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January 6, 2010

Coffee, the miracle elixir

It's a new year, but my body didn't get the memo. My sleep issues are boring and long-winded, I've had chronic insomnia for years and I have lots of ways of dealing with it but sometimes even when I do manage to fall asleep or even if I take an Ambien (like I did last night) I wake up in the middle of the night. There I am, just wide awake at 3:30 a.m. and nothing will get me back to sleep.

Sometimes I get up and write for a while or read or just watch TV but usually by 6 a.m. I am sleepy and ready for bed and that is disastrous, because if I fall asleep then I fall hard asleep and it's inevitable that I will be late for work and start the day behind schedule which makes me feel upside-down and backwards and grumpy from the very start.

I hate that feeling of falling behind before you even start the day!

This morning when I watched the clock pass from 3:30 to 3:35 to 3:38, I decided to get up and stay up. I wrote a little bit, read a little bit, petted the cats, flossed, made coffee, watched the weather. (I love watching the weather report, even though the most exciting thing we ever have is a little mist four times a year, I still must see the weather report!) I got dressed in track pants and a t-shirt and when it finally ticked away to 5 a.m. I put on my hoodie and fancypants new Nike shoes and went for a walk.

What a difference a cup of coffee makes! On Monday I shlubbed my way through a plodding, lumpy 30-minute walk and needed a nap midway through. Yesterday I slept right through my alleged walking time and took a lunchtime walk instead, just a little "exercise" to the mall. But today I was full of energy, walking almost like I wasn't the marshmallow I've become. Walking with my arms swinging and none of that slow walrus pace I had on Monday.

There are several people here at work who actually "work out" and do real exercise on a regular basis, so I consulted with one of them and she said she always tries to have a little cup of coffee before hitting the gym. How did I not know this secret until now? Amazing. I love coffee, and now I have another reason to adore it anew.

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I meant to take a picture of my shoes but I forgot. When I wear them I pretend I am someone who is spry and athletic.

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I have been fantasizing a lot about vacation, since it's the start of a new year and I get a whole new set of fresh, sparkling new vacation days. Usually I take a trip in January around MLK day and another in February around Valentine's Day but I think I'm going to hold off until later in the year to do any traveling. I love to think about vacation, though. I like to imagine packing a bag, walking out of the airport into a different city, getting a taxi, walking around and seeing the sights of some new place.

It's so weird that I love to stay home more than anything in the world, but I also love to randomly book a flight to someplace far away and just go. I would rather get on a plane and fly for 14 hours to some foreign country than to have to speak in a meeting or go to a party where I don't know people. Sometimes I get nervous and start sweating just from talking to my boss! But I can hail a taxi in Madrid or order wine in Poland. Funny.

I guess when I'm far from home there isn't a lot of social anxiety since I am not going to be seeing anyone from vacation again and they don't give me a performance review and I don't have to go to a party with them or work in an office beside them each day. You're kind of free on vacation. Free from your daily time constraints and free from worrying what people think about you.

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I have been knitting a bunch of things, but one is a present I haven't mailed yet and the other I'll post tomorrow, I just got pictures of the item on the recipient. Wait until you see that amount of goofy goodness. My mom had to do seamstress surgery on it to get it to fit (I have NO IDEA how she managed that) and it was kind of a Christmas miracle. Hint: it involves the dog. Too funny.

That's all for today. MORE COFFEE.

Posted by laurie at January 6, 2010 8:38 AM