A journey of self-discovery expressed for us all.

Amen to your Year of Not Dieting.

You are so right about the plan. I've always needed a plan to function, and i'm finally learning that sometimes you need to NOT have a plan to get anywhere.

I never post but I notice I might be first, so FIRST!! Yay! Also, I love your blog, I stalk, I mean check it out every evening I get home from work.

Here's to not dieting!!!

Kim

OFF TOPIC (sorry)

have you heard sushi has high levels of mercury? that pisses me off! i love sushi!

Well said, on every level. Might I make a small suggestion? I like to cook in big batches of things (stew, chowder, soups, curries, pasta&sauce) and then freeze individual servings for later lunches and dinners. I find it much easier to eat healthy when I have homecooked frozen options to pop in the microwave. Two or three big pots o' food on a weekend can feed a single person for two or three WEEKS, interspersed with single-serve meals and fresh fruit/veggies.

Girlfriend, you have inspired again! I'm doing the whole "No diet, eat real food" thing too.....and it works! Imagine!

I have thought a lot about your non-diet over the past year when I was trying to lose weight and while I may have not succeeded all that much, I am still working it out.

My new thing to add to the non-diet, is something Wide Lawns said a few posts ago. Every time you are about to eat something, ask yourself, "Am I eating like an A-hole?" If the answer is yes, stop, abort mission immediately.

Between all the various dieting tips I pick up from the innernets, I am sure to do better this year. Not that it is going to stop me.

Thanks again, Laurie. I didn't cry during this post, btw.

I love my Pressure Cooker and my favorite new Cast Iron Skillet. I have to cook because of the boys but a lot of times I choose not to eat because if I ate everytime they did I would be a 4X4. I wait until I'm hungry.

Hope you're feeling better.

1) I LOVE Mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E Frankeweiler. I read it as a child, and I just recently re-read it again (I'm 30.)

2) I'm making chili in my crockpot tonight. Yummmmm.

3) It's amazing how "not being on a diet" and "doing the best I can" makes very gradual, but much more permanent, changes that are good for me. And it's so great when I read about it here.

4) Totally non-sequitur, but I did my very first ever real push up last week. I've always worked out, but I'd never been able to push UP from the down push up position before. Woo hoo.

Happy Friday everyone!!

The joy of not waiting to do things until you are skinny is that often times, the things you are avoiding doing actually help you get there. I was never a hiker, but we wanted to get out and see things. And all of a sudden my fat girl hiking gear was loose. What was happening?!?

Biking, never. Now it's a way to get to work (several days a month, not every...yet).

So yes, change the way you think and the world opens up to you.

Thank you! I really needed to read that today. Deep breaths and it will all be okay. :)

Eating well is really about being healthy, not skinny. It took a health crisis for me this year to realize that.

I hope you're feeling better. Is it flooded in Encino-adjacent yet?? Have a great weekend, sweetie!

I recently discovered you, got your book as a b-day present to myself and devoured it (worry not, I live 3000 miles away and won't stalk...) I'm 10 years (or so) older than you and I have to say, you have your shit together more than you know. I broke my crock pot lid at christmas and haven't gotten a replacement. after catching up on your life (I'm in June 2005) and reading your new posts, you rock! You live and you learn and you are funny and kind and the world needs more crazy aunt purls. as my brother says... "keep up and you will be kept up" You keep it up... thanks for your posts.

Yay Laurie! Good for you. And I'm glad you didn't eat California because I live here too and would like some of it. :) I've been working on making sure I eat the 'good' things rather than denying myself and dieting - I haven't seen the weight go down yet but bloodwork has indicated some serious improvement in things like cholesterol. I think it's so much healthier and more sane to look at food that way! Thanks for the inspiration.

Amen Sister!!! Really though, thanks for sharing and putting that out there. It's really refreshing to hear stories where people don't always focus in the weight or the calories or the carbs and instead focus on getting healthy.

PS - you don't usually need to add any extra water if you're already using a liquid of sorts in the crock.

"and neither were my mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E. Foodenweiler."

Dude - I just had a warm, fuzzy moment of childhood nostalgia. I so wanted to hide out at a museum and have adventures after reading this book!

Man, sometimes you make me so damned happy and reading you makes me feel better about me and wish that you lived within an hour drive.

That makes me a weirdo, I know. But there it is.

Yay for you, Laurie! You have come a LONG way over the past year, and you should be very proud of yourself!

Your "un-diet" really inspired me, and has worked very well for me also! I intend to continue doing it this year as well.

Keep it up, Laurie - - you're doing GREAT!

I accidentally picked up "The everyday low-carb slow cooker cookbook : over 120 delicious low-carb recipes that cook themselves" at the library a few weeks ago and after renewing it twice I had to give it up. I'm not dieting, not even trying to eat healthier, I'm just trying to find a lazy way of cooking. After two years of grad school, the Hubby thinks it's time that I start cooking again since I'm home now in the evenings. There are some fabulous recipes in there. I'm just happy I have access to free copying at work . . .

Mrs. Basil E. is right up there with "Bridge to Teribithia" in my all time, still read them even though I'm way beyond the YA lit designation. Let's face it, a good book is a good book no matter who it's target audience is. /steps off librarians soap box

So cool - I know where you've been, and it is insane. Welcome to self-acceptance and happiness!

Congratulations! I have lost and gained weight three times since college graduation. The last time I did it with a plan and now I live in that lovely world called maintenance... the one that embraces something like your 80-20 "rule", trying to respect my body and stay out of what Kristin Armstrong calls the crust zone. (Yes, I know she's too blond, cute and skinny but she has some good thoughts about respecting our bodies through what we put into it. Plus she is a knitter!)

http://milemarkers.runnersworld.com/2007/03/crust_zone.html

I tried your crock pot recipe this week and it was fantastic! My boys loved it. I mixed it up a bit mid week by taking some of the crockpot turkey and veggies and heating it up with a bit of chicken broth and some McCormick Hot Madras Curry Powder. It made a delicious curry stew and was a huge hit. Just wanted to share! Love your blog and your book!

Laurie.. I'm so happy you've discovered crock pot cooking.. and I don't want to be one of those people who criticizes.. and I'm not.. I'm just looking out for ya (got your back and all)... but cardinal rule number one of crock pot cooking... NO FROZEN MEAT IN THE POT! Seriously... your Crockpot doesn't get hot enough, fast enough, to keep the food at a safe temperature for the right amount of time, as the frozen food slows down the whole process. You want the food to reach 140 degrees as soon as possible. You can Google and read about a thousand people who've done it anyhow a million times. You can do it a million times, and be fine.. and then the next time end up with food poisoning. Better safe than sorry I say. Defrost your meat first! :)

YAY, Laurie!!

Okay, I hate to bring it up, but - how much DID you lose? Not in pounds, necessarily - weight is only one measure of health. But in pants size, or something?

I need to lose weight before my chorus trip to Europe next summer - so far, I've gained more :-<

The problem with most exercise is, you can't knit while you're doing it! I'm thinking we need a machine. Maybe one of those stationary bicycles that reclines. We could lean back and knit, but burn calories and tone our thighs at the same time. For real incentive, we could put a yarn dispenser with a meter on it - a foot of yarn for every 10 revolutions, or something....

And now you've gone and made me bawl, because you're absolutely right! Even if you're skinny as a stick, you can be messed up about how you look and food being the enemy [she said from experience].

Don't wait. That's the big message. Don't wait until your vacation, until you meet the perfect guy, until you get your hair frosted, because life is what is happening right now, at this keyboard!

(And speaking of which, now I have to go do life stuff.)

Laurie, have you read any of Michael Pollan's books? He wrote The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food. (Disclaimer: I haven't actually read them but my daughter has read the first one and loved it. She doesn't know it yet but she's getting the second one for her birthday.) Anyway, he writes about food and eating healthily and well.

Love your blog.

AMEN and you go girl!!! What an awesome post!!!!

CAP - now see...you done make a Bubbeh proud. :sniff: You've accomplished a lot of things this year that some people canNOT do (do youu know how many people LITERALLY throw up if they have to stand up in front of people, nevermind TALKING??) And I gotta tell you, one thing neat about us humans: BEAUTY! There are all sorts of beautiful, and let me say - everyone who thinks our Crazy Aunt Purl is THE standard for a beau-tee-ful say HEY! (did you HEAR that? ten THOUSAND people all over the WORLD shouting?) Matter o' fact, do you realize that all us readers knew you were beautiful before any o' us ever laid our very own eyeballs in our very own eyeholes ON you? Or on a picture of you? That's one thing I like about our innernet - we can meet PEOPLE without which we're influenced by the cover/skin/shell/frame/lid/appearance, which we all know you can't judge a book/friend/comrade by. Wordy, ain't I? But you know what I mean. To sum up this whole thing in one word:

HOORAY!! You're SPECTACULAR!!

ok it's three words. I know. Nevermind.

Good for you on kicking the diet habit. I wanted to tell you about a couple of good crock books I found. The first is Not Your Mother's Crockpot Cookbook, and the second is NYMCC for Two. The latter one makes smaller quantities, which you might like. Both have multiple versions of similar dishes so you can pick which one suits. In my case, it's a matter of what ingredients do I happen to have on hand. Another one I like is Mabel Hoffman's healthy crockpot cookbook. I forget the title, but if you plug in her name, it'll be obvious.
My aunt, a restaurant cook, used to nag me to make large amounts and freeze portions, but when I did that, I'd forget what I had in the freezer. Anyway, next time you're in Roanoke, I'll cook for you!
And, my divorcing cousin went gaga over the purple yarns and the knitting stuff. Her neck surgery is scheduled for February, so she's going to get a knitter friend to sit with her and help her get started. She opened the box while on the phone with me and just screamed with laughter at your book's title. So, she'll have something to read and something to do while she recuperates and she said to thank you for inspiring me! It made her day.

I've read your blog for such a long time and never commented...but your entry today moved me. It is SO hard to come to that place where you decide to leave the crazy diets behind and just eat real foods! It took leaving LA for me to develop a healthy relationship with food, and even now it gets tough at times. If you feel like reading, "French Women Don't Get Fat" is great fun (not as much fun as imagining you could live in a museum eating from vending machines, but still) and provides a lot of good insight about eating *real* foods in sane portions, and how deprivation and dieting will never work. Check it out! Keep up the positive outlook, and have fun with the crock-pot, which is possibly one of the greatest inventions ever!

You are beautiful, and I'm glad you use a meat thermometer. Cooking frozen stuff in a crock pot can be a recipe for food poisoning unless you are sure it is heated to a high enough temperature. Stay healthy in all ways, Laurie!

Big hug. Love your posts and your site.

Hugs to you, Laurie :)

Well, Frank wanted to go on the Zone diet this year, but since I do all the cooking, I told him I was not going to do any diet that calls for Textured Vegetable Protien granules this or Fructose granules that. He finds Zone recipes on the internet with all those "blocks" - well, if you actually do the math, the numbers are all over the place.

So I find actual cookable recipes in my cookbook stash for the same dinners, and then painstakingly calculate calores, protein, carbs, fiber, and fat, and adjust them so they're healthy

I am dealing with more spreadsheets than a CPA at tax time, but you know what? We're eating edible, tasty non-diet food that's balanced and it doesn't feel like a diet.

Because I figure it's going to take me until August to get down to my fighting weight at a pound a week, and so a "diet" will not work. I barely have the "won't" power to last a week, let alone eleventy three in a row.

Right now we have a half dozen breakfast, lunches and dinners that I know are healthy and portion-sized. It was a lot of work up front, but we have something that works for us and allows for the odd chocolate chip cookie on Sundays.

(It also keeps me from the office vending machines. Just the thought of having to enter one more blasted thing in my spreadsheets!)

You may be surprised to discover as you go along not-dieting that you turn into a good cook! Especially since you're cooking for yourself, not that ungrateful Mr. X with all the weird food phobias.

Personally, I think you can do anything you set your mind to. ANYTHING.

Dear Mrs. Basil E. Foodenweiler-
I am reading your blog from the Metropolitan Museum of Art where thankfully they have wifi. Because seriously, spending all my days on docent tours and all my nights sleeping in Queen Elizabeth the somethingth's bed is getting old.

I never did do the diet thing, but then, I thought I was smarter than everyone else who was on a perpetual diet, all starved and food-crazed and instead became a bulimic. Wasn't I brilliant?! 30 years later I've finally managed to get ahold of myself, thanks to therapy and a fear of dropping dead after 30 years of getting away with no damage whatsoever to my body. Now I really can't eat just any old thing, have to make good choices if I want to stay on the wagon. The 10 lbs I gained was nothing compared with freeing myself from all those years of self-torment. I always enjoy your posts when you put it out there about accepting ourselves...it's a valid message and one that women are finally starting to embrace, not out of laziness but because they realize beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Yeah to the slow cooker. I use mine all the time and even though I'm a singleton... it is perfect for when friends come over-a non-stressed hostess and a healthy meal.

I love soups in the winter and will often freeze up smaller portions for lunch at work. Makes it easier to grab a defrosting container of my own healthy, yummy and filling soup than trying to figure out how to make a sandwich pre-caffeine.

So Inspirational. Your crazy food and body perspectives are not mixed up and horrible, and sadly, they're very common. I'm trying to deprogram too. Our society is effed up when it comes to food and body image.

My healthy to shitty ratio is about 50:50. I'll work on that. But I'm not weighing anything. Not my food, not my self.

I tried the recipe someone posted for Thai beef today, and it's awesome! I added a half-teaspoon of red curry paste to give it a little kick. Excellence.

You wear your growth well my dear. And you will like the fix it and forget it book. I should have clarified that it isn't a goofy diet book. it is just less "stuff" in the crock pot. And really, the way crock pots cook, you don't need a lot of extras. They do such a good job of bringing out flavors.

Yummy looking chicken by the way. I should get all those old breasts out of my freezer and cook them up that way.

Awesome awesome! It's such a weird thing that we're so messed up about, this whole idea of "be good to your body and it will be good to you" (well, aside from the bronchitis, and I hope the drugs are working and you're feeling a bit better) that we have to hedge it around with all this cracked-out crap about "good" food, "bad" food, whatever. But great to see your year's experiment has treated you well!

"...party hard and use a condiment" should be on a teeshirt. *still laughing*

I'm a firm believer in, (if perhaps not yet a practician of), the 80/20 rule.

Go, you! :-)

Girl, you have got the gift of words! I have never read anything regarding "anti-dieting" that hit home so hard for me. You have a wonderful attitude about life (including food). BTW, that turkey breast dish looks yummy.

I think the "party hard and use a condiment" will be shared at my next girls night out!

You rock!

I second the comment about Michael Pollen's books. I read the first; Omnivore's Dilemna and each chapter changed my attitude just a little. By the time I finished it my thoughts about "REAL food had changed nearly 100%. I highly recommend this read to EVERYONE... especially NON-dieter's. The thing is... it is about how our food has changed and what the change has done to us. You will never again look at food the same way!
Lyn (formerly Corn Walking)

One word, Yoga!

It's very good for the "don't want to be so crazy" in me. That and my "diet" of stop eating (so much) crap and don't stuff myself silly (more than once a week) lost me 10 lbs since mid summer.

Confession---I bought and ate twinkies on the way to yoga yesterday. Oh well, no twinkies today, it's a balance.

Last year was a get healthy year for me and 2008 will be a continuation. Yep also on the Michael Pollen book.

Hmmm guess that was more than 1 word.

You have always been beautiful to me.

Now, go and look at this ==> http://swissmiss.typepad.com/weblog/2007/12/taking-knitting.html

You CAN be crazier than you are right now.

Oh.

And be gentle with yourself.

.

I don't know if it's been suggested here in the comments yet or not, but I've found some great crockpot recipes on this website... www.halfmysize.com.

80% healthy food is damn good.

No dieting is damn good.

Best exercise I have found? Walking. Get yourself a $25 pedometer off amazon and clip it on your pants. All day. And then go out a couple of days a week at lunch and walk for just 20 minutes. You would be amazed at how much just walking will do for your stress level and your fitness. And all you need is a pedometer (which is optional but cool) and a pair of sneakers. You can even walk in your work clothes if you don't get too carried away with how fast and far you walk.

Best of luck on 2008 and exercise. It's my goal too.

why is it that there are more condiments in our fridges than food? This, I'm certain, correlates to how poorly I eat some days. There is no actual food in there. Not anything fresh or tasty anyway.
When I grow up, I want to be as self accepting as you.

Thanks for that! I really needed the pep talk. It's good to know that someone else who tries to eat healthy doesn't succeed 100% of the time and that I'm not the only person in the world who doesn't exercise (unless you count knitting, cleaning, and chasing my kids).

I didn't even think about posting a recipe. Here's my fave: Vegetarian 'French' Onion Soup

Saute 1 or 2 large onions in 2 tbsp. (or so) of butter (it won't kill you). When they're soft and squishy, coat them with a little bit of flour, a teaspoon or so of sugar, several dashes of Worcestershire, and a couple (or more) dashes of Tabasco (to taste on that one). Stir it all 'round until the onions are coated in it.

Add the onion mixture to 4 to 6 cups (depends on how much onion you did) of prepared vegetable boullion (which is already in the crock pot). Let it cook all day and, when you're ready to eat put your soup in a bowl and add some skim mozzarella or provalone (broil it in a 'safe' dish in your toaster oven if you want or just let it melt). You can make the big bread crumbs (french bread cut into cubes then toasted ever so lightly in the toaster oven) if you want and put them in the bowl before the cheese, but I'm usually too lazy.

You rock girl!

Hi -- never commented before but felt compelled to now. One thing that helped me tremendously was, believe it or not, watching the documentary Super Size Me and reading Fast Food Nation. When you see what they do to that food before it gets to your plate it makes you realize that the processed food we eat because it either tastes so good (see: McDonalds french fries) or is supposed to help us stay thin (see: Lean Cuisine) is just too disgusting to eat. Period. That helped a lot. Also, please don't let your weight keep you from being more active. Two years ago I decided I wanted to go from being a non-exerciser to running a 5k. I started with walking five minutes, running one minute and over a period of eight long months worked up to running for 30 minutes straight. I endured runner's knee, shin splints and all kinds of other injuries that should have told me that I was too darn fat to be running anywhere but for some reason I just kept it up. It took more than a year, but I finally worked up to being able to run the whole 5k. Very slowly. But i did it. I'll never be one of those skinny-minnie runners but just being able to run a mile for the first time in my life gave me such a tremendous boost in self-confidence I didn't care what I looked like anymore.

When I came to see you in November I wasn't thinking about how you looked and I wasn't in anyway sizing you up at all. I came because I liked your writing and wanted you to know that. I came because I wanted to see a real live person who had achieved my dream, a person who had that "IT" they're always talking about on American Idol. I came to see what that was like in real life and partly to convince myself that great and miraculous things truly happen to normal people. It was incredibly inspiring and you were lovely, but your physical appearance was an afterthought. Of course I probably made a total ass of myself, for which I apologize. One thing, and this isn't exactly a criticism, was that you seemed too self-deprecating and apologetic and that is way more unattractive than a few extra pounds (skinny people get more wrinkles by the way). You have to be confident and own your success. Don't apologize to your readers because parts of your book are sad. Your book wasn't sad, it was triumphant! Sad things have to happen so that we have something to rise above and that's what readers love and that's what I loved too. So own your "IT" and your success and be confident and proud and own your crock pot turkey too because it looks good.

I've never had a weight problem (much). I grew up a skinny little thing who could eat whatever I wanted, and I mostly stayed that way, having only to watch that I didn't totally pig out for months at a time. But this:

...so I finally had to stop "waiting until I got skinny" to take chances and do new things.

This is my life story. Only for "I get skinny" substitute "I get a better job" or "we buy a house" or "my kids get older" or... well, then Taz got sick, and there was no "until." And realizing that "until" was just an excuse to keep drifting along and not pick up that paddle, which I actually knew long before I even had kids, and then ACTUALLY PICKING UP THE PADDLE -- that has been my perennial struggle, at which I perennially resolve to do better.

Occasionally I play a game with myself: "If I won the lottery, I would _______" -- fill in the blank, as many times as I want. Then see how many of those things I could really truly do now, if I really wanted to. Then do them.

It turns out not to be so easy, for me anyway, but I keep trying. I salute you, for having done it, for living that way.

I remember doing the Diet Coke diet!! LOL I never did well with low carb diets. DON'T tell me that I cant eat grapes because they have too many carbs in them!! And it makes me nuts when I read to limit the amt of fruit given to kids because of the high sugar content. Where are the comments of limiting their fast food intake?!!? Take away their play time and then wonder why so many kids are fat. Team sports are fine, but when that is the only thing available, it leaves alot of kids out.
Ok enough of my rant. I'm really impressed that you have used this year to work on your non dieting. Its slower, but works so much better!!

Congrats on sticking with your No Diet plan!

I love my deeply unhealthy comfort food, but the plan I found for dealing with it was actually to make the *best* unhealthy comfort food I could (mac-n-cheese with three cheeses, burgers with garlic and onions and scotch in them, etc.) and then really enjoy however much of it I was going to eat. It was so much more satisfying that I wound up eating less of it (plus, I got to make it myself).

I think it's great that instead of dieting you are trying to live more healthy and be nicer to yourself. I've been carrying a lot of insecurities with me my whole life and I don't like it! It sucks. You waste so much time worrying what others think about you while most people's focus is really more on themselves and how others view them, they don't care that much about you (ok, as you are more famous it might be different, but in the end what matters is still that you feel good about yourself, nothing else will make you happy). I'm not really there either with being completely happy wiht myself, but I do want to be happy and I'm working on it. By the way, you looked cute in the picture with your grandma and you have cute apple cheeks, that's worth a lot. :)

love the new life outlook. it's inspiring. embrace the world and all it has to offer! i find it funny that i am about to quote this person, but in an interview i once heard Beyonce say- women are far more attractive when they have self confidence and a sense of pride, no matter their size.

I lost 135 pounds on Atkins in 1 1/2 years, stopped doing it and gained 50 back in a year. I'm sick, tired, and depressed.
I read everything you wrote, even the backdated posts...I'm going to try it your way.
Thanks so much for letting me know that it isn't just me.
I realize it's mostly in my head, not my stomach.

"(Once, in a town I will not name, someone walked up to me at a book signing and instead of saying "Hi!" or "Hello!" or anything, she just said, "You're not THAT fat." I had no idea what to say."

AAAUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! (I'm screaming on your behalf and on behalf of every woman who has ever had some ding-a-ling say something that ridiculously tacky to her.)

I am 48 years old, and have dieted for so long, I truly don't believe I know how to eat properly anymore. Your undieting has been such a great lesson for some of us. And in fact, I changed jobs a few months ago, and lost 25 pounds, and did nothing different erating wise, other than not eat as much because the job uis very physical and I am so tired when I get home, I just sort of crash and burn.

But I, too, hate exercise, and am trying to figure out a way to add it to the mix in a way that I will keep doing.

As someone who has been on the Dr. Pepper, cigarettes and vitamins diet (how did I survive college?) I just want to say that you've been an inspiration with the whole undiet thing.

I've been doing something pretty similar for a few months now, with moderate success, but didn't know what to call it.

Don't feel bad for slip ups. Every plan, no matter how loose, needs some wiggle room. No one's perfect and once you slip up too much, you're likely to quit altogether I give myself one day a week to eat pretty much whatever I want, and after a while I found myself not wanting junk food at all.

brava!

Thanks for a great post.

Wow!

If you like to read (wink wink) you should seriously check out Body Outlaws by Rebecca Walker. Smart, witty, hilarious collected essays from women on dealing with and overcoming every body issue under the sun. It was a great step on the road to self acceptance for me, and your post totally reminded me of something I would read in it's pages. Thanks Crazy Aunt!

Laurie, my own Invention: Chicken soup with flavor- buy some MOLE MIX (MO-lay mix) in the Mexican food section in little packets. Refrigerate broth & skim the fat before making soup. To your chicken, or turkey, or beef broth add 1 or two packets of mole mix. Add rice too. Dump in a whole buncha veggies of your choice. Simmer til veggies are done. Swoop with Flavor! Good for you! It's not diet soup, it's tasty and just happens to be good for you. :-)

Heh. If you'd like to come to Santa Barbara, I'll make you some!

Yay!!!!!

So glad that you had this epiphany and that you are happier with yourself and your life.

Re: Exercise: Howsabout belly dancing, Hula, or ballroom or swing dancing? Howsabout Yoga or swimming? Pick something that makes you feel good when you're doing it, not just 'cause you're supposed to do it to be healthy.

Hey, 80% is completely awesome!! May I suggest that you incorporate the 20% "crappy" part into the overall non-plan? And then, if you choose food that is perhaps not so healthy, but gives you some other reward (like fresh chocolate chip cookies are so heavenly for all your senses), it's also part of being healthy, too. And the healthy balance could include the occasional fast-food-because-I-really-truly-want-it day, too.

I have to say thank you, Laurie, because everything you've written about not dieting and eating in a healthy and balanced way and working on not beating yourself up when you don't do quite as you would like to, it's all been incredibly helpful to me as I'm dealing with my own body and health issues. I'm so grateful that you are willing to be so brave and open about yourself. Maybe that means I can be that way, too!

Your post made me think of a song by one of my favorite artists, Jonatha Brooke. It's called "Fatso" and it's about the craziness that is dieting. It's actually hilarious. I just looked online and you can download it free here:
http://otopocean.com/mp3/track/17205/69045/798883/
The whole album is really good, but that song is really a true ringer! Sample Lyric:
"Last night I dreamed I ate a chocolate cake. When I woke up I was sure it was true so I weighed myself just to be sure and drank a diet coke."
Here are the whole lyrics: http://music.yahoo.com/The-Story/Fatso/lyrics/834286
and no I don't work for her or anything, just thought it was something you and your readers might like. :)
~Amy

I may be a little late, but I haven't checked your site in a while and I noticed that you were looking for healthy recipes that freeze well. As it just so happens, I have a wonderful one that I make in my crock pot all the time. Plus, I'm a health educator. My whole job is to teach people how to eat healthier and prevent heart disease, so you can be sure that this is healthy! Anyway...on to the recipe:

Crock pot spaghetti sauce:
2 T olive oil
1 very large onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 big carrot, chopped
As much garlic as you like (I use about 5 cloves or so)
3 28 oz cans of tomatoes
1 can tomato paste
1/2 cup dry red wine
1 to 2 tsp light brown sugar, to taste (I usually use one. It just helps to cut down on the acidity)
2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper (more or less)
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (optional)

heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add onion, bell pepper, carrot, & garlic. Cover & cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Then toss everything into your slow cooker and cook on low for 6 hours. I puree the end result, but if you like it chunky you don't have to. I find that the puree coats the pasta better and then I don't have to listen to my boyfriend complain of "tomato chunks." Once it's done, taste it to see if it needs any more salt/pepper/cayenne, etc. This makes enough sauce for 4-5 dinners and it freezes very, very well. Enjoy.

Thank you.

Amazing post. And amazing the comments generated by it. That our weight, and subsequent concern with the amount of food we eat (or don't) causes such a spontaneous outpouring speaks volumes about self-image.
Here's to all of us....a better, more healthy us! Cheers to you all!

p.s. I got my cheetos lovers prize today, Laurie. Thank goodness it's a small bag. I promise I won't stalk you anymore.

I have done that with a tri-tip. Very yummy!

{{{Hugs}}} You are amazing (yes, really!) and fabulous (are, too!!) and an inspiration(so there!).

I second the poster who recommended belly dance lessons - particularly a good post-divorce, I-need-my-mojo-back, I-need-to-feel-sexy move. My younger sister does Middle Eastern dance and adores it. I'm sure if you look online you'll be able to find classes in LA, and you will find every body type imaginable in them. The focus is on being healthy and strong, not anorexic. It's a kick-ass workout and you will feel strong and gorgeous after you're done.

And it's a lot more -ahem! - dignified than say, pole dance lessons, don'tchatthink?

thanks for sharing that post...it helps to know that there is someone else out there like me.

Laurie, your posts continue to make me reexamine the way I treat myself and think of myself. As a thank you, I gave you a "You Make My Day" award on my blog. You can get a button there so that you can pass it on to others who make your day. :)

I hear you - check out Michael Pollan's book "An Eaters' Manifesto: In Defense of Food." I'm halfway through it and it may push you into a different mindset. His "The Omnivore's Dilema" is also very engaging/terrifying/entertaining, and his book that has made me read his last two is one of my favorite books ever, "The Botony of Desire".

Laurie: I spent winter break reading through your back posts, after finding your directions for the rollbrim hat. You helped me make xmas presents, made me laugh and made me cry. Listening to you talk about weight is inspiring.

I've gone from 170 to 240 in the past 5 years, and I'm not sure how it happened. I worked a very physical job (that didn't pay enough) and couldn't afford to buy much food. Then I got a better paying job, and a boyfriend that cooks very, very tasty food. I don't think I know how to handle that, foodwise.

Now I have to figure out what to do with my crazy self. You're an inspiration. Thank you for being someone who likes booze and snacks and hates exercise... and is still working at being healthy.

i've been reading the blogs on Knitting Friends for a little while but never posted a comment (it feels a bit like being a stalker - but it's such good fun - and I've picked up lot's of tips about knitting). Your entry today is excellent, what a brilliant way of looking at dieting, I think I'll try your approach myself. Thank you!

Yes. Go girl. We're moving the same way, since just before Christmas. The DH has turned into a porker overnight so I'm on a sneaky healthy food mission. I even got him to eat salad - anything is possible. I've even found recently that instead of craving cookies and junk, I've been craving...roast vegetables. Seriously. And I could have killed for some fresh, squeaky Savoy cabbage, lightly buttered with pepper. I guess it's all about forming habits.
Thankyou for a really inspiring and comforting post. More recipes please! :-)

on the whole excercise topic, a fun way to get some excercise and self esteem all at once is to take a bellydance class... my best friend and i decided to try one 2 years ago, and we're still going... its the one form of dance where being full figured actually gives you and advantage, and i don't know about cali, but in pennsy we have all shapes and sizes in our classes... check one out its a hell of a work out for your thighs and abs!

OK - I officially love you. What an *amazing* woman you are! And you're just... you. You have really touched me with this post.

Oh, and don't be jealous of the eat-anything metabolism... it ends at 35, or at least it did for me, and I had to take seriously all those eating healthy admonitions I'd gotten over the years. It catches up to ya, believe me.

Have you seen "How to Look Good Naked" on Lifetime? I love it, it's eye-opening to see how skewed our body images are.

Thanks for blogging Laurie - your ramblings are similar to my struggles. Keep em coming!

Your food-related posts are always so inspiring! Thank you :). I think you are doing wonderfully, and I certainly share your feeling that living in a healthy way, rather than being held hostage by the carb/calorie counter, is the way to go. I've had my own "food" journey over the past several years and have found a similar kind of peace. I am so glad you have found this peace too! And, for the record, I think you look lovely in all of your pictures :).

Laurie, I have wooden letters I painted "IF" to remind me of this very thing- quote by someone else but- what would you do if you weren't afraid?I'm trying to get back on the horse of life. and I figured if I keep waiting I don't want to be on my death bed and say gosh i really wish I had tried that- you're an inspiration!

Re:(Once, in a town I will not name, someone walked up to me at a book signing and instead of saying "Hi!" or "Hello!" or anything, she just said, "You're not THAT fat." I had no idea what to say. I didn't even know what she meant -- was I fatter than she expected? Not fat enough? Hard to say. And how to answer? Do you say "Thank you?" It was REALLY AWKWARD.)

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The best I can do regarding that sort of comment is a wide-eyed stare while I compose my thoughts, a chipper "How original of you!" and then on to discuss other matters as if it never happened. It seems to suit every such occasion.
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Excellent post, as always. I love your drive to health in all areas.

Regarding comment ~#50 (Amber in Albuquerque), -- thanks for the veggie French onion recipe! I'm careful to buy store brand Worchestershire sauce when I want to keep it vegetarian, as the quality stuff (e.g., Lea & Perrins) usually has anchovies.

you are SO BRAVE for writing that out. and funny. and i know that if you & i were to meet we would become as thick as thieves - we are so similar - it is uncanny!

and thanks to helen (comment above) for the advice about bellydancing - i think i might try it out!

I've been meaning to post this and since I made it on Friday, it's fresh in my mind and here it is. It is my verson of an old weight watcher's recipe. Makes enough for several meals.

Trailer Trash Chicken -

2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken
2 cans diet soda
2 jars of salsa
2 cups of brown rice
2 cups of water

Put it all in the crock pot and cook on high for 3-4 hours.

Note: I usually add more salsa or a can of Rotel tomatoes and chilis instead of the water, but otherwise it gets too dry with the rice soaking everything up - so add liquid as needed.

OMG. Thinking since the age of eight that you needed to diet??? I am so glad you have developed a far better perspective. I salute you!
Oddly enough, a decluttering book I have postulates another 80/20 rule: that we wear 20% of our wardrobe 80% of the time (so as to encourage us to get rid of all that stuff we never wear b/c it was bought in a fit of insanity, we'll wear it when X happens, it was on sale, our __________ gave it to us, etc).

I really, REALLY needed to read this. Because I could have WRITTEN IT (only it wouldn't have been funny.) I am doing Weight Watchers right now. (It's not a DIET, it's a Lifestyle! Or so they say.) Right now I really need to learn what's NORMAL and not how to deprive myself and then beat myself up. I think it's fair to say that I know all that now.

Anyway, thank you. My normal response to a new eating plan is to flip myself the bird. I'm working on it.

DH had a stroke a year and a half ago. Three weeks later, his left kidney had to be removed. Three months later, he had an abdominal aneurysm repair. As you can tell, he is a bit of train wreck and had to go on a seriously healthy diet. This is a man who always thought Twinkies were an Acceptable Food Group!

Anyway, there are no more sweets in the house. We eat lots of chicken, rice, and fresh vegies. Desert is fresh fruit. I listen to mucho complain-oes from the mister, but our college-age kids and I are much happier. And -- this is the best part -- I lost 40 lbs. Went from a size-14-pushing-16 to a size-10-pushing-8!

I've had a year and a half of our non-diet, and I feel so much better ('cept for the stress of being DH's primary care-taker, but that's another story!). What they say is very true: dieting causes brain damage!!!! Non-dieting works much better....

Go Laurie!!!!
I've started eating better about a year ago, taking baby steps along the way.
It's good to know other people are doing something similiar, I feel less like an odd duck for wanting to eat healthy for the sake of being healthy.

Oh, and if you ever come to Boston? I am so totally going to bake you a pecan pie. (I made another one last night. Yummmmm.)

You know it's funny being a girl who has always been fat and always watched what she eats - the grass really looks greener on the skinnier side. Until my skinny friend decided she wanted to lose some weight so she could drop her body fat percentage to (I don't really know what number because I was so in shock that SHE wanted to lose weight).

So she started eating three healthy meals a day and still wasn't losing weight. It turns out that even with three meals she's only taking in 800cal a day - and with working out for an hour each morning that's not near enough. So we had to have the talk about starving yourself and how it's not good and won't promote weight loss. She really doesn't understand how eating so little makes her body refuse to lose weight. Really.

It made me feel all smart because I understood how to eat right and lose weight - even if I don't do it - and she had no idea how to know how much food was enough. It even made me smile that she has a hard time eating enough food to lose weight - I've never had that problem!

Awesome - thank you. I was in a coffee shop about a year ago and spotted a mug that read something like "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" I came to a halt and was scared to buy it, but was sure a sign would go off over my head - "idiot thinks this applies to her". I thought about it for a week; especially that there is no "fail"...(there is no spoon Neo). There is learn, share, change, grow...I just love your column. Thank you.

Intuitive Eating (yes, there's a book by the same name!) has, I think, saved my sanity. No more diets, no more "good-food-bad-food", no more destructive bondage (and an eating disorder to boot) caused by years of unhealthy dieting. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're satisfied (not full!). I've been doing it for a few weeks, and have lost a few pounds. I know a lady who's lost over 100 pounds utilizing the "intuitive eating" approach. I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it. It is changing my life, and the way I view food. It is a simply approach, but does take some 'reprograming' and lots of practice to un-learn how to diet. I honestly can NOT (!!) say enough about it. Do a search on amazon and get the book. If I could afford it, I'd buy a copy for everyone who I hear say is going on another diet. diets don't work! Intuitive eating teaches one to eat in the manner that our bodies were programed to eat from birth, going back to the basics so to speak.

Here's a link to the book on amazon. Sorry if I'm a pest about it, but it has changed my life so much, for the better, I want to tell everybody :)

http://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-Revolutionary-Program-Works/dp/0312321236

If you get a chance check out "In defense of Food" from the library. I have been reading it but can't remember right now who the author is. But it is about how commercialism has messed with our heads so much that people cannot just eat without analyzing every choice. People have been eating for millions of years without help but now I guess we feel like we need some guidance. It just makes me sad.

Brava! The whole body/food insanity is hard to shake (like all habits). You expressed so well just what I went through several years ago when vowing never to go on a diet again. Get more healthy - yes! Resubscibe to the madness - no! Still a challenge for me :)

I have gone back and forth between health nut and junk-food fiend for the past 7 years or so. I wasn't raised eating the best foods for my body. Funny how I had horrible acne and tons of emotional ups and downs and was always low on energy.

I recently stopped consuming milk products and have tried REALLY HARD to avoid eating too much sugar, and I have noticed a huge difference in both my acne and emotional well-being. Even my energy level is up.

I kind of fell off the wagon around the holidays, and suddenly I had all of the acne and emotional ups and downs of my youth flaring up again. It's taken me over thirty years to realize the effects certain foods have on my body. Others might handle these same foods better, but my body just doesn't deal well with them. It's good to know. Much better motivation to eat well than "am I going to lose weight?"

Food is definitely good, you just have to know how to choose it, I guess.

And Laurie, remember:

It's great that you want to do this for YOURSELF; your health and self-image. But I think of you as a real-life Bridget Jones - Hell, Renee Zellwegger could even play you in the movie!

And along with everyone else here; be you thick or thin, attached or single, with or without bangs; I like you just as you are.

Dear Laurie,

I'm posting late to this discussion and I'll have to go back and read the comments late in the week (say 1/31) after I get a project done -- BUT I wanted to find this and I finally did:

The 80/20 Pareto Principle,
courtesy of Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, suggests that 80% of life’s effects come
from 20% of its causes. This has been expressed in many different ways regarding many different things. SO, your 80% eating well, 20% not so well during the past year fits in with a well-known principle. FYI.

Karen (kind of a nerd) posted at 11:55 P.M. on 1/29/08.