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May 1, 2010

May Check in

A brief one. April was the sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives, cue dramatic music, wear too much makeup, sigh dramatically.

So here it is:

Goal One: Get Healthy (Actions)
Well, OK. So that happened.

The mere fact that I did not spend last month sleeping on the floor of a Jack-in-the-Box so I could absorb deep-fried items 24/7 is a miracle. There was one day when I was driving home from work, blubbering but trying not to be too obvious about it, and I looked over and saw a woman in a Volkswagon Jetta lighting up a cigarette and I thought, "I MUST HAVE ONE NOW." And yet I just drove myself home. I didn't stop at 7-11 and buy a carton of Marlboro lights and I am counting that as a major victory.

Granted, I did go into my earthquake kit and dig out the boxed wine I have on hand in case of emergencies (it was an emergency of sorts) but I haven't smoked now in what... three? four? years and I saw her light up and I was thisclose to just giving up entirely on health and well-being, which tells you all you need to know about my April without me going into the sordid details.

Awesome month! So happy it is over!

I did not walk every day. Or any day, except all that walking to and from the bus stops when my Jeep was in the shop. I did spend several days during the month cleaning obsessively which I count as exercise. My neighbors are probably all plotting to break my Dyson under cover of darkness. I actually Magic Erasered some of the paint off the walls. Oops.

Also, I ate junk food. Into every life some junk food will fall. It happens. In the long run, getting an order of drive-thru french fries was probably better than starting smoking again so I am cutting myself some slack. But I did manage some good meals including making myself tuna salad which does not have any lettuce in it but does have the word "salad" in the name!

So for the month I just sort of maintained. I was not super healthy but not completely in the ditch. As Scarlett would say, tomorrow is another day!

Goal Two: Yes (Attitude)
This Year of Yes thing has been like that old proverb where you ask God for patience and he sends you a traffic jam.

Yeah, HEE-larious.

But you know what? I'm still making jokes and I have my cats and my friends and family and my avalanche of yarn and it's good. There have been all sorts of changes happening in the mechanics of my life (and listen, I don't always embrace rocky changes that well) (you think?) and I think I am handling it not too badly. Etc. etc. Also I am right now doing something very fun which I will tell you about later and so May is already looking better than all of April and here it's only been May for like an hour.

May Goals
In May I want to try again to walk every day for the month (eventually I will make this goal) and I want to eat more vegetables. I also want to remember not to spend energy defending my unhappiness and instead to put that energy into writing, knitting, cleaning house, hanging out with friends, cooking, anything else. That is what the Yes Year is all about, deciding deliberately to let go of festering and embrace something, anything else.

And now it's May. May, two-thousand-ten. Crazypants.

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Posted by laurie at May 1, 2010 4:24 AM