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August 4, 2009

Tuesday bits and pieces

One:

As far as I can tell from watching my Facebook-addicted friends, that entire application was created for stalking old boyfriends and seeing who has gotten fat since high school and really, beyond that, I'm not sure what people do on there all day.

What I am sure about is that right now someone is composing me a detailed email with all the ways they love Facebook and so on and so forth and I am happy for you, may you forever Facebook in peace. I can barely keep up with my Tivo list, my email, my job and my life, so I am wary of adding new timesuckers. I did however finally send out a Twitter Tweet blahblahblah. Most of it was me just going, Yay! I figured it out! And then I sent out something I hoped was useful:

Ok -- easy one. Mistake Rib Scarf: Any yarn, any needle. CO 27 stitches. K2 P2 across row, purl last stitch. Repeat. BO. Scarftastic!.

But who really wants a knitting pattern in a single truncated breath? I'm not sure. I still don't know what the point of Twitter is, perhaps there isn't one. Maybe I just wanted to feel less antiquated for a few minutes. Anyway, I'm on there for now, @crazyauntpurl.

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Two:

Last week at Big Corporation, Inc., someone asked me to make a graphic representing the progress of a campaign and they wanted a big cartoony thermometer.

I thought, "But that would look like a big penis!"

Just as I was about to say this out loud, my filter engaged and instead I said, "But that would look... um, maybe very intriguing!" And I was so proud of myself. For once I was victorious over my mouth. Work is stressful for me on many levels, not the least of which is my constant feeling that I am inappropriate and eccentric and at any moment I may say something nonsensical that will result in security escorting me from the building.


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Three:

The only promise I made to myself for this fresh, new month was to exercise every day. Even if it's just for a few minutes. I went out for a walk early this morning before work, I made it thirty minutes. Not bad. Last night I had to go after commuting home from work and I was exhausted and grumpy about it. Forgetting to set my alarm on Sunday night meant that I overslept Monday morning and missed the bus and my day was all off-kilter.

There are people who love exercise but I am not among them. It doesn't matter how many times people tell me they feel so good afterward, or how much energy it gives them, or how fervently they assure me I'll grow to love it and need it. They're flat wrong. (And it doesn't matter how many times people try to tell me I just haven't had the right sushi at the right place or the right kind, I don't like sushi. Just like you hate Brussels sprouts or mustard or okra and no amount of convincing will work.) But I sit in an office all day and sometimes I suspect my ass is beginning to form to the shape of my chair. Thus, exercise is necessary if not enjoyable.

So last night I put on my tennis shoes and went out for a walk because no way I'm going to fail a mere three days into the month. And if you can't keep a promise to yourself, really, who can you trust?

I just went around the block and the street next to mine, and midway through I crossed paths with a woman out walking her dog. I saw the dog first -- fluffy and white and adorable, this tiny little cloudpuff of fur and I swear the dog smiled when I told her she was the prettiest thing. I was kneeling down, petting her and her whole body wagged. So it was a moment or two before I looked up and noticed the woman walking the dog was holding an enormous glass of red wine. I wondered if I had stumbled into a Tennessee Williams play.

She saw me notice the glass and waved it around a bit and said, "That's right! Tell all your friends you just met a woman who walks with wine!" and I thought to myself, My God! This is why I hate exercise! I have been doing it all wrong!

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Finally:

The best car on the road, a hot pink mustang with silver reflective mirrors, it was delicious like a piece of candy:

pinkmustang2.jpg

Driving photos are my specialty.

Posted by laurie at August 4, 2009 10:03 AM