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April 15, 2008

You're a vegetable! You're a vegetable?

Normally I know when whatever misheard lyric I'm belting out in the privacy of my own mind is well, misheard. Like I'm pretty sure I have no idea what the joker, smoker, midnight toker is doing in half that song. And we already know about Harry Dupree.

But there is one song that I have listened to most of my life which I loved and I knew I was maiming the lyrics something awful but I sang it loud and proud all the way: Wanna Be Startin' Something? You gotta be startin' somethin!

Because ya'll I LOVED Michael Jackson back in the day -- that cute little Michael with his fuzzy yellow sweater, that feisty little Michael when he was BAD. I just loved him. Poor thing. Bless his little heart.

Anyway, one of my favorite songs of all time is "Wanna Be Startin' Something?" and there are two lines I knew I had all wrong:

To high to get over (yeah yeah)
Too low to get under

You're a vegetable ... you're a vegetable
You're a hee-eey
You're a vegetable....

Because Oh My God I Mean Really Now. Who would write a song like that? Who would think calling someone a vegetable was a well and very insulting thing to say in song form and possibly while moonwalking?

Then I went on the internet to look up the real lyrics because what on earth is the internet for if not song lyrics, travel deals and Web MD? And did you know that apparently the real lyrics are..

YOU'RE A VEGETABLE.... YOU'RE A VEGETABLE.

Listen (around the 2:40 mark):


And yet another (listen for it at the 2:07 mark):


Amazing. Next time I get mad at someone and I wanna be startin' somethin, I'm gonna call 'em out. YOU'RE A VEGETABLE! You hear me! A lowly old vegetable!

Posted by laurie at April 15, 2008 8:55 AM