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January 28, 2009

You can skip the dream analysis portion. It won't hurt my feelings.

First, if you are an American Airlines AAdvantage member and you haven't signed up for Netflix, which as you all know I have not because so many damn people insisted I sign up now! immediately! that I decided I would never sign up, anyway. If you want to get 3,000 frequent flier miles, sign up for the $8.99 subscription and you can cancel after a month. If you hold on for three months you get an additional 500 AAdvantage miles. But this offer is only good if you sign up before January 31, so there's just a few days left.

I did grudgingly sign up for Netflix because 3500 miles is a good deal for an $8.99 subscription, plus apparently you can watch some movies on your computer. I don't have a Netflix lifestyle, meaning that if I miraculously happen to have a blank two-hour time slot for a movie and I have a hankering to watch something, it is rare and requires instant gratification. (See: The Bodyguard.) But I finally broke down and signed up for Netflix mostly for the miles and because they have a good documentary section, some that are hard to find through On Demand or at Blockbuster. We'll see. My movie queue is all stuff about mountain climbing and the Holocaust, go figure.

- - - -

New Jersey just arrived, and he announced to the whole office, "I officially hate Los Angeles."

He was stuck in traffic because the eastbound 10 is closed down from a wrong-way driver accident. Those happen more than you'd imagine, although I swear I'd never heard of anyone driving the wrong way on the freeway until I moved out here.

"But it's sunny outside," I said. "And it's going to be 78 degrees today. In January. That should make you happy."

"I just spent two hours driving twelve miles."

"Sunny! Warm!"

It's a hard sell.

- - - -

One of the most boring things you can ever do is tell people about your dreams. I once dated a guy who did this all the time and it was really snooze-inspiring. So I am not the least bit offended if you skip this next part and go get a coffee instead.

In my dream night before last I was at the market with my mom and my friend Corey and we were walking out of the store to my Jeep and also, I was carrying my cat Sobakowa. Because it makes so much sense in a dream.

So then I noticed one of the flaps on the Jeep's soft-top was loose so I handed Soba to my mom to hold onto while I snapped down the canvas top. But she put the cat down on the ground and the cat walked off a bit and then some random girl who was walking out of the market grabbed MY CAT and took her. So of course I hollered and took off running after her. I caught up to the girl and her friend and now they were both sort of standing in some kind of line (???) and so I walked up to her and she had the cat hidden under her shirt. She was really blonde, like almost platinum blonde, and she was wearing a big plaid long-sleeved shirt that I knew concealed my cat. So I confronted her.

"Give me my damn cat. NOW."

"I don't have your cat," she said.

So then I grabbed her hair and I guess I had some monster dream-enhanced vice grip because I really had a hold on her, so she let go of my cat and I picked up Soba and walked back to the Jeep except now we were getting on an airplane, one of those small prop planes, but on the inside it kind of looked like my parents' motorhome. The people in the dream had kind of changed, too, and as we left and flew over the countryside it was so pretty, I noticed all the green pastures and the beautiful blue ocean and there were horses, one of the horses was bright blue with a white mane (yesterday at lunchtime I told this dream to Corey, because I am exceptionally boring as a friend, and she said, "Oh my God! You dreamed about My Little Pony!" and she thought this was very funny. Which serves me right for boring anyone with my dreams.)

So the plane was gliding along and then the pilot, who was a woman, decided to set it down on the side of a mountain but there was a tunnel just ahead and it sheared off the wings. Which she didn't seem the least bit worried about until the road we were on, hugging the side of a mountain, began to spiral uphill instead of downhill. And I knew we were going to crash majestically so I had to plot my way out of the airplane because I had to -- get this -- save my cat Sobakowa, who was still in this neverending crazyass dream.

And that's when I woke up to my alarm clock and noticed that the Sobakowa was laying on me and I was petting her and she was staring at me. Like somehow she controlled my mind and made it into my dreams. And it kind of freaked me out.

The point is, I am starting to be a little afraid of the Tortie. She's manipulating my thoughts! And also maybe I shouldn't eat Mexican food before bedtime.

The end.


Posted by laurie at January 28, 2009 9:29 AM