Just run for you life!

Those are some mighty fine looking zucchinis! Fry em up with onion and bits of bacon. Yum!

Make some zucchini bread!!! Mmmmmmmmmmm!!

Zucchinis are like that, though; they never seem to know when enough is enough!! Maybe you can set up a booth at the Farmer's Market!!

Have I used too many exclamation points??? Sorry!!!!!!!!! ;o)

Oh, and don't you know socks go in the TOP drawer?? That's what my mother said.

Oh, that brings back the memories...mutant zucchini...we actually planted 5 mounds of it, thinking it wouldn't be enough. Duh. My kids actually tried to use the bigguns as baseball bats. Not too effective, but it got rid of some. Now I just concentrate on flowers the deer and woodchucks won't eat. Enjoy those mutants. And maybe try midnight drops on porches. Good luck!

Denise in WI

Best window stops ever!
Or grill up those babies.

That's just too funny! Still life with zukes, the latest craze in art forms. Don't try to take one on an airplane, you'd never get such lethal weapons past security.

Have you been sneaking them onto your neighbors' porches in the dark of night?

Those seal-a-meal things are great for bumper crops. You use what you can and then cut, blanch and package the rest and toss it in the freezer for the day when you can stand to eat it again.

I'm voting for the "drop 'em on the neighbors' doorsteps". What about your Korean neighbor? Wouldn't she like some for stir fry?? Can you throw 'em over the fence to the people who were putting their dog poop near the fence? What about "accidentally forgetting" a shopping bag full of 'em on the bus one morning? Or dropping them at a local food pantry?

I'm bummed because my recipe for chocolate zuccini cake got lost in the files of my last computer transfer. Sigh.

I have given them to the neighbors, all my friends, every person at work, even strangers on the bus, no kidding.

AND I STILL HAVE A BAZILLION GADZUKES.

I have finally met my vegetable match. Nature wins. Again.

MMMMMmmmmm...
I had some eight ball zukes last night for dinner. THEY WERE SO AWSOME! (fyi eight ball zukes are small and shaped just like an eight ball they dont have any seeds so they are much more meaty and have a sweeter taste they are my fave!!)
My SO grilled it wil some steaks last night because it was so damn hot here on the 4th we held off on the bbq till last night and booooy was it yumm!

Maybe you should mail some to Drew.

Ummm...the only thing left is to set up a lolzucchini website? icanhazgadzukes.com

IM IN UR GRDN
PLTING INSERECTION
KTHXBYE

Oh and I laughed myself silly over the idea of phallic zucchini plotting "insurrerection". Because I am 12 years old ;-)

Lie in the ditch and throw them at cars.

I'm having quite a chuckle thinking about you running around the house posing the zukes, talking to the cats, snapping photos...

Too funny, missy.

Maybe there is a way to turn them into kitty litter.

I remember something my mom called "trailer special" that she would fry up when we were little and camped. Sliced tomatoes, onion, oil(?) and sliced zucchini. A big mess of stuff that the kids refused to eat because it looked so weird. Now that I'm older I could really use a bit of "trailer special" every now and then...
Enjoy! (and your pics kill me - love the sock drawer one!)

WOW! You could open a stand at the Farmer's Market!

Did I not warn you this would happen? Did you not ignore me as you thought I deserved? Ha! Now it's my turn to laugh. Well, giggle, actually, because I am 12 years old.

Ahem. Attempting a modicum of maturity here. You can puree them (that will teach them) and freeze them and make soup and/or bread out of them later. Or you can leave them on Mrs. Kim's kitchen table, but for pity's sake *do not let the screen door slam behind you.*

Oh. I guess sneaking them into Mrs. Kim's house wouldn't be very mature, would it? Besides, she'd know it was you. Maybe (abandoning maturity altogether) you could stage photo ops of a very large zucchini and a couple of onions. I actually saw such a display once in the convenience store I snag coffee from on the way to work. (No, it's not a 7-11, just a local mom & pop, & apparently at least one teenager.)

Dude, those are ridiculously big. Have you started chasing people down as you try to give them away? I did a quick search of zucchini recipes and it looked promising. I know, from personal experience, that zucchini bread can be frozen and then gifted at Christmas. And I even found an easy zucchini bread recipe for the bread machine in my quick search.

But seriously, can you give something like this to a shelter or a food kitchen? Project Angel Heart or some rescue mission?

Be careful what you wish for!

Why is it that they are so plentiful right when turning on the oven to bake zucchini bread (my personal favorite) would just be insane?

It sounds like it's a bit late for you, but if you pick them when they're tiny (still with blossom attached) they are really tasty and easier to cook, oh yah, and they're smaller too.

And as a last resort, if they start rotting before you find something to do with them, you can always compost them. I grow worms and I know they would love your zucchini. Giving rotted, unidentifiable produce to my worms helps to ease the guilt of finding nasty uneaten food in my fridge. Let me know if you ever have the same problem. One of these days I'll be posting about how to do it (smell free).

Laurie! It's all your fault i am dragging my Pirate's Pantry out to look up the Hush Puppies recipes (page 152 ya'll).

Gaaaah!

I live in a small southern town where no one locks their car doors ... except when the zucchini is ripe, or else it will magically appear on their back seat!!! I saw a terrific raw zucchini salad on Food Network by Giada DiLaurentis (?sp?); plus if you dice them and saute with lots of garlic and olive oil and cover w/ lots of parmesan cheese over tortellini or other pasta, they're yummy! Congrats (I think...)

hehe lie in the ditch and throw em at cars hehe

Eat them when they are just flowers.

http://blogher.org/node/21899

Those are ENORMOUS! As long as they're not stealing the growing mojo from the peppers and okra, I guess you just have to let them do their thing.

SNORK!!! Thank you for channeling B. Kliban today.

Seriously, if you have ANY room in your freezer, pureed zuke is a great soup and gravy base. Fiber, fiber, fiber!

When your freeser is full, find their leader -- look for the epaulets and sunglasses -- and perhaps you can coerce General Zuke to lead his minions to the nearest food bank.

Also, have you considered throwing them over the fence so the odor of rotting zukes masks the doggie poo?

No, wait. Don't do that. That would be a very, very bad idea. Zukes have seeds.

HeyZeus, those are freakin' ENORMOUS! Zucchini bread? (No, not that kind - buy a loaf of french bread, drill a big hole in it, pull out all the bready innards, and just stick a zucchini in there. Plug it back up, put it back in the bag, and leave it on the grocery store shelf. Laugh with reckless abandon, picturing some poor bastard getting home to enjoy his crusty french bread and brie, and instead finding a mutant zucchini where the soft part should be.)

Haha, I love that you fenced Roy in with monster zucchini. Lucky for you that cat will let you do anything to him.

Just curious - how are the peppers?

2 words
Zucchini Bread

****SNORT****

my chickens would like to peck them! i haven't planted any yet. i'm not sure if it's too late.

Dude that is seriously impressive.

Joke -- Q: Why do your friends and neighbors make sure to lock their car doors this time of year?
A: To make sure you won't leave bags of squash in their cars.

Throw them at that ice cream truck???

Always worry when you have more of something than you have cats... Not a good sign.

Hey, I'm single. Can you ship a few to NY?? LOL

Save 'em up. For August 8, which is "Sneak Some Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch Night".

Not making it up either - http://library.thinkquest.org/2886/foo.htm, http://edhelper.com/DailyThemes_August_8.html

Although I'm not sure it's on the official-type holiday list...

The peppers are fine, some of them are doing better than others ... one commenter once chastised me for having them under the porch, which is so funny because that's where they do best. The ones in full sun shrivel and die immediately... the ones in partial sun do OK, and the ones in mostly shade with late afternoon sun (the porch) are doing great. I'll take some pics next week, if the zukes haven't trapped me inside...

Fire up the ol' Son of Hibachi, slice up them zukes, coat with EVOO, a shake of s&p, slap 'em on the grill and voila! The healthy (and sooooo yummy) version of the Fry Daddy.

I grew up on a farm and we never had a garden because all the retired farmers around us had huge gardens. I have very vivid memories of walking into the garage and seeing huge mutant zucchinis sitting on top of the freezer, since we were not huge fans of the mutant zucchini most of it was cut up and fed to the cows who enjoyed it a lot. To bad you don't have a cow, I'm betting a cow would make short work of all that zucchini. How are your peppers doing by the way?

That cracks me up! Hehe...gotta love enough boredom to take pics of zucchini all over your house!

Two words: Zucchini Bread (because its delicious!)

LOL!!!!!

I needed a laugh today and this post was just perfect.
LOL!!!!!!!

thank you!! :)

I second LaDonna, except invite all your friends over first, the ones who like zucchini, anyway. Garlic powder is also good.

Shred it and freeze it, and if you're interested, drop me a line and I'll get the chocolate zucchini cupcake recipe from my friend. They're *yummy* (you can hardly tell that there's zucchini in it), and you feel guilt-free eating them because they're "healthy" (anything containing zucchini is healthy, right?).

Oh. My. God. My brother and I were once two young (pre-teen)entrepreneurs in suburban NJ. We went to the local produce stand and asked what we could grow that he would really want to buy. He said young zucchini in September. So in August we planted a crop, and lovingly tended it. In mid-September, we carried bushel baskets of these beautiful young zucchini to the produce stand. He looked us in the eye and told us that he had all the zucchini he could sell. It's fortunate that my father was not a violent man because he was furious that someone would do that to his kids. And I have never felt the same love for zucchini again.

Really though, I came here, not to tell you about my zucchini disaster, but to thank you for your thoughts on pausing smoking. My beloved MIL is suffering the health consequences of years of smoking (stroke and heart disease). She has stopped while hospitalized and in rehab (more than a month), but started right back up as soon as she returned to her home. My husband and I. Could. Not. Understand.

Your words helped us to see things from her perspective. And ultimately that will help us to more easily accept whatever decision she makes when she goes home after her most current stay. Thank you.

There's a terrific recipe book called "Too Many Tomatoes - a Cookbook for When your Garden Explodes". I think you need it about now. We used to eat tons of Zucchini Goulash, back when we had a backyard free of deer.

If they are taking away Roy's favorite spots then you know what you must do...

You must call for the nukes. Yes you must.

Because Roy must not be inconvenienced for some mere vegetable.

And because I'm that way, I guess I'll leave you with this:

That'll learn ya to plant zucchini!

[Some things ARE worth paying money for! LOL!]
.

OK, the first step is to admit you have no power over the zucchini.

Second step is not to plant them next year. Then everyone can tell you what a gross habit zucchini-growing was once you've stopped.

Those are STUFFIN' zukes!! I wish I could find big ones like that up here.

Here is a zucchini cookbook! The answer to your prayers, just go out and buy something else to keep in your house along with the monster grfeen phalluses (what the heck is the plural of phallus?)! Hehehe.

http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Zucchini-Cookbook-Recipes-Squash/dp/1580174531/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b/002-0825645-1523212?ie=UTF8&qid=1183747712&sr=8-2

My mom always insisted that the trick to zuchini was picking them while they were small. They're more tender that way and easier to use up. If she missed one and didn't spot it until it had reached behemoth size, there'd be some unladlike language coming from the backyard.

Mmmm...zucchinis! I wish I had your problem!

I currently only have red wine in a box, but I can possibly help with this link.

good luck!

Mmmm, fried zukes! You could do what folks here do, and bring them to your co-workers. Make sure you drive that day though.... I don't want us to have to bail you out for carrying weapons on the bus!

This post is a great example of why I love this blog!!

I'll send you a vine borer to kill all the vines, how 'bout that? No, I think that's probably illegal. I guess you have to resort to what the rest of us do (sneaking them into friends' cars, knitting bags, infant carriers, whatever works).

How're the pepper plants? I was sad when I thought you were going to tell me that *they'd* died.

Bake some zucchini bread and freeze it for the winter!

Didn't anyone ever warn you about zucchini surprise?

Anyways, here is my favorite recipe for zucchini of all time (stolen from all over the place on the internets):

THE BEST ZUCCHINI RECIPE EVER!?
1 bushel zucchini
1 raincoat
1 pair of sunglasses
A moderately fast car
DIRECTIONS:Go to a busy parking lot. Drive around until you find an unlocked car.Put the zucchini in the back seat and drive away FAST before you are discovered!

good grief girl, looks to me like your living in an episode of VeggieTales!

GADZUKES!

(i crack me up)

I have a fabulous zuch. chocolate cake recipe!!

Hehehehe.

Zucchinibomber trebuchet.

After thinking about it and thinking about it, I have realized that Laurie puts her socks in a bottom drawer because when she bends over to pick a pair out, that counts as exercise.

She is one smart cookie.
.

I can't believe the size of those things! And now my mouth is watering because I am thinking of fried zucchini with marinara sauce, mmmmm....

It just didn't occur to me you had to put your socks in a certain drawer. Now that is just crazytalk.

Zucchini infestation is the main reason I don't live in the valley.

uhhhhh . . . do you live next to a power plant?

oh.my.god.

Gadzukes! How appropriate! I love that word. Gadzukes! I could say it all day. Gadzukes! Seriously, make some zucchini bread (I know it's hot, but when it's THAT hot, what's a degree more or less?) and freeze it up for later....

hee-hee. I am just imagining a wine-induced photo frenzy at Chez Purl. In my mind you are sneaking all over your house looking for clever places to pose the 'zukes and snort-chortling when you find a good one!

What a great way to break up my Friday afternoon. Ahh - I miss the days when I used to have a garden. I loved grilled zucchini slices. over pasta or rice. with wine.
mmmm

I think you should host a zucchini-fest fundraiser. There would be wine, and zucchini bake-offs, and you could hand out cat-hair lint rollers as door prizes. :) The proceeds could help pay for your cat litter habit.

Eureka! I've got it!
You need to get your hands on a Mr Potato Head, and start creating new vegetable characters. I think there's a huge untapped market for a Mr Zucchini Head!

I think zucchinis are the only kind of vegetable that can grow in any conditions. We have the same infestation here, and I can't help but wonder what they do to get them as small as they are when you buy them in the store. Because these fuckers you could to bludgeon someone to death!

The solution is obvious!

Bring a shopping bag of 'em to SnB, and slap a personalize nametag on each one. People will be so flattered they will HAVE to take "theirs" home with them!

Congrats on your crop, though. I have a rose, a McCartney hybrid tea, growing in a huge pot on the balcony that I hope lives through the summer. The blossoms are dark pink and smell like lemons (yes, it was named after Paul McCartney) but I have a black thumb and am not sure how long I can nurse it along.

my mom would take her giant zukes and slice them long ways. slightly bake them, scoop out the insides and stuff them. mmmm yummy...
then there is zucchini bread :-) not diet friendly but yummy

Boy, the cats look worried! I learned a long time ago not to grow zuchini...everyone at work brings them in to give away!

Oh Lordy, you made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my gum! That shot of the zucchini in the toaster gives new meaning to "food porn."

Girl... you're supposed to check them every 2 days.. cuz they AREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET THAT BIG! Seriously though.. they are much better tasting smaller. I have 1 zucchini plant in my garden this year. It already has 2 little zuch's on it. None of my other plants have veggies.. just flowers.

Seriously though.. Google Zucchini recipes. There are a boatload of them. My fav is chocolate chip zucchini bread. MMM GOOD. And it freezes well.

Holy cow! I have a nice recipe for a pasta with zucchini, basil and a creamy sauce that is reminscent of Alfredo but with FAR few calories and fat. And it's super easy. If you want it, just let me know.

you are just the funniest.
Poor kitties. soon they will be outnumbered for your affection!

Since you've already been offered a plethora of zucchini bread recipes, I bring you Paula Deene:
Squash Casserole (with butter, sour cream, cheddar cheese & Ritz crackers. mmmmm...)
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_22718,00.html?rsrc=search

Also, who's going to turn the Roy photo into a lolcat for icanhazcheezburger?

Roy can haz zukeenee?

Or Zukeenee can haz Roy??

I try to cut them off the vine when they are 4 to 5 inches long. They taste better, they are easier to give away and it feels less wasteful if I end up throwing them away. ;-)

Good luck.

I'm over here in Pasadena...if you can find a place to meet, I'll take a few off your hands for you!

Egads!

Sneak into your local farmers' market and sell 'em for yarn money.

Well of course socks go in the top drawer. (don't they?)

I love zukes! Send some up north to the Bay Area! :)

Share with friends, neighbors, bus drivers, anyone you can find really. My zucchini plants produce like that every year. I can be seen running down the driveway chasing guests who try to forget their zucchinis.
Here's some ideas- grate them and freeze in 1 cup portions to make muffins or bread. grate and add to spagetti sauce, make a big batch and freeze. BBQ and add to everything you eat. slice really thin and make a salad.
It's tough work handling mammoth produce.

Am I the only person who HATES zukes? I loathe them. I see them in my food and run away! Your pictures were scary!

There's a great recipe for Zucchinni soup in the very first Susan Branch cookbook. But, the best ever Zucchinni recipe is below. As someone already said, totally quilt free, 'cause you're eating your veggies along with the chocolate.

Chocolate Zucchini Cake

Cream together:
½ cup margarine
½ cup salad oil
1 ½ cup sugar

Beat together and add to the above creamed mixture:
2 eggs
1teaspoon vanilla

Sift together and add:
½ cup buttermilk
2 ½ cups flour
4 Tablespoons cocoa
½ teaspoon salt
1teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon cinnamon

Mix in:
2 cups shredded and drained zucchini

Spread this mixture in a greased and floured 9x13 pan.

Top with:
1 6 oz. package chocolate chips
¼ cup chopped nuts
¼ cup brown sugar

Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes.

When things start to take over in my garden, I make soup. Just so happens I have a good recipe for zucchini soup if you are interested.

It seems that the zucchinis in my mother's garden will be numerous as well, this is spreading worldwide! (I live in Poland) *^v^*

Well based on the last two posts, me thinks I have a solution....

Smoke the zucchinis! Two birds, one stone y'all.
And how unhealthy could it be?

Slice them.
Dry in sun.
Poke hole near edge.
Shellac them.
Add yarn.

Vee-o-la, Christmas ornaments.

holy crack batman!!!
I would be afraid very afraid I tell you!
~dani

Holy crap.

I did that with tomatoes once. Not the size, but the volume of tomatoes! Never plant 15 "guaranteed producers" unless you're planning to eat tomatoes with every single meal for the next six months.

Dang.

I need to plant me some zuccini's next year.

Sandee, admittedly it does make me feel like in some small way I totally kicked ass at gardening this year :)

But still. I have A LOT of squash here.

To save the zukes for future usage: Shred them up in a food processor, put measured amounts into freezer bags, and freeze them. My mom used to do this. Then they are ready for spaghetti sauce, muffins, bread, etc. AND, friends may actually take some off your hands if it's already "user friendly". Good Luck!

Pick them when they're small (about 5 inches long at most) and use them raw in salads or cooked up with tomatoes, and whatever else. My husband is adding them to last night's curry with some tomatoes to make enough for dinner. (And whatever you do -- don't turn your back on them. Today's little nipper can become tomorrow's monster.) Good luck.

My mom makes my favorite dessert with Zucchini. We call it Zucchini Mock Apple Pie. I have no idea where the recipe came from but it's fantastic and really easy.

Zucchini Mock Apple Pie

4-5 cup Zucchini
2 tbsp Lemon Juice
Dash of Salt
1 ¼ cup Sugar
1 ½ tsp cinnamon
1 ½ tsp Cream of Tartar
Dash of nutmeg
3 tbsp Flour
Double Crust and Butter

Preheat oven to 400 degree. Peal and cut LARGE zucchini into quarters. Remove seeds and Slice crosswise. Steam until tender yet crisp. Toss together cooked zucchini, lemon juice and salt let set for about ½ to 1 hour. Mix sugar and spices, cream of tartar, and flour in bowl. Add zucchini and mix well. Pour into pie crust and dot with butter. Add Top crust. Bake 40- 50 minutes.

Pick them young! And make zucchini pickle. Best pickle ever!

I thought I had a problem one year when I grew a grafted tomato in my conservatory. It grew so fast I was convinced one day I would wake up and I wouldn't be able to get out of the house, I'd be like Sleeping Beauty with the house all covered in vines.

Grate those suckers up and freeze 'em for Winter. You've also got the makings of quite a bit of zucchini bread.

Also, pick them younger while they're still small. They will be tastier, and you'll have less food to have to deal with. Those plants will keep making more as long as you keep picking.

That's what zukes do, darlin'. Give away as many as you can. Then visit Martha for some good recipes that go beyond zuke bread and the ubiquitous chocolate cake recipe (which is really great, BTW). And you can make lasagna with them, substituting thin-ish longways slices for the pasta. And I second the suggestion to shred, measure, and freeze.

I love grilled zucchini. Slice lengthwise, brush some olive oil on the cut side, and grill on the barbecue. Also, donating a bag to a local food bank is a terrific idea.

Enjoy!

I also grow zucchini and have this problem in the summer. They say the only time people in the country lock their cars is in summer because if they leave the car unlocked the neighbors will fill it full of zucchini!

I have made chocolate zucchini cake and it is GOOD! Here is another one for you - sorry it only takes 4 cups....

ZUCCHINI BAKE

1 stick butter
1 cup chopped onion
4 c zucchini, shredded

2 eggs
8 oz mozzarella cheese
¼ tsp oregano
¼ tsp basil
2 TBS parsley
Salt and pepper

Can of Cresent Rolls

Mix the 2 beaten eggs, 8 oz mozzarella and spices together, set aside.

Cook butter and onion and zucchini until transparent. Mix in the egg/cheese/spice mixture in with the zucchini/onion’s.

Line cake pan with cresent rolls. Pour mix on top. Bake 20 minutes at 375*.

Auntie, I swear I'll pay shipping if you send some out to me! Love me some zukes for stuffin' with homemade marinara sauce and fresh mozzarella and parmesan... Yummy!

OMG and LOL!! Yes, you can eat up the zucchini flowers, this will act as "birth control" against the adult zucchini:

http://www.radio-canada.ca/television/ciaobella_english/vhtml/fleurzucchinis.html

I vote for the foodbank, although having seen those, do you realize I have to go out and BUY some??? Because now I have a passionate, wild, will-not-be-appeased craving for my baked zucchini with parmesan, thenk yew very not at all. I think you were warned, but you know - zucchini have an ancient brotherhood with an oath to only grow for Good and Loving (and Lovable) people, knitters preferred. So there.

Good lord! They're like giant, hairless, tumescent green tribbles.

They make great weapons!

OH MY GOD you have freakishly huge zucchinis! Are you sure that you aren't living over a previous nuclear waste dump or something? I picture the zucchini like the teenage mutant ninja turtles. They may start out as normal, but give them a little nuclear waste and they become SUPER SQUASH! (do they glow in the dark?)

Is that a zuke in your crinkle cave, or are just happy to find a 40% off coupon for yarn?

That's what my mother taught me too. Socks go in the top drawer.

Grate them and fry them like hashbrowns - they are surprisingly good!

http://www.cookingcache.com/veggies/annieooopszucchinihashbrownslowcarb.shtml

I've given up growing zukes as I can't keep up with them, but I do grow straightneck summer squash (Early Prolific is my favorite; for patty pans, I like the yellow ones) - I don't get nearly as many squash, and they don't usually grow quite so fast. ;-)

A favorite summer squash recipe of mine - fry some sliced summer squash in olive oil, add sliced tomatoes once the squash are a bit browned and heat through; then sprinkle mozzarella cheese on top (sometimes I don't bother with the tomatoes). Hmm... I need to go check the garden! :-D

2 words.... Zucchini Bread.

Good God those things are huge!

Take them to work? Maybe they can bring home paychecks too.

Do what the family does in "Apple Pigs"

Come one, come all to an apple feast!
Come man, come bird, come wooly beast!

Oh, what beautiful monsters... Zucchinis always remind me of those frozen diet foods. No matter what they make, zucchini makes it in there.

Oh dear!
Laurie, you had me giggling, and then Lucia's post pushed me over the edge into guffaws. Stawp it! I swehr!

You have passed the zucchini bread/casserole/salad level. By this time in the summer, no one in LA will take one off your hands. They won't last long enough to carve for Halloween. Your freezer isn't big enough. Only one option remains.

Compost.

You know, I was laughing my ass off at the original post, but then KJ's comment sent me totally over the edge. lolzukes.

Speaking of phallic insurrectionist zukes, what are those two at in your sink? They look awfully friendly. ;) And phallic zukes in your sock drawer? Hmmm... LOL.

The killer tomatoes have mutated into killer zucchini. I'll be waiting by my mailbox for my loaf of zucchini bread.

I spit my coffee out at whomever posted that you should send them to Drew. I second checking with your local food bank... although I suspect they might be overflowing with Zukes also. You could put them in a basket and hang a FREE sign and put them out in front of your house. That works with most everything out where I live.

Consider yourself lucky...I envy your infestation! I live in Japan and here it is 498 yen (about $4) to buy one measly (and I mean measly--about as long as a finger and not bigger than an inch in diameter) zucchini in the supermarket. Your zucchini could bring you a fortune here!

You need to get a cow! No human can eat that much Zucchini! Even with all the recipes that kind folks have taken the time to type...that is just too much Zucchini! Though I did like the idea of putting the zukes in unlocked cars. Very funny!

This made Bossy chuckle until her neighbor came to the door to see if she was OK. (Answer: She's never OK.) This also made Bossy remember a time in her childhood when her father dressed up the copious garden zucchini as giant garden slugs... first he poked toothpicks above "the eyes" and... never mind.

oooh thanks for reminding me I need to lock my van doors at church this Sunday!!! RUUUN!!!!

Did someone post a recipe for zucchini bread already? If not, here's my mom's. It was a fave of mine growing up. OK, I just read it and what's with 1 cup of oil?? How very '70s. You can probably cut down the oil a bit.

Zucchini Bread
Makes 2 loaves
Preheat oven to 350

3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup salad oil
1 cup sugar
2 cups zucchini, grated, squeezed, and tightly packed
2 teaspoons vanilla

3 1/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt

Optional: 3/4 cup raisins and/or
1 cup nuts, chopped

Lightly grease and flour pans.
Mix first 5 ingredients.
Sift together dry ingredients.
Combine with zucchini mixture.
Add raisins and/or nuts if desired.
Bake for one hour.
Test with toothpick or knife, done when comes out clean.
Cool ten minutes; remove from pan.

Mom's note: "I usually use 1/2 white and 1/2 whole wheat flour."

Comedy, arts, crafts, gardening AND recipes. Your site has everything! You are a gem!

The secret is to pick them when they're young. Why do you think they serve so many of those darn baby zucchini at fine restaurants? Heck, some restaurants even fry up the blossoms, so they have no chance to grow and multiply! Be that as it may, since you're WAAAAAAAAAY past the point of premature zucchini salvation, I'd get myself a big forked branch and a big rubber band, fashion myself a slingshot, and shoot the zucchini at the "It's a Small World" ice cream truck. Wear a huge false moustache while you're doing it and use lots of hand gestures. Yell out phrases that sound remotely Italian. Maybe he'll leave and won't come back.

A local food bank or church that has a soup kitchen would LOVE these veggies! A women's shelter, maybe? (I know one nearby, if you want to know, email me).

Or put them in a basket by your curb. If the local delinqents don't smush them, someone who can really use them might take them.

Well, I know what NOT to grow. Although something I can't kill might not be a bad thing. At least I will have been warned. And those two in the sink do look a little NC-17.

Gadzukes. Heh.

Hushpuppy mix! Awww....that reminds me of my sweet aunt from Kentucky who loved hushpuppies, especially from the King Fish restaurant on the outskirts of Louisville.
Anyway, I think the best use of zucchini is to make chocolate cake out of them. Kinda defeats the purpose of growing vegetables doesn't it?
Take them to work and leave them in the staff room with a free to good home sign (my boss used to do that).

Peel them, scratch out the seeds. Shred them. Squeeze out all the liquid, mix with some wholewheat flour, add salt and pepper. Mix with an egg, and bake tiny pancakes. Serve with smoked salmon and a bit of yogurt/garlic dip.
Or:
-Leave them at the lost-and-found.
-Ask the local branch of Cosa Nostra if there is any need for some nice, biodegradable sort of weight.
-Google for "Zucchino wine"
-Reward every commenter who gives you good advice with a nice, shining ZukeZilla.
-Extract all the liquid out of these GigantoZukes and pur it on the drying pepper plants. Maybe it contains some secret growing hormone. Btw...
-dry it. Shred it. Roll in cigarette paper. Smoke.

But still, there is a lot of envy in me- this year we won´t have any zucchini at all. It´s raining for weeks now, and there´s only algae and moss growing on my balcony. Plus, the only chance to get some tan is to go outside and rust a little.

That was always the joke about why you locked your doors in the summer time. Because if you didn't you would come back to a backseat full of them. What made it funnier is we had friends that it actually happened to. We grew a lot of zucchini and other squashes in our big garden when I was growing up. I have no idea how mom or dad managed to cook them all up and feed them to us without all the kids throwing them across the room in protest. I do remember giving lots and lots of them away. I think we had 10 mounts of them, can you imagine how many zuks we had?
Thanks for the very amusing 'still life with zuks' photos.

squash blossom soup - or sopa de flor de calabacita as we like to call it. you can just make it up, or use a recipe from the internet or a library book. i have tasted a dozen variations, all good, especially the blended ones. the blossoms give soup a beautiful delicate flavor and color. also stuffed squash blossoms, squash blossom salad, you get the idea. use them before they have a chance to even think about becoming zucchinis. the only problem is that the picked blossoms only last for one or two days - you have to use them right away.

Oh lordie have I been there, done that. Let me tell you what saved my life.

Two words. Doorbell ditching. Only, instead of thin air, you leave a bag of zuchini on the doorstep when you run away. Way to win friends and thrill the neighbors.

Oh such funny zucchini memories from years ago when just a day seemed to double their size and quantity. The kids had one short-lived solution (so they wouldn't have to eat them, I think)...
Instead of a lemonade stand, they (yes, Allison too) had a zucchini stand. More than anything, it earned laughs.

So here's an idea to add to all the others (we love zucchini/onion/cheese pancakes) ....Make art! here's 7-second inspiration.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjjnZrpLOAA ...

Oh such funny zucchini memories from years ago when just a day seemed to double their size and quantity. The kids had one short-lived solution (so they wouldn't have to eat them, I think)...
Instead of a lemonade stand, they (yes, Allison too) had a zucchini stand. More than anything, it earned laughs.

So here's an idea to add to all the others (we love zucchini/onion/cheese pancakes) ....Make art! here's 7-second inspiration.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjjnZrpLOAA ...

Ok, so you know those big yellow flowers that appear right before a zuke starts to take over? PICK THEM! Then fry them. They are delicious, trust me. You get a yummy dinner, and fewer zukes. :)

Advice at a recent business forum, "Kill King Kong while he's a baby," i.e handle problems when they are small. Once again, business skills are useful in home life.

A long time ago, in the early 70's, my grandmother planted zucchini for the first time. Unfortunately, she didn't realize that it produces abundantly. That one summer we had zucchini muffins for breakfast, zucchini on top of pizza for lunch, zucchini and spaghetti for supper, you name it. Since she NEVER threw anything away ("You raise 3 kids during the Dust Bowl and the Depression and you'll learn not to waste a thing.") she stood there at her kitchen counter, with her blender, and pureed zucchini all summer long. Her freezer was full of Tupperware containers with zucchini puree. I was afraid she'd have to buy a new freezer to hold it all.

A long time ago, in the early 70's, my grandmother planted zucchini for the first time. Unfortunately, she didn't realize that it produces abundantly. That one summer we had zucchini muffins for breakfast, zucchini on top of pizza for lunch, zucchini and spaghetti for supper, you name it. Since she NEVER threw anything away ("You raise 3 kids during the Dust Bowl and the Depression and you'll learn not to waste a thing.") she stood there at her kitchen counter, with her blender, and pureed zucchini all summer long. Her freezer was full of Tupperware containers with zucchini puree. I was afraid she'd have to buy a new freezer to hold it all.

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You are so FUNNY and cute !! I've been laughing out loud ..
luv yah

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You are sooooo funny. I especially like the one lurking in the toaster oven -- reminds me of a guy I used to date!! Whoooaaaa MAMA!

I bet there is a soup kitchen that would love to have fresh veggies!

zucchini wine! YES@!

Grate the suckers, drain them and then pack them into quart freezer bags. Label them and chuck them in the freezer. That way you can have the fresh taste of summer in December. Or just make compost. ;)

Hey do you have a local farmer's market that would buy them from you?? WE had an overabundance of basil and the dh sold them at a farmer's market for abt $50. I, in turn, spent it on yarn!

Oh try this!
http://archive.salon.com/mwt/sust/recipe/2000/10/10/zucchini_bread/index.html

Chocolate, Zucchini, what more do you need?

Here's what you do: Slice 'em up, marinade in some balsalmic vinegar, olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic, then grill 'em up! Preferably with some chicken, onions, portabella mushrooms and red peppers that have also had the same marinade bath (of course do the chicken seperately, because, ew). Then you can make sandwiches, chop it all up and put over rice or pasta. Oh, and be sure to top with cheese. I recommend rotating gorgonzola, feta and goat cheese. Yum!

This time of year in my hometown (back in South Dakota) if you went in the PO or bank, you better lock the doors of your car...'cause if you didn't, the whole back seat and passenger side of your car would be filled with zucchini. to quote my husband after discussing the status of the zucchini in the squash family..."well, I guess every family has to have its black sheep."

Maybe you could develop a line of zucchini based hair and skin care line....

I woke up this morning, brought in the Saturday paper, made coffee, looked out the window and watched our neighbors toil in their garden, where the sauna is turned on "high," and their zukes are starting to catch up with yours, but are not nearly as big.

And it hit me. What's UNDER your zukes? We may have found Jimmy Hoffa. Dig, girl.

This is so funny. We've just been visiting my FIL in Alabama and his TOMATOES went completely crazy this year and since I aspire to grow really good tomatoes but in my soil in Austin, it ain't never gonna happen --he loaded me up with about 20 pounds of them. As he was putting the baskets in the car, he said, "This is starting to look like maybe I'm trying to get rid of my tomatoes, huh?" I laughed. He said,kind of under his breath, "Well, actually, I guess I am." I posted some pictures on my blog. Also, I had a little accident with my debit card at Yarns Downtown in your old stomping grounds of Columbus, Mississippi. Great yarn and great tomatoes --I might have to move further East...

Barb

I totally feel your pain. We planted waaayyy too many zucchinni plants this year, and after picking 80 pounds in one week (yes, we weighed them), we pulled the suckers out. I even found one monster that was 20" long and weighed 6 pounds. I told my husband I just couldn't take picking anymore zukes, they were depressing me...especially after reading on seed pack that they replace every fruit picked! Join the resistance, rip the suckers out of the garden!!!

Mmmmm....I smell zucchini bread. I have a million zucchini recipes if you need 'em. My folks used to grow zucchini like that and we made all kinds of dishes with them.

scary stuff. i find it funny your sock drawer is also on the bottom of the bureau. i wonder how many others also keep their socks in that location.

I think those zucchini are chilly -- I'm seeing a nice knitted veg-cozy! A little knitted cover here and there would help soften the infestation, and, you know, make it seem more, homey!

I saw someone gave you a recipe for zucchini bread YUMMY! It freezes really well. I can also suggest finding a recipe for zucchini relish....it's amazing! You'll never eat pickle relish again :) good luck!!

Good Lord, woman, it's the Tribbles all over again!!!

man! i wish i had your problem. here in central oklahoma, where it has finally stopped raining after 20 days straight, my zuchinni & squash plants are just about dead... molding & rotting... i had to *buy* some stupid zuchs yesterday... wanna send a few my way?? good luck w/finding a way to cope w/your bounty! i see some zucchini bread in your future!! LOL!!

I enjoyed this very much. I sense that you may have a future in zucchini fiction. You can pretty much dress them up as anything to illustrate your stories. This is your opportunity. your big moment--we're talking book two!

zuke stories, take one.

yuck, i don't like zukes. good luck! i am thinking of you these days as i am escaping the summer heat by walking around in my local Target in a grid-like fashion (c) laurie. no zukes there!! :0)

Squash that big are fiberous, pitch them out. Save only the small tender ones. They might look impressive but, aren't worth eating. You might use them as compost!

Is that a zucchini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Shred them, put them in freezer bags, and stock up for the winter. Make zucchini bread, add it to soups or scrambled eggs.

Ooh, I love a nice zucchini in me...hand them out to all the frustrated housewives in the area - they`ll have a nice smile on their faces when their husbands get home. Just remind them to warm them up a bit first before using them on their bits.

There are a million recipes for zukes... mainly because they are the bunnies of the vegetable world.

I forgot to say in my previous comment how very talented you are that you could train a bunch of dumb veggies to pose for you like that.

It's just all part of Sowobaka's evil plan...

A couple of years ago, at one of our local festivals, there was a zucchini derby. Kids were given giant zukes and stuff to decorate them with, they were put on wheels and raced down a ramp. That was pretty fun, and they went through a whole bunch of zucchini! Check out your local fairs & festivals organizers, or daycare places, or whatever, to see it they would like to stage a zuke derby as a fundraiser! (Of course, by the time it's organized, you may be past the crisis).

Funny pictures! My husband still shudders when he remembers the zucchini that used to grow in his family's garden in New Jersey when he was little. It always grew huge and he was afraid to go near it.

Don't you know that the first Saturday in August is the National Leave Zucchini On Your Neighbors Front Porch At Midnight event?

Harvest them earlier, when they are much smaller (hot-dog sized) -- they take up less room that way and taste better.

Send them East! (I will send postage....)

....socks in the BOTTOM drawer?!?!?!

Now just think...you could become all homemakerish and make lovely zucchini relish and hand it out to your friends at Christmas. Alternatively, you could watch Day of the Triffids and scare yourself silly.

Based on your past posts on your culinary tendedncies and preferences, I really think you need this recipe.

http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/001366zucchini_fritters.php

It saved me during my big zuke outbreak last summer. If you want to lighten it a tad, subbing Greek yogurt for the sour cream works well and tastes great. Good luck!

I've been gathering zucchini recipes over on my blog if you want to have a look. We're being invaded as well!
www.incredibleshrinkingviolet.blogspot.com

And I'm reading your blog in reverse order through my feed (after a while away from the computer) so I also want to send my regrets about Roy.

Well well well. After reading through this and laughing until tears ran down my face I'd say I need to plant a few more zucchinnis because my neighborhood apartment complex is a little boring. I don't know how many car alarms we will trip this summer while trying to sneak them into cars, but I figure my 12 year old won't spend too much time in Juvenile Dentention for trying to do a good deed.