I love the power of Zappos. And if you don't like the shoes, they will take them back at no charge! I kneel to Zappos.

Also, I thought I was the only person to say the word "kidlets." Hmm. I even call my two fur babies "kitlets." See, I have the humorology degree, too. Heh. It's early...

And don't you love that they overnight the stuff? LOVE Zappo's. Love. Love. Love.

First?

Geez, you go in to work at 5:30am and don't get home until its that dark??? As one southern lady to another, honey you soooooooooo deserve those three pairs of shoes, puttin' up with the jokesters and all!

Didn't you just explain that you have an event and thus you need to be prepared? The unmarried men never know when not to ask a question. Silly men.
Make sure to pack your slippers for NYC!

Rare is the man who understands the power and allure of new shoes.

Some things in life should just not be all that difficult. Shoes are the one thing that can cure all problems and celebrate all victories. Sometimes hard to transport in mass quantities, but goodness all the same!

I love shoes!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

& the cats now have a new box... (I have an ugly box in my living room, because my boy cat loves to hide in there...)

& the cats now have a new box... (I have an ugly box in my living room, because my boy cat loves to hide in there...)

I once heard a report that the "average" woman owns 30 pairs of shoes. Clearly, this blog is populated by better than average woman... so, what is the count?

I will start; 62 pairs of shoes

Hurray for shoes and HURRAY for ZAPPOS!!

dude- I gotta see the SHOES......!!!!!!

oh what a box o happiness.....can't wait to see them!

Only 3? You should order at least 4 more pair immediately.. One new pair for each day of the week.

Ummmm... why didn't you just open it up n dump the box at work? Carried them in a bag? or were you going for shoe shopping effect? ;)

*ducks and runs to hide in a shoe box.....

I'm still waiting for the shoe fashion show...

ok, you have to show us the shoes now.

You're going to need them for the BOOK TOUR! For heaven's sake, do I have to point out the obvious! And since you may be book touring in the frozen North, better buy more boots! (Can you tell I'm Southern too?)

Journalism at its finest!

Apostrophes substitute for a missing letter or letters. The correct spelling of y'all is, well, y'all, not ya'll.

I love the bus, but I will have to take home a giant box, and how will I fit everything on the bus?!

I love your post but agree with the others that now we must see pictures of the shoes!

I'm so jealous. Zappos is not quite so super for the Canucks. Shipping in $25, it takes 5-10 days to arrive, and returning costs another $15. Sigh.

Rejoice in your shoe harvest!

I love zapppos. I'ts a nice substitute for being able to shop for shoes in person - for those of us who ca'nt seem to find time to shop until the stores close. Maybe the world would be a better place if the shoe stores stayed open 24/7!

(And yes, I am a passive-aggressive punctuator, thanks for noticing.)

laurie, you can't talk about the shoes and only post a photo of the BOX! pics please. i heart zappos too.

But where are pics of the SHOES?? I love Zappos. The last order I placed (last month) I got 5 pairs. $400 worth of shoes. Thankfully for my wallet, I only kept two. But it's the coolest service ever for the wannabe well-shod woman.

Carrie said it best "A woman's right to shoes"

I love Zappos. I would marry it and all it's shoes if I could get away with it, having a hubby and kids and all that already.

Now I am off to Zappos to order my shoes to go with the dress I have to wear at a wedding.

I love Zappos because my 18 year old son wears ginormous 14EEEE shoes and they are one of the rare places that carries shoes that big. Without Zappos the kid would be wearing laundry baskets on his feet. Fo real.

Good grief, that IS a very large box. :-) But. hi! Zappos!

DON'T show us the shoes because if you do I will have to get all 'Single White (Brown) Female' on you and get all the same styles.

Today I pulled out a pair of shoes that I've had for a few year but have worn like maybe 5 times, poor neglected shoes, yes I own too many.

I like driving folks crazy by never spellchecking, too. And making up words.

I myself have never been crazy about stuff like that and it is endlessly amusing to me when people go completely insane over a comma. I think the funniest thing ever is the compulsion folks have to correct people! I think it is because of how I was reared but I would never in a million years point out something askew with another person, unless she were embarrassing herself in the following manner: pantyhose with skirt tucked in, TP on shoe, horrible wardrobe malfunction. And even then I would try to be discreet.

So I am always surprised that folks get very excited to always point out the wrong word, the flaw, step in and correct another person. It is completely fascinating to me. Ya'll.

Also, there will be no shoe pictures, alas, as I am frantically packing and so on and have to clean and go see my doctor later and have a to-do list of five thousand items at least two of which contain a comma splice!

But...but...where are the shoes!?! Why do you tease us so!

I love it that you buy shoes for YOU in the guise of doing research for US!

YOU ROCK!

[Kidlets. Yeah, I say that all the time, too. It's in MY dictionary.]

I would so like to see a picture of the cats with their box . . . please.

Move to the UK where no one bats an eyelash when you board the bus with a full size ironing board or a step ladder or a small refrigerator. For reals.

But pictures, we want to see PICTURES of the shoes! =)

I was about to post a comment telling Jill (who conveniently didn't an email or url) to chill, but I see now Laurie is right on it and handling it quite well. Just can't believe someone can choose to come this blog, skip over the hilarity and wittiness and fixate on one word.

Blessings upon you, Dearling! I'm one of those rare females who doesn't like shoes much. Oh, I have some - can't walk barefoot in snow, but when the snow goes so do the shoes, except the requisite birkies for the "no shirt no shoes no service" places. Why, you might ask? 1) I'm 64; 2) I'm an Unrepentant Hippie; 3) I'd rather buy books or yarn than anything; 4) I can enjoy YOUR shoes. On you. But - in the name of full disclosure - I DO have a pair of 1938 black heeled oxfords (ebay) that I'm wildly loving on and wear always (except with pajamas). Oh, and as the Daughter of a Journalist I say - honey, you use punctuation "how"....and "where"....you want!?!?!?

Hey Laurie - I love all your writings and your making up of words - my favorite as of late was when you said "I can "guarandamteeyou" - YOU TOTALLY CRACK ME UP - your made up words are part of your style - and it is wonderful!!! You Rock.

P.S. - Does your e-mail address really work?

P.S.S. - How do you possibly keep up with this blog ... and writing a book ... and knitting hats ... and working full time ... and four cats ... and dating ... and gardening ??? The reason I ask is - I have to read what you writing and I like to see the comments - but sometimes I end up missing out cause there is soooo much to read (and I generally only read you blog - comments and all!) Just wondering.

Dale-Harriet I have been meaning to ask you, how are you feeling? Are the shingles gone yet?

Also, you know it doesn't bother me a bit when folks do that pointing out my error thing, I just find it all so interesting how our minds fixate on a thing. And yesterday I was VERY happy to be reminded Nova Scotia is not an island! I forgot we had driven onto it! I love being corrected in mismatched facts, as sometimes I do not remember correctly, perhaps due to the tomfoolery of vacation.

I myself am totally obsessed with font abuse ... like when you see a big mini-mall sign and every store name is in a random, different crazy font. But the way my mind works is that I notice it and often take a picture of it but wouldn't want it to change! I like to see and enjoy that sort of thing. Maybe it is because I am completely insane, who knows! (see: tomfoolery, above)

Oh god must clean house now not type on internet. bye!

Will we get to see the shoes in your pictures of the Event in New York City? Sure hope so.

I love me some Zappo's. Best service ever.

what? no pictures of the shoes? you big tease, laurie!

I think I would have just cried. I never did learn to laugh at being teased.

Ok, I will just make this one little last comment then I have got to vacuum! or is it vaccuum?

Sue -- my email is troubling at best, I am very overwhelmed with email and have issues in that area. I manage to hold everything together pretty well except correspondence, I am about two years behind. I figure I will get that part of my life together one day and we will just make jokes about how bad I am in the meantime.

But I do read every comment and love them all. Except the spam, hate you spam.

Time management is certainly a challenge for me, I would admit freely that there have been times when I have just given up on housework and laundry and socializing because other stuff took priority. The hardest time was writing on the book and here full time plus my job and then when grandma got sick. I totally abandoned knitting because I slept on the bus instead of knitting but I couldn't tell anyone here and I got a couple of snarky, "God don't you even knit anymore?" comments and I think I cried, pathetically as it were. I was maybe on edge a little. Then I had a glass of wine. hee.

But lately things are much better and I am very excited for after June 4 when my life returns to its boring normalness and I can resume being mildly agoraphobic and doing things such as re-arranging the tupperware and stalking the cute checkout boy at Trader Joe's. And writing. I guess because I don't have any editing at all in my head (see: comma splices) the writing part is never hard, it's just blah blah blah in my head all the time. It is the balancing of social obligations and work and commuting that is a challenge. Mostly I feel shitty for not visiting grandma as often as I should, or when I cancel like I did on Allison this past weekend, or when I am late to work, I hate failing in that way but it happens.

Also sometimes I suck at gardening, because if I get home and it's dark I won't bother watering since the plants are asleep. Or that is how I see it ;)

Oh come now, at LEAST admit that you tried on all those shoes *sequentially*, and not all at once. I can believe a whole lot of a cat lady, but really...

listen, darlin', you can't taunt us with all that build-up and then not post photos of the shoes. it ain't polite.

This is not good. My wife just sent me the link to today's Purl and I have a feeling we are going back to Nordstrom tonight for the shoes I vetoed last weekend.

All that and we don't even get to SEE the shoes?!!?

you can't write a whole entry about buying shoes and not let us actually SEE THE SHOES! That's criminal! What if I really like them and want a pair? You could be depriving me of a pair of shoes I really like!

Ahnnn...you bought shoes just for us! We love you. :)

Honestly? I'm not a shoe person. (I'm a book person, and a yarn person, and maybe a whatever-Trader-Joe's-has-in-stock-today person.) I have three pairs of shoes that I like very much, everything in my closet goes with them, and that is all right with me. But because I have been forced to say "Hi! I just spent $60 I don't have on books!" I totally understand your shoe thing. Power to the big spenders!

What I meant was, "Everything in my closet goes with one of them." Obviously everything in my closet doesn't go with all three pairs of shoes...or I wouldn't need as many as three pairs of shoes. I'd only need one. Because I find shoes a bit pesky. Maybe it's the Southerner in me, but I prefer to be barefoot as much as humanly possible. :)

Have you tried www.endless.com? Sometimes they're cheaper than Zappos and right now they're offering Free + $5 discount overnight shipping. I was really pleased. And they had my GInormous bigfoot East German swimmer shoe size (11! Horror!) in the shoe I wanted, whereas Zappos did not.

Your story reminded me of the time I had to ride the rush hour "sardine can"/train home with 2 huge pillows, 10 towels, and a king-size down featherbed (that did not have its happy vaccuum bag). I worked in advertising for a major retailer and they had a home sample sale. (Featherbed for $10?! Sign me up!) Unfortunately I did not give the appropriate amount of foresight to that wee purchase. Heh.

You can never have too many shoes. I have a closet full and I need more! I am not as bad as my sister who has a pair in every color ever made. She inherited them from one of my other sisters when after her pregnancy, learned they no longer fit. I am so envious of her shoe closet.
I especially love the red ones!

in the name of "journalism" and also "poor fiscal management this whole month long"

What IS it about this month? I've mostly managed to avoid shoes, but I've been buying all other manner of crap that I don't really need.

As a designer, don't you receive edits to copy all the time? Not that I fixate on words or things but I'm an art director and receive edits and make edits to copy all the time.
There's a time and place for everything. A blog is your own space to spell any way you choose.

There is no way not to love you Laurie! :-)

My entire work life is receiving edits from others. I definitely am rebelling here.

The book editing process was PAINFUL. Gah. But work edits are insane, because it's sometimes changing "happy" to "glad" and back again if you know what I mean.

What a tease. Y'all know we're living vicariously here, don't we get to see the shoes?

And what does it say about me that I'm reduced to being disappointed at not seeing a picture of someone else's new shoes? Lordy.

I am so excited for you, Laurie. Shoes are the best thing since ... sliced bread? No, wait! Shoes are low-carb. Since ... the wheel? No, shoes have heels, not wheels, silly.

Hm. Shoes. Best. Thing. Evah.

Are you kidding me!! All the build up and we don't get to see the shoes? Can we see please??

Okay, I'll wait until you're done with NYC for the shoe photos, because I totally get that you are preparing for the big to-do there--and it's a really big to-do! But you must put us out of our shoe-snooping misery once you get back. Please!

I say "kidlets" too--I have four kids, two are adults and two are "kidlets". And I'm not the big shoe buyer I used to be--that addiction got transferred to yarn and yarn-related stuff, and it was always a secondary addiction to books.

However, I do appreciate the shoe love, as a sort of nostalgic thing!

That last photo really makes it clear how very big indeed is your shoebox. I bet the cats have a blast with it!

Hey Laurie - thanks for that. You are that bright spot in my day ... you know ... when you really could use a smile or a little hug - I run out to see what's on your mind ... and how I can expand my vocab - with your new words :-) "Guarandamteeyou" hee!! Learning new abreviations in blog-language ... So for all the times - you have made me smile - I want to send a smile and hug right back at you!

You handled your gammar patrol so gracefully Laurie. Just to annoy jill I'm going to not put commas where I know they belong when leaving this comment! ha!

My closet is woefully understocked. I sometimes buy shoes before I actually have an outfit to wear them with but then lately due to weight gain clothes shopping has gotten too depressing. But I do quite desperately and genuinely need some new shoes.

I wanna see pics too! You know you have time to post 'em.

I've been coveting a pair of shoes that I saw on Zappos....can't afford them yet, but still I covet.

Show us the shoes! :)

Items I have carried on the Boston and New York subway systems:

small outdoor grill with face (tongue was handle)
6' lamp
nightstand (approx. 1,000 pounds)
2 wooden folding chairs (at once)

Hey, when you live in the city, you don't have a lot of options and if other people can bring their bikes on, I can have my lamp.

I just visited zappos to see what the fuss was all about, and boy!!!! I could never ever NEVER make up my mind with all that shoe choice!!

and now I feel like I have to take a nap.

Wait a minute. You talked for a whole long post about shoes. And you did.not.show. us. any!!!!! Tease.

I don't understand. You can't afford to buy shoes? But aren't you all rich from your blog and your book plus your day job? And if not, why don't you just add one of those buttons that's popular with bloggers these days, the button that says something like "Pay Me!" and then it links to a Pay Pal site or something where people can contribute to your blog just because they love it so much.

I somehow managed to miss inheriting most of the dominant girl genes (the one for joyful shopping, for instance), but I do have the shoe thing. This after a couple of foot surgeries that have rendered me limited to well-constructed athletic shoes and Dansko clogs. I've gotten even with the foot gods--I have Danskos in almost every color I'd be caught dead in. I'd have more, but you know how expensive orthopedically friendly shoes are? So, yeah, I understand your shoe thing.

WE WANT TO SEE THE SHOES!

Got it now?

Oh Joyce. I wish it worked that way!

I used to think to myself even when I was like 19, "All you have to do is get a book deal, and then you'll be okay financially." OH MY GOD WAS I WRONG. But all that time I spent thinking you made money off a first book! So funny now looking back.

Did you know the book company doesn't even pay the flight to BEA? Yup! My uncle bought the tickets on his flier miles. Thank you uncle skipper! This book has cost me money at this point.

The biggest myth in the entire universe is that people make money writing. Some people do. The vast majority do not. But did you know most authors still have to hold down day jobs even up and until the day they are on the Oprah book club? I heard that from a very reputable book agent, too. Made me want to hide in bed.

But I still have to tell you I am holding on to the dream anyway. One day!! That's what I keep saying to myself!!

Hey Laurie,

Did you darken your hair? It looks like it from the picture. It looks good on ya. Have fun in New York with your "new shoes"! : )

Every now and then I am reminded of the bliss of being single and able to afford as many pairs of shoes as I want and can fit in my closet....my first husband, we were 23-ish or so, had the nerve to suggest idly that I should only need 11 pairs of shoes. Slippers and sneakers included! I had maybe 50 pairs. Where his number came from has remained a mystery, but suffice it to say a knock down drag out fight ensued that ended with me storming out of the house and driving all over town at 3 am and when I returned he had put all my shoes in bags near the dumpster! More screaming and crying until he brought them back in. It was ugly. Never try to explain the power of shoes to a man, particularly a husband-type man!

ODE TO SHOES

I LOVE Zappos!
They rock!
They roll!
They ship free of charge!
They consume mass quantities of computer time! They wreak havoc on my monthly budget!
They ship in GINORMOUS boxes that are hard to hide from your husband!
They make me happy!

I LOVE Zappos

I want to see the shoes you bought!!!

I.love.your.column. And shoes...which makes for extra great reading today :) I agree with above comment - you really live out loud and bring great energy into all your hours. I think of that when I'm lazing my way through the day; it gets me amovin' agin. "What would CAP do?"

p.s. That box looks as if it is just about the max size you could have carried - how simply wonderful :) Big Box of Shoes.

Shoes...I love shoes!
Have a great time in New York, Laurie! Embrace your shyness and social weirdness! We rock!!!

And to change the subject: should I invest in a Dyson Slim? Would my cat fur woes be over?
=)

Um, so lets see the shoes lady!

I love Zappos! You did a good thing to give them a plug on your blog. But I wish you had shown a picture of your new footwear!

I love zappos! I have wiiiiide feet, so t's the one place I can get shoes that don't look like I mugged Nurse Rachet for them.
P.S. My uncle knows Al...if he's ever available, I'll see what I can do to set you up. ;-)

(from novelist Nora Roberts’ dialogue: )

“Do you know how many pairs of shoes I own?”
“No.”
“Neither do I. Isn’t that wonderful?”

You rock. But really, you must show us the shoes.

I prefer Shoebuy.com. They give you discounts. They have sales....so I get a sale email...say 20% off anything, and then a special "member" discount when I check out. Crocs for $22.78, it's awesome! You should check them out too!

OMG! I LOVE ZAPPOS!!!

The best part is, they offer FREE returns! I once ordered 11 pairs of shoes (all from Zappos) for a wedding I was standing up in ... and I ended up finding the perfect pair, and returning all the rest! You really can't beat that.

But thank you, Jess, for recommending www.endless.com. I'll have to check them out! (Onlineshoes.com is good, too, but the returns are not free.)

Have fun in NYC, Laurie! All the best!!!

Laurie,
When I had to travel to SoCal all the time for work, I always took my cute shoes. Because in SoCal land, with cute shoes and a southern accent, you can rock their world. Sometimes they might mistake you for an earthquake, so use your powers for good, not evil...

Laurie, you know I love you, but holy crap! I just visited Zappos for the first time and dang girl, how much did you spend on that box of shoes?? I guess I am a shoe cheapskate....

because of you, i am now going to go buy even more shoes off of zappos.

my boyfriend doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point.

Must. find. Zappos.

I have Zappo'ed three times this week alone. I should have held out for the ginormous box!! I can just picture you, smiling sheepishly as you drag the box onto the bus. Makes my day!
I think most of us are 5 minutes from pulling a Britney-I know I am no more than 10 on any given day.
Oh, and SHOES ROCK!

Zappos is based in KY and actually has a store/warehouse where you can go to try on shoes and shop. I think the warehouse is only discontinued items or shoes that are too low in stock to keep on the website. I haven't been yet because it would be very, very bad - for my wallet.

I once carried an entire set of cast iron pots and pans on the bus from the suburbs to downtown San Jose. The driver was concerned.

Then there was the time we bought the largest size of trash can, forgetting we had driven the Alpha Romeo Spider. Fortunately, we'd bought a plastic one, not metal, so it squished.

Ya'll is a contraction of Ya all -- what most people who say y'all are actually contracting.

Barbara said it all when she said "You're going to need them for the BOOK TOUR!" I am staying away from Zappos. sounds like trouble. I will be strong!! right... have a safe trip!

I haven't checked to see if anyone else asked . . . but can we see the shoeses?

I think growing up with a smartypants family makes it hard not to be a smartypants yourself, always being helpy even with commas, even with how other people run their lives.

I'm really trying to get in touch with any STFU gene I may have inherited but it's hard. Not being obnoxiously helpy is hard. Please forgive us. :-)

Being alone in a big city and moreso, poor, makes one prone to carry bizarre things on public transportation. I've lugged a carpet on a city bus, a full-size futon, and even a brand new 19" TV still in the box.

My freshman year in college I lived in an overflow dorm at another school. Mid year when I moved into a campus dorm I used a cab. I can only imagine what that cabbie thought of me and all my boxes and black trash bags.

:-)

OK - no shoes pictures but when you get home we'll see 'em? And the cats are using the box for a fort, right? I am happily seeing you place the box bottom up and cutting little holes in it for cats to enter and peer out from. Soba is doing sentry duty and only allowing Roy inside. Roy peeks out wishing to escape to the food dish but Soba knocks him back in and sends Frankie to drag the food dish to the fort so Roy doesn't have to leave the shelter and face the perils of Bob shooting darts at the other cats.

Did I just right that? OMG, y'all, I think I better go have a lay down before going to see the Harlot in an hour.

Speaking of whom - it was so great to see her commenting on your blog the other day about BEA, Laurie. You've got to look for her - two put together knitting goddesses in NYC. Please get your picture taken with the sock?? Please??

I want to see the shoes.

Box on bus, ha! My ex and I once rode a BART train to the mall and bought a TV! We had to WALK up to the loading dock at the store where you're supposed to pull your car around, and all the workers just stood there and laughed at us. We were lucky when we got off the train, because we found an empty shopping cart and pushed that damn TV the rest of the way home.

And tell the jokesters that you have 18 feet at home (the kits have four each, yes?).

reminds me of a scrubs episode where
the gals could get the guys to stop
listening to their conversations by
mentioning the words "shoe shopping"
or "sandals"...shoes are such a girl
thing

My boss forwarded this link to me and I! LOVE! YOUR! BLOG!

I had never checked out Zappos before, so just had to today... Is it just me, maybe I'm just cheap (or too much of a fiber snob... spending it all on yarn), but wow they are expensive shoes!

I would also like to add that I just love it when you say "innernet"... Doesn't jill know that her name should be capitalized???

And, if the first book doesn't make you rich... well then, we are all just anxiously awaiting the second book!!

Have fun in NY... they're all human just like me and you.... you and I... I and you...... you and me.... oh, whate're

I have not played with the Zappos, and may do so some day. Hey, you do need to look cute for the book signings and...guys just don't understand the shoe thing among many things.

OH MY GOD... who is watching your FURKIDS WHILE YOU ARE GOING TO BE GALLIVANTING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY?

And, will they survive the experience?

[When I lived in California, I did cat sitting. Moved right into their houses and spoiled them all day, yes I did, because all I would do was listen to music and read, read, read!]

I can't read 98 comments today, and maybe you won't be able to read mine.

But, uh, Laurie?

If you expect us to have a vicarious shopping thrill through you, you have to at least post the URLs to all three. Come on!!

Pay no attention to the spelling freaks, Laurie. A long-time favorite columnist of mine, Donald Kaul, used to tell his editors that it is a pretty lame person who can only think of one way to spell a word.

Well, at least it fit in the front seat! I figured you would have had to fold up the back seat and stuff it in the back! Being that it's Jeep, you can stack vertically quite nicely! Hmmm, have you ever stuffed something back there only to thave to put the roof down to get it out? Um, yeah..that's called the annual Mafcy's white sale..and it was embarassing!

Um, so... where the heck are the pics of these new shoes?!?

Jill, stop huffing White-Out.

"Ya'll" is a TYPO.

Laurie is FROM the South and most certainly knows how to properly conjugate "y'all." For the uninitiated:

SOUTHERNER ADDRESSING ONE PERSON: "How are you?"

ADDRESSING TWO PEOPLE, OR A SMALL GROUP: "How are y'all?"

ADDRESSING A VERY LARGE GROUP (like CAP blog readers): "How are all y'all?"

The misplacement of an apostrophe is a typo, not a mis-spelling. I read Laurie's blog because I love what she writes, not to correct her typing.

And yes, I am from the South too, and we are always about three inches away from drankin' and carryin' on, and tyin' one on good, and pulling a Britney. Except with more clothes on.

Anyway, about shoes. I am one of those women who has more boots than shoes, mostly Official Southern Cowgirl Boots, yee-haw, and please pass the trailer hitch, thank you. I kinda missed out on the shoe-genes when they girled me up, but when I do buy shoes, I buy 3-4 pair at once because I am hard to fit (9 wide) and hate to shoe-shop because I get depressed looking at all the tiny little B-width Barbie shoes, so when I find a place that has shoes to fit me, I get several at once.

And few of the "little" things in life make me happier than a new pair of boots. I love them.

You know we want to see the shoes now.

Jill, stop huffing White-Out.

"Ya'll" is a TYPO.

Laurie is FROM the South and most certainly knows how to properly conjugate "y'all." For the uninitiated:

SOUTHERNER ADDRESSING ONE PERSON: "How are you?"

ADDRESSING TWO PEOPLE, OR A SMALL GROUP: "How are y'all?"

ADDRESSING A VERY LARGE GROUP (like CAP blog readers): "How are all y'all?"

The misplacement of an apostrophe is a typo, not a mis-spelling. I read Laurie's blog because I love what she writes, not to correct her typing.

And yes, I am from the South too, and we are always about three inches away from drankin' and carryin' on, and tyin' one on good, and pulling a Britney. Except with more clothes on.

Anyway, about shoes. I am one of those women who has more boots than shoes, mostly Official Southern Cowgirl Boots, yee-haw, and please pass the trailer hitch, thank you. I kinda missed out on the shoe-genes when they girled me up, but when I do buy shoes, I buy 3-4 pair at once because I am hard to fit (9 wide) and hate to shoe-shop because I get depressed looking at all the tiny little B-width Barbie shoes, so when I find a place that has shoes to fit me, I get several at once.

And few of the "little" things in life make me happier than a new pair of boots. I love them.

oh my god? i go barefoot in gas stations ALL THE TIME?! (good thing i'm married, i guess...)

SHOW US THE SHOES, SEESTA!

Thanks for "taking one for the team." ;-)

Laurie,
Shall I tell you my 'new shoes story of woe?'

Just 2 short years ago, I was living on top of a small mountain in Italy.. actually called Monte Orlando (monte= mountain in Italian) and since, I did not have a car.. (well, I digress- I did have a car- but, it was being held hostage in a car repair shop in Naples, Italy for months by *Greedo's Car Garage.. "*PUN INTENDED" and there is no way a carless person can get to Naples.. from where I was living- taxi? Hey, I'm not willing to give up 2 month's salary to get to/from Naples! Now, you may ask.. why, why was her car so far away in the first place? Well, you see.. it had arrived off the big ship.. NOT DRIVING and it had to be repaired at the location that the ship arrived in. SOMEONE else 'suggested' GREEDO the car repair place to me. (I still can't talk about this part)

Ok, back to the shoe part of the story... there I was getting ready to move from the house that I had been living in for only 5 months.. a view that was so beautiful.. that I used to imagine that even famous, rich, moviestars would be jealous.. (that is IF they knew me .. came to see me and saw my view) .. so, what if I had the 80 year old chain smoking, cancer survivor, (I think that someone where in her mind- the other cancer hadn't been lung cancer- so there was no danger in smoking of the ciggies) landlady from the evil bad place.. (don't want to say bad things about her.. cause she is elderly- even if she was very mean) .. I had to go next-door monthly to pay my rent.. coughing the moment I entered her door, she'd offer me ciggies at least 3 times while I was there and each and every time.. I'd cough.. barely able to get the words out: "NO, thanks, I don't smoke." cough.. cough.. cough..

How mean was she you ask?? ha ha.. (I'll tell you someday) So, bad that one time I had to make an international phone call to cry to a friend about how mean she had been to me... ME!

Yes, yes.. back to the shoes. Well, the place that I was working- had no place to buy shoes, none.. none.. I didn't see any for sale in the little town/village down below my mountain view.
So, I had gone to the states for Christmas and had done what any 'shoe deprived' for 6 months female would do: I WENT SHOE SHOPPING! I put some of the shoes in my suitcase and the other 6 boxes.. I mailed to myself.

So, there we are.. the problem w/ the car.. (ah, see it does have something to do w/ the shoe story of woe) since.. I had no car.. I had to walk up and down this mountain everyday. It was about 1 1/2 miles each way. THEN, if I missed the local bus connection at the bottom of the hill and didn't have time to wait ANOTHER 30 minutes.. for the next one.. I was left w/ the only other way to work: WALK the rest of the way.. another 2 miles+. So, you see.. one does not wear their nice, new shoes for this amount of walking.

Some shoes aren't meant for that type of walking and some would be so scuffed the first day- that they'd have to be regulated to: old shoe for bumming around status

Since, my car ended up being held hostage by GREEDO's car repair shop for months.. a phone call from me.. every couple of weeks.. listen 'greedo' I really, really need my car.. I am walking up and down a mountain to work.

AND as a result, these beautiful new shoes.. lived in their nice unbent boxes in the closet. Waiting to be used eventually. AND, there I was in my final clear out.. of the apartment.. and it was only when I was on the plane.. that I realized that those beautiful boxes full of new shoes.. were still in the closet, behind the door that you don't notice when the door to the bedroom is open, waiting to be taken home.

*The plan was to take them to the hotel and put what would fit in my suitcase and mail the rest to my new location. Yes, at least 8 pairs of shoes orphaned by accident.

The only comfort? The landlady had much bigger feet than I did.

Also, I had only been living in the house for about month and my car had only been in 'greedo's car repair' shop.. for less than a month.. little did I know that the car wouldn't be repaired until 6 months later.. just in time to be shipped to another foreign country! So, at the time.. of the shoe purchaes.. I had no idea that I'd be walking up and down a mountain for months.. sigh..

Can't wait to hear reparts from your NYC adventures.. remember: BLACK clothing will always make you: sort of, almost, well.. blend in w/ the locals. :D

GOOD LUCK!!! YOu'll do great.. People are always drawn to the southern accent.. it's easy to understand and soothing to the ear.. and very pleasant to hear. Keep that in mind. I hope that you get this far down in the posts to read my message. I still have my YARN MARKET IN SEOUL, KOREA photos to send you. Just need to know where/when/etc.

I just looked at the Zappos packing box again - it looks really BIG sitting in the back of your Jeep (in the dark)...can't believe you carried that big thang on public transportation! Waddawoman!! I'm laughing all over again...tee hee hee hee hee

Haven't bought shoes in a store for four years. (Store was DSW, which I know is not lost on you. I would love to go there again, but it's too far and I'm too lazy.) Zappos is IT for me. Compared to everyone I know, I am quite conservative about my shoe fetish. And because I make well-considered purchases, I don't get rid of shoes often, either; my oldest pair date back to 1984 [Sebago campsiders, still in their prime].
But boys/men just do not get why you need anything more than one totally beat up pair of sneakers and one totally beat up pair of dress shoes that you hate wearing anyway. The worst is more than one pair of black shoes. "How many black shoes do you NEED?" My latest Z's purchase, to wear for summers: Crocs in alma mater colors (my undergrad, UCLA). Whenever my son sees a Z box, he says, "Mom, send that back; you're supposed to be saving money for my college!" And so I am.

The next thing you have to do is freak the men out with multiple handbags. They comprehend that interest even less than they do shoes, and when they scratch their heads, you can whack them with the bag like an old lady!

Hee - trying carrying a loaned out (ohmigodsomeonemightbreakit!) spinning wheel back and forth to spinning class on a bus. Several times. During rush hour on the way out, and late at night on the way home. With transfers. When one of the routes covers several blocks of the downtown street with all the winos. Eep!

(There must be a theme going on lately in blogland, this is the second time I was able to use this example. LOL.)

CLEARLY, the jokesters are amateurs when it comes to the shoe buying.

I love shopping at Zappos - I can order the same pair of shoes in 3 or 4 colors, in 3 sizes (the one I think will work, plus one up and one down) and send most of them back.

Laurie is so full of sole... (hee hee)

(am I allowed to comment 3x's in one day?)

((sorry))

It's a woman thing. The husband doesn't get my shoe obsession either, but who cares? As you say: they're happymaking!

Hi, I am a first time commenter on your blog after recently discovering it :)

I just have to ask - where are the pics of your new shoes??? :(

Zappos is fantastic! I ordered a pair of shoes last week. This was my first time ordering from them. I placed my order at 8:00 P.M. on Thursday night and had them by 6:30 the next night! Unreal!!

Linda in VA

Zappos is the best thing ever. I just last week got my own giant box of three pairs of shoes, what a coincidence (hard to imagine carrying it around). Love Zappos!

You are fantastic! Thanks for doing the research for me, now, when you get back, I want to see those shoes. I have to see those shoes. I can't just go and buy something without knowing someone else thinks they are awesome too!

Now I need to see your new shoes, please post some pics with your new shoes.

Let's see the shoes!

I love Zappos! My husband always asks why I buy so many shoes yet only seem to wear black flip flops all the time. He doesn't understand that I don't need to wear them all... I just need to HAVE them. Silly man.

Y'all, I once hauled a KitchenAid mixer home on the GRTC bus. I don't think the box was quite as big as yours, but man, was it heavy!

a) If the smart-alecks recognize that Zappos is a shoe store, they can't be entirely as shoe-clueless as they pretend. I think it's a defensive-offensive tactic.
b) People talk to strangers on the bus?!

Okay so that's a great story but I want to see the shoes!!!!!! :)

I once carried a futon on three buses in Kobe, Japan. Crazy, fat, tall, American lady with a giant futon all rolled up and tied with twine. I'm sure it was on the front page of the Kobe Shinbun the next day.

Show us the shoes!

And I think three pairs is quite restrained. I just bought five because I knew they would cry if I left them in the shop.

(Okay, okay, *I* would have cried. But they love me too.)

I also do not have the time right now to read all these comments ....so I will just go with my gut here. Where are the pictures of the shoes????
The suspense is killing me now.

Even when I was a little kid ,getting new shoes was so thrilling I would literally sleep with the shoes. No teddy bears here, give me the smell of new suede (leather,velvet,whatever) shoes!!! :)

And one thing about being caloricly challenged, even when I'm fat and nothing fits me....shoes never disappoint.

On the subject of "big stuff from Canada" I recomend this!

http://www.tabloidcolumn.com/easter-egg.html

World's Largest Easter Egg

Also I suggest downloading "Canada is Really Big" by Captain Tractor. Best song EVAR!

Now, I always thought that a redneck woman was the gal with the big hair, full face mask of warpaint, push up bra, tight clothes and constant heels. You know, Peg Bundy. In which case in order to keep up the image, you absolutely must have heels and they must match your outfit perfectly or completely clash with it if they are too fabulous not to wear.

Thanks so much for your response yesterday about my cat's litter problem. It was so weird for George to start having problems with the cat box -- even with the litter switch to Cat Attract. So I went ahead and took him to the vet, and oh my God, this poor cat has some huge crystals formed in his bladder and his bladder is inflamed (three times the size). I won't get the urinalysis results until tomorrow, but holy crap is this so much bigger than just switching his litter.

I guess the litter switch was just a coincidence. The vet said the crystals have been forming for a few months because of his food. I adopted him in January, and I've been feeding him Purina One since then (to control hairballs). I can't believe I almost killed this poor cat with that food. I still have to watch him closely though because he could still get a blockage from one of those gimongous crystals. I feel terrible. But who knew? I was just trying to feed him food that wasn't recalled and that seemed healthy.

I just wanted to follow up so that you wouldn't think that the litter was still the problem. I'm sure it's great stuff.

....did someone mention we would REALLY like to see your shoes?...

A coworker and I used to be in a constant competition for the office "Imelda Marcos" title. We each frequently have a few different pairs of shoes under our desks. I generally spend the day running around a large hospital, and fashion normally wins the shoe-choice debate in the mornings, but there are those days when 3-4 inch heels and a 2 square mile hospital campus just do not go together. So, the answer is to have several choices available!

also - see www.onlineshoes.com free shipping both ways and 90-day unconditional returns....one of my online happy places :-)

oooh - you are evil (in a good way)! I IMMEDIATELY went and ordered myself a new pair of shoes from Zappos! :)

i have ugly, large, hard-to-fit feet. Zappos makes it so easy to choose styles, try them on in the privacy of my own home, and then decide whether I want to keep or return them.

My D-width flat feet may have to check out Zappos. And Jeannie? You must have been in fabulous shape with all that mountain climbing! But perhaps the shoes were just not meant to be at that particular time... <-ellipses (some people say they are evil but they are merely punctuation marks, however misused)
Can we please see the shoes after you come back from New York?

Thanks, Laurie. I just ordered from Zappos two weeks ago (but really, before then, it had been at least 18 months!). Suddenly I have the shoe-hankering, and I must do it again. It's garbage night, so I'll reward myself after I take out the kitty litter and diapers and recycling. Something blue.

Excellent undercover work... and how late does it get dark there this time of year?

Mr. "You-Can-Always-Live-in-the-Box" really is too funny. Love that line.

In Belgium you can carry anything on a bus and no one will smile, make eye contact or help you.

Some of my favorite expat stories are those where new expats take a bus to the store and forget they have to carry their purchases home. Ha, ha, ha. The chick that humped a futon mattress home from Ikea on the bus wins the award for best story ever, but the guy with a year's supply of cleaning products (mops, buckets, spray bottles, polishes, cans, etc) wins a close second.

I would have belted in the shoes on the ride home.

You are maybe, not so crazy.

Love and Laughter,
Amy

"humped a futon mattress home from Ikea on the bus" I'm still laughing....

SUE F.. ha ha.. I wish! However, I moved into the rental house in late Oct.. early winter.. and remember how it gets dark early in the winter time?

Well, I lived only 4 miles from work- however, combining that will the combination of: walk, wait for the city bus, then ride the bus, (for the first time home), and then walk the rest of the way up the mountain home takes awhile. I had to leave work an hour and a half to allow for my 4 mile commute.

Well, 4 miles is nothing in a car-however, the first week- I didn't know about the city bus.. and I had to walk the entire 4 miles home.

So, the first day that I was living in my house, it took 2 hours to get home and by the time that I got to the mountain-- it was already dark and grew darker and darker.. and by the time that I got to the mountain it was pitch dark. NO street lights, no moon and most of all.. there I was without a FLASHLIGHT and walking home the first time and only had a 'basic understanding' of which turns/roads to take to get to my place.. up the mountain. I started singing... figuring that my 'inability' to sing anything at all.. would scare any wild animals away.

*There were turns that you could take- and I knew that I needed to keep going to the left.. to the left.. But, of course you COULDN'T see any of the places where the narrow road divided either! Yes, I did have to backtrack a little.

I just kept trying to feel the paved road under my feet. (when you got close to my house- it would change to a gravel road) and of course, I could hear the wild animals making noises in the trees/grass areas. I just pretended that the noises were being made by kitty cats.. out playing.

IF ever a person needed a drink.. after enduring that ordeal-- it was me.. however, since I had just moved in.. the day before.. there was NOTHING in the house and I certainly wasn't going to walk up and down the mountain again! :D

Laurie I cannot believe that you would tease us with photos of the box of shoes, but not actually show us the shoes! Show me the shoes!!

Girl, you know us readers love looking at shoes, so don't tease us with your boss' "xena warrior" comments. We'll be the judge of that.

Plus, don't listen to everyone on the bus. They don't understand a good shoe addiction. I should know because I have one. Also, if you want feed them a white lie to quiet them down, say that you're doing "journalism research" on online products and have to write a review. That's halfway truthful, right? Then you'll look all professional.

Okay, seriously. I JUST tried to have this discussion with a guy friend yesterday. I was on the phone with him when my box of three pairs of shoes from Ebay showed up at my house. He didn't understand why I would need to buy three pairs of shoes at once, and I'm pretty sure he used the "you only have two feet" line.

They just don't get it do they???

You just crack me up! Seriously! I heart you!!!

So where is the picture of the shoes?!? I wanna see if the pair looks too Warrior Princess for work....

I just have to say I love reading your blog, you crack crack me up! Just remember we all need a good pair of shoes! Remember Carrie on Sex and the City and how much she had spent on shoes $40,000, so it can't be that bad :-)

Okay, here's my update..... I ordered my shoes on the 30th - they were waiting for me when I got home today. (I live in Hawaii.) Yay!! Daughter graduates from h.s. tomorrow, and I have nice new shoes to wear (they fit - and they're comfortable)!!

I take back my comment that you're evil-in-a-good-way. You're wonderful for reminding me that I needed to order new shoes from Zappos! :)

So let's see the shoes! BTW, I love Zappos too.