I am peeing my pants because farting makes me laugh, too!

Congrats on the nomination! I just realized that maybe I blog stalk too much - I'm a daily reader of many of the nominated blogs... or maybe that just means I have GREAT TASTE and pick the best! You've got my vote - and I'll keep my fingers crossed that our votes will win you a chauffeur!

Oh, and farting is definitely funny!

Hilarious - and congrats on the nomination - way cool!

Listen sister, that yoga fart would have me laughing out loud too. Downward dog be damned...you farted! Hahahahahahaha! Apparently we are both five. :)

Also 1) I totally agree with you about the sweat issues at the gym, and 2) LOVE that red yarn! and 3) congratulations on your award nomination! I went over and voted for you.

Oops - that anonymous right there is me. Hi!

Ya gotta love Wonder Twin Power! Congrats on the nod!!

nothing? really? what about a grown man farting in yoga class wearing a helmet? not that I've seen that. I'm just saying.

I voted for your blog.

Just reading your story about farting in yoga class made me laugh, so I can imagine the actual event would be hilarious.

ha ha ha!

you effing crack me up.

and you know i would totally *snort* in a most unladylike way if i were witness to a toot in yoga class.

Now I have a really good reason to avoid yoga...

Slightly funnier: CAP laughing so hard at Farting Yoga Man she herself farts then has to excuse herself from yoga class for laughing/farting but as she walks out of class she's letting loose a little fart with each step which makes her laugh harder and fart even more.

NOTHING is funnier than farting. Yeah, I have a younger brother. Why do you ask?

Do these newbies at SnB KNOW who their sitting beside? Do they read knit blogs and KNOW Crazy Aunt Purl? Or is it just that LA attitude towards celebrities? They should be rolling on the floor laughing at your funnies - not to pander to your celebrity status, but BECAUSE YOU'RE HILLARIOUS!

That yarn is beautiful! When I owned a yarn shop, and went to my first big yarn convention, I met the guy who started Rio de la Plata. (I think he started it.) His name is Mauricio, and he's very cute. He had dimples when he smiled! ;)

Addendeum to my previous comment -
My spelling sucks!
they're not their
hilarious not hillarious
ARGGH

dang it - i wish i could hear you run on. it's so great when other people are crazy, too. and so awkward when they aren't.

Farts are hilariously funny at any age, I think. At a recent work-sponsored bowling event, an upper-level manager really let one fly (an SBD, for those in the know), and I almost can't even look at this person anymore without dissolving into a puddle of laughter. It was RANK, people.

Talk about awkward, when your continuing employment somewhat depends on that person. . . :-)

My yoga teacher was helping me with a pose when one of my bones/joints ‘popped’. Right away she said “oh, don’t worry about it”, it took me a few minutes to realize that she thought it was a toot. Oh the SHAME.

I agree with Maureen... I thought snb knitters would be fighting for the privilege to sit with you. I know I would (in the non stalkerish sort of way).

If I ran into more people like you, I too, wouldn't be such a hermit.

I don't exercise in public (gyms, classes, etc) because I'm afraid I'm going to be the one that farts! lol.

someone else farting in a yoga class would make me snort. not just laugh but snort.

sounds like the new girl is kind of lame if you ask me.

your new stitch is fabulous. i love it. and so is the yarn.

try farting at stitch n'bitch...they never let you forget....

Congratulations on the nomination! I voted for you! You should so win the chauffeur.

Don't you just hate when you are making small talk and the person you are small talking with looks at you like you are crazy and then says nothing. I hate that. I mean how can anyone leave the topic of farting in yoga class alone. HA! It is too funny!

congrats! also - farting while in yoga is way too funny. i had to give up my personal trainer b/c when we (by that i mean she made me) lift heavy things or stretch out sometimes i was afraid of that happening to me - and i know i am not the only one - but it made me very insecure. no really - no $$ to continue - but i did have that fear. :)

When you get olde you just call dial a ride my deah, and when you get olde, 'passing gas' is quite acceptable.............you just do it as you walk, turn to your companion and ask 'do you smell something?'.

Oh, honey, you should come and sit next to me!! We'd have so much fun!! Eventually they'll have to throw a net over us and drag us off to the mental hospital. Hopefully, when we get there, we'd be roommates and could continue our inappropriate conversation until our medication kicked in. Then we'd figure out how to hide the meds so we could talk and talk and talk and talk until they let us out of the hospital because they couldn't stand hearing us anymore. We could then go to another public place and start over again.

Sound like fun???

I voted for you in a ton of catagories for the Bloggies and I'm SO HAPPY for you!!!

Have a wonderful weekend, sweetie!!

Ummmm ... I am one of those who can't help the farting during yoga. Oy!

And I voted for you, so I could be your new chauffeur.

Had I known our very own CAP was in attendance, I would have gone nuts! Love you! Mean it!

I was there for the first time last night. Being entertained by lovely Ellen and Cory (sp?).

I took a yoga class last year, and one girl backed out before the class even started.. because she was worried about this same thing!!!

Just the thought of a fart in yoga is making me laugh. I would outright collapse in the presence of such an occurrence.

Congrats on the nomination! I voted for you! I think you'll win $20.07.

Sista, don't sweat it. It's called nerves. I do the same thing..babble...when I'm nervous. You're wonderful and funny and I'd love to have you sit by me and blab. Though, I'd probably give you a run for your money.

Laurie, I love your weirdness. You can come to our S&B anytime...

My vote is logged!!!
I've always wanted to knit....but it always befuddled me. I knew how to do a knit stitch and a purl stitch....but I didn't know how to put it all together or read a pattern. YOU are the one that gave me the encouragement to start with the roll-brim hat! Now I am on my first pair of socks.
Because of you I am also blogging, trying to post 1 pic per day.....AND, most importantly, DH and I are setting the stage to get Dr. Roizen's book and follow it. (We would have already but our life is a little in an uproar right now....my 23yo son is on leave from Baghdad and staying with us....so we are eating lots of "fun" foods, treats, comfort foods "that Mom used to make", and drinking a little more too. He goes back to Iraq next week, so we will start then.)
Anyway, your honesty, awkwardness x3, quirks, and all the other baggage has really hit home with me/us. Sometimes it really seems like you are inside my head blogging all MY weirdness!!!!!
Many, many times DH and I are LOLOLOLOLOL over your hilarious posts.....it's like you are one of our friends! I even call him at work to let him know that you posted and we will talk about it over dinner. Uh....that's almost creepy when you think of it! LOL!!
You have truly become a part of our family as someone we care about and are delighted to hear from.
Thank you for the way that you have influenced and encouraged us!!!
Hugs from Central Texas.
-Dawn

Oh, Laurie, keep being you!

One more thing, about the chauffeur:

My dear son Alex just got his learner's permit two weeks ago (!!!!!!!!!!) and would love to volunteer!! He's half-Puerto Rican and has the cutest little chin dimple!! He's a month shy of 16, doesn't eat much and is completely potty-trained. And he speaks Spanish, too!!

Send me your address and I'll ship him to you ASAP! Watch for a big box with holes in it!!

You are funny and a gift to me.

It is a law of the universe that farts are NEVER not funny. No matter how old you are.

It cracks me up that you think you're so unacceptable. I mean, if I were that new girl in SnB, I would be so thankful to have sat next to you! Seriuosly? Someone to chat my ear off who obviously is crazier than me? That's the kind of welcome wagon everyone needs! You're fine. Don't worry about it so much, silly.

Gosh, Soba looks so much like my cat Virginia. Similar temperament, too. I finally broke down and bought one of those cat scratcher things at Trader Joe's after seeing the pictures of Sobakowa on hers, and sure enough, Virginia promptly gave her sister a beat down for control of it (actually it was one of those sissy cat slap fights) and then lolled on it for the next, oh, six hours or so.

I am sure you were the star of the S&B.

I was one of the people who nominated you. How's that for an ego-laden response?

Anywho, I hope you win and you can hire Mary in Illinois' Mauricio to be your driver. Woo hoo!

Apparently the proze is 2007 cents, which will get you a chauffeur for 7.3 miles (assuming no waiting time and no tip) in a City of Los Angeles taxi.

Or almost halfway to the airport.

Pulling for you!!

Farting yoga guy was bad enough, but my final night in class was when I was serenaded during Savasana by three snoring yoga guys. I got the giggles so badly that I had to excuse myself and hide in the coat room.

...wait, Liz R just suggested that a 16-year-old boy doesn't eat much? How is that even possible?

Fartin' yogis are fun.

Farts and burps are "Natural bodily functions". Thats the excuse I use and if, God forbid, there is an bad odor attached, I jokingly remind that "it's a fart not a rose". However, I find it's the silent ones that are deadly. Okay, done talking out of my ass. tooot tooot

But you are so much more than a craft blog. And the Soba is adorable, in a totally scary way, of course.

I think of contact with other people's germs as a chance to keep my immune system in fighting trim. Also, eeewwwww.

Have you ever made mittens? I'm making a totally mutant one right now. To be followed, I hope, by its mutant twin, tragically born with the thumb on the other side.

Oh Yeah, Congrats on the nomination, you got my vote.

The "doesn't eat much" part is, of course, a relative term. Alex doesn't eat much as compared to say, an elephant. Or his mother. Sort of.

Yeah, I kinda found your blog 'cause of the Weblog Awards.

If a person can't handle crazy, they shouldn't be knitting/crocheting/doing any fiber arts WHATSOEVER. Because them's the rules. I HAVE SPOKEN!

Oh god, you are so right! That always happens! That red is gorgeous, it'll be such a pretty scarf! What are you doing to keep it from curling in on itself? Stockinette = tubes in my experience.

HA! I love the Unasobakawa! You should totally win a prize. Am also laughing at your awkward conversations - they sound very similar to many of my own. Heh. The new girl should totally have been charmed and amused by you. And - I am confused by your new stitch. I thought if you knit a row, then purl a row, then knit a row, etc., it just made stockinette stitch, but yours looks different and purty. Maybe I need to go back and re-read your instructions...

nah, it's just plain stockinette LOL

and-- oh I forgot this part -- I also said about eleventy two times that I smelled bad. Nice!

Laurie!!! I nominated you (and Ellen too!). You two are my daily reads, so I did it! I'm sure this is not why you are on the list, but hey, I'll take the credit.

BTW, tomorrow is the g sale, so if you are still interested, we'll see you there. Call for directions.

xo

gg, that is the Power of Laurie: st st + really pretty yarn = magic! We mere mortals have to use cables and stuff.

Oh, and Laurie? I still believe I could out-nervous-talk you. Wineglasses at dawn.

OH.. and yes, the stockinette is definitely rolling in like a tube, but I kind of wanted it that way to make it look rounder. My plan is to add huge giant pompoms to the ends! I love me some pompom.

Oh, and if you don't already, you should watch Monk. I think the two of you may have been separated at birth.

So...your link to me happens to be on a day that the title of my post happens to include the words, "ass-sucking".

Great. (just kidding)

I love you. And the shiny purple unicorn you rode in on.

Also, I voted for you.

Also, also, the blank stares make it even more funny for those of us observing.

Mmmmm . . . Downward Dog + Fart = Friggin Hilarious!

Yup - I'm 5, too!

I'm confused - those sample conversations don't make you look awkward, they make the other girl look awkward! You're being self-deprecating, honest, funny (invented a stitch, heh), and you even invited her to talk with, "Why? Do you think that's weird?" Some people are afraid of letting it all hang out. And yet if we all did - like you do here - we'd realize how much we're all alike and wonder why were we so afraid to share in that.

Heck, if I made body noises in a yoga class? I'd laugh at myself!

BTW that yarn is gorjuss! And an award for you? About time!!!

Congratulations!
I like your scarf a lot. Pretty reds.
If I sat next to you as a new girl at stitch 'n' bitch, I'd be busting out laughing. And pass the wine! woo!

Well here is the thing. I was maybe slightly REALLY overcaffeinated yesterday and had some issues and all, and they were very nice girls, the new girls, and frankly I was weirding myself out I was talking so much. I told one girl the yarn she was using looked like muppet hair, but in a good way! Like you could eat it!

See. It is kind of creepy if you don't know me already and know I'm basically harmless. So I felt kind of bad, and also I really was afraid I smelled. It had been a long day and I tried to febreeze but I'm not sure it worked.

Dude, I would have been laughing my ass off if I were a part of that conversation. Some people just have no sense of humor!

Sooo are you saying there are people out there who think farting is NOT funny?? Because I had that same problem the 1 time I tried yoga. Someone tooted and I 'bout died laughing.

If you are ever in Santa Barbara, we would love to have you stop by our knit group. We are a group of women who all have the "meeting new people" anxiety. How we all show up every week, I'll never know. :)

First, I don't know what this says about me, but if I had been there I would have found that conversation amusing and probably agreed with you. Second, if I were new at SnB and I ended up sitting next to someone like you, I would WAY prefer it to what actually happened to me the one time I went to knitting group here in SF - I made the horrible mistake of sitting between two women who WOULD NOT TALK TO ME. Like, when I sat down, I looked at the first one and said "Hi, I'm Sarie" -- and she just gave me this bored, annoyed look and said "Oh, hi" and went back to her knitting - she wouldn't even tell me what her name was. Ever. Even though they were regulars and I was new and I think they should have at least tried to throw me a bone - it was stony silence for two straight hours. I just kept putting stuff out there - questions, random observations, you name it, trying to make any connection at all. It was so awful. I would way prefer sitting next to someone who seems a little eccentric but at least *friendly* than someone who acts like I'm a freak for trying to strike up a conversation with her at what was supposed to be a social gathering.
That's my rant - but anyway, congratulations on the award.

Oh Lord- what a relief to know there are other people who avoid public yoga due to fart-phobia!
Although, since I also hate stretching in positions that show EVERY angle of my booty to the persons around me, I also have to 'fess up to body-image issues too.....

I'm really glad that someone else has awkward conversations with strangers in social settings. For some reason, they give me both joy and pain, being that they are hilarious but they are inevitably horrifying afterwards. For instance, a guy at a bar a few weeks ago was telling me how awful he thought it was for all the young starlets to go around flashing their ladybits, to which I geniusly replied that it's entirely possible to go around not wearing underwear without anyone knowing it. This obviously implied that I in fact do this and of course the guy looked at me and turned beet red because he was then trying to figure out if I was wearing underwear or not. I masterfully changed the topic to discussing the ancient greek roots of the word nostalgia, thus completely the least successful evening of flirting. Ever. Mysteriously, the guy messaged me on Myspace so either he's insane or shares our love of awkwardness.
~Pam
ps. Farts are hilarious. I laugh when other people fart and when I fart. People who don't find farts funny are missing out.

I just came upon your blog and am loving it. You are so hilarious! Yoga farting is hilarious!Congrats on the nomination! BTW, I use Rio De La Plata all the time because it is so beautiful!

You are so funny! I totally know how you feel about saying things. I always say stuff I regret later.

I was one of the people who nominated you. How's that for an ego-laden response?

Anywho, I hope you win and you can hire Mary in Illinois' Mauricio to be your driver. Woo hoo!

Laurie, Laurie, Laurie. YOU are exactly the sort that *I* would want to sit next to if I were new to/visiting a SnB group. YOUR personality would make ME feel welcome. (btw-love the Muppet hair comment) When I'm nervous I tend to either overtalk (fast, loud, & complete with hand gestures) or disappear (I call the latter reconnaissance and surveillance of the crowd. A girl needs to know who and what she's dealing with.) What exactly is considered "normal" topics of conversation anyway? I say, speak your mind woman! You've got tons of us who LOVE to read you.

Gotta disagree with you on the subject of flatulence humor, though. In a previous life I married into a family that viewed farting as an Olympic sport. I am still traumatized. I rarely speak of it. I cannot be objective. But I am cracking up at the thought of you cracking up over it in yoga class!

OMG, you're killing me. This sounds exactly like a conversation I would have. I think I've heard about the new girl. Don't worry. She accepts you just like the rest of us did. ;-)

You make me have to hide my giggles at work. too funny!! I would love to sit next to you at a SnB!

I voted for you too!

Oh please, they should call the Stretching Room at my YMCA the Farting Room, I swear! Not to mention that it's SUPPOSED to be a "quiet area." (snicker)

And a couple of times I was just getting ready to leave, and some guy just lets one rip, and then I'm afraid that if I get up to leave at that point, then everyone'll think it's because I farted! I don't want to be falsely accused of violating the Stretching Room!

So I say, laugh proudly!!

A friend once reported someone to the FBI that she thought might be the Unibomber. She's a black helicopter sort, so it made sense. But seeing Soba in that rig makes me understand the impulse. Totally.

Congrats on the nomination. And I love Rio.

Hi again, Thought you might enjoy this article about your boyfriend. http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleList.aspx?ID=5681

I love you. Seriously, marry me. Oh, wait. I'm already married. DH is down the hall inquiring why I'm laughing so hard in here.

You are effing hilarious though. I can't do yoga without farting. Not that the farting is the problem, but rather the giggling that forces DH to pause the DVD. Now that I'm pregnant, the fun of farting has reached a new level.

Nice pic of the Sobabomber.

I think I voted for your blog, but honestly, I was laughing so hard there were tears running down my face and my kids were screaming, "What is it? What's so funny? Why can't you tell us? Come on, Mom!! Tell us!!" and I couldn't really breathe, but I think I did it.

Farts are funny.

It'd be nice if the prize were a trip to the awards in Austin. I'd buy you a bottle of wine and a hank of yarn and sit in the awkward talkers section with you.

I just hate it when I fart in yoga class! Actually, there are some moves that you can make early in the class to lessen the wind. Or to let it out. Quietly. Supposedly.

That's my friend's luxury item too. The chauffer - not the farting! My mom's is clean sheets on a daily basis and mine is a personal trainer every day who comes to my house and makes me work out. Maybe we fantasize a little too much about having money, no?

This is why I prefer aerobics to yoga -- loud music playing, so I can let it fly.

No. Uh-uh. People who DON'T laugh at farts are the weird ones.

Also, do you have that stitch pattern copyrighted, or may I use it? I have a few projects that would look great in "stockinette". (Snazzy name you came up with, too)

I just started a yoga class IN SPITE of my fear over the "wind releaser" pose. I'm just praying that no one toots in class, because I will seriously lose it. So far there have been some noises from the other side of the studio, but I'm convincing myself that it's the sound of bare feet slipping on the floor. Please God, let it be that.

I have this feeling you're going to win that award...

Once, when I worked as an extra for some movie I don't even remember, the set was supposed to be quiet - you know, "Quiet on the set!! Camera...action!" And then some production assistant let out a big, loud, rolling (went on forever) fart. And what was really hilarious (other than I couldn't stop laughing and the PA got made at me) was that she was so pretensious about it. My God!! I wanted to say, "Just laugh about it, lady, you'd look so much cooler." Farts are just the death of cool.

Laurie,
you wrote at the end of an earlier post about being selfish in the right kind of way, taking care of ourselves the way we'd take care of others and it really hit home for me. thanks

OMG, I'm still freaked out by the unibomber. I even watched the American Justice/E True Holywood Story/48 Hour whatever specials on him and thought maybe, just maybe, I could see the sketch of the unibomber without completely wigging out.

Now I won't be able to pick up boards or bags for like 3 days, because I'll be convinced they'll explode.

(If you are ever in Chicago, we'll go invade stitch and bitches together. Cause, um, I totally do that same thing. Evidence - This comment.)

I have the same problem with the farting. My 11 yr old son actually farted on my boyfriend the other night and being the wonderfull parent that I am all I could do was laugh hysterically. Not only do I have a 5yr olds sense of humor I am teaching my kids as well. I can't understand why I haven't recieved my mother of the year award.

Yet again had mouthfull of tea while reading your blog and of course it ended up on my monitor. bad move... when will I ever learn, but hey, at least my computer is super sparkly clean.. again.... (from the regular disinfecting said tea spraying precedes)

fart jokes are just funny, especially when combined with overly serious (see wanker) yoga persons... :) Soba is gorgeous and good luck!

OK, I guess I'm never taking a yoga class. Thank you for that heads up. If we were in the same class, you would be rolling on the floor. (I was reading this to the Husband, who suggested a combination chili cookoff and yoga class.)

And I'd happily sit next to you at SnB, anytime! We can blather together!

I don't know why you put down your knitting. You have a very even tension from what I can see. Keep it up!! Congrats on the nomination. You keep me in stitches!

Found your site via the blog awards. Great stuff - love it... will definitely be back. Even though I'm starting to feel a little guilty about the (twelve) unfinished cross stitch patterns I have stashed at home. Maybe I'd do better with knitting...

I never thought farting was all that funny. But now I have a 4 year old boy (not to mention a mumble mumble year old husband) and I am starting to see that, for some of us, it is HILARIOUS.

And of course I went and voted for you. (And GFY. Couldn't help it.)

Congrats on the nomination - you have my vote! I think you qualify for more than just the "Best Craft Blog" category, though.

Hey, since you're talking about things that gross you out (e.g., other people's sweat on gym equipement), might I share something I recently learned? Come to find out, apparently Brits don't routinely rinse the dishes they wash. They just lather them up and them stick them in the drainer. WTF? Remind me never to eat at someone's home over there!

I read your blog now and again, but that whole stockinette thing is cracking me up. My face is on permasmile because I can't stop thinking about it!!!

Okay...

We should really get together and go bowling sometime. I would fall apart laughing at someone who farted during yoga. I'm talking laughing so hard I would have to stop and leave the room I would be laughing so hard.

And then I would continue to laugh about it throughout the day whenever I thought about it. That is just the way I roll.

You know when I'm around new people I have a tendency to do that exact same thing, for some reason my brain opens up and all sorts of silly things come out. I have no sense of self censorship. I should never around anyone important! Congrats on the nomination for the award! Good Luck!

The best is when you're on an overnight team building retreat with your entire department and some genius decides yoga in the morning, mandatory, is just the thing to build comraderie. And you are the one that farts. Oh yeah. That really builds a team.

I can't say this enough - you're a LEEEETLE too hard on yourself. We are the craziest, socially unacceptablest (is so a word!), least judgmental group of SnB-ers you could possibly find. Of course, I have yet to make it to a 2007 meeting, but I will!!

And? Just so you know? Faith was farting the whole time. She was just being all delicate and feminine about it.

funnier: naked man, wearing tasseled loafers, running (farting optional)

Laurie, you simply have to come to Austin to receive your Bloggie at SXSW -- and how could a blog that talks about men farting in yoga class NOT win??? I can't promise a chauffeur named Raoul ... but keep the $20.07 in prize money. The merlot's on me. :-)

Yoga poses that produce farts? Seriously? Who knew?

I checked out half a dozen yoga studios when I moved here, but I found the prices just a bit too much for a reporter's budget. $14 for a SINGLE CLASS? I don't think so!

Exercise is supposed to be fun and joyous - not stuffy and pretentious. I have a few yoga tapes I can do at home, but I think the LA/Santa Monica yoga scene has too many cooler-more-enlightened-than-thous for my taste!

I would LOVE to sit next to you at an SnB. You don't sound weird at all, you sound normal and down-to-earth.

And I second what another poster said earlier about going to a group and getting snubbed - I've had that happen to me where I try and try and try to be friendly and polite and find out about other people only to have the doors (figuratively) slam in my face. My solution is to either just find another group, or wear 'em down...

Besides, when you eat healthier food - particularly things like broccoli - you tend to produce more gas anyway. That's just the way it is. Which would you rather have? A few embarassign moments or colon cancer? OK, so maybe it's not THAT dire, but you know what I mean.

Hugs to you!

You are such a breath of fresh air, Laurie. You're real. Be proud of that! I totally can relate to the open mouth - insert foot technique of idle chat. I still flinch a little when I think back of the time I complimented a friend on her new, black and white striped earrings - and then told her I thought they were cool because they looked like goat's eyes. She never wore them again. I'd totally be cracking up if I was in a serene stretching exercise class and someone let fly! C'mon, that's FUNNY, I don't care who you are!

Yeah Seriously!!you speak my kind of wierdo-wheres-my extra-brain-cell blab.Sister! I'm smellin what yer cookin!! That's not cause you farted or somethin....See those new girls just didn't GET YOU or were too newbie nervous to let their inner freak show out for a walk around the block.You are HILARIOUS!!!Don't stop now!

Congrats on the nomination. Now I suppose I should go vote.

Since when is farting not funny? Was there a memo I missed?

I was kicked out of the gym because I brought along disinfecting wipes and the manager said it made it look like the equipment was covered in germs. Of course it's covered in germs. Cotton towels don't gain magic germ killing powers when applied to gym equipment.

I saw that you had been nominated. Of course I voted for you!

Woman I was with someone for the first time and he granned my behind and I farted. Nothing is worse than farting while naked with someone for the first time. Oddly enough I just started laughing and couldn't stop. He said if I squeeze here what sound do you make then - well that only made me laugh worse.

Farting - it's a timeless funny thing:)

OMG, you do realize that the next time I am in yoga class, I will think of this and bust out laughing. Whether or not anyone farts.

But I bet you'll love this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP_7SkRGegc

Do you struggle with the fact that every single thing you say is effing brilliant?

At my last SnB outing a bunch of us in a very blue (like blue state) city in a very blue group very vaguely alluded to a matter of religion when the host announced, "Well I'm a Christian and..."(followed by 27-minute diatribe on merits of her faith) (and the vast majority of us in the group were, in some manner, but probably would not use it in a declarative statement like we are bravely facing lions for our beliefs.) --Anyway, some people can harsh the knitbuzz worse!

Hi,

Congrats on your nomination! That is so super rad. And by the way, I totally love random life observations. That is the kind of person I would WANT to sit next to.

Ha!
What's even funnier than the fart..is the very idea of Men in a yoga class.
Doesn't that seem....uh..what's P.C. here...? not very "manly"?
I think I would have a hard time getting turned on by a guy who went to a yoga class.Maybe that's just me.
Congrats on your nomination! I think you and your cats rock!!
I even want to learn to knit ...now that it's the new COOL.

Just as well I don't do yoga either. Or my husband (but he is *totally* unco not just unco like me so he wouldn't anyway), or our families.
Is there a yoga move/name for rolling around on the ground laughing helplessly?

I'm finding the urge to embroider "Wino Knitter" on a pillow more than I can possibly bear.

Dang! Wish I would have known about this award thingy, I would have nominated you hands down!

The night I discovered you I was laughing so hard I think I peed my pants whilst falling out of my chair.

My husband was laughing right there beside me, especially the busbreakingdown post!

Then the parts that were more profound almost made me cry, and, then I was another CAP groupie by the time I stopped reading 11hundred hours later!

Dang! Wish I would have known about this award thingy, I would have nominated you hands down!

The night I discovered you I was laughing so hard I think I peed my pants whilst falling out of my chair.

My husband was laughing right there beside me, especially the busbreakingdown post!

Then the parts that were more profound almost made me cry, and, then I was another CAP groupie by the time I stopped reading 11hundred hours later!

Sheesh, what happened? I didn't realize you had posted again! That's what happens when I let work get in the way of my blogstalking!!

I voted for you, Laurie! Lovely red scarf, I love it - and the Unasobatator - what's not to love? And just so you know, count me among the ones who would love to sit next to you and hear your lovely chatter! Even if I don't say much, I'd just be enjoying it. ;)

Honey, I would laugh so hard at farting-man that I would either snort, burp, fart, or all 3 at once.

I bow to your crack-up-iness. Rock on sister!

Sure...farts are all fun and games until someone gets dutch-ovened under the covers.

Love, love, love the Unakitten.

Oh gawd, I am still wiping the tears out of my eyes from laughing so hard. Wonder Twins Activate!

I try and eat a high fiber diet . . . and that is why I can NOT attend a yoga class! I would be the one making all the noise.

Another Bloggy nominator here. Congratulations on making the finals, but no surprise. Crazy Aunt Purl is brilliant!

Also: The one and only yoga class I ever took, the instructor let fly with a "breezy" that shook the room with all the subtlety of the Hindenberg's final approach.

I never returned to that class. Just couldn't do it.

You seem to be on a bit of a roll or would that be stumble with the awkward moments and new people.

Although I would be giggling and possibly moving nearer to the open window in a farty yoga class. This is why I am buying a DVD and a mat and doing it at home. Apparently I too am a pre-teen in a 33 year old body.

Congratulations on the nomination! I voted for you too.

UniKitty photo made me laugh so hard...I farted!

You go girl: farts HILARIOUS, sweat YICK, pretentious LA people STILL WEIRD (not you ;).

Unasobakowa deserves a Bloggie of her very own, but I voted for you anyway.

You should make a poster of Unasobakowa and sell it. I would buy several. So would everyone else. You could get rich enough to hire that driver.

Lissenup. You are 100% right. Other people's gym sweat is ICKY. People out there in L.A. swap waaaaay too many body fluids as it is!

That's another reason I love the YMCA. Not only are there other chubby people there, but the Y has paper towels and squirt bottles of disinfectant all over the place and everybody is expected to spray-n-wipe when they are done ... NOT spread their sweat around with their own towel. Mack, the janitor, enforces this rule. Mack will come chasin' after your ass with his mop if you don't spray-n-wipe.

I love Mack.

Those West Hollywood wenches sound about as interesting as a convention of debutante's moms. You know, those overdressed-for-coffee kind of women who only know how to say, "That's nice..." ?

The problem is not that YOU don't know how to stop talking, but that THEY don't know how to have an honest conversation. Those same women could probably have the following conversation, smiling flossy smiles all the while ...

Gal 1: "I find yoga relaxing."
Gal 2: "So do I"
Gal 3: "Me too,"
Gal 1: "Isn't it interesting how many people are into yoga these days?"
Gal 2: "I'm sure everyone sees the benefits of it."
Gal 3: "Yes, it certainly is relaxing ..."
Ga1 1: "And convenient. There are yoga places everywhere."
Gal 2: "And you can do yoga at home, too."
Gal 3: "I find it more relaxing that way.."

...and worse, they could CONTINUE this conversation while smiling and politely sipping decaf fat-free ultra-skim lattes ... and go on in this vein for the entire three-hour duration of Stitch-N-Bitch, THINKING they had had a conversation about yoga when actually they had only said the word "yoga" a lot while they talked about NOTHING.

GAH!

We are SO glad that you are you, and you can come to my house and talk about yoga farts any day.

Hell, you can come over and fart in person, if you want to.

I'm with you on two counts - I think farts are hilarious, and when I get really rich, I'm going to have a damn driver.

That way, I can start drinking early!

Sweetie, if you ever sit next to me and want to have the exact same conversation, I guarantee I would happily join in and probably say stuff that would make you edge away from me! Also, I now plan to avoid yoga in public! :o)

OMG. Wonder Twins. I remember that! You have me rolling! But yeah, how do you pass off a fart in a yoga class like it wasn't you? Ya can't blame it on the cat, right? And that's ripe for the picking to laugh at, so laugh away!

Congrats on the award! YOU DESERVE IT. Just be careful that the kittie doesn't get a big head over the award. I placed my vote for yewww. You keep me in stitches. ;-)

Have you ever laughed so hard that you dry heaved? Yep. Thanks for the abdominal workout, Laurie. My sides hurt!

I clearly remember my Grandma and her intestinal challenges. She was either in complete denial that she was producing such unmentionable "functions", or she was pretending she didn't realize it was her. One time, I was sitting at the dining table reading a book. Behind me was a large 5-foot-long walnut buffet. Grandma, feeble and a slow mover, was walking toward the kitchen, gripping the buffet for balance. Grandma got about a foot away from me when she let one rip. Not a shortie, but a looooooong one. It continued on the entire five feet. Sputtering and stalling then restarting with every step. Tooot-tttooot-toot-oot-ooooot-oot-oot-ooooooootttttppppp... tooot-toot... I just sat there in stunned horror, basking (literally) in the joys of old age.

Yoga farts are hysterical, as long as they are not from my own behind. Also they must not be odiferous. And folks who take their down dogs/superdogs oh so seriously? Puhlease....

You know, I was having a really crabby morning, and now I'm laughing. I think you'd be fun to sit next to at the StitchnBitch, but not necessarily in yoga class...

Hey Laurie
New to your site, but have been trying to read the archives to get the whole picture....you're hilarious, and so real! You make me laugh and then cry! Congrats on the nomination! Keep knitting - I'm relatively new (although I could only knit, not purl before) to the knitting scene, and I'm trying desparately to finish my first sock without frogging it again! :)
Anyway, I enjoy your posts!

Another nominator here! And sorry to disappoint you, but your concerns about sweaty gym equipment are quite rational. :) What grossed me out years ago when I tried going to a gym (yes, I am a sloth) were the complimentary headphones. Sweat-soaked didn't begin to describe it. Yech!

Ooohhhh...now my tummy hurts. Too much laugher! Thanks for the ab workout Laurie :o)

Hi! I'm five, too. I was laughing my @ss off at the Fart Story. Farts are funny stuff!

Laurie--promise me we will meet some day at some knitting event! I think the rudeness at S&B is not because they're knitters, but because they live in LaLa land. Sheesh. Come to Colorado--we know how to be sisters to our fellow knitters. We are also into lots of hugging and laughing at those with a great sense of humor, like you. BTW--I don't think any of your hugs could ever be inappropriate. Like I said, you are just living in the wrong place. Love how you share your life with us; don't agonize over things you've said. I am finally learning not to do this, and I'm over 40.

I would sit next to you at an SnB, think your fart comments were hysterical and would hug you back ANY time. So come on up to San Jose! :)

wowie zowie!
congrats on the nom~

You know Laurie, the "New Girl" may be the wierd one here. You sound pretty ok to me.

will there be a cyber country club awards ceremony?

I just found this blog because I was looking for a hat pattern. And not only are you wicked funny, I think you also cloned my friend's cat Willow and took her across the country, because OMG THAT IS WILLOW!

Maybe this guy could come up with a yoga mat...

www.flat-d.com

Loving the Soba photo and have a few questions: 1) how do you pronounce Soba's full name?
2) what if "flop sweat"?
3) what are "jazz hands"?

Farting?!? Too funny. Thanks. You've given me the rationalization I needed to NEVER take a yoga class...I would definitely be a farter ;-) Congrats on your nomination. It is well-deserved and if I were in your SNB group I would definitely want to sit next to you. Inappropriateness = interesting and funny.

You are too funny! I seriously walk around with my foot in my mouth 24/7. I will say something really stupid, mostly to random people..hairdressers, cashiers..etc - and than as I am walking away I literally say in my head "Oh no she diin't". I am an ass.

I'm 42, and farts STILL make me laugh! They always will. What's not funny about them??

Way back in the 1970s, my parents enrolled in a yoga class in the basement of a local church. And my dad became one of those yoga-fart-men. Completely mortified my mother, who to this day can't hear the word "yoga" without imagining my father farting and the looks of horror on pretty much everyone's faces.

I was very young at the time, and found it hilarious. I am much older now and still find it hilarious. And people who don't find yoga farts hilarious are not worth being friendly to.

Congrats on the nomination! What are you going to wear to the ceremony?

I voted for you!

I made s sweater using the "rios de la Platas" and liked it very much.

BTW -- I do the same thing. New people + any kind of dead air = uncontrollable run of the mouth. Sometimes it's like I'm floating above my body saying to myself "Shut up already! Nobody cares about (fill in the blank)." Yet I continue to blather, often to the mortification of my quiet, always self-composed husband. Thanks for the grins!

Denelle in TN

Hah. I'll give your akward a run for it's money. I work as a nurses aide. Some of the stuff we have to do is frankly...gross. Interesting but gross. Sometimes not even interesting.
Here's the problem with that. I have no filter. None. I'll be chatting along about my work to someone, and then realize that perhaps I've gone a bit to far talking about the lady that had neon green pee (I kid you not it was neon green. One lady I didn't have, but one of my co-workers had was blue. Weird) when I see that look on their face. You know...*that* look. That 'i'm going to go sit over here and stare at the wall now, thanks for your conversation!' look.

blue pee that is... heh

Wish I'd been sitting next to you. I love people who make me laugh.

A green-pee occasion is forthcoming. St. Patrick's Day. If you drink green beer.

Hey Auntie~ Can you tell us all where you stitch'n'bitch again and when? One of my best girlfriends just moved to LA and has started to knit. She is extremely proud of her knit, purl, knit, purl action and needs other folks who understand that wonderous break through skill. And she's the sort that you can't scare away, even if you tried. In fact, she'll join in on the verbal vomiting. Promise. Between the two of us, we scared a seasoned diplomat into running out of a room (well, he did walk, but it was a pretty darn quick trot). Thanks!
Oh! Congrats on the bloggies... I voted for you too!

i had a girlfriend, whose husband realized how much she hated his farts. he took it upon himself to cut a garden hose to the just the right lenght. he then proceeded to make farting noises that were expelled from bewween his legs. she was sooooooooooooooo disgusted, and we were soooooooooooooooooooo amused. most excellent. humor can be very selective.

Congradulations!!!!!!!

Is farting durning sex funny too?

If I were in LA I would come to SnB and be awkward right along side of you.

Congrats on the nomination!

"Sure...farts are all fun and games until someone gets dutch-ovened under the covers."

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dammit, now I have to clean the wine off of my keyboard.

i was feeling very down tonight, and reading your blog just picked me up and made me smile. i remember now. i am a good person, and i deserve to be happy too. thanks laurie.

Amen sister on your take on "wiping off gym equipment". Ick! They DO use the same towel as they have just wiped their faces, necks and underarms with. Why on Earth would I want them to wipe off the equipment that I will soon use with the SAME towel? The point is that they do, hence why I do not go to a gym anymore. Instead I do workouts at home and walk outside, run, when it's winter I cross country ski (Sweden) and so on.

And I don't think that you're 5 for laughing at someone else farting. I mean how hard is it for a person to hold it in? It isn't, they just let go. :-)

Um, hello? *I'm* the one who randomly brought up to you the fact that my childhood best friend was a multiple winner on "Star Search"! Without any provocation! Talk about lame!

(I'm also two sips away from finishing an entire bottle of Charles Shaw Merlot that I purchased today from Trader Joe's, so there's that to consider. HOWEVER, I did say that about my best friend without any liquid courage.)

I even forgot to mention to you how I was also in a yoga class in which someone farted! HEE. Because I'm twelve.

Oh Aunt Purl, I feel that I am your wonder twin - that I was separated from you at birth. I too, have spent many an awkward and then remorseful moment filling in awkward pauses with totally inappropriate but oh so true comments. I too have been chastised by my yoga teacher for falling over laughing for the very same reason you mention below...I too, do not want to be anywhere near someone else's sweat - not even that keen on my own. Congrats on your blog, you are speaking for the masses (or at least me). Thank you, thank you.

Wow. I would love to be in your SnB group! I haven't been able to go to any here yet (just moved). Love the new stitch, the jazz hands and also...meet Wino knitter #2!!

I must be five, too. I find farting hilarious.

Farting will ALWAYS be funny. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I just found your blog and you are funny. Yay! I love finding new blogs to read.

I just have to say: I love the pic of the Unasobakowa!

Oh Laurie, trust me. New girl just didn't know what to say because she's new and nervous. It had nothing to do with you. After all, I'm the one that shouted "F*** the Fetching!" as I threw my knitted mittlet on the table in disgust. If THAT doesn't scare people off, nothing will. Maybe you should squeeze yourself in next to us tried and true types next time. You know we love and accept you.

Which brings me to DEZ: We West Hollywood Stitch N Bitchers have NOTHING in common with Debutante Moms. We are well-educated, interesting women who have real conversations about real things. A large number of us are tattooed, swear like drunken sailors, talk about things like condom use (out loud, in public, surrounded by innocent bystanders) and seriously, we LOVE Laurie more than anything. Do not judge what you don't know.

I am usually just a lurker, but I check your page everyday. I came across this page http://beactivenc.org/peia/8o.html today thought you might think it was funny that even the yoga instructors talk about the gas. Thanks for being so real.

Delurking to say that as I read this, my 6 year old daughter asked what I was laughing about. I told her what a blog was and then told her to do downward dog. I told her that a lady wrote in her blog that someone *did wind* in yoga class. That was probably TMI for her - she now does downward dog when she has to fart. Nice.

Thanks for the special family moment. I voted for you - hope you win!

Oh my gosh, thank you Laurie for starting the laugh-a-thon and thanks to everyone else for keeping rolling and crying.

My 2 cents...
A few of my coworkers have been trying to get me to join them for yoga at their houses...now that I know the horror that could happen in such a small group that it would be hard to deny what had happened, there's no way.

My DH doesn't understand why I sometimes come out of public restrooms giggling so hard I can't breathe...the funniest thing in the world is when you hear a "toot" in the public bathroom, because you know the "tooter" knew others were there and they were trying so hard not to release or to do it quietly and now they know they have to stay a while or else show the face of the tooter.

Last piece:
Several years ago, I was with all my coworkers and we were having a meeting in our boss's hotel suite. Everyone was casual, some sitting on the floor, the boss talking about an upcoming meeting and how we would handle it, when I heard a "pop." You know at first you think "Was that a fart? No, probably just the beams in the walls creaking before the building falls down." Then the most straigh-laced, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood-type guy said "Excuse me." So straight faced, he might have just sneezed or coughed.

Dang, taking credit for it just was too much. I turned 5 years old, just like you, and was unable to hear anything the rest of the afternoon due to my own snickering. To make matters worse, my boss had some degree of hearing loss and had no idea what had happened and why I was being such a disruption. Of course, my snickering caused a few other 5-year-olds to snicker as well. Oh Lord, I'm snickering even now, remembering it.

Thanks for the giggles!

I just wanted to say thank you... i'm so relieved to know someone else out there is familiar with foot-in-the-mouth/what was i THINKING syndrome. i frighten friends, coworkers, strangers, and homeless people alike.

That is exactly why I only took one yoga class! Too much pressure.

You and I must be twins seperated at birth. When I did yoga for the first time, I did an enromous fart - not one out of my bottom either - and instead of pretending it never happened, I told everybody I met about it, even new employers etc, whenever yoga came up in conversation. I thought it was an hilarious story. But it's not. I should stop talking now.

I used to laugh LOUD and long when the lady in my row of cubes farted in her cube (she did it daily, and apparently it's ok to do that where she's from). Unfortunately the powers that be had a talk with her about that so she doesn't do it anymore. :-(

43 going on 5 here.

Oh dear ... to Laurie Ann and everyone else, I meant that the particular four West Hollywood women who silently snubbed CAP were incapable of conversation. Not the entire membership of WeHoSnB. Please note that I said "THOSE West Hollywood wenches" (as in "those particular wenches") as opposed to "all West Hollywood wenches," "the entire West Hollywood Stitch-n-Bitch group," or "the membership, associates, affiliates, franchises and intellectual properties of WeHoSnB, and all interested parties concerned."

Just to clarify.

Let's see: You're unhappy with your weight (but working on it), you follow your cats around with a camera, you fall upstairs, you don't get sports (football is just pretty colors on a screen), you think farting is funny.

You are my soul sister!

Congrats on the nomination! I love the Soba kitty. Torties definitely have the disaffected loner genius attitude down pat! I worked with a three-legged tortie at a vet's office for a few years, and she was always sitting on the computer monitor letting me know that she's really the boss.

OMG I laughed so hard I almost tinkled, WHAT, oh like ya'll have NEVER done THAT before *wink*. I even made my husband read this post cuz we just simply crack up with bathroom humour. Join the club, I must still be 5 too LOL.

I have to agree, farting is funny! And then you get a whiff and faint...

Hey, you aren't the one farting so why would you be the one that can't go to class?

And so you laugh. Big deal. There are a lot of men out there who might consider that a bonus in a mate.

You sound perfectly charming my dear. The trick may be that you are witty and bright and not everyone can do that.

What's more embarassing than seeing yourself in a CAP blog? Not much. I'm the "new girl" who admired your yarn. I'm not that new -- I've been at SnB WeHo for about a year. I'm really a lot of fun (you can ask Faith or Ellen) and maybe we can sit next to each other at a Thursday night soon.

Oh, I *SO* hear you on those gym towels. They are disgusting! Let me warn you off still further: when I go to the gym I have a tendency to fart on the treadmill, which I find kinda funny and which everyone else probably finds hideous. I try to look around innocently, like "Who smells?" but it never works. I used to be mortified but now I remember the sweaty gym towels and try to laugh it off.

You can sit next to me at SNB any time. It would be a long trek from Chicago but I just might do it.

Funnier? How about a grown man in down-dog with his ass-crack showing? And my 11 year old son sitting straight behind him and snickering and pointing?

"Wonder Twins Activate.. form of: yoga fart."

BBWWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

You are so funny!!!! You made me laugh so hard I cried, farted, snorted, and lost control of every orifice (TMI). Thanks for the good shot of endorphins!!!!

OMGz I haven't been here in ages and when I did come regularly, I think I had a different blog. And used my real name. And stuff. But I wanted to comment and let you know that I would've SO laughed at all your commentary during SNB. But that's just me. :D