I used to use my Barbies to reenact things and I would take pictures with my trusty Polaroid. Ah, childhood in the '80s!

Hi, I've never posted before, but I have to tell you - I'm going to get in trouble from laughing so hard! You are SO FUNNY!!!

I think Susannah is on to something! Use some dolls and set up reenactments of the SnB. Should be a fun weekend project and it would make a good post!

There is coffee coming out of my nose right now thanks to you. It hurts.

I totally changed the way I see myself and the way others see me by doing exactly what you are doing. Suit up, go out and pretend you are cool with you. 10 years later I like me.

You must read Cat Town (http://www.spatch.net/cattown/index.html)! He hasn't updated in a while but the episodes are hilarious. You re-enacting SNB with cats reminded me of Cat Town.

I've always wanted to be mysterious. It was actually a conscious goal of mine as a teenager. I also wanted to weigh 103lbs and have my first novel published before I turned twenty. I had a lot of unrealistic goals back then.

"Suit up, show up and act as if."

Well said, Laurie. I tend to be a hermit myself, so I have to talk myself into getting out of the comfort of my apartment and force myself to go talk to other human beings rather than hang out with my dog (who, by the way, does not like cooperating with my picture taking ways either, despite treats and cajoling).

Do you ever find that in the middle of being social, that there's a part of you in your mind that's like a third person observing what you are doing, and making a silent commentary? Like "hm. Look at me, I'm being NORMAL by other human standards. And I dont' stand out. Is this how it is for others too?" It makes it more encouraging to want to get out there again and meet others. And it's so much more fun when you can share your knitting with other knitters. :)

Happy Friday to you and the kitties!

"Suit up, show up and act as if."

I did it Laurie! I went to my first stitch-n-bitch on Tuesday. I was ascared and I didn't know anybody and my mustache was sweaty but I did it. Now I just have to do it again and this time I will know people so it won't be a scarey.

And Yes, I babbled too much.

I Forgot to take pictures too.

psychomom, you have no idea how happy and impressed I am with you! that's awesome!

I babble every. single. time. But I think people just get used to it after a while (I hope) hehehe

The ultimate classic re-enactment book is "The Lonely Doll" by Dare Wright--she wrote the stories and photographed her doll and teddy bears in various charming tableaux. You definitely need to get the cat herd to act out the SNB meetings!

Darn, I wanted to see how the cats hold their needles.

Someday, I'm going to fly in and show up at the WeHo SnB. Now that would be a hoot.

Congrats! (I am going to show up "as if" tonight - for one of those dreaded social interactions - where I won't even have a fiber barrier! Maybe a little schnapps will help!)

oh my God! have I been there! I emailed to join an S&B in my town, and I have yet to get the courage to go to a meeting. What if the people hate me? what if I say something stupid/inappropriate/or something where I do the "devil horns" at the end??? That would be weirdness ranking right up there with having to convince very young men that I could have been their babysitter, so that is why I cannot date them. GUH.....maybe I'll just make up an S&B with my cats--and I truly think the dog might actually be into it....

"Suit Up..." Is that really an old adage? Is it a 12-step thang? I haven't heard it before but I like it!

I hope you and psychomom keep on babbling, it keeps the rest of us entertained, and those of us who don't have the talking in public skill down feel more comfortable because there's not as much pressure on us to be so vocally social. See? You're doing us a favor!

It's to bad the herd wouldn't cooperate. Mind, they don't have opposable thumbs, would have been hard to rig up the needles.

See? I told you your cats were cuter than we are. BTW, by the time I got to my car, my stomach hurt from laughing so much. I hope you do come to SnB more often -- that way, we can say socially inapproapriate things together!

I'm proud of you, Auntie. Sometimes putting on shoes and facing the world without taking hostages should be enough. And don't worry. All the good interesting people are weird. The 'normal' ones are the true freaks.

One of these days, Frank and I will have to come to the WeHo SnB and meet you, Laurie. Or would that be too blog-stalkerish? Frank loves the kitty photos and he thought the spackle was just brilliant.

I always heard that saying as "Fake it till you make it," and it's true. You can always pretend you're acting the part of a solid, no-worries grownup for a few hours, and dissolve later, if you have to. Often, you find out later that you have no real need to dissolve because you did just fine.

I've been reading this book that was a valentine's day present from my bf's parents... apparently they think I need "self-help" AND even though the book hasn't said these exact words yet, it's totally what you are doing... "Suit up, show up and act as if." It's about how the secret of life is to think every thought about what you really want, act as if you already have it, and then you'll get it... I posted about the book a few days ago... I've kind of been making fun of it, but it is really a decent philosophy, I guess. It's making more sense now anyway.

I am too anxious or shy or something to go to my local SnB group. I don't know why, but I am. It sounds like you have a great attitude and are having a lot of fun! I think cat re-enactments would be cool!

Thank goodness my boss and the other team members just left the room when I read this. I actually laughed out.loud. at the pictures. :) Thank you. I needed that right now.

And I'm with you on the suit up, show up and act as if. I've been doing that for a while now here at work and most of the time it works for me. Granted, I'm back at only 3 weeks out since crying at work about work, but it's all about the progress, right?

I am constantly amazed at how people will actually laugh at my jokes and appreciate my company. It's pretty cool to realize that you're not quite as weird or unusual as you think ;)

Ity's 2:20 in the afternoon. I'm at work and just went to the restroom for the first time today. It's that sort of day - crazy, too busy, too much stress. I had to go on-line to order some CHEP pallets and some chemicals (fro production not for me u nfortunately) so took a mental health break. Thank you Laurie and Soba! You're keeping me sane and de-stressed enough to finish out the day (I hope).

I just started a knitting group with another gal on Sunday. I dragged along a couple of gals from work who wanted to learn to knit, we sat at a Starbucks and got all wigged out on caffeine and yarn. TWO different women came up and said they wished they were knitting with us! We invited them for next week.

So if anyone's in the Mill Valley, CA area on Sunday from 10-12, shoot me an email and I'll hook ya up!

Good on ya, Laurie. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there but you have a great attitude. Another 12 step slogan I love is "Fake it till you make it."

A. I'm listening, reeeallly I am. No sharp sticks necessary.

B. Did you even notice the guy standing next to us when you said that?

C. OtherLisa - I know where your husband works! I was stuck in the same flooded basement trying to get from a meeting to my car on the B level!!!

Wow, psychomom is my hero. I could no more walk deliberately into an entire room full of strangers and commence to try to fit in with them, than I could fly to the moon. (And if I did, OH the babbling.) :)

Although, why would I not assume that at least one other person - if not half the room or more - might be "suiting up" too...... hmm....

There's something to be said for the "suit up, show up" thing. My dad, who is a very wise man, told me the way to succeed at work is to pretend you know what you're doing until you do actually know what you're doing, and everyone will think you know what you're doing.
It sounded better the way he put it, but that's the jist of it.

I'm there with ya. That's why I started going to my local Knit Night Thingies. I always feel like the biggest damn dork ever.

Weirder still when someone mentions my blog. You mean people can see me? o.0 I thought I was invisible.

Still your crazy night wasn't loaded with Dayquil. A night I shall never live down. *L*

I bet Bob would like to hold your needles for the picture. If you have some leftover Spackle you could give it a try. *L*

*HUGS*

Lauri, once again you say the things I pay my therapist a lot of money to tell me. Suit up and show up can be so hard for me and just earlier this afternoon I was thinking on flaking on the woman I'm trying to make new friends with. Reading your post has convinced me that I must pretend that I'm not scared to death to go out for drinks with strangers on Saturday night.

Also, I am an A #1 klutz and I managed to bounce myself off the door frame of the conference room yesterday, in front of nearly all my coworkers. It was hysterical. Really it was. Then walking across the parking lot for lunch today my ankle gave out and I did that awkward bendy "will she fall" dance for a moment. And when I looked up, my ex was driving by (I sh*t you not, he works down the street). Good times, good times.

I saw cats doing tricks on TV this morning for the Midwest Pet Expo - I wonder if Soba would bend for fancy treats?

"Suit up, show up and act as if."

That is what 24 yrs of parenting & step-parenting has taught me. If you act like you're the adult in charge, other people buy it. On the other hand, almost 50 years of living has told me, most folk are just glad someone else is being the adult in charge.

And all the rest of your post? Tea! Out my mouth! Onto the keyboard! Ick! You are one of my favourite imaginary friends!

You know, I'm just about to turn 39, and in the last two years or so I find myself no longer caring what people think of me. I used to agonize over my awkwardness, second-guessing myself constantly after every social interaction, but now, not so much. I have no idea how this happened but I am very glad it has. I think part of it comes from my painting group, where I and about 15 retirees get together to paint watercolor paintings together and then chat about what we painted. I admire their attitude of not obsessing over what others think of them. I find myself pondering sometimes: "what would so-and-so from my w/c group say about this potentially earth-shatteringly embarrassing situation?" The answer, more often than not? "Ehhh, what are you going to do? The hell with it!" I'm just glad I figured that out earlier rather than later.

Will these women never learn? That's why I don't drink/eat when I read your blog - I just know I'll choke and/or ruin my keyboard in the process! :)

I did that for awhile, the suit up/show up/act as if, after two bad relationships (messy divorce and then a cheating bf). It really worked! I had lots of friends, lots of fun, people who liked me (they really, really liked me! ala Sally Field) but then I was brought down by several bad circumstances in my life and I got tired of the effort. I'm in a good relationship now (new hubby - I musta done something right) but a part of me feels too weary to make the same effort again.

Although I would love to try and find out if there is a local SnB where I live. Course, if there is, then comes the decision whether or not to actually participate.

~sigh~

ANYWAY! A reenactment of some kind would be fun! Cats, dolls, or whatever - or get Faith, Sara, Jen, etc. at your house and do the reenactment with them!

"Fake it 'til you make it" is what my friend Shirley says. It's a personal mantra when The I'm Unworthies arrive and I talk myself out of doing something really fun. You're inspiring me, Laurie--when I get done teaching this session of my night class I'm going to go to the Tuesday knit night at the new cool(er than me) yarn store in town!

"Fake it till you make it" is my motto too. They don't have to see the insides! Not till you're ready.

Too funny. I love my knitting group. I felt weird and awkward the first couple of times I came, but now they're like family to me. Hope yours becomes like family to you, too. :-)

Oh, and one more thing. Introverts (like me) happen to LOVE babblers (like you claim to be). So, babble on, (Babylon?), Laurie. I'll bet there are quite a few introverts in your knitting group who are happy you're there to liven things up. :-)

Yay Laurie! Yay psychomom! Yay LaDonna for starting your own knitting group. I still can't get to my local SnB due to hermetic tendencies. And Dork! Hello! I fell down twice in the Andronico's parking lot in the past month. Twice. No reason. Just fell down. der.

See, Laurie, you would be exactly who I would want to be sitting next to at SNB because, me? I don't say a word. I aspire to the babbling. But, alas, I am rendered a total mute when out in public. So if I could find the person that can't shut up, they probably wouldn't notice my lack of input to the conversation!

Marilyn -- I call this the "DFO" ... stands for Done Fell Over.

As in, "I was walking out of the room and done fell over!" or "I just DFO'd in front of everyone!" LOL

Well, now that ya'll keep reinforcing that the babblers are a nice welcome so you don't have to talk... heck. I'll just keep flapping my jaw. Indeed!

You know, I thought something seemed different about you last night... it was the lack of camera! Mystery solved.

Gwen: and the lack of crazypants. I was more sane than usual, I think. On the outside.

I have been very happy these days. Life is good. I think it's because I started eating carbs again and I have seratonin in my brain. What do you think of my theory? Thoughts? Ideas?

yeah, carbs are a must.
Do you have a scar on your side, because I swear we were separated at birth. You would be the more outgoing chatty twin, I would be the more introverted but extremely crafty twin.
I would pay money to see the cats act out snb on Youtube!!

Faith! UCLA, right?

And he won't technically be my husband until October, but we feel like we've been married 20 years already. "20 GOOD years," as he always puts it.

Sheesh. That must have been SOME Valentine's day for those poor construction workers.

*raises hand* Another introvert! In between my acting as if periods. I somehow attract the babblers. Then I become half a babbler after I get to know them and they stop saying to me, "You don't talk much, do you!" It all balances out!

OMG OtherLisa this is freaky!

And yes you need to come to snb one night!! As does everyone in the region. It's such a good group of people, plus one chatterbox ;)

I am entirely too loud to be mysterious. I also tend to babble (or write) incoherently most of the time, especially when excited or nervous, or when I write an uncontrollably long and mostly punctuation-free monologue while I desperately search for a way to end this already way too long help me help me make it stop make it stop I'm so tired and embarassed.................AHHHHHHHH!

That's why I'm not mysterious.

Purl, when you suit up, you REALLY suit up. Aside from the carbs, I think that power suit really helped boost your confidence. I'll have to tell you just one more time - you look gorgeous! And not just the cleavages (although no one's complaining about that). The cut and colors were perfect. That's the biggest shame about not having the camera.

And if you really knew how many of us are truly hermits at heart... We're each just a little bent and broken, but this is a great group and its well worth the effort to spend time with them.

MonkeyGurrl, thank you so much. And this, this I love:

"We're each just a little bent and broken, but this is a great group and its well worth the effort to spend time with them."

It's perfect and lovely and true.

I definitely think the carbs help! As does eating real food in general and not spending so much energy having fights in your head about it. I'm still working on kicking that habit.

Also, Liz. I myself has a teetiny rather insignificant, really, little problem with run-ons in general and also punctuation which is not a problem in *talking* since it is invisible and all, ya'll know, but it certainly carries over to the written word (word!) and I don't even spellcheck which I know makes people insane but I don't care, I myself just go crazy with all my own comma splices, I know I should stop but...

Laurie and all you knitting commenters are so wonderful. You have helped me to find my inner peace and courage and I figured if the ladies at my local s-n-b were half as nice as ya'll that I could survive joining the group. I wish we could all get together for real.

I could never do the Atkins thing. I will eat anything in small portions, I am such a Carb addict and love fatty dairy products (butter, ice cream, sour cream). I just am not so much into artificially flavored stuff.

Suit up, show up, and act as if. Every. single. day.

Laurie, you don't know how happy I was to see you and Faith round the corner as I was somewhat guiltily purchasing my marzipan bone (shut up, Faith; it is too good). Then I went the nacho purveyor and ran into Regina and Mary Jo. I did an inner "giddy as a school girl" dance.

No worries about the pom pom. I went a little crazy with some crap yarn and have enough to cover the world...if only I weren't so stuck in the 'wood. (Hollywood, that is)

Oh my god, Laurie. That picture has me clutching my mouth so my roommate won't hear me gasping out loud with laughter. I love you.

"You should have gotten a dog, you weirdo."

I am so ROFLing over here!

When you get to feeling like you are missing having a man in your life, pop over to my blog.

That should cure you.

been there....
now I make myself wait a few seconds before talking if I can so I can edit out severe dorkiness.
Sometimes it works, other times....

I was lucky enough to have spent some time with CAP last night and I didn't notice any run-ons, awkward social behavior, heck, I didn't even notice any awkwardness when I hugged her, TWICE!

You're a very kind, gentle person Laurie. It's odd because I'm reading your blog and am at the "cheetos on your chest" phase so seeing you last night, beaming, was such a contradiction to my image of you from then.

I'm happy to see you in a better place than you were. I also have to let you know that the thought of being single became a little less scary for me. Seeing where you were and how you are now showed me that I could make it through it (again), if I had to. And that I could find and surround myself with caring, gentle, concerned people. And that I wouldn't be alone.

xo

I am new to this web site, but after reading entries this week and previous ones, (I especially like Jan 26th), you get an exercise in laughing just reading these (the "new" stomach crunch?). Keep the funny postings, (babblings) coming. And I can relate to yesterdays entry with the cat food. Finding it where ever, when ever, in bare feet is not acceptable, and gross. (Squeesh, through the toes)

Now it's SnB but I can see the future. In a few months you'll be hitting bars and clubs alone.

Laurie, I really wish we had a SnB here where I live ... and most especially that you were part of it.

Oh Laurie,

Believe me...you will never be more beautiful than you are right now.You are a wonderful cat loving,nice person, knitting girl..my husband had "Beaver Clever parents "who told him all his life "no one else is any better than you" and he believed them!
His ego is as big as the ocean. And over the last 10 years , I have learned to actually LIKE myself.
Even though I grew up totally "socially phobic"
and no one ever told me that.
I know ..it's mind blowing to think that way....
but believe me...you are worth thinking you are a wonderful person. And you might as well save yourself 10 years of grief and accept it now. :)
Go out to eat by yourself! Feel OK if you just work , take a nap, wake up and drink wine and talk to cats. It's all good.
I want to learn how to knit...because of you. who knew knitting was the new cool??
Who can teach me in Arkansas?

I have made it through a good share of my adult life by "acting as if". Whatever works!

We are all wonderful women!! We all possess wonderful qualities, we just have to look for them and remind ourselves of them, OFTEN. If we do something that makes us happy thats all that counts. No one else is responsible for our happiness except us. Sure there are social etiquettes, but it's all how you view things in life and how you "act as if."

I must tell you that last night I dreamed that myself and a handful of my friends, were at a party that you were throwing. It was an odd party. I was drinking hard liquor (which I never do) and was relatively drunk...and there was a bear...just a little bear, outside where you and I were talking and drinking and when we tried to come back in your house, the bear tried to follow us (he was also a friendly bear) and we had a terribly, laughing hysterically, drunken time getting back into the house without letting the bear inside (I cannot believe I'm telling you this). Then police sirens were heard nearby and you were crying because your party was ruined and we were having so much fun and we were all trying to console you and then I woke up.

How odd is that?

i love reading these things. makes me feel so normal. i dont' know why i don't think that other people do all those inane dorky things i do. like hiding in public behind some sort of yarn project. it's amazing how brave a person can be with half a scarf on her lap. i'd love to go to an SnB, but there aren't any really close to where i live. oh well, something will turn up.

Laurie,

Are we living in a parallel universe? I think so. I've been making myself go out and cope in social situations and I've got to tell you, the first few times, I've had full on panic attacks after the fact. But I'm starting to warm up to myself.

Sorry I missed SNB last night. We are on virus lockdown here - Evan and I are quarantined in the healthy part of the house while Jeff coughs up a lung in the sick part of the house. I will be there next week unless the germs get us.

It's eerie how similar Soba's pose is to Bob's pose in your previous post. Is she doing a Feline Mind Meld with him?

I used to joke that I had delusions of adequacy; then I started looking at people around me and thought, you know, I AM adequate. And I am also a legend. In my own mind. And Katie is certainly right when she says that the older you get the less you care about what other people think about you. That inner weirdo we ALL possess (or think we do) is more often than not a lot more normal (or at least typical) than you may think and may actually be a pretty fun person to hang out with. As my refrigerator magnet says, "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well".

This was an absolutely perfect post. Made me smile. And I could really use one today. Thank you. I so know how you feel and I like your new manta. I may have to adopt it and see if I can get it to work for me. "as if". (grin)

Btw, can I ask, what program you use to edit your photos with. I always enjoy the little blurbs. (Yes I'm usually just a lurker.)

You were so graceful and such a social butterfly Thursday night -- and you looked terrific! I loved that pink camisole! Keep coming. I loved seeing you.

Yeah for you! I know that everytime that I leave my local knitting guild (where I am the youngest by 2 to 3 decades) that I have opened my mouth, inserted foot and choked on my kneecap. However, I have luckily found out that most people are willing to overlook small doses of insanity, so long as they don't have to let you sleep on their couch. At that point, no holds barred. Since I still have my own roof over my head, I think that they still tolerate me and get the occasional kick out of me, especially when I forget/confuse 'Outside voice, Inside thought'.

However, I do have a question... what do you do with all the hats and scarves that you make while living in SoCal? Do you wear them on the brisk 50 degree days or do you give them away to charity? I'm just curious.

Laurie, a small comment. You said "... spinsterdom as defined by man ..."

Honey, ain't no man definin' me. You neither. Just sayin.'

The older I get, the less I give a rat's ass about what other people think of me. I am 46. It will be interesting to see how I am if I make it to eighty.

The ladies in my knitting group still giggle nervously at "Stitch-n-Bitch", they're so cute. I told them I liked "knit happens" and they giggled at that, too. But no go!

That's pretty funny. I have huge social anxiety issues myself. The first time I went to a local knitting group, they were meeting up at a bar for cocktails, kareoke, and knitting. I was wildly nervous about meeting these folks for the first time, so met a girlfriend of mine beforehand for a bracing pre-knitting meeting drink and pep-talk. Well, one bracing drink turned into about seven bracing drinks. By the time I got the knitting group, everyone was packing up to leave and I was about six inches left of wasted. I never did attend another meeting after that...

I've been going pretty regularly to the knitting group here on Oahu for a few months now and I still don't know if I really fit in. I do think that the other ladies there have learned to be really tolerant of my moments of strange and wacky episodes though. It did take awhile for me to get to that stage where I was okay with being the weird and wacky person of the group even though I've always been The Weird One.

Honestly though, I think that both you and I are our own worst critics and that we see ourselves as being worse then we actually are. But isn't that the way it always goes?

DFO - LOL, Laurie that's hilarious.....I lauged so hard I snorted when I read that. Not long ago I was walking across the Trader Joe's parking lot and DFO - No reason.....I done picked myself up faster than I DFO'd - I don't know if anyone saw I was too embarassed to look around :-)

Way to go, Laurie!

And if the friends don't stop you from re-enacting the SnB with the cats, well, you can bet your pasties the cats will!

I love the pictures of your cats. I wish I could have one, but my apartment complex doesn't allow pets.

Getting your cats to reenact a knitting meetup isn't dorky, it's creative genius! You think Tim Burton and Martin Scorsese never went home from knitting meetups and...

Well, if they were knitters, they would have. You know it.

Hi Laurie.... I'm glad I'm not the only one. My ninth grade teacher signed my yearbook..... " What goes in Judi's mind...... comes out Judi's mouth". Power to the "forget to thinkers and then spitter outers!" We rule! Nice to have found your blog! Judi

I've been reading your blog in secrecy for some time now and I've just got to tell you, you're hysterical - laugh out loud sitting at the computer ... hysterical! I think I'm going to have to plan a trip to SnB in Weho and experience it all in person. Thanks for the laughs, Joseph

Honey, ain't no man definin' me. You neither. Just sayin.'

The older I get, the less I give..."

I agree

I think perhaps that having the cats re-enact scenes from your stitch n bitch might have been the absolute ultimate in internet-ness. haha. I can just see them with little needles attached to their paws. Alas, much like my beagle when I put her in a ladybug costume for Halloween, I somehow doubt they'd be amused! ;)

Hi Laurie,

I would (really) like to start attending Stich'n'Bitch meetings but (and this is stupid because I am not outwardly a shy person) I feel very shy about it. Is it really OK just to turn up? The reason I ask because I have not had the greatest experience with groups knitting in LYS. I figure the reason they completely ignore me is because, for the most part, the people sitting around knitting are paying to be taught to knit, and thus they don't need to deal with me (who alas can not afford to be a regular at any LYS), but it has left me weirdly anxious that it all seems very cliquey. That or I really am just invisible.