Tea came out of my nose, thanks to you! I almost died when I read about cat lasagna!

I do sometimes think what it would sound like if someone WAS listening to me. "No biting!" is one thing, and "No fighting on the bed!" is another. How about "Go bite your brother, not me"?

I probably would have bought that back when I had three cats.

TOO FUNNY! I was on the other side of the driveway for years in my little Surfside Bungalow. My neighbors were way crazier and scarier.

Are you going for pink or teal? Hmmmm.....

I've been wanting to ask, are any of your cats "talkers"? I had one once who just meowed up a storm the minute I came in the door, and you would literally have to tell her,"Shut up!" and then she would be mad and hide behind the door and pounce on your ankles next chance she got. Kitties are the funniest pets!

That was hilarious! Thank you so much for all your funny stories, I love reading your blog!

HAHAHAHAHAHA
My cat would go balistic if I tried to stuff her in one of those things. Hi, can't even get her in the cat carrier to go to the vet. I used the tried and true "stuff her in a filing box and put the lid on quick and bungie-cord it shut."

I hope the craziness at work ends soon. BLEH, hate working on weekends.

Oh, I have seen people pushing their animals around in those strollers!!!!

do you really flush the lumps? lol, silly question. i've thought about buying that, but with the huge clumps i get from madam peesalot, i don't think they'd fit!

loved the cat lasagna. garfield, anyone?

Bob: Oooh a buggy!

I talk to my cats all day and night, too. I feel that it's rude to walk past one of them without acknowledging them. I also say goodbye to them when I leave. When I'm on vacation I call my answering machine each day to say hello.

I was under the impression that I was completely sane and that everyone did those things too.

Was I wrong??? ;0)

Hello! My 10-year-old son is on the floor hysterical with laughter over 1) "Clump 'n Flush," 2) "Poop, a man at your door and cats," and 3) "an inoperable growth inside the head area." I think he loves you. :)

Also, out of fear for my own life, I shall not attempt to stick my Grace into one of those Christmas Jester collars. Because she is a large cat and would harm me.

i have a goofy song for each of my cats. how about you?

i used litter made out of wheat; it was odor free and very effective. a little pricey however.

ok my mother in law has that EXACT pet stroller for her dog!!! In blue. she only had sons (4 of them) so to fill that frilly-daughter need or something she treats the dogs like miniature female pagent children...

I forgot my window was open the first time I had to put Soft Paws on my cat... the neighbors didn't even try to stifle their giggling at the threats and insults and pleas I was using on the cat.

As the also divorced and slightly off-kilter owner of three cats, I am right there with you! I also have a parrot, just so one of the critters will talk back! I have to admit, my animals give me all their attention when I talk to them. Okay, more so when I'm filling the food dishes, than when I'm telling them to stop running the NASCAT 3000 in the middle of the night, but the point is they listen, which is more than I can say for most men. I have a sneezy cat, and I may have to check out their litter, although I have one of those automatic cat boxes,and they, (thankfully!), require cheap litter. However, the other box might benefit from something less inclined to make Rizzo wheeze. Love your blog, and share the thiry-something, divorced, dating fiasco, lonely holiday, whole mess that life is! Thanks!

I just came across your blog for the first time (a referral via free knitting patterns, I don't know how many clicks away). Having just read a smattering of your writing, I am absolutely compelled to let you know how much I like your style. Gonna make it a regular read - I'm happy to find someone else who has parallel experiences & it may help keep me sane.

Hmm can't have both but I'd really like a cat but I'd have to get rid of my husband first.
Hmmm They cost about the same.

2) Have you tried the Tidy Cat Crystals cat litter? That's all I use now, and it seems to be low in dust production. But is not, however, flushable.

3) I stopped watching Cold Case when their suckage level exceeded my tolerance level. Hate, hate, hate when Hollywood dummifies southerners. Makes me want to nuke superficial La-La Land and everyone in it! (Okay, not really, but, you know what I mean...).

6) Does it mean you're crazy if you talk to your cats, even if you live alone and have no human companions to talk to? I cling to the hope that the answer to that question is "No", otherwise I've got a white coat w/ wrap-around sleeves somewhere in my future.

I know you are buying the pink one, admit it.

'Taz' the demon dog does not like the reindeer antlers we make him wear every Christmas but he doesn't mind the empty wrapping paper tubes my son puts on all four leg and his tail. Crazy can be cheap.

Believe it or not, I knew a woman who decided that those cat strollers were a good idea, but too expensive, so she BUILT one of her own out of a child's little red wagon and some sort of framed mesh top. She's only in her thirties and she's already that level of crazy. It's admirable.

I saw one of those strollers this past summer. My friends have already told me that if I buy one they WILL have me committed.

And in reference to the tale of your street - check out this website. www.christmasstreet.com

Yet another reason to either move to Baltimore or stay very very far away....

mmmmmmmmmm..lasagna....

oh wow... so freaking funny! I make interesting suggestions like that to my cats all the time... but it's too cold here for a. folks to be standing outside or b. the windows to be open! so for now, I am safe to talk/scream/threaten/guilt away.

If dog owners can put crazy outfits on their dogs and walk among society, why can't we as cat owner have our own brand of crazy? I so want a stroller for our cats! I just don't know if the hubby will go for it.

I can't believe you said "idjit." That was my favorite word in 4th and 5th grade! of course, you always had to follow that with the definition: super-sonic, idiotic, brain-infested, disconnected, MORON!

Thanks, Purl, you always make me laugh :-)

At least you're cementing your rep as the crazy cat lady. Think of it as security- nobody's gonna mess with a crazy cat lady!

It could be worse--you could live in Kansas and have to endure all the "looks like we're not in Kansas any more Toto" and other Wizard of Oz references to tornadoes,etc. etc. Then there's Fred (crazy as hell) Phelps, state school boards that routinely ban teaching evolution until we vote their sorry asses out. My daughter went to Harvard, and on our first visit there, her roommate's mother asked me where I got her skirt--when I told her at our Dillard's store, she looked at me with genuinely stunned eyes and then said, "You mean you got that skirt in KANSAS?" Some people need to get out more...or shut the hell up, one.

Hey there! Have to pop in and say I found you from a link on a free knitting pattern site this morning. I'm sure glad I did. You are a riot! Thanks for putting all this out there. Highly entertaining. I am also a newbie knitter (just over a year), who has the addiction, and a cat lover. Oh, and also a southerner (Texas). We have to brag about it, don't we? Kim

How weird is it that I really, really want the kitty stroller?

As usual, a great post. I especially love the dialog with Roy.

Oops, I mean Bob.

Hi, Pam! I lived in Kansas for 15 years until I moved to LA. I know what you mean. I had to put up with a lot of people who thought I'd completely freak out and die here in LA, but after Phelps and Co., LA is just weirdness on a larger scale.

Laurie, I talk to my cats all the time. But I live in a building with five other women, most of whom talk to THEIR cats and dogs, so it's fine. My cats have decided the fiance understands "Cat" better than I do, so now they talk to him and ignore me.

I thought I was being overly sensitive when I was offended by the Cold Case show last night. Nice to know I wasn't.

I really hated it when one of the characters said, "Isn't that a red state?" Hmmmph! As if that defines everyone in that state.

Nashville is a booming metropolis too, so that shows how much those writers know.

I love a lot of things about the South, but calling your boss "Big Daddy" and letting him call you "Little Sister" is unprofessional at best and the way that they smile when they say it is downright incestuous - way too freaky for me!

I don't have cats so talking to them would be considered even MORE wierd for me. I do have a dog though and we talk all the damn time. Yes I said 'we' she talks back, and I understand completely.

BD

I actually saw a dog in one of those things. Rather weird for Texas.

We had two Siamese, Rajah and Tima, when I was a child. R & T liked to be made into the bed. They were quite happy to have the sheets and blankets tucked in around them. Weirdos.

My neighbour's cat, Colonel Pip, has decided that he loves me more than the loves his owners. That means bringing me dead birds. Yes, there is a dead bird in my kitchen right now. It looks like it should have x's for eyes (you know the kind of cartoon). There are also feathers all over. Sigh. Remind me again why I like cats.

Ok, I am SO RELIEVED some of ya'll also found Cold Case just tacky and offensive.

For one thing -- yes, sure, TN may have been a so-called "red state" but I can guarandamntee you that no more defines a whole state or city (especially a Metropolis like Nashville) any more than living in Hollywood makes you a movie star. NEVADA was a red state in that same election and you don't see people talking smack about Las Vegas.

And another thing, we gave up Boss Hogg, uh, excuse me.. I mean "Big Daddy" running our police force back in the B&W tv years. Duh.

And not all southern women line dance or sleep with yankees on the first date. And the character named "Honey" was given THE worst lines ever. Because all southern women raise horses and act like they've never been off the farm.

Puh-leez.

Speaking of knitted things, have you seen this:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006270608,00.html

Love the post today!! Every try Feline Pine? Dunno about dust, but it sure smells a lot better than anything else I've ever used!

Love the post today!! Ever try Feline Pine? Dunno about dust, but it sure smells a lot better than anything else I've ever used!

Love the post today!! Ever try Feline Pine? Dunno about dust, but it sure smells a lot better than anything else I've ever used!

Why does only the pink one include a slip-on weatherproof cover! Do cats who ride in blue ones deserve to get wet? I'm sensing gender bias here....

My cat plays the same game when I make the beds. Only now there are two of us who yell at him, me and my 5 year old. Nature or Nurture. Who knows?

That stroller is disturbing. I wonder if Bob would enjoy riding around the neighborhood in it?

I have tried feline pine and tidy cats crystals. I liked them both, but the cats hated them -- they didn't like the texture, I think, too big.

At first, I used Johnny Cat unscented, which is the best (non-clumping) clay litter, but it's too dusty for Roy. Soba, on the other hand, LOVES her Johnny Cat so I have one tiny pan of Johnny Cat just for Soba. She is spoilt.

I tried World's Best Litter (too dusty), the citrus-pine stuff (I hated the smell but it was almost dust free), the processed paper pulp litter (cats hated the smell of pa-purrrr and refused to use Yesterday's News) and Arm & Hammer scoopable which was actually really good but still had that clay dust.

Believe me, when I say I have tried every brand available ... I mean I have systematically tried every single brand available in every store, pet shop and online over a five year period. I am sort of a cat-litter-evaluating-maniac ;)

I do not flush any clumps. I would have no plumbing in an hour flat. (Old house, old pipes!) (Lots of cats, lots of poop!)

If you want to switch your cat litter to a new brand, I found the best way to do it was use a fresh, additional kitty pan and fill it with the new stuff, and if your cats are anything like mine they will want to test it out because A) it's new B) It's not exactly where the other pan is and C) it's new! Must poop and defile it asap!

Then if they seem to be using the new litter (and also, since dust was the main concern, I could tell immediately if the litter would work out or not) you can slowly switch them to it in the regular kitty pan.

Yes, I just wrote a freaking SOLILOQUY on cat litter. Lord help me.

And of my cats, Roy is a talker, Bob is a chirper, Frankie is a whiner, and Soba growls from time to time :)

Hey, Laurie

I found your next knitting project:

http://www.makezine.com/blog/archive/2006/06/knitted_ferrari.html?CMP=OTC-0D6B48984890

Also, if I send you some steel wool, will you knit me a Cadillac?

Hahaha. It was really bad the first time I came home with the boy and called out, "Fred, Ethel, Mama's home." And realized what I had just done. Oops!

And now I am wondering if my neighbors can hear me and what they think when I occasionally shout, "dammit Fred you bastard" as he tries to attack my feet.

Too funny!

I talk to my cat ALL the time. I ask her if she does anything exciting while I'm at work, ask her if she's waiting on a date when she sits at the front door, etc. I don't, however, think my neighbors have heard me even though our houses are about 5 whole feet apart.

Laurie, your mention of Boss Hogg reminds me of something. I grew up in Snellville, Georgia (it's near Atlanta so we weren't selling moonshine in the woods out back of our house or anything). I was on the drill team and flag corps in high school (hi! I'm a dork) and we had to march in the Snellville Days parade every year. Boss Hogg was the Master of Ceremonies one year. You can tell the big stars were just chomping to come be in the Snellville Days parade, can't you?

Too funny!

I talk to my cat ALL the time. I ask her if she does anything exciting while I'm at work, ask her if she's waiting on a date when she sits at the front door, etc. I don't, however, think my neighbors have heard me even though our houses are about 5 whole feet apart.

Laurie, your mention of Boss Hogg reminds me of something. I grew up in Snellville, Georgia (it's near Atlanta so we weren't selling moonshine in the woods out back of our house or anything). I was on the drill team and flag corps in high school (hi! I'm a dork) and we had to march in the Snellville Days parade every year. Boss Hogg was the Master of Ceremonies one year. You can tell the big stars were just chomping to come be in the Snellville Days parade, can't you?

My best friend has a cat stroller. She wheels Monica out to the garden and then poolside. Fortunately, she lives in the country, far from civilization.

yes, Mike, I will knit you a cadillac. It may look a little like a scarf, but ... uh. Artistic license? LOL

And Jen, not ONCE have I ever spoken to you by phone while you were at your house that you don't "mention" Fred hehehehe.

Love this one!!! You are SOOOO right about Cold Case. And you know what else really burns me up? Obviously FAKE southern accents, attempted by people who have probably NEVER been to the south. Have you seen the Jessica Simpson commercials recently in her "Dukes" get-up and her hideous southern accent?? COME ON Hollywood! Its incredible how many people you meet that think The Beverly Hillbillies is an excelent example of southern people. sheesh!!!

My best friend has a cat stroller. She wheels Monica out to the garden and then poolside. Fortunately, she lives in the country, far from civilization.

Love this one!!! You are SOOOO right about Cold Case. And you know what else really burns me up? Obviously FAKE southern accents, attempted by people who have probably NEVER been to the south. Have you seen the Jessica Simpson commercials recently in her "Dukes" get-up and her hideous southern accent?? COME ON Hollywood! Its incredible how many people you meet that think The Beverly Hillbillies is an excelent example of southern people. sheesh!!!

Love this one!!! You are SOOOO right about Cold Case. And you know what else really burns me up? Obviously FAKE southern accents, attempted by people who have probably NEVER been to the south. Have you seen the Jessica Simpson commercials recently in her "Dukes" get-up and her hideous southern accent?? COME ON Hollywood! Its incredible how many people you meet that think The Beverly Hillbillies is an excelent example of southern people. sheesh!!!

As far as the neighbors go, I sit on my front porch and interview the neighborhood cats who come by to eat the food I leave out for them. After eight years here I think my neighbors have resigned themselves to the crazy lady in the white house. I have names for all the cats whose real names I don't know. And they answer to them!!

Liz I am embarrassed to say... I, too, get visited by an outdoor cat who I have named Punky Brewster and I talk to when I sit on the patio. He thinks he lives at my house but I remind him frequently that he is mistaken. He has a home... he just likes my patio better.

Oy I have to go to a mtg back later taters.

I talk to any cat that I see. My mean husband won't let me get a new cat--my beloved old cats had poop issues...hopefully, I will change his mind someday.

People can laugh, but I talk to my cat while taking him for walks in his blue stroller. He loves it, and yes, I might be a bit crazy.

Who doesn't talk to their cats? I do it all the time. It's a good thing our apartment is fairly sound-proof and the neighbours don't hear that well...

Who invented that stroller? And what did they drug the cats with to make them ride in it? My cats would NOT go inside a stroller.

If you let the cats exhaust themselfs on CATNIP ... then ...while they are SLEEPING ... just kinda' sneak up on them and slip the decorative collars onto them ... they will wake up and think it was THEIR IDEA to don the collars !!!
( you have to get them all tho' or the collar-less ones will make fun of the collared ones ! )
Sorta' like that time I woke up with that tattoo ... but thats another story.

is it my imagination or do all the crazy things involve yellow tabbies?

i have a yellow tabby and he is def. the source of all the crazy at my house.

ps- mine really and truly would love riding in the stroller! i'm just not ready to put my own crazy on the streets.

My coworker has that cat buggy. She routinely takes her three cats out in it (two in the compartment, one on top) and visits businesses in the small town she lives in all the time. They apparently like (or at least tolerate) it.

My cats would make lasagna out of me if I tried to put one of them in that stroller!

We used to have a narrow strip of yard, about 10 feet wide, separating us from our next-door neighbors. They didn't complain when we talked to our cats, and we didn't complain when they yelled at each other, fortissimo, constantly, in Russian. It worked out fine. Now no one lives close enough to hear us.

I think that collar definitely counts as gay apparel.

I'm sure all my coworkers must think I'm huffing nitrous in my cubicle because your blog is simply so damn hilarious I can't even contain myself!! Thanks Laurie.

I have 2 illegal cats (landlord doesn't permit pets) that are just as crazy and I would yell at them insane things like that. I'm pretty sure my neighbors know that I have them and yell at them quite frequently or they could just be really dumb and think that I like talking to my boyfriend like that.

My cats would meow and scratch their way out of any of those pet products you posted. But it would be fun to put that jester collar with bells on one of them and laugh.

Who the heck would use that stroller? Apparently people buy those.

Oh, I forgot! BTW, I did see that Cold Case episode. My friends and I were making fun of it the whole way through because we're southerners as well and thought it was ridiculous.

I agree with you about the Cold Case show. Really dorked out! The lead singer was HOT however. As a Southern woman, I can ALMOST let shit like this slid off!!

I've always talked to all my animals, thank goodness I don't have neighbors close enough to hear. The bigger problem is that I talk to myself in public. You'd think I could at least keep the crazy stuff at home.

I don't have a pet stroller but I do have a doggy wheelchair for my corgi with degenerative myelopathy. It puts his hind quarters on wheels so that he can take his 2 walks a day. The little boy down the road always yells "There's that wheelchair dog!" when he sees us.

A cat stroller? That, in and of itself is certifiable. And if I had neighbors like yours, I would buy one and give each cat their own turn in it. That would really get them talking. :)

I've used that litter before. It's nice. But with 8 cats, there's no way in hell we could afford the amount we need. We don't even use litterboxes--we use those sweater storage boxes, because two of the cats are gargantuan (36 & 26 lbs) and they don't fit in the regular boxes very well.

I think the neighbors must hear us talking to them, but they haven't said anything. Yet. We're hoping they think that we have one cat (the permissible number) with a whooooole lotta names.

I did once see a woman in Grand Central Station who had a cat in a backpack version. Very weird, but the cat seemed unfazed. Or drugged.

I like Bob's side of the conversation best.

One day my retired parents (who live in Whittier- where I grew up) called me up hooting and hollaring while I was writing a paper at the library- I remember picking up the phone and hearing my mother
"Angie! We are at Dana point and you won't believe what we just saw!" (My mom laughing so hard i could barely understand her?)
Me: "Mom I'm in the library..."
My mom (Laughing hysterically) "I can't believe it!"
Me: "Mom what's so funny?"
(Dad grabs phone from mom) "Some lady had her fluffy lap dog in a pink stroller! She was pushing him in a pink stroller! Isn't that $#*ing ridiculous!"
I pause "Seriosly?"
Both my parents (both laughing hysterically in unison) "Seriously!"

So apparently people really do use them, not just for cats, but dogs too. Just go on down to Dana Point and check out the lady with the pink stroller (my parents like to go down there and they have seen her multiple times.)

drew -
step away from the Bob-cat. There will be no lasagna for you if you do not move away from Bob.

I'm glad it's listday, because we would all be sad to hear you were listless.

The stroller was the last straw. I get the Drs. catalog and I've seen the stroller and all the other goodies, and yet, seeing it now just set me off in a fit of laughter. It's never looked quite as funny as it looks now at the end of your blog. You crack me up CAP, you crack me up.

No stroller, but I do want one of those snugglies that moms get for their kids: one of my cats loves to be held, especially when I want to do something that requires two hands! My cats aren't spoiled!!

And I have a tortie that looks remarkably like Soba (she is NOT the one who likes snuggling). In fact, Soba is the first tortie I've seen who looks almost exactly like my Boo. She also loves to get in the bed while we're making it up: as soon as the bottom sheet goes on, she's up there!

My cat, Creature (aka Creepy; aka Red Rocket) and I talk all the time. She never lets me have the last word.

Everytime I see one of those cat strollers I reallly want one! Although ...really I can't imagine where I would take any of my cats in it. Two of them would be scared to death.
The strollers are just so cute! lol

I use worlds best cat litter .It's made of corn supposedly. lasts forever!

YOU can dress your cat's up....the key is you have to do it while they are napping. they are alot more cooperative when you have them in a stupor.

Question for you and your readers. I know you knit but I have a question to put out there about crocheting. I want to make a crocheted felted bag. I am looking for free patterns. I have looked for the past 2 hours for something that is free and what I'm looking for. If you could maybe put this out there as a question for me, it would be GREATLY appreciated! I am haveing a hell of a time trying to find something. I would like it to be in between a purse and tote bag size. I already bought the yarn to felt it but can't find a pattern. HELP! Thanks

Hey, Laurie (Or Southern Trucker Mama, as I like to call you) --

I was watching some TV show -- let's call it Cold Case -- when I saw a commercial for Petsmart, the pet store. They were advertising themselves as the best place to buy Christmas gifts for your pets. I'm a little afraid of asking you this personal question, but do you buy Christmas gifts for your lovely cats? And what do they buy you?

*gasp* Cat lassagna! *snort*

Around here, we threaten the parakeets with being cornish hen substitutes!

Lena - CrochetPatternCentral.com has more patterns than you can shake a stick at.

(and yes, I have just taken the lead in the I Can't Believe She Just Said That, What An Old Fart!)

I buy my cats pot. Um, I mean "catnip." heheheheh

I used to get them presents when I was married, I even made tiny stockings for the cats, too, because I am that big of a dork.

Now I just give them a pile of catnip while I drink. This is called "progress" ... or so I tell myself.

I would get the cat stroller but I noticed that the pink is not on sale while the blue is. What's up with that? Luckily many of my neighbors own cats so I don't feel absolutely crazy when they overhear me talking to the cats. And that litter looks fascinating. I think I might need to order a bag or two.

I haven't finished watching "Cold Case." I did notice the ridiculous names though.

Are you going to post the recipe for cat lasagna? One hopes?

I have stockings for all my cats (and dog, too!) I already bought them each a huge can of their favorite cat food (they eat dry) as a snack. I was going to wrap them, too.

I am beginning to feel like the HUGEST dork in the universe! Oh hell, I AM the biggest dork in the universe!

Oh and my father also buys my animals gifts for Christmas, too. It must be hereditary.

I've used World's Best Cat Litter:

http://www.worldsbestcatlitter.com/

which is also made from corn cobs. It's more expensive than the supermarket brands, and its odor control is only so-so, but it clumps nicely without its clumping ability going stale after the first few times you scoop it like the clay-type litters do (and then they go all sticky and gooey and yuck). I've been using big buckets of Tidy Cat lately, a compromise between performance and price, and it does a better job of odor control, but I may go back to WBCL just because it clumps better.

When my daughter was a tot, I remember seeing a lady with an adapted child's stroller with a gingham lined basket of yappy little dogs where the seat should be, and the expensive rain covers set, and being annoyed and jealous all at the same time because those yappy little dogs had a more expensive stroller than my little girl. The lady with the dog stroller occassionally still crosses my path, but now she's taken up shouting with herself, thus ensuring a wide passage on the pavement.

Is it wrong to be hungry for lasagne now? Cat-free, natch, I'm a fishy-tarian. We could make it with tuna, Bob can share ...

PS you would be totally buying the pink stroller, wouldn't you?

Well, I talk to my kitties all the time. We have a kitty (a long haired version of Sobakowa) that we named Screamer. Screamer lives up to her name, she screams at you constantly until you a) acknowledge her presence or b) pick her up. She's lazy.

Sweetie Girl snores. Makes whistling sounds when she sleeps. And she bites. But only me cause she thinks my husband is HERS. Weird.

Screamer and Sweetie do not like each other. At best they are tolerant of each other's existance.
I could not put either of them in the cat stroller and live to tell the tale. They would forget their differences and harm me.

Can't help you with the litter issue, we use Tidy Cat Scoopable Multiple Cat - heavy on dust and perfume.

And for the record (not that anyone cares) I hate Cold Case and I am from the North.

You rock, Laurie, thanks for the giggles.

oh so funny!!

I'm sorry theya re working you like a slave. you poor thing.

soon it will be over.

& hey you haven'tlost your sense of humor ;-)

I know someone said its too dusty but I've had amazing luck with World's Best Cat Litter. Sounds more or less the same as the stuff you're using. And its very flushable. Of course MY picky cat needs either some dirt sprinkled in or a bit of the old litter in with the new to really believe she's supposed to potty there.

So, um, yeah, my best friend from HS is one of the writers for Cold Case. I don't have tv access or I'd be able to confirm or deny if it was one of her episodes...to make you all not hate her too much, she's been having a rough time of it over there..."over the top" is big in hollywoodlandia when no one knows jack about a subject.

A friend of mine dressed her kitties in holloween costumes and I thought I'd die laughing...I'm sure I'll be seeing little elves the next time I visit.

Oh my dear, I'm sure the neighbors know you have only the best of intentions when scolding Bob et. al - tasty as he might be in tomato sauce and cheese.

My mother (who claims to be no lover of felines) almost bought that stroller for my orange and white tabby, but I put my foot down when it came to that. I have no children and she feels it necessary to spoil my cats rotten, courtesy of Drs. Foster & Smith.

omg - thank you - I SO needed that hysterical, lasting 5 minutes, deep belly laugh today - you know, what with all the crying going on over here and all - you just blasted me right out of a "bad patch"! ;}

I guess it's all what you're used to. I'm a vet. I'm reading all this thinking, hey, this all seems pretty normal to me. I talk to my pets all day long. I talk to other people's pets all day long. I used to drive a hot convertible. Got rid of it so I could truck my two dogs around with me everywhere I go. Drive a station wagon now. Bought my house for the dog-approved yard and the ginormous sliding glass door so the cats could enjoy the yard. I've had multiple clients seriously ask me if they could donate their organs when their pet's organs were failing (no, they're not compatible, in case you're wondering) and I don't bat an eyelash anymore. So road-testing every brand of cat litter and eyeing a pet stroller doesn't seem at all weird to me, Laurie!

Oh, and I left out the most important part: I purchased two of the bell collars you pictured, but for my dogs. Cutest damn things I've ever seen. Careful, though... my Golden Retriever shook his head and the jingle bells went flying. Not the most sturdily crafted piece of workmanship I've ever come across.

I was very impressed with how calmly the cats in the stroller were sitting there (I would have expected them to be lying down, heavily tranquilized). As far as the cat litter thing goes, have you ever tried plain old dirt? My (ahem) frugal great-aunt used that, or regular sand. Of course, you may need a chisel with your backyard pre-rain hardness. And my neighbor walks her cat on a leash.

And I bet Consumer Reports would be very interested in your review of cat litter.

This is crazy -- 2nd reference I've seen in a week about cat strollers! Ya'll gotta go find the model with the litter box under the seat. I'm not sure of the mechanics of that, but let's hope there is some kind of privacy screen, eh?

I use mucho expensive corn-based kitty litter, here. Flushes great -- And no goofy cat pics on the bag -- but, man, the piss clumps are freakin' gigant-enormo! They practically stall the Litter Maid and that "Thwak!" when the clump finally dumps into the waste bin at 3AM it can be a little disconcerting. Anyhoo ... I'd totally buy a cat stroller, if the cats would let me.

That is too funny! I was actually cleaning the poo box one day and singing the poo box cleaning song when friends came over. I now get requests to sing it! Highly embarrassing, thank God they have cats and laughed instead of locking me up! Thanks for the laugh, I've been working since 4 a.m. and am finally hitting the knitting at 7 p.m.

You made my day...thank you!

Eh, it could be worse. I talk to random cats in the neighborhood. Yes I do.

Today I was out pulling weeds from my garden and talking to 2 separate cats. My neighbors already think I'm nuts, why not go ahead and just be myself?

I'm really pissed about one of the poor kitties. The neighbor died and her family is selling the house. They started out feeding the calico, but I suspect that the only time she is getting fed now is when I notice her and take food over to her. I took food and fresh water over to her today and she is sooo skinny.

Poor thing can't meow either. It's like she has laryngitis (has been since the first time I noticed her last month).

As usual, thanks for making our days a little brighter and alot funnier!

Orange tabby lasagna! haha hahahahaha!

Smokeyjoe, goofy songs for each cat? Do they involve a play on their names? Honestly, I thought I was the only one scouting THAT level of crazy cat lady!

p.s.
no matter how much I loved a guy, contemplating a name like "Honey Sugar" (the ex-wife on Cold Case last night), would make me turn tail and run. That's just lazy writing, and I think we here have AMPLE proof of good writers out there in CA.

Oh my goodness! I'm going through the process right now of trying to find a decent (and somewhat inexpensive) litter for my cat, Jesse. He too has what I like to call a "condition." Otherwise known as a jacked up nose. As the vet sweetly explained to me after I adopted him, "he probably had a sinus infection when he was a small kitten. And because of that his nose never developed normally." He snorts like crazy, and it's only amplified after a visit to the can. (As I'm typing this he just cleared his nose. It's like he knows!) I'll have to try the corn cob litter. Expensive, but probably worth it.
Which, after that speech to a bunch of strangers about my snorty cat, brings me to the other thing I wanted to mention - I talk to my cat CONSTANTLY! Anytime he comes in the room I say hello and ask what he's up to. I tell him to be good when I leave for work, and then ask him what he did all day while I was gone. And when he sits by the door I tease him that his real family isn't coming to pick him up, like it or not he's stuck with me.

Laurie
You so have to get that stroller and start taking the cats out (while carrying a glass of wine)...just to mess with your neighbours' minds. I laugh just thinking of it.

Oh OK, cannot believe I am admitting this to ya'll. I have a song I sing EVERY morning to Roy. It's how we start our day. "Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey..." ya'll know the song. We sing it every morning.

I will never date again after this disclosure ;)

Can anyone tell me why the pink kitty stroller is so much more expensive than the blue one?

I mean... other than the obvious "because it's PINK!"

At our house, we have individual, goofy songs for each of our 8 cats.

We go through a LOT of Kitty Crack (catnip), too.

Three of our male cats will help make the bed unless I lock them out of the room before I start. One hunts for imaginary mice, one jumps on the bed and runs in circles, and another *pounces in the center of the bed, looks around frantically, pounces on the floor, repeat from *.

Sometimes all three of them at once.

At our house we don't threaten to make cat lasagna. We threaten to make cat soup.

I have spent a huge chunk of my life working in animal shelters. We use non-clumping litter in the shelter business because the entire, shallow litter box is dumped daily. At home we use Tidy Cats Multiple Cat Crystal Blend. Minimal dust, much cheaper than some other stuff. Ground corn cobs are great and low-dust, too, if you have a feed store within reasonable distance, you can get 50 pound bags cheap. They are also great guinea pig and rabbit bedding.

Those kitty strollers look like a dandy idea for car-less urban dwellers who live within walking distance of the vet but who don't relish hauling the plastic pet carrier full of 17 pounds of kitty-ness for four or five blocks.

DH and I both have conversations with our cats. Frequently. Two of the males and two of the females will talk back as long as you maintain eye contact and conversation. One of them even talks to himself.

And as for Cold Case, I cannot quantify my contempt for Hollywood when they do any kind of TV or movie about the South. I get mad enough just at BAD ACCENTS. Nevermind the stupid, cliche' roles and names. I don't think that everyone in L.A. is named Rainbow Peacechild, so why do producers think we Southerners have names like Sugar Honey?

They NEVER get Cajun accents or New Orleans accents right -- whether the New Orleanian is white, black or hispanic -- and it's just NOT that hard. Laurie, you live within shouting distance of LA, can you get me a job as a Southern voice coach, or would you grab it first?

Laurie,
I read your blog as often as possible. I also live right near you. I also have three cats & am a divorced woman aged 35. Woo Hoo for us!!!! I am addicted to Dr's Foster & Smith as well. I cant believe there was a day when I looked at those cat strollers & thought cool!! You crack me up so bad & make me smile so much!!! I have always wondered what the Q Market looks like on the inside!! Saturday night I thought I was the only one enjoying the rain as much as you. I opened all my windows & enjoyed it immensely!! As did the three cats Norman, Keemer & Schmootzy. Carrie, I would love to know your clean poop box song. I have one too!!!

You haven't lost your mind, but you've probably lost whatever sane reputation your neighbors thought you had.

So to confirm: It's a *bad* thing that I want that cat stroller?

My birthday is in two weeks. What is the age at which I'm *allowed* to be the Crazy Cat Lady? I have two cats right now. Do I need to acquire additional felines to practice CCL protocol?

Oh, that stroller's not too expensive - what with the "up to $20 off" you could get. You should have Bob pounce right on that deal while it's hot. Do you know any cat who would be happy to sit in that thing? Seems like there'd be a whole lot of fur flying in there while the cat tried to escape.

And, if the neighbors are next to your bedroom at all hours of the night, they deserve a little entertainment. If I were you, I'd rather them hear me talking about baking the cat over me talking about my "lady business" (as I heard a Southern woman refer to her nether regions the other night on Conan O'Brien) to a man.

How many times do you have to de-lurk before you're no longer officially lurking? And of all topics, I never thought I would de-lurk to comment about...corn cob litter. When I was even more certifiably crazy than I am now, we had an indoor bunny (as well as all the cats - please don't make me count them and tell you how many, it just makes me feel crazier) - anywho, I would buy corn cob litter for the bunny at Wal-mart. The brand there isn't flushable, but is compostable, and fairly cheap. Just thought I'd let you know in case the cute UPS man is running late someday during the busy Christmas season...

ooooh, pink and black, most definitely. can't you knit one? new here, nice to meet you.

p-o-o-pcorn

Hi Laurie!
first: sorry for my bad english.
second: your blog always make me laugh out loud here in my office that I share with loads of other people.
when Quincy the Cat (who lives with me)had to have a urine test taken AT HOME (becuase he has this problem that costs like a smaller car twice a year) I had a challenge of making him pee in something that isn't absorbing. I used unpopped popcorn and he thought it was okay (except when the corn seeds got stuck between his toes sometimes). anyway you might think of this as an option: dustfree, cheap and a nice razzling sound at night. :)
take care, Madelene from Sweden

My rabbit will also only pee on the most expensive litter on the market. The only substitute for her is the floor. She's a tough negotiator.

As for neighbors, picture this: I live in an unusual apartment, where the building was once a house, and whomever turned it into apartments did so the laziest way possible. That's is why our apartment uses the front door of the house, though we are on the second floor, and we have use of the foyer. To block the foyer from the first floor apartment, they tacked up some sheetrock and called it a day. This happens to be the only area of the house where Mrs. Cooper (aka: "Queenie") had never been. We just got a second rabbit (a boy toy for Coop), and had to begin the process of bonding. Mrs. Cooper, though she chose to keep her married name, has not been maried for quite some time. She's gotten used to her independence and likes having things her own way. She wasn't ready to be thrust into the dating pool again, much less into an arranged marriage with some guy half as big as she is (she says it makes her feel fat). Anyway, bunny introductions have to be made in a neutral area, and that area is as neutral as it gets, as Coop may well be the most spoiled bunny in America, who has no cage and full run of the apartment. We set both bunnies down, holding our breath, and all hell broke loose. Here's what the neighbors heard:
Me: "Hey, hey, hey!" (Furiously squirting with a water bottle.)
Boyfriend: "What was that for?"
M: "The water's suppposed to stop it."
B: "Oh, shit!"
M: "What's the hell is wrong with you?"
B: "I don't think this is a good idea."
M: "But I want to end it on a positive note."
B: "Uhhhh, I don't know if that's possi-"
M: "KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!"
B: "WHY ARE YOU YELLING?"
M: "It worked, didn't it?"
B: "Well, I'm traumatized."

I didn't really think about how thin the wall is there, until I noticed that the neighbor turned her music up really loud.

And the bunny bonding? We're letting them get used to each other through a baby gate first. I think Coop's really into the convict fantasy thing, rubbing noses through a gate because "the man" won't let them be together. Weirdo.

Guilt the cat - good one!

BTW I have seen one of those kitty totes IRL on "THE NATIONAL MALL" in front of all of OUR out of town guests....

I am sorry Mr. Norway, no we are not all "that crazy."

FYI Cat would taste better at a salmon patty....

Heh. Fred frequently gets threatened to be made into roast of orange cat. Because he can be a big pain in the butt sometimes.

Also--COLD CASE!!! OMG!!! I love that show most of the time but I was SO MAD. Life south of the Mason-Dixon line is not some sort of hellish, backwoods existance full of ignorant rednecks.

I've decided I should just move to Hollywood and make a living teaching seminars on such subjects as "The South: Moving Beyond Deliverance" and "Federal Security Clearances, Or, Why An FBI Agent Won't Have a Secret Criminal Past" (the Criminal Minds preview--oy).

Hi Laurie,
Knitting pattern central has a knitted dog color close to that one, its called jingle bell dog collar, I bet you could alter it and make some for your cat babies. Also, I live about 45 miles from Tulsa, Oklahoma, in Muskogee, and when I go anywhere and they ask where I'm from, and I say Muskogee, People will say oh "Okie from Muskogee". You don't know how much Us people from Muskogee hate that song. An Oklahoma Redneck Knitter. Anita

Ah..Shucks, I just noticed I mispelled collar on the first line of my comment, how redneck is that? Note to self.... use spell checker. An Oklahoma Redneck Knitter...Anita

Great laugh this morning, Laurie. I have the same issues with bedmaking at my house, and also, I chatter continuously to Ms. Graysea. She "talks", too, so I don't feel quite so deranged as the neighbors must think I am.
Recently, I saw a 30ish man, accompanied by a Paris wannabe, pushing a pink pet stroller which contained 3 chihuahuas. He was patiently waiting for her with the stroller, while she bought lots of chi-chi shoes. I happened to be with my 95 year old father and we both had all we could do not to make a scene laughing.
You are the best!!

Great laugh this morning, Laurie. I have the same issues with bedmaking at my house, and also, I chatter continuously to Ms. Graysea. She "talks", too, so I don't feel quite so deranged as the neighbors must think I am.
Recently, I saw a 30ish man, accompanied by a Paris wannabe, pushing a pink pet stroller which contained 3 chihuahuas. He was patiently waiting for her with the stroller, while she bought lots of chi-chi shoes. I happened to be with my 95 year old father and we both had all we could do not to make a scene laughing.
You are the best!!

Thanks for the laugh early on this Tuesday morning.

The stroller is classic, too funny.

Thanks from all in Nashville and the rest of the South for pointing out Hollywoods twisted notion of southerners. It's pathetic sometimes how Hollywood portrays us. We're not hayseeds anymore. With all the Yanks say, it's amazing how hospitable we are when y'all visit.

We have 3 cats (2 "legal", one "stowaway") and my hubby & I talk to them ALL the time. And yes, I have songs for each of them...hubby can't quite remember the words, so he doesn't sing them so much. The cats don't seem to care about the lyrics as long as their name is liberally sprinkled throughout...but they definitely react differently to singing than they do to just talking. And none of them would even remotely tolerate that crazy cat stroller!

Oh my god .. you are killing me.. I thought I had the somewhat crazy neighbor who calls after 9 or 10 pm looking for just 2 pieces of bread so he can make a sandwich.. or do I happen to have some cat litter he can borrow.. borrow?? I dont want it back.. or can he have one just one childrens tylenol.. ( single Dad of one daughter ) I love his after 9 requests.. they kill me.. sometimes he does call to see if my husband or I want to come over and drink with him.. haha.. he called the other night.. said hey watcha doin.. me: having a party for Nates 4th birthday why? Neighbor: Oh well I have National Lampoons Christmas vacation and I wanted to know if I could maybe come over and hang out and we could watch it on your big tv. Me: umm sure come on over.. we are all just hanging out Neighbor: Nah its ok.. I dont feel like hanging out with company? Me ?????? uhh ok.. well if you change your mind..

What the?? He wants to come over and watch a movie he rented on our tv.. but he doesnt wanna hang out with company???? he kills me.. So I think he wins in the crazy neighbor category.. I think you are off the hook.

I talk to my cat constantly. Sometimes I even call him in from the other room to kill a bug for me or check out something on tv. Now that we've moved in with my boyfriend and his cat... well, the two of them think the two of us are completely, certifiably nuts.

At my old apartment I used to scream bloody murder at the cat for his special trick of jumping on the table, to the top of the wine rack, to the top of the hanging wine GLASSES rack on the wall. I sincerely hope the neighbors realized that he was a fully grown animal creature, not a toddler I was screaming those words at.

This is the first I've seen in perusing your site detailing Roy's condition that much. It sounds VERY MUCH like my mother's guy Gabby's problem. Is Roy much with the massive, scary, green snot rockets? That's what we deal with, as well as all the scary how-can-you-sinuses-be-that-bad-and-you're-still-with-us moments. Those are hard. I hope he's doing well this month :)

OK, confession. My sister has one of those cat strollers. I once visited a liquor store with her and the stroller (and the cat)! But at least it isn't the pink one.

Mine would not wait for me to be asleep is all I can say.

I don't like dust as much on my own account as the cats', but have never found a non-clay cat litter I (we) liked. The two least dusty clay litters I have used are Dr. Elsey's Precious Cat (horrible name, good litter) and... uh... I can't remember the name of my old favorite, which comes in one of those back-destroying 40 pound buckets and has bits of charcoal in it, which seems to help with odor issues. I think it's Fresh something, but no, it's not the much more widely available Fresh Step. Unfortunately, the last two times I have bought it it smelled perfumed, even though it claims to be unscented, and the perfume makes me AND the cats sneeze, so I switched to Dr. Elsey's. Which I cannot get "locally" though I only have to go to the next city 25 miles away. Which I realize IS local to people in big cities, but I'm all used to my little town now.

Reasons I did not like non-clay litters:
That citrus one: hated the smell! Never even put it in the box.
Anything with particles bigger than traditional clay litter: cats would not walk on it.
Crystal: One cat always goes in the same spot, so you wind up with a puddle of yellow soggy crystals. And it never develops ammonia smell, but it does smell like fresh cat pee, which is not as bad but still not great. And they didn't like walking on it.
Corn or wheat: constantly smelled like a combination of fresh cat pee and wet corn or wheat. Again, not as bad as it could be, but not great. And Swheatscoop is so light that it tracks like crazy and also the cats throw it all over just for fun.

I have one cat who really, really, really, really, really wants to go outside. The reasons I have not bought a kitty stroller for her are 1. $$ and 2. on the rare occasions we do go outside, she really, really, really, really, really wants to eat the grass/shrubs/leaves/neighbors' houseplants/anything green, so I don't think the stroller would satisfy whatever weird need this cat has to be outside. (I give her kitty grass but she still wants to eat the outside grass.)

My cat helps with the changing of the sheets too!

Idjit!!! hee!

Oh, and in regards to the stroller, I do not have one. But my cat does go outside on a harness and leash quite frequently so he can chow down on some grass. Or dead oak leaves, as he showed a preference for this weekend...

Oh, Laurie, that's the funniest thing I've read in a LONG time! I was straining SO hard not to be heard laughing in my office over here. I love that you were trying to guilt him into feeling bad for you. I would've done the same thing!

Also? I didn't see that episode of "Cold Case", but I don't want to watch a show like that anyway if they are that much of an idjit. Unbelievable.

as a new cat owner, can I just say that all of you are scaring me?

Those strollers? They come in doubles, too. I saw a lovely older couple wheeling their pussycats around the Grand Canyon in September. Saw the same couple with kitties the following day at the meteor crater nearby. They were pissed because apparently meteor craters are not kitty-friendly, stroller or no.

And you're not crazy. I sing Chrsitmas carols to Mr. Riley Face, with lyrics changed to suit his feline tastes. For example, "Jingle Meow Rock." Or, "Oh Come, All Ye Pussycats." That, my dear, is a prime exaple of The Crazy.

I laughed til I cried. Not only do we talk to our cats, but our cats talk back. Two of the three children in the house do the cat voices. (The oldest thinks we're crazy.) And each of the four cats has his/her own voice. The cats don't have to be with us to speak, either. It's not unusual for me to driving around while the Queen Cat Daisy is interviewed by my son. The voice of Daisy provided by his younger sister. And the cats often provide commentary on the news of the day, what's for dinner, how I'm driving,homework..

Laurie,

When my cats were having the same problems I found this litter called Yesterday's News. It is Dust free, made of recycled newspaper, VERY absorbent, and MUCH cheaper than your current brand. 30lbs = $13.99 You can find it at Petsmart, I haven't checked anywhere else.

Hope this helps.

*
You are just so darling and funny - I have been laughing and loving your post.

*

The cat litter sounds interesting, ya know, but since I also have dogs, the litter needs to be...um... intestinally safe. if you know what I mean. They think Fruitcake (the cat) bakes the best brownies, ya know? :)

Sorry. I can't be home all day to scoop the poop. At least those 2 are good for something.

My little kitty will only use Dr. Elsey's Precious Cat litter, with a sprinkling of Dr. Elsey's Precious Cat "Cat Attract" litter on top. I swear changing the litter box is a more delicate process than making a souffle(not that I would ever make a souffle, but still...)
Before I left for the family festivities at Thanksgiving, I realized I didn't have enough of the main ingredient (i.e. the regular Precious Cat litter), nor did I have time to drive all the way across town to the pet megamart...so I thought I would trick her by cheap grocery store litter in with the Cat Attract.
Now my older cat could care less, as long as he has a clean place to do his business, but little cat literally picked out each and every piece of cheap litter and left it scattered on the floor. My bathroom and guest/cat room looked like the Sahara desert, only without real sand.
And little bits of the cheap litter (distinguable by it's very grainy grayness were in my bed.
Cats is funny, even when they are pissy!

Yes, "Cold Case" did suck to an unreasonable degree this Sunday!! I'm not Southern, so I don't really know what the South is like, but even I laughed at the names and stereotypes they foisted upon us. I did like that they made the black cop a country fan, though...

I feel like they weren't giving their audience much credit for knowing good television when we see it... and we do, don't we?

Don't feel bad. I talk to my cats too....and to myself...often.
I had to laugh when you mentioned the Dukes of Hazzard (or the Dukes of the Hazard, as my seven year old calls it). We were on our way to get a tree last night with the boys in tow. My eleven year old pipes up and says, "For my birthday, I think I want to travel." The Brit and I raise our eyebrows and I have to ask, "Oh? Where are you thinking of going?" He replies, "Georgia". The Brit asks why and the son replies, "To see the General Lee." I am unable to resist, "You do know that the Duke boys don't really live there, right?"
Silence.
Yup, the kid no longer believes in Santa but Bo and Luke Duke reside in Hazard County.

You know we love our katze as only cat lovers can love them.

My cat -- nicknamed "big fattie" -- ragdoll mix with the temperament of a siamese, totally looking like reagdoll (talk about dubiuos behavior) weighing in at 18 lbs, loves to kiss me and then try to bite my lips off...and then chases me to try and bite me some more when I tell her, "DON"T YOU DARE!!". She actually gets mad and hunts me down!

Who are these creatures. And to think that I bottle fed her little abandoned crazy a**!!! I'm convinced that's why her mom left her -- she was probably biting her when nursing.

You know we love our katze as only cat lovers can love them.

My cat -- nicknamed "big fattie" -- ragdoll mix with the temperament of a siamese, totally looking like reagdoll (talk about dubiuos behavior) weighing in at 18 lbs, loves to kiss me and then try to bite my lips off...and then chases me to try and bite me some more when I tell her, "DON"T YOU DARE!!". She actually gets mad and hunts me down!

Who are these creatures. And to think that I bottle fed her little abandoned crazy a**!!! I'm convinced that's why her mom left her -- she was probably biting her when nursing.

Our little Ruby has "azmar" too. I'd go with the Clump and Dump litter but her bio-daddy Rufus would probably read that it is food (corn based) and try to eat it directly out of the bag. If I don't immediatly seal up the incoming kitty crunchies in a large lockable containter, the food bag will mysteriously get a big triangle shaped hole in it.

Some of these comments just kill me! I love it! Heh. I just bought a new kitty litter but I think I'll go back to the other one. This one doesn't mask the smell much at all. Someone waaaay up yonder mentioned Jessica Simpson. I told my hubby the same thing, how horrible her accent was and she was born and raised in Dallas! Must have been in a more citified and diverse area of the city because the smaller, older surrounding suburbs have that Texas/Southern accent going on. Hubby's from East Texas - got that thick twangy sound.

I'm thinking about getting one of those strollers for my fish tank ... it's a small one, and the fish haven't been anywhere forever. heh

BED MICE! Is THAT what my new kitten keeps chasing on the bed? Well, that clears things up. Thanks.

I love how the title of the webpage says 'Cat Strollers: Strollers for Cats', in a yeah, we can't believe it, either, you crazy people will buy anything. I'm sooo glad the fleece pad is removable, cos who'd want a second-hand cat stroller that smells of annoyed cat? HA HA HA HA HA HA AAAAA!

After seeing these a while ago, Amandamonkey (www.amandamonkey.blogspot.com) and I have decided to afix these little stroller things to the backs of matching Vespas and ride around Chicago every Sunday to all the yarn shops. Oh the places we'll go with our cats!

I think I have Bob's cousin living with me. His name is Bartholamew, he is big, fat, orange and chases the bed mice when I change the sheets. I know what you mean by both annoying and funny. There are days he gets closed up in the bathroom til the sheets are on.

BTW, I'm a new reader! very glad I found you...

But you DO speak Southern, right?