Speaking of lists, have you seen this website?

http://www.listography.com/

You can utilize the site, and they have a new book too! :)

hey CAP, love what you're doing with your place, and I've used the artscapes window stuff in my bathroom, it's fab! Shine on you crazy Purl!

I have that wisteria self stick sheet on my front door window and I think it is pretty. Blinds keep hitting the door when you close it and that takes a toll. Besides I enjoy seeing the flowers year round, it is calming.

PS. love the side hawk - that cracks me up.

I'm 43 and I'm still trying to find my "style". Plus figure out what I want to do with my life when I grow up, ha ha. I've been a Mom for almost 17 years and my decorating style was mostly "easy care, doesn't show stains etc". Now that I don't have to worry about that so much, I have no idea what to do. Ack!!

Ah, we women often wait until our thirties to start figuring out who we are. Rock on with your awesome faux window coverings!

I also wanted to say that I always have "cat help". Sometimes it's quite an experience when they help!

I think styles continue to change, but it certainly becomes easier with age to admit what I like and to stick by it - no matter what the people you love the most prefer. A running joke between my guy and I is his desire to outfit me and the offspring in kahkis and docksiders. Not a chance, but he takes it well even though he feels compelled to keep trying.

Oh, I LOVE your wisteria window! How pretty! I've never heard of those kinds of window treatments yet I'm an avid watcher of HGTV. Hm, where was I during those moments? Probably getting up and pouring another glass of wine. ;)

The only "image" you need to project is what expresses your own style, know what I mean? You, yourself. And by God, you're finding it and inspiring us in the process!

I hope Bob was helpful in some way... :)

I adore you. You write stuff and I just nod my head because I totally understand every word.

Windows look FAB! Great idea. I did a window over my tub (well, my handyman did it) but it used adhesive...these sound so much better. I'll have to wander the aisles at Lowe's and find it. You are making SOOOO much progress (literally and mentally and emotionally and ever other "-ally"!!!) You continue to inspire us all.

I think your windows are awesome! I pretty much think everything about you is awesome! I have a woman-crush on you!

I think the window clings are fabulous! What a nice solution. The Wysteria is beautiful.

I personally can hardly wait to live in my own home and NEVER have blinds again. Too many years renting.

I love those windows!

I'm 39 and I'm still learning all of these lessons too Laurie. I have always done everything to please someone else in my life until my divorce 3 years ago when I finally started trying to figure out what makes me happy and what I want. Even though it took me a long time to start figuring this stuff out, I'm happy I am on the right path finally.

I can't say I've ever worried about my design style, but there have been times reading you when I was grinding my teeth that a woman so much younger than my generation could be so freaked out by/unable/unwilling/unprepared to take care of herself. It was like I was asking myself "why did we do all that fighting in the 1970s?" Suddenly, you seem to have gotten the idea that you yourself are worth taking care of and that your worth doesn't ride on being attached/identified with a man. Congrats.
Seriously. It puts a whole new spin on life.

I think your 30's are THE time to figure out your own personal style. In your teens you're going to go for whatever is trendy (and by trendy I mean "out of style next week"). In your twenties you're just trying to figure out who you might someday want to be. By your 30's (and here I mean mid-thirties) you start tossing out the pretenses and really facing yourself in the mirror every day. This is why I'm enjoying my 30's so much - I get to meet me everyday.

OK, you are cooking hot during the daytime I admit, but here in Houston our evening temps plummet all the way to about 80 degrees with drippingly high humidity. I really envy your relatively cool evenings!

And I think the windows (and floors) look faboo!

It sounds like a LOT of us are still trying to figure out what WE like, even at the truly-adult ages of Over Thirty. Thing is, aren't we always changing and growing, sometimes without even knowing it?
I know I've looked at some stuff I've collected over the years (I'll be 40 in a month), stuff I used to LOVE and now I'm like, "eh." That's where decluttering is so important, and self-honesty: get rid of old to make way for the new! But only new stuff you love!
Wow, I sound naggy! But I love your blog, CAP, and I always enjoy reading my fellow-readers!

Valeria, I think it's a difference in what kind of people we are. I'm fascinated that you have the idea I am (or have been) unwilling to take care of myself.

Everyone reads what they want to, I guess. One of the things to keep in mind is that what I write about and choose to share isn't the whole, definitive picture of me as a human being ... it's just a piece of whatever I'm thinking at that time. And I realize people will make assumptions based on how they read it and how I say it. Nothing can be done about that except to shut up altogether I suppose.

But please keep in mind that not wanting to lose my marriage and being "unwilling to take care of myself" are two very VERY different things. It's insulting and annoying to assume that a woman who has a shitty divorce is a weak, awful, pathetic creature.

Dallas Raines is hotter than the Valley-heat. lol.

You are learning what YOU like, which is WAY ahead of a lot of the rest us! Go Purl!

Laurie - love love love the treatments!

Also re: Valeria's comment. I'd have to say that while I am a feminist and a fairly outspoken one at that, many of us did not have families in the 70's that subscribed to that way of thinking. In fact, many of us still don't.

The fighting was worth it, just because it didn't instantly appear to work doesn't make it less worthwhile. In the meantime, grinding your teeth is going to give you a headache. :)

Faith

Thank you Faith, see this means a lot coming from someone who actually knows me :)

Being a feminist and having a shitass divorce aren't mutually exclusive. Just my oh-so-eloquent last two cents on this, which clearly annoyed me and I don't have the class not to show it ;)

No, it isn't strange that you are just now discovering your design style. I think the same would be true of me - *is* in fact true of me. I completely empathize with your friend in her panic to figure out what music she actually likes. I'm in the process of figuring that sort of stuff out too; way too often I've also planned my entire world around a man.

Anyhow - you have been inspiring me left and right for some time now. You are such an amazing writer - I honestly feel as though I know you. I'm sure I'm not alone in this possibly semi-creepy sentiment. Thank you for sharing this journey of yours with us - it's been infinitely good for me to read.

Love, love LOVE your windows!!! Especially the wisteria one. I'm going to try and find some of this stuff to do my bedroom windows!

Linda in VA

Oh I am so glad I am not the only one searching for a personal style. More trying to "define" it. The closest i ever got was rustic/cottage style but that brings in the idea of chintz or tole painted doodads everywhere and baby that ain't me. I have been refining my decor definition to Comfy Cozy...how's that sound? Big blue corduroy Ikea sofa for my naps, gray stone fireplace with woodstove insert, leaf an parchment themed wallpaper, non shiney coffee table and bar hutch in wood...its casual..its comfy..its SO me.

I like the wisteria film. Decorators think far too highly of themselves anyway. Ever since I saw a 'decorator' on Trading Spaces glue straw on the walls of this couple's family room, I have scorned their opinion. Besides, the film comes right off if you get tired of it.

PS They always take down ceiling fans, too. Yes they are ugly, but they do an important job.

Women everywhere ' find themselves ' at many different ages and times in their lives. If you ask me - our dear girl Laurie has been taking care of her big girl self for a loooong time now. She does so in her own way - I love reading about her daily activitites and her own self discoveries in herself. It makes me think of how I arrived at that moment too. We all get there at some point. It doesn't matter which road we take.

I am always worried about what someone else might think of anything I pick for my home, and it's people like my neighbors who I don't even like very much! And, not only am I Over Thirty, I am Over Forty.

I have a window above my sink that has white wood blinds and they are constantly dirty with food, etc., splashed up from the sink. I wonder what one of those cling things would look like there. Maybe I should ask my neighbor, ha ha.

Oh, one more thing, am I the only one who had to google Vladmir Kagen? Cool stuff!

I once used Mardi Gras beads and a curtain rod as a window treatment. The window was behind the kitchen sink and looked out onto a rotting wood fence. It was a major improvement.

I'm getting curtains for my bedroom. This isnt the first time I've picked out curtains, but it is the first time I'm using an actual decorator to pick out the fabric. (I have migraines, and need blackout curtains. dad said he'd pay if I pick out a decent looking fabric. It's his house)

So, the decorator came over the other day with eleventy-thousand books of fabric samples. When I called her up, I gave her a pillow sham and said match this. I like the fabric (microfiber) She comes in with everything BUT what I asked for (solid fabric, no prints, and I want microfiber!)

So, she and her assistant are holding these samples up to my window, and the decorator is saying, "look, these are nice. *I* Approve Of This In Here." Uhhh....what?! *You* Approve? So nice that *you* approve of the fabric and it's weird snake skin print, but it's MY ROOM and MY (Dad's) Money...dont you think that it's more proper that *I* approve of it (and make sure my dad likes it too??)

I'm half tempted to just go get some black paint and paint the window rather than have to deal with that woman...approving what's going in my room. I wonder if they make a blackout version of that window film??

I got talked into accepting a plaid print...which as soon as my dad saw it, he asked if there was anything else I liked. (solid colors) So, I called the woman back and told her I need a solid color, none of this print shit.

I'd love to put some of that window film on my window, but I like to be able to see out my window...plus I dont think it'll keep out enough light in the mornings when my brains are leaking out my nose and ears when I've got a migraine. So, I'm getting my blackout curtains made by decorator lady in a color I approve of, and then I think I'll put some cheesy, kitschy junk on my windowsill to decorate. Something to make the decorator lady gasp in horror and make her run from the house in terror.

I also came of age in the 70's and what's surprising to me is seeing that every generation of women goes though the same "discovery" period, ususally in their 30's. I read your blog and others of women the same age and I see all of you going through the same turmoil I went through at that age. I was a feminist from day one, but I still had to find "myself" amongst all the clutter left from a failed relationship. I wish my experiences could spare you some of the angst but I think we all have to go through it ourselves.

I LOVE your windows!! I'm going to do that to the french doors in my kitchen!!

Honey, some people never find their personal style! Or go through multiple styles in one lifetime. I think that's OK. It shows you are growing and reevaluating and not so afraid of life you get stuck in one place. If you really like something it stands the test of time. If you really like something right now and then "outgrow" it in 5 years, I think that's good too. (As long as you let it go and not stuff it in the attic!) And a pox on HGTV. I think they must have been talking about the really crappy film stuff you can get at the dollar store (you know what I'm talking about), not the nice stuff you got. As you know, what's important is what you like--it's your house and you've got to inhabit it happily!

ah, Laurie, but as a good Texas girl you should know...

"It ain't the heat, dahlin' its the Humidity!"

We were at 105 last week - but only were getting down to the mid 80s at night, and as another blogger I read said, "Stick your face in a cool whip bowl and breathe. That's what the humidity is like."

Love the window treatments. Will search for my own. I bought a house, and have only 1 real curtain rod -t he rest are tension rods. No blinds. Those window decal thingys would look great on my front door windows!

-S

'kay, first, Laurie, awesome job on the windows and a great solution to the privacy thing. I'm plagued with the miniblinds in my place too.

I was born in 1960. My parents were both fairly radical & as feminist as they come, and I have always been too. Yet I am still coming into my own at 47, and I'm thinkin' it's a lifelong process.

I think they call this process "life" but I could be wrong there.

Laurie, to me you have never come across as whatever Valeria said. You have come across as a human being dealing with a nasty divorce not of her own choosing and dealing with it with humor, insight, and wisdom. With large helpings of fiber, cat hair and wine to help you along of course.

As someone who had her own nasty divorce to deal with, I have related to everything you have written. Sometimes one cries. Sometimes one drinks, or calls a friend, or both. One does what is necessary to get through the moment. And that does not have anything to do with functioning as a rational independent human being. It just has to do with healing. Wait, maybe it IS functioning as an independent human being.

Anyway, my point is: You are Woman, Hear you roar!

We hear you roar.
Your number one stalker,
Lyda

I think that designers don't like window treatments like the Wisteria precisely because you can get them for $19.95 at Home Depot.

Oh I do look so forward to reading your blog. I would be Crazy Heather without you! Youare keepign me smiling through my own personal crisis right now.
thanks

It's not strange to be mid-30 and not know who you are totally. I think a lot of us are like that. Or I am wishfully thinking so, so I don't feel alone!
I love the bamboo window! That rocks.

My sister-in-law used the same wisteria clings on her doors and, though I admired it at her house, I didn't love it until I saw yours. And since she doesn't read your blog, I can say that my SIL didn't do such a fantastic job lining up the pattern and making it look so much like stained glass. Hers were a wee bit cock-eyed and maybe had a bit of a bubble here and there. Still, it's nice until you get a close view. Yours, I'm sure, are beautiful at any distance.

And FWIW, I really like the pieces of you that you've chosen to share and only assume the parts you don't share I would like, too. I don't assume to "know" you or to pass judgement on (much less grind my teeth about) your life. I don't have time for that. I have my own issues upon which I need some helpy!

I LOVE your windows. And I don't listen to those HGTV designers unless they're telling me what I want to hear. :)

I don't think I *have* a personal design style, and I am way older than you.

Ok, I have since taken a deep breath (or seven) and had lunch and am now no longer in danger of head popping off like a pimple LOL.

I guess I got so riled up because I am just so tired of having my inventory taken and being found "less than." Lord have mercy if I wanted that I'd get married again! And Valeria I think you made me realize more than ever how important it is for me to be kind and not pass judgements on folks. That is always a good reminder and I need to work at it, too. It sucks being called a loser, even if it's referring to your past. It's like someone saying "Oh! You're not such a fat cow like you used to be!"

I guess in the 1970s my folks were too busy trying to get food on the table to worry about me being a feminist. They did encourage me to be a decent person, though, and to study hard and work hard and stand up for what I believe in even if no one else is standing. When you are from the bottommost rung of the socioeconomic ladder, your most urgent needs ("place to sleep" and "food") sometimes surpass political and cultural movements.

So maybe I don't line up to anyone's definition of feminist but I'm a decent person and I have rockin' kitchen windows. That ain't half bad.

Oh, but now that you've started to define "your style", you have to come to grips with the fact that it is as easy to nail down as jello. Of course, this is the beautiful thing, you will always be defining and redefining it now because it, like you, will continue to evolve. This is only the beginning! Enjoy every minute of it.

Love the window treatments! Dining table and chair are very smart, and look great. Well done on the bargain hunting!

I have been decluttered (in part) by my soon to be ex-husband who removed furniture when I was away at my grandfather's funeral!

But it does mean I have space to look at what remains ... got to look on the bright side ... or i would go loopy.

Mara, I'm sorry. That sucks.

But I love what you said and you're right: it gives you the space to look at what remains. Now *that* you should write down and go back and look at it in three months' time!

You don't have to "be" what someone else thinks you "should" be, anyway. We all have different beliefs, opinions, life experiences, etc., and they shape us in unique ways. Sometimes you do what you have/need to in order to get through a crisis. Believe me, I understand! I've been through my own nasty divorce many years ago and then a horrible split from a cheating, lying, backstabbing, chlamydia-giving boyfriend after that. (oops! bitter much?) :)

Anyway, Laurie, I'm another one who has never read into your posts anything other than a wonderful woman trying to heal and find her way through a mess. And to whatever degree a feminist you are is your own business.

Is he doing the 'put the lime in the coconut' dance from Practical Magic? o.0

I am so proud of you. I guess my style is cat hair. Don't judge me.

I love you Laurie, and your feminist self. You go girl!

PS: On a totally different subject...I don't know if you ever listen to "This American Life" on NPR but there was a great one recently about breakups. One of the segments was about a woman who wrote a "love hurts"-type song about the hurt of breaking up, with input from Phil Collins. It was an amusing and tender story. It reminded me of you because she was able to find a creative outlet for her hurt, as you have. Although I would say that a book being published is far greater than writing a song that Phil Collins listened to once. (Do I make any sense???)

Cheers babydoll! Stay cool!

"Feminism" is a completely different concept than it was in the 1970s. Laurie, I would be proud to raise a daughter with such strength and stamina. If I taught a womens' issues course, I'd list your "taking my divorce papers out for a drive" post as required reading. Rock on with your bad self.

Life is distracting sometimes, so self discovery (and everything else) is pushed to the back seat. So glad you're getting a chance to get back to you.

Neat to read everyone's comments. I have the opposite problem, I'm 37 and am in my first live-in relationship. My tastes and preferences are so fixed I'm having trouble feeling at home in my apartment, even though my partner is very flexible and generally willing to bend. I love him, but I feel more and more that I would like (?need?) to live with him 50% of the time, and alone the other 50%. It has been a startling realization. After being single or having more casual relationships for so long, I thought this stage would be like a tall drink of water on a long day.

The grass is *always* greener.

Did you copy Drew?

I used to want to copy everything you did because I think you are the coolest but now I am realizing I have to find my own way, my own cool way.

What works for you may not be what works for me and that is okay.

And I still think you are the coolest!

Hi Laurie -

The windows look great. The floors are fabulous. I love it all.

Re: What Valeria said - I think she may be missing the point of what you're posting about. I read it as having more to do with the changing and growing ideas of what "taking care of yourself" means in a personal sense. When you were married, you took care of your husband, and that filled in the "taking care of yourself" space nicely, since if he was happy, you both were happy, and your happiness was intrinsically tied to that scenario. We all go through this kind of thing in some way (divorce, kids moving out, big life changes, etc.). And I think the really successful people (and by successful I mean happy) figure out exactly what you're figuring out. Yes, feminism espouses the ideals you're striving for, but it's not that simple. Not putting feminism down here, I am and always will be a feminist, but personal growth is just that - personal - and labels rarely do the thing justice. Just as a blog, as you rightly pointed out, rarely does justice to the whole picture of one's life.

Keep up the good work. I find you inspirational.

Vouching for HOT IN THE VALLEY....

http://jillieofthevalley.vox.com/library/post/in-which-we-celebrate-the-earning-of-a-name-1.html

LOVE your window film.

psychomom ... I sent Drew pictures a few weeks ago and he liked it so much that now we're window-twins! It makes me very happy. I'm going to see him in houston in six weeks and I plan to make him take my picture in front of his wisteria windows, then when he comes here in January he has to stand in front of mine ... because I am a big photo dork. (I'm the person who drove to Hamburg, germany just so I could get a picture of me eating a HAMBURGer in Hamburg. I thought this was hysterical! The ex, not so much. Which explains why I did not get the frankfurter in frankfurt photo ... yet...)

JC ... yes, exactly, exactly. It's a personal growth thing, thank you.

Laurie Villa. Sounds good!

I just started reading your blog today, and I started at the beginning. I've made it through the serving of your divorce papers and co-worker's wedding. And thanks, because I just got divorced, and it sucks, and you put it all into words. The week before my 18th anniversary, after spending the weekend with my family, laughing, making small talk, and taking family photos, he came home from work, and said he had decided he didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. Decided? What, did he use a spreadsheet? No, wait, he probably did. And we were divorced 6 months to the day after that, which is the quickest you can do it in my state. And that first day, after spending a sleepless night,and calling in sick, and plastering on tons of make-up to cover the circles under my eyes, and crying for hours on my pastor's shoulders, I looked at her, and said, "You know what? Every cloud has a silver lining, and he has severe allergies, and now at least after all these years I can get a cat, or 2, or several." So thank you for listening to my story and making me laugh, and realize it's not so bad being a divorced crazy cat lady that occasionally knits!

Jillie, it's so hot that last night when I got home I found two of my formerly alive plants totally crisped up. CRAZY hot!

I watered the peppers though. Can't let those suckers die!!!

Oh by the way ... is anyone else watching HGTV's Design Star??? I will admit to being sad to seeing Sparkle Josh go but I was literally cheering for Kim for handling Robb so well. I think the blonde surfer did will win, though. And I loved last season so much more... love that David Bromstad....

Hmm, my new bathroom just might need some of this stuff. Great idea!

I had a neighbor who spent all day in her driveway. Every morning no matter the weather (I live in Ohio) she dragged a lawn chair into her driveway. Presumably it was to watch her kids play outside. I heard the kids ask to go inside but she always told them no. Her M.O. was to sit in her driveway and watch all the neighborhood comings and goings. If she didn't know the true story, she made one up. You wouldn't even *believe* some of the stories she cooked up. She was one strange person.

I'm 37 and I don't know what my true style is. I'm hoping to find it when we can finally buy new furniture this winter. I've always decorated in "whatever the budget will allow which isn't much". The debts are all paid and darn it I'm going to get what I truly want this time.

I *love* your window film; now I know what I'll be doing this weekend.

And frankly, I think you're perfect just the way you are.

I'd love to watch it but hubby thinks it's stupid. Hmph!

I have driveway neighbors, too! It's the weirdest thing. Most (all?) have little kids and are watching them play during the day, etc, but they also set up small TVs in the garage and lawn chairs on the driveway and watch the game! Outside! By themselves! And one of our neighbors even bought little Barbie-pink mini lawn chairs so their kids can also sit on the driveway. It's really odd.

OMG, thank you! That window film is exactly what I need for my bathroom windows, and I had no idea it existed. Everybody else in my building apparently got mini-blinds for their bathroom windows, but ours have been bare since we moved in. We've made do with a chunk cut out of the plastic our mattress was wrapped in, duct-taped to the wall above the window for almost two years now. There's not even hardware to hang curtains from, and we never wanted to drill holes in the wall to put some there.

Off to Home Depot! :D

What nice window treatments!

It is your house, and your life. More power to ya!

A friend of mine said that he didn't feel like he really grew up until he was in his 30s. He finally settled into his life of being a dad, a husband, a worker, a person.

I have come to the belief that every generation of women, every generation of immigrants, every generation of _________ all have to learn from experience. We all have to reinvent the wheel of our life. There is no way of avoiding it.

Thank you for sharing the insecurities that many of us feel, regardless of age, gender, etc.

Holly, it also comes in a plain frosted-glass variety, so if you want something sleek but still giving privacy, that one might work really well :)

I think I need some of that window film for my basement craft room window - do you get a lot of light through the wisteria pattern? I'm tired of looking at all the outside spider/cobwebs and spider egg cases (YUCK - but at least they are outside).

Dallas Raines - now there's a face I haven't seen in AGES! Thanks for the memories. :-D (I lived in SoCal in the 80s & 90s, and I miss it sometimes - especially in January when it's -20 degrees.)

I love the window film idea. You might be interested to know (or more likely, already know) that the design is heavily influenced by L.C. Tiffany's Wisteria window:
http://www.fineartinvestments.org/inc/ArtGlass/windows/LouisCTiffanyWisteriaWindow.htm

LOVE Design Star!!!!!

I don't know what it is about those competition shows, love them!!!! Project Runway, Top Chef, Shear Genius, hell I even loved "Craft Corner Death Match" which was funny as hell but was canceled after on season.

I am totally in Love with Surfer Dude Todd, he is is a design world of his own and he can do back flips! Marry Me Todd!

Thank God Robb was canned, what an ass and yes Kim did way better handling him. I would have slapped him silly.

CL -- I get a lot of light through it, but then again that's the side of the house where the sun beats down half the day. The bamboo lets a ton of light in, too, since it's mostly frosted (but it's on a darker side of the house.)

kmkat, that link was so interesting!

I have the lick and stick (thats what i call it) windo art on my bathroom window.the purple orchid one)My window above my tub was bare as the day I was born we had to cover it with something. I now refer to it as my southern exposure window since we live int he south.
ps I added two small round holes side by side so I could peep out whenever nessary.

I have that wisteria window vinyl in my bathroom and I love it!! When it's dark out and I have the light on in the bathroom it looks like a stained glass window from the outside.

Love the stick-on windows! Makes it look like a Tiffany window!

I hear you on the style thing...for a long time I thought my style was modern but then I realized it's just what I was brought up with. Now I really am into Victorian and eclectic "antiques."

Thanks Laurie! Oooo - just ran across the "Watercolors" pattern - that would so go with my Monet theme I have going in that room. Wonder if DH has left town yet, and I can convince him to go to Home Depot for me....

I'm really enjoying your home improvement stuff - I need to do something here but I can't figure out what. I would so love to replace the carpet with wood floors, but the dogs need the carpet, so that can't go. :-(

I love your writings and your humor. You make me think AND laugh - a wonderful combination. Thank you Laurie! :-D

On a more serious note it seems as if Roy's passing has liberated you somewhat. As though as you were nursing his illness, you were also nursing or finding your own way.

And when you remember your old-man cat, I hope it is with great love and not in any way associated with your old ways and life.

You're gettin' all growed up now.

Miss you, Roy.............mwah!

Don't care just do you! I love your dining set and the windows are cute although I couldn't cause I want to be able to see out clearly. I would have opted for curtains. ;)

Your friend and music brings to mind Julia Roberts in The Runaway Bride and eggs.

Hope all is well!

Hey Laurie, I love, love, love the wisteria. Also, I can totally relate to changing your style with every man, except for me it's my politics and religion. Yikes! (At least I don't have to declutter that)

Shari, after Roy passed on I went into a real serious funk. I still miss him so much every day I just hurt.

I was in a bad place, his death created such a horrible void and I honestly think I fell into a depression. So working on the house was my way of getting myself out of depression. I just felt myself sliding into a really bad place and needed to try something, anything, to stop it.

I miss him every day. But at least now I'm not bawling myself to sleep at night and I'm back to being functional, so I guess the housework is achieving its goal.

Lovely lovely windows. And regarding the handyman service, there's one out here called Rent-a-Husband or doing stuff around the house. But you've already shown you don't need it. :)

I think you're right on schedule with the personal style epiphany. You're all grown up now. Makes a difference. I'm on the same schedule. I finally don't give a crap if something appeals to a man or not. And my apt. looks amazing. Finally!

And I LOVE that sofa - thanks for identifying it. Has such a chill vibe while looking super cozy.

Laurie, I'm afraid you and others took what I said the wrong way. I derived the "unwilling" bit from reading your blog and your account of marrying someone you seemed to say you weren't deeply in love with.
And I kept reading your blog and not saying anything until now, when I told you how I had felt at different junctures reading your blog and I could say something about it now because you're clearly outgrowing those things and it's a phase to be happy about.
I admit I come from a different cultural matrix - my father was a career Army officer and my mother was a reference librarian who went back to work when I was in jr. high - but she was also a tough, capable lady who managed home, hearth and job while my father was half a world away. So I grew up with an different sense of female competence than a lot of my generation. Heck, Daddy made us learn to change a tire before he let us get a learner's permit so I find myself appalled at my young neighbor who doesn't even know where her jack is ...

Hi Laurie,

I hear you about being tired of having your inventory taken and found to be 'less than.' It's so damn frustrating to be told a variant of 'It's so nice you're making progress on all your issues!' or 'I'm so glad you're not ruining your life anymore.' Grr.

The wisteria looks really cool, btw.

I like your window treatments too. Designers only like things that fit in with their particular taste anyway and they don't live at your house.

Just a quick FYI, salt cuts through most grease. Even old nasty stove grease. You mix up hot water with a crapload of salt and then you can soak things like maybe the glassware on the top of the cupboards over your stove that might have ancient greasy cobwebs on them. Not that I would know anything about that. Works good.

Dorothy! Where were you when I moved into this house with it's nasty horrible greasy icky kitchen?! Salt! Whodathunk it!?

Laurie - I am so impressed with what you've done with your place. And who cares what some TV celebrity interior designer thinks. If you like it, that's all that counts. And if you change your mind in 6 months time, that is fine too.

patchouli - YUCK!

your windows are fab - i've got friends who used a very similar pattern (i think ours was a grape viney sort of thing)

and my family always had a a saying: if you're coming to see me, come any time. if you're coming to see my house, make an appointment!

Laurie I love your new windows, and floor and table set! You go girl! I think the window clings are very pretty for being so thrifty, too They seem to replicate stained glass, which I love the look of.

Good job on trying to find your own style and/or what YOU LIKE, not what everyone else likes... I am stuck here in a design rut with what my ex left here after I kicked him out... he didn't want to keep any of it and I frankly didn't have a lot of my own stuff (or money) to replace it if he did take it.

I also need to give you props on that art above your dining table ... very motivating and beautiful at the same time :)

Hey, I'm in my late forties and I'm just finding out my design style. No more pleasing anyone but me. You go with your bad modern-hippie-Moroccan avec cat-hair self, girl!

so there's any a 2 degree difference between "extreme heat" and "very hot." wow.

also, your low temps are about the same as ours.

I like the window coverings but i am curious to see what it looks from the outside?

I just love how it came out! If it didn't clash with my almost 200 year old Colonial house.. I would be all over that stuff.

laurie--it's called grieving over what is lost and you DID take care of yourself. You may have cried every day for months, cussed, screamed, smoked and had wine, but you did not lay down and give up. You didn't when Mr. X left and you didn't when Roy passed on. You probably wanted to go to bed and pull the cover over your head and stay there--been there done that--but instead you got up, took care of Roy and the gang and went to work to keep the gang in litter and Kitty Chow. It take guts!! And honey, you've got them. Someone who is not learning more about themselves and growing and changing every day is some one I don't care to spend much time with--or is dead!! Your home is your rest from the world--so who care's what they think??!! But, my 2 cents thinks your resting place is looking pretty GROOVY!

Hate me if you must, but I insist that you would look darling in long, wispy, side-swept bangs, not terribly unlike some of your early pix.

Laurie, how I love this post. Finding my own style is a struggle for a different reason -- not built around a man but built in a manner of pleasing others by being the default repository of deceased relatives' belongings. The only furnishings in this house that we bought ourselves are the coffee table, the futon in the spare bedroom, the stools for the kitchen bar and a couple of bookcases.

My mom is 79 and is finally finding her own personal style after Katrina -- not her mother's style, or her grandmother's. She has unloaded a lot from the Museum of Ancestral Stuff. It's a joy to watch her redo her house.

As a New Englander, I just have to comment on the weather. We were in New Mexico last week and saw at least 108 degrees... you get thirsty very fast, but as long as you have a bottle(s) of water in hand, it is very bearable... we came home around 10:30 p.m. and it was only about 78 degrees by that time,(after being about 95 during the day), and with the humidity, it just feels nasty, yucky, sticky, don't want to move nasty... the 78 at night out here was much worse than the 108 midday out there... just saying..

Also, love the windows!

I may have to go buy some of that for the windows of the tiny stuido that I am renting. My view is of a tool shed and this is pretty! Thanks!

I love you! I adore you! you've solved my window problem!!!!
Since I moved into this house, I've wanted stained glass in my front window. But.. I have this 1/2 round thing at the top. ... which is not the size of any reasonably priced (read cheap) stained glass windows I can buy to put there.
I've despaired, as I can't afford the umpteen thousand dollars it would take to get custom windows for that room.
ArtFilm! who knew!!!/??? thank you thank you!

ok...just got caught up here...now, I think most of us (of the self-helpy variety, that is) may recognize a little strain of PROJECTING!? Hmmmm!?

Laurie, if favorite blogs were body parts, you would be BIG BALLS! You inspire me to hustle, take charge, be independent and overcome, just like you always have when life threw you a big steamer.

Oh, and you inspired me to knit too. Thanks for THAT little addiction. I'm halfway thru my second scarf. Seed stitch. No mistakes so far! Weeee!

Our decor is Early American Dorm Room. And we are 49 and 50 years old. Of course, I am the younger one.

Congrats! I think they look darling. :)

I love the new window treatments. I have actually thought of getting them. Who cares what HGTV designers say - I like them.

The winders look purty.

I have the same birdy string with bell! Oh happy bell!

You're just digging into all the good stuff of you, Laurie. Keep up the good work!

XXOO

My DEAR! You know how they say you never really know who someone is on the innernet? Well, I DO believe you're you, and those pictures are you, but honestly otherwise I'd think you're a very old very clever very perceptive old lady. You, at your age, represent the Last Tad of the '50s Idea of Womanhood. You've successfully beaten it, and the girls in high school today won't have any of it and before long you'll only find that kind of thinking in antique stores.

Thanks for the tip about that window stuff, I am SO going to look for some. My house is MY NEST - my place to read and knit and watch movies and nosh and sleep (and coincidentally the same for Mr. Dearling, into which each other's way we manage not to get). It's Early Student Housing-Mid Salvation Army in style, with vast accents of Leftovers. But it's frightfully clutter-y, and when I'm back from our trip-to-Colorado-to-see-a-wedding-and-yarn-crawl-and-hike, I'm going to tackle it. Now I can go read all the other comments......

You've done a great job with some great ideas!

If you have a window glazed with privacy glass or you want to retain optimum light but still decorate it, find a window film pattern with a short repeat-floral or something. You can cut a wide border out of it, cut around the flowers for a decorative edge (piece as necessary) and just frame the window glass with color. Also, if during your projects you absolutely, positively have to clean the darn something or other, look into buying some Extreme Simple Green. It's not available everywhere. I've found it listed at Good Sam's (but you have to buy it in the store) and bought it from Aircraft Spruce (aircraftspruce.com which is an aircraft supply store) online. This stuff actually works. It destroys nothing, cleans everything, is dilutable if you have to, and full strength gets that strange orangey kitchen stuff almost as well as the late lamented Easy Off Kitchen Cleaner (which they took off the market after one year for heavenknowswhatreason and before I could snap up several cases). Go to Simple Green's site for more cleaning testimonials.

One of my neighbors is a big fan of the decorative window film. I've debated about doing the same.

Oh my. Those windows are gorgeous. The windows I needed to 'cover' were a bathroom window RIGHT beside the tub and 3 tiny windows in the front door.

What I did was use Gallery Glass 'paints' which I was turned onto by watching QVC one night. [I no longer watch QVC. Those bastids cost me money every time I go there!]

I'm not extremely artistic [God invented rulers for ME] and they are available at most craft stores.

As it is, I've spent WAY more than $19.95 on all my colors and stuff, but I've created a LOT of neat pictures for people by using glass or plastic in frames and tracing pictures then coloring them in.

So, if there's folks out there that don't like the available patterns they might like to check out the Gallery Glass and create their own window treatments.

Laurie, I was a bra burner, and girl, not ONCE did I ever EVER! think anything about you but that you were a woman finding her own way. That is what real feminism is about; you can be whatever you want to be.

When I was a little girl, and John Glenn went into space, I told my mother, "I want to be an astronaut." She said, "Girls can't be astronauts."

I was still at an age where MOTHERS KNEW EVERYTHING and everything they spoke was the God's Honest Truth, so I gave up my dream.

Imagine the tears [of joy and sorrow] I shed when Sally Ride went into space.

To me, feminism means that a woman is absolutely free to do whatever she wants--whether that is making a home for a man and being Mrs. Cleaver or being Gloria Steinem.

She just doesn't have to do what she thinks SOCIETY wants her to do.

And YOU, girl, ARE a feminist; you are supporting yourself [AND your creatures!] and not living under Mom and Dad's roof [not that there's anything wrong with that if that is what you need and/or want to do] and that sort of makes my point.

You can live any goddamned way you please, and I, having burned some bras in MY time, see nothing wrong with anything you are doing, and nothing has EVER set my 'feminism radar' off.

Of course, before I ever commented here I read every damn thing in your archives.

Some other people might want to consider that shit before replying about the hoops of fire you have passed through.

Love ya babe. Keep on keeping on.
.

I was walking along the local creek today, debating whether the window film will stick to storm window vinyl stuff. I so want the wisteria one! I've been eyeballing it for hmm a whole 6 weeks now. But I then thought I could do window clings myself - you can get the stuff in craft stores. Decisions decisions.
My vote is it is great!
I love the way that one degree fahrenheit is the difference between very hot and extreme heat (or maybe they got bored writing extreme heat).

I personally love how 101 degrees is "just" very hot, not extreme heat. I live in Sweden, and last night when I walked home, at like 9 pm or so, it was freaking 45 degrees.

Reading your blog and the comments makes me always feel like being part of what seems to be a woman´s world. A secret one, none that my mother has ever told me of. It´s all about loving yourself, caring for you at least as much as you ever cared for a man in your life. This includes decluttering your house, filling it with things that make you smile. After reading your blog for some months, I now see my home as part of me- and it truly shows how I am feeling towards myself. If chaos reigns in my home, then there is much of this inside me. And vice versa.
Beautiful windows, btw... :-))

Love your (re)decorating style with the L.R. floor, the dining table and chairs, and the window treatments.

I especially like that you pointed out by not smoking you have freed up money to take your ideas to reality. I know the floor and windows didn't cost that much but I also like to think that by not smoking you had more stamina for that gigantic floor project.

And once you got that creativity going, it really went to a great place.

Wow, I really like the look of the window films, and you did a great job measuring, cutting and installing them. I'll have to think about doing something like that, though I have very long, wide windows in living room and kitchen. :)
Tina

You've hit the nail on the head here Purl, about being yourself. My living room is decorated with oil paintings and photos on glass of Paris. Nice Paris nicknacks everywhere. People who visit just *love* it. But they always shoot sidelong glances at the huge 3000 pc Lego Starwars X-wing fighter, or the 3-D Lego Yoda sculpture on the entertainment center. hee hee(just a big kid at heart)

It looks sorta stain-glassy. That's cool! And I bet the colors coming through the window panes in sunny weather (duh, everyday!) are awesome. The cats can now bathe themselves in colored sunlight.

Talk about timing, I've found your blog just I have developed "nesting instinct" and started turning my, also rented, house into a home. It's reassuring seeing that I'm not the only one looking at each room with a newly critical eye, and thinking, just what piece of science fiction happened for me to spend money on THAT! re your new discovery of Kim & Aggie, we've had them in the UK for some time, did you know they have a book, full of supper, and mainly safe, environmentally friendly cleaning tips,
The Cleaning Bible (KIM AND AGGIE'S COMPLETE GUIDE TO MODERN HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT)

Oh and re; feminism and people fighting, Valerie was right, she was fighting for nothing, if people still can't have choice in their life! I'm 24 and would give anything to be able to just be a housewife and mother, but to many of the "old style we fought in the 70's for your rights feminists" this is tantamount to sacrilege. Point being, feminism has jack to do with who we are and who we want to be, and you Laurie, are quite simply inspirational, and that beats the hell out of being feminist any day!

Love the window treatments!

Go Laurie, go Laurie, go go go Laurie! Whoot! Good for you. Love the window film, so happy that you are being true to you...it's the best place to be.

Love the window treatments. I have the bamboo on my office door at work and I used to have the wisteria in the bathroom of the last place we lived in. HGTV be damned!

So great - love your phases of Decorating Style. "Hello, there Dallas Raines!" - That's no tan, that's Baked Alaskan Weatherman.

Don't worry about being in your mid-thirties and just now coming into your own. Took me until age 50, when I looked at my life and, what I hope, the 20-30 years that remain, and I rebelled. Not gonna live with suck-the-life-right-out Mr. Man. Enuf, says I! Two years post-divorce, and I feel like I can finally breathe. Don't gotta 'splain myself to anyone, anymore!

To keep on keeping on and sharing with the rest of us! We is women, hears us roar!

My husband was watching the news last night when he exclaimed "Poor Aunt Purl!" He was watching the LA weather and was thinking of you!

Thanks for your blog today, it put a smile on my face. I'm glad someone else has a similar relationship to decorating.

I can totally relate. I was (if you remember, because I know you are all keeping track): just cheated on, dumped, and kicked out by my boyfriend. At 33, I was homeless and didn't own ANY furniture, linens, or household items of my own. I moved back home for a month and have spent the last month in my own apartment.

When I moved, my mother was such a hassle. She wanted everything to be exactly what I wanted for the apartment, no compromises. I was heartbroken at the time, and didn't really care what color to choose for a microwave. But now, that I'm over most of the shock and sadness, I find such joy in every cat-fur covered detail of my apartment.

Getting ready to meet my mom for lunch last week, it took me so long to get ready, because everywhere my eye rested was something that was just for me. All of the books in the bookcases are my favorites. The furniture is all new, all matches, and all of my choosing. My apartment is decorated in colors that I like, and is kept clean and clutter free because that soothes my soul. And yes, I bought a chair just for knitting! My apartment is almost masturbatory. Ok, no, it is. And I love it. And each night when I come home from my stressful job, when the kitties meet me at the door with their demands, I lock each of the four locks with satisfaction.

And the microwave? Bright red. My kitchen is black and white, and every time I walk by, I smile at the sexy red race-car of a microwave.

Poor Valeria - she thinks the women's movement failed because Crazy Aunt Purl went through a miserable divorce and felt bad about it! She would probably pass out if she knew that I chose to quit job and stay home with my kids.

The women's movement is about women having the right to make choices, Valeria, not about thinking every woman should make the same choices you've made.

By the way, I also know how to change a tire. And how to change my oil, and I once replaced an engine gasket all by myself. No need to be appalled by the likes of me!

Quit MY job, I mean. (Don't want anyone to think I've forgotten how to speak English while sitting around watching the stories and eating chocolates. Ha ha!)

OK, Valeria's comments annoyed me, too.

I'm 43, and a feminist, and I spent a good part of my 20s and 30s trying to make a home for a husband I loved very, very much (and working full-time while he completed a Ph.D. and worked part-time.) Women have a tendency to want to nurture the ones they love, and sometimes that means you push aside what you want to make your loved ones happy - and let's face it, society encourages that tendency. Anyone else notice how often women who stand up for themselves are called "Bit--es?" Or told that they're being "selfish" when they do something just for them?

It's a difficult thing to balance looking out for your needs and doing something nice for a loved one. I don't regret the things I did for my ex-husband - I loved him. But I also think I made the most out of the post-divorce years, and I'm getting married to a man who is a certified grownup who makes sure my needs are met as well as his.

Laurie, you're doing just fine. You can't change the past, anyway. All you can do is make the most of every new day you have, which is what you ARE doing.

And I am AMAZED at those window treatments! Who knew?

Hugs to you, kiddo.

hey laurie, are you going to go to the aiga "next" conference? my husband did the logo for it and he's having a studio party (check out his website: www.artandanthropology.com). you can come to denver and get the best of both worlds - knitting and design!!! we'd love to have you in the big D town...lots of yarn shops, and it's not 104 degrees.

Being able to change a tire has nothing to do with being a feminist. A true feminist is someone who believes she is as valuable as any other person, regardless of gender, and is working to become the person she wants to be on the terms that she has decided make the most sense for her. I do understand that Valeria meant to leave a compliment. But any one woman who believes that another is not a feminist because the two do not define themselves in the same way and pursue the same lifestyle has missed the point, and did, indeed, fight for nothing.

I can't change a tire, but I will always be driving a car with good tires - because I have decided that it's important to me and figured out how to accomplish it.

I guess my bra is only singed. ;-) And I've dicided I like it that way.

Laurie, I can see from your comments that by sharing some of your struggles you have been an inspiration to women of many backgrounds and situations. Decorate on!

I thoroughly enjoy the window film and POOP! to anyone who doesn't. Just cuz they're on TV doesn't make them Window Treatment Deities. Rock on, Laurie!

Hey Laurie,
Kudos for standing up for yourself in your comments section. You ROCK. As usual. Also, I'll say it again, those are some sexy wood floors you uncovered, cleaned, and polished. Not a bad metaphor for some of our lives. Sometimes we end up covered in cruddy carpet with a bunch of tacks.... needless to say, removing that stuff takes some serious effort. End result: Priceless!

Yeah, it's hot where you are, but don't knock our east coast heat waves. See what the thermometer reading of 95F isn't telling you is the heat index addition of the warm, wet wool, blanket feeling that the humidity adds to the mix - 95 degrees plus 90% humidity equals "it feels like" 102 degrees. And we don't cool off to 70 degrees at night; during our east coast heat waves, you're lucky if it reaches 80 degrees at about 3 am, before it resumes the "oh my god, the air is so thick you can almost drink it, except it's too hot" feeling.

DEcided, DEcided!!! Ach! Why don't comment boxes include spell checkers?! Because I didn't decide to spell "decided" as "dicided." I'm better at looking after my tires, really, I am.

Those window treatments look great. I have @$$hole neighbors and that would be a perfect solution to keep me from seeing their mess. You're doing wonderful on your home re-decor.

OMG, I sit in the driveway in a lawn chair! But it really is because I'm watching my kids, I swear! They're only 5 & 8, they can't be outside without an adult, so I pull up my lawn chair and flip through catalogs. Sometimes I even drink wine.

I don't care what designers say. Window clings are awesome. In my old apartment, they were the best option for my bathroom window since it was right next to the shower. They don't mold and are easy to clean. Not all of us have the option of etching cream damn it!

I ripped up my cat-hairy smelly carpet in June. Sweet youngest brother ran a floor sander to try to get rid of stains. I ended up getting area rugs to cover bad spots. Wish I had done it 5 years ago, but sometimes you have to gather your courage before taking a big step like a divorce or carpet ripping or getting a kitten. Hope your book tour comes to Cleveland!

Laurie, I think so many of us adjust our taste to suit our mates. We want to please. Or to not be made fun of, as in my case. When I left my husband, I left most everything with him, because it was HIS taste and HIS choice, not mine. I moved into a fully furnished house, and got rid of stufff. I am currently trying to sell this house and move into a new one, miles away. When I do that, I am taking the barest of furniture, only my favorite chair. ANd from there, I will only get things I really like. But sometimes what we like now, we lose our love for in a few years. That is ok, we evolve, and we change.

As for the tv decorators- I always thought it was funny when one guy went in and painted stripes,a nd on another show, a different guy would go in and be horrified at the stripes on the walls. If they think of it, it is cool. If someone else does, it is tacky.

You are fabulous, darlin'.

Cats are so pawerfully helpful, aren't they :)

Love all of the pictures of your redecorating projects and taking control of your environment, Laurie. You're doing a bang up job. I also appreciate the step-by-step information you're giving us.

As far as feminism goes, I think we're all learning what works for us.

I will say, though, I don't ever wanna go back to what it was like before "liberation." If you need a picture of that, you only have to watch a couple of episodes of "Mad Men" on AMC to see how far we've come. Women had very little control over anything until just recently. It's nice that we have gotten to where we have more choices, but we shouldn't forget how we got here.

That said, I never thought you were saying you had to have a man in your life to be whole, I thought you were sharing your grieving process with us. And sharing it in a very eloquent manner, too.

Just so you won't be bored, your tastes may change down the road. Mine did. But what's wrong with new furniture 20 years down the road? I went from early american to victorian antiques, to modern. And I'm still working on it! My MIL just moves when she wants to redecorate. But it always looks the same to me. And I have the watercolor window covering in my bathroom and I love it. It replaced mini blinds too.
Looking very good, Laurie.
cc

I love your window treatments! Very pretty. Who cares what those HGTV designers say...they come up with some ugly-ass designs, anyway. When I got divorced after 20 years and had my own place, I loved the freedom I had to do whatever I wanted without getting a husband's permission or opinion. It's a wonderful, freeing feeling. Now I'm remarried six years and compromising again, but luckily our tastes are very similar. I love following your home decorating saga...you are doing a fine job! I can feel your joy, and I'm so happy for you.

Love your windows!

Beth M, you're right, of course - feminism has nothing to do with being able to change your tires. I was just alerting Valeria to the concept that there are women who make different choices than hers, can be considered feminists just the same, and can whoop her behind in a tire-changing contest. (She staaaaarted it.) :)

Hey! I almost worked for Artscapes! They're a small company based out of Portland, I was interviewing for the Executive Assistant to their CEO... I decided he was a little to anal retentive for my taste in bosses.

Great company though. It's a really wonderful product. Looks beautiful on your windows too... don't listen to some stupid-o from HGTV.

I used the faux stuff in the "offwhite, not quite marble" for the one window that gets great light in my tiny apartment-- and has a herd of college boys looking up through it from their back patio. It is WONDERFUL STUFF. And you know-- I am having the same experience, post-divorce (I'm 29, does that count as "in your 30's?")-- It is amazing to learn that I like pink, and red, and the blue and green (my ex only liked army colors- yuck!)... I find that my clothes and my livingroom have both changed for the better as I learn what *I* like. Glad to find it's not just me going through this. --Thanks.

A Message in a bottle (Merlot, that is) from The Bide-A-Wee Rest Home. I may well be at the top of the ladder in age to leave a note here. I'll be 66 in January, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that there are no road maps and that everyone's way is different. I also know that I don't know a lot of things, that life throws us some awful curves at times and we are often left barely standing. I have so much still to learn and to figure out. I used to think, ages ago, that everything would become clear when I turned 21. It's still not clear, but I guess I am more comfortable with the "unclearness". I am still trying to grow up and am still evolving.
I love reading your posts and you have moved me to tears, you have made me laugh, you have allowed me, a stranger, to feel a sense of pride...in you. I hope that that is not too presumptuous of me. I think you have displayed tremendous courage. Your kindness and caring shines through and your ability to laugh and poke fun of yourself is such a strength. I love your humor and that you never use it to hurt or denigrate. Thanks so much for sharing snippets of your life with me. I wish you the best in all things. I wish you continued success and comfort. You are something special!

You tricked me...the title of the day said "hot, handyman..."

I was looking for information on a hot handyman!

Your place is looking fantastic...keep it up.

"It didn't help that my first apartment out here was so tiny you could make dinner while showering and answer the front door all at the same time"

Buwhaahaahaaa, that was hilarious and reminded me of my first apartment after college.

The windows look really nice and still allow a lot of light in as well.

Awwww...Bob tail, what a cutie. :-)

To hell with HGTV- Viva La Window Film!

I read your (as usual) funny post, and came here to comment about Dallas Raines. Then I read through the comments. Ellen Kelley's comment is pretty much why I love your blog so . . .
She wrote:

". . . I love reading your posts and you have moved me to tears, you have made me laugh, you have allowed me, a stranger, to feel a sense of pride...in you. I hope that that is not too presumptuous of me. I think you have displayed tremendous courage. Your kindness and caring shines through and your ability to laugh and poke fun of yourself is such a strength. I love your humor and that you never use it to hurt or denigrate. Thanks so much for sharing snippets of your life with me. I wish you the best in all things. I wish you continued success and comfort. You are something special!"

Ditto, chickadoodle. She said it exactly like I would've (you know, falsely assuming I could express myself as eloquently!)

The parts you share, warts 'n all, sound like many of my friends and even me too.

Oh. and . . . is Dallas Raines STILL a weatherman in L.A.? Good Gravy that man must have been middle-aged back when I lived in The Valley (fer shur, fer shur) in the early 80's!! Bree Walker, (her then husband) Jim Lampley, Hal Fishman - ahhh, good times.

Even Mark & Brian were on the air back then. Jeez, I just realized I lived there when Penguin's Frozen Yogurt came to town and we'all thought it was the best thing since parachute pants and "Jump" by Van Halen!

Still love Van Halen, frozen yogurt and Mark & Brian, but I wouldn't want to be that same girl again in a squillion years.

Living life 'out loud' and taking ownership of it is a pretty cool concept. Thank you for putting that part of yourself out there for the public to read, and in my case, adopt, as a part of a new way of being.

Way to go phoenix girl! Out of the ashes of grief and loss, you are emerging. And it's a you that has grown and changed. It's kind of fun getting to know yourself again--and it's strange to be able to live "It's all about you".

Rejection in any form is horrible. It leaves an enormous hole. Yuck!

I read in some woman's SH book that a woman goes through several "seasons" (periods sounded...so...). Something like every 7-ish years. Hopefully the next one will be not be the "death" of something but the "birth" of something else.

On grieving Roy-I'm holding out for the day the you can remember Roy for his loyalty and companionship. Without meaning to be metaphysical: he was your friend through so much BIG stuff and he saw you through it all and into your new life, new space and renewed strength. In his mind he had accomplished everything that he ever wanted.

Fiber, felines and needles-close to perfect. Add food, fromage and fermented grape, it's a pretty good life.

I love the artscapes on your windows, and I want some too. What I think after 33 years of marriage is that sharing your space with someone means compromising your style to accomodate some of theirs, so neither person is really happy with the look but you can both live with it. It seems that every woman I know changes a lot of what she is, to fit in with her mate. Human nature maybe?

I saw that HGTV show, too. HGTV is not always right.

You're so right on with this post. I'm so there. In the process of selling my (formerly 'our') 1920 craftsman nightmare in order to purchase a loft. Goodbye fireplaces, coving and f-ing pretentious 'arts and crafts' prints.. hello minimal walls, bare brick and a tub I can swim in. A sofa to sleep on, not perch on the end of while sipping tea.
I don't think thats its because we don't know our minds, or that we're so focused on pleasing our 'menfolk'.. jeez I didn't get married until I was 32 and I was very very single until then. Its more that my personal style tended to be a reflection of who I wanted to be, a lifestyle I aspired to.. and today I want a home, a style that reflects who I actually am. Not what 'he' wants, or what 'he' would appreciate.. but also not what 'I' feel I ought to be. Now I want a house that is me, and I don't care how you feel about it. I think maybe its a maturing and deepening confidence.

And I LOVE my new leather chair. And I don't care what anyone thinks ... or what it makes me or who it makes me..ITs comfy, its soothing, it smells like new shoes, its rich and inviting.. hell its everything my marriage never was.
And until 3 months ago, I never even knew it was what I'd always wanted.

I didn't much like David Bromstad last year during the competition, but I really like him on his show. So, this year I'm rooting for Kim but the surfer guy might not be as tedious as I currently find him.

I'm going to be 50 this week (although I'm in deep denial) and I still don't know what kind of music I like. Although lately I've been enjoying electronic tango music like Gotan Project.

Love the window film. Who says good help is hard to find? It just depends on your definition of "good" and "help."