How is your handwriting? When I leave myself notes they are often hysterical because I can't even decipher my own handwriting and have to make something up.

Heh, look at me being first :)

Is that a stop sign for horses? Or for surfer dudes?

Laurie -

Every day I look to see what pearls of wisdom or humor you will share with us - and always - you make all of us smile - or make us think with your thought provoking writings. You are in the land of Undies-a-plenty now - so you are good to go! Thanks for sharing in your "out loud voice!"

Sue

TrapperKeeper!

Mrs. Robinson WAS sexy.

Rite Aid panties? Girl, please.

e -- you inspired me. So I took a picture of part of my notebook. Maybe I meant "guy at bug stop" instead of bus stop? I can't read my writing half the time, either.

This is so funny I laughed through choking on some water. Didn't realize it was possible to do that until now! "Look near cat." Priceless!

ummm...what the heck are octopus arms? Did he have more than 2? Were there suckers?

you can get panties at rite aid? i'm off!

love your notebook musings.

Eggsalent idea - write down thoughts. Hmm. Mebbe then I could remember them? Or, I can be like one of those self-important CAA Satan Worshippers in the Death Star building by Fat Cat Law Firm and dictate - "Note to Self: tell the Jman to clean out the litter box."

I always did wonder who purchases undies (and socks!) from Rite Aid.

Awww - the world panty title is soon to be yours! We are so very proud of our friend CAP.

I'm kinda glad my childhood notebooks have gone MIA (They're not really MIA we all know mom saw them, thought WTF?, and threw them away - not a drop of sentimentality in that woman. Guess thats why I keep everything I've got it all)
Anyway - I'm kinda glad my childhood journals & notebooks and diaries are gone - some of that stuff would cause my face to redden for years. WHOO BOY did I have an imagination...

Bossy got chills at your mention of a TrapperKeeper. That's like porn for us wordy types.

I've been reading your blog for a while now, but usually don't comment 'cause I'm a wallflower like that. I have to tell you, however, that you and Yarn Harlot are my two favorite feeds, and the two I look forward to the most. You make me giggle/laugh hysterically with almost every post. And the ones that don't make me laugh usually make me go "aww" in one tone or another.

Keep it up.. I have a feeling I'm going to be a lot like you when I get older. :) I look forward to it.

Also.. your story about chitchat and sex and coffee inspired my current idle away message on AIM. You're internet-famous. :D

I had agreed to a much-postponed and oft-dreaded lunch date with a former co-worker and finally the day arrived that I could postpone it no longer. I agreed to go because of blah blah blah. He was very very hands-on. On a lunch date, near my JOB for goodness sakes, and in daylight, and we barely know each other, and THE HANDS were everywhere.

I cannot speak of it again... PTSD returning....

Thanks Shae! But you don't want to grow up to be like me... I am a cautionary tale... LOL

TRAPPERKEEPERS ruled.

Actually I read the note as "the time I saw the gun at the bus stop," and if it were a bug stop instead, I think it'd make the story that much more interesting. Poetic license rocks!

Trapperkeepers RULE!

Love the picture and LOVE the sign! I used to write everything down until it became impossible to read my own writing, even when neatly printed. Now I just keep lists ...

Please, please write a book! You are hilarious and I look forward to your blog posts!

Um, not that you aren't already busy...

Oh Trapperkeepers! Do they still have those? I should get one of those, You should get one and then you could organize your thoughts in it, You know 'things near cat' , 're', 'guys at bus stops', 'pickles'. All nice and orderly. :)

Awww, cute family picture. Hey, at least you write stuff down. It's better than having random thoughts then forgetting them immediately and wondering for the rest of the day (week, month) what the hell important thing I was supposed to remember. I've started carrying a notebook myself. Mmmm gravy

JuLaurie, you could copy the phone book into your blog and somehow it would become hysterically funny.

I feel old - I don't know what a trapperkeeper is. But the last thing I wrote in my little moleskine (that my therapist gave me!) says -

"between a rock and another rock"

It must have been a bad day.

Regarding the guy at the bus stop, perhaps you "sawthe" him, a new and astounding verb?

Ahh, yes, the time I sawthe my acquaintance Guy at the bus stop. He loved it and asked me to do it again.

Omigod, the TrapperKeeper with the Unicorn on it was a MUST HAVE!

I can't even imagine what a notebook of my random thoughts would look like. Wait, actually I can... my handwriting is totally illegible so I'm sure it would look like someone gave a pen and notebook to the monkeys at the zoo.

Whoa, indeed!

Here's hoping that April is a bit calmer at work and less lunch groping ensues, but still fun!

That list made me so happy - aside from the nasty Octopus Man who clearly needed to be tazed.

I can write nice if I want to...but I rarely want to. I just dash things off like I'm in an all-fired hurry all the time. Is that how you write? Cuz I could barely read your handwriting, heehee!

Love the pic! The sign AND the family!

1. That's a great picture of you & the fam!

2. Totally understand about the PTDT about octopus-man. I've been on that same date (though I hope it wasn't the same octopus-man). I still can't talk about it.

3. What is it about registration tags that we can't just put them on the car when we get them? Mine sit IN THE CAR for at least a month before I put them ON THE CAR? This has been going on for years. I can't explain it.

"My parents used to carry me up to the Woolworth's"

I have always loved that expression'to carry' someone somewhere. I first remember noticing it being used when I lived in Nashville. I think it's an awesome expression.

Glad to see you use it.

My maiden name was Robinson, so all the guys wanted to meet my mom because she was "Mrs. Robinson." I think she hated that movie. +

Wow, I didn't know your dad was so tall!

I have been writing down little snippits of funny conversations as they happen forever, But I don't have a notebook, usually it's on a scrap of paper or a matchbook or a coaster or a newspaper. Often I do this without noticing, like a doodle while my brain is following the rest of the conversation.
Lately though, my friends have started to suggest that I "write that one down!".
I attribute their enthusiasm for my habit to the priceless reminders we now have of our new favorite Friday morning activity.... $7.95 all you can drink mimosas at the Harbor cafe.
Anyone coming up to Santa Cruz on a Friday - especially with the weather we've been having - you have gotta do it.
Sit outside and people watch (bring sunscreen). I'll be the one scribbling and giggling with the growing group of happy regulars ;)

I must have been born pre-trapperkeeper. Here's the site in case you're like me and didn't know what I missed. In 3-D!
http://trapperkeeper.com/

Ditto what Mary in Boston said. I love hearing you say familiar expressions.

Btw, is it just a Texas thing or does the rest of the South say "like" for "lack"? As in, when someone asks how much you have left to do and they say, "How much do you like?"

heh...my writing is just as bad!

writing it down really is good. my phone alarm went off this morning for something I was supposed to remember. And I have no idea what that was. and I just set that alarm *yesterday*... so um, it's not just you. fwiw.

Rite Aid has panties?

I think I just spewed my tuna fish sandwich out through my nose from laughing so hard; "near the cat!"

precious!!!

Hold out for the "major deal" ($500k+) for a book Laurie, you will get it; if GreekTragedy can get that much, you can get it for sure (you are waaay better writer, waay better stories, and you are real.)

I take the the undies are in the misc section of the CAP budget spreadsheet? Lord girl! Why not just rinse 'em out every week and avoid the expense. (getting a picture of the feared Sobakawa running amok through panties over the shower curtain rod....)

Remind your boss to give you Good Friday off so you can dye wool with Easter egg dyes and sample the Easter basket chocolate.

Hooray for writing with pen and paper! I love the world of the internet, but sometimes we just need to write it down--on the bus, on the street, where ever we are. It's so funny to see that other people make observations and write seemingly important-at-the-time and totally mysterious notes such as "Remind Boss re: Good Friday".

Thanks for sharing the sampling of your notebook. It's all part of the process!

Sure hope you didn't get the same check-out clerk at Rite-aid every time.

"What is that woman doing that she keeps on needin' to buy more panties all this week?"

And the 'near the cat' thing almost made me spew. Thanks.

I've done the RiteAid panty thing...and pantihose too...
Anne Bancroft was Mrs. Robinson and she was very beautiful and in real life, she was only 6 years older than Dustin Hoffman. She was married to Mel Brooks.

This post makes me want to send you a Moleskine pocket notebook or two. Bestest things ever for taking notes! (I carry one with me constantly.)

Hysterical! I just stumbled in here -- but thanks for a much needed laugh!

And ... just be grateful you can still decipher your handwriting. Most times I can't even read what I wrote!

I've seen worse handwriting than that.

Mrs. Robinson was very hot. We should all hope to exude like her!

And Purly girl...what a wonderful brain you have! No wonder neighbors are handing you cake!

That notebook looks suspiciously like the ones my SO has laying around.

If you knew him, you'd know how scary that is.

I can't even tell you how many of those notebooks he has filled [and yes, he got his little self a Trapperkeeper for the REALLY important stuff]and 'filed' away in his filing cabinet.

Once he got desperate and took one of my composition notebooks, although he has stated that he is horribly unhappy with its performance.

I have no idea what that means.

Now I need to open a new box of fine wine and drink myself silly.

If anyone ever comes across a Hello Kitty TrapperKeeper, pls let me know! I want one.

I leave Post-Its for myself, but I usually have no idea whatsoever the Post-It message from me to me means. Sad.

Holy Moly, Laurie! That was too funny. My whole life is like that with kids, work, school, poorly oxygenated blood and all. I don't know if I would laugh or cry if I wrote it all down.

Thanks for passing that all along. I am laughing and not in a bad way.

Oh my god, your notes made me write myself a note: "Next time in TX Hill Country Cafe (gravy over everything!)" Let's just hope I can still read it and remember it by my autumn trip back home.

I LOVE your blog. On the worstest of days (reviewing 253 resumes) you can still make me laugh. Of course, some of the resumes do too.

Being carded when buying wine is a good thing! Unless they want to see if you are eligable for the senior discount!!!

Sounds like a memorable March to me! And now you're stocked on panties...

So it's "to the innernet" now, hmmm? You were telling the truth when you said you needed to stop calling it the "internets".

Pamela, we always have a good mix of innernet and internets around here. One time there was also a Kniternet, thanks to Uccelina :)

LOVE that sign! And you and your parents are darn cute :)

I am jealous of you because I cannot seem to write ANYTHING down. Then when it comes time to remember I'm screwed. Well, OK actually I DO write stuff down but erm... everything is on a Post-it™ Note. I have this terrible Post-it™ habit! I have an entire desk covered in these things!

Too bad you weren't able to remember what it was about "The guy at the bus stop"! I'm sure if you remembered and posted something about it, it would be an absolute riot to read!

Happy Hump Day!

The "Pee-Chee" was our staple for back to school, you 'member.
http://www.creativepro.com/story/feature/21870.html

My son asked me why girl have better handwriting then boys and I told him it is because we practice. I used to love to write the alphabet over and over in my prettiest cursive handwriting. He laughed and said, "I knew it, I knew you girls practiced".

ROFLMAO! Doncha just hate it when you cannot read your own handwriting? And Rite Aid Panties?! my word. I remember the days when I had to go to a laundromat to do laundry. I think I had 30 pairs of undies at one point too.

Thanks for the giggles girlfriend!

i thought that said the time i saw the gun at the bus stop - i was thinking that you should never go to that bus stop again....

Yes, Psychomom! Pee-Chees! Thanks for the memories.

I hate when I can't read my own writing. There's no one else to blame!
Were the papers near the cat?
People that are too young to remember Trapper Keepers depress me.

Mmm, gravy-covered pickle!

"Look near cat" cracked me up! Do you have a certain cat that hasn't moved for two weeks, or something? My Grace does that on occasion. Just hunkers down on one particular couch cushion, 22 hours a day every day for two weeks, and next thing I know there's a Grace-shaped dent in that cushion.

Mrs. Robinson was hot, but not very nice. Dustin Hoffman was totally hot, and still is. :)

OMG, "look near the cat..." *wiping tears away* I needed that laugh!

Laurie, I LOVE YOU! seriously, darling you are a gem.

You even made my husband laugh!!!

Can I participilate with you?

Grammarqueenly comment: If you splice a comma, it will run-on, no matter whether anyone reads the sentence or not. Why? Because I say so!

I wish I wrote more stuff down too. The only thing I seem to write down are phone numbers. The problem is, I never write down the name the number belongs to so I wind up with random phone numbers on pieces of paper filling up my desk drawers and purse. And no, they are not numbers belonging to cute eligible men.

To the commenter who asked if all Southerners say "like" for "lack", I am a Georgia native and I don't think I say that, but there are a lot of things I don't think I say with a Southern accent and then some Yank will tell me otherwise. I do, however, say "fixin" instead of "about to" (i.e., I'm fixin to go to the store, y'all want anything?)

Awwww....I remember the Trapper Keeper! Mine was blue with a rainbow picture on it. And it was COVERED in stickers (of the scratch n' sniff and puffy variety)

I learned to write in my Big Chief tablet:

http://www.the5and10.com/index.cfm/CategoryID/45

And I carry a notebook with me at all times too...and make just as many random and "what?" notes as well!

Hilarious notes! You made me wonder about commercials on cable....I have no answer, though.

I always carry a notebook in my purse and a pen. Old journalist's habit. I am the safest person to be on a plane with, because if it crashed and I lived to write about it, I would win some kind of journalism prize so of course the plane will never crash.

But it does come in handy. Now if I could just remember to check what I wrote in it from time to time.

I remember wanting a Trapperkeeper when I was in school, but they were the expensive ones, so I had to make do with the cheaper notebooks. Although one year my Dad did buy plain denim notebooks and painted the Pink Pather on them for us kids. That was very cool.

Octopuss arms - UGH.

I am a resturant server. There are times I write a ticket for the meal and then a mere 5 nano seconds later in the order window, I can not read my own handwriting to enter the order??

So, don't feel bad.

I love the randomness of notes left to myself. Well, or to you, apparently. Could it possibly have been "Look near car?" No? OK...

My boss at my last job joked that if he took away my notebooks, he didn't think I could work. Mind you that I write stuff down in meetings and rarely look at it again since I usually have a memory like a steel trap (unless I don't WANT to remember something - in which case I can change the details to suit myself). I have at least 2 spiral notebooks at work (filled with words that now have little meaning).

I have random papers with notes on them all over my house, and post-it notes, and have 2 spiral notebooks at home containing anything from a grocery list (that I probably never used for shopping), to phone numbers without associated names - (should one call a randomly written phone number just to see who it is???), to reminders or who knows what, to personal notes (like - businesses to consider opening: home improvement consultant, personal buyer of major items (since I am known for getting the best negotiated deals on the planet and do lots of research before investing in something expensive), personal shoe consultant (get tons of compliments on my lovely shoe collection), yarn shop owner, knitwear designer). Note that most of these either are not things people have ever considered paying someone to do for them and that I like having the steady income of a regular job (though I have never taken pictures of my knitted creations in the office bathroom mirror).

I was with you until 'gravy covered pickle'. Do tell!
As to notebooks - I confess to "be doin' that", and I always felt that many, if not all, people did so. Well, here I am with all of these notebooks,(and other mementos, if you'd care to hear about them) and I'm thinking. Who would give a hoot to hear all of this personal info? And then, along came the MySpace, YouTube, Wikipedia, Citizenpedia (I may have misspelled that) And now, I'm afraid to bare my innermost feelings because . . . ??? IDeas?

I am always writing stuff down and often can't remember which notebook I wrote it in! I have travel books, work books, conference books and then the random scraps of paper everywhere...and odd notes on my calendars!

Love the Whoa sign! Must be a cowboy crossing!!

I swear to heaven the following is a true story: my husband once called me at work to demand WHERE DID I PUT HIS ACCESS CARD because he NEEDED it and I could just forget about claiming not to know because it was in his pants and he had seen me handling them (I think I had to move them off my side of the bed). I maintained my innocence until he hung up in disgust.

Five minutes later he called me back, extremely chagrined, to tell me he had found the card under a cat.

So you see, "look near cat" might not be such bad advice.

Thank you for the most excellent laugh.

I don't know if this was pre-fall or all the time, and I can't remember if it was Wal-mart or Target, but I got a pack of 10 notebooks for $1, because I am always randomly writing down but can never be organized enough to keep things in one place (ergo 10 notebooks), and also have aspirations to keep track of my diet, books I've read, etc., but you know, good luck with THAT. But, meanwhile, one dollar! You are so much better than me with the making of lists, so I thought you should know. About the notebooks.

I had the Trapper Keeper with kitty cats. Little fuzzy grey kitten ones.

Not that I have ever needed to use this [*ahem*] but some folks here may find this link useful:

http://www.whitepages.com/10001/reverse_phone

If the unidentified phone number isn't a cell phone, plugging the number in here may help you figure out who owns that damned number you wrote down.

YOWZAH! I have lots of little notebooks too - started when my teacher (3rd grade? 1951?)said "always carry a notebook and pencil in case you get hit by a truck so you can write down the license number." Made sense to me at the time. Then I carried one to write down quotes I heard on the bus, &c to use as calligraphy practice. (I taught it.) Now I write things down in little random notebooks and can't find them again. I have one with "story ideas" (I write children's stories - without a CLUE how to try to get published.) I collect parentheses too (can you tell?). I always took notes during meetings at work - in RUNES! Saying things like "that @#)$#@) is a real piece of @#$)@#". Very cathartic for a passive-aggressive. And I have a confession to make: Hi,I'm Dale-Harriet and I'm Addicted to School Supplies. I buy myself new notebooks, pens, pencils &c every September. LOVE 'em! And now you've inspired me to take up scribbling again. THANK YOU LOTS, Dearling!

Maybe you meant near the cat tree or cat food or cat bed or catalogs? Hope you found your tags!

I was in a restaurant in New York which had a sign in the bathroom:

Employees must wash hands before returning to work
Empleados tienen que lavarse las manos antes de trabajar

Please, no smoking in the bathroom
Deja de jugar con su mono.

(Note that the last sentence does not, in fact translate to "Please, no smoking in the bathroom". It means "stop playing with your monkey.")

I was reminded of this by your mexican restaurant sign

I went to a movie with 3 friends who are all younger than I am, and we went for a drink first and the guy carded them but not me - it IS pretty obvious that I am well over 21 BUT. I just said to him, yeah, I am their mom.

I like your notes. You could do more posts of your notes. Your notes might even make a good book. :)

I'm always finding my remote under that cat.

I went to a movie with 3 friends who are all younger than I am, and we went for a drink first and the guy carded them but not me - it IS pretty obvious that I am well over 21 BUT. I just said to him, yeah, I am their mom.

I like your notes. You could do more posts of your notes. Your notes might even make a good book. :)

I'm always finding my remote under that cat.

Your handwriting is perfectly legible. Of course, I AM a pharmacist...

My Aunt gave me some sage advice about dating, I was about 8 years old at the time and she was this little old sweet lady. I nearly fell over when she said if a man is pawing you, take your hat pin and give him a nice quick jab, he will leave you alone. Hat pin? Can you tell what era she was from? The high heel works wonders as well, just twist it into a nice instep and say, er excuse me, what did I just step on? Like you didn't know and since you are Southern dear girl, use that sugary sweet accent when you ask it! He should get the hint. If not, he is obviously not too smart anyway.
On another note, why do some men bathe in their cologne and it is never the good stuff, it is always the vile cheap stuff. I guess since he couldn't knock you dead with his personality, he was trying to do it with his cologne! sigh!

Laurie, this is why we love you...we get to laugh so much in one post! And where did you find a stop sign with "whoah"?

I've managed not to lose my childhood notebooks. Some I kept, some I edited, and some I burned. There is NOTHING so dramatic as a fifteen year old girl! I still write things down, then hide them from my husband... He's nosy. Also, my dad went through this repellent "bachelor" phase for a few years, and ended up with no lie---247 pairs of socks!!! Garbage bags and DRIFTS of socks... My sister had to break in and steal them to launder them.

OK, your comment, "the time I saw the guy at the bus stop..."

Was he exposing himself? This reminded me of something that happened to a friend. At... somewhere... A guy exposed himself to her and asked friend if she's ever seen anything like that before. She looked, thought about it and replied, " Why yes! It looks like a penis, only smaller."

Another time, we were at a bar and 2 gentlemen (?) came up and said, "Hi, we're new in town. Do you know any good places to go?" My friend slowly looked them up and down and replied, "Yes, the other side of the bar is fine with me."

Good times!

Mrs Robinson was definitely sexy.

OMG.. I LOVE that sign! I must have one!!! Now where the hell do you GET a sign that says Whoa????

Hah, I have loads of those notebooks and I keep thinking I'd better shred them all before I die and other people find them. Also a drawer full of little torn off bits of paper with random "brilliant" ideas that, like you, in the cold light of day I have no idea the meaning of. I still have a Trapperkeeper, too. They are banned at my kids' schools (why??). Coincidentally, the boys made me watch an episode of "South Park" last night entitled "Trapperkeeper." Now 'scuse me while I go misplace some modifiers and eat a gravy-covered pickle.

I just love your blog! You're a very funny (ha ha, not peculiar) woman. I have loads of notebooks and keep buying more because I lose them so frequently. When sorting out our spare room a few months back, I found about 10. Must get in the habit of keeping it in my handbag. Your handwriting is fine - nowhere near Doctor levels of badness.

See, if my hands weren't on the steering wheel, maybe I'd be able to remember my thoughts too.

Gravy-covered pickles? *shudder*

Look near the cat just cracked me up totally. Thanks for the laugh this morning. And by the way, getting me to laugh before 9 a.m. is amazing! (NOT a morning person... why does it have to be so bright?)

"Look near the cat." That's priceless. Thanks for the laugh. Also, thank you for helping me to see that I'm not the only one whose mind has random, bizarre thoughts like this. P.S. This is my first comment, I'm coming out of lurkdom finally. I have loved your blog for some time now though, and will start commenting more :)

Laurie, this posts has confirmed it: you're the Bridget Jones of Knitblogging! I absolutely loved reading your snippets and notes; thanks for sharing them. I am also impressed to find that you remember Woolworth's (I have no idea why I thought that it was a Commonwealth-only chain, but still), and that I'm not the only person in the world who thinks fondly upon shopping for notebooks :)

Hon, I'm here to help (and I mean this in the best possible way. After all, I am a Texan...) There is a known connection between visible panty lines and panties from Rite Aid.
And if your dear sweet mama ever falls off the face of the earth, please for the love of gravy hook me up with your dad. And his motor home. I always wanted children. You'd be perfect. We could share stashes.

sitting in Bed not on Floor, so... ROBLMAO
luvd the trapperkeepers, except at the end of the school year the edges would be sharp and hurty.

ever kept your notes when you were listening to a college lecture while falling asleep? and then start dreaming and write random letters in rang ndgdom yeeorder eriuy gtnndrool line swizzle swizzle drool zzzzzzzzz

Gawd I remember you used to be like the totally coolest when you had a TRAPPER KEEPER! How funny is that, something like that from your childhood, made me laugh out loud. How about those peachie folders of what ever they were called that had all the people playing sports on them.....

I can't imagine why I didn't think to share this with you yesterday, Laurie, but this pattern is just waiting for you and your modifications!

http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwinecozy.html

I also have a bottle of very bad Virginia white zinfandel I received for Christmas. It would be a completely inexcuseable gift, except that it is wearing a wee sweater and hat combo! I have no idea who made them (certainly not the cousin who gave me the gift), but hot damn, are they cute. I may have to invest some time into figuring that out before next gifting season.

New-ish lurker, first-time commenter.

Forgive me if someone else already mentioned this, but:

Mrs. Robinson was so sexy that once, Anne Bancroft, who played her, was in a restaurant in Italy, and someone said to the table full of college boys nearby, "That woman is Mrs. Robinson," only in Italian, of course, and said college boys swarmed over to her table and started kissing her hands and feet.

Hey, maybe you should go to Italy. ;)