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January 18, 2011

When in doubt, make a list

• Regis is what?
Regis Philbin announced today that he's retiring from his TV show. I didn't realize I had strong feelings one way or the other about Regis until he decided to up and leave. Apparently, my deep dislike of change extends even to things I pretend to care nothing about!

• So what if I want to change -- I would like everything else to stay the same

Just yesterday I was driving down Magnolia Blvd. in the valley and saw that a garden shop and pottery place that has been there for a million years is going out of business. The first thing that popped into my head was, "No! I don't want my Valley to change!" I felt the exact same pang of personal loss when The Ivy on Ventura Blvd. posted a going out of business sign. Even if I don't shop there. Apparently I want to live in the Barbie Dream House where everything stays the exact same and only Barbie changes her clothes and accidentally gets her hair cut off with manicure scissors.

• Heavy
Did you watch A&E's premiere of the new TV show HEAVY last night? Part of me was thinking that I really want to go spend a month locked in a room with that male personal trainer. And part of me was thinking you could not pay me enough money to get in a bathing suit on national television. Ever.

• I bought a bathing suit
Hey, that could be the opening line for my future horror novel!
Yes, last night I sat in a darkened room and scoured the internet for a bathing suit that would cover all my parts. Apparently those are called "wet suits." Why, you may wonder, would this woman who gets hives just thinking about spandex be contemplating bathing gear?

In early December I sprained my ankle and I haven't been able to walk obsessively every day all day (gosh, I wonder how I sprained my ankle?) so I thought I might visit the local gym which has a pool. Sounds good, yes? Except to get in a pool you need all kinds of mental preparation. If you are me, which I am. There's the bathing suit, for one thing. And there's the Everest-like task of removing all body hair from all parts near and wide, and wider, and then there is the fear that each person at the pool will be a Hollywood actress slash model slash rockstar because this is Los Angeles and I am more of a Mississippi magnolia. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

• Summer
Our weather has been spectacular, like the best parts of summer all rolled into one week. Yesterday I thought I should do some spring cleaning and I tried, I tried to declutter a bit and de-stash but all I did was rearrange my stuff. Why is it that sometimes you just want to cling?

Posted by laurie at January 18, 2011 10:12 AM