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February 7, 2011

The smell! Can you smell that smell!

Last week I went to the acupuncture doctor as I have been doing and he worked on my ankle. As he has been doing.

I have sprained and fractured and broken my ankles more times than you can say Toe Touch Jump! So I rehabbed it like you do and the acupuncture seemed to help. One day the goodlooking acupuncture doc even massaged my ankle which led me to proposition him accidentally.

After that he only stuck needles in my foot. No more massage for you!

Last week he came in after our session with a huge, wide piece of white adhesive medical tape. In the middle was a brown schmear the size of a postcard.

"I put this on your ankle, leave on for two days," he said.

"Uh, OK," I said. Because have I mentioned the acupuncture doctor is very goodlooking? I don't talk much around the hotness.

Later that day I was back at home, working at my desk. I noticed an odor and I wondered if the cats had made an extremely generous contribution to the box recently. It happens.

I cleaned the box, no abatement. As I worked the odor grew stronger. Since I am not a fast learner it took a while to realize the smell was coming from me. My ankle, to be exact. Whatever powerful herbal remedy was brewing on the bandage was stinking up my whole office with a vengeance. Was it possible I was sitting in my chair with extruded iguana feces on my ankle? It smelled possible.

I thought about the repercussions of being stinkified. Pros and cons were weighed, mental lists happened, stuff was considered. In the end, I stayed stunk up. AND GLORIOUSLY SO! Why not? I filed this away under Reason 519 that I am happy to be single and not living with another human.

And my ankle feels good today! Bring on the extruded iguana poo!

Posted by laurie at February 7, 2011 7:46 PM