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December 17, 2007

And how was your weekend?

Things I did this weekend, possibly incredibly boring and yawn-inducing but all true:

1) Found seven cards a-lighting

I went to Target and survived long enough to purchase holiday giftcards. People were not much in the holiday spirit, unless by holiday spirit you mean "I want to kill you with my car in the parking lot" and also, "I shall cut in front of you in line." But whatevs... I found these gift cards that light up! Ah, it is the little things that make me happy:


2) I observed as people in Michael's almost attacked a woman

She kind of deserved it, actually, and she was right in line in front of me. Of course. She was at Michael's at arguably the busiest time of the day at the busiest time of the year on a Saturday and she had a big stack of items. We were all waiting in line for a looooong time, and when it came her turn at the register, she made the clerk price check each item three or four times and then stood there trying to decide which ones to buy. She was still deciding. In line. At the cash register.

I thought the woman in line behind me was going to snatch her baldheaded. The guy behind her started saying things, loud, angry things. Things one doesn't usually hear at a craft supply store. I am pretty sure he eats children ... maybe that's why he was at Michael's to begin with? But the point is -- people were not pleased.

It didn't phase her one bit. She took her sweet time, trying to decide which of the sixteen items she would buy. I just watched in amazement, in some sort of dumbstruck awe, because I just don't have those kind of balls. I myself could never stand calmly in line and make an entire store of people want to follow me home and stab me with decorative scrapbooking scissors.

I was only there to purchase one item:


This is seriously the thrid time I have had to purchase size 10 double-pointed needles. It's as if they come into my home and hide. But I had to buy them so I could finish my one lone Christmas-themed item what with it being practically Christmas already (!!!) so I just stood in line and hoped that when she was attacked, none of the blood got on my shoes.

3) I made caramelized onions

Ok, I know that for many people in this world, that sentence doesn't arouse feelings of awe and wonder. But this is my house we're talking about, a place where the oven has not worked since November of 2006. I have a toaster oven and it makes... toast. And baked potatoes. And that is all my culinary skills usually whip up, along with the occassional enhancement of "salad" or "smoothie" or the very gourmet "microwaved green beans."

But I must have been infected with a virus or something, and it compromised my usually high standards of cooking and I found myself last night in the kitchen making caramelized onions. I thought it would be really hard but it's not. Usually my problem in the kitchen is that I forget I'm cooking and stuff burns. But with the onions, this complete lack of interest in cooking comes in handy, because they cook very slowly on a low heat. You just slice a big onion, heat up some olive oil in a heavy-bottomed pan and cook the onions on low until they turn soft and caramelize. I had no idea that onions could be so sweet, and nothing makes your house smell all gourmet and awesome like some cooking onions.

It was kind of nice, actually, being in the kitchen again. Good smells at dinnertime always make me think of my dad. He's an amazing chef and he makes everything taste like it just arrived out of a five-star Michelin-rated restaurant. I have no idea how he does it, it's magic with my dad in the kitchen. That particular node of the DNA was clearly not passed down to me, but I have to say they were some pretty great onions.

I made a pita pizza for dinner (baked in the toaster oven of course). It's easy: One whole-wheat pita bread, a little tomato sauce or pizza sauce or pesto, add some crumbled goat cheese, caramelized onions, and finely chopped red pepper. You can add anything you want really, prosciutto makes this little faux-pizza really good but I opted for the less calorific meat-free version. YUM.

I did not take a picture. It got eaten pretty fast!

4) I apparently Tivoed some porny history channel


This was the Big! Scary! Parental! Warning! shown before an episode of some History Channel show I Tivoed. It was a show on the ancient Roman cities of Pompeii and Ostia, and apparently the Romans liked to get funky in their artwork.

Well, what happens in Pompeii stays in Pompeii, I guess.

5) Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the tree is so delightful....

Yes, next to that picture of my Pompeiian porny TV above is my super-cute Christmas tree. It's the same one I had last year, it's a pre-lighted fake tree that comes with its own urn, which makes it look even more real. But I love it, and this year I found the best ornaments for it:


Little silver Eiffel Tower ornaments. I found two of them at Target and then I drove all over the valley (and checked the website) but I only managed to find five of them total. They're perfect, I love my tree, every time I see it I smile.

Every time he sees it, he also smiles, wondering what new thing he can manage to free from the branches and hide in his secret lair:


That's all folks!

Posted by laurie at December 17, 2007 9:01 AM