first? dont really have anything to say but Hi and have a great weekend!!!

My first car was a VW Rabbit, also without the passenger side mirror. My friend called it a go-kart -- and it looked like one parked next to his big-ass Chevy pick-up. The one with the fancy schmancy stereo system and custom horn. Saw one in the parking lot here the other day exactly like my beloved Wabbit. It had "antique car" tags on it. I almost cried.

I admire your stick-to-itiveness on the traffic. You must really be getting something out of that training if you can go back for the 405 punishment day after day. But you'd better check the gadzukes or they might take over the neighborhood.

My first car was a Grey 1988 VW Fox--I had it until January of 1998 when I got a VW Golf to replace it. I loved my Fox. When I got the new car, it seem so spacious in comparison...

Oooops...

I currently drive a VW Golf (which was once the rabbit and is now the rabbit again) and I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. She could literally fit in the bed of a friend's truck, or inside the passenger compartment of The Boy's classic Caddy.

So far the only Acts of God she's been through is being in an accident where no one was in her OR the car she ran into and recent hail damage. :(

My first car...ah, yes..."Dolly the Datsun", circa 1979. Palest blue, 4 speed, the whole car weighed about 8 pounds. Freedom at last, my very own car! Boy did I love Dolly. On a more current note, please take some pics of the zukes-gone-wild if you get a chance this weekend. These babies should really be something to see by now!

P.S. thanks for the post, I was beginning to have withhdrawals...that's normal, right??? Right?

Glad to see you're keeping busy.........emotionally and physically.
Keep on keeping on.

August 8th is Leave a Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch Day. Go forth and celebrate in style.

Ah, memories. My first car that I owned and made payments on, was a 1977 Chevy Chevette hatchback, orange paint with plaid cloth interior (I kid you not) and an AM radio. It was a smokin' hot car. It was a a stick shift because I wanted to save money on gas, which was all the way up to 50¢ a gallon at the time. (I'm so old.) I kept it for 10 years and I did love that car. Even if it was orange.

Trash cans on wheels, that's what my friends and I (affectionately) called the cheap little cars that we drove. . . my first was a Chrysler version of the Rabbit. Got it used, the dealer said it was only ever driven by a second-grade teacher so it was in great condition. Either that teacher had a lead foot and was high on really good drugs or the dealer was a liar. I got stranded so many times in that car that I learned how to approach strange houses at night and ask to use the phone. (How, you ask? Pray a lot that no axe murderers lived there!)

ya know, you could bring in the Zucchini to your classmates. (Arrive early & plae that at the places on the sly.)

oh Lord..I wondered about those awful neighbors. Isn't there someone you can call about that?! Sheesh. How rude.

I love you, and suggest that 1. you do leave the poop neighbors a big old zucchini on their doorstep. And that 2. if you have a hose with a strong spray that you spray some of that poop mountain into their pool. That would teach 'em.

First car was a VW 411.
I thought I was so cool because it had the same engine as a Porche. It didn't look fast but I enjoyed kicking butt on the muscle cars that would race with me.

Leave the poo neighbors more than one giant zuk! I bet they float, please throw one in the pool for me.

Maybe its time to make the move to wordpress? They have an awesome spam catcher (akismet)!

so my first *new* car was a VW beetle. LOVED it. I'm still sad i had to trade it in...but a 95lb dog doesn't fit too well in the back seat of a beetle...and neither to the eleventy-six bags of groceries that are needed for catering a good size party...so i had to get a station wagon/boat. the dog fits. the food fits. but i really miss my beetle!!

p.s. would putting "biohazard" signs all around your neighbors yard help them get the hint about the big poo mountain?

p.p.s. there was enough traffic on the 405 at non-rush-hour when my mother-in-law picked us up/dropped us off at LAX last week, i can't imagine doing it at rush hour!!!

I live in Winona, Mississippi - "jes rite up the road" from Columbus.

I also lived in Phoenix, then Gila Bend, Arizona, for a while so I relate to being a displaced southern person.

As always, enjoy your blog and look forward to your book!

Sorry to hear poop mountain is alive and unwell! I can't imagine what you're going to do with all those gadzukes. Maybe I need some to distract the squirrels from my tomatoes? Also, how is the pepper crop?

re: the poo pile - I would definitely call the health department. That is just wrong. These people, besides being totally classless, are apparently lazy AND stupid.
As for the giant zukes, maybe it's time to cut the plants back a little, and start a compost pile in the corner of the back 40? You can just chop up the giant gadzukes and feed them back into the dirt next year.
Hope your traffic nightmare ends soon!

This is probably a really dumb question: is it not possible to take public transportation to the airport or anything nearby? (I have never been to LA or environs, but based on my acquaintance with other cities and their airports my guess is that the answer is yes, if you have all day.)

Another dumb question: can you get Mrs. Lee to teach you to make zucchini kimchi, blithely assuming that there is such a thing?

I had an 87 VW Fox. No power steering. Sometimes when it was really cold, the brights wouldn't work. You'd have your regular lights on, you'd pull back for the brights, and you'd get . . . no lights at all. Also, in the depths of winter, the gas gauge and the heat wouldn't both work at the same time at speeds in excess of 60 mph. So if you were going to drive on the Interstate, you'd just have to hope it would be the heat that would be working. I loved that car!

I'm convinced that Southerners are about 50 times more likely to have a tree fall on their house or car than anyone else. Been there! :-)

My first car was a beat-up VW bus and I've driven other things in between, but as of 2001 I am back in Volkswagen product again and I just love that car. I never cease to be amazed at what I can squeeze into it!

late night drive-by zucchini-ing! Ahh! that's how I know that summer has truely arrived. Zucchinis on everyone's doorstep- left surrepticiously in the night.

:)

Maybe the big zucchinis are from the poop pile! Maybe that's what's helping the things grow so giant. Hrm. But that's still pretty nasty. I figured they were just not outside and didn't smell it. That's gross that they spend the weekends out there in the SUN and the HEAT baking the poop pile. Yucky.

You should leave a trail of giant zucchinis leading from their doorstep all the way to the poo pile. That would freak them out! (and they might even decide to do something about the poo)

My first car was a renault le car-yes I am that old. It was 4600 -brand new! dollars and it was YELLOW and I called it le lemon because after the first year it did not have heat and I lived in connecticut and it was friggin COLD and I too am from the south by birth if not by actual location
but I survived as you can see and so did you!

"Walk softly and carry a big zucchini." No wonder I stalk you!

love you love you love you! I always laugh when reading your stories - thank you for brightening my day - I live in Chatsworth and work in Beverly Hills so I know the pain of the 405 - (although I take Laurel Canyon instead) - it's a little more bearable.... (although it won't help you and your trek) - the good news: it's not a "forever" destination for you - once the classes/seminars are over, you won't have to drudge that direction during the "ick" hours.

hugs,

Kyle

HA! Numnuts - I've never seen that in print! A great word...sort of like 'pinhead'. tee.

My first car, a '68 VW Bug was named 'fumigus' by a good friend who got stuck commuting in it with me from South Lake Tahoe to Sacramento in the dead of winter...the heat exchange boxes had rusted through in spots so the engine smell got into the car. By the time we got to our destination, where we were supposed to be well-dressed with nice hair-dos etc., we smelled like garage mechanics.

hmm...poo piles and blaring Euro Disco. Niiiice. Sheeesh, makes one grateful for their upbringing eh?

My first car was a Hyundai Excel. The only non-lemon they ever made of those, I think. Ran like a champ for 6 years. Of course when I got it, it was used, the driver's door was hanging by 1.5 hinges, the speedometer didn't work, no a/c (in Oklahoma!), and no radio. But that baby could off-road like nobody's business, probably because it weighed about 500 pounds. Died a slow death, losing a cylinder at a time.

My first car was a 1965 VW Beetle (in 1965!)and I loved it to pieces! (Not literally.) You know, you should put a couple giant zukes away in a corner of the yard; when they "turn" they smell pretty bad too. Then go leave THOSE on the poo people's doorstep. Zukes like that *look* fine but go all soft and icky inside. {eg} And I still want some,and I'm STILL going to have to buy some on account of because now that I'm retired (more or less) I don't have coworkers bringing 'em in. Oh well....

"...and carry a big zucchini..."

Snort! Dirty!

Here's a traffic nightmare - I have a friend moving from Boston to CA next month. He'll be living in Pasadena and commuting to Irvine. I weep softly for him (and tried to warn him).

I think your yelling/poo collecting neighbors had a campsite next to me once in NY. Do they ever go to NY and give you some time off from listening to them? Sorry to hear about the poo pile. Maybe you could move it closer to their house during the night?

hi!

> I was deleting comment spam and got sidetracked by > the eleventy nine ways that numnuts spell Viagra. > I would like to meet one of these comment spammers > in a dark alley.

I should think you'd want to meet them. They're probably the ones who sneak into your yard and feed their product to the zucchini.

First, gross! I don't have fond memories of my 1970-something VW Dasher Wagon. I was really impressed by Yarns Downtown in Columbus. I had to stop on my way home from a conference at MSU. I got to see and pet a lot of yarn in person

My first car was a 1968 (my birth year) powder blue VW Bug.

My brother totalled it about 3 months after I got it.

"You should leave a trail of giant zucchinis leading from their doorstep all the way to the poo pile. That would freak them out! (and they might even decide to do something about the poo)"

LOVE IT!!!!
LOL!!

You could even make an arrow out of zucchinis and have it point to the pile of poo.

Numnuts! You actually used my favorite word ever. People always look at me strangely when I say it.

If one of those zukes actually makes it to VW proportions, you could hollow it out, have it bronzed, and actually turn it into a vehicle. How fun that would be!

I say cover the poop pile with zukes.

my first brand new car was a vokswagon fox. i loved that car. and it was one of the reasons my husband asked me out -- he's a VW nut we are still married 14 years later. the fox is, sadly, gone.

I don't live in SoCal and the thought of 405 at rush hour sends chills up and down my spine.

And your neighbors? Disgusting!

I second the anonymous call to the health department. There's got to be something prohibiting massive piles of fecal matter so close to a residence.

My first car: A 1989 four-door Chevy Cavalier. I got it when it was already 10 years old. My boyfriend put new door bottoms on and we touched up the paint with a spray made for vinyl luggage, because the existing paint was too faded to match regular vehicle paint. I paid $200 for that car, drove it all over creation and earned enough travel mileage money from work to pay for it and the insurance within three months.

I sold it two years later. For $200.

Hmmm. I'm wondering if poo pile doesn't in some way contribute to the enornimity of the zukes.

Just a thought.

we have crazy Jam Band Porche driving neighbors. They're not that bad.

Zuccini on the doorstep. You must do that, you just must.

What if some of the poop "accidentally" ended up in the pool??? Or, what if you started collecting a big pile of cat hair and threw that in the pool...

They deserve some gadzukes.

my first car was a '70 something Opel manta, redish-orange, with a musical horn. Got hit by a drunk driver in it (unhurt thank God), sold it for $50 and a case of beer and moved on to a Plymouth Arrow. but the worst car I ever drove was a Dodge Omni that my in-laws gave us. It would rev up like crazy and take off like a shot! Scared the "you know what out of me"!

Hey. Some corporately-appropriate Hug Equivalent to White Men in Ties, Inc. -- isn't it refreshing when you want to go to work for a break from grief, when the tasks and the structure and the routine are just what you need? And they send you to some training or something in which you not being 100% doesn't make any difference? And they have snacks? Sometimes work is nice.

One of my first cars was a 1973 Buick LeSabre, a hand-me-down from my stepdad, to whom "a car" meant Something Ginormous from General Motors. We called it The Enterprise, and it got about 8 miles to the gallon. One time we got stuck in a flash flood in Dallas (Tip: Don't) and with water up to the hood, it re-started so we could drive out of the water. It was a monster, but a monster with a heart.

Would have held a ton of zucchini.

How can you NOT love a blog where people mention a 'poo pile' and you know what they are talking about?

Report that poo pile!

LA County Department of Public Health:
(888) 700-9995
http://lapublichealth.org/phcommon/complaints/phcomp.cfm

Glad you're enjoying your class.

--Kathy

My first car was a VW Fox too!!! I LOVED it too!!! Her name was Ezra, even though that is really a boy's name. I'd probably still be driving her, almost 20 years later, except we traded it in after I got married because my husband is 6'6" and just didn't fit in it so well.

You could always toss a packet of zucchini seeds over the fence into the poo pile, along with maybe a sack of compost or something. That way, Zucchini of Doom will grow up big and strong, smash their garden shed via rampant growth, annex their swimming pool and come for the residents in the dark of the night. Or something.

First car? A used 1974 Datsun B210 - the Honeybee version. Puke yellow, bad clutch, kind of smelled.

Can't wait for the pic of the giant zuke sticking out of the poo pile.

ohhh.. I actually DID shudder in pain when you juxtaposed the words "405 freeway" with the words "rush hour." You are one amazing woman - most people would have stabbed someone by now after doing that EVERY DAY.

Hello,
 
Oh wow, I love your blog!!oneoneone
 
I just found it by accident when I was searching google images for snuggle pics for a blog post I was doing. I have one cat, and I'm a woman, I got divorced around eleven years ago, and enjoy a tipple every now and then. Oh, and I have a blog too.
 
Other than that, this blog has nothing in common with me whatsoever but I really love it anyhow! It's so well written, and has bags of style, and fabulous images with tremendous captions. :)
 
I will have to take some time soon and start reading from the beginning. I'm going to put you in my sidebar under "Blogs I Think Are Nifty". And I'm thinking about getting your book and I only just got here.
 
Gosh. ;)
 
Thanks for providing such an entertaining afternoon. :) I look forward to more of them when I get round to reading more. :)
 
Big smiles, from
 
Lubyanka. :)

I thought I was the only one who lived next door to the keeper of dog crap! My neighbor is so lazy that sometimes the dogs don't make it outside to poop. Just think how wonderful that house smells.

If you are carrying a big zucchini they may think you are a satisfied customer...

My first car was a Renault R4, with the gear stick kind of growing out of the dashboard, and a bench for three in the front. It was only two or three years younger than I was myself, and on a bright saturday morning my boyfriend and I took out the carburetor, and cleaned it with a toothbrush- it did not work better after this, but it worked. Go try this on a car today...

Big Zucchini and Viagra in same sentence, almost. Now that is funny!

Regarding Poops and Zukes. Perhaps your backyard neighbors could stuff a few huge zukes with poops.
H'mmm. Now wouldn't that be an interesting 'floater'? Not your average backyard pool accessory.

All you young 'uns with your VW somethings as your first car! Let's hear it for a 1974 Ford Pinto - the one that would blow up if rear ended. I still keep one eye in my rearview mirror at all times.

The 405 needs to give my sister back! She is stuck on it as we speak! She is supposed to be here with me!

Ummm.. you do remember the flaming bag of poo on the porch thing don't you.. Maybe a bunch of candelaria around the pool weighed down w/ poo. Whatever you do, DON'T mention that prank to the neighborhood teenagers, they might think it was a fun thing to do..

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I can just imagine the poop pile falling into the pool. Yikes!

My very first car? 1966 VW with a roll away (hard) sunroof named Herman My Volkswagen. He was MY man! Yep - I'm old - the car was only 2 years old when I got it :) Loved that car - especially the little toggle switch for the radio the guys in the Electronics Lab at the Flight Test Hangar (where I worked) hooked up for me when the real switch died. If somebody would ask me what the switch was for I'd just tell 'em it was an ejection seat for the passenger side :D

Thought of you yesterday when I had Perry Penelope at the vet for a surgical procedure - I sang her "the song", she cuddled me and I cried.

Do zukes float? I think there is an experiment waiting to be tried. Chuck giant zukes into the neighbor's pool.

Are there a lot of flies on or near the poo pile? Someone (Soba) may need to call the Health Department. There are laws about poo.

I am shuddering for you!

Folks who have never lived in LA...people have license plates that say things like "Ih8405"

You are practically traveling to a different state!

Call your local Health Department. You do not have to give them your name. Just give them your neighbors address and tell them that there is this horrible barn yard smell coming from there and that you are afraid that they are keeping pigs or something.

I'm glad your week is almost over!!

My first car was a 1984 Chevy Chevette. It was the ugliest car EVER, especially in the metallic pumpkin that mine came in. I lost the front bumper while driving over the George Washington Bridge in 150 degree heat in traffic. It actually MELTED OFF. I am not kidding.

Have a great (and hopefully poop-free) weekend!!
BTW, how are the cats??

Ok, my now husband was driving a VW Fox when I met and started dating him back in 1989, I think it was a 1988!! I liked that car because it was fairly new and he drove like a bat out of hell in it to the soundtrack of MeatLoaf: Bat out of Hell!!!! Oh, those were the days!!!!

My first car, on the otherhand, was a 1976 Buick LeSabre better known on campus as the Blue Dinosaur! Could fit about 8 of my friends in that sucker and cruise the beach for hours!!! When that died I got my first hand-me-down VW Rabbit, loved it, got another one after that literally BROKE on the road, then that one BROKE too!!! Finally, I'm back in a VW, a Jetta that I LOVE!!!

VW's ROCK!!!!

The first new car my husband and I bought (we were grad students and too poor to afford the upkeep on a beloved old Saab) was a 88 VW Fox. Bright red. What a delightful piece of crap that was. No extras--so no AC and no passenger side mirror. Maybe no shocks. I don't remember any. Definitely no security system. The visible pull-up locks and little triangle front windows screamed break into me and steal stuff please! There were two attempts at that, the last one successful. And the year we paid off the 4-year loan for it we had to replace all 5 tires. Even the spare was bad.

We splurged and had a nice radio/tape player put in it after we bought it. We lived in Buffalo, and one snowy cold morning from our second floor apartment window, I watched a man break into it, and realized with horror he was pulling out the radio--the entertainment system, the heart of our little car. I ran down in my slippers and shouted at him "what the hell are you doing?" and nearly caught up with him before I noticed the metal casing had rather spectacularly sharp-looking corners. I decided to let him have it.

Good times. ;)

I got it, I got it!
Creeping zucchini plant roots -> giant poo pile -> fertiliser -> ginormous zucchini! :-)

My Sammie joined your Roy today. Hope you're doing well. I'll be drinking to both of them tonight!

calling the health dept is a fantastic idea!

when my went used car shopping in 1985 with exactly 6 dollars to find the car that would take me 700 miles away to college in 1986, i only had 3 requests: no green, no orange, no station wagons.

he bought me a 1979 dark blue ford fairmont. station wagon. ~sigh~

ever-body sing "two outa three ain't bad..."

and huggles to Stephanie for losing Sammie today :o( toast to you from Hotlanta...

oh, and my station wagon was held together with wire coat hangers and duct tape. seriously.

Yeah....I moved back to Idaho after living off the 405 in Orange County. And it's not NEARLY as bad down there as in LA. I feel for ya....

Hey, I've been passing you on the 405, going the other way to Orange County. I was a computer type in my working life and all my classes were up in LA, at DEC and IBM. I spent the morning recovering from the drive in and the afternoon gearing up for the drive home, checking my watch, wondering when the instructor would shut up and let us out, thinking, "OK, if I left in the next 5 minutes, I could possibly be home by 8:00..."

On the poop front, I reported my neighbor to the health dept, couldn't be anonymous in OC. They sent a form to fill out which had such questions as, "How many deposits per square yard?" I think it had to be over 20-some to be actionable. I climbed a ladder to look over the wall, took pictures. Ah, fun times.

Oh, and I had an Opel Kadett, 1969, lemon yellow. Whenever it rained all the windows steamed up so that I had to open them all to see out. Luckily it was a drought period and seldom rained.

wow - who knew?! zucchini have more uses than duct tape!

Ha! My father's truck got attacked by a deer too! And lest you think by "truck" I mean "4x4" or "elevator vehicle you need a stepladder to climb into", the truck was a Mazda SE2000. It was affectionately known as "The Canary" because it made a sound like one when it was running. *I* called it "The Tinker-Toy Truck" because it looked like one compared to the "real" thing. It was basically a 2-door car with a bed in the back. (I learned to drive standard in that truck! Oh, the poor clutch...)

Anyway, deer versus truck. Deer jumps into the road and into the side of the truck. Truck is apparently afraid. Deer wins. Deer bound off back into the woods. Truck emerges with a huge dent in the side of the door panel and a side-view mirror hanging by a thin piece of plastic, which was pretty much what the whole truck was made out of anyway.

Oh yes, this is the same truck that got side-swiped by some little old man (and I mean little, and old). My dad was driving. My mild-mannered mother was in the passenger seat. Little old man runs a red light. Hits the Mazda. Mild-mannered mother is furious. Does not know it was a little old man who just side-swiped her Tinker-Toy truck. In an effort to get at the asshole that just smashed into the car, mild-mannered mother RIPS THE PLASTIC DOOR HANDLE OFF FROM THE INSIDE. (It's just as well, because then she couldn't rip the little old man's head off before realizing he was little, and old.)

Had no idea how many people had fond memories of their old VWs. When our family got a second car it was a Beetle, which Mom used to drive 3 kids around in. Dad had the ginormous station wagon in which to drive to work. By himself. Go figure. But that car DID NOT DIE. It eventually had a faded red body, one blue taillight and one yellow front fender but it still ran. My brothers had it for their first car, it was about 10 years old by then.

I think you should take one of those giant zucchinis, tie a poop colored ribbon around it, and leave it on the poop-o-philes doorstep at 2:48 am and ring the doorbell and run like hell. :D If you're feeling really naughty you could garnish it with a dog turd and a nice Martha Stewart style note that says "For your collection. Best regards, Crazy Aunt Purl"

If nothing else it'll make them wonder and they might just take it as a warning to get their shit together... literally. :D

I'm recalling how my grandparents and the counselors at summer camp handled outhouse smells and I'm recalling the liberal use of quick lime (not the citrus but the powdered kind). I also seem to recall the counselors pouring some kind of powdered lysol in there. I believe the lime helps it decompose faster. (Of course, when you buy it, make sure you do not mention how you hate someone, how they will pay for this, etc. or someone might think you have an even more nefarious use of quick lime.)

Maybe there's some kind of horrible powdery thing you can pour on the fecal pile -- if nothing else, make it stink in a perfumey way and maybe THAT will motivate them to clean it up.

The only danger to any of these is if they have animals that go near there -- I can't vouch for the safety of quick lime (although my father uses lime to keep the rabbits out of his green beans*).

*He discovered that the rabbits figured out if they crawled UNDER the beans and UNDER the lime, they could still eat the beans and not get sick.

Of course, you can drop off a baseball bat sized zucchini in a paper bag with some of their stuff in it and set it on fire and leave it on their doorstep......

Ah I'm not alone. No pile but it must be spread liberally. On a hot sunshiny day the whiff-o-poo whafts into my yard and windows thanks to to 3 dogs next door and their lazy owners. You have my complete sympathy

I suspect your little red Volkswagen Fox and my little red VW Rabbit are up in car heaven, swappin' stories. Mine threw a timing belt in the middle of the west Texas desert (had to hitch-hike 65 miles), plowed through a barbed wire fence while driving to rescue an old lady with a broken ankle, stared down a Winnebago on a one lane mountain road, and had sorghum sprout up in the back seat when a good old TX flood found the wedding birdseed that was too far down in the cracks to vacuum out. I had wonderful times with that car, and I still miss it.

And a bagful of flaming dog poo!

I can't believe nothing's been done about that yet! That's awful!

Hey, there's something I want to send you, is there a way to get your snail mail addy? I'm NOT a weirdo stalker - and I don't have the $ to fly from PA to LA to gitcha!

I have another idea... gather up your giant zucchini and a bunch of bamboo skewers and a magic marker... stick the zucchinis together with the skewers in the shape of a zucchini monster! Use the magic marker to draw a scary looking face on it. Leave the zucchini monster on the doorstep of the poo neighbors late one night and run away. Wait for shrieks of confusion emanating from the front yard the next morning.

Or you could get an envelope of zucchini seeds and chuck em over the fence near the poo mound. Spearmint also is very aggressive and would take over their lawn and it might just smell better than the poo.

My first car was so totally cool that I am still driving it 26 years later, a 1968 Camaro convertible with all the hot rod stuff that makes guys drool....met my first boyfriend because of that car! Still meet guys because of it. My dad never thought it would be such a lasting attachment, and I secretly think he's tired of fixing it for me, but no other car ever came close to replacing it. I drive and enjoy it every day, what good is a classic car that just sits in a garage?!

I feel your pain about the 405 and LAX. When my corgi was having his radiation treatments, we went up to Sherman Oaks mid- morning/ early afternoon but we always had to go home to San Diego right during the evening work traffic. Down the 405, past LAX to the 5 and south. But I must say that in the LA area they don't seem to tailgate and change lanes suddenly and for no reason as much as down here.

I seriously think you ought to throw some of the zucchini seeds over the fence into the poo pile. It will make great fertilizer, the plants will break down the poo so there will be less smell, and the seemingly oblivious neighbors will be mystified by their sudden invasion of giant Zukes!

I hate dog poo. My boyfriend is always so proud of the fact that his kitchen has a view of the park. I make him pull the blinds so I don't have to watch the dogs taking a dump while I'm eating my breakfast. *barf*

I think you should dry out a zucchini, light it on fire, heave it over into the poo pile, which will combust and burn their house down. You might want to be "out of town" when this happens.

Or hire someone with the proper equipment to sneak into their yard and shovel the poo pile into the pool. And when I say "proper equipment", I mean (1) gas mask (2) big shovel (3) dog-resistant suit and (4) large cojones!!!

Seriously, just call the Health Department ... :)

I was thinking about my first car just yesterday. Maybe you were sending first car thought waves out into the universe. A 65 VW bug, but not acquired until 70. At the time I thought that was VERY old for a car. Of course when we got rid of it in 81 it was very old. Poor baby.

OMG! My second & third cars were VW Foxes...I swear if someone hadn't slammed into my door at top speed I would probably still be driving that car! It was blue with a white driver side door (you'd think he could see that white door, right?)...and I LOVED them both. There were no acts of God involved in the destruction of my VWs...just people.

Oh lord all the zuchinni! I'm in the same boat, except I planted twelve plants. TWELVE! Why? My Grandma loves the things. But if you need a rockin southern zuchinni bread recipe i'll be happy to pass it on;) Heck, you might already have it!
Bless your southern knitting heart!

Hey, those gi-normus zukes are handy if you live near water. My b-i-l uses them for fishing canoes. Just cut in half and hollow out. Works right well!
I greatly enjoy your blog, whateveh the topic. Thanks!

After reading the 100 or so comments (yep, I read 'em all too)I almost forgot while I was gonna comment in the first place. Oh right! When I saw the title "Class Dynamics" I was really hoping for some Purl commentary on her fellow workshoppers. Hmmm?

OMG! Biodome is going to be on TV in a few minutes!!!!! My eyes, my eyes!!!

I'm sorry; I just couldn't resist!! ;o)

I think you could rid yourself of *all* unwanted zucchinis by randomly putting them on people's doorsteps in the wee hours of the night.

My one and only new car was a red Fox too. And, true to its name (Redd Foxx), it was something out of Sanford and Son. The car was held together with duct tape. Literally. My trunk leaked, the carpet got moldy, so I took it up--and there it was--duct tape, spray-painted red.

And then the stick shift came off in my hand while I was driving.

But still, I loved that car. (Even though I didn't spring for the passenger-side rearview mirror.)

Thanks for the memories!

Someone may have already suggested this to you, but I am far to lazy to read all your comments. (It seems kind of nosy too.) (No I am not from the South.) Why don't you get one of those comment verification thingy-ma-bobs? Yes, that is what they are really called. That should cut way back on the spam. Luurve your blog.

It was pretty normal, 'til the last line! Glad I didn't have any soda pop in my mouth or it would have sprayed all over my computer!

Having read the new Potter book on saturday, last night I had the strangest dream of how to save the world from you-know-who: In this dream, the war between good and bad was fought (and won) with big, soft, green zucchini.

I thought you might be amused (or appalled) by this story. Someone has recorded an album called "Songs for Ice Cream Trucks".

http://www.wired.com/entertainment/music/news/2007/07/icecream_music

Laurie, you are probably the only person I know, besides my Dad, that has lived in Columbus, MS.

My grandparents actually lived in the Gulf camp at Baxterville, MS and my Dad would ride a bus (not the school bus, but a Greyhound) from Baxterville, MS to Columbus each morning, and back again every night. He did that for a full year and then, beginning with his Sophomore year, he stayed in Columbus during the week and went home to Baxterville just on weekends.

He lived during the week in a room over a soda shop and he cleaned that shop/diner in the evenings to cover his room and board. He was allowed meals as part of the arrangement with the shop owner. Of course, this was all about 55 years ago, so Columbus had probably changed a little bit by the time you were there.

I was going to suggests setting the pile afire too, but I am sure that is a potentially dangerous solution - with my luck, the flames would probably spread to my house, leaving "Yelling Neighbors" domicile untouched. I saw a product called "Septo-Bac" an enzyme-active biological compound formulated to increase the digestion rate of sewage. Apparently, it is sold at Wal-Mart - its used in the disposal systems of RV's and the like. If its not too expensive, it may solve your problem without a 'neighbor war'. Good luck - sometimes bad neighbors can really make life unpleasant! The poo mountain is a good metaphor for a bad neighbor.

Ahh...first car memories. Mine was a 1970 Ford Maverick. I got my license in 1981 so the car was just a wee bit out of date. It was a hand-me-down from my Dad. Initially, it was avocado green (hey, I said it was a 1970 car) w/ black and white buffalo plain interior (now, why?). But, the 'rents felt a bit guilty, I guess, about it not being new so they had the engine overhauled, new tires, new brakes and told me I could pick out a new paint job and interior for it.

Here's a clue: do NOT let the 16 year old girl pick out the paint/interior of a car. In my infinite teenage wisdom, I decided that metallic starbust royal blue would be the right paint color to go with. And the interior became a blue/black plaid with blue trim.

And thus, the "Blue Beast" was born.

Of course, all the funky paint and new interior in the world couldn't make up for the lack of air conditioning, power anything and, worst of all, nothing but AM radio.

I was terminally branded as "uncool."

My first car was in 1989, it was a new Nissan Sentra. Passenger rear view mirror was OPTIONAL and I opted not to get it --> too cheap. Also, radio/casette was not standard either. It was a tin tuna can to say the least but I loved it. It was mine and I'd worked hard to save up the money. I still miss that car today even though I'm glad to have upgraded. ;-)

Wonderful post, Laurie!

FYI...
August 8th is apparently "Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day."

I believe its on the 'good uses for too excessive zucchini' list.

http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/August/sneakzucchini.htm

I say nothing beats poop in a pool for dramatic effect. When you leave the giant zucchini on the doorstep, add a King Size Baby Ruth to the gift pile!

http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/my-special-zucchini-bread-recipe-recipe.html

a link for zuke bread. it sounds delicious!

Bossy totally remembers the VW Fox and in fact took one for a test drive and tried to talk her new husband into buying it! The problem was: Bossy and her husband are very tall and in order to see through the Fox's windshield they had to hunker over just a little.

"Perfect field of vision is overrated when driving," Bossy tried. "Especially out this here front window."

They bought a Mazda instead.

Yes, trees do fall on cars. Mine was just a partial tree, but it did fall on my 89 Toyota Corolla. It was just last September. I remember it well: it was my first date after my husband walked out. Hard to forget a thing like that. One of my two-year-olds still recalls the incident. She says, "Mommy's car, tree fall, BOOM!"

Funny thing though, when the insurance guy came and cut up the offending wood, the car sprang back up on its shocks and was almost as good as new.

Act of God? Perhaps. Really just a testament of the Toyota!!! Oh, and the relationship is still going well too. :)

Purl,

Now it ALL makes sense to me--EuroDisco and giant piles of crap TOTALLY go together.

Sign me the Grrrl who has been held hostage in my house in Belgium by EuroDisco festivals in my neighborhood.

Purl,

Now it ALL makes sense to me--EuroDisco and giant piles of crap TOTALLY go together.

Sign me the Grrrl who has been held hostage in my house in Belgium by EuroDisco festivals in my neighborhood.