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August 27, 2009

Turning a corner

Sobakowa: Not interested in all the knitting.
(Also: Every time I see her in this pose, I think of a band we used to LOVE in college called "Government Cheese." They had a song called "Grandma Drives The Bus" and when I see the Sobakowa on her little cardboard boat I sing "Grandma drives the bus..." to her. This sidebar will make sense to the two other people on earth reading this who lived in Murfreesboro, TN in the 1990s. Long live the 'boro.)

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I'm not sure when or how but I feel like I turned a corner with my knitting and I've gone from being a beginner to a real knitter. Notice I didn't say I'm a real good knitter, but I do feel confident to knit just about anything even if I do complain about the lack of real words in some patterns.

I've made scarves and hats and mittens and socks and bags and more scarves and hats and I think that recently, when I dug into entrelac, something just clicked. I didn't care if I did it wrong, I just wanted to try it (for lifelong perfectionists such as myself, this is a sea change.) There's a big misconception that perfectionism makes you an overachiever but it can have the inverse opposite effect, paralyzing you and keeping you mired in inertia. It's such a relief to let go and just be willing to mess up and learn as you go.

I'm still a little intimidated by big huge charts but I don't feel like I can't do it. That's a change, too. I really like making sweaters, maybe I'll make one for myself. First maybe I'll make one for my dad, for my mom, for their dog... sweaters are completely addictive! Socks were OK, everyone said once you got into sock knitting it would grip you like caffeine-laced crack but it didn't really take with me. I did LOVE knitting all these baby booties to match my sweaters, though. All booties. Booty!

But I prefer mittens and gloves to socks, maybe next I'll make real gloves with fingers. I have a whole list now of things I want to knit! I'll never be the best or the fastest or the most experienced knitter and yet I just don't care, being superlative isn't why I do this. I do it because it's so relaxing and fun and sometimes challenging, because I love yarn and I love the feel of needles in my hands and I like all the little accessories, like stitch markers and that awesome "click" sound you get from ticking off another row on the counter.

It's just the activity of it that makes me happy. That's enough for me. It's not about being perfect, it's about pleasure.

Sobakowa is (of course) always perfect.

Posted by laurie at August 27, 2009 10:11 AM