August 5, 2011
My flowerpot hat is at the cleaners
My friend Corey scored free tickets to DEVO tonight and her husband can't go so she invited me to the concert. I'm pretty sure I only know one Devo song and still I'm ridiculously excited about this concert because was it not just two weeks ago I was waxing nostalgic for the 1980s? It's like God heard me, people. And God said, "I give you one night to wear your blue mascara."
Corey called yesterday to discuss the greatest issue of our time.
"What are you wearing to this concert?" she asked.
"I'm not sure yet! What are you wearing?"
"I can't decide," she said. "I'm either going hipster of full-board super-preppie."
"You do uber-preppie so well it's scary," I said. "See? This is my serious disadvantage. My only two personal style genres are upscale homeless* and slutty ex-cheerleader."
(*A style also known as If I Were A Fat Olsen Twin)
"So what are you leaning toward?" she asked.
"Slutty cheerleader? I have these skinny jeans that I have never worn because they literally only fit me for the six minutes I was trying them on in the dressing room back in, oh, 2008," I said. "I tried them on this morning and they zipped and they're cute but so tight I might asphyxiate and pass out."
"If you're passed out on the icky floor of the concert place I am not giving you mouth-to-mouth," said Corey. "In case you ever wanted to know the limits of our friendship. That's where I draw the line."
"Oh, no worries," I said. "They're so tight I'd never fall over. I'd probably just pass out standing up."
"Then it looks like we have a winner!" she said.
It's always good to know where you stand with your friends. And I will be standing. Especially in those jeans.
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Happy Friday, ya'll! Whip it! Whip it good!
Posted by laurie at August 5, 2011 9:27 AM