i hate dog poo.

i would get in their grillz. but that's me.

Wow, you actually have a fruit tree! I'm jealous!

so, laurie, can you tell us how about your career path. this is a particular interest of mine, what with being stifled and all.

oooh oooh that smell... health dept, maybe?

Michelle--If you're out there, it's called "The Surprise Doll", and it's back in print!
http://www.amazon.com/Surprise-Doll-Morrell-Gipson/dp/193090018X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2754308-7434437?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176222391&sr=8-1

Sorry to hijack, Laurie, but I finally remembered it!

Call the LA County Code Enforcement Complaint Line weekdays between 9:00 am-4:00 pm at (866) 557-RENT;

hah hah smokey Joe, very funny ;)

My career path: wake up, beeline to the coffee, sometimes stare out the bus window. That path leads me to work. Then on the way home I am led by my stomach, who usually wants dinner. It is a predictable path, but a good one.

To answer your question, no, their mama didn't raise them better. Some people are just rude & icky. I mean, if that's how they treat their own property, you can only imagine how they'd treat the property of someone they don't care about. You're right to follow your instincts. If you say anything I'm sure the icky poopoo will end up in your yard.

Plant lavender or something fast growing in that part of the yard or something. Maybe the nice smell will drive them to put the poo elsewhere.

Just a thought....

THANK YOU, orangeblossoms!

I agree that people who stockpile dog poo are not people working with a full deck. Don't confront them or they most definitely will rain poo pellets all over your yard!

AJ's Code Enforcement is a good start. You might try contacting the Humane Society, regarding pet neglect. If all else fails, call the non-emergency police line and ask for some advice from them. It's gotta be a health hazard!

Good luck, oh Princess of Poo!

Contact your local SPCA, Humane Society, or Animal Control (or all of the above) and file a complaint. They handle excessive barking too.

http://www.permitla.org/csr/

also you can do it on line...

Your city must have some sort of code enforcement office that you can call and complain. There must be laws against this sort of thing. I call my code enforcement office each and everytime one of my neighbors does something not so nice or clean or safe.

It's always the Neighbor War starting neighbors that do this kind of thing! I'd be afraid too that the poo would end up in my yard. Good luck with this. You shouldn't have to live like that, and neither should their dogs!

I know you're on a budget, but my parent's have a crazy hateful neighbor that's lived behind them for more than 20 years, and they planted a WALL of lilac bushes. You could go to the garden center and ask for a couple good smelling flowering trees and put them on your credit card. But take heart, they can take the dogs away if they are in unsafe or unsanitary living conditions. Especially if Animal Control has been to the house before.... but that still doesn't mean they'd pick up the poop though. :(

That's why I live in the country-in the middle of nowhere-with ample opportunity to yell at kids without neighbours hearing(or they would just assume they are being called in for dinner...)We have sheep- and sheeps poo in the fields...it smells only when the neighbours fertilize with animalstuff... LOL.

You know-when that mound of poo gets tall enough it might topple and hurt someone...

Yukk...how gross! Hmm...how to deal with it. Right, you don't want to set them off. Here's one idea: play cute and stupid and invite them over to a genuine Southern Barbecue in the backyard. Then after you eat ask Mrs. McYellsalot if she'd like to come into the back-backyard and see what you've done with it. Then sort of accidentally make your way nearer the poo pile, where you have coincidentally planted some interesting plants that take a long time to explain. Stupid and cheerful is the key. :-)

The concrete pad between their garage and the fence is definitely not a harmonious pooping surface.

You can contact animal control by selecting your correct zip code you can find at this web site: http://animalcontrol.co.la.ca.us/locationByCity.asp

They are required to keep the animals in sanitary conditions. Animal control will know if they can do anything or not.

From the Los Angeles County animal ordinances:

10.68.020 Sanitation requirements generally.

Every premises where animals are kept, fed, stabled or otherwise cared for, or any premises on which a hog ranch or slaughterhouse is maintained, or where meat products are prepared for food, shall be kept in a clean and sanitary condition. (Ord. 8397 § 1 (part), 1963: Ord. 1415 Art. 7 § 116, 1926.)

These are general LA County ordinances: http://animalcontrol.co.la.ca.us/LawsOrdinances.asp#InhumaneTreatement

Good luck. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and can't imagine cleaning up after them by just creating a large pile. I'm sometimes not as diligent with the dogs in winter as I prefer (due to the fact that it gets dark at 3/4pm here in winter and there are piles of snow in the way as well), but I don't see the point of just moving the mess. Yuck.

It's the marigolds! Marigolds smell like poo! Seriously. Or is it just me?

Most cities have ordinances that deal with how often you have to clean up your yard if you own pets, for the very reason that your neighbors don't want to smell someone else's poo mountain. Any of the ideas above will work. (Also, don't mess with people who have poorly socialized pit bulls, either - mine is nice and friendly, so I can say that without being called a pibble-hater.)
We used to have a neighbor kid who we'd pay to clean up our dog yard once a week. We "fired" him when we found out he was chucking OUR dog poo into HIS yard and making his mom pay him to clean it up AGAIN.

I'm delurking to suggest that you "accidentally" drop a lit cigarette in there (well, I know you quit- good for you!- but perhaps you could pretend to take it back up solely for this purpose). I mean, I hear methane is combustible. Or possibly it could fizzle and go out. Or start a neighborhood fire...

On second thought, go with calling the authorities.

Oops...just finished reading and I guess the poo smell is poo. I still stand my by opinion of marigolds tho. Ha.

That is just nasty. It seems like you already have some pretty good resources listed above. I figured there were ordinances about yard cleanliness as well as the animal stuff. Best of luck.

When you have a pet you have to take care of it people! Stupid humans!

Actually I was just happy to hear that the smell was not Francisco laying dead in the alley. You had me scared for a second there. See it could be worse.

That is so obnoxious! I do not get people and their shoddy dog caretaking. People in my building are constantly letting their dogs poop IN THE HALLWAY and just leaving it there for some innocent bystander (me) to step on it, or letting their dogs pee IN THE ELEVATOR. It takes days for that smell to go away.

Ewwww gross.

I don't like most of the people here in Atlanta either. I have upstairs neighbors who play techno music all night long. I kind of hate them.

Naaaaasty! I'm with you and the others -- go the "official" route and let some kind of authorities handle the matter. While I'm generally one for trying to work it out directly with people, this seems like a scary situation where you are right to listen to your in-stinks and go around these folks. (See what I did there? Instincts/in-stinks. Hilarious.) Seriously. In every way possible, that's some scary shit.

That's a Public Health hazard. Call your city's public health department and tell them about it. They will come visit them and tell them they need to clean it up, and keep it clean, or they will get fined.

Do not confront these neighbors; Public Health will not tell them who contacted them about it if you ask.

I think calling the non-emergency police line is a good way to go to get schooled on the rules and regulations, and possibly arrange for an officer to pay them a visit. While I was on the line with the police I would also mention the constant yelling at the children. I also agree with calling the health department and SPCA.

Do not confront these people directly, they are messed up.

Living in the country means that while you will not get a pile of poo stockpiled against your fence, by scary yelling neighbours, you get their dogs running around your yard and making it hard for your kids to go outside and play. Random piles of poo here and there for them to slip in. Lovely.

If there weren't large dogs running around I'd suggest creating a little flag, sneaking into their yard and planting it at the top of the mountain. It could say something pithy like "POOP" or "SMELL".

Not that I think it would help, but it would be pretty funny.

Yuk. Looks like you've gotten some good advice here, I have none. I agree that confronting them doesn't seem wise. Anonymous complaints are good.

Congrats on the fruit trees. I am glad it isn't the stench of a rotting gardener, hopefully he won't return in time to stunt the trees' growth.

This is definitely NOT something for you to do on your own. After you contact Code Enforcement / Board of Health please also call or visit your neighborhood police precinct. Tell them you have made a complaint against your neighbors and you would like it on record because you fear that there may be some sort of retribution. I think we'd all rather you make sure of your own safety (and the cat posse's)than not.

How the heck can people live that way????

Just be happy you don't have preschoolers who pee or poop right in front of your front door. That's one of the draw-backs to country life. My mother-in-law taught my children to potty in nature without getting themselves messy. Problem is, she didn't mention when and where that was appropriate. There's got to be some rule about not doing it right where people walk all the time. And, then, if there's a toilet nearby.... These are the times I want to slap my mother-in-law silly.

Call the health department or animal control. The poop pile qualifies as a health risk not only because it stinks, but it attracts vermin, such as rats.

If they ask you if you've talked to the neighbors (in my county, they'd try to get me to take care of the problem), remind them that it's two pit bulls that created the problem and you'd rather not confront the owners.

Will you PLEASE stop saying "yard fart"? I keep spitting coffee all over my poor computer. :)

Love you, darlin.

Ugh! Dog poop is one of my pet peeves!! I enjoy dogs (I've currently got some cats however). I also enjoy people who enjoy dogs. I do not however enjoy people who let their dogs poop whenever they want (like my portion of the "front yard") and let it stay there. I feel like everytime I go to the mailbox I have to watch for land mines. *shudder* Isn't there some sort of campaign from the 80's about saying "no" that applies to this?? There has got to be an agency you can call.. that's not sanitary for you or for the animals themselves and since its neither of your responsibilites to dispose of it.. Just say no to poop mountains!!

Yelling neighbors with pit bulls. Do we share the same neighbor? Ours is psycho. We once asked him to stop sounding off his air horn and he went nuts, claiming he doesn't complain about us and that "this" has been going on for 20 years (we've lived here almost 10 years). Do call code enforcement. I wish you the best. Yelling neighbors with pit bulls rarely can be reasoned with, especially ones who can't be bothered to dispose of the dog poop. Ew.

And hopefully Francisco won't be back. It's such a shame your fruit tree was "pruned" so poorly all these years. Yay fruit! We have something like 12 fruit trees in our little yard. You should plant some more!

Well, everyone's already given you helpful advice, but I say call the health department. That is a health hazard.

Laurie, that is sick. Gross.

A few weeks ago you had a comment that included a link where we all could go watch chickens in a pen. LIVE! Can I ask the poster to re- post the link? My baby loves to watch the chickens. (Are you mad about the hijack?)

Yup. Code enforcement office. Call them until they come out. Say "I may have seen a rat." That gets them, at least up here in the pacific northwest.

I used to have neighbors that PEED ON MY HOUSE FROM THEIR SECOND STORY WINDOW.

I am going to have to reread this post over and over just so I can imagine you saying 'yard fart'.
I would report them. there has to be someone you can call. Health dept? Child services? That would make those yellers love you!

call animal control on them. that's bad for the animals and a nuisance. seriously. let the professionals you pay with your tax dollars handle it.

I agree with Dr. B, try to be anonymous. That is not only stinky, but also unhealthy for the dogs, the children that are yelled at, and can't that stuff seep into the ground and spread into neighboring yards (namely, yours?) Maybe you could throw baking soda over the fence onto the mountain, that could kill the smell until the authorities arrive.

You've already gotten all kinds of practical advice so instead I'll just share about the time my grandparents were visiting us and while we were outside walking with them, we came across a neighborhood dog in really pitiful shape. His fur was all dirty and matted and he was literally crawling with fleas. My grandfather went back to the house and got paper and a pen and some string and put a sign around the dog's neck that said "Help! I'm being eaten alive!" and then sent the dog home. Next time we saw it, it had been fully bathed, groomed and flea-dipped. I don't suggest trying this with the neighbor's pit bulls, but perhaps flying some anonymous, message-covered paper airplanes into their back yard? If nothing else, I thought you'd appreciate the "I have kooky relatives" story ;-)

my favorite *chicken* cam:

http://www.flyingskunk.com/live.html

also with goats!

I fifth the motion for notifying the powers-that-be, that MUST be a healthcode/city living violation.

And if THAT doesn't work, buy some lye, a mask and gloves, and sneak over to their yard in the middle of the night and sprinkle it, BABY.

Ew.

I say go get a shovel and shovel that mess back into their property. Near the house.

i am clearly in the minority here. everyone advocates being anonymous, with good reason. must be the pit bull factor.

so, no, don't douse the pile with kerosene and light it.

:)

In the words of Linus, "I love mankind; it's people I can't stand".

I can't speak with any authority, but think there must be some sort of health code violation going on there - would it be worth contacting city officials to find out? Either that, or late at night shovel it into a wheelbarrow and leave the whole stinkin' mess on their front step...

Health Department. Don't call Animal Control if you can avoid it - they love nothing more than taking peoples' animals away and charging them a fortune, and they're certainly not anonymous. So you'd be in doo doo then. Likely quite literally.

(Whoever you call is going to expect you to have talked to the neighbors first. Just warnin' ya.)

Me, I'd fling it all back in their yard. (I mean, with a shovel. Pissed, not stupid.) That's what I do when the neighbors have big stupid all-night parties and leave piles of beer bottles and plastic cups in our yard. But then, I adore confrontation.

You live in so. Cal. and you rent. Aren't you a member of some kind of Association? In addition to all the good suggestions above, also put in a complaint with them. Those Association-type people are usually pretty good about wanting their neighborhoods to be nice and pretty and uncluttered with pit bull poo mountains.

I'm all for calling the health dept., but unless you think the pets are actually in danger, I would avoid calling animal control or the Humane Society. I have been told by animal rescue people that an animal picked up by the Humane Society (in LA County, anyway) has a fair chance of being put down, and it's almost a certainty if they're picked up by the city. Sad.

Here is what I think. I think that if we put my neighbors on an island with no way of getting back. Mine routinely throw broken furniture, garbage into my yard. My kids play back there. Ugh. They are yellers as well. I hope that your neighbors move soon :)

I would call animal control and also maybe child protective services. Heart breaking!
Also, although I live in Georgia, I've got your back girl!

Here in Chicago, we have signs all over the place saying that the ordinances require you to pick up dog poo because RATS EAT POO. (Ew. Ew ew ew.) Therefore, a poo mountain could be, like, Rat Old Country Buffet. If you can't get anyone to admit that having a poo mountain is some sort of code violation, try and get the city's vermin control people to take note! If the Yelling Neighbors get busted for providing rat food (again, Ew Ew Ew, poor little rats but Ew!) that could also be an avenue to restore your yard's natural eau-de-not poo.

Health Department. I don't know about Cali, just because I live doesn't mean I know anything about it, but back east the Health Department would go in and force people to pick up after their dogs -- even if it on their property. It attracts all kinds of unwelcome poo loving creatures and must be banished.

Barring that, one evening when they are quiet, get the hose to the mountain of poo and make poo mud -- claim you were watering the bamboo screen ;)

It should be noted that neither dog nor human poo have enough nutriants to be considered manure -- I know you wanted to know that, right? (now if only I could have spelled that)

You've already gotten tons of useful advice, so let me say just two words: yard fart.

Yard fart.

Yard fart.

Yar...OK, *OK*, I'll stop. But I love it.

(y*rd f*rt)

What?! No pictures? ONLY KIDDING!!!!

Icky.

Also, it has been said that dog poo is not good fertilizer, at least for the food garden, because some yucky germ can get to the people from the food grown in the poop. Similar to cat poop and otters, I think.

So, do you still have the contact info for the cute young gardener who helped you bring in the groceries last fall? "Todo es muerto." "Si."

That's HORRIBLE! Unfortunately, I can relate. I rent (not for long hopefully) and the people upstairs have 2 lovely dogs. I really do love the dogs. However, the only time they clean up their poo is when the landlord calls and tells them to. The only time that happens is when I complain to the landlord. We had a warm weekend recently and I opened my windows and took a nice, deep breath of what I thought would be fresh Spring air...and got a good whiff of Eau de Dog Crap. I've had it.

I played good cop/bad cop with my LL and told him that I want to call the local board of health but my fiance does not want me to. I think I'm going to have to do it. Nothing has happened.

Call the Board of Health, Laurie. And code enforcement AND Animal Control. Oh man, I really feel for you.

so disappointed, i thought there would be a picture of the mountain of poop!

Animal control would be your best bet probably.

You want to call the Department of Health and Human Services. Give it a public health spin. The large volume of waste encouraging horrible illnesses to grow and possibly spread. They'll take it seriously, especially if you call once a day, and they won't pass your name along. The neighbors will never know who turned 'em in.

Take it from us (cursed to live in the 10th circle of suburban neighbor hell until we can move to the country)... One of our neighbors let weeds grow, literally, 10 feet tall (pokeweed) and parked their car on bricks in the backyard. The weeds were a major breeding ground for mosquitos which made any activity out there unbearable. We just mentioned the magic words to the Health Department--"west nile"--and not 2 days later it was resolved.

If all the resources mentioned here don't work, is there a "consumer's advocate" type of investigative reporter at one of your local TV news stations that helps people get things done when the authorities won't help? Boston has "Help Me Hank" who always seems to get things done when there seems to be no other options... See http://www1.whdh.com/features/main/hank/

Surely L.A. has someone similar?

Just cause I haven't seen any really darkly redneck posts yet: I have friends in Northern Ireland who really know how to deal with these kind of people. Just make sure to board your back windows before they go to work on the 'issue'.

Call me if you need their number. ;)

We're rooting for you in the Great White North!

call the city dept. of health and welfare (i think that's what it's called)

or you could report it as a fire hazard (the methane in the poop could spontaneously combust?)

http://www.lafd.org/hazard.htm

you could report it as a sewer odor and then when they come to inspect it, point them in the direction of the odor.

http://www.lacity.org/SAN/lasewers/hotline/index.htm

or, you could call animal control (this is probably your best bet actually)

http://www.laanimalservices.org/about_contactus.htm

i wish you good luck w/this. i have lived near similarly enjoyable neighbors...it sucks

Ah, I thought I was the only one! I say at least weekly, if not daily, "I hate people." I usually say this to one of my dogs, as they understand. There are exceptions to every rule. SOME people are nice, at least some of the time. But the species, in general? Not so much. And shame on the poo stackers. I live in a little house in the woods, and my doggies politely go in the woods, where neither my neighbors - several acres away on all sides - nor my household can be offended.

I'm "mom" to three dogs -- and believe me, they make A LOT of poo... but it never in my wildest dreams would occur to me to STOCKPILE IT! Dear God, what is the world coming to?

If I were you I would call the health department... just because, well... that just can't possibly be healthy, can it? Basically having raw sewage piling up outside? Ewwweeee!

Good luck! Love your blog!

Hm...I think we need to see the poop! Btw - long time, no see. Still loving your writing!

people are gross. i saw a guy shaving his head (yes, for real.) on the bus yesterday.

When I first started reading I thought you were going to reveal that the fruit tree is a female gingko and was dropping those little vomit bombs they produce in your garden. But then the story just got so much worse! UGH! I hope you're making phone calls!

Once upon a time, way back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper (we had big grasshoppers), my parents had to deal with people letting their dogs specifically poop in our yard. They were determined to let this happen and they did it every day.

My dad decided he had enough. So he had bacon one morning. Lots of it. Enough that there was a good accumulation of grease in the saucepan. He took that saucepan outside and poured the drippings on the fecal remains of that morning. The next day as our friendly neighbor walked by to let his dogs poop in our yard, he was deeply disgusted to see his dogs eating their own feces and they wouldn't leave it alone either.

I believe that was the end of that.

So! Who's up for bacon?

holy snappin' grossness!!! We have the Animal Control department here up north, so you all have to have something like that in LA! That is so disgusting, it creates a whole new definition of grossness. They sound exactly like the people who live behind my parents' old place--yellers, and the music they crank is of the James Taylor variety. Nothing against JT, but he's not really a crankable kinda guy...one night, one of those hateful hot nights that we occasionally do get wayyy up here in Edmonton, Alberta, I was laying in my bed, sweating, cursing the absence of the slightest bit of wind through the window, and deep into the night, around 1 am--they begin. The dad and the son--screaming at the top of their lungs on the BACKYARD DECK. FOR 3 HOURS. And just as I thought "THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING THE LAW!!", the dad shouts out that he's in the RCMP (our federal police force.....).....GUH.....

I say you go and tell them that, while you are sure they aren't aware of it, the pile of doggie-do they've been collecting by their fence has gotten quite large. And while you're sure they didn't mean it to, it has gotten rather smelly and has been more than noticeable to you when you are outdoors in your yard. And that you would appreciate it ever so much if they would take care of the pile of doggie-poo before it becomes a health hazzard and something that would require the city's attention. Thanks, ever so, Ducks.

If they become vile and decide to decorate your lawn in dog poo, you can either A) report them or B) retaliate with the fecal matter (and associated litter) that four well-fed cats produce.

I can't tell you who exactly to call, but I can tell you that a big pile 'o poo is pollution. Every time it rains, poo will wash away and get into waterways. You might want to call environmental protection or a water authority or somesuch agency.

And also: ick! What is wrong with people?

be careful laurie. they sound like crazy folk.

Buy some fast-growing flower seeds for shallow soil. Fling through the fence onto Poop Mountain. "Accidently" water them when you're watering your own plants.

Voila.

And call the Health Department.

Also, I would recommend addressing them directly since it will show them that you are serious about the matter and it will give you the oppertunity to put the nicest, most polite spin on your no-nonsense message where as a note on a door can only be interpeted as a passive-agressive attempt by someone who has no balls for a face-to-face converstaion. I know it's hard and I have TOTALLY been there. I know the one time I had to talk to a redneck neighbor of ours, he really appreicated that I came to talk to him personally about the issue instead of (justifiably) calling the cops.

I like Kit's idea! God, I'd give anything to see the look on your neighbor's face when he walks outside and sees his dogs chowin' down on their gigantic pile of poop.

Why is it so hard for them to just buy a little shovel, pick up the poo, and dump it in the trash? Isn't this what our never-ending collection of plastic shopping bags is FOR? Geez, how lazy/mean are these people?

A quick glance looks like you've been given lots of good suggestions. Health Department, Animal Control (because it's probably not good the animals live in such filth)...

My friends bought a house out in the country. It's got a deck and side yard and then below it has a little paddock for a horsey or two. And I think there's even a little more land below that. Anyway, the previous owner piled up the horsey poo for years! It took them almost a whole day to clean up the horse poo when they moved in!! DISGUSTING! But luckily not as smelly as dog poo.

My neighbor has cats. Her cats use my yard as a litter box. I hate her cats. (I had a cat--it used it's litter box in the house. I loved my cat) My neighbor told me that cat poop is good fertilizer. And that is didn't hurt anything. (Or apparently smell when my kids sat in it) I'm still upset, but have planted almost ALL dirt areas in my yard to grass to deter them slightly. I try to maintain a sense of this is what I get for living in town the rest of the neighbors aren't that bad but when I was potty training the youngest kid, I contemplated teaching it to use her doorstep.

I live in the country and I have some neighbors I hate. (I have good neighbors, too, like you, but the bad ones are really bad.) One of them sends his dog Buddy over to our house to poop on our back steps every day. Despite my extensive credentials as an Animal Lover, I hate Buddy with a white-hot passion. But not as much as I hate Buddy's owner, who also has a massive collection of metal junk piled up in a direct line of sight with my living room window.

Try Code Enforcement/Public Health/Animal Control first -- one of the downsides of country life is we really don't have anyone in the gummint whose job it is to enforce these things. (Don't tell me to call the County. I work for the County.)

Sprinkling lye on the poop from time to time might help. (Wear gloves.)

But it's all so much funnier coming from you!

I have learned an important lesson this afternoon: do not check in on Bloglines while eating lunch. Beef stew and a bad poo story do not go well together, oh no.

Animal Control should be the authority to call in this situation.

Now, what if the poo were to end up in a paper bag, on their doorstep, and caught on fire? You'd just HAVE to ring the doorbell and run away so that they would find it. I'm just sayin' is all, cuz you know, I'm that mature ;)

I like the idea of calling multiple agencies and having them ALL come out and investigate your neighbors.

(Insert mad scientist laugh here)

But then again, I am 12.

Whatever you do, keep us posted. Enquiring minds wanna know.

Check online for your county's Property Code Enforcement. Do a quick Google search. My county even lets us file the complaint online. Totally do not just live with it...I'm sure they are in violation of some code.

Auntie, now do you see why we hate people? ;^)

mmmmm, I wouldn't directly confront them. There's something about the long-standing craziness these people put off, and you don't need them re-directing their nutjobbiness at you because now they have a Brand! New! Target! Plus, you have neighbors who also adjoin both your properties - unless you're on the corner - so they could also just as easily be the ones complaining about the stink.
The compromise alternative would be to send an anonymous note from "A Neighbor", no return address, typed & essentially requesting they stop creating a health hazard in the backyard; tell them if it's not cleaned up within X days, a report will have to be made to the authorities. Or, conversely, if there's an association, make them the baddies.
The whole thing stinks! Literally!

Maybe you can get Francisco to do something with the poo. He obviously like destroying things. Maybe if you tell him that the pile is not poo, but rather it is a lovely flowering bush he will kill it? Just a thought.

People are annoying and hateful. The Dalai Lama would have his forgiving nature tested by people who throw dog poop into his sacred space. I think Animal Control or the ASPCA could help. (The ASPCA in New York has law inforcement powers--hence Animal Precinct--but I'm not sure if other cities would.)

another thought: a great big fan, blowing toward their house.

Um..pst...shhh....are you sure Francisco is not under the poop pile?

Hmmm, have you thought of a really long extension cord and some giant fans, blowing the poo-air at their house? That could be motivational.

Laurie, I do this for a living. I can help.

In our jurisdiction (Baton Rouge), I could be all over that situation like -- well, like flies on poo.

Our local animal control ordinance requires owners to keep the yard clean, among the other requirements for "proper care" of the animal, and "clean" does not mean piling the poo on another part of the property. "Clean" means "removing the poo."

Inadequate cleanliness falls under the definitions for animal neglect or cruelty in nearly every jurisdiction in the USA, so I would call your county Animal Control, say that you have an animal cruelty situation, and ask to speak to the person in charge of Enforcement -- that person is usually called either the Officer Supervisor or Field Supervisor. If Animal Control is a division of the Police (as it is in some areas) they may have a Field Sergeant. But just ask for the person in charge of cruelty enforcement -- I know for a fact that L.A. has full-time cruelty investigators.

Call Animal Control first, as they are the agency with actual law enforcement powers. An organization called "Valley Humane Services" might adopt pets and do free spays, but they have NO enforcement power -- although they may be able to provide you with detailed information on filing a complaint with Animal Control.

In some communities the SPCA is contracted to perform animal control services, and has enforcement power, but call animal control first to find out how to file and follow up on a cruelty and yard sanitation complaint.

Also, in some communities Animal Control is under the Department of Helath, so you may be able to double-whammy them.

In all 50 states animal cruelty is a felony which means that you may be able to alert the officials anonymously. However, they may not have a "plain view" situation to do the enforcement, in which case they may have to enter your yard to see the poo and other neglect.

Rather than taking up multiple pages of bandwith and comment space, please email me privately (dezcrawford AT hotmail DOT com) and I will help you get some enforcement on this both for the animals' sake and for your own nose.

Also, if they have pit bulls they may be fighting them, which is also a felony. More on that privately.

Of course, before you call Animal Control, this is your opportunity to call Mike Rowe for a Dirty Job. ;-}

Seriously, write me rpivately -- MORE than glad to help, this is what I actually do, like Ann-Marie Lucas, only not as skinny and cute.

Someone mentioned the whole renting/land lord thing. One would have to assume that such obvious rednecks are renting also (not of course suggesting that you are a redneck at all *GULP*). Perhaps you could go through YOUR landlord who would perhaps have contact details for THEIR landlord (if it's not one in the same person) and THEY could sort it out. Isn't that what landlords are all about? Or have I missed some intercontinental difference?

I'd still suggest contacting authorities (public health, maybe not animal control unless it continues), but at least with the landlord thing you'd be able to tell said authorities that you'd contacted the neighbours AND avoid the confrontation.

Just a thought :D It's made a whole lot more conscious about my lazy dog poop shovelling (once a week probably isn't enough!) - especially since my partner and I just bought our first house!

Still loving your site, Aunt Purl!

Don't you just love neighbors? Ours don't have dogs, they just have lots of cars (and not enough parking) and booming stereo systems in said cars.

Good luck with all that good advice you got. And remember, "Hell is other people", as Camus said.

Laurie-when you contact the authorities to make your complaint, you can cite the following laws that they are breaking:

LA County Code 10.68.020 Sanitation requirements generally:
Every premises where animals are kept, fed, stabled or otherwise cared for, or any premises on which a hog ranch or slaughterhouse is maintained, or where meat products are prepared for food, shall be kept in a clean and sanitary condition. (Ord. 8397 § 1 (part), 1963: Ord. 1415 Art. 7 § 116, 1926.)

From this website: http://www.ordlink.com/codes/lacounty/index.htm
found under Chapter 10. Animals

As WELL, LA County Code 11.20.170 Sanitation requirements generally:
A. Each habitable room, hallway, passageway, stairway, wall, partition, ceiling, floor, skylight, glass window, door, carpet, rug, matting, window curtain, furniture, compartment or room, plumbing fixture, drain, roof, vent, closet, cellar, basement, laundry room, yard, court, lot and the premises of every building shall be kept clean, sanitary and free from debris, filth, rubbish, garbage, vermin and other offensive matter. It is unlawful for any person to occupy any building or shelter unless such building or shelter shall provide protection to the occupants from dampness during inclement weather.
B. Air spaces under buildings shall be rodentproof and kept clear and free from rubbish, debris and filth. (Ord. 8588 § 1 (part), 1964: Ord. 7583 Part 3 Ch. 11 § 826, 1959.)

Found under Chapter 11.20 Housing

Now that I think about it, you rent, right? Report it to your landlord.

P.S. -- before someone says, "eek, don't call Animal Control, they'll seize the dogs and kill them," -- please do not be dissuaded by people telling you NOT to call Animal Control. Animal Control MUST go through due process just as in any other legal action, they can't just seize the dogs for the owners' failure to remove feces, and I can explain to you how this works so that the animals are protected and the people are forced to clean up.

If they DO seize the dogs on the spot, it means that the animals have been neglected to the point where they need immediate veterinary care.

Insofar as the comment about Animal Control "loving nothing more than taking people's dogs away and charging them a fortune," dogs are picked up for running at large because it is not healthy or safe for the dogs or for people if they are running at large, and an impressive fine is supposed to impress upon the owner the importance of keeping their dog penned up.

Call the Department of Health. Not at all appropriate. Even in New Jersey, that would not be tolerated. cecilia

OMG Laurie, that's horrible. *gag*

Do not confront those people!

There are some seriously mentally ill people out in the world. Trust me, I know.

One slashed two of our truck tires last year. I don't think I've had a really good night's sleep since this guy fixated on us.

Better to let authorities handle it.

[You never realize how many windows your house has until some nutjob has it in for you.]

I have yelling (and other, sometimes worse) neighbors, and no matter what I don't think it's a good idea to talk directly to them. If they were normal people you could talk to, they wouldn't pile pooop in their yard, you know? They may suspect you reported a problem, but they won't know (ask to be anonymous) and can't then ruin your home life in any way. Good luck!

OK, I have an idea and I've read about 30 comments and I just don't have time to read the eleventy nine others, so here goes: If you have a watering hose long enough )and you should after the square watermelon thang last year) pull the hose back there when they aren't home and water to poo TOWARDS their yard. You can maybe do a little bit every day or two so they won't notice that it's dissapearing, they can stay lazy, and you are doing them a favor so they (probably) won't yell at you. It might raise your water bill a buck or two a month, but I'm thinkin' it'll be worth it.

"...it's people I can't stand." I so agree. Loved the story and comments; I will never complain about neighbors after Ellen's pee story! When I was young, our neighbor had a dog that was abused and barked all night. Always denied it was their dog barking when my folks complained. My dad finally had enough, called middle of one night:
Dad: your dog's barking is keeping me awake. Please do something.
neighbor: That's not my dog.
Dad: Oh, good, then I guess you won't mind if I go out and shoot the dog that's barking then.
Bye.
HAH! end of barking problem. If the smell is too overpowering before authorities intervene, may I suggest throwing a few mothballs on it. They are cheap, they smell strong, and I think they keep vermin away. Added bonus, neighbors may hate that smell.
Public thanks to AJ for finding my book, Surprise Doll! I am so excited; it's on its way from Amazon!! Love you AJ!

RATS.

Dog poo attracts rats among other vile critters. To everyone you call, drop "rat infestation worry" and this will be cleared up pretty quick. Heck, crackhead Bob might get a visit with his burned out love shack being a good point for the rats to nest after they feed on Ratzillas All You Can Eat Buffet

I would call the health department for certain. That's just gross.

I'm sorry for you.

I have 4, count them, 4 pup pups and my yard isn't like that at all.

Gaaaah!

That poo really is gross...

I wonder what happened to Francisco? I've been missing him! (maybe he found your blog...)

It is good that Francisco is gone. Now Laurie can call the cute gardener that helped her with the groceries. He won't mutilate the plants!

smokeyJoe, thank you so much! That was it! I love the audio.

I have heard that sprinklinng lime on dog poo helps with the odour. Maybe you could buy a bag of lime and dump it on the mountain?

I am delurking. I read your blog contantly.
Love it!
Don't dump lime over the fence. Lime is caustic.
Like chemical burn caustic.

Call both Animal control and the Department of Health.

I hate humans, as well.

I vote for the health department! Give them a call.
I understand the bad neighbor scene. I have Crazy Dog Lady on one side and the compensation guy (girlfriend left him and he built a monster garage to make himself feel all manly)on the other.

I would love to live on my own island!

Oh yuck! I think there are lots of great suggestions already, but I have to say that I think calling Animal Control is a good start and then notifying your local police precinct as to what's going on, just in case...
And then maybe, just maybe, try to track Francisco. It would be really sad if he were buried under the mountain of poo.

Have you mentioned the poop mountain to Mrs. Lee. I bet she has the wisdom to help solve the problem.

Don't talk to those neighbors, they are not SMART or nice. Let your tax dollars do the work and call the Health Dept and Animal Control.

I hate people too. I currently have a very scary, drunk all the time guy that owns the sailboat across from me. He is an idiot. I hope he hurts he head soon. Luna also thinks he smells bad. Mean and stupid people suck.

we put our poop in a galvanized pail with a cover, and also a bag. When the bag is full... out goes the poop and in goes the new bag. I agree that winter is harder (sp. in NH).. but still. It's frozen and doesn't smell.

I was awful worried that you were going to find Fransisco in the back 40.. but at least he is staying away from your plants. Maybe a call to the landlord will confirm if he's done for good?

Probably 87 people have said this by now, but I'll go ahead and say it anyway: I'd call Animal Control. That much poo close to those poor doggies has to be a no-no.

I had to call Animal Control a few years ago about one of our neighbors, and it turned out to be the best thing. The problem was corrected by people with badges and backup (neither of which I possess), and I didn't have to deal with lunatics.

...and I thought the spoiled, entitled skateboard brats were bad.

OO, I like Kits suggestion. Plus it would give you an excuse to make bacon for Roy! Bonus! (I heart Roy from afar. Hi Roy!) Anyway, I do love that idea, but wear a mask because that's gonna stink. I also really want to second finding that cute gardener's number from last year. Francisco has vacated his job as 'gardener' and now you can have the cute polite eye candy gardener instead! Bonus!

Yuck. Ick. Ew. You know, I think I might try the knocking on the door route first. You seem to be awfully sweet and I can't imagine you would say anything to make 'em boiling mad. If that doesn't work, try the health department. Those poor animals. And those poor children. And poor you.

OK my advice is completely different.

You know those sandcastle toys you take to the beach? LOL. The ones that look like real sandcastles? (You know where I'm going with this already?) You scoop a crap load (oh jeeeze) into that bucket when they're not looking (or yellin at something) and pack it tight with a small shovel. You walk it around the block to their front yard, on their front steps. And you plop that sucker right down there. In front of the door.

Prepare a flag for the castle in advance (the toothpick and paper kind). Make it says something catchy like, "The Poopie Heads Live Here" or something smarmy like that.

Yeahhh, that'll fix'em good.

Or make those 10 phone calls people keep suggesting (but which one'll REALLY give you that satisfaction????) LOL

Good luck with whatever you do.

DEARLING! I'm answering even before reading the Wise Words of Those Who Went Before Me: call Animal Control AND the Department of Public Health. Not caring for their dogs' poo is abusive to the dogs; not caring for their dogs' poo is abusive to YOU - and all the other genuine humans in the vicinity. OR call with an innocent perlite question to the PO-lice. OR, what I would do here, is call with an innocent perlite question to the Local Teevee Peeps or Newspaper Peeps. Bottom line: your quality of life is compromised; neighbors do not have the right to impair your quality of life, and it's icky. Bubbe has spoken (and will now read my fellow CAP fans' comments).

The yard farted. I can't tell you how much I needed that. :)

I agree with the folks who recommend you call animal control. It's not healthy for anyone in the vicinity, including the children and pets that come in contact with the area.

Most of the other comments are so responsible. i think you should go to the store and buy lots of green tree air freshners (the kind you put in your car) and toss on the pile. Call the appropriate officials next week. You should so have fun first.

Start with code control. Tell them you've seen rats on the property, and there is a very strong odor of dog poo. Tell them you were in a neighbor's yard and saw a dog poo mountain through the fence.

Framing it this way will cloak your identity somewhat -- I think you are right to be concerned about a neighbor war. I mean, *anyone* could have seen the rats, right? And *anyone* could have visited the nice quiet neighbor on that side, right?

Tell code control you are afraid to confront these people about it because you are afraid of them (heck, tell them the whole neighborhood is afraid of them). Claim you've seen them threaten neighbors and don't want to be a target, if you need to. Anyone from code control who wants you to talk to them first has forgotten that sometimes people are wise not to talk to their neighbors. Or, heck, just say you did talk to them -- how would code control know? What are they going to do, ask for a note from your neighbors saying "Dear Code Control, my nice neighbor has oh-so-politely asked me to stop with the poo mountain and its attendant hazards, but I don't feel like it, so there?" If it sound like the person who takes your call sympathizes but has a box to check off, make their life easier and lie.

Keep a log, since sometimes you have to contact code control several times. If it comes to that, being able to call the mayor's office or city council or whatever and say you called code control to report a health hazard on this list of dates, and spoke to this list of people, will give them a good dose of righteous irritation to use on Code Control. (It probably won't come to that, but politicians and their staffers love playing the hero and love people who make it easy for them.)

And then too, a fan in the backyard when you're out there, pointed away from you toward the poo people, might give them its own incentive to clean up. :-)

One thing our health control peeps out here DO NOT LIKE is rats and things that make rats happy.
So, do as Amanda says (I'm her sister- trust me, she knows this stuff).
Also, do the yelling people rent? if yes, then their landlord would be hopping mad to hear that they're treating his property like that. Do you KNOW the kind of damage rats and the bugs that feces attract can DO to a property???? Keep a log of all the above stuff, and if nothing changes, call city hall and find out who really owns the house and make sure they keep getting notices about the unsanitary conditions.
Another possibility (as a last resort) would be to get some enzymes that they sell to break the poop down, and use a fertilizer spray jar attached to your hose to spray through the fence onto the poo mountain. The enzymes are non-toxic, so the poor dogs will be safe, but it will break the crud down faster.

You do not deserve such (dog) CRAP! Definitely call the authorities. I live in the country and we love (most) of our neighbor dogs, even though they do occasionaly dump in our "yard." What we hate is that we are trying to sell our house and our next door neighbor has a used car lot/R.V. park going. Needless to say, potential buyers wonder what's up with that. But hey, it's the country.

If it is indeed a mountain, then you should be able to scoop some up, put it in a paper bag, put the bag on their porch, and light it on fire.
Then ring the doorbell and run away.

Oh, girl, YOU ARE SO POWERFUL! You can get hunnerts of people talking about poop!

Maybe, in the middle of the night when no one's looking, you could get a shovel and hurl all the poo closer to where the yelling neighbors would smell the poo smell themselves. By the way, don't dogs eat poo?

You poor dear!
I wouldn't directly confront the neighbours from hell; they sound like the sort who might use their stockpile as a weapon. I'd hate to think of them building a trebuchet and launching it over the fence...

I'd have a chat to your local council/health department, explain the situation and explain why it is important you are not identified.

Hey, Laurie! How's about calling your landlord?

It's such a childish thing to do - so isn't it more likely the kids themselves just aren't cleaning up after the dogs the right way? Are they old enough that it might be their chore to clean the yard, so they are being lazy and also getting secret revenge on their awful parents? If you went to the authorities and the parents didn't know about the poo, it could make things worse for the kids. Maybe if you are ever home and see the kids out there you could just walk up and casually ask them about the pile of poo in their yard?

Step 1: Go to a hardware store
Step2: Buy a large outdoor fan (with heat would be best)
Step 3: Plug in said fan with enough extension cords to reach the poo fence.
Step 4: Aim fan towards nasty neighbors
Step 5: Turn on fan! Sit back and count the minutes until they come running out to see what the awful stench is.

I think a taste of their own (pooscented) medicine is what's called for here. The health department will tangle you up in red tape for months (and try describing yard fart to them and you'll end up on some sort of "list"). Let them smell the joy they're sharing with the neighborhood.

Or post a "free manure" posting on Craigslist with their address.

There are a few issues with the dog poo.

1. I'm pretty sure that you have to pick up dog poo from your dogs or it could be considered dog abuse. Of course, if they can exist in the back yard without "living" in the feces, this might not apply.

2. It has got to be a violation of health code. A huge pile of dog feces and the disease it brings with it...a disaster waiting to happen!

3. Depending on the kids age, it could easily be a red flag for CPS/DHCS...having access to it, in their play area, etc.

4. We have a law in Seattle (maybe even the local county too) that you have to pick up dog poo within 24 hours...I had no idea until just recently. Maybe your area has the same law/requirement?

5. Finally...Maybe you can find a "pooper trooper" in the area. I have 5 dogs (all but 2 are fosters) so you can imagine the volume of poo I have! I pay for the pooper trooper to come in once a week to come pick it up! It's great that I don't have to pick it up and it's not too expensive! You can get their address and have information mailed to them on your local "version" of the Pooper Trooper!

Good Luck! Amy

UGGGH that is just rank.
reinforces why I live in relatively splendid isolation in the bush with cats, goats and lots of books and fabric and yarn.

Laurie! We have the same career path! Except mine is driven by knowing there is a lovely Malbec and smoked gouda at the end.

Uccelina, with all due respect for your opinion, I work in the field of Animal Control and whatever your animal rescue friend said, the dogs will not be seized and euthanized because these people do not pick up poo.

Animal Control is a law enforcement agency, is obliged to follow due process. Which means action will be taken against the owners.

The number one reason unclaimed animals are euthanized in public shelters is failure of the owner to identify the animal through collar and tag or microchip -- and the owner's owner failure to go to the local shelter to look for, and redeem, their pet. If the animal is unclaimed, it becomes public property after a certain amount of time that varies from jurisdiciton to jurisdiction, and at THAT point in time the shelter must decide if it is healthy and friendly enough to be placed in adoption, or if it will be euthanized. Nobody likes to make that decision.

LACK OF IDENTIFICATION is the number one cause of death for American companion animals. Animal Control can't reunite you with your pet if they don't know who it belongs to.

FAILURE TO SPAY AND NEUTER is the other -- and obvious -- leading cause of death for unwanted animals. People who don;t spay and neuter also tend to fail to vaccinate Mommy Dog, and then they don't understand why Mean (!) Nasty (!) Animal Control must euthanize a litter of unwanted puppies with parvovirus. Like it's Animal Control's fault the puppies are too sick to be adopted.

Nobody in the Animal Control field enjoys euthanasia. It is not a lack of love and caring on the part of Animal Conrol that causes animals to be euthanized -- it is the irresponsible owners who klet their pets run loose, neglect their pets, fail to socialize them and fail to spay and neuter them.

Laurie needs to call Animal Control so some law enforcement can happen in the best interests of the animals. Laurie, I will help you in any way I can.

I have noisy backyard neighbors, too - but luckily it's because they're out working in their artsy-craftsy shop, and they crank up the tunes without remembering how damn close my back window is to their garage.

So when the music reaches the too-high-level, I simply aim my speakers out the window and blast 'em back with classical.

They turn it down rather quickly. :)

I don't mind them playing music outdoors - it's just when they blast it. When I can hear it over my noise-reducing headphones while listening to Kathleen Battle sing gospel, it's too loud. So we have a pretty good compromise.

I'm lucky in that they're good folk, just exuberant.

Wow! I have the same tableau on my floor - the exact same upright scratcher (though a little more worn) and next to it two Trader Joes double wide scratchers next to each other. We call it the quadruple wide (we are very inventive) Yeah, some cats live in my house too!

Laurie,

The pile is a hazard and can carry bacteria, heartworms and other organisms that can affect people (I would add more, but it's pretty awful - if you're need to know, then google). It also attracts rats and affects the watershed. A google search shows that LA has some pretty strict environmental codes for doggie doo. I found this from Department of Animal Services, City of Los Angeles 1-888-LA PETI/1-888-452-7381(link follows):

"Animal excrement (dog droppings) should be picked up daily and deposited in a container to prevent attracting/ harboring flies. Such container should be removed from the premises at least once every seven (7) days. (L.A. County Code Sec. 11.30.070 & 11.16.030/11.16.050)"

http://www.asapla.org/pet%20care.htm

There is a part of me that agrees with Sarah: Turn on the charm, go talk to them, golly gee whiz, maybe you weren't aware...(but then, I am having a terrible time getting myself to talk to the next door neighbor with the bagazillion unhealthy cats who use my front yard, my side yard, my car, my roof and anything else that doesn't move as a cat box). Maybe write a letter. Part of me had the same thought as Bobita...maybe they don't know that whoever's job it is to pick up the poo is dumping it there.

Also talk to the other neighbors (Mrs. Lee, perhaps) and see if they are dealing with the odor - strength in numbers.

And for Dez...I love Mike Rowe and Dirty Jobs. If y'all don't watch, you should.

(And forgive the lack of white space...I have added returns, but they don't show up on the preview).

Well, clearly they do (returns show up) in the final version.

Well, since everyone else seems to be much more informed on how the law regulates piles of poo, let me just say this instead:

honey, I live in the country. I live SO FAR in the country that google maps won't even zoom in on our location, because they assume that the only things that live here are of the four-legged variety. (And, for the most part, they're right, too.)

But out here?

STINKS. Big stink. Animal stink, rotting vegetation stink, stagnant water stink, fertilizer (chemical) stink. Unidentified stink that I *really, really do not want to know* where it's coming from. Our -water- stinks of iron and some weird thing that I also can't identify, since it's not nice and processed by the city municipal water thingee.

You can move to the country to get away from people (which doesn't really work here, either, since they ALL KNOW YOU because there are FEWER OF THEM and they ALL seem to think "just dropping by" includes ANY TIME OF THE DAY, and they all have radar for when you're nekkid and just out of the iron-stinky shower.), but you can't move here to get away from Teh Stank. (I moved from Seattle to bumblef*ck, Iowa a few years back. I'm leaving soon, thank all things holy and sanitized.)

Jus' sayin'.

I tend to doubt your neighbors are opening a tannery (they used to use dog poop to cure leather in the old days). Yech! They are probably renters, I say see who owns the property & give them a call, as well as the Health Dept.

I hope Francisco doesn't come back and kill your other plants, you may want to check with your landlord and make sure he's not coming back before you get your hopes up for some greenery.

Uccelina is pretty much right - if you call animal control and they happen to take the dogs (it doesn't take much to have that happen) - and they are pits - chances are good they won't be coming back. That may solve the poop issue, but it doesn't help the dogs much. And even if you report it someplace (police, health dept), won't the home owners be able to figure out pretty quickly who reported them? (Since it is right up against your back yard) Exactly how big is this mountain? Could you water blast it back into their yard? Pour some sort of chemical on it to make it disintegrate quickly? I wonder if scoopable litter poured on top would sort of dry it out? Just wondering....

What a nightmare. And it's not even the full-on heat of summer yet. I don't have any new insight or suggestions that haven't already been offered here by 100 other commenters, so all I can say is I hope this gets resolved for you soon, and without incident.

Maybe that guy who printed your letter you wrote to the mayor about traffic has some connections with the right people. Call your city councilperson, too, if that hasn't already been suggested. If they're good, they'll want to earn or keep your vote by helping you out with this situation.

And I thought my neighbors with the dogs-they-never-walk-or-play-with-who-never-stop-barking and the burglar-alarm-that-goes-off-twice-a-week-at-4am were bad....

I avoid neighbors as much as I can considering the woman to the east sleeps with my gardener while the woman across the street is Gladys Kravitz and the woman behind me is loud and evil and won't control her wasp situation so I can't use my pool in the summer and what was I talking about.........
Oh, get some Septo-Bac, mix it with water and spray it on the poop pile and it will break down. It's an enzyme that breaks down sewage and poo and drives the stink away.
This is only if you want to be non-confrontational. I can always provide help from a place of avoidance but getting in their face is best left to a professional who can have them whacked.

Shovel a big load of poo into a paper bag. Carry it to their porch. Set it on fire. Ring the doorbell. When they come out they will scream and yell (WAIT, I forgot the part where you run away first) and stomp on the fire, getting steaming hot poo all over their feet.

Probably won't solve any problems, but it was a funny practical joke I read in a book as a kid, and with all that poo lying around, seems as though you should take advantage.

on an unrelated topic, Cute Overload on April 6th under "Kamo Kitteh" has Frankie's twin! (with offspring- who knew???)

So this would be a good week for me to bring the baby over, right?

I agree with a lot of your readers Laurie, report your neighbours but I agree with you too - make it anonymously. Don't mess with those baaaaad guys!

Laurie,

We had that same problem, call your local animal control. They'll come out and they will issue them an order to clean it up.

And I'm in LA county too.

Oh, how I wish that living out in the country solved all bad neighbor problems!

Last winter I called 911 5 times because the neighbor's uncontrolled dogs were harassing my sheep & goats, who were pregnant at the time. Every time a sheriff would show up, tell me I could shoot the dogs on my property, and leave. What finally solved the problem was going in to the sheriff's office (after the dog charged me!). When he asked if I had talked to the neighbor I told him that the last time I had talked to the guy, he had waved a gun in my face. Sheriff came out that day, and the dogs were gone within 2 days.

I would love to win the lottery and buy this guy out. I can dream, can't I?

Like most, I'd advise not confronting the crazy neighbors. Let the authorities deal with them.

That does stink - literally and figuratively.

Can't help with the dog poo problem - in the UK you 'scoop the poop' or get fined. Our Environmental Health officers also take a dim view on exposed faeces where it can be a statutory nusiance.

However, love the concept of a yard fart!!!

Keep on writin' 'em!

Laurie, I would definitely call your local Animal Control office. I'm sure they would allow you to report anonymously or at least would not tell the yelling neighbors it was you who reported them. That is totally animal cruelty though, having them live in an environment where the feces is never really disposed of. I'm sure that Animal Control could make them clean it up, or fine them until they do.

eew - that's really bad...I dont know how your municipal coucnils work 'over there' but mine here in Aus would certianly have something to say.

Good luck......

Ok - besides the fact that you totally crack me up on a daily basis - and I am also from the South, so I "get" all of the comments you make (Fried Okra! Yeah Baby!)- the only possible thing I can think of is maybe using a high powered water hose in a creative way to blow said "mountain of poo" back where it came from. Doesn't that sound like fun??????

Ok - besides the fact that you totally crack me up on a daily basis - and I am also from the South, so I "get" all of the comments you make (Fried Okra! Yeah Baby!)- the only possible thing I can think of is maybe using a high powered water hose in a creative way to blow said "mountain of poo" back where it came from. Doesn't that sound like fun??????

Well, you know the old saying "you can call anyone, just don't call me'. That is a shitty problem to have *first laugh at self*. Call anyone and everyone. Get the dogs put down. Who cares? Bloody pit bulls *second laugh at self*. Oh damn I just realised that you said in one of your posts how nice Aussies are - LOL....

Another idea - you could gather it and throw it on their roof, but you had better be able to move in a hurry..

Very funny post.

Mia

Laurie-

Rosemary also puts off a terrific smell too and especially when freshly cut and grows very quickly. You can also cook with it too!!

I am sorry to here about your poo issue. I would agree to contact someone at the health department or the city as well.

I have a similar issue at work. It is a non smoking building, so all the smokers line up out front and that is where the ashtray is as well. My office is one of the first, so when the door opens - I get all the smoke. I have bad allergies to pollen and smoke and I am constantly sneezing, I am miserable. When you say something - they all get pissy. So I have started slamming my door. When I come out - I basically tell them that I am going to bring my cats litter box and dump it beside the ashtray. They just look at me and in a pissy manner say - "That's not the same and that would be rude". my response is "What's the difference? They both smell like shi*?. I just use more manners and keep mine to myself!"

It sounde like you neighbors are the typical trash that has no regards to others property. I am sure there is an law somewhere in the books for you!

Thanks so much for your site as I love to read it!

By the way - I am a Laurie too!!

what about calling Animal Care and Control? I think it is really awful of them to horde the poop in a big pile and then make your dogs PLAY NEAR IT -- it is also a rat risk because rats eat dog feces for the protein.

oops i meant to write --- make THEIR dogs play near it. I am fully aware you are a cat mama and not a dog mama but had a brain freeze while typing (do you blame me? it's april and snowing in chicago!!)

I only made it through about 30 comments, so if someone else already said this, my apologies for repition!

Get a big bag of LIME (not limes the fruit, but the white powdery stuff for sprinkling on soil to change the ph), then fling and/or sprinkle some of it over the poo mountain every few days. It will help dry out the surface very quickly and make it break-down into less odiferous substance. It's what was used in "the old days" in outhouses.

Good luck lovey!
Mary

go to garden center and by a big bag of garden lime (white powder--20lbs should be $3 to $5 bucks.
pour lime on poo.

it will help. (and actually turn it into not bad fertilizer--fast!) the run off (when you get rain will be good for garden.
it will also help to disinfect that stuff.

De-lurking! I used to comment lots but somehow stopped. So, with Mt Poopmore:
Call some authority. DO NOT mess with the Bad People yourself.

Also; We in Melbourne, Australia would be glad to see you any time you decide to make it down here. We will talk at you in our accents. Promise!

Oh, no! Not pit bulls!! Jeeeez, pit bulls are always getting mis-represented. It's not the dogs but the dang humans who are the problem. Your neighbors are obviously asses.

My advice is to man up, and knock on their door. If it continues to be a problem, call the board of health [won't they know if was you that called anyway, or is the 'poop area' shared by other neighbors as well?]. Do you think it is warrented for their dogs to be taken away from them [all annoying barking aside]? It's a possibility if you call Animal Control and in most states there is an abundance of pit bulls and other terriers living in the shelters and being put down because they are not getting adopted [usually due to their reputation]. Sorry for the rant. And bad grammer [I'm tired].

Good luck, Laurie!! I hope they straighten their shit up! heh heh

First, call animal control -- those people are gross.

Then, go to petsmart and buy and buy the DOOGIE DOOLEY enzymes (it comes in a tub and it is next to the dog potty training pads). It is made to reduce the dog waste to ground absorbing liquid. Read the directions on the container, sprinkle the enzymes on the poop, add water, and they should break down and go away. I use this system for my three dogs in a tiny TINY backyard right next to 5 other backyards -- no smell, no complaints.

Sure hope this helps -- it is a way of solving the problem without confronting anyone.

Actually, Laurie, dog and cat poo needs to be disposed of properly. You shouldn't use it for fertilizer or put it in your compost-- you and I do the best thing possible with our cat poo by putting it down the toilet.

Lucky for you, you live in America, where there is ASPCA and people who care about animals. In Japan, I had the neighbour's kittens constantly on my veranda meowing at me. Poo EVERYWHERE, but luckily just on her veranda ('til I ended up feeding the persistant cat, and then there was poop on my veranda. Yum!). The smell was horrendous. The story gets really sad, but there's a happy ending for three: two cats got new homes, and my neighbour is gone (woo!). You just have to find the right people who care...

But poo in a pile with it wafting into your yard is not cool. And it's definitely not sanitary. Maybe your city has a policy for toxic waste?

why don't you locate a pot plant and throw in their yard, surely it would take root - then inform the police - a sure way to get rid of the neighbors and their dogs

Well...this is a problem. My concern would be for the health of the children that live there.

Hi Laurie,
Long time reader, first time poster. I feel your pain. You’ve gotten plenty of feedback on solving the poop dilemma but just wanted to share how I solved a crazy neighbor situation. I live in a very nice neighborhood in S. Fla, mostly full of professionals. The neighbors that moved in behind us apparently were able to purchase their home from a windfall left by a relative (neighborhood gossip). It didn’t take long for music to start blaring from 11:00pm to 4:00am (mostly on weekdays). Then drunken fights would ensue between the parents and their three teenage children. I could hear them clearly in my house even with the windows closed and the air conditioning running.

I was soon on a first name basis with the local police. At one point, the husband threatened the cop for walking onto his property. Long story short, they were fined on numerous occasions, but nothing changed. I was at my wits end and resorted to hanging a “Bagua” on my back patio facing their property. My husband thought I was crazy, but after a year of this nonsense I would’ve tried anything. If someone would’ve told me to run around the yard nekkid, slathered in Crisco while carrying a chicken on my head, I would’ve done it. In less than a month, the music stopped, the oldest kid moved out and now the wife even comes over to the back fence to say hello to us. The mirror has been up for over 2 yrs now and guess what, they’re selling their house and moving. I LOVES my Bagua!!

I say you make a ginormous pile of urinal cakes directly across from the poo pile and see if they get it. It turns out that urinal cakes might smell worse than poo but to hammer the point home to them, I also suggest sticking a fan in front of the pile to waft the smell across their way. When they complain tell them, "oh well, I'm sorry I just thought my cats must be using this area for a toilet or didn't you smell it? I wanted to spare you the horrendous odor, hence the urinal cakes." They will likely think you are crazy and thus will be too scared to retaliate and they will clean up the mess and tell you "I think the cats have stopped using this area because I don't smell anything anymore" to get you to get rid of the urinal cakes.

Oh course, I have been known to war with (previous) neighbors on occasion, if justice (and the city health code) are on my side...

I have just now toned down the laughing to the point that I can type. My dad had a similar poo-piling neighbor when he was a teenager. He scooped up a good portion of the offending material and put it in a paper grocery bag. Here comes the good part - then he put the bag on the neighbor's porch, lit it on fire and ran home.

What do you do when you spot a small burning bag on your front porch? Stomp on it to extinguish it, of course!

Everytime the yelling people are in the yard, set up a box fan so that they can enjoy the poop smell!

You need to do something. You're smart. You'll figure out which authorities to call, even if you have to go through several people.

But you need to do something. People who recommend just sitting and hoping your neighbors will stop being buttheads or move away aren't helping anything. People say don't call animal control or the ASPCA b/c they will take the animals away. Why not? They aren't being cared for properly. People who have pit bulls that are mean are not being good owners and deserve to have their animals taken away. They have purposely trained those pit bulls to be mean by neglect or whatever. If they have a poop pile, they are seriously fucked up and need to be dealt with.

If any authority asks you if you spoke to them, lie. Tell them yes. If they ask for your name, don't give it. Tell them you are afraid of your neighbors and don't want them to know. Stick to your guns. Or give 'em a fake name or something.

Although...there's always a chance they're gonna know anyway, b/c how many of their neighbors are gonna be close enough to notice their mountain of poop.

But don't let that stop you. I have some neighbors who love to have screaming fights at two in the morning. I tell the landlord. They quieted down for a couple weeks, but then they started up again. I tell the landlord. We have no leases here, so if they can't straighten up, they might just have to move out.

People are assholes, jerks, insane, mean, etc. What I hate is for nice people to back down and let them walk all over us. A lot of the "new agers" convince us that we need to "let things go," and not let things bother us. But that advice is for people who already know how to be assertive and get what they want. Their problem is that they often want every little thing to be the way they want it. And the advice to not sweat the small stuff is for them. For people who don't like to confront others and back down at every opportunity out of fear, that advice is not for them. The advice is to keep calling authorities, do SOMETHING (even a poop fire is something). Don't take this lying down. You're a citizen, and you have rights. You shouldn't have to put up with the psycho behavior of those weirdos.

Are your neighbors also renting, or do they own? If they rent, then you have another person whom to call...their landlord.

Good luck. Don't put yourself in harm's way, but don't back down. Find a way to fix this problem. Us nice people to start pulling a "no more Mr. Nice Guy" on all the assholes.

Please don't cower away from taking action because of fear of retaliation or whatnot. Lots of folks have chimed in with suggestions of resources to use in getting 'justice' in this situation. Please leverage every single one of them, including your own landlord, Code Enforcement, and the animal (and child, sounds like?) protective services.

The situation you've described is simply unacceptable, no matter how crazy/scary they are.

GRRRRRR,
Christy

Amazingly enough, we had this problem when we lived on Vactican Road in Carencro... neighbor happened to think dog poop was acceptable all raked up in a pile next to the fence because "it's the country". The 'Cro is definitely country, but good lord! The horses in the pasture across the street didn't smell that bad! What the hell were they feeding those poor dogs?

Note: same neighbor also thought running the sewage line from the house to the ditch was also acceptable for the same reason. Seriously. Some people's children.

Hey Laurie,

You've had a lot of very good advice on all of these posts (here's some more to read, sorry). Granted, my previous post hinted at explosives being used to deal with the problem; I'm hoping I didn't freak everyone out. I was joking.

Anyhow. I did work in Security for several years and I would encourage you to contact the authorities that you deem appropriate, to help you in dealing with this.

DON'T LIE TO THEM, though. I've seen this tactic backfire horribly. Simply state the truth. If you're a single woman living next to a group of people (I hesitate using the term "Family") with two aggressive pitbulls, They should be fully understanding of the situation. If they try to encourage you to go and talk to them first, relate the info about the Power and Water workers situation with you neighbours. That will likely encourage them to take the task on without wanting you to go and confront them.

As I said before: "We're rooting for you in the Great White North"!

Admit it, though. The idea of a pile of poo exploding on their house was temping; even if just for a moment. ;)

My gardeners have been missing since December. I think they may have been taken away in an ICE raid. I don't know if those are going on in SOCAL but in NOCAL families are being targeted, separated and returned to Mexico daily. I hope they are okay wherever they are, they were nice guys and took very good care of our yard. I hope Francisco is okay too.

I about died @ YARD FARTS!

Yard. Farts. The new SoCal phenomenon.

You definitely need to call the dept. of health or animal control to get them to clean up the mess, but since the smell won't go away for awhile even when the mess is gone, plant a bunch of tomato vines along that fence. NOTHING kills smells like tomato plants -- they were traditionally planted around privies for just that reason.

Maybe throw a bunch of earthworms into/onto the dogpile. They will turn it into dirt/soil in short order.

Before the earth worms spray it with some water and maybe some of it will go into the ground. Aim it so bits of the pooh hit something they like, then nonchallantly tell them, opps, just watering the okra and basking in the ambience.

Living in the country doesn't always help. We have 15 acres in the country and still have stupid people next door. They have a pit bull that isn't trained, is aggressive and keeps breaking it's cheap chain and coming over here. So we hear our dogs barking at night because the neighbor kids are out in the dark wandering around our yard trying to coax their dog to come back to them. It just about bit my daughter tonight, so I guess this time I'll have to call animal control. I hate to do that for the reasons you mentioned, but it's to the point where someone could get hurt. Hope you find a good solution to the poop problem.

Hiya Laurie,

Long time reader, few time commenter. You have received a ton of advice and I've read them all. My two cents, if you do confront your neighbor, and then have to follow through with an anonymous call to the authorities in effect, it would no longer be "anonymous," in my opinion. But you knew that already.

On a side note...You crack me up all the time, I love reading your blog and I love your writing style.

My point…after having borrowed one of my favorite books for a year or 3, my aunt finally returned it to me and I reread it a few days ago. While reading it, everything seemed so familiar to me, but not in the same way rereading a book for the billionth time normally feels. Then it hit me!! The book reminds me of YOU!! I don't know if it is the writing style, the diary format, the lead character, or the way it makes me laugh out loud, but I thought of you throughout the book. Since this is the only book I have read by this author, I don't even know her "writing style." Anyhoo… Since it made me think of you and I know you enjoy reading…try it, you might like it, Hey Mikey! (Sorry damn commercials!) It is called "The Corset Diaries" and is written by Katie MacAllister. It is filled with any number of off the wall things such as: steamy bedroom scenes (can’t beat those,) a "skinny challenged" lead character (could stand to see more of those,) who lives in LA, it is set in present day but also 1879 (have to read it-best of both worlds,) gay men, artificial limbs, gastric eruptions, PMS, womanly parts jumping, clothes that don't fit, returning to the land of the living after something devastating happens to a marriage, hypochondriacs, learning to live without fear, poltergeists and many more. Hey again, like you! At times I literally have to set the book down to finish laughing and wipe my tears. Even KNOWING what is going to happen, WHEN they are coming AND reading it for the billionth time! (I am mildly e