Laughing hysterically. Word up, sistah.

LOL! Best photo caption ever! Yo.

I'm about in tears (up in herr).
Gangsta slang + grammar = never not funny.

Thanks for the pick-me-up!

o.m.g.

that was tff.

because a girl has got to know: aren't thongs like, really uncomfortable?

just wondering.

Please, answer smokeyJoe's question.

Heehee to the rest of the post!

hilarious! I think pulling a flash presentation out of your a*& has some great gangsta rap lyric potential ;)

Wearing a thong is sometimes more comfortable than full-butt underwear, if the thong is the right size, and is soft cotton. That's just my opinion, though. I hate having my undies ride up and get in the awkward places, but a thong is designed to be in, uh, the awkward places ... so they're not bad. Frederick's makes a plain cotton thong panty that fits perfectly.

I tried to get a link to the Frederick's site, but of course the firewall at work blocked it. Whoops!

last week someone said something I wrote reminded them of Crazy Aunt Purl...I'm 58 and that's one of the greatest compliments anyone has ever paid me...girl you are spit my frijoles at the screen funny. I heart you...

Busting a comma up in yo' ass? Fantastic.

Grammar gangstas of the world, unite!

LOVE YOU!
this post rocks.
so does bob.
xoxo to the kit kats.
WORD!
:o)ek.

It's not very often I find a blog that makes me laugh out loud. You're linked now! Thanks for the laughs. werd Up *points fingers in all different directions while crossing arms*

My anaconda don't want none if it ain't got buns, hon.
Yours,
Jen

I need new non-granny, non-floss-up-my-butt kind of panties, so I've gotta check out Frederick's. Sorry for the graphics, Laurie's dad. Bob is too cute. Again, I suggest a chez cat calendar.

haha! I took a break from housecleaning to read blogs and yours almost made me fall of my chair laughing so hard. OMG that picture is awesome. Teehee.

Delurking to profoundly declare: Fo' rizzle bizzle! :)

P.S. Have you heard about this? (http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/lifestyle/
bal-to.liz07nov07,0,2913735.story?coll=bal-artslife-today)

Laurie? Honey? Maybe you've been in Los Angeles just a little too long. I thought you couldn't take the Southern out of the girl, but now I just don't know... ;-)

"Word to your meow mix provider" made me snort out loud! Which clearly proves I am not working, which is what I am supposed to be doing. Back to photo formatting...

Did you keep the socks on for the duration of the shower?

I'm laughing so hard that I'm wheezing. /snort

Your father should be thankful that you're talking about wearing panties vs talking about not wearing them. Trust me.

And I thought my morning was interesting. Boy returned from LA and was telling me about the photos he brought back from his 'wild night out'... and who Ron Jeremy is. I guess I'm too old and out of it to know. I feel so old and wheezy. *L*

OMG crack me up.

this made my day. nice job.

I rarely laugh out loud, particularly at work.

Purl, you are gettin' me in some kinda trouble!

I think K-Fed needs to hang with you for a spell; then he might really become the gansta he imagines himself to be.

Huh, wouldn't it be queens? You know, queen is to cats what bitch is to dogs: the proper term for the female in certain contexts. What would rude slang be like if it were all from cats instead? Would you and Soba and Frankie be Roy's quee-yons? Would you be queening about your laundry situation instead of bitching about it? Yeah, ok, I am procrastinating too.

I am also cold. I need to knit a hat. If I wear a roll-brim hat inside out, will the brim curl inside and maybe make it snug around my ears, which are also cold?

How long did it take you to pound out that text message? It would take me like.....4 days.
I like how you roll ;)

Lol!!

Love the gangsta Bob!

HA! I totally puctuate...everyone thinks I'm nuts.

You. Are. Crazy.

In all the best possible ways.

How can you be so simultaneously incomprehensible* and hilarious?

*Only because I am a way-out-of-touch 40-something white chick. Deal with it.

I love me a blog entry with punctuation AND required vocabulary. Especially when it makes me spit water on my screen at gangsta Bob.

All I can think of is:

Too Legit, Too Legit to quit! I have no idea why??????????????

Dayum girl!! Not only are you and I born ON THE SAME DAY in the SAME YEAR but we are currently both experiencing the un-godly inability to pull random work related miracles out of our nether regions!! Word. You totally make me laugh! I am the most annoying texter on the planet with my punctuation! Why *can't* I add parenthese to my message?? They're totally necessary!! Keep it up, woman!

You get SPRUNG.

That is all.

Yo Laurie
I feel ya homes and love the way you roll.

Bwahahahahahhahaaaaaaa.

Oh, you just made my day! : )

Word.

"You mean up in my semiCOLON?"

Me amo Peloncito!! Way too funny... And yeah, when this out of touch white girl pulls out the inner gangsta, it's old-school style... But it's all good yo.

And if you get bored (and your firewall doesn't block it) you totally need to look up "shizzle" on UrbanDictionary.com

just FYI a 40 is a .40 caliber handgun. And also? I love you! I am also down with the visible panty lines today and I feel the pain.

Oh, thank god, I'm not the only white woman dating a man who calls himself "gangsta" . Then he tried to convince me that his stuffed animal manatee (My stuffed animal polar bear would completely kick his ass, but the way) was actually "gangsta". And had a "pimp flipper".

HAHAHAAHAAA! I am laughing so hysterically. That's one of your best posts EVER.

EWWW. Flash. Yuck!

Just had a "flash"back to intermediate webdesign, a class that I took only because I had to and hated more than anything!

Laurie, you roll with that flash and run up on it with a forty and all that jazz.

umm..."All that jazz" probably isn't the gangsta slang that belongs there, is it? I failed my flash class and gangsta 101! Go figure!

Dear Laurie,

Respect. Big ups to you.

Target's Gilligan O'Malley brand makes a microfiber thong that you can hardly feel, particularly if you buy it one size too large.

And it comes in a Tupac, which is reasonably priced.

Word. Fo shizzle.

Cordially, rb

p.s. we need the 411 on El Peloncito

Yeah...

Quien es that guy? (just had to use the Francisco-ism)

I could tell ya'll... but then me and my homies would have to bust a cap on your mama 'n them....

OMG RB that is THE FUNNIEST COMMENT EVER... "It comes in a Tupac, which is reasonably priced." HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

i thought the 40 was a 40 oz'er. like you'd be all creeping up behind someone with a big old bottle of mickeys. give them a paddy whack!

Aunt P, I hope you know how much I love you. Well, not in a scary or stalkery way. But, even though I usually lurk here (because really? Usually the other 112 people who commented before me have said what I am thinking in response to your posts), I adore your blog.

Gangsta Bob is one FIERCE PF*!!! *(purry-furry) HEE! Love to the posse! and hugs to the posse mommy!

I am sitting in my cubicle laughing hysterically. Thanks so much

"semiCOLON". You know he spent the last half hour coming up with that. Funny sh!t, regardless.

Love this! Although my cat gang flashes me signs when I laugh and admire your cat gang... should I be worried? Yeah, I know. They'll attack when I'm trying to sleep, as usual.

I just wanted to thank you for posting, even when you're horribly busy with more productive things. I check your blog every day for new posts and I'm always excited when I see a new one!

Mwahhahahaha!!! Too Much!!! It reminded me of what Jeff Foxworthy said:
"If your mama drives you to school, pull up your pants, you AINT gangsta!""

I am sitting here in tears from laughter. I absolutely live for your blogs. I wish you could just stay home and blog all the time. All Laurie, All day!

White & Nerdy,

Chris

It comes in a Tupac!!! I've never posted but man, the comments you get are ALMOST as good as your posts! Too funny..

I'd roll with ya anyday!

On a day when I received my final divorce papers, you made me laugh (which didn't seem possible a few minutes ago) so this one's for you (and all the rest of us who have to learn to accept that we are "blessed" with the juicy booty):

"Turn around, stick it out. Even white boys got to shout, 'Baby got back!'"

I love your blog. You never cease to make me smile and laugh. You rock.

Thongs all the way, baby.

(pssst!! did you ever quit smoking?)

Bob looks so debonair even when he's working the gangsta vibe. You are too damn funny, write that damn book, willya???

http://www.urbandictionary.com

Hilarious. Because there's nothing better than white people spouting gang slang they don't know the meaning of. Reminds me of a friend in grad school. New Yorker. Looked Jewish, but was, in fact, Irish-Italian. Actually looked a lot like Woody Allen, but was always talking about his "peeps" and how he rolls. Cracked me up.

And, just some random info to make you laugh...

A close friend of the thong wearing persuasion did a summer exchange thing in Spain. The obsessive lady she stayed with was found by my friend one morning scrubbing my friend's thongs spotless. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "anal retentive," eh?

I need to tell you three things:

1. Love your blog. Love it. I actually get worried about you when you haven't posted for a few days.
2. You have introduced the phrase "because that's how I roll" into my everyday conversation patterns. I think my friends are hoping it's a phase. I'm hoping it's not.
3. Re: yesterday's post -- yes, the passion can last, and yes, it is possible to find a man who is funny, sexy, smart, handsome, and great in bed, all at once. Before I met my husband, I had never had a relationship last longer than a year, mostly because I lost the spark long before that. I've been with my husband for almost 10 years and he still takes me from zero to "let's do it!" with a single touch.

I am peeing in my pants from laughter. Hey if you figure out how to get cool animated stuff spring from your nether regions pass that one along... I could use some of that mojo.

totally made me laugh out loud and get busted perusing the internets by my boring coworker. and now i have "i like big butts and I cannot lie" playing over and over in my head. you are hilarious.

note to self: water with lemon juice imbibed during the reading of a CAP post will end up snorted onto computer screen. Drink at your own risk.

Ok, too many things to even pick one to comment on.....My coworkers now not only know that I'm not working, AND they think I'm crazy laughing out loud by myself...

Holy crap, you're wicked funny somedays. (Many days). Are you this funny in person? Your coworkers must love you.

Laurie-
Oh. My. Gawd. YOU rock- I am so sending this link to my darlin' sistah's at Charles Drew University- they laugh so hard at my sorry bad-slang-using ass (is there anything more sadly, pathetically funny than us day-glo white girls trying to be "Down"?) that they are gonna LOVE YOU!
And who doesn't love them some Aunt Pearl? Can I get a shout out to our Laurie's cah-razy lovableness? Ho! Hey! Ho!
(yeh- I'm sad-sorry-and-SO-white)
But FYI to you gents- unless the lacy undies are VERY soft (and thus, VERY expensive) the lace is ROUGH and so not anything you want wedged into the nether regions or near your "pink parts". If you want an idea of what an all-lacy thong might feel like to wear for a girl, get a fresh bit of clothing with a lacey edge, open your mouth, and rub it slowly and steadily against the underside of your tongue and the corner of your mouth. Yeah-THAT'S why only strippers where cheap lacy thongs--'cuz 1- they get PAID to and 2- They DON'T WEAR THEM FOR LONG!!

Thank you for making me nearly snarf radioactive neon orange Doritos (which also rhymes with peloncito).

I can't WAIT to read this post to my husband. And he gives ME crap for talking gangsta?

Funniest post EVER! You are hilarious. Word.

An' we kno u aint frontn!

Laurie,
This one had me laughing out loud! I have been reading your blog for some time and never left a comment - I get dizzy scrolling down to what would be my place in the queue.

I have to listen to this shiznizzle every day driving my teenage gangsta back and forth to school. It is so contageous. I am someone who never uses the n word and sometimes I find it rolling around my mind like a tin can with a penny inside on the floor in the backseat of my car.

P.S. Try Carefree pantiliners glued directly onto the seam of the crotch of your pants. You will never need to wash underwear again!

It is entries like this one that make me call my husband to the computer. And he laughs harder than I do.

you crazy

LMAO yo yo baby pop!!

What a great sense of humor! I rarely laugh out loud at blogs but yours has me crying! Thanks for the laugh. Word! *crosses flabby white arms and points fingers in all directions*

Holy crap, that was friggin' hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

you are so funny with this uh...slang? hope your thongs get warshed soon! VPL just ain't cool.

Yeah, no offense to Miriam, but no way is the .40 caliber popular enough to eclipse the forty ounce in thug vernacular. It's all about the Olde E, baby. You hit somebody with a bottle of that and they stay down. Speaking as a semi-suburban, semi-housewife. In my hood we get a lil rough when the neighbors don't clip their lawns exactly 2 inches at exactly 2 weeks.
There's a great conspiracy theory about the establishment and the 40 oz. malt liquor. (I say great because it's big, and kneejerk reaction 'haha!' but actually pretty d@mn plausible) And, sheeeeeeit if there wasn't a video on youtube of Martha Stewart guzzling some on Conan, but NBC yanked it b/c of copyright issues.

And amen to Target's microfiber thongs.

Yarnartist,

What if the pantyliner came unglued and fell out your pant leg as you're walking...just saying...

Very very good.

Oh my Gawd, Laurie! That has to be one of the funniest things ever that you have written. I'm just dying over here from laughter.

"Word to your meow mix provider"

OMG that is way funny!!!!

That microfiber Target heinie-floss IS good. It's comfy. Plus it stretches, so if you have to whip a powerpoint out of your tuckus it won't ride up. Or down. Or whatever.

Alas, the only rolling I do is over the top of my jeans, and don't nobody want to rap about my muffin top.

No junk in insid'at trunk, eh? Haw. Help, god, I just aspirated my coffee.

Look like you heading 4 advanced gangsta. The next step is really making a video of yourself doing the c-walk, as you threatened citizenofthemonth. I know we would all MUCH prefer that to another video of your bus ride.

How do we nominate this for the Perfect Post awards?

Seriously. I snorted--at work. Very, very funny stuff. You rock, girl.

Cool...a new nickname for the boy. HEH. He'll love it.

Laurie- I love you!! That was too funny!

BTW-"what it do boo?"

word.
Heidi

... you all up in my grill homey...

you is da bomb, sista girl..

You can solve them panty lines by going commando.

Hi Purl,

Just found my way to you via Roadchick's website. I have been meaning to check it out forever and just now got around to it. This is only my 2nd post to read but I think I may be getting hooked already. "You mean semicolon" Rotflmao!

Thanks for the laughs

BD

I must know: are you this funny in real life? 'Cause I don't see how ANY ONE could get ANY WORK DONE with you around. I'd be blowing Cheetos out my nasal passage.

Wiping the tears from my eyes - this was so stinkin' funny! SOOOOOO absolutely what I needed! From now on when I am working on projects I will think of you trying to make your button in flash work and the big butts song.

I recently attended a party of many jingle singers (people who sing commercials) and I met the meow, meow, meow lady!