One hundred percent dead on post. Thank you. I'm just at the point where remembering the beginning is ok, and feels nice despite the ending.

After a hard separation, the bad memories overwhelm everything for a long time. Eventually, as the anger and sadness recede somewhat, the good memories poke their heads back out. Even though it hurts, I do believe it's important to hold on to them, if only to remind yourself that you weren't totally insane, that there was something worthwhile there, at least in the beginning.

Thank you for sharing, Laurie. :)
*hugs*

Wonderful post, Laurie. Thank you for sharing. I don't know if we can ever really completely understand what goes wrong in a marriage, or completely avoid all the pitfalls there are out there by choosing differently. Perhaps all we'll get is a different set of problems, who knows? The best we can do is be happy with who we are and then maybe we can find someone who is happy with who we are.

I'm so glad you're getting to the point where you can remember some of the good stuff too.

You are the funniest thing - I surfed in via a comment on another blog and I will be back! You seriously crack me up.
I want to see some of your knitting. I didn't dig to deep because I am at work, and low and behold they expect me to work - but I figure someone with a crazy mind like you probably does interesting knitting.
Can I have the number to your useless yard man? Mine doesn't even show up until he drives by and realizes I have finally broke down and mowed it myself, then he spends all day working on it and expects to get paid (he only comes when I am at work so I can't supervise).
I live in Florida, so you have to be pretty darn bad to kill your yard here.... but my plants and flowers look fabulous. I just hate moving, weeding, leaf blowing and trimming. Give me a pretty bouganvilla any day of the week.
If your hubby has a brother - I am looking for a man who hears me too. Until then it is just me and the useless 90lb greyhound. He reminds me why I don't date - he has gas, he is lazy, and he eats me out of house and home. But one of these days..... the man of my dreams with run over me with a bus.
Happy Wednesday.
Holly

That may be the sweetest, saddest thing I've ever read.

Break ups suck. No doubt about it. It's always good when you can look back and say, "Well, at least there was that." about one good thing. Good for you for finding it. Even if it is just one thing, dang it.

When asked, I always say that my favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption, even if it's really Spaceballs.

I try to take all my experiences, good and bad, as educational, even though this is sometimes difficult to do. You clearly are a different person now than when you first got married, and you might not be in the good place you are now without having been married once before and learned about what you really want from a man. Back in the 1950's, it was considered a shame to be divorced. Now, I consider it a selling point, like work experience. It shows that someone learned a whole lot of lessons which makes this person better suited for being in a strong relationship. If I were you, I would get a t-shirt that reads, "Divorced, Sexy, and Knows What I Want."

I hate giving you a big head, but you are one damn good writer.

Good girl. remember the nice things and let go.. sounds to me like you are doing awesome.. keep it up..and I will tell you I am divorced met the man I am currently married to he knew right away I was to be his wife I was a bit more well uhh clueless.. didnt think he would have any interest in me.. a few months later we met again.. talked for hours 6 months after that we bought a house together 2 months after that we got married in our house.. I have taken all the crap from the first marriage ( abuse verbal and Physical and taken those scars with me ) to see just how amazing life can be with the right person the person you are supposed to be with.. its totally amazing.. and you know what you will have that.. I just know it

When you tell a story, you suck me right in. Work? Production problems? What?

Damn.

Funny how a memory that a few years ago would have made you fall apart, is now something nice to hold up in the sunlight and enjoy?

It means you're doing fine. Wonderful post, dear.

You're right--you have to remember the sweet beginnings in order for your decision to get involved make sense. I entered my previous significant relationship in much the same way, though at an older age--I was 35, never found Mr. Right, and beginning to think that we all have to make compromises anyway, so this guy seems good enough. But of course it didn't work out, and I ended up four years older with two young kids.

But the good news is that there is always hope, especially if you you learn from your own history. I went on to find the right man for me, though in years past I would have bet my last red cent that there was no such thing.

You have so much life and light in you, that when you are well and truly ready, you'll find the one you're looking for.

Thanks Laurie... I'm still not at the point where I can bear to think anything good about my ex, and I hope I get there eventually... it's still too fresh for me to think about our time together calmly!

i have to agree with your other commenters here. lovely post. and it certainly seems like you're doing so much better. yay!

It is totally possible to still have that spark years later. My hubby and I have it after nine years of marriage and twelve years of being together, after two kids, several moves, and dealing with his mother. *sigh* He uses it to his advantage sometimes, turning those gorgeous blue eyes on me right when I'm hopping mad so I forget what I was upset about . . .

The right man will be there at the right time. You know what? You could start knitting a sweater for him to fill. There was a preacher at our college once who told the story of one of his single gals in church who bought a pair of pants to hang by the end of her bed. She would pray every night for a man to fill them. She was dating in a year and married in two. He also said that, after using that story at another college, he heard of a guy who did it using a bikini. He was married in a year, too.

Just think of the power of yarn and needles and a strong woman. :D

Laurie, that was incredibly sweet and sad. I'm glad that there is at least one lovely thing you can look back on from your relationship with Mr X(mayherotinhell).

Loved you post for today. People are rarely all evil. It's just that shit happens.

Wow. just totally wow.. of course that's what I say about 90% of the time I read your blog. you are truely a story teller.
Denise
www.knitchat.com

You do deserve a man who thinks the world of you, now and 30 years from now. Comfort is wonderful and important, but your partner should be ready and willing to tear down doors and shout from the rooftops because he loves you so much. If I've learned anything over the last six months, it's that you and your partner should be stronger together than either of you can be apart. If not, it's just not worth your time.

Yeah, I did the divorce thing - at the ripe old age of 23! Now 15 years and 3 kids later and happily married for the last 11 years to honestly Mr. Wonderful (I'd tell you stories, but they'd make all the women on the planet kill me off!), I have to agree w/ Carina's post above. Maybe when we're 90 I'll swear I never said this, but the physical attraction (for me at least!) has never faded - he still takes my breath away! Of course HE may feel a tad differently when he looks at ME at 5 a.m. after a late night of cleaning up kitty puke, kiddie puke, and doggy poo...

That is some deep doo-doo, young lady. Well done!

Laurie,
When you wrote this:

I saw a man who was nice to me, if somewhat detached, and I thought that I liked him even though I knew things weren't perfect with him. We didn't talk a lot, and there wasn't really any crazy passionate you-know-what.

"But attraction fades," I told myself. "He's a nice man, stable, smart, funny, and besides. Eventually in marriage you move past pure physical attraction and see only your friend, the person you live with, the kitchen-reality of your life together forever. We're already there. We're comfortable."

I thought you were writing my life. I'm so glad you didn't spend 20 years trying to make it work.

And the remark about the golf cart? LOL.

Hang in there. I believe there's better things in store.

Beautifully told Laurie. Marriage is a totally queer thing. Take it from me...I know.

That was beautiful. You are beautiful. Thank you!

Well Lady Blanche Dubois, "We as women demand so little sometimes" and let me just add that We as SOUTHERN women demand even less sometimes. It's in the breeding or water or something.

Laurie reading your blog is like relaxing with a glass of wine with your dearest friend, you are a breath of fresh air, and simply put just lovely.

Amy
the not quite southern belle in TX

Laurie, you are an amazing person and you deserve an equally amazing man in your life! I love how the lesson you learned from your marriage was, above all, don't settle. I'm just now learning that lesson myself, currently separated from my husband of 8 years.

I found my "golf cart" guy, and he was fun for awhile, but we both have to hold out hope that there are men out there capable of filling both shoes...the passion, along with the intelligence, and a caring nature. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

That was a nice start. I'm glad to know the good things that brought you together, because there always was a reason. And though after 7 years of marriage sometimes we're a little less like wild passionate teenagers, I did have that love at first sight beginning. I was crazy wild in love still the day we were married. It's good to remember the happy beginning even when there wasn't a sad ending.

Perfect Timing on the story Laurie... and what a sweet story it is.
I had a friend ask me about an ex the other day, and it was nice to tell a story where the hurt had it's place in the past...and no longer ached.
(In 2 and a half years he never once said I love you - in fact when I said it,he said "and I love beer" - riiiight)
Maybe you could just keep telling us all your lessons ? They're entertaining, witty and useful!

Thanks for sharing! It probably feels kind of good to write it all out, and read it back and realize not only that it helps to write it, but also that you are putting it behind you.

It was a great blog entry. All of your readers appreciate your honesty and description.

Thank you for sharing! You are moving on - you are remembering the good and remembering how it touched you. You deserve so much better. I really enjoy your post.

What a lovely post. I think it speaks volumes for how far you've come in your healing process. You are so much more the person you were meant to be, now, and it makes me happy to see you (well, you know, read you) this way, remembering some good things, noting how much you've changed, knowing so much more now, who you really are.

The other day I found an old cell phone that had a recording on it of a conversation that I had with my ex-boyfriend. Hearing his voice shocked me back to the day of that conversation...and back to the good times we shared. It felt good to remember the good and it somehow made me appreciate my current boyfriend that much more.

But that was then. I swear if I saw him in person I'd kick his ass. I think I'd get closure then.

Somehow I always pegged you for Charlene Frazier Stillfield ;)

I believe that for marriage to truly work it has to have enough passion forever. Sometimes its fierce and sometimes its quiet - but it is always there.

Good story. At 47, I have never been married (even though I had offers and some of them lacked chemistry) and have my moments where I wonder if I did the right thing. Thank you for the reassurance. If I never find Mr. Right, at least I know that I am a good strong person who enjoys her own company. Bless you Laurie! You always make me think.

Gotta tell ya. I was on the verge of marrying Mr. Nice Guy. He was and is a nice, intelligent, pleasant, interesting man. I loved him. But I wasn't ever infatuated. And it would have been a big mistake. Then Insanely Hot Fascinating Australian Man came into my life and woke me up to the possibility I could, actually, go nuts over a boy, and fortunately I did not marry Mr. Nice Guy. Instead Hot and I had six fabulous months together, after which he decided he was returning to his wife, but in the meantime he had introduced me to his Wicked Cute Highly Intelligent Very Funny Australian Man friend. I sniffled a little over Hot, fell madly in love with Wicked Cute, and remain so 13.5 years later. We're now married, and even when I'm irritated with him I'm also nuts about him. It can happen. It is worth finding. You rock and you will find him.

That is a sweet story, and you've reached a major milestone when you can store it in a separate jar from all those bitter drinks that came afterward.

But about companionship... I am lucky enough, lo this quarter-century down the road, to find myself living with a man who is noticeably less studly than the one I married, but who is kind and gentle and creative and a great dad and who totally cracks me up at least once a day. I may be comfortable, but I am never bored. The best part of it is that I didn't even have to change men.

(And you know, right? that there are some rotten cherries in my bowl too. I just think you shouldn't knock companionship until you've tried it.)

i really hope that when this whole "living together whilst broken up" thing is over, i am able to remember just one nice thing

because right now, there are none.

It is nice to remember something good, huh. I'm glad you're doing that now. I didn't do that with my ex-husband until he died. And that's too late. There are too many other emotions tangled up in that one little bit of happiness you had. Good for you, Laurie!

As a gal who is going through the heartache right now with fresh open wounds, I take solace in your post that I will be able to look back without so much heartache. Someday.

I have been reading your blog for over a year and have never commented. But I felt compelled to say Thank You. So, thanks Laurie. You are the greatest.

Dude. I'm sure there are people who are different, but in my experience, everyone peters out and gets complacent, regardless of the situation. Jman and I were crazy attracted to each other when we first met, EVERYthing was so dramatic. Now, I refer to him as my gay roommate.

Sad, really.

Very sweet, and nostalgic. I thought I was the only one besides Blanch her self, who could "do" Blanch so well. Love you, mean it!!

Melissa
In Mississippi

Nice.

**HUGS**
I am very grateful that I found your blog four months ago while just looking for an easy hat pattern. I found far more than I was expecting. Thank you for your "Living Out Loud" philosphy, your courage in sharing your life with total strangers and braving the Dreaded DPNSofD.

Don't listen to MonkeyGirl. I loves her lots and all, and she oozes talent, but after 13 years my D.H. and I are still passionately, madly in love. The kind where our friends tell us to get a room when we're out to dinner. The kind where we go out of our way to make each other laugh. The kind when one of us is out of town for a few days we make up for lost time. The kind where he still gooses me ‘cause he like to. He’s a dirty old man; what can I say?

That kind of love happens, and I think it’s worth waiting for.

Also, doesn’t it feel good to remember the good? Even if it’s little? It makes us feel human and humane.

I try to remember the good things about my ex and our marriage because it makes me feel like less of an idiot for marrying him in the first place. I mean, there had to be some good somewhere in order to fall in love.

I think that in LTRs/marriage the passion does wax and wane. You can't sustain the "I have to have your RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW" 24x7/365. Real life gets in the way. I think the reality is that when you're with the right person, you know that the passion always comes back and is always sweeter and richer than the last time.

You've come a long way, baby!

I'm not quite there yet, myself. But that's because I still have to see my ex most days, and he's still an ass. But it's coming. Just not on PMS days.

What a great post. How good to be able to see the positive part, no matter how small, and let go of the rest.

And it's one thing to accept the crazy in our selves and in others, it's another thing to think we, as women, deserve no better.

You should write a novel called, "I Am A Cautionary Tale."

And, I've said exactly what you told yourself. I told a college class full of people how marriage is really all about comfort... blah, blah, blah... divorce the next year... blah, blah, blah. We had fun together, but there was never any passion.

I've been with my current (and future) husband for close to 7 years now, and I still have that same desire for him, even if with three kids, we don't have as much time to act on it. You're definitely right about choosing passion the next time.

I married a good man too. he's just not a good husband, or not for me at any rate. I just hope that I can be as sanguine as you when we finally get out of this mess.

Your writing is such a comfort.

I, too, chose someone "comfortable" early on, although, thank God, we didn't marry. "Comfort" is not enough glue to hold two people together. Hell, I'm pretty damn comfortable living by myself these days. It will take a hell of a lot more than that to kick me out of my comfort zone, and I'm guessing what it will really take is passion. And boy, that doesn't come around every day, does it?

I'm so glad you've reached the point that you can remember the good things; I don't think I could be that forgiving in your shoes. Seeing the positive about some of my bad childhood is also known as "being happy that I outlived the bastard."

After 19 years of marriage, I do regret that we don't still have the passion that led to indiscretions in the back seat of a car, but I wouldn't give up the companionship for anything. The last five years have been hard on both of us, passion-wise, with "female troubles" getting in the way. But we still hold hands while walking through parking lots. We still kiss hello and goodbye. And we talk about it sometimes, so it doesn't get between us.

But I never would have married him if the passion hadn't been there. In fact, I dumped my supposedly steady boyfriend not long after I met my husband, because the boyfriend was "okay to date until someone I love comes along". (Wow, that still makes me sound horrible, twenty years later.)

Well done, dahling...you perfectly articulated far too many points to list. The Mr. X I really loved and trusted is too newly X (and turned out to be an assweasel extraordinaire) to remember positively or with affection yet. But the Mr. X I married? Well, other than being the supplier of the bio-product needed for creating the SuperFooGirl, the most positive thing I can say about him and the one memory that can still make me smile is what a fierce team we were playing Pictionary. But SuperFooGirl and I make an even better team :D (her illustration of 'mad cow disease' was PRICELESS).

btw--yes indeed, "The Princess Bride" IS the most perfect movie ever made! (Have you read the book? TO. DIE. FOR.)

Thank you bushels for this one.

Awesome post & writing. I hope you find someone worthy of you who truly appreciates how special and talented you are.

Laurie, you are breathtaking. You'll go a few days writing all ragtime and wacky, we settle in and have a few laughs. Then comes the day we open your post and you broadside us with the intensity, the poetry of your introspection. Really, some days I feel guilty that you are giving it away to us. A-mazing!

Beautiful post. You. MUST. WRITE. A. BOOK. Seriously.

My shrink once told me he never trusts people who only bad-mouth their ex-, because there must have been something good about them, or they wouldn't have married them. But your Mr. X cheated on you, so even if you did have good moments, the guy is Evil with a captial E and deserves to be run over with the Karmic equivalent of a Mac Truck.

Twice.

There is never an excuse for lies and cheating.

Anyway. I accidentally stumbled on an old photo album of my Mr. X and I - photos right after we got married. I look genuinely happy (and Lord! Thin!) and he looks as if he's trying to figure out how to look happy. I think he married me because he felt that at 25, that's what he was supposed to be doing, and I, dolt that I was, thought tall-dark-and-brooding was romantic, not signs of severe depression and a personality disorder.

My fiance and I like to joke that we will scandalize the nursing home when they finally put us away. Yes, he makes me feel safe and loved and we finish each other's sentences and it's just so EASY to be together - but the passion - YOW! Hold out for that. You'll find it.

Damn, Aunt Purl. I loved that story. Your story. For a moment there, you transported me to my memory lane and my story and my Mr. X.

While currently I'm an over-40, knitting obsessed, spinster, cat-nanny, I can tell you with complete conviction that attraction doesn't always have to fade. I sent my Mr. X off to the other woman 4-years ago (wine-glass-salute to their union, and my peace of mind). But my parents have been together now for 50 years! Yes, 50 years. 50 years of loud voices, loud laughter, loud arguments, ... 50 years of life out loud. 50 years with attraction still intact.

It's out there Laurie. Don't settle for anything less.

By the way, I too LOVE your prose, and your ability to just be so real. You have a real gift. (In addition to being so well endowed with felines!)

I started seeing a counsellor to get this silly-man-business of mine under control. She says to listen to even the smallest doubts, most of us are intuitive about this stuff but we don't/won't listen. Most important of all say "THIS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME" when it feels wrong, if they don't stick around they weren't meant to. It's my motto for the new me, I feel empowered and it's wonderful. The object is once we are control of our situation we will attract a new kind of man - one who is open, compassionate and kind, not controlling, belittling and selfish.

Good luck Laurie!

The times weren't all bad and when you can remember the good ones, I think you are really starting to move on.

Princess Bride is the best movie ever made.

My ex-husband told my father he was gonna marry me someday so I couldn't marry him fast enough. Two weeks later, we were hitched. The divorce was less than a year later.

Next time, get the lust! It makes the companionship much more fun. Bev

Hear, Hear Laurie! You should have an advice column (even if no concrete advice is given, it's abstract you know)

Laurie, you took my breath a way with your final paragraph:

"It's almost a relief to remember something nice. Something kind, like how he rented those movies. It feels like letting go, I don't know why. But it feels good to let go, a little. Just one nice thing."

Wow. THAT is STRENGTH, and grace, and forgiving yourself for what came after.

Thanks.

Congratulations on being able to look back and see the good times. It shows that you're moving on, making your own life and finding happiness in that life. It's my personal belief that you can't find happiness with another person unless you can be happy with yourself.

Having been married to the same man for over 37 years, there is truth to the passion shouldn't fade group and also to the don't knock companionship group. I've found that throughout a marriage you have periods of passion and periods when things are not as hot all the time but the caring should never fade. And the perfect marriage is different for everyone, we all have our own idea of perfection. I know you'll find yours .

thank you for this, Laurie. I've found myself thinking of good times with my X, and you're right, it is a relief. It's certainly better than beating myself up about what in retrospect should have been red flags.

What they all said.. and Princess Bride.. Best.Movie.Ever.

wow. and timely.

but your beginning about low expectations reminds me of my favorite line by a favorite actress. Julia Roberts in "Something to Talk about."

Cute Boy, watching JR eat apple pie, "Wow. You Southern Women are sure easy to please."

JR: "It comes from years of being bred to keep our expectations low."

Oh. my.

As for passion vs. comfort - there is more than one way to California. Its about the journey - not the destination, and I firmly believe that the way you find for you is what you need at the time. Even the disasters. I am a walking lesson for the rest of the world. Fortunately, I didn't marry my 7 yr relationship - plenty of passion - enough so that he hit me at the end. yuck.

You weren't married to Ish were you?

Hello there. I've been reading your blog for months and months, now, and you always either make me laugh or make me think. And I'm a cat lady myself, so I understand (only have two of them, though).

I'm going through a really rough time myself at the moment, with my husband having an affair. At times I want to hit him, other times I want to leave and never speak to him again, other times I just want to stick to it to see what we can salvage. So far I'm staying, but I have no idea where this is all going. Still, it's nice to think of the better times and remember all the good, sweet things.

As guys, sometimes, we do dumb shit.

It's what we do.

sorry.

P.S. ,,, Hey Monkey Gurl, s'up!?

WOW! I thought I was just odd when I married a man I really wasn't attracted to, and when it took me two years of crying in my milk after I left HIM because he was mentaly abusive. (HUGS) I am now married to my best freind and soul mate. Life can have a happy ending. We have been together for six and a half years, best freind for over 10. The sex and passion sometimes goes when there is sickness and stress. It always comes back. The feeling of bonding always does stay, though.

That's a sweet story. I probably would have married him too just for that. Well, as long as he didn't have any annoying habits.

Hi. I just wandered here by a link and now I can tell I'll be checking for your posts twice daily! :) I married the first guy I ever seriously dated, and THANK GOD! He's a pain in the butt, and not very ambitious. But, he's lovely. We're friends, we laugh like morons, and he never blames me for our problems having a baby. He's also patient with me, which makes me TRY to do the same for him. Did I mention he's cute? Anyway, two marriages are always alike as chalk and cheese. Both are useful, but not for the same things. I hope you get the person who deserves you next time, the one that makes you feel like a lucky girl on your worst day. That's the ideal marriage.

P.S.
"Take it easy, you've been omstly dead ALL DAY!"
(R.I.P. Andre the Giant)

Hi. I just wandered here by a link and now I can tell I'll be checking for your posts twice daily! :) I married the first guy I ever seriously dated, and THANK GOD! He's a pain in the butt, and not very ambitious. But, he's lovely. We're friends, we laugh like morons, and he never blames me for our problems having a baby. He's also patient with me, which makes me TRY to do the same for him. Did I mention he's cute? Anyway, two marriages are always alike as chalk and cheese. Both are useful, but not for the same things. I hope you get the person who deserves you next time, the one that makes you feel like a lucky girl on your worst day. That's the ideal marriage.

P.S.
"Take it easy, you've been mostly dead ALL DAY!"
(R.I.P. Andre the Giant)

I want to hug you :( But I'm glad your life story is shaping up to be a happier one!

Thank you, Laurie!This post really hit home. But then your post always do...

Brava!

You like Stripes too? Oh way too cool! I'm Bill Murray's character, which are you?

You like Stripes too? Oh way too cool! I'm Bill Murray's character, which are you?

"I saw a man who was nice to me, if somewhat detached, and I thought that I liked him even though I knew things weren't perfect with him. We didn't talk a lot, and there wasn't really any crazy passionate you-know-what."

You've written my life in that paragraph. The difference between you and me is that you're out of it and free to find the man who will treasure you as you deserve to be treasured. Me, I'm still slogging along, trying to get myself to the point where I can be free.

Take a look back at your posts on Mr. X. You have come a long way, dear. A looooong way. I'm proud of you.

I really loved that post. Another one to flag, think about and reflect.

One of your best posts ever! Maybe in a future post you could summarize your wisdom (and your readers?) about what to look for in the next guy...having learned so much from the first go round. That would be ever so helpful to those of us still trying to figure out what the "right" guy looks and feels like...

Exactly.
I wish there was a way to reach out to each hopeful young twenty something girl in Los Angeles (or anywhere for that matter) who thinks that comfortable is OK and 'good enough', especially with the older 'industry' guy, to tell her that it ISN'T enough.
This is exactly what happened to me Laurie. Although I worked for a record company.
And he was a musician, ten years older, with an Australian accent.
I remember a few good things, too, but I am mostly thankful that he wasn't a super awful person and that I found ME by going through those years and the years since.
I will never settle again.

And I LOVE your blog but don't comment much because your loyal fans have said every thing I could say and then some by the time I get here.

Thank you, thank you for doing this blog thang as well as you do becuase you are the best :)

you should send that in to the new york times.
in the sunday style section there is sometimes a story about relationships. this would be
perfect.

Sometimes it absolutely amazes me how you can tell parts of my life story even though we never met. And in some cases, you tell parts of my life story that I never realized were there! The thoughts, the unconscious decisions, the love and the hurt. Maybe I should just make my blog a link to your blog! (Except that I only have 2 cats.)

You know, I was just telling my little sister the other day, as she goes through with divorcing her lying, cheating, unemployed husband, that I don't regard my first marriage as a mistake. The first few years were not a mistake, and there were lots of sweet moments. I am sure this is blasphemy to some, but in hindsight I'm not sure all marriages are meant to last forever. It doesn't make the whole thing a mistake. In my case, only staying the last year or so was a mistake.

I did find Mr. Wonderful, and while certain things about him drive me nuts, 7 years and 2 kids later, I still can't keep my hands off him. And, fortunately, vice versa.

Dr. Seuss said it best: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Mr. Right is out there, and he won't care what your three favorite movies =really= are. Be yourself!