what's a chicken bus?

also, loved this post. you are very wise.

Laurie, WHAT a good read!!!

You and I are peas in a pod. Seriously, total peas. If I am out with friends, I can have a good time for a while, but I cherish my alone time. I've never understood people who are on the phone 98% of the time and can't go a day without being with someone. Now I can say I'm an introvert instead of a crazy old cat lady (without a cat).

I also have lists all over the place! I have many notebooks with specific list purposes. I have a moving list in front of me as I type!

Ravelry totally counts as the epitome of knitting list-making, but I keep a "life to do" list online at 43things. http://www.43things.com/person/minou14

From a fellow introvert, Thank You for that great post! I've finally accepted that it's okay to be me, introvert and all. But, like you, it has been a long (and self-doubting) trip.

I am so proud of you; you have come so far emotionally in such a short period of time. Getting older is wonderful for the soul,isn't it?

I, too, am an introvert. I am loud, love to make people laugh and I'm always shooting off my mouth at inopportune moments. Despite that I have a deep need to be alone; it's when I do my best thinking and dreaming. Being alone helps me prepare myself for being around others. I would rather lay in bed reading a good book than going out ANYTIME. It's nice when I finally realized that there wasn't anything wrong me because I enjoyed my own company. I'm glad you've reached that point too, Laurie. I'm so happy for you, sweetie!

Did you write a lot during your marriage? I always find it so hard to write when I'm feeling terrible. I have to try harder; I'm sure that it helps so much more than just writing when your happy.

Oooh, I love lists, too. My best notepad is called: Things to do Tomorrow.

More hopeful? A dog waiting for a walk on a really wet and windy day!

(I'm just knitting away ignoring him.)

Another innie. Thanks for the wise words. I must investigate toilet paper origami!

I come from a list-making people... well, OK, my Mom is a Listmaker. I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing - she'll wake up at 2 am and start making lists of Things To Do. I prefer my listmaking to take place in daylight, normally-awake time.

I love your post, especially about moving from passenger to bus-driver mode. I think a list might help me do that more, practice that habit. I was just having a conversation about this the other day with El Boyfriend - he was giving me a well-meant verbal kick-in-the-pants to pursue things that make me happy. I was so surprised... not that he would say it, but just the saying it. Do people do things just to make themselves happy? Wow. Blew my mind a little.

Thank you for your post. I'm an introvert too, and for many years I've felt guilty about avoiding social events. The way you put it makes me feel a lot better. Also, lists are awesome. I feel you can't make too many. You're lucky to have that nice kitty to help you with them.

Laurie, this was a fun post. I adore making lists as well, & they keep me halfway sane. I think I will do the 101 Things list. Thanks for the link!

Laurie, this has been a sad day in a sad summer. Then I open your blog and there is Bob and I just melt! He is such a comfort! And I started thinking about "thinking about" going forward. And I immediately had (2) things to put on my list! Thanks so much for the blog. Happy Wednesday to you and Bob and Soba and Frankie!

Well said - nothing like a list to make you less listless!
Thanks for a good read.

Dear Kindred Spirit,

I too spent a lot of time thinking it was blasphemy to say that I would rather be at home under the covers with a great book instead of being drunk at a club with people I didn't like very much.
And I find lists the most calming thing when I get overwhelmed. As I kid my mom thought it was weird that I made lists all the time complete with little boxes to check off.

I xoxoxoxo lists. I have a list for everything. On my list of 101 in 1001 days:

Learn to weld.
Find the perfect closet system
Redo my website
Finish my garden

I could go on for 1001 days with this list... I think I'll start another list.

I too have finally accepted the fact that I am an introvert and will probably be that way the rest of my life. When my husband and I first became a couple, I used to beg him to go out, go for a walk around the mall, go see a movie, etc. He always replied "I'd rather stay home and watch TV. It doesn't matter what we do, as long as we do it together." Fast forward a few years and all he wants to do is hang out with his friend who I didn't really care for. I'd say "why not stay home with me. It doesn't matter what we do as long as we do it together." He'd tell me that any offer from them was better than sitting at home with me on the couch, even if the offer was just to come sit on THEIR couch. He also told me that I didn't fit it with them so it was better if he went alone. Needless to say, that relationship has now ended and you know what? I'm still most content when I'm home alone, with just my knitting and kitties to keep me company. I come home from work, feed the birds, water my plants and nestle in for a few hours worth of knitting. And I'm A-OK with it. Good for you Laurie for reminding us that not everyone has to be a social butterfly.

Laurie...thank you so much! I am also an introvert. I find a quiet evening alone to be MUCH more fulfilling than prettymuch any social occasion. Whenever I do attend social functions, I might enjoy myself for a short while, but I come home drained. I am in my 30s now and am just beginning to accept this. I have spent a lifetime listening to people telling me "you should go out more" and implying that I was defective in some way because I didn't meet their expectations. Thanks again for putting my thoughts into such eloquent words!

Hey! I'm doing the 101 things in 1001 days too! My start date is August 1. I'd say about 85% is stuff that I just want to give a whirl for the heck of it. The rest (whoo no math!) are things that really...I should be doing anyway (like ya know...finishing my half done thesis).

I'll be posting my 101 soon on my blog, but if you click over there now you can catch a glimpse of my kitty and his furless belly.

Another introvert! :) At the risk of sounding like some eerie internet stalker.... I see a lot of parallels between my life and yours. I've just recently realized I was working against my nature to be what I thought I *should* be. So hard to unlearn all that crap! I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog (I think I was googling for a knitting pattern).

Great book about being an introvert and reassuring you that it IS a normal personality type (contrary to what our extrovert counterparts would have us believe) - Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto, by Anneli Rufus. I live by it :-)

Introverts unite! And by unite I mean, of course, stay home with our books and our crafts and our pets and our TiVo while appreciating our peaceful surroundings secure in the knowledge that other introverts are at home doing likewise ;-)

KJ - who had to survive divorce from and EXTREMELY extroverted husband in order to come to the realization that there is NOTHING WRONG with being an introvert and being proud of it.

You know about 43things.com, right? It's where people keep lists of things they want to do, and you can see other people who are doing the same things, and what little bloglike entries they've made on those things. One of the most inspiring places in the world to go websurfing.

I'll take a look at the 101 things anyway. :D I love lists. And am an introvert. #1 is going to be designing and knitting my own Aran sweater from scratch.

Mmmmmm, veggie tempura!

I'm 50% extrovert and 50% introvert on most personality tests. But I don't usually feel 50/50, sometimes I feel 100% one way or the other! So I do know how you feel.

I'm doing the 101 Things and it has been a mixed bag so far. I've accomplished a few things on my list. I think what has been the *most* helpful result of doing this has been learning how unrealistic I can be when making lists and goals for myself. I'm learning to be a little more reasonable in formulating plans for myself. A lot of my goals have had to be modified.

Useful, if perhaps not in the way the project was originally intended.

Yay for introvertitude.

What a coincidence. I just posted my 101 things list on my blog last night. I, too, am an introvert and recharge by being alone. Since my youngest married three years ago and I don't work outside the home, I get plenty of alone time. I think that is why I now, for the first time in my life, actually enjoy getting out and doing things. I still prefer to do those things with just my husband or a few close friends, but I'm much more social than I've ever been before. I think it's all about balance.

I look forward to reading your list and you (and other readers) are welcome to check out mine. When I was writing mine I found it helpful and inspirational to read other people's lists.

Here's the link:
http://teawithdee.blogspot.com/2008/08/101-in-1001.html

I really relate to this post Laurie. I am such an introvert and I still sometimes get annoyed with myself and wish to be something I'm not.

Introverts rule!

My brother in law, who is channeling for Felix Ungar, keeps copious lists of everywhere he's been, who he was with and what everyone ordered for dinner. While the information is rarely needed again, his OCD Palm organizer lists have some in handy occasionally when someone's tried to recall the name of a restaurant or a casual acquaintance.

Anyone read "Twenty Wishes" by Debbie Macomber? Four widows make lists of things they want to learn, places to go, etc. to help cope with their grief. Instead of a knitting theme, they scrapbook to record their progress. Twenty seems like a more manageable number than 101 to me. I'd forgotten that I had intended to make a 20 list. Thanks for the reminder! Maybe I should put it on a List of Things To Do!

Hang your head out the door for a minute. Hear that "whooshing"? It's me, applauding wildly. (The sound goes all weird floating over, you know, flat things like Nebraska and bumpy things like mountains.) I'm not so much an introvert, but I NEED some time by myself. One of the DH's and my secrets of success are, we basically live alone...together. We enjoy doing stuff together but a few times a year he goes off for a couple of weeks and is blissfully sleeping on the ground somewhere - and I'm blissfully lying on the couch eating bacon-wrapped scallops from Trader Joe's and knitting. I must have a battery, because as much as I like gatherings I need to recharge now and then SOLO. Besides, I believe nothing is as regenerative or restorative than a cuppa tea, a good book, some knittin' and a dose of CAT. (OK, I admit it, I love my trash teevee too, usually in the form of something on MTV which cracks up my Lovely Daughter, but shut up, I can do whatever I want, I'm old.) See me holding up two cards for today's post: TEN and TEN.

Congratulations, Laurie! I believe I was born knowing I am an introvert and, better yet, CELEBRATING it. Be who you are! I'm a 43-year-old loner, INTJ (Meyers-Briggs; Google it sometime), and certified crazy cat lady. My husband is the same...well, except for the lady part...I've never been happier. Especially now that I can knit half a hat without dropping a million stitches.

I'm an introvert too! I love my friends. I love my family. Most days, most of all I love my quiet. Too many voices make my head feel "full" and I loose visual focus, it's horrible. I decompress in the quiet of my home, and lucky for me, my husband has started to realize he's the same way.

I'm also a list maker from way back. There is only one list and it's been going for YEARS. I'll probably die with stuff from the original list still on it. My list is in a little metal backed notebook, it helps me feel grounded and as if my attempts to list things help me feel like a normal person with attainable goals.

Listless! LOL Neither of us introverts-with-extrovert-slipcovers will EVER be list-less! Great post. Roy looks happy to be helping enumerate and quantify your dreams.

Laurie,

I'm an introvert too. And I was once put in a job position where I was expected to be an extrovert. I became physically ill as the days passed! It just doesn't work!!

I also cherish my alone time. And I'm a huge list maker. I even make lists of things that I do on a daily basis. I just like checking them off!

Linda in VA

Hey -- have you seen www.superviva.com? It's a site of life-list type things. You can make a "to do" list, a life goals list, an aspirational list, a concrete list, a pipe-dreams list. You can put items in the "done" column, or on the back burner. You can add specific steps necessary to complete each item, and can assign deadlines and level of commitment needed for each.

Check it out, if you haven't seen it yet. I think it's pretty cool.

By the way, I have no affiliation with the site other than that I happened across it one day in my web-wanderings, and have been having fun with it ever since.

It was only last year that I realized I was an introvert. I was so excited and ecstatic (in my introverted way) to learn that. I finally figured out why I just didn't have the energy to go out after work or do more than one activity on the weekends and why I craved my alone time. It was the first time I finally became comfortable in my own skin. I also learned to ask for my alone time instead of feeling guilty about it.

And I love lists too!

As an older (but no wiser) introvert I say enjoy your alone time--do what makes you feel good. So many women negate their needs and wants with lists full of stuff pertaining to husbands, kids, elderly parent's lives and no list for what they want. Give me a good book or a great movie on tv and a cat perched on back of the sofa and no one demanding my time and I'm a happy camper introvert. Laurie, you're a gem.

You should totally buy The Book of Lists, if you don't already own it.

okay, i googled chicken bus. interesting!

Very cool.

Thank you for this revised definition of being an introvert. I really need time alone to recharge.

And lists...oh, there's nothing that satisfies like crossing something off one of my lists!

Lists make my day manageable -- I get far more done when I know what I'm supposed to be doing (and doing next).

Your posts are always fantastic, but this post was particularly inspiring to me -- I'm currently trying to figure out "what I want" in life and how not to be defined by my job (which is kind of hard when you spend 9-10 hours a day there), and despite my total reliance on lists, never thought to make a list of what I want. So, thank you!

Introvert alert! Introvert alert! We'd come out of the woodwork if we thought everybody would just leave us alone!

Me too.

Hey, see if you can hunt down this book, and read it. Robert Rohm's Positive Personality Profiles. Talks about how folks are introverts or extroverts, and people oriented or task oriented. Up until I read that, I just couldn't figure some people out. Know, I just recognize certain personality traits, and see that they're not doing whatever it is just to drive me nuts, that's just the way they are. Also helps me, at least, to deal with people better, as I can say the same thing to 2 different people, and they'll take it 2 different ways, depending on how they are. Just in general a very enlightening book.

Plus, there's lists in there. And a quiz!

I would NEVER make it through my days without my lists. I absolutely love my little notepad I carry in my purse. It's got everything from lists of books I want to get, lists of postal rates, lists of which dishes I've ordered at my favorite Indian restaurant, lists of potential clubs for my DH's band to play....

I learned this skill from watching my mom, the teacher, making lists in her perfect slanted cursive teacher handwriting....and I am proud of it.

Thank you for this post! I've been feeling very blah about my life and unmotivated to really set out to do anything about it. I used to be a list-maker, so this really appeals to me as a way to start making some changes and some goals.

Another introverted listmaker here - the internet is the awesomest thing ever for reminding me that I'm not the only one (no matter what the topic is, I'm not the only person ever to whom it's applicable), and that things that make me happy and comfortable are ok.

Also, it is a lovely thing that you worked "listless" into a post about listmaking. :D

Has Soba shown you her list of 101 Things To Be In Charge Of In the Next 1001 Hours?

I, too, am basically an introvert, but my partner is an extrovert. This creates an interesting tension in our relationship. When he gets tired or in a bad mood, he wants to go out and do something like sing at a karaoke bar. To me this is insanity.

I'm afraid if I make a list like that and I don't do the things on it, I will just get depressed. So no lists for me.

Gotta' love a list!

I'm definitely on the introverted list, too. As an artist, being alone is a top priority for me. I don't even like for my husband to come into the studio when I'm working. All of my interests and hobbies (reading, knitting, quilting, etc.) are solitary endeavors as well. I've never mastered the multi-tasking ability to talk on the phone, watch tv and knit all at the same time. Not even gonna' try.

Being introverted, I'm terribly uncomfortable in social situations, avoiding them like the plague if at all possible. It took me awhile to resolve it, both for myself and because of pressure from family and friends, but I don't feel guilty about it anymore. I've also been fortunate to have finally created a business/job which allows me to work one-on-one with people, too.

Like you, I spent years trying to be something I'm not and only ended up suffering for it. Now, working with being introverted instead of against it, I'm a happier person, feeling more calm and more satisfied with my self and my life. Too bad we didn't learn the lesson years ago! Certainly would have saved ourselves a heck of a lot of grief and aggravation. Ah well, better a lesson learned late than not learned at all!

I used to get so very weary of hearing how I needed to get out more and meet people and stop holing up. I really enjoy being alone to read, pursue my solitary crafts, think, and whatever. I don't shut out the world, and I have an outside job, but I just do not feel the need to be out socializing every weekend and playing the balancing act that goes along with that. So, I get it, Laurie. And people will probably think you are a bit eccentric, but let 'em. INTROVERTS ROCK TOO!

Laurie, this has nothing to do with today's blog, but I have the paperback book of "the Pillars of the Earth." I will be finished with it in a week or two and can send it to you. You had mentioned a while back that it was on your list to read while on the bus. Email me if you want me to send it to you.

Hilarious! Why the hell are lists so satisfying? I totally get what you're saying. Weird, but true.

http://jerseygirlgenius.typepad.com/

I am SO on the same page with your introvert definition. I really have to have "my time" to re-energize and focus on projects or just life in general. Or, to just be. And, I find that in group situations I am usually listening to what others are saying, but not so much talking from my end. Which can prompt my "well meaning friends" to nag me to participate a bit more........what can I say: ;)

I am SO on the same page with your introvert definition. I really have to have "my time" to re-energize and focus on projects or just life in general. Or, to just be. And, I find that in group situations I am usually listening to what others are saying, but not so much talking from my end. Which can prompt my "well meaning friends" to nag me to participate a bit more........what can I say? ;)

Fellow introvert here. Acceptance is a MUST for introverts. You must take care of yourself and recharge your batteries.

Check out "The Introvert Advantage," by Marti Olsen Laney. It's a great book. It'll make you feel great about being introverted.

Introverts rule!

I'm a little introvert and a little extrovert. I've always been one who recharges with people (an exrovert), but I've been learning this summer that I really do like spending time by myself. I can understand your need to escape from people. I'm thinking it was the addition of a second child to our home that made me appreciate being alone... it's such a rare occurrence for me now!
Love lists... your post totally resonated with me! You've convinced me to do the 101 things list... and I'll put my first three here to hold myself accountable!
1. Learn to lay tile so I can tile my bathroom with this fabulous tile I saw in House and Home magazine
2. Get out of debt in the 1001 days it takes to complete the list by calculating how much I need to put towards paying it off and holding myself to doing it.
3. Write more. Write for pleasure, write in my journal, write for local publications. Just put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and see where it takes me.

Laurie! I got a new toy!! My dad just gave me his old iMac! It looks like yours! (too bad I dont have a really kewl looking desk like yours to put it on)

I think Bob looks better on the Mac screen than it does on my Toshiba laptop. Bob was very nice looking today. :)

My ex boyfriend just linked to this, which I found interesting: http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/introverts-extraverts/

I will be 47 this month and it is sooo amazing that the older I got, the smarter I got. I personally didn't have a brain in my head until I turned 36.
Thanks for the reminder, I do need to start making lists so maybe some things will get accomplished, and not just the things that have to get done, the things that will make me happy, too. Good thought, that.
BTW, Bob is looking particularly handsome today!

I thought I was the only person who ever used the phrase "chicken bus."

I have to agree with laurie(too). Looking at an unfinished list fills me with depression, despair, and self-loathing. It all started with a decades-old traumatic incident involving my overly optimistic then-fiance (now overly optimistic husband), an ambitious ten-item list, and one weekend to check off all the items. Sunday evening found us with one and a half things checked off. The only completed item was
FINDING A PLACE TO LIVE. If that had been the only item (which it should have been), I would have been ecstatic. As it was, my hubby was happy, and I was deeply disappointed. That scared me off lists forever. Oh, I'll use them when preparing for vacation or relocating, but that's about it. I've just gotten to the point of making general, mental lists. For example, I could write the overall steps I hope to take in the next phase of meadow restoration/landscaping, but I won't. Some people suggest skipping the to-do list and making a tah-dah! list of things you've done AFTER you've done them. I'm even afraid of that, fearing its probable shortness. Oddly enough, I do enjoy reading the lists of other people, just as I enjoy fiction of any type. All in all, my life is reasonably orderly and organized despite (or due to) my list-phobia. Different strokes, different folks.

Great idea, and you make me feel so much better about my introversion!

Great cat photos just recently, and I love the cover Frankie was lying on in a previous post

I love this idea (101/1001) beyond measure, because I am a frequent goal-setter and I always feel a little let down when I don't quite make it. I'm going to give it a try. 1 thing to definitely go on the list are: organize ALL personal papers and keep them that way.

My list:

1) find old list

I read your post at the end of a long frustrating day. I've been agonizing about a relationship that isn't giving me what I need and here you go and remind me that, hey, I LIKE being alone. I'll figure out a way to get what I need for myself. Thank you, oh wise young woman!

I can totally relate! Love, love, love staying home. Sometimes I just take a vacation day to stay home myself since my hubbie and son (2 dogs and a cat)are usually there. And lists. . .love them. I also LOVE to buy the little books to put the lists into. There are so many cute journal type booklets, big and small!

Hi -

Finally, an EXACT 1-line description of introversion! Loud, noisy, crowded places drain my energy.

I love going out with 2 or 3 friends, and having animated, even loud conversations, talking over one another, if it's a topic that excites us. But eventually we calm down, and everybody gets a turn. And we're in a venue - usually Denny's - where we can actually hear each other. There's nothing more exhausting than being somewhere really loud and crowded, and trying to yell a conversation with somebody you have nothing to really say to in the 1st place. But a 1-on-1 discussion with somebody - that can be great.

For those who find list-making discouraging, and who have difficulty finishing projects, check out Barbara Sher's "Refuse to Choose!". It's about being what she calls a "scanner" (no relation to the schlocky sci-fi movie). One of her best suggestions is what she calls a DaVinci notebook - much more satisfying than a simple cross-off list. There's more info, and lots of forums, at Barbarasher.com .

On the sweating thing: I read an article recently about the use of Botox to control the sweat glands in the armpits. Aparently, it works like a charm because it paralyses the nerves that control them, switching them off.

- Pam