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November 6, 2007

The writers are on strike!

Yes, that's write. Right. The high-paid big time Hollywood writers are on strike. Here at Chez Felinestein we just keep turning out the hits.

Such as:

1) My cat Bob is incredibly handsome, to make up for the possibility that he is a himbo.

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2) I'm on a Mexican Radio (or Canadian, but there's no song for that)...
I got a file of the recent CJAD Montreal interview I did with Peter Anthony Holder -- he was so much fun! Unfortunately, I had been traveling for 14 hours and it was 11 p.m. and I had literally just gotten off a plane and gotten home about ten minutes before the interview started so I make about thismuch sense. Whatevs! I am not a professional, merely an amateur enjoying my 22 minutes over here.

Also, there's a funny moment when he's talking about another knitter and I pause because what I wanted to say was that the knitting community is very... close knit. And even Cheesy McCheesepants over here fully understands that is not something to say on air. So I said it was a "small" community. Then I said it like 25 more times. hehehehe. It was late. I'd had three glasses of wine on the plane. Whoopsy.

You can listen to it here. Also, I believe it is obvious how much I lurve my friendly neighbors to the north, especially when drinking, tired, and happy to be not on airplanes anymore.


3) Welcome to Miami, Old Lady

Me (humming and also singing but not realizing I am doing it): Welcome to Miami, bienvenos a Miami...

Friend who is Cute, but Very Young [and don't even bother asking as that is the most details you will get]: What are you singing?

Me: Was I singing? I don't sing.

Friend: Yeah, you're telling me.

Me: Har har you're a real jokester. No, I'm just thinking about my trip to Miami and every time I think of it I get that song in my head! You know the one ... Welcome to Miami, Bienvenidos a Miami...

Friend: ...? No?

Me: You know! The Will Smith song, about Miami!

Friend: ...?

Me: Oh come on, it was all over MTV a few years ago, when he did that song about Summertime and then the Miami song.

Friend: You mean THE Will Smith, the actor?

Me: Well, yeah but before he was THE Will Smith, he was the Fresh Prince. You know, Parents Just Don't Understand?

Friend: Just don't understand what? Who's the fresh mints?

Me: The Fresh PRINCE. Come on! Don't tell me you don't remember DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince?

Friend: Who is that?

Me: Don't tell me this is news to you. ARGH. Before Will Smith was THE Will Smith, when he was on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air...?

Friend: Never heard of it.

Me: Oh my God tell me again what year you were born in?

Friend: 198* [Editor's Note: I am editing here as you can see, because the shame is too much to bear.]

Me: Oh God. You were like, in preschool or something during the reign of the Fresh Prince. As God Is My Witness let us never speak of this again.

Friend: I want to hear this Miami song, I can't believe Will Smith did a song.

Me: He didn't just do a song, he had ALBUMS. Do you know what ALBUMS are?

Friend: Is this going to be like the time you got mad because I didn't know who that Mia Sparrow chick was?

Me: Mia FARROW.

Friend: It's OK, you still look good for an old lady.

(Physical violence ensues, wherein I am triumphant using Fall Vogue as a powerful weapon.) (Note to the guv'ment ... instead of bombing other countries, just drop copies of Fall Vogue from above.)

Me: Just for the record, on Friday I am going to MIAMI, bienvenidos a Miami, and I plan to meet Puff Daddy and never speak to you again!!

Friend: Good luck with that. They don't even call him that anymore.

Me: What?

Friend: He's just Diddy now.

Me: Yeah, well I was alive back when MTV played actual music videos! So there!

Friend: Heh, yeah and when Will Smith was on a TV show. YEAH RIGHT.

- - -

4) And finally, don't tell the cats I'm going to hang out with DIDDY. Or diddlysquat as the case may be...


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It's not easy being Bob. Or cheesy.


Posted by laurie at November 6, 2007 10:46 AM