If you got any hotter purl...my internets would start on fire!

But we need to know....what would your answer be if a child of your's happened to ask the same question?

Oh my God. I can't stop laughing!

I think it's important not to look back on our teenage fashion choices (or hair do's) with too much judgement. We did the best we could with our limited experience, and after all, everyone has those pictures. Also it helps never to look at them, and to deny their very existence.

P.S. I see no shame in your outfit. You look hot, lady! For 1989 and all.

Hilarious! And, you don't need an explanation for that outfit. If you could see the leg warmers and tights you were also wearing, you'd remember you were still rocking the Flashdance, aka "Maniac On The Floor" look. Done and done.

One of my favorite episodes of "Sex in the City" is when Carrie is in bed with Mr. Big and she passes gas. Yet another hilarious post.

you were the hotness! Remember that what you were wearing is all the rage now with the youngins. the "boy with the hair do", now, I am not too sure about. :)

You are hysterical. My bunch would fall over crying with laughter at anyone saying the word "fart"! "Fart humor" is big with them.

As far as your outfit, whaddaya want? It was the eighties!

Speaking as a mom, you look like my idea of a dream teen. You look clean and well-groomed. You do not appear to have indulged in any substances that are illegal or for which you were at the time underage. You weren't preggers and you have a lovely, unsurly expression on your face. All of this adds up to Ideal Teen in my book.

my boyfriend of that era also had "that hairdo"! Kind of a "Euro" look, no? (fits with the Hard Rock Cafe London tshirt)

I'm really glad that I made it through the 80s BEFORE I entered high school.

What advice WOULD you give a young lady these days about farting in bed with the hubby? I personally would explode if I didn't let them rip, as would the fella... I'm surprised our bedroom hasn't spontaneously combusted! Our rule: "Just don't lift the covers and lie real still until it goes away!" (Not a tip I learned from my mother! haha)

Okay...okay. I really will stop laughing soon. Oh my LORD, woman, you are hilarious! I think the funniest part is that my mother also never uses the word "fart," so her responses would have been extremely similar, had I asked such questions. And they are very important questions...sadly I had to figure out about flapping the bedcovers all by myself.

Ah, Jane: This is why I have cats, not kids ;)

In my family, we didn't have bodily funtions. The were never mentioned. EVER. You are so wonderfully funny and honest. I am waiting for the book.

The sad part is, I think your outfit's kind of cute. But I always did like the off-the-shoulder part of the 80s.

Also? I fart in bed and then giggle mischievously about it. If it stinks, I blame it on one of the cats. Even if they're not in the room.

"She's a maniac, maniac on the floor".

Sorry I couldn't resist. Me and my son were dancing the 'Flashdance' dance in the kitchen just the other day. Were you spying?

I want to know, how do you walk out of the room without it slipping out?

psychomom: I think we should get my mom on the phone and ask her that!! LOL. She would likely hang up on me ;)

I am from the same kind of family as Ginne... we had no bodily functions. Ever. hehehehe

All right, what is going on at Laurie's house??? Did you get a box of stuff from your parents? Is this the result of unearthing your office? Where are these subjects/pictures coming from???

And are there more?

THANK YOU for almost making me laugh out loud. At work. Where I sit in a cube farm. And not everyone knows I'm nuts.

And don't be dissin' the outfit -- you were totally cool. I could only wish pictures of me from that age were as flattering. If you want to talk, let's dicuss the "boy with the hair-do". What was goin' on there?? And where is Romeo now? Do you ever hear from the people who end up immortalized and laid out for public humiliation on your web site? You're not getting death threats or anything, are you?

ooops, I meant to type "Ginnie"

And Uccelina I would like to see you rocking the off-the-shoulder look at the next Sat. SNB =)

I want to know what you were winking about, young super hot lady? What little bits of deviltry had you been up to with young Mr. Hard Rock London? hmm?

I don't think he was publicly humiliated here! I loved Matt sooooo much. I would never try to humiliate anyone here, well except that one guy "Jack" whose name I changed and posted no pictures.

If it seems that way that is DEFINITELY not how I intended it!

two words to solve this riddle: DUTCH OVEN.

not so concerned with the Flashdance, as i am with his hot pink Hypercolor shirt with army green shorts. tisk. the Fug Girls would have a field day.

You freaked me out! I would never ever in a million years intend to humiliate Matt, he was adorable. I changed the picture so now he is more anonymous :) Tragedy narrowly averted!!! LOL

Now he looks like a protected witness.

My family was all about the burping and farting whenever, wherever. I remember the first time I burped in front of my husband. He was shocked! I don't know how people who don't share bodily functions with their significant others can survive!

I think my husband would've been pleased if I had asked this very same question to your mother. My mother would've given me "the look" and that would've been the end of it.
Since I didn't ask this question he is just out of damn luck.

We call them "cover-fluffers" and frankly, that's how I know my husband is awake in the morning -- the first explosive rip at the crack of dawn. Oh, was that an overshare?

As the mother of three, ages 6, 7, and 8, I can sooooo appreciate your mother's position. I recently posted about my 8 year old's new-found fascination with the purpose of her parts, and sometimes, I just don't know what to say. When it doubt, tell the truth--but not without a good helping of humor to ease the pain!

Our poor mothers. Mine had to deal with questions regarding the ads for the adult films in the newspaper.

You were hot. The times, they were not.

Blame Flashdance! But ya know what? You see a lot of that look heading to the gym and out on the street lately. So the 80's are coming back around. Scary, very scary.

Ok...that had me laughing out loud at work...thank goodness everyone else is in the lunch room!!

Wee Monkey Gurl thinks farts are HILARIOUS. She just let's 'em rip whenever/wherever the mood strikes. I can't imagine her being ashamed of ANYTHING, but, she's not a teenager yet. THANK GOTT!

love the flashdance look!!!!! And the hair! Oh the memories of 80's- those were some serious good times....

It's a good thing you didn't marry him, the Hair-Do was to cover early signs of male patterned balding.

You kill me! My dad pretty much took care of our wondering if gas could be shared because for as cool as my dad was, he would just pass gas in front of us and say nothing more than, "Oops." Then there was the time when I was a teenager and me and about three of my friends had stopped by the house to chat with my mother. My father, who could also sleep anywhere, was snoring away on the living room floor in front of the TV. In the midst of our conversation, sleeping pop just let one rip! My mother has never let me forget how embarrassed I was.
The hubby and I just let 'em go in front of each other, but two of my siblings would never dream of farting in front of their spouses...which I just think is sick.
And don't worry, I had a cut off sweatshirt as well...wore it everywhere, like the flashdance/Fame girl I was!

Anonymous, don't you think baldies are sexy? The last two guys I dated had shaved heads, I thought they were hot! Maybe it is an L.A. thing, though. It's kind of a fashion statement with guys out here.

I need to find the picture of me rocking the side ponytail. Ah, those were the days.

I'm laughing so hard right now...

My 11 year old daughter and I have had many discussions on this exact subject matter. We call them "sleep toots" and we realize they can happen at any time, even when you're not asleep. And it's a natural thing, everyone does it.

Now if that wasn't an uncomfortable and irrational thing to say, I don't know what is.

I think I found your shirt from the picture - some woman was wearing it at my nephew's wrestling tournament last weekend! I thought maybe she had a time machine, was exploring the future and forgot to change out of the 80s clothes!

Oh please tell me that polaroid is a photoshop action or filter of some sort ... I'm dying to have one. If you could direct me in the right direction I shall be your BFF! :>

Elise, it is a photoshop trick. I scanned in an old polaroid and made a template out of it. I have seen polaroid-looking brush sets, too. I made my own tape though. I always make my own photoshop tape LOL.

Okay, I think you must have been raiding my closet back in 89!

Honey, you were totally hot.
It was just a combo of Flashdance and Olivia Newton-John in Physical.
Love your hair. I was stuck with a naturally curly nightmare - so of course went totally New Wave with shaved sides and a reverse duck tail.
Kisses for you and the cats.

But Laurie everyone was rockin the off the shoulder look! We even had girls in our highschool brave enough to do it without the tanktop underneath.

Aw, you look so cute!

But what's this I hear?! The 80's look is coming back?? Say it ain't so! I've seen the legwarmers, though. Am I the only one who finds it strange that the 90's is the first decade without pretty much any defining fashion? From the days of the flappers right up through the 80's each decade had it's own fashion statement. Since the 90's, IMO, we've borrowed from several of those eras, sometimes at the same time, but nothing that could be looked back on with "Well, this is what everyone wore in the 90's."

Oh, and my family was the "we don't make or talk about those kinds of noises" type. Except for my brother. Farts were his favorite topic - both talking about and demonstrating, lol! My parents were not amused!

I blame Jennifer Beals and "Flashdance" for the look. You were rockin' it, though. Whatever happened with the boy? Did you make it to the prom? Is his face blacked out because he's in the "fartness protection program"? Do tell.

KJ-- if you read the comments from the beginning you will see my freakout and why I blacked out his face.

I have no idea what happened to him. That was a long, long time ago!

I remember asking Mom whether it was true, that the good in fact did die young.

She assured me that it wasn't true, then turned off the radio (that was playing Billy Joel).

I am work trying not to laugh outloud, would not want them to think I had fun or anything. At least you were allowed to ask your mom questions........................

Oh and the "outfit"
My daughter is 20 and has one just like it! I keep telling her the 80's were not good then they certainly cannot be good now.

Your essay on farting has me snorting, ha ha. You are sooo funny. farting never worried me when I was young(er)...only boys and men farted in my family. It simply wasn't something females did! Sadly, I have learned as one grows older...well, you know, or if you don't, trust me you will in time ;-)

ROFLMAO... BTW, that outfit is definitely from your 80's Flashdance period.

Ahhh...if only I could find SOME way of making my kids quit speaking for only a few minutes.....

Sigh....

I do believe it would be questions like that one that made my southern mother die young. (That, or the fact that, when we discovered she hated that word, we'd run around the house chanting, "Fartfartfartfart...")
That outfit you are wearing in the picture is about two seconds from becoming SO IN that my teenage stepdaughters will covet it deeply and gnash their teeth if I don't immediately buy it for them.

Hah. You think he has a Hair-Do? One of my 1970-mumble prom dates had an Afro, except he was Italian.

He also had on a powder blue tuxedo with ruffles down the front, and I had on a shiny white dress with spaghetti straps, and Kate Jackson hair ... and for our prom photo we stood in front of the gym side-entrance stairs, which had been covered in tinfoil and glitter and sparkly blue and silver stuff, with puffs of white tulle for clouds, because the prom theme was "Stairway to Heaven."

My husband often tells me... last night you 'blew off the covers.' I collapse in a fit of horrified giggles every time.

I'm sure your pants in that picture were stonewashed and pegged. Mine always were.

Love the crazy-ass FlashDance outfit, of which I wore many in the '80s. Ripped up perfectly good sweatshirts to get that neckline....

I'm a maniac, MANIAC on the floor, and I'm dancin' like I've never danced before...!

My grandmother set me straight when I was, oh, maybe 4 years old....she informed me quite seriously that "ladies don't do that". So, as far as I'm concerned, it's just not done! One of my ex-husbands was raised to find great humor in farting and did it as often as possible. Could be one of the reasons I asked him to leave, come to think of it!

My mother - the perfect southern lady - has never said "fart" ever! And only in the last couple of years has she loosened up enough to describe the state of her hair on a particularly bad day as looking like "dog-you-know-what". Have no idea where she picked that up!

The mother of my 16 year old daughter's friend still wears the bands cut off sweatshirts, one side off the shoulder. She usually has a pink foam curler in her bangs when she answered the door. Once, when our car caught fire (don't ask)in front of her trailer (yeah, how did you guess) she hollered out if we needed her to bring out her "fire distinguisher"

Lord have mercy, I thought I was back in the south.

I had a BF years ago who farted so loudly in his sleep one middle-of-the-night that he woke himself up and then asked me "Was that thunder?"

You MANIAC!!!!! MANIAC!!!!! The hair - the clothes - girlfriend - you are living THE FLASHDANCE dream ;)!

"And it wasn't just any sigh, it was the deep and sad and mornful sound of a woman who really, really needs a vacation from her children."

Oh my. My children are very familiar with this type of sigh from me. Very good question askers, mine are.

Personally, if I had a teeenage daughter, and she started a question with, "When you're married, and you're in bed with your husband," and ended with, "what do you do if you have to fart?" I would fall over dead with relief. Thank you sweet Jesus she only wants to know about the farting!!!

Also, I thought Southern ladies did not pass gas. I thought they got "the vapors".

Marginally related, and completely hilarious:

http://lucysspleen.blogs.com/lucys_spleen/2006/10/vocabulary_assi.html

Thank you. I was laughing and crying.

I have an 18 year old daughter who is now at the same place in life that you were writing about. (The same where most women have been.) Madly in love, gonna marry some guy she met in a chat room, only involvement is IMing - fortunately for me he is in Canada. It is painful to know and remember that time in my life and those feelings - how real they seemed. When you watch your child, know the feelings, and add in many years of your own trial and error. I know in time she will be able to look back at this moment in her life and think, 'oh, holy hell.' But for now, she wants to marry him and move into his parent's basement. All while yelling, 'I'm 18 and an adult! I can do anything I want!'

Sure babe, as long as you get a passport. Without a job, an education she wants to live the dream.

Sigh...(the mom sigh) Let me state, I had the same look as your photo - Except, I had my long hair permed and my oversized sweatshirt had the neckband cut off as well as the sleeves - minus the guy.

Thanks, again!

OMG, he's totally hot, even with the blacked out face. But I do have to take umbrage with all the ladies mentioning the 'hip' Flashdance look. Uh, not in 1989. That was soooo 1983! I know trends take awhile to make it around the country but six years? No way.

My guess is that you'd just been mackin' hard with Mr. Matty and were all mussed. Note the stray lock on his perfect forehead, the way-too-casual arm around your shoulder and the oh-yeah-I-got-my-man grin on your face! Good on ya!

You were THE HOTNESS. Especially with the off the shoulder look.
I LOOOOVE your blog. I discovered it about a month ago & have been hooked ever since. I can't get any work done! You are so hilarious. This is the first time I have had the nerve to comment.
I just started my own blog. I hope that I came be one millionth as amusing & interesting as you are. Actually, I just hope not to suck.
Andrea in NJ

What your mom should have told you was that you were probably gonna end up with a man who gave himself a mark out of ten for every fart. I would have appreciated knowing that.

Q: What's invisible and smells like rabbit?
A: Bunny farts.

Sometimes these, er, natural occurrences will happen upon me and my husband at the same time. We refer to this as "the Bodily Noise family at home."

I cannot believe I just admitted that in public.

My DH and I actually AIM for each other when we fart! he has -no lie- wrestled me to the mattress and farted ON MY HEAD, more than once! Of course, it IS eleven years into our marriage now, he's watched me give birth more than once, up close and personal, so what's a little stinky air among best friends??

i remember, quite fondly, sitting in the car asking my mama what fuck meant when i was in the fourth grade. good times.

Another thing we do, to include the kids, is when we fart while we're walking, yell really loudly, "Whoa!! Did you hear that? I just stepped on a California barking spider!"

Um, I asked my mom a question, but it was much more intimate than that. I think my mom wanted to die. And now that I'm older, I want to die for asking it.

We just blame the dog.

is the boy with the hair-do sporting a donald trump comb-over?

"fall over dead from the shame of it" PERFECT!

The style..."Flashdance" of course! It was a hit in 1983 and apparently still popular in the South in 1989!!! LOL

What I remember most is how the exotic Hard Rock cafe T-shirts were so coveted. Being from New England, the Boston was so passe, New York could elicit and "eh," but ooooh, London! That was just the coolest. This fascination held on so long that I JUST (I wish I were kidding) THIS WEEKEND got rid of my Hard Rock Cafe in ROME shirt.

My old boyfriend had that "hairdo". He even had COMB MARKS in said "hairdo".

you kill me...

Hilarious post!

I dated someone in witness protection once...

we got that taken care of early on in our relationship. true story: the very first time i spent the night over at my boyfriend (now husband)'s house, i was half awake in the middle of the night when he farted. and i burst out laughing. he was mortified, but then laughed along with me. it's been downhill in that department since.

this was even more funny because my previous boyfriend never passed gas and i always felt like i had to leave the room if i had the urge to fart.

Wasn't that a look in 21 jump street too? NO it was Madonna! She kept that look alive!

OMG y'all are killing me!

Farting was one of the ways that DH and I figured that we'd get along when we first started dating. I'm gassy and if I don't fart, it starts to hurt! So there's no way I can go without letting something rip.

DH and I have farted on one another, and we have both farted on the animals. The dog sleeps next to me at night and is used to it. DH will hold the cat down to fart on him.

We are also both familiar with the concept of the dutch oven. I have woken many times swearing that someone or some critter has shit in the room only to realize one of us farted. I've even farted so violently in my sleep that I thought we were having an earthquake.

Laughing. So. Hard. Crying. Oh god! Also, I kinda love your outfit in that picture, with no irony or shame at all. I want to rock that look so hard now. And now I'm going to go post a link to this and make all my friends read it, because dude.

Fart story: One solitary night I decided to make a garlic dinner - garlic chicken, roasted garlic, garlic bread. Yum! But garlic has a rather ... um ... unsavory effect on me.

Later that night I was reading in bed when Fred the cat wanted to crawl under the covers and into the 'tent' formed by my bent knees. I gave him fair warning, but he insisted. Soon, I felt a familiar rumbling and warned him again. When I let forth, I felt his whiskers tickle the backs of my thighs and then he shot out of the side of the bed like he was on fire. And he didn't come back all night! I laughed so hard I almost peed a little.

Laurie, I think baldies are sexy too! Cases in point:
1. Anthony Edwards.
2. John Smoltz.
3. Phil Collins.
4. My own husband. He isn't bald yet, but he's on his way.

That is the funniest thing I have read in a very long time!

I am older, and you would thus think wiser, than you Laurie. Then why do I have to admit that I also wore that exact same outfit in 1989? With striped tights under a denim mini skirt with a matching denim coat.

I'm always exhausted after reading the comments to a post like this one! OMG, and I am so familiar with the "fluff the cover" farts. We call them "Chili" farts, as the condition is inevitable after a good meal of Hard Times Cincinnati 3-way Chili. Thanks for the laughs everyone!

Ha - my uncle has this story:
Grandpa to my teenaged uncle: Patrick, why don't you date Molly McSoAndSo? She's cute and seems really nice.
Uncle: Aw, dad. No way. She's got the 'zactlys.
Grandpa: The what?
Uncle: The 'Zactlys - you know, when her breath smells exactly like her farts?

Me, I look forward to a spouse because he will be able to tell me when I need mouthwash.

Laurie, there's nothing wrong with the outfit! The bangs, on the other hand, are a bit on the short side. But then, that million-watt smile makes up for all of that. And the boy, he's cute! Good taste, girl.

I agree with your mom on the farting, BTW--partially. When she says that you let go and you die of shame, though, I'd say that you'd probably die of your own green cloud of doom beforehand.

my precious mother was what we called a "Whistler". Poor thing, she had to endure years of snickering about her wind. Karmic intervention came my way by marrying a man that farts more than 10 big dogs. But I still love him...

That reminds me of the day I questioned my dad relentlessly as to why he was so shocked when I told him that the senior boys at my high school had a rec league basketball team called, "The 69ers"

Hee hee. I never liked to "cut one" in front of anyone either, until I married a man that could rattle the windows in the next room. Now mine seem demure in comparison! He claims he's "stepping on a duck". Also, we both blame the cat, even though it died 4 years ago.

I accidently tooted in front of my current, when we'd only been seeing each other for about a month.
I really did nearly die of embarrassment. He seemed to find it pretty amusing, though.

Love the Flashdance top in the pic!

After 20 years together, my husband and I "score" each other, or high-five each other. One time he came running into the living room, arms out straight in a helicopter motion, spinning round and round, all the while letting one rip. It was a riot. After this long, we pretty much lost our modesty. However, he still closes the bathroom door when he has to pee. He can fart around me like a pro, but he doesnt want me to see him pee?? go figure. =/

Good post, excelent picture. Ah...1989, the year my oldest was born. My gosh I'm old.

ps...by the way, it was told to me long ago that southern women dont "fart" they toot. We don't sweat either...we "glisten" :))

I usually get up really early to make coffee and breakfast for my 25 year old son before he leaves for work. He sits at the computer with me sitting on another chair behind him playing games until he wakes up. Every morning it's the same ol' thing. He leans over and lets one. I used to ignore it but one time I commented that I was going to put up a fence if he kept doing that. Next day I said I was going to sit in a tent to protect myself. Now, I think he just makes sure he can fart good to see what I'm going to come up with next. Yesterday I said "ewwwwwwwww..that's a smelly one". Tomorrow I think I'll light a match..and see what happens :)

You simply must "Dutch Oven" the dear one as early as possible. If you are unaware of such maneuvers, it goes like this : silently pass gass under the comforter, and before the aroma wafts up to warn him, pull blanket up over head and lock him in there with that sucker.
It will eliminate all future feelings of odiferous bashfulness.

As for your outfit. Well clearly you had raided my closet......and MY boyfriend at the time had the same t-shirt as Mr.Do. Must be some freaky star trekkisk time warp thing ;-)

Have to delurk for this one. Out of the blue my nine year old asked "What's a condom?" at the dinner table. While my husband ran from the room, I was left to explain. Love,love,love the blog.

wait! some of us actually need this answer. What exactly is proper protocol for passing gas in front of the opposite sex?

I asked my ex-boyfriend why he'd never spoon with me in bed and he said it was because I always farted on him after I fell asleep. Oops!

Oh dear Laurie, once again, you reduce me to hopeless giggles. My mother STILL won't say "fart"--I had to learn that farting was actually normal and not some horrible awful thing that only disgusting morons like me did waaaaaay after the fact. But, being my uptight Southern mother's girl (resigned sigh) I still TRY to "politely leave the room" though, and established a FIRM "we shall BOTH close the door of the bathroom and pause conversation during bodily functions" policy early on in our marriage.
Okay, so I may be a bit uptight, but I like to delude myself that I am (ahem) "keeping some of the mystery alive" or as I tell my husband, "I am a GIRL and just 'cuz I married you doesn't mean you can forget that fact!" He was raised in the South, so he's pretty cool with it.
By the way- CUTE boy! Hell, I would have been just as gone over him too!

It's 1989 - You are the Hotness!
Great story

oh, you are so sporting "flash dance" in that photo!

Wasn't Flashdance a great movie - and a great fashion faze/craze? I was move of a leg warmers or white cotton socks with high heels kinda girl.

After a long day, this story really picked me up! I'm still laughing as I type this.

We have fart CONTESTS! His are smellier, but mine are louder!

My mom would have said the same thing. When I say FART even now she is horrified.

I guess I am just not a lady. WILD WOMEN have more fun anyway!

Sheeez...I was all prepped to see what wonderful subject Laurie had written about on my birthday...and it's FARTS!!!

It could be worse, I suppose! :)

My husband is hilarious with his farts; he always acts like it was something else. One time we were walking out of a grocery store and he let one go; it was brief but loud, as these two old ladies were following us out. We knew there was no way they couldn't possibly have heard it. My husband stops dead in his tracks, turns around, looks down at his butt and says in this puzzled tone, "Did you hear that? I think my pants tore!"

Oh. My. Gosh. I have to stop typing and wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes - hold on a sec....LOL.
In my opinion, this is why you have a dog - you blame it on them! ;-)

I don't know why I try to read this at work... I'm crying and laughing and crying. And praying no one asks me anything. Thank you for the lift!

My husband walked by a doorway once, called my name and I looked up to hear him KAH-BLOEE a big one, leaping forward as if propelled. I laughed and laughed.

I love the outfit and your smile is radiant...utterly pleased with life in the moment.

OMG you really are the funniest.
I had my son convinced, until he was 6, that I didn't fart because i am a delicate flower. He told one of my friends this and I do believe she wet her pants!

When my husband has to let one, he always says, "Oh, hon, I'm so sorry..." first. His hearing isn't so great, so I don't have to say anything. And keeping those covers down is the way to go, for everyone's sake.

Thanks for the laugh!

OK, but help me ... is that A MULLET you are stylin'?!?

;-)

OMG... is February fart month? LOL

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=Bratfink&uid=568376001&tab=weblogs

I laughed till I cried. I only heard my dad fart once in my life... he was asleep on the couch at the time. I think it was Mom's hobby.

Fart proudly, I always say. Do NOT be ignored!

Okay, being a teenager and also sharing (sort of) the same name as Jennifer Beals, I must say that that off-the-shoulder look is super-cool right now. (At least here on the East Coast.) Retro is cool.

Yup.

I fart proudly at home. Except I NEVER fart at school. NEVER NEVER NEVER. Some of the boys who are OLDER than me think it's super-hilarious, and I couldn't deal with that humiliation.

You look like you're right out of Flashdance, a movies I saw SEVEN times IN THE THEATRE!! And I wanted to look just like all the girls in the theatre group... obviously you did too. You're real cute, if it makes it any easier to have to admit you were a child of the 80's...

Love your blog. You're so, hmm. "HOT", in that way sexy 80's way.

So, Laurie, you've been married. What DO you do???

At least you don't burst into uncontrollable tears at those 3-day Breast Cancer Walk ads.

Even the print ones. (No, I am not pregnant or PMSing. I have issues, apparently.)

PS? I love that photo.

Girl, you ARE the hotness! You OWN that crazy flash dance moment. No shame, no shame!

I'd be smiling too it I were with that guy, he's a cutie!

When we adopted our third (of four) cats, Clementine, she was a snowy white, blue-eyed little fluff ball. She was also an SBD gas machine, but no one realized that she was the guilty party. My poor husband spent a couple of weeks protesting his innocence before we figured it out! It didn't help that he carried her everywhere with him, surrounded by a deadly green haze.

Looks like Lily and I are alone in our Southern prudishness here! ;)

Which is undoubtedly why, InterstellarLass, I still blush to recall the time my mom asked *me* The Question a few years ago. We were on our way out of a department store when she said she wanted to ask me about something when we got outside. Dumb me, I cajoled her into spilling it, out of delighted curiosity and total lack of imagination that it could be such a thing as it was: back during the glorious days of Bill & Monica, my delicate 79YO Belle of a mother wanted to know: what oral sex was. (whereupon I literally crashed into the Clinique counter)

(Uptightness aside, though, y'all are cracking me up!)

*back during the glorious days of Bill & Monica, my delicate 79YO Belle of a mother wanted to know: what oral sex was. (whereupon I literally crashed into the Clinique counter)*

You can't just leave us hanging - did you educate? What happened?

you ARE (still)the hotness.....now be quiet...

Oh do you still have that red top? They made a come back and i got one pretty much the exact same last year. Seriously.

As for the farting, its useful to have a pet dog to blame....

"California Barking spider"- hee!

I read the funniest/sweetest thing just this morning about this:
http://fray.com/drugs/love/andre.html

I am still wiping the laughter tears away. God that is funny and your mother is beyond coolest of the cool.

We call it "turtle", you fart, then pull the covers over the other one's head.

This soooo how I wanted to start my morning! I think your mom and my mom were seperated at birth.

Farting story eleventy-million:
My older sister is deaf so she didn't realise that farts made a noise until mum told her. She was mortified as she didn't realise that people would know she had farted (don't think she has farted in public since!!).

Did his momma wash that white t-shirt with her red panties?

Must-a been his daddy doing the warsh, because no southern momma would make that kinda household chore mistake!

You are awesome! Too funny.

Oh, Laurie, you are so funny! You really MUST write a book!! You would be a millionaire with just putting all your blog entries together in one hilarious collection and would never have to traverse the traffic and wacho's again. Instead you could go to Paris lots more! Your Mom sounds like a doll to have had you around to "put up" with.. And the picture is wonderful, too. You are truly one of a kind. Its not every day that we can find one such as youself. You have a VERY loyal following on your blog.

I copied this and pasted it and forwarded it to my mom to read just now. She's going to call me in about 10 minutes, after she's read it, and be cracking up laughing...*giggles*

Love this post...so cute...:)

hehe that was great. My mom was a little more open. In fact, she told me why she broke up with her first fiance! She had gone to visit him at his parents house (they were only like, 18), and he was asleep on the couch. She heard him fart in his sleep, and that was it! she dumped him!..

granted...this is the woman who also believed that storks delivered babies until she was 16 and her FRIENDs told her the truth...lol

Hey Laurie,

*LOL* That's such a great post!

Re: Your outfit in the photo. Oh, come on! I'm an '82 child and I think you look great in the photo, considering the fashion of the time. ;-) It's the Boy-With-The-Hair-Do's Hard Rock London T-shirt that's giving me the cringe. ;-p

nice flashdance outfit! :)

i was laughing so hard reading this. great story.

That? Was just AWESOME!

Perhaps you were on your way to an interview for a welding job?

Oh thanks a lot for that! Now I have to explain to everyone here in Cube Land why I'm cracking up laughing! :-)))

My Mom probably would have told me that if I had to fart, I was eating too much and should quit being a pig.

Hahahahaha!!

Oh, that boy's hair! I would have had a HUGE crush on him based on that hair. Loved that Veronica Lake lock falling over the his eyes. I am sure he cultivated that head toss so he could see. That was so sexy to my teenage mind back in the day.

No bodily functions in my family as I was growing up. The word fart never crossed my lips until I was at least 30. The issues parents give to children lol

I was 29 and my sister was 32 and my mom was 59 in the last year of her life...my mom farted and we all broke into squeals of laughter. After snorting and 7 minutes of tears of joy my sweet, proper mother confessed that she had never farted in front of my dad in 41 years of marriage ... another 7 minutes of squealing, snorting, tears mom said "Life's too short." I'm sure she farted in front of my dad at the next opportunity! This still makes me snort 20 years later!

I wore an outfit eerily similar to that one, actually. It was 1993, and I was 13, going to a concert. I was the hotness, and so were you!

did we grow up in the same house? seriously?

Your outfit was just the coolest thing. I think someone was on the cover of Tiger Beat wearing just about the very same thing.

I like that outfit.
And right now I am listening to Chantal Kreviazuk Surrounded
I think it's apt. You may not. But you might.

I am chiming in late...golly, he does have a labor-intensive hairstyle.

Huh, so I guess she didn't explain the dutch oven to you?

"Maniac"! I love it- thanks!

Laurie, I'm with LaDonna. Are you sure it was 1989?

I don't believe I've ever been in a relationship in which I was willing to admit that I had any bodily functions at all (except for, you know, the one that's helpful when naked). I don't know whether I'm repressed, or just extremely courteous. This may explain why I prefer to sleep alone . . . freedom, ah, sweet freedom.

I haven't laughed that hard in ages!

it looks like you've gained 2lbs a week since 1989.

Oh my gosh! That is unbelievably funny!

I think we might be related.

*dies of the laughing*

missed you. congratulations on the award nom. i wonder if there will be an after party. i'm blogging again, btw. not knitting, but blogging.

xoxo
a

An orange crumb carpet....OMG I LOVE how you word things!! Being a mom of an 8 y/o and a 5 y/o who talk INCESSANTLY, I can SO appreciate that conversation from your mom's point of view. However I can totally appreciate that outfit from a teen's point of view. Can you say Flashdance?!?!

HA! I remember the first "toot" I inadvertently emitted in front of my then-boyfriend-now-husband. It was of the S.B.D variety, which as we all know are officially: The Worst. We were laying in bed in total darkness when it unexpectedly... happened. I prayed for SOME miraculous, impervious odourshield to immediately surround me, making him, SOMEHOW, unable to detect this all-too-detectable odiferous cloud hovering about our bodies. It went a little something like this:

"Um... did you fart?!"
(horrified silence)
"Hon??? Did you???"
(more silence. How do I avoid this? Feign sleep??)
"Why aren't you saying anything? Did you???
(hesitantly:)"NO."
"No?!" (incredulous with an audible smirk)
(my voice cracking)"NO!"
"YES YOU DID!" (giggles, apparent delight)
(me rolling over, commencing a mortified Sob Fest, feeling even more embarrased for this display of embarrassment than the S.B.D. itself if that was even possible!)
"It's ok! Oh god, hon, it's really OK!"
(me internally declaring between sniffs: Well, the mystique is officially O-V-E-R)

Sigh. Sad but all too true. Thanks for another very funny, entertaing post!

Good grief--I STILL don't want to...um..you know--in front of my husband and we've been married 40 years!! And yes--I Am SOUTHERN--a "lady" from Virginia..(that cusses like a trucker, even) ..but my hubby did love to play "Hey--come pull my finger!!" with the children an awful lot when they were growing up! When my son asked why Mama didn't play--ever--my husband said, "Oh, Mama's don't play THAT game!!"