Please don't wish for winter. I like the weather just the way it is now--not too hot during the day and need a blanket at night.

Of course, I'm not in the Valley, but I can see it.

Laurie - what if that is how models actually look and all this time They have been doctoring photos to make them look like normal people, only gorgeous and thin?

hmmm...I really like this idea. I always knew models were freaks. Now we have photographic evidence.

Also - Second!!

It depends what you mean by winter. If you mean your winter, wherein it's 55 degrees out and rains occasionally, then yeah, you'll probably get there in a few months.

If you mean my winter, wherein it's 12 degrees out and it takes five hours to get home from work in a #$($)#&$ snowstorm (all right, that happened only once, but still), then you don't know what you're missing. Come visit!

I second your call for models with normal bodies, by which I mean models who weigh over 37 pounds. I suppose shorter arms might be good too.

How are these flattering pictures?! When my kids schlumped around like that I was always yelling at them to stand up straight!

If you ever try to knit some armwarmers, might I suggest the "Fetching" pattern on knitty.com? (Free! Easy! Beautiful!) I am not the world's best knitter (by any stretch of the imagination), but I have cranked out 3 or 4 pairs of these puppies. They are WONDERFUL! Enough coverage on the hands and fingers to keep you warm (when it dips down below boiling in the valley, ha! I'm from Canada, so I have no idea what balmy weather is...), but enough openness to preserve your dexterity and such. I love them!

And PS: I have never seen a photo shoot quite like that. "Do the Monster Mash with your giant monster arms!!" RAWR!

Her arms obviously got stretched carrying that heavy suitcase/handbag. Wonder what she's hiding in there besides the kitchen sink? Years (decades) ago runway models had beautiful classy walking styles - they glided elegantly on air. Now they walk like slouchy, drunken lumberjacks in heels - sloppy. It's distracting & I don't see the appeal. Still photo postures aren't any better, as per your evidence. Well, at least Bloomie's is featuring knits!

(Glad you recovered your book this morning!)

I live in Denver. We could get snow in a couple of weeks (seriously), so please don't rush it. I need to piece together the GORGEOUS turtleneck (or mock turtle, whichever I decide) I started LAST winter.

As for arm warmers--see my previous comment. My kiddo will love them, but I need TIME to make them!

LOL Mothership - that is what I call Sephora

I have to say that I, too, cannot wait for the SoCal version of winter. I am in San Diego so I suppose that anything below 50 is just crazy thought?

And a shout out to Janice in the above post! You are dead on with the "slouchy drunken lumberjack." And don't they all look soooooo happy! Maybe they just need a big cup of coffee to perk them up? And maybe some food?

Why do companies always have their models stand as if they are made of putty? For heaven's sake, somebody tell them to stand up straight!

*sigh*

If I ever tried to stand around like that, my mother would have whaled me good . . . :-)

Those photographs are just grotesque. What was that photographer thinking?

Just after 9 am and it is already hot in the Conejo Valley. I need to turn on the AC. And school starts next week for the kids. Ugh. If the model would eat a full meal and get some sleep and put down that moving van she is carrying, she might stand up straight. Who do you suppose told her to stand like that? The photographer? An ad agency exec? It couldn't possible have been her idea.

Actually, it's been winter all through August in my part of England - until today. The sun came out, people were sitting out in it - it could almost have been summer. So I could have done with those hand and arm warmers weeks ago!

Please no winter! I'm hoping for a bit more global warming in Chicago to hold off on the -30 windchill for as long as possible.

I love those pictures. Anything that makes skinny girls look like mutants are wonderful in my book.

That is hysterical!

"Mothership" ha! Mine is Amazon, because I don't like to leave the house to shop.

It is never winter in LA, silly. I know this because I grew up in southern California and then moved to the frigid lands we call Boston. And I really want to move back, because I like fake winter like in California, not real winter with snow and chapped skin like here. But I still wear arm warmers in CA because everyone finds them so unique and fascinating: "Oooh, winter wear! So rare!"

Ummm, winter in LA? Doesn't that mean rain? Wool and rain don't mix. In Vermont, we get 9 months of winter, and 3 months of hard sledding.

Ohh... the burden of my massive knits... weighing down my toothpick-like but oddly proportioned body ... sooo heavy .... must ... collapse.

I can't stop laughing!

I'm currently playing a game called The Battle of Wethnot. It features an army of the Dead (or of the undead? I don't know, whatever.) anyway, the Zombies look just like those models! Cool, huh?

I know what's wrong with those models, they are fainting from hunger!!

I think they're just SO TALL that they have to slouch to fit on the page?

But yeah, my grammy would be horrified to see that posture.

Call an endocrinologist and a neurosurgeon, I think she has a pituitary tumor.

Oh, how I wish that you could do your winter knitting year-round, like some of us...

Popeye Arms. Very attractive.

Wow, what a great excuse to put my many (already delayed) projects on a (farther back) back burner and knit some arm warmers! Because everyone knows knitting warm woolen arm warmers is the thing to do during August in South Carolina.

P.S. Note to models: You were blessed a body someone will pay you to photograph, so stand up straight!!

"Clary, you are too twisted for color TV...."

Laurie, you freakin' crack me up!!!

am i the only one that sees those arm warmers and goes "damn you bloomies for charging $100 for something i should be charging $100 for!"

although no one would buy them from me for that price. because my name is not bloomes.

love both the arm warmers and the scarf, though.

Those aren't arm warmers, they're covers for all of us who have to wear carpal tunnel braces. They are computer armitis cover ups. You can also use them for cleaning your computer screen, desk, and all around dusting.

I noticed the same posture thing in this month's Vogue. How is it that slack-jawed, slatterns in the new in thing?

Oh, please send that second one to the photoshopdisasters blog!

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/

Those pictures terrify me! I thought at first it was the angle in which you took the photo, but apparently it was not. Whoever was responsible for this was obviously on something at the time.

That
Is
Funny.

I am a displaced Illinois girl, myself, and no, it will never be winter in southern/central California. Not really. Enjoy!!

1) That is my posture when I wake up in the morning and realize that I have to clean the litterboxes YET AGAIN. Sigh.
2) Um, gigantor arms. Freaky.
3) Winter - keep it in CA, I don't want any here in Jersey.

Oh yeah' it'll be February in no time and when we get that 3 weeks of cooler weather and maybe even a rainy day or too in April! you can totally wear them then!

I have a great handwarmer pattern exactly like the photos!

Check out www.lostarts.biz

I just thought she had been in a horrible accident resulting in deformed posture, and the gray things were covering the casts on her arms. Could be wrong...

You make me laugh. Thats not easy to do.

Jill in Florida (Wet in Floirda)

I think it's the heat from wearing giant arm warmers and big woolen scarves that is making her slump over. She looks like she might be starting to melt...

I'm laughing so hard....you're hilarious!!

It looks like the arm warmers are pulling her forward!!

Yes, winter please come SOON!!!

Signed,

Melting in Scottsdale (currently 102 degrees outside)

Yes, it'll be winter soon enough and then we'll all be complaining about cold feet and hands.

You don't get Winter in the Valley do you? Really?!

Dear U.S. Olympic Committee,

When Misty May and Kerry Walsh retire from beach volleyball to have babies, please recruit this model. Imagine her reach over the net.

Yours,
A concerned citizen

My goodness. What is that scarf knit from? Lead?

Oh my goodness, those poor, poor undernorished girls. Now they don't even have the strength to stand up straight and glare at the camera!

It's ragdoll chic.

Just adding that yes, I do know that undernourished is spelled with a "u"

uh uh uh UGLY!

She looks like she could touch her knees without having to bend down, or slouch anymore than she already is!

Rarr! I will attack you with my monstrous arms except NO COFFEE! Can't stand up straight, can barely hold this monstrous bag up...
It almost gets to be winter in winter here in Silly valley. One can wear a woollen jumper (sweater) for several days. It even rains for three days in a row, in winter...

re: August 20th blog, Wonderful rogue waves! Here's a very nerdy read for those who might like more about rogue waves... a book called Adlard Coles' Heavy Weather Sailing, by Peter Bruce, International Marine Publishing 1999. It's quite heavy in many places but full of harrowing sea tales. This is an excellent read right before bed when you're hoping to sleep but not really!

I kind of love that paisley dress. It would look terrible on me but I love it. I love fall colors.

Are you really going to make the arm warmers? Does it get that cold in the valley?

I think they begin the photo shoot standing up straight, but by the time the photographer is done adjusting the camera they've lost the will to live.

um ... I would love to know more about that bag --- guess I'll have to check MY local Bloomie's aka the REAL mothership ;-)

Oh my God, that is just hideousness! I miss the days of the "Super Models". Also, don't rush winter on me yet....I live in Colorado Springs, and it was so cold and rainy last weekend I actually had to put on a sweater! But now it's back to normal August weather. You need to get the book Hats Gloves Scarves by Louisa Harding. It has a very simple mitten pattern in there plus a great pattern for fingerless gloves that I'm sure you could turn into arm warmers.

I am so ready for arm/hand warmers. Fall came early here (August... 81 degree highs??? In Kansas??) but I just started a new job and it's winter in my office. It's hard to type when your hands get too cold.

You know.. I live in NH, I suffer from low blood pressure and in irregular heart thing that makes me always cold... Why haven't *I* made arm warmers?

When I was in journalism school, all of us photogs had a term for photos like that:

BAD USE WIDE ANGLE! BAD USE WIDE ANGLE!

har har, can you imagine how ginormous her FEET would have looked if she had been wearing knit socks or legwarmers she had to show off? gargantua mcHugerson!

Oh My Good Gravy! Thank You, Lord...I've just started knitting again and arm/hand warmers will be SO much easier than that whole mitten/glove bs. Actually I am relieved to such an extent to be silly about it. I've signed up for some knitting lessons so that maybe I'll learn more than the knit, purl, yo that I know now. I currently have enough knitted scarves for all the women in my family to have a selection and now I'm starting to knit scarves for the men. I need to move on to something new, but the only other thing I know is how to knit dishcloth. I'm not sure, but think the 3 for $1 I get at the store are better quality even if I did get the cotton yarn on sale for twenty two cents. This would make a pretty good post. hmm...

I don't get it.Is it me? I thought the whole idea of advertising was to make you want to look like the model. Be "cool" and with the "in crowd".We all know women don't dress to impress men, we dress to impress other women. Cause really now, what man would actually go for that look?? Why don't the models try to look like actual real people?
On the other hand, we are commenting about the ads, are we not?
Ramble on!

So, when I read comments like "I couldn't stop laughing at this post", I usually think, yes, it was amusing, but not really that funny. Well, I admit it.

I couldn't stop laughing at this post.

Obviously they are now using zombies for models. They do as they're told, can stand still for hours, and don't have to be paid.

Arm warmers -- YES! Up here in Portland, the gas company wants a 40% rate increase and the electric company wants 25% more. Arm warmers, leg warmers, big, thick sweaters... They all seem so very attractive all of a sudden.

Obviously they are now using zombies for models. They do as they're told, can stand still for hours, and don't have to be paid.

Arm warmers -- YES! Up here in Portland, the gas company wants a 40% rate increase and the electric company wants 25% more. Arm warmers, leg warmers, big, thick sweaters... They all seem so very attractive all of a sudden.

(And why did my post come out as being from twinstetellen? That's just weird!)

Maybe if they put some food in their freakishly thin bodies, they'd have the strength to stand up straight!

Somebody get that poor child a sandwich!

Wow, the model seems to have bones of wet spaghetti! However, the arm warmers are quite appealing...knit, knit, knit here I come for the winter. :)

I cain't stop laughin. You're killing me.

What is with the freakishly long fingers. I hope nobody has to knit her some gloves, they'd need a whole skein just for the fingers! Poor girl. Probably a nice girl, just supersized in a bad way!

oh my gosh I had the same thought when i scrolled down "what that model has freakish arms?!"

With arms like that maybe she should be doing beach volleyball. She could be 5'2" and still reach to 8 feet in the air without jumping!

I think they've airbrushed out the puppet strings... just think of the Thunderbirds-style fun...

Winter - please, no! I'm still waiting for summer here in the UK!!

Will it be winter again? It was 38 at my house in Montana this morning...

Sheesh! I hate the "broken doll" look, esPECIALly when it's a broken MONSTER doll. It really bugs me, too, to see young women standing around in these ridiculous and unflattering postures while waiting for their bus, coffee, library book, or whatever. Of course, I had a fourth-grade teacher who would rap one on the knuckles with a ruler and then put said ruler down one's shirt-back to stop one from slumping. Lemme tell ya, it worked! I've got OK posture to this day!

Scary. As if the yarn had some kind of biochemical property that rendered it's wearer to become weak and flaccid. No willy warmers with this yarn. no ma'am!

Holy hell, that second picture is insane.

At first I thought you had taken pictures of the pictures from an odd angle after too many glasses of wine, but then, imagine my surprise! The "real" photographers did that!

Thank you so much for the great laugh!!! Just think how much time and money they spent on those ads!

I'm just sort of freaked out by her freakishly long arms.

Please keep blogging! You are the best. I love how your brain works. What an incredible memory for detail or do you do research? Seriously!

That poor girl should be wearing leg warmers. Arm warmers just draw attention to her freaky parts.

I think she's just too damn skinny and weak from malnutrition to stand up straight! Not attractive advertising.

It just looks like she had to bend her head to keep on the page. Because she's monstrously tall, and too woozily undernourished to realize that they could size the picture appropriately. I would probably put my head like that, too, if a photographer was coming at me like that guy must have been. And did they list the price of the armwarmers? Because I'm thinking "made in India" but I bet they're priced like "cashmere hand-harvested by virgins, hand-spun by Rumplestiltskin and imported from the moon." But maybe that's just my impression of most "looks like quickie hand-knit" stuff. Ok by me - makes my gifts fashionable!

Oh My God! I laughed out loud so hard. My kids thought I was nuts. Even more so after I tried to explain.

You are hilarious! Thanks for this mornings belly laugh.

Oh my, those are, um, interesting photos. I'm not sure what camera or lens was used for that but whoever thought it would be appealing should be made to pose like that and have their faces splashed all over the place!

Ya gotta feel for the poor model. She probably spent a bundle on modeling school or lessons, and suffered to get rail-thin, and learn to do the runway glide with a book on her head. Not to mention that Red Carpet pose, with the 3/4 turn to the camera, hand on hip, one foot extended, chin up, SMILE!

Then she gets to this big photo shoot, and what does the photographer say? "Not so sexy - you look too tall - SCHLUMP - GIMME MORE SCHLUMP!!"

Not to be confused with "Gimme more cowbell!"

I can't promise for California, but for Colorado the winter will definately be back again. Probably in the form of a mid-October freak snow storm.

I'm sorry I missed your road trip blog yesterday and was unable to comment there but I felt compelled to mention how cool I thought it was that you wrote a story involving Mr. X and you didn't take one potshot at him. Not.A.One. Good for you! :)

They have slumpy posture from all the H they had to do to stay skinny. Aparently they're cold too. Yay, designer knits.

I'd freaking sue Bloomingdale's for letting me look that bad. Sue the photographer too for good measure. Who hired these people?