Is that MULCH I spy?

Congrats on your beautiful zucchini. Enjoy handing them out to co-workers, neighbors, mere acquaintances, etc. Before you know it people will cross the street to avoid you so you don't keep giving them zucchini. :o) I will have to dig up the world's best zucchini bread recipe, which even picky kids will eat.

Sounds like my gardening attempt in New York...it rained so much, what didn't drown was eaten by slugs. I got two *very* hot serrano peppers, a hanful of fresh peas, a few tomatillos, and A TON of mint...I didn't plant any mint.

I made a lot of mojitos that summer.

HA! YES!

Hit the 'post' button too soon...congrats on the zukes!

Whoa! Is that a zucchini or are you just glad to see me?

Very impressive!

Mmm ... chocolate zucchini cake.

Yay zucchini!! My mom has a great recipe for chocolate zucchinin cake if you want it.

Hoohaa! I almost just spit out some coffee.

So glad that I am not the only one who uses that word as if it was an actual medical term.
(btw: I happen to work in the medical industry where I have to use technical terms for "genitalia" on a daily basis)
But when I'm not talking to a doctor or nurse - It's hoohah all the way! :)

Are you soon going to become Crazy Aunt Zuke? Or maybe you could sell zucchini bread to support your yarn & cat litter habits?

ooo! next year you have to trying growing your own loofah!

http://groovygreen.com/groove/?p=689#more-689

i wanted to get some seeds, but currently i have nowhere to allow them to grow crazy.

You know, you can totally fry up those zucchini! (If the okra do not come through!)

last year I accidently grew the SUPER SQUASH and ended up with about 15 the size of your SUPER ZUC. Just try and give those things away...people run and hide when they see you coming!

Robiny -
That's funny.... people run and hide when they see me coming, and I don't even have ginormous veggies...
hmmmmm

Well, welcome to my gardening world. I can grow squash, summer squash that is, like there is no tomorrow, fall, or winter and I live in Maine. Forget about peppers (massive failure that was sad to watch), forget string beans (try fighting the Japanese beetles for your share - Uck!), forget tomatoes (which do run riot but the horned green monster that feeds off the leaves is too scary to contemplate, much less come face to face to whilst harvesting causing me to scream and run across the back yard, and I wonder why my neighbors think I'm crazy), forget watermelon or eggplant or anything else that requires more than minimal care and watering. Squash is figuratively coming out of my hoohaa. I SAID figuratively. Not like I'm shooting kids out right and left, I don't have any kids but I do have squash, lots and lots of lovely pale yellow summer squash that sautees up into a nice carmelized brown mixture with onions. Heavenly!

I am going to try for 100 lbs of a pumpkin this summer. I am. That's thinking REAL positive.

I am glad that your Dad's peppers are okay so far anyway, I was wondering how they were doing.

This morning I have flowers on my pea plants, I was so excited! That's a step in the right direction.

You do realize, of course, that your zucchini plant is plotting a takeover of the entire backyard?

Prune it back a little bit, but don't worry - you won't run out of zukes. Just curb its enthusiasm a bit. Trust me, the ONE TIME I tried to grow zucchini, the plant successfully overtook my entire garden patch.

Get used to cooking a lot of zucchini. This can be a very good thing. For example, you can find lots of amazing recipes for stuffed zucchini blossoms (you can bake 'em, or stuff, batter and deep-fry them - can I get an amen?). To die for. Zucchini fritters are also awesome!

some parmesan cheese and a little bread crumbs and an egg, cut those zucchini into strips, bread them and fry them up. Delicious with marinara. Love the cat comparison!

Holy Moley! that's one big ZUKE!
You could shred them, add parm and a bit of eg and make zucchini hash browns.
I'm having pretty good luck with my garden but today I found my first evidence that I have horned caterpillars in my giant tomato plants...little bastards

In my childhood, we grew zucchini the size of baseball bats and then played hit the wiffle ball with the zucchini!

I'm glad Samantha said something... I was going to warn you that Zucchini are the Mussolini of the garden world! I think if they had the ability (or fingers) they would come into our homes and start zucchini-blogs in their move to take over the WORLD Mwa-ha-ha-haaaaaaaa *cough-sputter*.

On another note, zucchini fritters=aweseomness
Enjoy your Mega-veggies! :)

PS....it's still early in the season...give the Cukes a chance...and the secret with tomatos is Even water....yup a pint a day per plant. I'm a know it all when it comes to tomatoes

Wow! That zucchini is huge! Hey, at least somethings are still growing.

Nice thumb!

zucchini bread

fried zucchini (calabazita) with corn

YUM

JuliAnne,
heeheee~selling zucchini to support her cat litter habit~heee.
Laurie has a cat litter habit..heeee.

My philosophy on the garden is that there is a perfectly fabulous garden at the local Farmers Market. All the veggies I could want for the purchase. No watering, no fertilizing, no beetles, no screaming through the yard because weird bugs are after me. Just lovely veggies for my choosing, and I can have more than one okra pod :-).

My mom had been told to plant a hard boiled egg with her tomato plants and so far, it's working. The plant is alot bigger than last year and it has more tomato spuds(?) on it. She happy.

My tomatoes are going like gangbusters this year as are my bell peppers.... My secret is Miracle-Gro Moisture Control potting soil. It's more expensive than regular soil but I'm also a gardener who keeps the plants guessing on when they're getting a drink. This potting soil has given me a lot of veggies and the tomatoes don't seem to mind when I forget them for a week.... accidentally of course!

Good for you, Laurie!

Raw zucchini chopped in pasta salad.....

And here's a southern/square-foot-gardening trick for you. Plant your okra in amongst your zucchini (either all as seeds or all as seedlings) when you set them out. The big leaves of the zucchini plant will help keep in moisture around the okra and you'll have okra growing where there would otherwise just be shaded dirt. Also, the more you cut okra, the shorter it stays, and the more it pods it produces.

Happy Day!

Enjoyed your positivity! The baby zukes are great raw in salads, much like cucumber. The bigger they get, the more they're suitable for baking as bread, cakes, cookies, etc. Maybe even zuke pancakes and muffins.

My dad brought home a GIANT zuke (as wide as the stove!) when we were kids and cooked it up like mashed potatoes or applesauce and it was naaaaasty!

So get those babies picked in their youth. They'll be easier to give away, too.

Wow that's huge. We've been having a major drought here in Atlanta so I haven't planted anything. I have minimal success with tomatoes normally. I think it's because I'm not very good at the normal watering either. Basil will grow like crazy if you want to try another herb.

You have discovered the gardening secret that I learned two years ago...stop paying attention to your zucchini for a few days and you will end up with some as big as a child's leg. (great for shredding and making batches and batches of zucchini bread)

I accidentally planted six (yes 6) sweet 100 tomato plants last year - I mistakenly thought that they were cherry tomatoes. They are but they should call them sweet one hundred and eleventy thousand tomatoes. I also had (figuratively) veggies coming out of my hoohaa.

There are only so many recipes that use cherry type tomatoes and you CAN get tired of eating them every day. I thought I might try to find a cherry tomato beer recipe but no luck.

OH MY GOODNESS. In the picture of it on the ground, the zucchini looks big but not HUGE. But with the cat for scale? DAMN, yo. That is one big ol' squash. Zucchini bread for everyone!

Somewhere we have a picture of my baby sister at three months old with a zucchini next to her, and the zucchini is larger than she was... no matter what you do, there is always one behemouth lurking under the leaves. Now I need to go buy me a zucchini plant or two!

I am SO relieved that you have no veggies in your hoohah. Thank you for reassuring us.

Another excellent way to use zucchini is to slice them lengthwise and use them instead of pasta in lasagna. It's very yummy, and you don't have to precook them.

With new slang expressions popping up every day, I was getting a bit worried when you said that you had pepper plants springing forth from your patio region. Thank you for making it clear that you don't actually have plants in your hoohah.

Just this weekend I heard about a zucchini festival they used to have up in Keene, New Hampshire. The locals knew that when you parked your car, you'd better roll up your windows or people would FILL UP YOUR CAR WITH ZUCCHINI.

Just a thought...just in case...

oh yeah, i remember victor. that is too bad he passed on. sorry to hear.

The urge to garden truly is embedded somewhere in the genetic code of us Southeners. Every Spring, I have one or two days where I experience some kind of desperate need to dig in the dirt. Fortunately, putting a couple of flowers in the ground seems to soothe my craving, and then within a few hours, the dirt does not seem nearly so enticing anymore. Every year, my wife talks about planting vegetables, but I just refuse to participate in that undertaking. I grew up with a father who planted almost an acre of vegetables every year, and after enduring all that work, I have vowed that my fresh veggies can come from the local grocery until the end of time. Still, I completely understand your mysterious and uncontrollable desire to garden, and I congratulate any success that you have. Best wishes from Alabama!

Bring on the zucchini bread! And fried zucchini! Boiled zucchini with butter! Barbecued! Roasted!
Heh, sorry, it's almost lunchtime here in NM. One more minute!

Seems the cuc maybe didn't have enough time on the vine...
However...just for the record, August 8th is leave a zucchini on your neighbors porch day, you are going to be ready!

Zukes look yummy. Enjoy. I'm so jealous. Our entire property is shade in summer. I can't even have a puny potted tomato. All we grow are champion weeds, and the stupid fearless deer eat everything else!

Two summers ago we had so much zucchini that my husband became the Bread Making Machine, experimenting with mix-ins (coconut! and chocolate chips! and bananas! Once, all together!) and I was very popular at the office.

When I was a kid, we had some get so big, I imagined carving them out and wearing them as clown shoes.

Really? The possibilities for adventure with zucchini truly never stop. You could even make your own continuous strip, knit it, pour some sauce & cheese on it & have baked knitted zucchini. LIMITLESS my friend. But do not make it into eyelash anything. Please.

You're absolutely right. It is some sort of Southern compulsion that makes us desire to grow a veggie, any veggie, each spring. I do this all the time. My husband (a yankee that grew up on a farm no less) really wishes I would get over this. I think he is quite tired of listening to all my hairbrained schemes for growing veggies.... successfully this time.

Mmmm...zucchini. With the giant ones you can make "googoots." I have no idea how to spell that, but in some dialect of Italian it means "the fruits that grew too big to feed to the people, so you feed them to the pigs." And googoots are delicious.

Cut your giant zucc into thin, round slices and fry them in olive oil until they turn quite brown. Toss them with spaghetti and a sharp grating cheese (I like Locatelli pecorino romano). SOO good. I thank my recently-departed Grandma Hazel for the recipe every time I make it.

Hey the way I look at it, the death of a plant just means it was meant to be compost and help the next plant out.
And OMG on that squash!!! I didnt realize how big it was until it was set next to the normal sized cat! UNBELIVABLE!! How do you plan on cooking it??

I think that southern women have something that inspires their souls toward blue-ribbon-county-fair-gardening. I hate vegetables, but I've got lettuce, squash, parsley, basil, and watermelon in my front flowerbed. One of my closest friends lines up tomato plants along her driveway.

Also, with the caption on that last photo, you should go read The $64 Tomato by William Alexander.

Ah, gardens! I have tiny green tomatoes on my potted tomato plant. I've had very good luck with cherry tomatoes in pots, though not in California. My faves are the yellow pear tomatoes. This year I also have a black cherry tomato. The plant right now is half the size of the pear tomato, no conclusion yet on fruit.

For Amy: No beer, but I have a tomato wine recipe around somewhere if you are interested. (Also carrot, parsnip... it's a weird book!)

Someone posted about zucchini blossom fritters (thank god for spellcheck - 2 c one n)... you can control your harvest or not that way, depending on whether you pick only male flowers or both male and female. The female flowers have an itty bitty zucchini at the base, no kidding, and the boys have nothing. (Er, will refrain from analogy with humans...)

Okra is less than a foot tall? Bossy watched her show yesterday and she didn't look that short but maybe the TV adds pounds and removes height. (old old old Bossy joke, she knows.)

Yay Jy-normous zucchini! They're fabulous grilled.
Here in metro ATL the jalapenos are all a-bloomin and my first first ever jalapeno is happily growing and is now almost an inch long! Whoohoo salsa here we come!

Hoohah! Gadzukes!

I wonder - could you grow square zucchini?

Laurie! I spent years in elementary school:

1. staying in at recess to crochet and embroider;
2. reading my mother's cache of self-help books (my favorite was "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk").

You and I must have some DNA in common.

Kathleen

Ok - here's a great way to enjoy your zucchini AND pasta without any carbs. Make a great pasta sauce (or buy one). Then take your mondo zucchini, and a vegetable peeler and cut
ribbons of zucchini (like fettucini, but greener!),drop in boiling water for 30 sec then remove and place in a pan of heated pasta sauce, toss, and dust with a grate of fresh
parmesan....DELISH.

Last year my sister gave me a zuchinni from her garden that was as big as yours. It sat on my NYC windowsill for about 6 months. It was my urban ode to gardening until my four year old decided to adopt it as her new baby for her babystroller and we lost it somewhere in Central Park.

OMG Laurie this was one of those posts that had so much humor in it I am having tears coming out of my eyes! You are such an amazing writer!

The giant zucchini is actually part of Soba's secret manifesto. Shhh!! Don't tell her I told you... If she can grow massive squash with her mind, she can easily make my death look like an accident.

Yay! Zucchini! We're harvesting about 2 a day and yes, if you turn your back they grow into monsters. I toss zucchini with some pasta and cut up sausage (apple-gouda sausage from Costco - yummmmm). I can eat this every night and just might to keep up with the crop.

I read that the first flowers are male and they are only there to attract bees. Then when the female flowers blossom, the bees know where the plant is and can pollinate it.

Holy Crap! Those are some mighty zucchini!

You should have Mrs. Lee teach you how to make Korean ho-bak, essentially, battered and pan-fried zucchini slices dipped in soy sauce. Growing up, it was one of my absolute favorite ways of eating zucchini. Mmmmmmmmm.

And as a fire escape gardener, I, too, understand the pain of spending gobs of money to get a little burp of an herb, a hint of a mangled cuke, and a pot fulla nasty unidentifiable weeds and nothin' else.

Aunt Purl, this one made me laugh more than any other post EVER. Holy crap, that zucchini is far too phallic to take seriously. I love it!

Funny, funny post. Yet again, the other vegetables in my cube farm think I'm losing it.

Is Sobakowa weaponizing that zucchini? Should we worry?

Speaking of worries, if I retrieve the dismayingly ancient hard-boiled eggs from the back of my fridge and bury them under my patio tomatoes, will raccoons dig them out? Raccoons are the un-helpy-ist animals in North America.

I may be the only person in the world who can't grow zucchini. Bushels of herbs, tomatoes, green beans and peppers, no problem. But zucs? Gorgeous plant, lots of flowers, then no fruit.

Oh well.

Tee hee hee! Here in the lovely Pacific Northwest it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to kill zucchini. I know, I've tried...
But since I haven't a garden this year, and when your neighbors have gotten an restraining order prohibiting you from "anonymous" donations of zucchini I will be more than happy to take some off your hands. Send via UPS CoD!
Love ya!

Time for square zucchini!

Ha! We have the same watering strategy.
I have hardly planted anything because we are tearing apart the garden, and I don't want to plant & unplant 20 times.
At least your peppers are doing well. That is a mighty impressive zuke.

The zukes could come in handy in many ways but, sharing your aversion to openly claiming perversion, I just say congrats on the garden success. Bread it, fry it, steam it and grill it. Or, use it for your own sick purposes such as you may be inclined.

I loved the little engine book, too. My other 'self-helpy' kids book that I slept with was Petunia. I liked the busy body eating firecrackers - does that make me weird?

Um, CAP, I have your solution to the Mystery Water Schedule (and, thus, skimp okra and nasty cucs). Drip irrigation and a timer! Seriously. I bought a bunch of little black tubing, drippers, and a battery operated timer that screws onto my hose hook-up thingamajig. It took me about 3 hours to set it up, and I now have a Rosemary bush that is about to take over my back yard (it's already swallowed my toddler twice, but that's another story)!

Wow!

I like to imagine that you take the Super Zuc with you everywhere you go. It sits in the little child seat of the shopping cart at Target and gets its own seat on the bus on the way to work each morning.

That will teach those tomatoes a lesson!

I'm so glad we found a reason to celebrate Victor one last time. =)

By the way-- if you want to eat your Zucchs without lots of sugar and other stuff, they are sweeter when they are under about 12 inches long-- but I LOVE Zucchini Bread, so GO FOR IT! The photo with the Ruler of All She Beholds is awesome.

By the way: healthy but still tastes good, with zucchini: Cut zucchs the long way into 3/4 inch thick slices. Lay out in baking pan. Brush exposed side with olive oil. Sprinkle garlic all over-- lightly. Crumble feta cheese thickly over each slice of zucchini. THICKLY. Add ridiculous amounts of basil (I use dried herbs), a little oregano and a little parsley over the feta. RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS. Pour milk into the bottom of the baking pan until it's about 1/4 inch thick. Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes or until the feta starts to brown on the top tips. YUM!! And-- it's an easy rescipe that even *I* don't screw it up!! Just don't let the milk burn too much. (I, who have a sprouted garlic clove on my back patio, and a collection of self-help children's books in my library.)

Thyme is one of those plants that loves it where it loves it and vanishes in places it doesn't (hottish, dryish places). I never could grow it in Texas but I have a garden path planted with it now, in Minnesota. So I can make bad puns about "some people have time on their hands but I have thyme on my feet."

I am very impressed by the size of your squash. You should make zuccini bread!

Yay, you can always count on zucchini! Try the yellow ones too, they're my favourites. And zucchini have a really long growing season too.

Tomatoes need to be watered like twice a day. Next time try grafted tomatoes though ("supertoms" or similar), they grow freakishly fast and tend to recover well if you've neglected them for a while.

Oh hey, other vegetables that are REALLY easy to grow are peas and beans. It's probably too late in the year to plant them now, but keep them in mind for next year.

And we're still waiting for the return of the square watermelon!

Yeah, don't let those zucchini get too big unless you want to heat up your house baking bread.

I must admit to being one of those people leaving bags in cars with windows rolled down and on people's front porches.

But I offset that by making zucchini bread and delivering it to shut-ins come winter and shoveling their walks for them.

Karma. It's all about the karma.

Mmmm..zucchini bread. Maybe you should plant your tomatoes upside down next year.
http://www.curbly.com/DIY-Maven/posts/1766-Upside-Down-Tomato-Plant-Update

crayl -- thanks for the "August 8th is Leave Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch" post. I ~KNEW~ there was a special day for such shenanigans.

I just about choked on my bottled water when I saw the zuke-Soba comparison pic. Holy frijoles!

OOOH! Zuchini bread! (Well, a lotta zuchini bread, but still)

Funky Big Zucchini would be a good name for a band. And WOW, do you have nuclear waste in your backyard? Because that is a mutant zucchini! You should enter it in a fair or something.

Grate that big sucker up and make zucchini bread. It'll be too tough for a nice sautée.

And, peppers in the hoohah sound painful. I'm happy that wasn't one of those too-much-information sharing moments.

Oh, and also, did you notice you spelled "yard" with an "n" - made it into yarn. You are such a knitter. My hands frequently type knitting words when I mean to type something else.

I have an awsome Idea!!!!!! Put the freakishly large Zuc in your Freakishly large purse to use as a self defence weapon!! You can brandish (I think thats the word) it at that scary man on the bus!

Your gardening philosophy is just like mine! Like, flowers that grew before people were around, dropped seeds on top of the ground and made new flowers without being planted. Yeah. This is a new year for gardening for me too. But this time, I'm gonna get tomatoes - in the plural. We'll see.

Hi,
I also always 'plant' things outside where ever I HAPPEN to live.. even if I have to hide my cherry tomato plants amongst shrubbery.

Alas, I don't have a way to plant anything here in the big city.. we have balconies -- but, they are INSIDE balconies-- I mean that.. not open to the outdoors. *I think it's because of the 'air pollution' and the evil yellow dust that is around several months out of the year.

And, no matter what- every few weeks.. I still buy some THYME, BASIL or ROSEMARY plants and put them on the 'glass enclosed balcony' but, they die w/in days.. I think it's kind of like shining a magnifying glass on the plants? But, I still try- as a matter of fact- my most recent attempt to have rosemary live out there is all dried up and brittle.

Not enough sunlight coming into the rooms- however, I am able to keep orchids alive and blooming- so, I guess it's a trade-off. No herbs for me- just pretty flowers to look at. :D

But, is it wrong- to want to cook w/ fresh herbs like I've always used? Sigh..

I have gladiola bulbs on my kitchen counter (right below the "Proctastinate!" sign) with leaves and leetle roots! My hollyhocks are behaving Strangely and I inherited a tomato plant which I'm afraid to take out of the pot....but zucchini? Cut it lengthwise, steam it, scrape out the inside (leaving a nice shell). Mix it with egg, breadcrumbs and fresh-grated parmesan. (When you think you've put in too much cheese..double it!) Bake that until it's gone all goldeny-yummy. I can live on that, and now that I don't work anymore I don't get free zukes! Hmmm...may have to poll the neighbors. I'm jealous of your garden!

Mmmmm zucchini bread!
Make kids eat it by calling it cinnamon bread and they won't know the difference and later you can tease them about how you TRICKED them into eating veggies but THEY WON'T CARE because zucchini bread is seriously yummy.

Mmmmmm!

Anyway -- do you think this has to do with container vs non-container gardening? I can't think of what else. Less sun where the container plants reside? Less wine? Maybe Mrs Lee is sneaking over into the back 40 late at night?

If you've got the money, honey, I've got the thyme...

I once grew the Zucchinis That Ate Greater Boston, and one evening I snuck over to our neighbors' house and left two of them on their kitchen table, only I forgot to close the screen door quietly behind me, so as I reached our yard I heard it slam, and as I reached our back porch I heard, "LUCIA!!" After which I attempted no further veggie foistage, although it's said that if you visit New England in August you should lock your car, lest you return to find it full of zucchini.

Oh mama - careful with that zucchini. Maybe plant a pattypan and spaghetti squash with it next year lest you find yourself up to your eyeballs in zucchini without hope of escape.

Either way though - much congrats on your successful harvest so far. If I can say so without sounding XXX nasty, I find that there is no therapy better than vegetable therapy.

OMG you make me LOL...I'm sick with a horrible cold...feel like S@*t and still I LOL. That my dear is some awesome squash!!!!!!!!

OMG you make me LOL...I'm sick with a horrible cold...feel like S@*t and still I LOL. That my dear is some awesome squash!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the post - I check back alll the time. This is like the best book ever. I keep thinking, something this great can't go on forever...especially once you get discovered and become an 'overnite' success self-helpy self-realization author-speaker.

But back to today...WOW...that IS a big zuke, it looks as if it could roll Soba flat...yikes! Hmmm, maybe I outa dump my okra; I've been two months and NO okra, but couple rounded weird leaves each. I love that recipe just a bit above...stuffed with crumbs & cheese and baked - can't go wrong!

I totally love your eleventy-ton squash! :)

My gardening secret... (shhhh) ... Nasturtiums. Yes, those nasty-nasturtiums will grow out of cement (pronounced 'CE-ment) if they have to. They grow well from seeds, love bad soil, and dare you to neglect them. Allegedly they're edible (so they just might fill that southern gardening desease/desire of yours), but I like them 'cause they're just so darned cute!

My gardening secret... (shhhh) ... Nasturtiums. Yes, those nasty-nasturtiums will grow out of cement (pronounced 'CE-ment) if they have to. They grow well from seeds, love bad soil, and dare you to neglect them. Allegedly they're edible (so they just might fill that southern gardening desease/desire of yours), but I like them 'cause they're just so darned cute!

My gardening secret... (shhhh) ... Nasturtiums. Yes, those nasty-nasturtiums will grow out of cement (pronounced 'CE-ment) if they have to. They grow well from seeds, love bad soil, and dare you to neglect them. Allegedly they're edible (so they just might fill that southern gardening desease/desire of yours), but I like them 'cause they're just so darned cute!

I wonder if the big pile o' poo next to the back forty had anything to do with that monster squash...

I'm surprised no one suggested a zucchini carving contest, come the fourth of July or Hallowe'en -- or earlier, at a barbecue.

Yep, there is no such thing as just a little zucchini.

Oh yum, fried zucchini! Almost as good as fried okra. Being an Okie, I too, attempt to grow vegetables in containers on my balcony in San Diego with the same results as you. Now in OK, I grew my own broccoli (so green!) and had tons of zucchini and yellow squash. Do you have squash bugs? oh how I hate those things!

Is that really a giant zuke or a PhotoShop trick?

You could leave zucchini on the bus. How about canning or freezing those squash? Yes, that's it zucchini jelly.

Holy crap that is huge! Enter it in a fair.

I laughed so hard when I saw the pictures. It looks like a green baseball bat. Way to go! :-)

These are my son's all time favorite cookies...you can make about eleventy eight batches with that one zucchini! LOL

Zucchini Cookies

1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup quick cooking oats
1 cup grated zucchini
1 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup butterscotch chips (peanut butter chips or the new cinnamon chips are good in place of the butterscotch chips also)

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl beat butter until soft, add sugar, and beat until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla, beat well. In a medium bowl stir together flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt. With mixer on low speed, gradually add four mixture to butter mixture, beat until well mixed. With a wooden spoon, stir in oats, zucchini, walnuts or pecans, chocolate and butterscotch pieces. Drop by rounded teaspoons about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.

holy sh*t.

(also, i love zucchini. just sayin.)

Yes - I, too, seem to spend a fortune each year on gardening supplies, only to come up with bupkus. I have decided that although I love to commune with nature and such, that I will do so at the Farmer's Market and call it good.

However, I would like to see if I could give the square watermelons a go...

Need a good zucchini bread recipe?

I like grilled zucchini.

The cookies and breads sound great, too!

For when you have tons of zucchini, I recommend a book called "Too Many Tomatoes", which has recipes and instructions for what to do with all the bounty your garden produces when it all matures at the same time. Which is what always happens, and your neighbors take fright at the sight of you with a shopping bag full of zucchini headed their way. I used to make tons of zucchini goulash from that book. 'course, we added meat, but still -- lots of frozen zucchini goulash all the time at our house. But that was then. Now the deer would just eat it all.

When I was growing up, one had to lock one's picnic baskets at the park, or you'd get home and unpack and someone would have put zukes in your picnic basket!!!

Growing up in northern Maine, we always said the only time you needed to lock your doors was during zucchini season, otherwise you'd return to find all your neighbors' unwanted zucchini had been "given" to you.

If the crop gets too far ahead of you, and you like to make zucchini bread (or cake, or hash browns), grate up ginormous batches of it, and freeze it in recipe-sized quantities. That way, you can keep making the stuff all winter long, but space it out far enough that you don't get sick of it.

Whatever DID happen to the mountain-o-poo next door? Is that the secret of your zucchini as LaDonna suggested?

I think Soba may take up an interest in gardening, for the Shock and Awe phase of her manifesto.

Damn! That is a huge zucchini!

I hear tell that zucchini is an awesome thing to grow because it survives about anything. On the other hand it is really prolific. So...I hope everyone likes zucchini, and zucchini bread, and zucchini dip, and zucchini salad and...you see.

Good on your for the pepper farm though! I am in Texas and I kind of want to have a salsa farm on my little back porch, but I am too lazy.

My comment sounded so backhanded. It's not! I think you are great! Also, I LOVE zucchini! But I am a-scairt to grow it because of the prolific is all! I think it is fab you grew it. I have a great veggie lasagne recipe.

Zucchini Parmesean! Yummy.

I'm just a bit south of you along the OC coast. Here's a garden hint: try planting a tomato where you planted the zucchini. Clearly, this is a good spot. Your garden is trying to tell you something.

If you can grab one of the zukes when it's just a little bit smaller (ahem), slice it thin and saute with olive oil and a little garlic. Add cream, lemon juice and a little lemon zest. Toss it with angel hair pasta, cooked, of course, and throw some smoked salmon on top, and sprinkle some capers around if you like 'em. The only way I've ever seen zucchini served that was actually elegant.

Or, just get yourself a potato gun and have fun!

My, what a BIG zucchini you have! Hmm, you could take what you have now and make soup. Poor Victor—he sacrificed his life for the sake of the peppers.

The ONE time I tried to do a garden (back when new home ownership was a novelty), I planted cauliflower, broccoli, eggplant, peppers, onions, carrots, corn and of all things, potatoes. I also put in 15 tomato plants because I recalled from childhood that my thumb was brown and fully expected I'd at least get one or two tomatoes for my efforts. Notice I expected my year's worth of salad crop to fail miserably.

For awhile it looked like I was right. It was dry, I watered, everything was wilted and pathetic looking. I expected to find a dead garden when I arrived home from a 10-day vacation. But no. It rained the entire time I was gone. ALL FIFTEEN PLANTS produced. My own hoohah was tomatofull. I could not give them away.

The irony? I don't even eat salads.

Oh, darlin' - DON'T go all crazy with the zucchinis - trust me! Ask me how I know that. Ask me how many freaking jars of zucchini relish I had on my shelves, for years...ask me how many pounds of shredded zucchini I had in my freezer for a winter, and how much I finally threw out the next summer...

Also, word to the wise: you really don't need 4 cherry tomato plants. Ever.

But that is indeed a mighty zucchini, of which you should feel most proud!

My husband used to peddle garden produce at home in PA. At the beginning of summer, it was "Blueberries for X dollars, and zucchini for Y," then as the summer progressed, it was "Blueberries for sale AND a free zucchini," then finally, "You cannot buy any blueberries UNLESS you take many zucchini."

So maybe you can scare the kids away.

Oh, Laurie - you are the best! I am delurking to thank you for trying to explain to the rest of the world the quirkiness of being a Southern gal... that driving to islands is the norm and if you have a yard, you feel obligated to plant. This is my first year with a garden, and I am WAY late on my zucchinis - but I have high hopes for my tomatoes!!!

You HAVE to make chocolate zucchini bread. or muffins. Muffins are more portable. yummy!

*WAVES WILDLY*

Hi all I must admit I have actually seen a plant growing out of a HooHah. Gosh how I treasure my days working with an internist. I also have a child who desired to go to school on Clown Day her kindergarten year as HooHah The Clown. Her Aunt Lori and I were rolling.

*waves again from the Central Valley.* My sister, Kristy, of the "Knit a Square for Grandmother Pearl" effort got me hooked. Nothing like Girls Raise In The South finding kindred spirits among other GRITS also trapped in California.

Cindi

it looks like your cucumber cross pollinated with something else... my hubby keeps a gardening blog...
www.gardnerjoe.blogspot.com
Let me know if you need zuchini recipe's... I have come up with about 10

Idaho Heidi

Cut that mother in half and bake it with butter!

First, congrats on the zukes. Second, thank god you hate the kid noise in the evening too...I thought I had bought into my own personal skateboard frenzy hell...and they're kids so you are supposed to love the joy they bring to the neighborhood, right?

OH, I love me some zuchini bread!!! Some kind of good!

Another evil takeover plant is spearmint. My mom had a tub of it and it kept growing little trailers out the drainage holes and attempting to take over the lawn. Peppermint is aggressive too, but not quite AS aggressive. I'm dead serious, this stuff kept finding new ways to escape its pot!

As for veggies in the hoohah I once heard from my mum a horror story about a woman who put a potato in... there... as some sort of archaic birth control method and she was shocked when leaves sprouted out of her hoohah. (Potato lady wasn't from the US and my mom lived in Trinidad and Indonesia and Columbia and she probably met that woman in one of those less medically advanced places places I'm guessing.)

Mammoth zucchini also make good paint stamps. Ours weighed about 9lb and was 4 feet long and we gave it to a local art school that used it kinda like potato stamps. LOL

When our first kid was born about almost (!) 11 years ago, things were pretty tight. A friend gave us a monster zucchini, and, I kid you not, it fed us for a week.

I told him about it later and he didn't believe me, but there was zuchini bread and stir fry and omelets and zuchini pastry crust and lots of other good stuff. The Enchanted Brocoli Forest and the Moosewood Cookbook were my good friends.

The irony is that what grew well in your garden this year, might not do so well the next. Best of luck.

I can't believe the hoohah education I'm getting from CAP's blog.

Truly, TMI!

ROFL!

By the end of the summer, I predict that you will be leaving zucchini on your neighbors' porches in the wee hours because you will have more zucchini than cat poop.

Looks like you'd better mark your calendar this year for August 8, otherwise known as Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Front Porch Night.

I managed to grow about 3 strawberries and a handful of green beans... then the worst drought in 50 years hit OZ, and I can't water anything anymore. Unless I want the neighbors to dob me in to the water patrol :P

OMG, You're scaring me with that thing! It looks like a baseball bat.
(Coincidentally, I said that to my last boyfriend.)

And get those peppers out into the sun if you ever want to see your grandpeppers.

your tomatoes would love some fish emulsion. It smells horrible but the tomatoes will grow and produce and love you for it.

Oh Purl, zuchinni and other vegetables that grow on vines hate pots. Even big pots. Tomatoes take tons of water and compost. Regular-sized tomatoes hate, hate, hate pots. Cherry tomatoes will tolerate life in pots. Strawberries hate pots, no matter how many pretty strawberry pots are out there.

I, too, have tried to garden, on a balcony, every year. If you must garden, use the ground for veggies and get timer irrigation. Congrats on the mega zukes.

I am laughing SO hard thinking of (as others before me have suggested) about that mountain of dog poop that bordered your "back forty!" You know, ground water and all that!

How'd that zuke taste?

I have about eleventy hundred cucumbers hatching as we speak - and I'm tired of 'em already! And I do wish those cherry tomatoes didn't look quite so sickly tho... can they be too well watered?

Maybe Mrs. Lee could give you a cooking lesson on a yummy Korean zucchini delicacy...

Ummm, Laurie? Did you ever see the movie or the play "Little Shop of Horrors?" What have you been feeding that zucchini plant? If the kids in your neighborhood start disappearing, which sounds like it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, you should definitely question the plant.
;)

I have a KILLER recipe for Zucchini & Parmesan Soup, that I'm making again tomorrow night (lovely cold rainy winter weather here, perfect for soups!)... I will share with anyone who wants to write to me off-blog. I would also LOVE a zucchini bread recipe. The one with the cinnamon please! Anyone? Bueller?

I once overlooked a zucchini until it was so big, people were amazed at my "OVERsized watermelon"! If you get sick of eating zucchini, grate some of it and freeze it for later frittata or bread. Cubed and blanched, you can freeze it for later stew or ratatouille. Just make sure you use decent freezer bags.

Gretchen- Yes, you can overwater tomatoes- if the skins are splitting- it's a clear sign of too much water! (you usually only see that on the large sized tomatoes though)

stuffed zucchini?

Hollow out one freakishly large zucchini (just use a spoon and get rid of the seedy crap)

mix one lb lean ground beef or lamb with:
about 2 cups cold left over cooked rice.
2 eggs
1 chopped fresh tomatoe
1/2 chopped fresh green pepper
1/2 chopped fresh green onion (not crumbly brown one- thats nasty)
salt and pepper to taste

Mix together like meatloaf- (ewe touching raw meat is nasty- wear gloves or use a spatula) stuff it all into the hollowed out zucchini.

pour a couple of tblsp olive oil into a baking dish.
Put freakish stuffed zucchini into pan- cover with tin foil- loosely and bake at 375 for about an hour- or until meat is cooked and zucchini is softened but not turned to mush.

AT the end of the cooking time- heat your favorite spaghetti sauce, and cook more rice.

Serve zucchini topped with sauce, with a side of rice.

Voila. Freakish zucchini put to good italian use.

This has been a public service announcement from your friendly Italian knitter/zucchini eater.

;)

Hardy, har, har...you said "yarn" instead of "yard". Was that a Freudian Slip on this here knitting blog??

Or: Zucchini breads of all sorts.. YUMTASTIC!
A favorite summer breakfast...

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Chocolate-Chip-Orange-Zucchini-Bread/Detail.aspx

http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/001330zucchini_bread.php

in the service of the great zucchini- ts

Holy Crap! That is one homongous zucchini! I think I should stop reading your blog at work; my coworkers look at me strangely every time I burst out laughing while I'm supposed to be working on seriously dull stuff.

Ah yes, zucchini. Around here, you don't dare leave your windows open in the car when you are away from it because some unsuspecting gardener may come and put a bag of zucchini on your front seat!!!

I was going to share my zucchini boat recipe but Jeannie beat me to it . . . although I am freakishly lazy and don't want to mess around with all that weird stuff so I generally:

brown the meat (italian sausage is really good if you want something spicier) and drain.

Chop onion, zukes, peppers, etc. Saute and drain (zukes are mostly water and make the whole thing drippy). Mix veggies with sausage, rice, parmesan cheese and jarred spaghetti sauce (not a lot just enough to change the color a bit) and some break crumbs. dump into casserole, sprinkle with mozzarella cheese. Bake @ 375 for about 45 minutes.

If you want psuedo stuffed cabbage or stuffed peppers, you can basically do the same thing without all that stuffing nonsense going on.

The way I figure it, there are no failures in gardening; just successes and learning experiences.

I learn a lot every year with my garden.

I planted okra in seeds a few weeks back because I was mad that my grocery store didn't have any okra, so I couldn't make fried okra.

So, I was like "Screw them, I'll grow my own". So I planted them. In a pot . On my balcony. They have sprouted, so I might get an okra by November!

however, my jalepenos, apparently LOVE being in pots in the balcony. I have a ton of those.

My favorite recipe is zucchini and cheese...though as other people have mentioned...not with that MONSTER zucch, it'll be too bitter.

Saute sliced up zucchini in butter (about 4 little ones), dump a big ol can of stewed tomatoes, top the whole thing with cheese and heat til the cheese melts.

Easy enough even for a lazy-bum-who-hates-to-cook like me!

Ack so much to say:
1) loofas - they are gourds but if you have any squash or gourds planted near them they cross pollinate and aren't useful for eating or scrubbing.

2) nasturtiums - will only bloom if they're planted in bad dirt; good dirt = lots of foliage but no blooms. The blooms are edible and are good in salads; sort of peppery.

3) zuccini - shredded, with shredded chedder (lots of it) and just enough bisquick to hold it all together, pan fried like potatoe cakes = win!

4) earthboxes - they're bots that have a water resevoir and instead of watering from the top you just fill the resovoir and the soil wicks it up to the plant. Great if you skip a day now and again, and tomatoes love them because the roots stay wet.

that may be just one okra, but a perfect okra it is.

i can grow dandelions. i hear you can eat them

I am SO glad you don't have any actual produce in your hoohah!

Until I got a good pop-up blocker, I received all sorts of unwelcome pop-ups every time I logged on the innnernets. And you would not believe how many people have produce coming out of their hoohahs, and how many different kinds.

Oh, and the Southern gardening urge? I get it for about two hours every April, then I remember I will have to be out fooling with it in August down here.

Being from the south and all, have you ever heard of a spud gun? Shooting rotten or otherwise bad zukes would not be wrong, it's a different form of recycling really. We have a spud gun up north and we shoot everything from potatoes, to golf balls, to hard boiled eggs. Other than the golf balls it's just our unique way to feed the wildlife that happens to be a mile away. Grown men buying hairspray (as the ignitor) is always a fun thing too. Good luck with your zukes! Tomatoes beware!

Sooo...hi guys, this is my first comment after several months of blog-stalking.

To address the hard-boiled-egg-in-tomato-plants question - it's actually just the shells that are helpful to tomato plants. Tomatoes need a continuous supply of calcium to prevent blossom end rot, hence egg shells in the soil. You can also mix powdered milk into your watering can.

Oh wow, that is some courgette you got there! I love 'em, and reading the comments has been really interesting, but leaves me feeling piqued that over here, we have to pay good money to buy week-old courgettes that have nearly circumnavigated the globe. I wish I had a porch for someone to leave produce on. And LOL about the stuffing of unexpected veggies into parked cars and picnic baskets. We had a glut of peas one year when I was a little kid, and it got so people would dash back indoors when they saw me coming with my toddle truck full of buckets of peas. Dad had this notion that peas were good for the soil so planted the entire garden with them. None of us willingly eats peas now, forty years on.

So glad I read this posting...I totally did not know (or if I did, I forgot) that zucchini grow so successfully (i.e., easy care)! I will remember this Next Year...in the meantime, I will begin collecting zucchini recipes. I'm wondering, can you just slice them up and eat them raw in a salad...like cucumbers without the gallons of watering they require? (I grew up in New England in a family that never heard of let alone ate zucchini).

Lordy - have you seen The Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Don't go to sleep near that giant squash!!

this post totally makes me want to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Monty Python's Life of Brian. That pic of Zucchini versus Sobakawa is hilarious. Still laughing.

Always look on the bright si-de of life... doodoo dodoot doo doo doo....

That zuchini is absolutely insane!!!

I couldn't stop laughing when I saw your zucchini pics. It's bigger than the cat! So much giggling.

This is comment #152 and I haven't read #'s 1-151 yet, so I may be restating what 75 other people have said, but, it may be time to move the peppers out from under the cover of the patio roof and into the sun. Perhaps that's why they haven't bloomed yet? Or are they just there for the artful photography?

Can't wait to see your pepper haul in a month or two.

I was at the nursery the other day and they had gorgeous ornamental pepper plants with solid-black leaves that would be striking in a flower garden garden, but apparently you're not supposed to eat the peppers on them. Too bad....

I'm amazed that I didn't see anyone mention grilling sliced Zuccini. We grill it right along with our steak. You can brush it will a little soy or Teriyaki sauce too. I love it grilled along with some onion slices. Both are great side dishes to the grilled steak.

153 comments, I can't believe no one has shared this poem with you yet. It's one of my all-time favorites.

Attack of the Squash People
By Marge Piercy

And thus the people every year
in the valley of humid July
did sacrifice themselves
to the long green phallic god
and eat and eat and eat.
They're coming, they're on us,
the long striped gourds, the silky
babies, the hairy adolescents,
the lumpy vast adults
like the trunks of green elephants.
Recite fifty zucchini recipes!

Zucchini tempura; creamed soup;
sauté with olive oil and cumin,
tomatoes, onion; frittata;
casserole of lamb; baked
topped with cheese; marinated;
stuffed; stewed; driven
through the heart like a stake.

Get rid of old friends: they too
have gardens and full trunks.
Look for newcomers: befriend
them in the post office, unload
on them and run. Stop tourists
in the street. Take truckloads
to Boston. Give to your Red Cross.
Beg on the highway: please
take my zucchini, I have a crippled
mother at home with heartburn.

Sneak out before dawn to drop
them in other people's gardens,
in baby buggies at churchdoors.
Shot, smuggling zucchini into
mailboxes, a federal offense.

With a suave reptilian glitter
you bask among your raspy
fronds sudden and huge as
alligators. You give and give
too much, like summer days
limp with heat, thunderstorms
bursting their bags on our heads,
as we salt and freeze and pickle
for the too little to come.

Laurie, you're going to have be careful with that zucchini thing next year. Those baseball-bat-sized ones are fun the first time, but then they can take over your life. Seriously. There's only so much zucchini bread, zucchini cake (by the way I have an amazing recipe for that), and zucchini anything else you can eat. I'm just saying, unless you want your THIGHS to look like those zucchinis, be very careful what you wish for!!

Love your blog!

Is it telling that when I read about the passing of Victor, I saw "bacon of hope" rather than beacon?

You crack me the heck up, but apparently I really need a sandwich.

Amy, that is a KILLER poem! LOL

I wonder how I missed seeing that in my life?

Watch out Martha Stewart!
Maybe you ought to put the book tour on hold and be a guest on her show.
Show that woman how to really grow a squash!
Zucchini bread anyone?
:)

Zucchini of mass destruction?

Please, Laurie, for the love of all things that grow, invest in a drip irrigation watering system, and a timer to activate it? For less than $100, you can forget about watering your veggies forever! Of course, you still have to fertilize and weed, but that's what makes gardening fun, right?

Hello, anyone?

*crickets*

Your patio full of plants gives me hope. I may be the only living person unable to grow the big Z. I could plant zucchini all the live long day and not get a single piece of zucchini bread out of the bargain. Live long and prosper, missy!

You can always judge a Southern Grrrl by the size of her squash.

Ok, this is crazy but I have a veggie stew crock-pot recipe that uses zucchini and it is good. Of course, it's not really "veggie" because I put a pound of ground turkey in it but whatever. Here it is: put your ground turkey (hopefully thawed) in the bottom of the crock pot, add 2 or 3 regular sized zucchini (thinly sliced or sliced in quarters), some baby carrots, 2 or 3 stalks of celery diced, 1 red or green bell pepper, an onion diced, or whatever other veggies you like. Sometimes I will peel and cut up a potato or two also to put in. Then add a small can of diced green chilis (4 oz) and a big can (28 oz) of whole tomatoes (do not drain). You can add a can of garbanzo beans if you like them (I don't) or substitute the beans for the ground turkey. Then I add in some spices: 2 tablespoons chili powder (more or less depending on how hot you like things), 2 tsps ground cumin, 1 tsp salt, 2 cloves garlic minced, 1 tablespoon dried oregano. I usually cook on low for 6-8 hours. No matter how long it is in there it has never been ruined. I will sometimes serve this with rice or just plain; it is good either way. I like it because you can substitute what you have on hand as far as the veggies go. I sometimes throw some corn in there too. It's all good.

"scary funhouse of funky big zucchini." So, now in my head I am singing "funky big zucchini" to the tune of "Funky Col' Medina."

Thanks a lot. ;-)

P.S. But at least I'm not bored at work any more.

Congrats on the zucchini! It is amazing how quickly they grow! I have a terrific recipe for stuffed zucchini that I found last year if you are interested...very yummy!

I think that may be the actual meaning of the Italian word. There is a tradition... I think it's a regional Boston thing... of sneaking them onto people's doorsteps in the middle of the night on one particular night in September or October, because they are the most excessively productive plants known to man. You'll be handing them out instead of hugs. ;)