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December 2, 2011


On the days I get anxious, I walk. On the days I feel happy, I walk.

I love that forward feeling of moving through space. I walk a lot. Yesterday I did twelve miles (seven in the morning, five in the evening) and for the first time I wore a Band-Aid over the rough spot on my right heel. The gal who gave me a pedicure is the one who recommended it, and I believe she is an expert in such matters so I took her advice. It takes constant maintenance to keep well-worn feet like mine in a pretty condition -- if feet can ever be considered pretty, which they cannot, because they gross me out -- and mine get a lot of mileage.

ALSO I haven't checked my email in a month. I am the Encino Man version of myself, trapped in ice or mud or just behind on everything.

It's the holidays, the constant forward march of Christmas, always there, the good stuff (Christmas tree, lights, visits with old friends) and the other stuff (lonely). You are not supposed to say this. You are supposed to be resilient and single and fabulous and volunteering at the mission on Christmas and just happy to be alive. You are supposed to be thankful for while you may be alone you are at least not covered in scabies. But secretly I am dreading Christmas Eve, the one night of the year I feel lonely. If that makes you want to send me unsolicited advice on how to be happy please resist the urge, just this one time, it can be your little Christmas gift to me.

This year I declare it to be okay for all lonely people to rise up and be crazypants maudlin. It is one season out of the year, let's be out of our minds with sorrow, let's be rancid with longing, or let's be just kind of irritated in traffic (whatever works for you). We will be the truest versions of ourselves. Let's honk and maybe roll our eyes dramatically. Sigh. Send a tipsy text message to the one who got away. Let's get it all out of our systems so the new year can be fresh and shiny and full of forward motion.

Posted by laurie at December 2, 2011 11:03 AM