Beautiful post. Thank you.

Coupl'a trite but mostly true thoughts ... you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself, and nothing says Happy Valentine's like some saturated fats & slutty lingerie. ;p

From one single gal to another. [fist bump]

— Bonz

I hope you have a good Valentines day too. I dont think people need to have a guy (or girl) to make the day a good one.

If I dont get any chocolate or a card from my boyfriend that's cool with me. I'd like to spend the day with him and hope I do, but it's not going to be the end of my world if he has to work that day, because it's not the only day that's special.

Anytime I get to spend with him is special. (I dont get to spend that much time with him. He works his ass off just to live and lives 50miles from me)

If I spend the day at home, knitting, crocheting and watching Stargate Atlantis DVDs, I'll be happy with that too. V-day is just a day.

Plus, if I dont get to go out with him on Valentines, it'll be easier to find a restaurant that's not crowded two weeks from now, rather than stand in line at a popular restaurant on sunday night.

I have been single for a long time now, too. I've never been married but am doing the single parent thing, though he's 15 now and so we're going to be going through some major life changes in a few years when he finishes high school...but anyway...

What I started out to say is that I don't think a lot of people get the single-but-not-lonely thing figured out. I just had this conversation with a guy I met through a dating site I don't recommend (I deleted my profile already), and it boiled down to he was kind of lonely and I'm just good being by myself at this point in life. I've got a lot of things going my way.

Every once in a while I get down, but this year's self-assigned Valentine's Day exercise is going to be a Facebook post asking all my friends to tell me how they met their significant other. It's my favorite conversation starter anyway, and over half my friends list is high school people and I'd really like to hear their stories of how they got together. I am trying to stay in a happy-for-them place as opposed to a wah-wah-wah-why-not-me place.

Beautiful post. While I don't really share your faith in God - I'm a questioner, and don't quite know what I believe - I just love how you've so eloquently described what it can be like to be single and HAPPY.

I didn't think it was possible either, long ago. I didn't think I'd enjoy traveling solo. But I love it, love that I've built a post-divorce life for myself that is fulfilling. And happy.

I'd love to find a special someone again, but I don't honestly feel like something's missing from my life because I'm single.

Happy Valentine's Day, Laurie. And thank you.

Hi Laurie,

Thank you for a wonderful post! You've been an inspiration as I endure my ridiculous on-going divorce of 3.5 years. In these years of being "alone" I've lost my 3 Siberian companions to old age (15 years +) and I'm still here. I've grown to love my own company and found myself (or am still finding myself) after a very, very long time. Thanks for the great and thoughtful blog!

Christine

Your post was just what I needed. I was talking today with my friend about how we don't really want to be adults, but all these heavy things keep happening to us. We've been wondering where to turn, and sometimes it turns out that it is God or church or unitarianism or something. A place that talks about this stuff and helps to make us feel better about being adults and shouldering all these issues that we didn't have to deal with in our twenties.

So thanks for talking about your stuff :)

It's very unlike me to talk publicly about "God" because I don' really have a planned religion or a strict concept of it. I just love thinking about weird loves and God comes to mind. When Roy died I was alone and distraught and I really prayed and I felt like I wasn't alone. It didn't turn me into a bible-thumper, instead it made me hopeful that even in dark moments we are not as alone as we think.

I know it's a risk to write all that but I'm just talking out loud here.

I'm so grateful that we now seem to have more roads available to us all to HappyTown. Mine is not maybe the standard road, but it is a road. I'm good with that.

Just today I saw an advertisement with a cat who looked so much like my Jack, it knocked the wind out of me. I have other pets, and Jack has been gone since 1999, but. Jack was my Roy. Not to get all Crazy Cat Lady, but I think he taught me how to be a girlfriend/wife. I mean, he was this big guy (4 foot long when he stretched out), hairy, and didn't care for P.D.A. He had a big ego, that needed constant bolstering, but handsome. When I found him, he was this pathetic kitten, covered in a greasy rag, and he fit in my cupped hands. I was his mother, and later, he thought I was his Platonic wife. When I met my husband, Jack ran away, and I never found him. I still miss him, and honestly think he thought I cheated on him. This is a good time to think of our loved ones, furry and human. Happy Valentine's Day.

My goodness, you're an amazing writer, and you have a gift for capturing and explaining fleeting and fascinating thoughts.

So glad that you've discovered solo travel and travel in general! I've spent a few years (cumulatively, including one consecutive year) traveling around the world, mostly solo, and it's the best thing ever in more ways than I could explain to non-travelers. So few limits and so many regular reminders of how spectacular the world is and how small we are in it. I recently did 3 months in India mostly solo - one of the ultimate travel destinations in terms of challenges - and it was fantastic. There's nowhere we women can't travel solo and have a fabulous experience!

Yea for you Laurie I could not agree more with your thoughts for myself I have been married 2 times for my first marriage he and I decided that we were better friends than partners and we are still friends not we don't talk regularly but we still have common friends and such we were high school sweethearts married for almost 10 years and they were good and fun wouldn't trade them at all but shortly after we parted I met my current husband and later this year we will have been married for 21 years and I still get excited when it is time for him to come home from work or when it is his day off and we get to spend it together doing absolutely nothing or running all day trying to keep our lives under control. But I am also very comfortable in myself when I met him I was not looking for anyone or anything just adjusting to a new job city and state and was happy going home by myself or meeting friends for a few drinks or deciding on my newest project knitting sewing etc. and without my faith in whatever you want to call it I knew that I was going to be okay because when I decided to leave everything I knew when I divorced I could have stayed I was the one who chose to leave in the 1st marriage and we would have been fine we had fun and liked each other but my heart didn't go pitty pat pitty pat and when I let go my heart felt so free and I felt god would help take care of me along with my new friends new place to live and he did. And after I met my husband he asked my to marry him within 6 months and I said no but agreed to move in with him when we made it to our 1yr of being a couple and then made him wait for 2 more years before we got married and her we are almost 21 yrs later all because I took a leap of faith and left my husband and job and state for all new things. More Power to you and your future. Love your stuff and Happy Knitting Trixhilda

Amen.

Thank you for continuing to share your grief over Roy, because it helps me (and I'm sure, others) who grieve as deeply and long over a beloved pet as they do for some people they have lost, yet feel as though that is not quite socially acceptable. Sometimes I think that it is almost easier to bear the loss of the people I have lost, because it is perfectly 'normal' to talk about that to others, but I have few people with whom I feel I can share that I still miss, intensely, every day, my beloved cat who died three years ago. In a way, it makes the loss of the pet worse, because it's harder to unload the sadness when you can't talk freely about it. So thanks, you help me feel validated. And I do believe that you will hold your Roy, and I will hold my Trouble (yes that's her name) again.

Not single, but everything you wrote resonated with me. What a wonderful post, Laurie. Thanks, and happy V-day ... you deserve it! (We met in Nashville, I don't expect you to remember me but I will never forget you!)

I wish I could have gotten where you are back when I was single; I might still be single! In fact, I think I was a happier person when I was single and in charge of my own barge, I just didn't know it. I bought into all the hype that being paired up was the way to go. Bless you for figuring it all out and saying it so well. Great post.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm so glad you've found a happy place. Thank you for so often bringing truth (sometimes difficult and painful, but truth)to my day.

WOW! DID I SAY WOW! You have said everything that needs to be said. What a wonderful post. I have been single (divorced) for a mighty long time and have always struggled with oneness. I am a single mom who has a son and a cat. We do the very best we can.

I recently came across a passage in a book that effected me greatly. Here it it.....Self-esteem is a relationship with your own self. Labeling something as a mistake and judging yourself as bad for having made it gets in the way of that relationship. Self Esteem has nothing to do with avoiding mistakes. Self-esteem is rooted in your UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE of yourself as an innately worthy being, regardless of mistakes. Feeling good about yourself is not something you do after all mistakes have been corrected--it's something you do in spite of mistakes! (AMEN AMEN)!

I am embracing that attitude and yours! Thx for sharing!

This is the perfect post for Valentine's Day.

You are so eloquent, in a non-threatening way. I have been single my entire life, and it is a wonderful life. Love comes in all shapes and sizes and it isn't always what we think we should have.

Whut WHUT!!!! Thank you Laurie - this is beautiful.

Whut Whut, Laurie.

Words fail me . . . thank you!

"There are many roads to personal fulfillment..." - Amen!! And sometimes we take a fork here and there and end up somewhere we didn't expect and maybe it is good and maybe we decide to take a U-turn.

For me, the key is the CHOICE to be happy in whatever circumstances, even if I'm working towards moving to different ones.

I was very happily single for most of my adult life after 2 marriages which while not difficult, were not right for me. I had a few relationships since but was very content on my own and not "looking". To my surprise, I met and married for the 3rd time- within the last 4 months and at the age of 54. And we met in my backyard! I am happy - not more than when I was single as I was happy then also - it is just different and the right spot for me now.

Attitude, perspective, knowing thyself...and I firmly believe that we cannot be a good partner unless we are a good single.

Cheers, Love and a Rich and Blessed Life to you and all!

Yo Dr. Laurie,
What a beautiful post to wake up to. I'm sending you a "whut whut" from over here in the great tropical southeast wrapped in a chocolate covered hug. What you wrote is a much needed Valentine's gift to lots of people who are not part of a mandatory couple formation. May your day be full of love and no sliding mud.
xox
you know who
p.s. tell me that a great v-day gift is not a bowl of roses that double as a pledge for public radio?

Yo Dr. Laurie,
What a beautiful post to wake up to. I'm sending you a "whut whut" from over here in the great tropical southeast wrapped in a chocolate covered hug. What you wrote is a much needed Valentine's gift to lots of people who are not part of a mandatory couple formation. May your day be full of love and no sliding mud.
xox
you know who
p.s. tell me that a great v-day gift is not a bowl of roses that double as a pledge for public radio?

Beautiful post, Laurie. I've been reading your archives and it is so amazing to see how far you've come in five years. Thanks for sharing your journey with all of us in such beautiful prose. I'm married, but what you say about not expecting another person to make you happy applies in marriage too--I think that's where a lot of people have problems. Expecting another to make you happy, even your spouse, is asking for trouble!

Lovely post, Laurie.

Beautiful! Count me among those who are so happy that you're happy. Sometimes it's not so important *how* you come to be happy as the fact that you *are.*

When we make peace with ourselves, we open up a world of opportunity. : ) I was thinking the same thing about the candy sale.

Great post, Laurie -- you sound so comfortable in your own skin! And another "whut whut" from one introvert to another -- we are fun, delightful, sociable people! We just need a little more quiet time to recharge our batteries walking on the beach or kneading pasta or curled up with a good book. And you are never really alone -- there is always someone out there, a couple of handshakes away, who is in tune with you -- God bless the internets. Happy Valentine's Day!

That was absolutely beautiful. I find it amazing how often I'm reading your thoughts on travel, or (my former home of) LA, and nodding my head along with you, thinking "yes, this woman, she GETS it". Today, I was doing that with tears in my eyes, especially when you mentioned that you and God just understand each other. You GET IT!!! Thank you for leaving the comments open, just so I could give a shout out to my kindred souls out there like you!!

I'm with ya! I LOVED being single and having my own space & time to pursue whatever interest tickled MY fancy. I'm married now, but sometimes look back with longing to the freedom I had to just do MY thing - whatever that was. Always felt like the opportunity for excitement was right outside my door. Good for you!

"Happiness is an inside job." Can I quote you on that? I love it.

Laurie

Thanks for affirming I am not the only hermit out here. I'm married but like you "I keep myself good company."

What you call Spirit/God, I call The Universe, and I agree with you - it's got your back! My leap of faith tells me that the Universe will provide what I need when I need it, no worries, I just need to be open enough to recognize the gift being given. Today I was feeling so very down, and the Universe gave me the gift of inspiration - your very beautiful post. Thank you, Laurie.

I wish all singles could "get" this post! I've been divorced since 1991 after 17 years of a less then perfect marriage! I could finally breathe again and it took me 4-5 years to "find myself" again. But once shed of his miserableness, my life just took off ... freedom to do whatever, a much MUCH better job and pay and I got through it all by telling people, "All I need is me, myself and God" and, by golly, that's what made it perfectly alright to be alone. I'd go off on roadtrips and loved being out on the open road without a single worry about anything and I'm still here to tell about it. I read your post every morning and your writing is so enjoyable ... this one just hit the old nail on the head! Happy Valentine's Day to you and your cats. I'll be spending my day with my cat, too!

Fantastic post, Laurie. That could have been me writing those words. So glad to know we're not alone in this world -- solo, but not alone. Your descriptions of traveling alone inspired me to plan a trip to London this year. I can't wait! Thank you and happy Valentine's Day.

Good to know that someone else out there celebrates the truly important holidays: the day after Valentines, the day after Easter, the day after Halloween, and the day after Christmas. Bring on the cheap chocolate! Oh, and this: "being solo isn't the same as being lonely" is brilliant. Thanks for your thoughts!

LURV this post. It made me so happy and teary and blessed to be reading it, single, with my kitty cat upstairs snoozing, watching the olympics with the woodfire burning away. Thanks for being a bit of alright Laurie! You rock.

LURV this post. It made me so happy and teary and blessed to be reading it, single, with my kitty cat upstairs snoozing, watching the olympics with the woodfire burning away. Thanks for being a bit of alright Laurie! You rock.

WOO HOO! Chocolate sale!! Almost out of my xmas chocolate sale chocolates!

Perfect!

Wonderful post. It perfectly articulates so much that single people need to hear, especially at this time of year. It can take a long time to actually believe it but it's true, happiness does come from within.

This post makes me feel good. Thank you!

Wonderful post! You are on the road to discovering yourself. We have to be comfortable in our own skin in order to be happy and it sounds like you are there. What an uplifting post! I smiled as I read it. Thanks Laurie!

Hi Laurie,
Are you sure we're not twins? I could have written that post. That is if I could write that well.
Thanks for saying what a lot of us feel.

Love you back!

Thank you for this post. It's everything I've been feeling but couldn't seem to articulate.

Amen. I love being a single woman! What is better than never having to be responsible for someone else, never having to share the remote, and being selfish with your time whenever you want? Happy Valentines Day!

It's an amazing feeling when we stop trying to find ourselves in somebody else. I always bought myself a little chocolate when I was a single. It's not about somebody else loving me--it's about ME loving ME.

Beautiful and true. I LOVE travelling by myself, too. I'm going to miss my single life of mornings in bed with the cats and watching Princess Bride on repeat when I get married. *hugs!*

YEAH! All the chocolate goes on sale! :D

Perfect. Thank you.

Excellent post. I couldn't agree more, and it's so nice to see that other women are finding happiness in life outside the boundaries that society still sets for us.

You often bring me happiness as I laugh out loud at some of your postings! I'm so glad to hear that you have at last found a happy place in your life. Have you read http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/ Her site is another one of my favorites.

(Agree)!!! Thanks for your writing. I sure enjoy reading it.

This is a beautiful post, I must admit to crying a bit : )So glad that you have come to such a place of contentment and happiness...I remember what my life was like when I was "single and looking" and it was crap compared to what it was when I was single and happy. Happy chocolate shopping!!

Happiness is an inside job.

Love it!

What a great post. I loved every single word of it. Happy Valentine's Day to you as well!

so true. In the quiet house I sit on the bedroom floor going through some old books, just cleaned out a drawer, 3 cats are sleeping around me. Can life get better? Just wish I didn't have to go out to the bank!

Thanks for the Saturday post. what a surprise.

You are inspiring. What you wrote about independence was amazing. The funny thing is I had the opposite problem. I was the independent, can't ever rely on others type and actually had to learn how to give up some of that control to my partner. So it is possible, and just as tricky, to have the extreme at the other end of things. I like your idea that there is really no one "right way" and relationship needs are different for everyone.

I also travel solo by choice and LOVE IT. In fact, during a part work/part holiday trip to France I met up with other people by prearrangement, and spent the last four days of the visit wishing I had never agreed to do so. Nearly spoiled the holiday. Nothing replaces the freedom to decide when, where, how, and "am I really enjoying this?"

Happy Valentines Day - to ALL of us :)

Can I get an "amen" for on sale chocolate?!

Happy Valentine's Day!

No-one loves you like yourself :o)

I swear, Laurie, every third post or so you write makes me want to write and ask you to marry me. Then I remember I'm a (mostly) straight woman who's been (mostly) happily married for the last 34 years. So, uh, never mind. But I do enjoy your writing! And I'm expecting the mailman to bring your new book Any Day Now. Happy Half-price Chocolate Day!

"Happiness is an inside job." I love it. I may just paint that across the wall of my yarnatorium.

I'm so proud of you Laurie! :)

It is so nice to find 'you' and like it, and know it's o.k.to just be. Right, wrong, just because.

You are filling the world with a lot of wisdom, dear Laurie. I can only hope and wish that everyone has the opportunity to learn this very lesson. /hi5 to you! :)

Thank you, Laurie, I wish you the same. You keep writing and I'll keep reading! Happy Valentine's Day!

Amen, honey. So glad you've found this joy.

Happy day, and enjoy the chocolate!

dg

Laurie, you need to get a picture and link to your new book on your sidebar.
Don't fight being an introvert. Is there something wrong with being one?
There are pros and cons to being part of a couple or being single. Neither is perfect.
Love the bit about the man being "only 57."

I never imagined that I'd be 50 (all right, I'll be 51 next week, if you must know) and the guy I married at 22 would still be my favorite dining companion. I mean, if you'd asked me on my wedding day I'd have said yes, of course, but truthfully, just imagining being 50 was quite beyond me.

Some people grow apart, and some grow together, and some of that is work, but I gotta say, from where I sit most of it is dumb luck. I'm content to be dumb and lucky.

Happy VD... er, Valentine's Day to you, Laurie! (Hey, another benefit of the single life.) While my husband goes to the dump I have to get out my needles and yarn and make a slightly risque gift for my Valentine swap pal. I think I know just the pattern.

Love what you've written here, Laurie. I felt like I needed a man to complete my life, and I finally found one and married him at 38. But since then I've found that, while I enjoy the life we have together, I still need more to complete who I am...and I'm test-driving new things all the time to see what fits.

Wishing you and all your readers and wonderful Valentine's Day as we celebrate loving the lives we are creating.

Another singleton here!

Life is good, be happy now, let it go!

And flowers are marked down too!

I'm a forty-something married with kids, and my two best friends are forty-something singles with no kids. There are many times I envy the peace and independence of their lives, and there are about zero times they envy my life (I'm not guessing, they each have told me so.)

Laurie,

You're awesome! I've been walking my journey toward single happiness after an abusive marriage and brutal divorce, and you have inspired me. Thanks for all the great advice.

Happy Valentine's Day, you beautiful soul, you.

My husband and I boycott it. We celebrate it with our daughter, but that's about the extent that we go to.

Most of the time, V-day has involved us doing things separately. It's pretty awesome.

Yay! What a great post!

I like looking at Valentine's Day as celebrating all the love we have around us, in all its forms, too.

Traveling solo really does rock. Life _is_ wide and so is the world.

Profound post. Thank you. For the first time in my life, I have a Valentine of my own. And I am very happy about it. But I am also grateful for the years I didn't, because they taught me that I can stand alone, and be very happy doing it. Life is good, and who doesn't love chocolate sales!

Feels good to finally "get" it, doesn't it? Until we do, there is always something just not quite right that we can't put a finger on...

Profound is right. Congratulations for sticking it out, thank-you so very, very much for sharing your journey with all of us, and I celebrate your joy along with you.

You ROCK.

Thanks. I needed to hear this. I always tend to feel sorry for myself and start to question my choices at this time of the year. Not just because it's V-Day but it's also my 49th birthday which leads to a double-whammuy of self doubt and what have I accomplished in my time on this earth feelings.

I start to think maybe the ex wasn't so bad, and maybe if I ust tried harder, and lost fifty pounds, and had plastic surgery, etc. I could find true love and I would magically turn into someone that if I am homest I never actually wanted to be in the first place.

Hi Laurie,
I was just curious and wondering if you read the comments we post back to you?

I have read your blog for years and commented a few times, but this post really struck me!

I am single! I am divorced! I am a single Mom! Just recently I've come to and accepted that I have so much happier and so much more "me" when I am single and living my life just being me.

I feel like I've been called to a life of singleness and am so utterly happy and have such a feeling of wholeness in this!

Many of my married friends can't understand this to save their lives. I always hear "You just haven't met the one yet" or "Once you stop looking, he'll show up, so I'm sure you'll have someone soon" or "You just need this..." or "You just need that...". I'm just happy, like this, raising my daughter by myself and unfortunately too many people in the world don't feel that this can be a way of happiness too!

:)

Love the post Laurie. I've lived alone for more than 30 years. I agree it's not for everyone, but a great gig if it happens to suit you. Will go buy some good chocolate tomorrow!

While I do love being married, having kids and travelling as a family, I surely do miss my single vacations. They were nice. So was peace and quiet at home for an entire weekend.

A very happy day at home in your own domestic bliss.

Thank you yet again for a fantastic post. I have a hard time getting thru to some people that I CHOOSE to be single and alone does not equal lonely. Quite the opposite. I have several coupled friends that are the loneliest people I know. A million thanks for again reading my mind and wording it better than I ever could. Your blog is always the highlight of my day...a little giggle..a little "all right sista" moment. Keep up the good work!
Claudia & Calvin (we've been together for 12 years and he's my furry valentine!)

Wonderful post! I've been divorced for nearly 7 years now. Some people can't understand how I can be single and happy...but I am. Sure, sometimes I feel alone at times, but never lonely. I feel that as long as you enjoy your own company, the company of your pets, friends...your hobbies, etc..you're good. You have to enjoy being with yourself, you know? And, if at times I feel a bit lonely, I always remember a saying I heard long ago: "I'd rather be lonely than sorry." Yup. You're awesome, Laurie!

~Lisa

great post. i'm a long time married person of seemingly very conventional life style. and this all resonates with me too. kumbayah is just all right with me...

Thank you for this post!

Excellent post, hadn't considered the chocolate sale post-Valentines day. That's one upside to the rampant commercialism!! Have a happy day.

Many years ago on my first solo trip I kept catching myself thinking, "Oh, I wish he (or the kids or whatever) were here to see this! I'll have to bring them to this exact spot next time." I thought was doomed to feel incomplete when I traveled alone.

So I was SHOCKED to find that on my second trip, I was SO totally over that.

Sometimes it can be fun to travel with another person, but it can be really distracting, too: when I'm with someone else, I look at things through their eyes, go places that fit their interests. I don't feel as free to spend six hours at a museum or wandering around a neighborhood "pointlessly," because I'm always wondering if the other person might be bored... (Guess it's the co-dependency thing!)

By contrast, going solo is the most freeing feeling in the world. Your time is your own; you don't have to answer to anyone about what time you go out or when (and if) you come home. You can stop where you like, skip the parts you find boring, dine at an elegant restaurant, or eat nothing but peanut butter and crackers all day if you're on the go.

Bliss!

thank you for writing this brilliant post! i am 31, and i just cannot believe how happy i am living alone, after spending my whole life trying to meet someone who would complete me.

and god, traveling alone is just the best thing in the world. i have some hermit tendencies as well, and international travel can also be scary and exhausting when one kind of wants to just stay in bed, but my god, the feeling of self-sufficiency in negotiating the unknown is just nothing less than ecstatic. i travel internationally for a couple of weeks twice a year, and every time i feel it is the best thing i've ever done.

plus, both in travel and in life, i just can't believe that every single day i get to choose to do exactly what i want to do at every moment. it is intoxicating, this freedom! and i'm just so excited for the sale flowers tomorrow. flowers to me seem like such an outrageous luxury, and i can't wait to get them!

have a wonderful day!

You are a wonderful writer. I'm going to save this post - it's so "spot on". Thank you.

I've come to all the same conclusions, but through completely different circumstances. My husband is in the army. Today will be the third Valentine's Day in a row I've spent alone (okay, alone but yelling at my kids). Before we entered into this insane life, I had no idea I could have a baby by myself, move house with 2 little kids while he is on the other side of the planet, or travel on my own with kids in tow. Next week, I'm lugging my little horrors on a plane to meet him for our first real family vacation. That safe side of me would rather stay home and do what's familiar and routine. But I'm embracing being pulled out of my comfort zone and looking forward to what the travel gods throw at me, knowing I will be able to handle it on my own. I'm also packing Gravol. If it doesn't put my kids to sleep, I'll just take 3.
Thanks for another great post!

You said it all so perfectly, Thanks!

You rock.

I'm married with two kids and we don't celebrate VD aka Hallmark Day. We celebrate cheap candy day on the 15th! Target, here I come...

It took me about four years after my divorce to figure out that I was more than just okay being alone, I was happy and the best thing...content. I truly liked living alone. I went out and did things but like you, home was my sanctuary and still is. But now, I share it with my husband.

When we first moved in together, I was really angry at him and I couldn't figure out why until I realized...I had to live with a boy again. We made it through and now, it's fun having someone home again. And the best part is, he has his own "man town" so we have some time to ourselves whenever needed.

Happy Valentine's Day, Laurie...and Sobakawa, Bob and Frankie.

I, too, am happy on my own. I have recently separated from my husband of 22 years and this has been a hard road indeed. I left because try as I might, I was unhappy living a life that was just perfect FOR SOMEONE ELSE. I should have been happy and spent years trying to convince myself otherwise.

My choice has been hard on my children, surely, but I am finding my own way and feel finally authentic. I am my own self, out from under the umbrella of a failed relationship. Hope blooms again.

Perhaps one day I will remarry, but it is not the Holy Grail. For now, I am where I need to be and as a result, I am more able to be really present for my kids.

I really enjoy your blog, and your great sense of humor. Thanks for standing up for all of us who choose the company of our own souls.

happy valentines day your words inspire me every day!

Happy Day-Before-Chocolate-Goes-On-Sale Day!!

I was married for 12 yrs, single for 21 yrs afterwards and had moved myself to the PNW because I loved it there for so many reasons. I was just fine with my singleness (loved traveling alone, etc.)

Then, one day I decided I'd write a list of all the attributes my "perfect mate" would have, sealed it in a red envelope and put it away...a year later, I met my partner for life and loved him so much I took him up on his offer to move clear across the country & while I still miss the PNW (we get back there once a yr.), I don't regret my decision...just be sure if you make one of those lists that you are VERY specific (I asked for an engineer, assuming since I was in PNW that I would get a cptr. engineer...I got a diff. kind; but, that's still wonderful; perhaps more so!).

For many years I would camp out at the drug store the day after Valentines so I could load up on those Russell Stover hearts with the strawberry filling when they went on sale....it's a midwest addiction, I'm sure. Now I'm a bit pickier and am also buying less and enjoying it more.

One more thing...I LOVE your "composite" scarf and think you could get a lot of $$ for it (or ones like it!!). Please keep blogging and showing us your pix...when I return from a trip, yours is the 1st site I go to after I read my email!! Love, K.

Karen -- yes, I read all the comments! That's whythey are closed sometimes. Either that's a time when I won't be able to read comments or it's a subject I don;t want input on. I also monitor them for spam, some of which I just deleted (another reason I close comments on older posts once a new one goes up.)

So I am closing comments now but just wanted to say thank you for the lovely words and the insight into all your lives, too!