February 16, 2007
Stitch 'n Bitch 'n Almost Socially Acceptable. Almost.
Last night I attended a meeting of the West Hollywood Stitch 'n Bitch (Thursday nights, 3rd & Fairfax at the Original Farmer's Market, come inside and go up to the stairs to the open seating area, 6:30- 9ish p.m. every week!) and it was a really great night!
One of my New Year's Resolutions was to attend more SnB meet-ups, but the private resolution powering the public one was a little more complex (read: embarrassing). Leave the house, leave the comfort zones, open up to meeting people, to being exposed, let go of the fear of rejection and ridicule (and if you can't let go of the fear, at least put it on a list of things to worry about later).
It's the old adage, "Suit up, show up, and act as if." I figured if it worked for people in 12-step groups it could work for me and my Eleventy Two Steps Needed self. Just put on the outfit that you would wear if you were actually as self-confident as you wished you were, then show up every day for the life you wish you were living, and act as if you were already comfortable in your own skin. The real thing will (hopefully) follow.
It's working, actually. At first when I started this whole tactic of self-preservation, it felt awkward and silly. It did however keep me from crying in meetings (most of the time) while I was going through my divorce, and frankly, I am still employed (as of today) so hey. That's good enough for me! It's a process, though. Even last month at Stitch 'n Bitch I was at an all-time awkwardness apex. But whatever, no one died from my chattering and I didn't grow a third head out of shame so there you have it.
Suit up, show up and act as if.
And before I even knew it, somehow I just got all excited to attend Stitch 'n Bitch yesterday, not scared and anxious, and I got to chitchat and carryon and tell some stories and get a homemade kumquat jam from a new SnBer. There were folks who I'm not sure if it's okay to use their real names on this here website because they are very mysterious. And Ellen Bloom was there wearing her gorgeous black cardigan that she made with combining both knit and crochet, and M.J. was there (and her stash apparently rivals that of the world's greatest yarn shop) and I got to see Jen, who arrived with her embroidery -- perfect timing since Carla is starting an embroidery project, too! -- and there was much talk about pasties (thanks, Kendra) (now I will have to explain this one to my parents) and even though I forgot my pompom for Laurie Ann, all in all it was just a favorite and perfect evening, which Faith had to listen to me chatter on and on and on about in the car on the way home. Faith, do you ever just tune me out sometimes? My folks used to do that. I don't mind. I'll poke you with a sharp stick when I get to an epiphany or something important. Heh.
But then this AWESOMENESS of social grace and happiness was capped off by apparently my real personality showing up at the end of the evening when I tried to exit gracefully and ran into a chair, thereby re-awakening the dork within.
And Faith and Sara and I were walking out to the parking lot together, laughing at my gracefulness.
Me: Well, aside from the little stumble at the end this was a great night!
Sara: It was! It was so much fun, I'm happy to see you both.
Faith: I did a lot of twirling. Where are you parked, sara?
Me: Oh crap! I forgot to take any pictures!
Faith: Oh ... well, it's fine.We have memories.
Sara: Besides, your cats are way cuter anyway than all of us!
Me: OH!! Inspiration strikes! I could go home and take pics of the cats and use them as re-enactments of stitch-n-bitch!!
Me: OH MY GOD.
Me: I just said OUT LOUD and IN PUBLIC that I am going to go home and photograph my CATS re-enacting scenes from my KNITTING GROUP. I have reached some new level of crazy and/or spinsterdom as yet undefined by man and nature.
Then I added some other things less family-friendly but certainly funny exclamations to this proclamation and we went on about our merry ways, and I tried to get to the very peak of the Mt. Everest Of Spinsterdom with some cat photos but no one, and I mean no one, felt like cooperating.
Perhaps it's for the best. Really now.
Posted by laurie at February 16, 2007 9:58 AM