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April 1, 2009

Wednesday list

1) I'm just going to start writing everything in list format. Perhaps one day I will write a fiction novel entirely in list format. It will be something scintillating like:

• The detective noticed a small packed suitcase sitting beside the front door.
• "Planning on taking a trip?" he asked
• "Always," she said.

I don't know why there is a detective or a packed bag or a mystery woman with one-line answers, but it sounded like an excellent bulleted way to begin. Just imagine the sex scenes in neatly numbered, perfectly indented lists!

2) Yesterday I walked around my house for twelve minutes with a post-it note stuck to my foot. When I realized it and made motions to rectify the matter, I discovered it was a note reminding me about my parents' dog's birthday. Which was last week, in case you were wondering and hoping to send a card.

3) There is a tumbleweed beneath the kitchen table that now has grown so large it has a gravitational pull and has attracted a stray hair elastic, a cat toy and a receipt from In-n-Out.

4) In full procrastination mode, I have knitted six sets of handwarmers and watched every single episode of CSI: New York on my computer using Netflix, which I fully and completely now understand, embrace and reverse my earlier refusal to adopt. I am not a person who cannot admit when they are wrong.

5) Furthermore, I have watched so much CSI that when I discovered a dead beetle on the back patio I wondered if it should be autopsied for toxic levels of radon and/or traces of a victim nearby and/or as a witness to a crime.

6) I had another one of those dreams where I'm going along in my life and a giant wave washes over me. Not unlike my recurring tidal wave dreams of yore, these dreams feature me in some normal daily life scenario on or near the water and all the sudden a huge wave rears up and slaps us all upside the head. In this one I was on a bus and we were on a bridge driving along all normal like (over the ocean?) and a huge rogue wave rises up and drenches the bus, and then I woke up.

7) I decided to drive into work today.

8) All I ate yesterday was funyuns.

Posted by laurie at April 1, 2009 10:13 AM