Too damned funny. YES sleep with one eye open!

I live in a condo complex with a bunch of retired ladies. They're so funny, but I don't think any of them have interesting houses like that. They're all neat as a pin formal living room kind of houses. I almost don't want to move to a house because I'll miss all the ladies. It's like having a bunch of moms all really close. Oooo, and they drink!

The best way to use up zucchini is to turn it into chocolate zucchini cake! Yes it is chocolate, but it has veggies in it, so it is therefore healthy.

You *might* like grilled zuccini. I'm not a squash person one bit, but sliced lengthwise and tossed with some olive oil and lemon, then grilled, and they are delicious!

Just an idea... good luck with the zuccini.

Virginia

I think maybe you should put the fear of Soba into the Zukes.

Nope, not a recessive gene, they cross pollinated with something - watermelon or your pumpkins.

I had cuke's last year that were shaped like apples, they cross pollinated with the winter squash. Tasted fine, and were perfect for putting on a bun with a sandwich. I should have patented them!

Mutant WaterSquash. LOL!!!

I hope someone out here recognizes that mutant squash AS something. It looks almost familiar -- like I've seen it in the Asian supermarket. I was half expecting Mrs. Lee to know what it was. If it is some genetic zucchini throwback--well,that's just fascinating to me.

Oh, and Mrs. Lee sounds just wonderful. I'm jealous.

I love the zucchini - you can send 'em my way ;) Also - pineapple zucchini bread is amazing....zucchini bread in general is amazing .. doesn't taste squash like at all. Hey - when life hands you lemons make lemonade..or in this case, when Nature hands you zucchini make baked goods!

OK, at this point it has to be karma. You were once very kind and loving to a zucchini plant; its descendents are eternally grateful and swore to provide you with ample squashes forever. Dig out all those recipes again - and you know, take a box of the lovelies to your LYS or some likely spot with a sign saying "Organic! FREE!" (I hear "organic" is very big in California.) Keep 'em in a back corner of their own (near Mrs Lee's yard?) Find a food bank, they'll be glad for them, and that's a mitzvah (although that may get you more Good Zucchini Karma - just sayin'). And boy do I wish I were closer on account of, I DO love me some zucchini. I'm the cup-of-bread-crumbs, two-eggs, and four-pounds-of-parmesan school. And you know what? Last year I had to BUY my zucchini! Hardly seems fair, does it?

Having killed just about every living thing I've ever planted, I decided to temp fate once more this year and plant a few things. My flowers are doing nicely - there are geraniums, hostas, clematis, moon flowers, verbenia and begonias. I threw caution to the wind and bought 2 (yes 2!) whole tomato plants. One looked pitiful from the start. The other one held on for a while until the cutworms got into it. On the other hand, I am now growing lovely bunches of sunflowers thanks to my resident chipmunk Alvin, who as best as I can tell, is skeered of starving to death this winter. He makes fortyeleven runs to the bird feeders everyday with his little chipmunky cheeks full-to-bustin' and buries them all throughout my yard. He's a hoot to watch. By the way, does anyone on here now how to "sucker" a tomato plant so that it grows more bushy and less of a spire?

I agree with Deb - Chocolate Zucchini Cake is wonderful. If you don't have a recipe I posted mine on my blog. My 4 year old knows it has zucchini in it and still likes it. :-)

I apparantly can't make a live link but here is a short url for the recipe: http://tinyurl.com/5wvlp2

*cackles* Oh that is WONDERFUL!! But definitely sleep with one eye open. My planting this year is limited to shade plants in the planter on the path to my hidden studio apartment. I'm thinking begonias and impatiens, but I've always liked hostas.... decisions, decisions!!

I can't decide if this is good or bad karma coming to you. Do the Zuke gods love you and want to keep you in good supply....or do they want to hurt you? Yes, please sleep with one eye open and with Soba guarding you.
And start trying out zucchini wine recipes. If you can't beat them, join them. For your own safety.

Good luck with your gardening. I think the watering with ours will go better now that we have a hose and do not have to haul water from the house. We just began our garden about a week ago. The trailer next door was hauled off, so we are taking over that lot.

I laughed 'til I wheezed. You definitely have some Zucchini Karma going, but the way they're stalking you, I wouldn't bet that it's good Karma. Maybe in a past life you killed off a whole field of zucchini plants, and now you're destined to raise Scary, Mutant Zucchini until you've worked off the debt.

maybe Mrs. Lee would water your lovelies each morning -- maybe she's "hinting" at that?

jeez. i thought that might be a baby watermelon!

Come on girl! You are a Southerner! Don't you have anyone at your office with whom it is somewhat challenging to work? You could give them a little zucchini plant as a surprise present! Put it in a little clay pot with a little bow and leave it on the person's desk. (Mystery-gifting with live zucchini is like saying, "Bless your heart" with plants! Hmmm...maybe your target should be a non-Southerner.)

Honestly I am a little afraid for you, thinking about 6 zucchini plants running amok in your garden.

And about Mrs Lee -- maybe you could ask her to water your plants for you during the day. I know you might feel funny asking though.

This is impressive! I am trying to grow catnip for my cats--I was so excited when I got a few little shoots.

Just think how many zucchini you'll get from SIX plants! Bwaahaahaa.

Justin is right when he states, "Nope, not a recessive gene, they cross pollinated with something - watermelon or your pumpkins." We had some *funky* looking squash last year that we think was a combination of zucchini, acorn squash, and pumpkin. It looked good on my steps last Halloween but I couldn't work up the courage to actually eat it. How'd we do it? Dumped everything in the compost pile and then let the mutant plant grow on the side of the mound.

Wow! If those zuchini plant survive, you are going to be up to your armpits in zuchini!!! It'll be like Bubba with shrimp uses in the movie Forest Gump!! Zuchini sandwich, zuchini pie, zuchini bread, zuchini blahblahblahblahblah.... Good luck - LOL

you should totally guilt mrs. lee into watering for you, twice a day.
you can thank her with a bounty of zucchini bread.

Im just wondering where in Europe I can get free college education, six weeks of paid vacation, low crime, and clean, efficient (or any) mass transit?
Because we have none of that in England.
I'm also wondering when we (Europeans) are going to stand up and actually do something about all these price increases that are just crippling us all, instead of just accepting them.

But my real point here was: How do your zuchinnis survive all day? Its been in the 80s here the last 3 days and my squash has been all shrivelled up out in the sun :(

i just got back from the amalfi coast in italy and they had cheese stuffed zucchini flowers everywhere!

they're amazing, i even want to learn to make them. and i don't, as a rule, cook.

maybe you can make some of these before you get overrun with zucchinis.

I love neighbors like Mrs. Lee! I would be sure to inundate her with your excess zucchini bounty this year! Or, become the Zucchini Burglar and sneak around the neighborhood at night, depositing bags of zucchini on unsuspecting doorknobs. With food prices the way they are, I know I'd love to find random veggies hanging on my door when I woke up! =)

I'm with MiniPurl...maybe Mrs. Lee could volunteer her time and help you out with the watering, especially since she cares so deeply about it :)

The whole "stalked by zukes" thing is just too hilarious. Best watch your back! If you don't post for a few days, we'll know they are holding you hostage and we'll send in the Marines to rescue you!!!

Sidenote to Anne-Marie,

You can get everything but the free college thingie in Switzerland. Super-clean mass transit, extremely low crime, great vacation policies, and excellent family leave policies. Of course the cost of living is insanely high there...I was assigned to a project there for six months, and I would go back in a heartbeat (if I could get my company to give me a really big per diem).

OMG you are too too funny.
Apparently your lot in life is to grow zukes...lots of zukes.
You should go get that thing from the garbage bin and cut it open-find out what it really is!

Hey, maybe you can ask Mrs. Lee if she wouldn't mind coming over to your house in the daytime to water your garden while you're at work!

Oh man, how sweet. And how defeating! Time to look into the Plant a Row campaign...

Anne-Marie, please note I said "SOME European nations" ... not all.

Also that topic has been closed because believe me I got the memo that some European readers think it's self-centered and whiny of me to worry aloud about energy prices or the economy or anything at all. And those with higher fuel prices are the only ones allowed to say out loud that their gas prices are painful. I got the memo.

However, because this is my personal diary, I sometimes just say what is on my mind. And energy prices rising 25% in ten months time was on my mind that day. And saying it's worse in Europe just wasn't a very productive way to think through the issue FOR ME PERSONALLY. Obviously I hit a nerve or simply didn't explain it well because I got a pile of nasty email from European and Australian readers, mostly from the UK, letting me know in no uncertain terms that I am selfish, ignorant and just an asshole. If I seem a little defensive in this comment I assure you it's not you it's the people who didn't comment but emailed all their delightful thoughts on me instead. (Because the solution to the oil crisis is apparently to write poison pen letters to women who have three cats. There should be a Hallmark card for it!)

What I was trying to say -- however poorly -- on that day was that the "oh it could be worse" method of dealing with a troubling issue is not my favorite. It feels like invalidation. It feels like saying "if someone else is on fire, I guess it's ok for me to be just smoldering."

I was trying to express, however flawed my logic, that comparing the US to Europe was not a good comparison IN MY PERSONAL OPINION because they are vastly different. England is 50,000 square miles in size, just a little bigger than Kentucky! I have driven from Denmark to Poland in less time than it took me to get from my house to San Francisco. Comparing the US and Europe is a comparison that doesn't make sense TO ME. Just ME, I am not a politician, an entity, a corporation or an asshole. I'm just a woman living alone and making ends meet.

- - -

Now, let's move on.

I will delete any other comments addressing the issue on this thread. That discussion is over.

I do appreciate the input but it's just unproductive for people I don't know to tell me I'm wrong to have an emotion or a personal feeling about a thing. Feel free to argue with other people about the services offered in other nations, frankly it's the same argument I refuse to participate in here in the U.S.!

I obviously didn't explain myself well in that post but I am imperfect, flawed and sometimes just downright human. It is now time for us all to move forward and stop pointing out how flawed I am in my thoughts on this issue as trust me, I ALREADY KNOW. We can now start pointing out how flawed I am as a gardener, a knitter and a cook. Those things are way more entertaining.

While I certainly don't mean to pick on one person (sorry, Anne-Marie!) I'm just a little exhausted by people telling me I'm an ignorant jerk because I expressed concern about the economy and prices in my town.

Thanks so much.

Let the zukes grow....and then deep fry those suckers when they're ready! Otherwise you can let them grow in to gargantuan fruits, slice them into rounds, fling them in the air and have a skeet shooting contest.

OK - can someone please tell me how you can tell the difference between a zuke and a cuke?

Last summer, mom told me to pick up a cucumber at the store for salad. As I got back to the car, trusty produce in hand, I realized I might have actually picked up a zuchini.

So when I got home, I explained my concern to mum and said, "So how do you tell the difference at the store?"

She said its real easy - you pick it up, turn it over, look at the outside AND THEN READ THE DAMN SIGN ABOVE IT.

sigh. Mums. No so funny.

By the way, it was much more fun getting nasty email from people telling me I need Alcoholics Anonymous. I always wanted to move to Europe one day. Now I suspect I will be turned away at all borders for one lousy post about my worries.

Are you sure that ISN'T a little watermelon? When I saw the picture I thought for sure it was! Did you open it to see what the innards look like? Inquiring minds want to know!

That's so cute! She wants you to be a zucchini goddess!

The thing is that what the several squash varieties (zucchini, pumpkin, et al) among them is best not talked about in mixed company or anyplace but behind closed doors, under the bedsheets, and with a flashlight.

Or, more bluntly, they're only too happy to hybridize--that's not recessive genes talking, that's two dominants being mutually expressive, which Mendel never quite knew what to do with. ;)

What you have there looks like a zucchini/kabocha cross, given the shape, history, splotches, and avid Asian gardener neighbor (kabocha are all the best parts of pumpkins in a petite green splotchy package--YUM!) but I might be wrong. Any squash in the neighborhood could be the babydaddy...I mean pollen donor.

As for Mrs Lee--if she's that concerned, you might ask her to come over and water your garden once in awhile, although I hesitate to mention it to you in a drought year, because, well, it's water.

-- Lorrie

How sweet of her to think of you. too bad it was in the zuke realm.

I'm Sorry. Maybe these wont be as prolific. ( Keeping fingers crossed)

But put me down for a round of zuc for i loves me a good chocolate zucchini cake with cream cheese frosting. yummmmmy!

Now THAT is a great story.
LOL!!!

good luck...

LOL Too funny!
How about some Lemon Zucchini Cookies;
http://www.mrfood.com/recipe_detail.aspx?item_guid=27320046-4ad3-4460-87a5-76c662d24b84

OMG! ROFL! Too funny!
.

I think I might water the new zukes with saltwater. Though it does seem a little unkind...

What you need here is a recipe for CrockPot Zucchini Bread. Time to rally the troops. It could be the "Crazy Aunt Purl No Time To Cook Zucchini Recipe Contest". Winners chosen at random. First prize gets the bounty of zucchini your garden produces, runner up gets all the zucchini plants from your yard. Transportation not provided.

I can't believe she brought you more plants! I have to say, though, that I like the idea of the one commenter that said to donate them to the local food bank.

Gotta love that Mrs. Lee.

My favorite vendor at my local farmers market sold zucchinis that looked just like that last year, she called them "roly polys". They were delicious.

For a quick veggie, I like to take diced zucchini, steam them in the microwave for 4 minutes or so, then mix them with a drained can of diced tomatoes and dump them in a casserole dish. I top them with a combination of dry bread crumbs, romano cheese, and a little butter all mashed together with a fork. Bake it in the oven until the crumbs are brown and the whole thing's hot. Even my husband will eat this one, and you can vary the amounts based on your dietary preferences.

If you have caboodles of squashii again this year, ever thought about donating them to a local food bank?

I really like the food bank idea - NPR keeps talking about the increase in hunger since food prices keep going up but no one is contributing to food banks because all our money goes for fuel.

If you need another wacky zucchini recipe, I have one at home for fried zucchini cakes - I know they have bisquick and garlic in them - and they are very good. I'll dig it out if you really want me to.

Ok, that is hilarious!

Wow, that's so cool! You made mutant hybridized squash. Got any idea how they taste? =)

Yum - Zucchini Bread!! With raisins and walnuts!!

You must know at least 4 other folks you can bless with some of those plants!

OMG. That post Cracked me Right Up.
Have fun with all your zucchini!!! Hee!

(clearly the Universe has a sense of humor.)

AWwww, I want a neighbor like Mrs. Lee. ;-)

Kudos on your pumpkin blossom. Very nice!

This year, I'm growing only flowers, and so far, so good. No dead ones yet.

I would love to grow pumpkins, but I've no space for them. So I'll live vicariously through your gardening pictures.

Zucchini smoothies!!

(and am I the only one that is starting to think that the word "zucchini" looks really strange after seeing it so many times?)

SIX? You are so in trouble. Pinch them off at the blossom stage and put them in your salads. Don't let them get Godzilla size.

Los Angeles Regional Foodbank only accepts dry, shelf-stable, refrigerated and frozen food items. Most foodbanks have this same policy -- you need to call beforehand because you may be surprised how hard it is to get rid of a zucchini crop.

I really don't like zucchine at all but these are delicious.

http://beyondsalmon.blogspot.com/2007/04/zucchini-pancakes.html

The clutter gods, upset with your declaration that you won't buy stuff this year, have whispered into Mrs. Lee's ear, "if she won't fill her house with Clutter, we'll fill it with Zukes!" I can hear their gleeful chuckles from here.

Another option for the excess zucchini might be animal facilities, especially wildlife rehabilitators or small zoos. They usually have high food budgets and low income, and the critters aren't fussy. I helped at a rehab facility for awhile that got donations from grocery stores of unsaleable produce. Little went to waste, though we occasionally had to chase away wild woodchucks who helped themselves when we received fresh deliveries!

Did you cut it open to see if it was mutated inside too? Are you sure it was a zucchini? It kinda looks like it could be a baby watermelon...

As someone above said, the squashes like to mix - if you start them from packaged seed, you're fine, but they're hard to save seed from because of this - you never know who was getting friendly with who. (Or whom, I can never remember that) Your zucchini might have been getting cozy last year with a pumpkin, or a delicata. The sad part is that the squashes aren't even getting to have the fun part, it's the bees that are doing it.

Wow, Mrs. Lee as Nature's Karmic Messenger.

Ha ha ha ha! she KNEW you wanted zucchini!! (You secretly did even though you didn't realize it.) The real question though is, what did the mutant zucchini-squash taste like? You could have had a brand new awesome vegetable there!

What you need to do is get Warren Buffet's payslip from last year(why do I want to write Jimmy Buffet?), scratch out his name, put yours in, let Mrs Lee see it and BINGO! She will drop of a bag filled with $500 bills saying 'I feel bad about your no a millionaire. So you get rich this year.' Maybe......

Learn to make fried zuchinni blossoms and remind yourself of Rome AND practice zuchinni birth control at the same time ...

Well...I'm jealous of that pretty zuch blossom, mine has been in the ground for somewhile and not a peep. My yard doesn't get lots of sun, so maybe that is it. SIX zucchinni plants!!! I swear (not really...well, sometimes), when I did have thriving zucchinni, checking every morning was a MUST; if I didn't, I'd get home after work and there would be a baseball bat-sized one under the leaves. harhar I'm with the others, maybe Mrs. Lee would like to water for you...?

oops, you wrote it was a pumpkin blossom...sorry. I'm still jealous.

Hi Laurie, I think Mrs. Lee knows you work all day and what she is really saying is that she wants to water your plants while you are gone. Also, did you ever cut into that squash? Maybe it's a watermelon inside!

I too think you should ask Mrs. Lee to help with the watering..you could offer to water her garden for her should she go on a trip, or maybe knit her some of those fabulous leg warmers you're so creative in producing ! Maybe zucchini colored leg warmers ! KathyB.

My older female relatives from the Korean side are all zealous gardeners like Mrs. Lee. Must be in the gene pool.

Does she have a karaoke machine in her house? Koreans love karaoke, and if she ever has a party you must get yourself invited, because you haven't lived until you've experienced singing with a group of intoxicated Koreans (at Christmas one of my cousins and I performed "Bohemian Rhapsody" not once, but twice).

Now that I have an arsenal of zucchini recipes, I fear no zucchini abundance. Email me and I'll give you my zapple muffin, zucchini bread and chocolate zucchini cake recipes. As Rachel Ray would say.....YUM-O!

Hi,
I didn't mean any offence by my comment and wasn't implying that you were a jerk or anything so sorry about that.

I still would like to know how you raise your zuchinni and squash though, since mine are all shrivelled from the sun. Do you keep yours in shade until they are big enough to plant out, or did you just plant straight out and hope for the best? I am growing super F1 yellow zukes so I dont want the only surviving one to die as they were kinda expensive for the measly 12 seeds I got in the pack.
Thanks

Are you SURE that's a mutant squash? Because pumpkins start out green and resemble watermelons. (My son & I picked one of our "watermelons" two years ago & were shocked to discover that it was actually a very unripe pumpkin.)

I'm just saying... if it looks like a strange little watermelon growing in or near a pumpkin patch... it might just be a baby pumpkin.

Mrs. Lee has a sense of humor! I will be moving to San Diego in about a month--can you drop some of those zukes off?? I love me some zukes--bread fried, steamed, doesn't matter! I will give you wine...

And to Stella in NYC...my TaeKwonDo instructor was never as fun as your relatives!!! Mr. Lee did NOT have a sense of humor.

Have you thought of growing little square zucchinis instead of big square watermelons? You're going to have lots of zucchinis to perfect your technique.

If you don't like zucchinis, try making zucchini slice. Delicious.

Anne Marie,
Thank you for the note and I emailed you back. It wasn't you so much as the general week I am having LOL. I do thank you again.

My zukes are right out in the sun. But then again these are hydrid versions meant to grow well out here in our "zone" I guess. I was just as surprised as anyone that I have had so much squashy success, I thought for sure they'd shrivel up with the rest of the garden.

Tomatoes and watermelon die in my yard before they manage to sprout any new leaves, mine all shrivelled at seeding stage. My peppers are still alive but they have no flowers this year. I may not have pruned them back enough. But I will have bushels of squash again this year!

I didn't cut that fruit open, I should dig it out of the green can and see what's inside.

I like how you're so nice about Mrs. Lee. There are lots of people who would be complaining about her as fussy, know-it-all.

Carrie -- perhaps it was a teacher/student thing? He was probably striving to maintain an air of authority in the class. It could be that in private he was a wild party animal!

My male relatives all 1)adore expensive Scotch 2) smoke like chimneys -- unfortunately 3)play golf obsessively and 4)wager on any sporting event that's taking place anywhere. Yet somehow they manage to operate successful businesses and support their families -- I'm not sure how.

Stella in NYC--your male relatives also sound like fun!

As far as Master Lee? There was that student/teacher thing, but he was mainly just a bad tempered man. I was never the target of his wrath and meanness, but he would shred others. I think he needed some good scotch and some karaoke--I know I could use some of both right now!!

Stella as soon as I go home tonight I'm going to ask her about karaoke. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

I think Mrs. Lee has invented the zucchini-to-gas formula. Ask her to fill up your Jeep.

Dear Aunt Purl,
Last spring I actually discovered pickled zuchini relish at a craft fair. Who knew you could pickle zuchini? I have not tried the pickles yet because I saved them as a gift for the mom-in-law who always tries to hide zuchini in choclate cake. Since we are from the zuchini liking side of the family you'd think she'd just say, Have some chocolate zuchini cake. By now we always know that if this nice lady gives us chocolate cake in the summer it will have zuchini in it. Anyway if the zuchini run rampant you can always make pickles and give them to Mrs. Lee.

"...it's like being in a game show." Beverage, meet screen. Also, she'll be around to take some of that never ending supply of produce off your hands, right? RIGHT?

girl, you is gonna be up to your eyeballs in zuccini,although cooking up some zuccini blossoms is a good idea.

BTW, basil is a perennial as long as there's no frost-which kills it.

1. Sooaker hoses...I use them and run them at night on low...nice and prepared for the next day!

2. I quickly get tired of Zuchs...so I chop them up and toss them into stuff. They take on the flavor of what's around them: Marinara sauce, meat loaf, muffins (just like applesauce can be used), sauteed in garlic and butter with other veggies or by themselves, in a salad - both lettuce kind and mayo kind.

Good Luck! Amy

PS - what a nice neighbor!

The interesting thing about my family is that I'm the only Yankee among them. They all live in the South; Georgia and South Carolina. Some of them have accents -- southern, not Korean. I'm always secretly amused when one of them lets loose with a "Dang!"

Stella one of my closest friends in college was a Korean gal named Kristen who'd been born and raised in Tennessee and had a stronger southern accent than me!

Love to read a new posting from you. Never know what I will get, just know that it will be creative, funny, real and reassuring.
What fun to picture you paring down, gardening, knitting, writing and just being!!!!
It gives one hope!

thank you for todays smile.

Too funny! Start plucking those zucchini blossoms, get your deep-frying mojo on as Valeria said and keep yourself safe from the Zucchini of Doom!

YAY green-growing-weird things!

Down here in the drought-ey South we're hoarding ice to sell on the black market and siphoning mud puddles to water the corn and sweet potatoes ...

You didn't plany any peppers this year? Papa must be sad :(

Can't you make some kind of deal with Mrs. Lee that she'll water for you while you're away all day and she's home? Happy plants, happy Mrs. Lee, happy Laurie. Sounds good to me.

Stella in NYC has a germ of a great idea. When you are buried in zukes, and possibly cukes, declare a Zucchini Festival, have Mrs. Lee bring her Karaoke machine and throw a block party! (The drug-selling neighbors are gone, aren't they?)

One solution to the watering problem is the Redneck Drip System. It consists of gallon jugs or 2-liter bottles with holes punched in the bottom and it's the only way I manage to keep outdoor plants alive. I use about one per every two tomato plants, so that would probably work for melons and squash too.

Hope your week gets better!

Up here, north of the 49th, basil is not a perennial. Chives, parsley yes Basil sadly no. I'm just saying is all.

Dude, I don't like zucchini either! I just need something in my life to be prolific.

two things-
1)have you ever sliced the zucchini very thin, then sauted it in butter (or olive oil) 'til it starts to brown? I wouldn't mind living on that for a month or so (or ten...) 2)any chance that was a baby watermelon??

I think you should ask Mrs Lee to come over and water your garden when you're at work. Fish or cut bait, baby. I have a neighbor who mows my lawn because, during a scolding, I said, "well, you cut it then" and he does. I'm selling my mower at the next garage sale.

Zucchini is good in vegetable lasagna and in stir fry or pasta primavera. If you really can't stand the thought of eating it, there's always the "free" section of Craigslist ;}

OK, here is what you do. . . water those zukes and when they start producing you give large amounts to Mrs. Lee and any other neighbors who will take them. Is there a food bank or a church or soup kitchen locally that might take some of the zukes? Take bags of them to work anonymously. Leave a bag at each desk. SO that would mean you cannot talk about growing zukes or they will know who they came from. Is there a farmers market near you on weekends - maybe you could make some money. You should start looking on the computer now for nummy zuke bread recipes (the sweet type). Figure out which recipe sounds the best and when the zukes are ripe you shred them and put the required amount per recipe in zip lock bags in the freezer. It keeps virtually forever. Then when you need to bake something tasty you are ready. Come Christmas time you can make everyone zuke bread. Be sure to make some of the zuke bread for Mrs. Lee. Remember that zukes are great an hiding under the leaves. They really are best when they are small - sort of nice cucumber size or even smaller. If they get the size of your arm or leg, they get a bit pithy. So, water those plants. Did you ever consider watering your plants with a 2 liter soda bottle? You fill it up and then stick it into the ground upside down and the water will slowly let itself into the ground all by itself.

You've won an award! Check my blog!

Aw man that's too funny! Heh!

Perhaps Mrs Lee could volunteer to water your garden once a day and you do the other, so your plants grow big and strong! Although from the looks of it you'd be overcome by jungle if you were to actually look after the plants! ;-)

Has anyone suggested MULCH, MULCH, MULCH? like, water everyone and then put several layers of newspaper (in convenient sizes, like maybe an eighth of a page) around the bases of your plants. You can water through it or stick your hose or whatever under it. Mulch makes the soil happy, prevents weeds, and lets the politicians or sports figures know what you think they're good for. Or you can use the less-ugly cheapest possible shredded hemlock (not the chips).

Have fun. I like you and your blog. Keep an eye on the cats, though, remember they're plotting.

oh, how sweet of your neighbor, but if she only knew the irony!!

i had a landscaper come out and assess the state of the bushes in front of the condo, and he took a look at one of them and said, "well, i haven't seen anything like that before." we looked closely at the base of the bush and it turns out that it's a mutant child growing from an old, old rose bush way past its prime.

however, bush looks fantastic, even if it is a little thorny, so we are pruning our mutant bush and giving it love.

i just love to putter in the garden and don't have any real aspirations - the watering and the dead heading are somehow so relaxing. i give my plants half a chance and the rest is up to them!

Maybe Mrs. Lee thinks you have a gift for growing zucchini and would like all that you produce!!!

ok, it's killing me. did you cut open the mutant to see if it was really a zuke or maybe a watermelon? not that I recomment eating it or anything. we have 2 raspberries and 1 mater. good thing we dont have to LIVE OFF OF THAT ALL WINTER!!!! :)

My Zukes are doing allright...my yellow squash bit the big one though.

I had the same "are you sure it's not a watermelon?" thought.

The farmstand that was right on our way home had about a zillion squash varieties for sale, some of which I am sure were just what happened when they planted zukes and melons too close to one another. (Hey, baby, twine my vine!)

Sadly, said farmstand is now closed, as the owners retired and their kids didn't want to buy/take over the business. It was instead bought by my high-school alma mater, which I think plans to turn it into athletic fields. I guess that's preferable to more hideous condos, which was the fate of the last piece of land they sold off.

In the spirit of the moment, I now introduce...

(drumroll please...)

The Backyard of Dr. Purl

(The Island of Dr. Moreau)
(I know it was a streach.......you know, mutants)

This is to funny 6 zucchini plants! The plants looks very good. Good luck.

How hilarious! Now to repay her generousity, you need to give her zukes until she begs for mercy. Leave them at her door, or put them in her mailbox or just any place that she will find them. Leave no place un-zuked-ified! Take no prisoners!!!

This just made me laugh and laugh! Because you are in the middle of a no-buying-season, and your neighbor buys something for you and it is something that you don't even really want! Am I the only one who see the hilarious irony at work here?

If you buy heirloom plants and not hybrids, the seeds will consistently produce the same looking, tasting vegetable. It's sounds swanky but it's not. More of an addicting problem. I currently have 20 different varieties of tomato in my tiny backyard.

Oh my dear, you have done what I have done. I took a fairly decent sized side yard and planted it with Pumpkin, Acorn squash, butternut squash, zucchini, yellow straight necked squash and sugar baby watermelon.

Needless to say, after seeing what the pumpkin plant did (planted that one first) I realize I have to build raised beds in the front yard and transplant like crazy before the other seedlings become a jungle and swallow my neighbors cat.......then of course I would MIND if it swallowed my neighbors cat.....he keeps trying to use the garden as a litter box.

Mrs. Lee reminds me of Mrs. Kim (Korean mother) in The Gilmore Girls. (mother of Rory's friend).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0238784/fullcredits#writers

(The cast should show up further down in the URL.)

I also like their tagline "Life's short - talk fast."

I pretty strongly recommend that you NOT read the scifi book "The Day of the Triffids."

Laurie,
I see tiny little mini-zuccini in the stores all the time. They're considered "gourmet" vegetables, but they are not a special kind of zuccini at all, they're just picked when they're still small. If you try doing that maybe you can keep them under control. Others would be more appreciative too. If you pick them when they're only about 3" long you can knock out 5-7 of them at a single sitting--and they taste good too!