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March 4, 2011

New Moon in Uranus

Today is March 4th, the new moon is new though probably not in Uranus. It just never gets old saying Uranus.

Some Very Important Things:

1) Consider That Gauntlet Thrown
So you probably already know this if you're on The Twitter with me (recently I've been abducted by Twitter. I've had The Twitter for a while now but sort of forgot about it for long periods of time. In the past few weeks I've been absconded by the madness. I think it's the combination of all the #winning and #mcLobster. Plus I love the sweet, rich taste of irony I get when I hear stuffy news anchors reading crazy celebrity Twitter feeds as if they are real news.)

SO what I was saying about me throwing down the gauntlet. I decided yesterday that I am no longer going to politely step all the way around those bulldozer people who are walking in the crosswalk or on the sidewalk or at the store or in the mall while their eyes are glued to their smartphones.

On my walk yesterday I had to flatten myself against a palm tree so that I didn't run into a man who was walking forward on the sidewalk quickly and aggressively while typing on his Blackberry. That is when I decided GAME OVER PEOPLE. At the next crosswalk I found myself squared off against an oncoming lady whose eyes were glued to her phone. I braced myself and stayed on my course and Thwap! When we collided she barely looked up.

"Is that your seeing eye phone?" I asked. She didn't even hear me. Nonetheless, I felt victorious. Bruised, but victorious.

I don't think this is a lasting strategy because I don't actually like people touching me. So I'm thinking maybe one of those loud noise maker thingies may do the trick. Or printing myself a bunch of stickers that say "Hang up and walk!" and slapping them on the backs of passing phonebots. What do you think?


2) Or Maybe I'm Just Grumpy
It's been cold in the early mornings so I've been walking midday when more phonebots are clogging the sidewalks. Perhaps when summer is back and I'm walking again at the crack of dawn I will forget all about them.

3) Why I Can't Get Enough Crazy
I've been captivated by Charlie Sheen's antics because he has completely raised the bar for all future meltdowns. If you're going to catch on fire with crazy my philosophy is that you better do it with gusto. Mission Accomplished! I love it. I love good crazy especially when I am not married to it or working for it.

4) More Stuff I Learned From The Innernet

I follow Martha Beck on Twitter, because she's smart and I learn things. Her blog today is all about sleep and how sleep helps your brain get its act together. (You can read it here.) I've been sleeping a lot the past few months -- more than in the past five years. Which isn't all that unusual considering the ridiculous insomnia I had for so long, but I wasn't sure it would ever end (insomnia feels like a bad soundtrack playing constantly over the movie of your life) and now that I can sleep again I started to worry. Am I sleeping too much? Am I wasting my life? How much sleep can one person need? Am I a slacker for not waking up at 4 a.m. every day like clockwork? Is it lame to go to bed before 10 p.m.? I can drive myself batty with this stuff.

But Martha Beck says it's good for the brain. So I am now officially giving myself a break. Thank you, Life Coach From Afar.

5) While we're at it, let's just give ourselves a break all over the place
I'm starting to understand that in my life there are my little problems and then there is all the big, swirly judgment I heap on myself about my little problems. People, it is exhausting. For the rest of March I am going to live my life and hold off on the ladle of extra-juicy judgy that comes with every bite. I feel better already.

6) I'm Running Up That Hill!
Now it's time to untether from the innernet, put down the twittermachine and go for a walk. I've tried many things in my time to get my mojo unwrinkled. I have sampled many fine wines and many bad ones, too. I have eaten, smoked, juiced, fasted, read self-help, written self-help (hah!) and tried to get my hands on that Secret. On my Quest For Calm I have found activities that I enjoy (knitting, reading, TV binges) and activities that make me feel virtuous (yoga, church, going to Whole Foods).

But after all this time the thing I love most is still a good old fashioned walk. No music, no headphones, just me and my shoes and the sidewalk, thinking and walking and breathing until the tension melts out and the only thing I can feel are my legs moving and my lungs filling with crispy, fortified L.A. air.

It's free. It doesn't take any particular skill, it's as close to meditation as I may ever get. And I'm fast, so if you're on your phone and not paying attention I may just meditate right over you. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

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P.S. Book Club On Monday!
Our online book club meets on Monday to talk about When We Were Strangers: A Novel. I'm finding this book a very fast read, so you still have time to slurp it up and join us on Monday!

Posted by laurie at March 4, 2011 8:20 AM