Of course the cats weight 65 lbs. Mine do.

I'm going to do some research on the pickle-smelling guy. There's gotta be some information out there somewhere.

But it's not pickles really, it's just vinegar, like VERY strong vinegar bad body odor. The only way I can describe it is... if you soaked all your clothes in vinegar and then wore them for two weeks straight with no bath. I actually had about six paragraphs describing it in detail then I realized that might not be the most compelling content ever. heh.

Sorry about the goshdarn #$@%^&*!!! triple post. Stoopid computer.

Please forgive me.

No problem! I deleted them... it was probably my fault anyway, I was updating a typo at the time you were posting. I blame it on the database gnomes.

Maybe he works in a pickle factory. Or - he works in a pickle factory and wears the same clothes everyday. Do guys douche? Just asking! I wonder if I would ever have enought nerve to come out and just ask him already why he smells like that. You could probably say it like ' do you guys smell that...it smells like vinegar" or something along that line. I guess you're in a pickle...

Perhaps the vinegar guy is trying a more natural method of washing his hair (using baking soda and apple cider vinegar...yeah, people do it) and didn't get the memo about it being apple cider not regular white. Or perhaps he's just crazy. You do live out there in LaLa land, after all. :)

Well, he takes the commuter bus and gets off near City Hall. As far as I know there are no vinegar-based industries there.

It's the weirdest thing. But I could never say something out loud, I would never want to embarrass him publicly or anything, that would be awful.

But it's not a *clean* vinegar small. It's toxic. It smells like... just bad. I don't know.

"I guess you're in a pickle.."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I just caught that part... heh. funny.

I think your cats weigh 75 lbs. Just a guess. That makes you much more svelte. My cat Stewie weighs about 100 lbs when I weigh us together. He's the fat one, not me.

Denial. It really is so much more than a river in Egypt.

One day I went to the ATM and as soon as I put the card in the machine I could literally feel my PIN number sliding out of my head.

And then it was gone.

For about six months at random intervals, a number would pop into my head and I would run over to the ATM thinking that maybe, just maybe I had remembered my PIN number, but nope. It never happened.

I did that, SERIOUSLY, for six months before I went to the bank to get a new ATM card. Why? Because the bank people are Mean and I knew they would think I was a Moron for forgetting my PIN and waiting six months to replace my card.

I did end up saving a hell of a lot of money, though.

Sounds a lot like me in the morning... I feel I should weigh myself on occasion, can't see the little numbers without my glasses, and then have a long conversation with myself about how much those frames actually weigh... Maybe if I didn't have to cart around these 15 pound glasses all the damn time, I might have some more energy... ya think? :) lol

And I think your cats are all simply divine, whatever their weight.

The Vinegar guy??? It could be worse. There are people on the subway in NYC that smell like POOP.

And they were always on my train, too.

you want some fun? the heck with cosy knitting spots, you should ask us all to send in a pic of our "offices." you first :)
I have no comment on pickle guy except that those 6 paragraphs might be some good reading. :)

Thanks for deleting the extras.

There are some imbalances in the body that contribute to intense body odor. Perhaps he's dealing with something like that.

Hard to know what to do in a case like this. Perhaps just keep driving to work. I would never be able to say anything to someone about stuff like that either.

I can't even remember my own phone number.

You know, there was a woman on Oprah or Phil Donahue years ago who had super offensive B.O. and it wasn't that she had poor hygiene... it was just some weird body chemical thing where her natural odour was strong and gross. It was very sad.

Oh. My. God. I have a 65 lb. cat as well! Who knew they were so common?

Did you hear Oz and Roizen talking about diets on the Diane Rehm show (NPR)? They praised Diane's lunch of three celery sticks stuffed with peanut butter. If I ever get to a state where I eat three celery sticks for lunch (stuffed or unstuffed), just shoot me. Please.

(Having said that, it sounds like these guys really have a handle on healthy food, and I'm gonna hafta read their book.)

My father-in-law is so mean to me about my cat. He is constantly telling me how fat she is and calls her "fat ass". He even goes to the trouble of picking her up and acting like he is trying to pick up an anvil.

It makes me angry, like he is verbal abusing my child. What kind of a freak am I?

Anne... The Oz/Roizen book at least made me feel that I could eat basically normal food (I am SO SICK of diets) and just focus on being healthy, not weight, and in the end at least I would have a better life from just being less transfatty. Know what I mean?

I'm just so tired of dieting. I need some kind of plan for living in the space *between* diets, which happens to be my whole life, mostly.

I'm in tears here from laughing so hard. I have several numbers that I chant to myself . . . zip code, home number, hubby's cell number, social security number (I'm a lawful permanent resident alien and only got the silly thing in September)pin number and in spite of all that, or perhaps because of, I still don't know my own cell number.
As for the smelly guy . . . words escape me.

Well that exlains it! I had no clue that I had hypergraphia and I am so relieved to be diagnosed. I think I'll call in claiming a hypergraphia episode tomorrow. Thank you so much!

Can we get disability for this?

I tried to call in fat once. It didn't get me a lot of sympathy.

Oh, and the cats?? Well, yeah. They're about 100 lbs each (weighing them one at a time of course). Yep. As soon as I have time, we're all going to ride bikes together and do Carmen Electra's strip aerobics.

*
You are delightful - I adore your blog.

*

For all of you with 65 lb. cats, I got one better...

I have a 65 lb rabbit. I checked.

(she's actually 11 lbs-yep, big bunny)

your cats don't look that big. We had a 35 pound cat. she was huge, but agile, she could still jump to the top of the fridge, but she made a gawdawful sound doing so. She had skillz. She also liked to wake me in the wee hours by calling me "rerin, rerin.)

My vet's office sent me a postcard encouraging me to sign my cat up for their weight loss contest. My cat weighs a lot and as I keep telling my vet she has issues and we got her from the humane society this way. Anyway, I could have gotten a pedometer to tell how many steps she walks every day. Because my eleven year old cat who sleeps all day and has to lay down to eat out of her food dish is curious to know if she has reached her step goal every day. Needless to say the postcard went in the trash.

I LOVE cats and can't have one because our highly-strung dog would give it a heart attack. So, I really like seeing pix of your cats and never thought they were anything but scrumptious soft with great faces. Your cats and cat-momming are a wonderful read; I get vicarious cat moments (which are VERY different than dog moments).

Vinegar guy probably has a chemical imbalance thingy going on, but that would also make me ill of a bus-ride in the early morning.

I have thought about the imbalance thing, with the smell, especially because it is so unusual. I guess part of the thing that makes me feel mean is that (since this isn't a normal BO smell) he likely does have an issue. But he also doesn't look like he's very interested in personal grooming or bathing regularly, either. So I feel bad (the basic issue is probably not his fault) then I feel mad (but hey! shouldn't you at least TRY to bathe or something?)

This is why I really need to take the 6:15 bus.

Years ago in New Orleans I got on the same streetcar almost every morning with a guy who FARTED all the way downtown. Every coupla minutes, "BRRRAAPPPP!"

I suspected he thought the streetcar ran on methane. He had a job downtown -- he always had on a nice suit and good shoes, and had a briefcase and was otherwise well-groomed and all that. He got ON the streetcar in a fairly affluent area and got OFF at Baronne Street, which is a very businessy part of downtown, with tall buildings where the sun never hits the sidewalk.

The only thing I could think of was maybe he was DEAF and flatulent, and maybe he thought he was sneaking them by when he most certainly was not.

As for Vinegar Man -- seriously -- do you have a nuisance skunk problem in LA? Skunks nesting up in garages, etc., like racoons do here in Louisiana? Does Animal Control help with that? Maybe he was an Animal Services Officer and gets skunked on a regular basis, requiring an acid-based dousing to semi-deodorize. (Guess how I know).

My son had a friend that reeked like that. He sweated a lot (swamp-ass). He also did his own laundry, poorly. Never used hot water and his clothes smelled like a dishcloth that's been wet way too long. Bleach is sometimes our friend. Maybe bus guy doesn't believe in it?

Of course it could be his own version of keeping people at bay....

Re: Vinegar guy. I find it very odd that a man that smells so bad actually has a job. One would think that his boss or co-workers would let him know that he is aromatically challenged. I say we (read: you)find out what his name is and find out where he gets on the bus...then we (read: you) get on the bus before him with a gift basket full of: Tide, Downey, Fabreze, Irish Spring, Crest, Lavoris, extra strength Mitchum and Old Spice all wrapped up real pretty. Write a note telling him it's from all of friends on the 6:45. Ask the bus driver to give it to him. Los Angeles bus drivers are all so nice and personable that I'm sure they will play along.

Back to reality...
Once I forgot my PIN number and thus couldn't get money out of the bank to purchase the last minute train ticket for my fiance to get back to the Navy ship he was stationed on and thus I had to drive him to San Diego from the valley, in the middle of the night, and be back in time to go to work the next day. I have had my pin # written down ever since.

Not remembering the zipcode is not Alzeihmers. I can't remember my ATM pin number unless their is a number pad in front of me. I tried to tell my husband the number once and I gave him two different numbers either it was abcd or adcb. I couldn't tell him which one. They both seemed correct. I don't enter it in wrong at the machine so I do know it.
My dad can't tell you people's phonenumbers without a phone in hand. Then he can rattle of lots of peoples. Found this out when I volunteered to program his cell phone. Gave him an old phone, and he looked at the key pad and knew all of the numbers he was struggling with before.
At a gas station you are not expecting to know your zip code. I have also move enough in the past 3 years that I have to write out the full address to tell you what the last zip code was.

Puddy 22 lbs
Leon 19 lbs
Spot 6 lbs

Obviously my boys are big boned. My girl cat is a delicate flower. I have done the step on the scale with and without the cat....pretty eye opening, indeed.

I had to give a doctor my home address today and I completely forgot it. I've lived there a WHOLE YEAR and stared at the women like she was speaking Swahili... I had to laugh when I saw I'm not alone!

Maybe you can start making pickles off the fumes alone... start carrying cucumbers in a jar and see if it works. You could make a fortune off "6:45 Bus Pickles."

I had a bad scale experience earlier this week - I don't blame you for not stepping on. I stepped on by accident and will have nightmares for months.

I have smelled weird vinegary people before too, on the bus, as a matter of fact! It is puzzling how they can make themselves stink like that... it doesn't smell natural or human. Maybe they are aliens.

Your cat weighing story made me snort at my desk at work. Hee!

My husband can't remember our zip code or our phone number. We had a huge fight one night when he came home at midnight to find me climbing the walls thinking he was dead. He'd had a work dinner, but didn't call because HE COULDN'T REMEMBER OUR HOME PHONE NUMBER (and didn't have his cell phone with him). Now I make him carry a card in his wallet with all our numbers on it, like a little kid. He also can't remember how old he is, and always has to ask me. He's not addle-brained, but these little details will just not stick in his brain.

I looked at reliable sources like WebMD and the Mayo Clinic and couldn't find anything about vinegar body smells. You're not paranoid or judgmental to stay the heck away from the guy: vinegar/acetic acid is one of the ingredients for meth. It was dismayingly easy to find a recipe for meth on the internets.

Propensity for Immensity: my three kittens doubled in weight over the past month. My weight didn't double over the holidays but it's not for lack of trying.

How on earth did you find out about Virginia Ridley? I was intrigued, and googled her. What a story! Kind of like Flannery O'Conner meets Eugene Walter. Whoa, nellie! I especially liked the part about cockroaches crawling out of her husband's briefcase at the trial....

Marcia, I know, the whole story of the trial is crazy. It's so... exactly the very picture of my life that I hope never comes true LOL. I found out about her because I have a personal interest in hypergraphia. You know, crazy loves crazy.

p.s. Here is the URL for the Alvin Ridley trial info, it's very ... southern nutty:

http://jack-warner.com/village_eccentric_on_trial.htm

Any chance I could borrow your hypergraphia for a while - say until Monday when I have two big deadlines that I have no actual chance of meeting unless I stop sleeping between now and then? I promise I will give it back...

Whaddya expect? They're all Pi fans!

Brain cells come and go but fat cells live FOREVER.

Please stop making me laugh out loud at work!! The big boss had his sense of humor removed and none of us are allowed to use ours because he is jealous!!

BTW, I am in love with BOB!!

Forgetting zips or other numbers isn't alzheimers, it's a context issue. How often do you just spit out your zip code?

And don't worry about the cats. People are weird. My Aunt spent all of Christmas talking about how much bigger my 7 year old lab is than the last time she saw her. I bit my tongue and didn't tell Auntie she was bigger too....

stank a$$ bus people are the worse. everyone is held hostage by the reek.

*ugh*

I hear you on the breakfast issue. I get up at 5 a.m. I have learned to make do with coffee at that hour and eat oatmeal from the company cafeteria at 8 a.m. I just had 1 oz of pistachios for my mid-morning snack and I'm good now until lunch.(Yes, I counted out 49 of those suckers and put them in a bag this weekend)

What has been working for me - FINALLY, something that WORKS! - is writing down what I eat, then entering it in a spreadsheet - fat, calories, carbs, protein, da works. It obliterates all "magical thinking" - you know, where you convince yourself that that slice of cheesecake doesn't really count because you skipped breakfast. It's a pain in the butt to do it, but I figure I'm retraining a lifetime's worth of bad eating habits, so it should be a bit of a bother. Still, that daily reinforcement really works.

(I'm doing a modified Zone. So far, so good - I'm still on the darn thing and I don't feel lightheaded, weird or hungry. I walk 3 miles to work every day, and still wasn't losing any weight so this is nice to see the scale actually inching down.)

Now if I can just apply that process to eliminate "magical thinking" when it comes to my budget!

Re: smelly guy. His coworkers may not know how to tell him he's smelly.

I think it may be more like 70 pounds.

Well, SOME people actually have an illness that makes them sweat profusely, so maybe this guy is a poor victim. BO is nasty though, wether it's from no bathing or from a disease. I'd avoid that bus, too!

I never fail to snort at my desk when I peruse your blog. Thanks for making me have to buy a new keyboard since this one has coffee all over it now due to my excessive laughing!

Thank you for making me laugh. I really needed it. I love your blog.

Those are the most dense cats I have ever seen! 65 lbs fit in a kitty pi, that is amazing. I think (hope) my cats weigh closer to 75 pounds.

We haven't met, but I love you!

I once worked for an editor who had decided to eat eight raw cloves of garlic after dinner the previous evening. Just for fun, I guess! Over the next day the odor, which emanated from every pore of his body, became so bad that he had to work in his own office with the door shut, and call me if he wanted to talk to me. Or anyone else in the building.

A few months ago I had to confess to my husband that I had forgotten the PIN number for the debit card. He told it to me, but said it was a number I had come up with based on when I graduated from high school. Hmm, it doesn't bear any resemblance to that number. So now who's forgetting what?

Reminds me of the retort I learned in Mexico: "...la tuya en vinagre..."

I don't think people should pass judgment on the weight of your cats! They're cute, they're cats, and the camera adds 10 lbs. I'm thankful my 3 cats in 3 sizes are healthy and purr when I get home from work. Isn't that why we have cats?

Maybe everyone on the bus can get together and do an intervention with this guy. It is possible that telling him he stinks will totally change his life.

I did a 2 year psychology fellowship at a children's hospital. As part of our training, we had to do a rotation in the endocrine outpatient clinic (like, what does that have to do with psychology???). But. There are some actual metabolic diseases that cause nauseating BO - sometimes like vinegar, sometimes like ammonia, and even like rotten meat. We could smell the odors long after the people had left. At least one of these disorders is genetic. Poor personal hygeine, while not helping the situation, doesn't make the smell any worse, and all of the soap, perfume, deodorant etcetcetc do no good at masking the odor. Chances are excellent this poor guy knows he smells really bad, so CAP's instinct to not say anything is very compassionate. As far as how he has a job...he may be covered by the Americans with Disabilites Act.

Because we had to choice while working at the at the hospital, I would dab a little Vick's around my nostrils so I could tolerate the smell and still keep smiling!)

Facts aside, I'm really enjoyin' the pickle jokes!

Also, when it's winter, and the fur gets thicker and fluffier, cats definitely weigh more - at least 653's more!

1) If I had a cat he'd weigh 100 pounds. There must be one hiding in my clothes somewhere, I'm sure...

2) Over Christmas, when visiting my side of the family, I discovered my aunt had bought a book from one of those cheap book shops in town about the many uses and properties of vinegar. Now wait, please before you get scared of me. One of the suggested uses of vinegar is a deodorant. The big thing is that it doesn't actually stop the user from sweating, but it is supposed to get rid of the sweat smell. Maybe your guy is a new age type or excessively environmentally and health conscious kind of geezer and is utilising the planet's vinegar resources instead of using evil cancerous anti perspirants. With more research, I see it is also usable as an aftershave and an age spot treatment! Are you tempted yet?

Or maybe he just smells :D But still, you learnt something about vinegar. What more could you possibly want?

I tried googling the vinegar problem and got scads of links to using vinegar to combat body odor. I did, however, get one hit for someone who talks about a coworker who has a similar problem. Apparently, bus guy is not alone!

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/biology/b103/f02/web2/mbrown.html

Well, now you have to STALK Mr. rotten-pickle-in-a-sweatsock to satisfy our collective nosiness! Or you could accidentally spill a quart of "Febreze" on him at the bus stop.

If you have a digital scale you could close your eyes, tare the scale, then pick up the cat. Voila, cat weight.

"Why are you making us eat off this weird plate in the bathroom?" I had to laugh when I read this part. I tried this at the vet to get my dog on the scale, he stretched out and daintily took the treat off the scale and then gave me that exact look.

As for everyone wondering why this guy's co-workers don't tell him.... well I work with a really smelly guy. I've only been here 6 months so I've not said anything but everyone here - and in our happy hour group - won't tell him because they think he won't care. I sometimes avoid happy hours so I don't get stuck downwind. It's a shame as he's a really interesting guy to hang out with, but the smell is horrible. I don't know if it's lack of bathing or lack of clean clothes, but it's gross.

I vote that your reeking bus guy has a laundry problem. I smell what I suspect is that same stench when on the machines close to certain guys at the gym. Even before they work up a sweat, they stinkstinkstink. So badly that I will quit my workout and move away (yeah, I know, any excuse to leave the elliptical machine).

I think that
1) they aren't using hot water for washing; and
2) they are skimping on the detergent.

BO buildup in clothing is SO not sexy.

Re: The zip code thing....I think you're in denial. You think you live in the Encino zip code, but secretly it's a realtor's lie! Sorry, I had to say it.

L.A. Ell

Too damn funny. My cat is really heavy too. Yes my cat. It's all the cat...

I'm thinking my cat should go to the gym with me now. ;^)

You're cats are not fat. They are bodacious and juicy.

Oops. I meant YOUR cats...d'oh!

All I can say is stories like Virginia Ridley is why I love the South......

First "rotten pickle in a gym sock" I put my head down on my desk laughing hysterically and a coworker asked me if I was okay. She thought I was crying. Then "taking cucumbers on the bus..." I had to run to the bathroom to try and calm down. STOP IT YOU GUYS.

pin numbers:

My husband's pin number is what he thinks is his sister's birthday, but he's wrong.

And he says *I'm* nuts because I can't remember it.

I am a native of Georgia and I've never heard of the Virginia Ridley case. Wow.

For the past 7 years, I've worked at a law firm which handles high profile/celebrity divorces (yes, we actually have some celebrities in Georgia though you might not think that). I could certainly share some Southern nuttiness when it comes to divorces. But then I'd get fired. Think "Snakes on a Plane" only change it to "Snakes in an SUV" among many other stories I've seen around here.

Oh and "Mindless Eating: Why we eat more than we think" by Brian Wansink is an excellent, thoughtful book to read for those of us who are... food challenged.

I have a ferret who is getting mighty close to the 65 pounds...

Ok maybe not. But he has to get weighed on a regular scale at the vets and thats sorta scary.

Um, when you go to clean out your office, just don't get lost in there. I don't mean its that bad in there (but how would I know, I am on the East Coast) but don't get distracted. Focus on one area at a time. One drawer of a filing cabinet. One area of the desk. You may not get through the whole thing, but at least you will know something got done.

I have been reading your blog for over year, and compared to some of what you have went through, this will be easy, right?

As for the vinegar guy? No clue.

Thanks for the laugh . . . 65lb cat indeed!

my boss smells like vinegar sometimes. today, in fact. it's a smell that gags me. one of the other guys here actually tells him to go home and bathe. (of course, that guy's out today) it's not a medical condition for him, he's just lazy. and it is an awful smell, i have to put my hand over my nose and breathe thru my mouth on those days.

a joke about a job at a pickle factory:
a guy got a job at a pickle factory, and came home and told his wife that the job was ok, but he had an almost uncontrollable urge to stick his *ick in the pickle slice. his wife got upset, took him for months of counseling, thought he'd gotten over the problem. one day he came home and told her he'd done it, he'd stuck his *ick in the pickle slicer.
wife: omg, what happened?
him: we both got fired.

(laugh, y'all!)

Yer blog done et my comment. But here was the gist: knit up a swatchette that uses colored rows that corresponds to the numbers in your PIN. So a PIN of 3542 would have 3 rows of color A, 5 rows of color B, 4 rows of color C and 2 rows of color D. I came up with this when my brain was fried from chemo and I got tired of weeping in front of the ATM.

So quick to judge;
Maybe vinegar man worked at a french frie factory? Maybe he was high up on the french frie factory ladder. Maybe he even owned said french frie factory.

You could have hooked up. (and the rest would be gravy).

Ba dum bum.

I almost always need a second breakfast, but apparently it is a Good Thing to eat more of your calories earlier in the day. I just have to remember to keep yogurts at work, which is the tricky part. I don't think eating more of your calories in the days is as good when they're all in the form of York peppermint patties.

Then again, he might work at the Massengill factory. :(

Ah, Laurie, this is why I love to read your blog. :) And I have never thought that your cats were fat, well loved, but healthy and most certainly not fat.

Oh, and I second the "Mindless Eating" recommendation. It's not a diet book at all. It actually reads a lot like Malcolm Gladwell.

I forgot to ask you if you have read Eugene Walter's biography. Its entitled "Milking the Moon," and boyoboy its a study in general southern nuttiness (but it a good, funny way).

I work with a guy with horrible body odor and have a very sensitive sense of smell, so I definitely feel your pain on that one. He's an older guy with many personality quirks and we all feel a little like we need cater to his oddness in order to not hurt his feelings so no one's ever come right out and said anything. On days that it's really bad we do make comments about a wierd odor in the room wondering what it is, and he always has some excuse, so he has to know it's him! Seriously, how many dead mice could there be behind the refrigerator! Usually that gets him to shower that evening so we have a couple day repreive before it builds back up again. Ughh.

So now you all know how my Tuesday was.

Oh, and I've changed ATM cards several times because of forgotten PINs, starting at age 18! Done that thing at the gas pump before too. Felt pretty stupid when the pump locked up on me when I entered it wrong too many times and had to go inside the little hut and explain to the lady.

Sometimes I forget my pin #. And then I try to look cool, calm, collected, and effervescent while inside I'm panicking and imagining that the clerk thinks I've stolen this nice lady's card and is about to call the police. It's especially embarrassing when aquaintances are standing around. :-)

Either your blog hates me and won't let me comment, or you hate me and are moderating my comments!

Oh my goodness you are hilarious!

Of course that is the comment that goes through! Let me try this again. My husband and I got into a fight at a shoe store when the cashier asked for my zip code. We finally just had to tell her 5 random numbers. Later, we looked at our drivers' licenses, and we had both been wrong. And I have forgotten my phone number on multiple occasions. You are not alone!

I have an extraordinary coincidence to report: here on the right-hand coast we also have 65-pound cats. Even a little heavier, maybe. Do you want to email Animal Planet, or should I?

Does Vinegar Guy always use the same seat on the bus? Maybe you could leave a little gift-wrapped package of fancy (or not fancy) soap on it, with a card "from all of us."

Kouros has begun to gain weight because we've started feeding him more. I know, duh, right? But he refused to let us sleep past 4am because he wanted to be eating. And he scavenged around the floor, trying to eat anything that was on it... which is bad for someone who sweeps as seldomly as I do. So I guess I really don't care if he's a big cat. I get to sleep longer, my husband gets to sleep longer, and the cat's happier. And cuddlier. I heart 65lb cats.

I remember numbers pretty well, but names? Not so much. I embarrass myself regularly with that.

I nearly chocked on my apple when I read about you weighing your cats. Too funny! I threw my scale out (seriously, it lives at the dump now) a long time ago. I now live at the perpetual weight of 130lbs.

I knew a kid in jr high who had one of those chemical problems - he didn't stink, but his sweat would bleach anything he touched. Weirdest thing I ever saw.

As for vinegar guy... I knew a guy who smelled like raw sewage. I still gag thinking about it.

fat cat gets stuck:

http://tinyurl.com/wgfyk

but i bet he doesn't smell funky!

Obviously, being obese is as bad for an animal's health as it is for a person's, but your cats don't look fat to me. Of course, maybe that's because I have a fairly large cat. When I was worried that he might actually be fat, my vet told me how to tell. It works equally well for cats or dogs. If you can see the animals ribs, he's too thin, if you can't feel his ribs, he's too fat. Of course, if the animal is really fuzzy, it's harder to tell, you have to go strictly by feel. You should be able to feel the ribs with slight pressure but they shouldn't prominent without any pressure.

I once forgot how to spell my married name in the middle of signing a check. I wasn't even close to being newly married at the time either.

no worries, your cats do not look so big...

really, they don't look big at all. one of my cats (PJ) is gishmantic. he's bigger than one of my dogs.

Omg, I'm glad I'm not the only one with a bad memory! But mine extends to faces and names and it's SO embarrassing! Especially with people that I know but that are out of their element like when a coworker is shopping at the same place as me, etc. I walk right past these people and they're calling out my name and it's like I suddenly wake from a dream and recognize them. I feel so bad! And I don't know my hubby's cell phone unless I'm calling it or my own unless I'm writing it down. And even then I don't remember it and I've had the same number for years.

If Bob is big-boned then my Teddy is, too, heh. He has a fluffy tummy like Bob. Instead of "secretary's spread" he has "lazy indoor cat spread". hehehe

I heart all your kitties, especially Bob and Roy!

OMG, I'm sitting at work hurting myself by trying not to laugh out loud and tears are coming out of my eyes. I had your same cat weighing experience, but with my child in the pediatrician office. Said child did not want to stand on the scale (in the main nursing station area with 15 million doctors and nurses standing around) so "could I please get on the scale with her then without her" and they would subtract my weight. I immediately knelt and promised my daughter french fries and any toy she wanted if she got on the scale by herself!

I had a friend riding the bus to school (USC) and a homeless guy got on the bus. Went to one of the seats towards the back, took a dump on the seat, then got off on the next stop.

It can always get worse! he he

I knew I was getting old and failing the day I caught myself moving something away so I could read it.

Now as for my mind. I forget my zip and phone all the time. I think it is because my brain is full of lyrics from 80s songs. As illustrated last night by the fact that I couldn't remember the word perfunctory but knew every lyric to some random Icicle Works song I haven't heard since 1989.

Gads.

Icicle Works! Whisper to a Scream! I love that song....

(yes, see? I can remember that, but stumble when you ask me my social security number. *sigh*)

I like stinky stuff, especially when I can roll in it.

Daisy

Ha! That is the best cat-weighing method I've ever heard of. Awesome.

As far as dementia goes I've got y'all beat:

I'm still writing 1988 on my checks. And I am SO not kidding.

I saw the Virginia Ridley case on American Justice. I felt so sorry for Alvin; he lost his precious wife and had to deal with being charged with her murder.

Does anyone else besides me have a wicked crush on Bill Kurtis from A&E's AJ??

Told you they looked huge! The scale never lies.

Don't forget the camera adds at least 10 pounds...Those cats are probably wasting away! They need more greenies!

Oh MAN!
I SO feel for you!
I had to take a class with an Egyptian professor who considers the quaint American customs of daily bathing and deodorant below his dignity to notice...and YEECCHH! Even with the lab exhaust fans on HIGH we'd still smell him from across the room!
No high school or middle school teacher would be allowed to do that. Why don't college and businesses actually PUT good grooming rules in as requirements for employment or tenure no matter how brillant or "quirky" people are??

If your cats are fat, then mine is, well, beyond that. But I will say this ... Creepy can still climb a tree like a squirrel and run like a rocket throught the house. I just tell her she's fluffy. She doesn't care, she knows she looks good.

You know, the stinky guy story reminded me of a girl I met years ago in college...she rented a room in the house I was staying in a week or two before I moved out...she smelled like peppermint, and it wasn't her soap or shampoo or anything else she used. She just smelled like peppermint. Much better than vinegar.

I'm a bus rider too. There is always one smelly man. I just take out a little spritz bottle of perfume and spray it as discreetly as possible on myself. Sort of an innoculation against the funk if you will.

I don't think your guys are fat at all! Of course, we didn't think that some of our guys had a weight issue til they went to the vet last year. Seems that living with 2 ginormous cats (26 & 36+ lbs) can skew one's perspective.

The trick is not to think about it, when you get on the scale, or you can probably, you know, make it 20kg (I don't know lbs, all we have here is metric system, sorry about that) less, so that you don't know how much it is you really weigh...
About fat cats, just take a look at mine... this picture was taken 4 years ago, and it got much worse since...
http://www.wistiti.fr/wistiti/fr_fr/asp/album/Diaporamafullpage.asp?Album=ya0001YHbWc67/2/MZaDJ&Image=ya0001YHbWD1012200615144814.jpg

oops, didn't work... sorry about that...

OK, it's a good thing that my office is dead right now (and I'm in the back corner), because I almost choked on laughter.

My hubby and I (and a ton of other people we know) are all trying to lose weight (hardly a surprise) and record our weight drops in cat units, specifically our cat. Saru-chan is a 12 pound cat also on a perpetual diet, but I've lost more than 4 of her.

You can lose a cat too. Just put them on the floor and immediately you're trim.

"Denial. It really is so much more than a river in Egypt." Love this!!! [Because I live in Denialville - and now I have a river, a big one, running through!]

I think forgetfulness comes because you are just too darn busy (too many facts and to-do lists to remember). Lately I have taken to forgetting my pin number which I have had and known forever. I keep switching two numbers, and my zip code just comes and goes - sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't. LOL. I say I am just too busy and important to remember mere numbers (See? Denialville).

Oh, and kitties are supposed to be fat and sassy aren't they?

This is all making sense to me. My EGO weighs sixty-five pounds; it rides the bus in smelly socks. So that's where it goes when I meditate. Darned fatheaded ego.

I love office supplies and I hoard yellow stickies in all sizes and colors.

I used to work with a vinegar smelling guy. It was because he would drink himself into a stupor and then sleep under a bush before coming to work. nice

Forgetfulness _and_ naked in public:

Spent half an hour on a treadmill. _OPENED_ my locker, stashed nasty smelly clothes in bottom of locker. _Closed and Locked_ locker. Grabbed showerkit and had well earned reviving shower with expensive fruity showergel. Got back to locker wrapped in towel and flipflops.

...and whooooooosh went the combination out of my head.

Fair warning: a lurker is coming out. But I couldn't resist after all the pickle jokes, because I remember (how? after forgetting my own phone # just yesterday) a pickle limerick:
Let us now broach a firkin to Durkin,
Addicted to jerkin' his gherkin,
His wife said, "Now Durkin,
By jerkin' yer gherkin,
Yer shirkin yer firkin, you bastard."

People that have mental disorders, like serious ones, tend to smell like vinegar and/or pickles. I don't know why, but they do.

I get up at 5am and I, too, get hungry at 9:00.

I always take lunch at 11:00 and people look at me funny.

I got on the scale with my (imaginary) kitty and he/she must weigh 80 lbs.!

My cats aren't fat, they're voluptuous.

You are just so funny. Your writing is great.

I just had to do the Wiegh-the-cats-Weigh-myself thing because one of the Furries has a bladder issue that we're resovling by diet, blah blah blah, nightmare feeding time, etc etc etc... and Yeah, I now know my own weight. However, I had to do this with all 3 cats and my scale came up with THREE DIFFERENT WEIGHTS FOR ME!! and it varied by 10 pounds!?! ARGH!!! So I added the 10lbs to my fattest cat. Poor Fred. He's fat!

Thank you, sweet Laurie, for making me laugh today! I really needed it. I think your kitties are beautiful - maybe they just have short legs, so look a bit wider in comparison.

About the smelly guy - I worked with a guy who had that same vinegar problem. The only thing is, I have a very bad sense of smell when it comes to BO. (I can smell food, dirty litterboxes, stinky cheese, just not BO. So I would talk to this guy at work (he was my Dad's age) and he was always so friendly to me...and everyone around me would be dying,with eyes watering, choking, etc. I'm sure the man was starved for conversation. But now I am wondering if I have BO or not - how would I ever know?

I think my cat must weigh something like that, too ... he certainly feels the same way about greenies. As for the zip code thing, I always used to confuse zip codes and area codes in my head, and never remember which was which. Must be code-dyslexia.

They arent fat, just a little thick. Nothing wrong with that.

For your organizational/cleaning dilemma, try www.flylady.net.
She will email daily to give you hints on decluttering and will give you a chore. It really helps. (Believe me I know with 2 messy dogs, 3 messier kids, and a hubby)

I have a persistent inability to keep my home and work zip codes straight. I always give my home zip, even when rattling off the work address, so things regularly bounce back & forth between 2 cities that are 35 miles apart. UPS loves me.

Quick fix for weighing the kitties (if you really want to know what they weigh...).

Every cat I have ever met LOVES jumping in the laundry basket, regardless of whether there's laundry in it or not. So put the laundry basket on the scale. Most of them weigh about 2-3 pounds. If necessary, toss a greenie in the basket. Never have to look at your own weight again.

A book to consider reading on the 6:45....When a Gene Makes You Smell Like a Fish. That's a real title and great information. The other BO smells are probably similar.

ZIP code is on your driver's license... I had to dig it out once .....just so you know.

Albert Einstien didn't know his home phone number...said he didn't need to know it...just where to look it up......

#6 is genius...pure, unadulterated genius. My cat weighs (at least!) 65 lbs too.

I used to know a guy who smelled rather like that. We were all very confused until someone stayed over at his house and witnessed the guy's cat getting on his chest and spraying him. Now, either the cat was objecting to the smell, or that was its origin, we weren't sure. I choose to believe it was the cat's fault. Y'ever try to get that smell out of things?

I was a 2 time divorcee with 3 cats...and wrangled a great man - the cats must be sexy!

In case you need any post divorce info, please check out my new website and blog.

www.themodernwomansdivorceguide.com
www.moddivorce.typepad.com

Best,
Helene

Tomorrow I am de-cluttering my basement.
As an electronics technician with a 20'x25' finished basement ..KNEE DEEP in collected devices and circuits in need of repair ...( or chock full of cool parts ) ... this is a DRAMA FILLED event for me.
I subscribe to the philosophy that " junk " is the stuff you throw out ...the DAY BEFORE you NEED IT ....( or find out that someone on e-bay just paid a jazillion $$ for the exact same thingie ) ... but tomorrow IS the day I get re-introduced to the floor of my basement.
" I feel your pain "
*********
idea
*********
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER step on the scale WITHOUT a cat in your arms !!!
Pick up each cat ..in it's turn ..and write the number down .
Then ...divide by the NUMBER Of CATS ...
THEN subtract the " proper " weight for yourself !
The RESULT is ...you get the "AVERAGE CAT WEIGHT" !
*************
You really gotta' keep the SCIENCE correct here !
:-P

Darling, take it from me, that is not vinegar you're smelling. It's stale urine. As in peed his shorts and hasn't changed them since Moses was a baby. Of all the exotic aromas I encounter in my line of work, the tart smell of old pissy pants is the only one which will make me hurl pretty much every time.

Ah, and I bet he's got a mildew problem, to boot. Hmm, makes me almost wax nostalgic about the scent of a GI bleed.

Y'know, your cats really don't look all that big to me. Just, y'know, cat sized.

Of course, my babies weigh 15.5 (Fred) and 11 (Padma) pounds, and are supposed to be on diets, so what do I know?

They're long-haired, though, so I just tell them they aren't fat, they're fluffy. *nods* Very, very fluffy.

ROFL your comBLOGedy is as essential as my morning Starbucks! laughoutloud funny!

*idea* you could go through 2-3 years of your most popular posts, dig out all of the hysterical or terribly unique comments, cut and paste for several hours, and Voila! your book, c'est fini! I would SO buy it!

A kitty question: Does this happen to you? Whenever I close the bathroom door (in my 11 inch square "guest powder room" off the foyer), my cat NEVER fails to be immediately on the other side, sticking his paw under the half inch crack under the door, giving the finger to all the invisible potty monsters in there with me. He could be in Kansas when I head toward the bathroom, but once the door is closed and I ascend the throne, WHOOSH there he is with his shoulder crammed up against the door if...I...could...just...reach...in...further...

oh, to be inside the Feline Brain...

OK, this has nothing to do with your post. I relax, when not knitting, hanging out playing violent computer games with a bunch of guys. There's nothing like dismembering a few bad guys to make you feel better about your coworkers.

It happened to come up last night that I made a reference to your blog. The next thing I know, THREE big strong manly geeks have been addicted to ya, girly! One even changed his homepage to your blog because 'nothing's sexier than a blonde divorcee with cats'. They agree with me.. if you don't have a book deal, you should go shopping for one.

There must be a few cats hiding out in my p.j.s when I weigh myself! I hear you on the zip code thing. I can never remember just the last four digits of my social. I always have to say the whole number.

You never fail to make me laugh out loud. No wonder my coworkers think I'm crazy.

Just a thought, although it would interfere with your "stop buying crap" goal: purchase an infant scale. They work up to 44 lbs. and are therefore perfect for weighing cats. I had to get one so I can closely monitor the weight of one of my cats (she's sick, so I have to make sure she doesn't waste away while I'm not looking). That way, there is no need to face the number that supposedly represents your own weight.

Or? Just wait until your next vet visit. Surely they'll tell you if your darling felines have had too much bacon. (IMHO, they're all beautiful and quite healthy looking. But then, when my big girl is healthy, she's typically 14-15 lbs, so what do I know?)

Ha ha, for my New Year's resolution I am putting the cat on a diet. I figured it was easier this way.

Could you step on the scale with one cat (your 'control' cat) write that number down, then step back on with a cat under each arm - difference is weight of cat? Repeat for 3 cats, then change 'control' cat for the remaining cat.
I'd try that with my cats but they don't like each other so it could be painful. All I would know is they are NotTooManyToFightKG. Sorry, lbs.

I just love your blog! I look forward to it every day--it's like we share the same brain, and the same problem with the 65 lb cat...one of my 3 is a little on the "wider than tall" side. Thanks for such a great, honest, open, and hilarious blog!

Our oldest cat is diabetic and takes thyroid medication, so we have to weigh him every week to make sure he hasn't dropped enough weight to change his insulin dosage. Not only do I have to write down the real number, I have to face that number every week. Gah.

My "baby" Maine Coon hovers around 18 lbs, and my little tortie is 6.4 lbs. Like Sobakowa, the dainty little princess rules the house. Body weight evidently has little to do with whapping power.

As long as they're healthy and don't make you lift them onto the bed (ahem-guilty, but he's old), I wouldn't worry too much about their weight.

Oh, and I completely forgot my phone number on the first day of high school. We were filling out the emergency contact cards, and the phone number I'd had since I was seven was just gone. Way to look intelligent, there.

A day late, but we also have a Maine Coon who should weigh 30 lbs as a male, but is skinny at 22. And the vet says he's heavy. I didn't think your cats were big at all.

I understand fat cats; I had one that weighed 82 lbs using your methods of weighing, addding and subtracting...ha! BTW, item 5 on your list shines some light (excuse the pun) on Stephen King and Jack in The Shining, hypergraphia indeed!

My big guy, the diabetic who currently resides with my mom, weighs something like 22 pounds. He is not a Maine coon, although he is big boned.

The smaller cat, Joe, who weighed roughly 10 pounds the whole time the big guy lived with us, apparently has decided he likes having all the food to himself and now weighs 14. That's 4 pounds he's gained in three months, since the other went to live with Mom.

You're right, all cats weigh 62 pounds.

Those cats looks just puuurrrrfect!!!! And I really liked the basket the one was curling into.By the way, I sit knitting by the fireplace in a cold, for the time being snowy Norway, it's dark outside and cozy inside! But the temp. is at freezing point...our two cats has to stay in the barn with the sheep, poor things.Your blog is great! Marit

I have a 20 pound, jet black cat who has no eyelids. (He was born without them). He looks like he's startled all the time. He loves hanging out in our attic, which has a secret door into my office. Usully he walks down the attic steps and pushes his weight against the door until it opens. Yesterday, something must have scared him, because he ran down the steps hurled himself at the door and came flying out. It was the funniest looking thing ever!

I wish I could sit and write 3000 words, although that sounds like a lot of editing. I'm one of those writers who takes 4 hours for a paragraph - too Type A along the way!
Helene
www.themodernwomansdivorceguide.com
www.moddivorce.typepad.com

Oh, yeah, I've done the cats in my arms and weigh myself dance. Right now I'm in a place with 2 moderately sized pussycats, pretty normal, but it's just scary when I'm holding them and standing on the scale!

Thanks for making me laugh! I haven't smelled a guy that smelled like pickles, but I used to work with a guy who smelled like metal. It was so odd.

Honey, this is a fat cat:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070112/ap_on_fe_st/fat_cat_2

When I was little my mother used to rinse my hair with a vinegar/water mixture because she hated me and wanted me to be as repulsive as possible, apparently. I smelled like a salad.

You are so. Freaking. Hilarious. This is probably the only time I will ever realize the desire to own my own 65-pound cat.

Forgotten PIN as an awkward situation? I was in the bookstore yesterday and forgot my wallet and really needed a book. I saw this girl who had been on my dorm floor all last year and we hung out and studied together. I needed this book, so had to ask her for money and then call her later to return it. Try calling someone's room/house and only knowing that their name starts with a K...maybe...

Ah, Virginia Ridley. Talk about your Southern Gothic. There are many more stories where that one came from.

Why not weigh yourself with the cats all the time... that way you'll always have a 65lb cat to blame. I do it with my overweight terrier, and she doesn't mind the blame at all - I still get as many doggy kisses as before! (Notice that SHE'S the overweight one!)

I learn so much from you -- never heard of hypergraphia or Virginia Ridley before today. Or 65-pound cats, for that matter.

Oh, and since we're talking bad bus experiences....

I used to ride the bus to work every day, and there was a guy on it with some kind of emotional disorder who used to stick his head out the window and scream nonsense at other drivers when traffic was bad. He was a regular rider -- held some kind of job downtown, amazingly. If he didn't shut up when people told him to settle down, the bus driver would then have to stop the bus and threaten to kick him off before he'd shut up. What a joy that was. I avoided that particular bus whenever possible.

I used to work with someone who had the vinegar smell. He was an alcoholic and the smell (which was really bad in the mornings) was his body metabolizing all the alcohol from the previous night.

My colleague dried out for a period of time - no smell then. Then he fell off the wagon and the smell was back.

Love your writing. I know a huge fat cat named Bob too. He's kinda shaped like a man though - http://www.bobbarama.com

Here's what I do to weigh my cats. Put the bathroom scale on a stool placed in the middle of the floor. Scoop up a cat. Stand where you can see the dial and set the cat on the scale. Kitty will briefly be in shock and you'll be able to get a weight before Kitty jumps down. The trick is to put the scale where there's nothing else to stand on and where you can easily read the weight.

BTW, I've read that if you can feel Kitty's ribs, she's not too fat.