first first first!

i'm so glad you're back!

I think I'm first and so I don't even know what to say! Except you're funny. And I like ham. And I'm a dork.

Dang it.....I was not, in fact, first.

so glad to have a post at last...i was going thru CAP withdrawal (sorry, i know you have been very very busy what the working and all, but you must know that we all need our daily fix!!)

sorry bevvy, i've been WAITING IN ANTICIPATION of a new post. pictures of the cats. news from the state down south of here.

I have the silver version of your phone, and yes, I also have the text message bug. Mainly because I was in Ohio with no internets and they made me go to a Golden Corral, so I had to text my little sis, who would have a panic attack if she was there, just to share in the joy.

And then the new guy sent me sweet texts about how to survive trips with old people. I had to upgrade my phone plan and everything.

you have your phone on vibrate.... hee heeee.....

Poor baby kitties! Due to baby invasion at our house, the two fur babies have decided that nighttime is the perfect time to seek love and attention that they don't get in the evenings anymore because of said invasion. So my limited sleep becomes even more limited. Sigh. zzzzz

I am sad about Reese and Ryan. Hopefully she won't do a Heather Locklear/Denise Richards thing with K-Fed & Brit!!

Apparently I'm 12 years old also...

"I am sad about Reese and Ryan. Hopefully she won't do a Heather Locklear/Denise Richards thing with K-Fed & Brit!!"

EW! EW, EW, EW, EW, EW!!!!

I'm not sure if it is better to have a cat knock over a water glass or to do what I did this morning....which was while filling up a plastic cup of water (a rather LARGE plastic cup) with the purpose of depositing said water into cat's water bowl, I dropped it. Right on top of one feline named Micah. He was way not happy.
Glad to see a post from you! We miss you!

File under "HAM": The Honeybaked Ham stores sell the bones, in the freezedr section. They make the most rockin' pot of beans or soup that you have ever tasted. Because it's ham plus...sugar, and caramel color and whatever else they smother those things with that makes them so delish!
Hang in there. Things seem to be a bit crazy all over. And now the George W & the Rumsfeld have split as well!

At least your cats did eat your living room furniture in protest - like my dog did last week! He literally ate part of the upholstery off the chair...>:-( Animals don't have emotions...scoff!

It's good to be 12. ;-)

Chica, I'm on deadline myself and nearly dead. Another reason you will not cry is ... go watch some Teen Girl Squad even if you have seen them all before. And be 12 for another few minutes. Or thank God you're not. :)

http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html

The kitties are obviously watching way too much HGTV while you're at work...I think Roy's innocent, sweet face is just masking his scheme to sell all of your furniture and replace it with shag carpeting and pimped-up kitty condos everywhere!

I text w/my boss on Monday nights during Prison Break - and starting in January, during American Idol too...
Usually it's "Did you see that!?!"
or "I hate him/her!"
So really we're all 12 with super secret ninja walkie talkies again. (and I love my boss too!)

Another good reason not to cry: Friday is the deadline for sending squares. Of course, with temperatures like that, you grandmother may not even want a freakin' blanket!

And I thought it was "unseasonably warm" here! ugh

You might be forgiven more readily if you actually *did* bring home bacon. And cooked it up in a pan, you know, and fed it to your cats. Mine love bacon (and ham, just like you!) and will forgive me for lots of things for a bit of pork.

In the case of Charles, I will be forgiven anything for a bite of pistachios, sunflower kernals, Jell-o, gummy worms or beef jerky (in addition to the pork).

Love coffee. Love flip flops. Love it that Britney finally came to her senses. And text messaging -- my husband and I have all kinds of code words; it's so fun. Love your blog. You're awesome!

Did you see the sexy ankle strap heels at Target? I need to trade in the cat for a man, so I'll have a reason to get them.

You'll text me while I'm in the ER after I fall and break my ass, right?

Another good reason not to cry: Friday is the deadline for sending squares. Of course, with temperatures like that, your grandmother may not even want a freakin' blanket!

And I thought it was "unseasonably warm" here! ugh

If you figure out the magic recipe for making coffee at home that doesn't suck, please let me know? For some reason, every time I make a pot at home it makes me sick to my tummy :(

Also -- cats make mischief. This is what they do! One of my cats is currently on a mission to destroy any potted plants on the property. I actually do not think he intends to hurt them -- but apparently they are comfortable to curl up in, as evidenced here:

http://www.elsewherevintage.com/images/spikenip15_small2.jpg

And someone tell Mother Nature -- enough with the heat already! It's FREAKING NOVEMBER!

Ok, I KNOW we have the same phone....how can you feel it vibrate?

I can't feel mine unless I put it in the bra..I kid you not!

But texting is Awesome! My 8yr old showed me how.

Between you and Drew I have at least one good laugh a day! Bless you!

My good freind was once in charge of distributing the new cell phones to about 50 employees, and "we" set the phone to vibrate before giving it to the head of the laboratory, who as you can guess was NOT a vibrating phone kinda guy. What a hoot! I only wish I could have seen his face the first time it went off!

No coffeemaker? For how long?

It boggles the mind.

OK - I am clearly not 12 because if I was 12, I would know how to text. Currently I only know how to return a text message. Which is totally lame. (btw - KFED-EX FUUUUUNNY!!!!!)

Yeah, I got the Britney-KFed split breaking news email from CNN.com and thought - they have sunk to a new low. CNN, that is. We already knew Brit/KFed were low.

I had to laugh out loud about the text messaging, because I JUST learned how to do it yesterday! I felt like the oldest, most out-of-touch person on the planet when I admitted to my husband that I'd never sent a text message before and didn't even know how to do it. We both figured it out, and like goons were text messaging each other across the living room!

Boy, I just love your blog! Maybe someday you can come to Boston, where it's 50-something degrees and rainy and cloudy and gloooomy today...

need another reason? how about the Marie Antoinette doll whose head pops off, so yours doesn't have to? I heard about it on NPR (interview with Dave Barry). I'm not sure how this is supposed to help, but you did mention your head popping off, and it made me think of this doll.

The heat has seriously been giving me panic attacks. When will it end? Why did I buy a black car? Why is our other car's AC totally fucked? GLOBAL WARMING IS GOING TO KILL US.

I've also recently been converted to the texting. It is so convenient for things like gossip! And for sending pictures of shoes and haircuts back and forth with my friends who live far away.

Also, hi!

I think I might have to start a Roy fan club, cause I just love him.

This reminded me of you & your garden....
http://www.leevalley.com/gifts/page.aspx?c=2&p=51543&cat=4,54&ap=7

If cats don't have emotions, how come they only like to barf when I'm trying to leave for work, and end up torn over whether to clean up the barf and be late, or have dried barf to look forward to at the end of the day? Hmm?

Roy is super-cute anyway, give him a smooch from me. =)

The picture of the cat is priceless. You need to put that on a shirt and sell it at Cafe Press. You'd make a mint.

DSW Shoe Warehouse is my own personal mecca. I cannot step inside that place and come out with one pair of shoes. I usually leave with 3 or 4 pairs and in a very good mood.

My cats like to knock jewelry off my dresser and also dig to China [in my potted plants]. Fun!

Have you seen these? Afternoon Delight I found a champagne-colored pair at my local shoe store on sale for $21.00 and they are SO cute and comfy!

Here's the link, my html didn't work.

http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/18134004.html

YOU HAVE BEEN WITHOUT COFFEE AT HOME FOR HOW LONG????????

Sorry...I think I need to switch to decaf!

I missed you, cutie!!! ;o)

my cat, napoleon, pees in joe's clothes if they're left on the floor or in a laundry basket. not mine. only joe's.

no emotions my ass. well unless hatred isn't an emotion

Smokey Reeves, my dog, likes to rip up soft squishy things when he is feeling neglected. Like the couch cushions. Ask me how I know.

My similar recent sources of joy!

1) 2 months ago I started dating someone who is 6 years younger than I am, and that's when I learned to text! Because I'm practically dating someone who's twelve. (well, actually he's twice that, but who's counting? I still feel old.)

2) My best friend bought beautiful, men-will-follow-her-drooling boots, so I went out yesterday all inspired and bought boots too.

3) I get to read wonderful letters from my Crazy Aunt Purl while I'm sitting in my cubicle all day.

Yay! Thanks!

Hey, I'm 12 too! Yesterday, my 60ish coworker, hollered the breaking Britney news across the office to me. Poor Roy, methinks that bacon is the cure. Ha! Ha! bacon, cure, get it!

Seriously, November is going by too fast. The 20th will be here before you know it. Hang in there.

My kitties do the same thing! My personal favorite is when they drag out all the linens. I finallly had to put a child-proof (or kitty-proof in this case) lock on the cupboard doors.

Britney was one of the main topics at dinner with my husband tonight - gosh, and I thought it would last forever.

And, your cats are like three-year-old.

Good to know my cats aren't the only ones obsessed with moving stuff around. My kitten likes to take my makeup brushes and other things from the bathroom into the living room. And my older cat loves to get into the warddrobe and knock all the clothes out of there. I have to keep it secured with a rubber band to keep her out.

9. we're getting real close to 'holiday food season'

i made a pumpkin pie this week, and i'm looking forward to a cranberry upside down cake. and cheese grits! and greens! and sweet potatoes!

so glad you're writing today. i needed to read your humor :) i love your list.... need to make one myself b/c right now i am not feeling the most "together." but at least you got me thinking positively!

thank you!

One of the ENGINEERS at work called me over to his desk to tell me about the K-Fed/Brit split. You just know it's important if an engineer will take notice. Because they're all so busy designing the world and all.

Where'd the gardener go? Did you kill him? I liked the gardener stories.

Big hugs and kisses for RoyRoy.

omg. It was 101 down there??? Awful. But agree about the flip flops.

I WAS MISSING YOUR BLOG SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!! Glad you are back - Yous texting "issues" are hillarious-I TOO just recently learned how to text my instructor was my 8 year old son :/

I actually think they need a "Text Messaging for Dummies over the Age of 28" book to help those who are hopelessly poor in writing quick unintelligible messages with all the new hip text message lingo. I'm still stuck on LOL and BRB.

Reason #9 Not To Cry:

At least the Santa Anas aren't blowing, which would mean that it's Christmas Eve ('cuz they *always* blow then, sucking the needles right off the tree they're so dry), AND which would mean that you're behinder than you thought on all your Christmakkuh knitting AND which would mean that you really need to make your new year's resolution "No More HAM!!". Which would suck. And make you cry.

So you don't have to cry!

We are 12. Also, perhaps because I am 12, can I say that I am jealous that I am not the only one who gets City of Encino knows 2 to party text messages! Only because it's Drew (and I mean because I like Drew, not because I am afraid that he will crochet a voodoo doll of me), I will not be mad.

oooohhh..... your cats have been taking lessons from my cats. Because I'm pretty sure mine (or at least Simon) know how to text message.

Hi Laurie,

I recently discoved your blog (from Drew's blog). I think you are wonderfully funny and I am totally addicted. I love the cats! I ran to Walmart at lunch today and saw a girl wearing UGGs and I thought of you.

Yay! Roy and Laurie!! I was wondering about a new CAP post as I was driving through traffic today. Then it occured to me that you haven't mentioned the birthday manicure... how are the nails these days??
Like Drew, I have the clapotis bug. My 4th this year. Antibiotics don't work!

Roy!!!

I got the K-FedEx news at gofugyourself.com. Love that
blog almost as much as this one. Britney is looking good.
Which has nothing to do with anything except me procrastinating about my own deadline (midnight tonight).
And it is 80 here - nice but unusually warm for the season.

People who think animals don't have emotions aren't paying attention. Or maybe they're judging by clams or something, which probably don't have any. Cats? Totally do. My cats know all about boredom, for the same reason yours do. I'm convinced boredom is behind some of the strange things I find when I come home. Like, why was there a piece of something that should have been in the litterbox, on the floor at the bottom of the stairs instead? Obviously, someone got bored with their other toys and went digging in the box for something new to play with.

Hey Fluffycat, if you see this... I used a rubber band to keep a cat out of a cabinet but she kept messing with it, and messing with it, and messing with it, and I thought she could not succeed in removing it... but she did, and then swallowed it, because it turned up in the litter box. That cat would eat any amount of stringlike items I would permit (needless to say, I don't leave string where she can get it, because it is very bad for the inside of a cat... knitting gets put well away when I'm not doing it).

Great post! I adore you CAP!

DSW will kill ya! I have one 2 minutes down the road from me and it can suck you into it's evil void, never to be seen again. I got my first paycheck for the school year in Sept. and I ran there and bought a pair of sneakers and two boots. I'm still feeling the financial effects of making my "deposit" at DSW.

P.S. Can I add that I'm jealous you're still wearing flip flops?

You have the coolest boss ever. Except my boss--Hi, Marcia!

At least your kitties didn't knock the lamp on top of the cell phone charger, thus MELTING it and nearly burning your house down...

I take a night class on Wednesdays. My fiance goes over to my house early just to be with the three furballs and be their slave so they don't destroy the house because OMG! the Mom human is not there to brush their fur and otherwise worship them at 6 p.m. I come home at 10 p.m. and find him surrounded by felines who have him pinned to the couch.

I am 12 too! My whole office is 12! We are ridiculously THRILLED that Britney dumped K-Fed but are sad because she has two babies by that dirtball.

And did you know coffee - fresh-brewed - has anti-oxidants? It's GOOD for you, girl! My fave coffee-related study (this is real, I swear) found that women are 50 percent less likely to kill themselves if they have one cup of coffee a day.

Oh, Poor sweet Roy! (I love the name Roy. It's my dad's name, and he's grey just like gato-Roy)

If you get time, go over to my blog and say hi- I'm having a "say hi in my comments" contest and the winner wins a Habu Kusha Kusha scarf kit (very cool kit!). If you win it will come to you oh-so-fast as I live just over the hill in, not quite as hot but still stupidly hot for November, Hollywood.

I thk it mght B fun 2 type in txt msg fmt! I just wish I knew how. :)

Laurie,

I've wanted to say this for a long time. Thanks for helping to keep me sane during my year of d-i-v-o-r-c-e.

That kitty looks like he needs some love. He looks all cuddly. I can't leave any water glasses full of water around here, my cats dip their paws into them and lick the water off. Then the really fat one just pulls it over trying to get her head into it. The rule of thumb here, cover the glass or empty before you leave otherwise, there will be a mess while we are out.

Yay! Nice to see you posting again. I was starting to wonder if you'd fallen off the face of the earth. Hi, Roy!

Glazed Ham! HAR HAR.

hey do u have tivo or something like that that u can have record shows for you? i think u would love the british version of (what not to wear)... they keep redoing zoftig girls like moi, and i am actually learning how to dress and shop for better looking clothes, should i ever have enough money again in my life to do so... and since ya'll r a round edges kinda girl like moi, i thought you'd get a kick out of it...(((hugs))) yes i will hug strangers if the vibe is right. =o)

Oh, I fear the cold beyond belief. Glad you're writing, and love the Kitties. How can anything too bad happen to us when we are warm?

you have 68 comments?????[well, 69]...gee, you are popular!...i love your blog...it always cheers me up...

Another reason not to cry: watch the PaxilBack video on youtube (at home, not work) and laugh your ass off. PS. Dorks rule.

Not to worry: apparently the rest of the country is also twelve, as it seems at least one major network broke into the election returns with a bulletin on Brit's marital difficulties. I of course was not watching as I was busy knitting frantically and panicking that the Evil Ones would win again.

Here it is raw and rainy. I keep telling you: move to New England. You'll love it here. We have lots of banks, even.

If you will excuse me, now I have to go find a twelve-year-old, a real one, I mean, who can teach me how to text-message.

I love texting too... need more folks to text with!!
How's gramma?
I am SO glad Britney dumped Fed-ex ...hope she picks wiser this time!
I will have to try that olay stuff -- it doesn't make you break out??

My husband had the phone on vibrate and imagine his surprise when it went off as he was on a ladder hooking two electrical wires together! He thought he was getting electrocuted.

Hugs to the kitties!

It's Sobakawa - such is the way of the Tortie.

You started the list with "Bringing Coffeeback" and I started singing to myself, "I'm bringing coffeback. Them other drinks don't know how to act." And I am sure I will have this stuck in my head for days now. Thanks.

I have been remiss with celeb gossip. I did not know about the BritBrit-KFed divorce. All I can say is it's about time. Maybe she took a cue from Whitney Houston.

Finally, I thought it was a cat's job to redecorate while you are out. I know that B&N seem to think that that's one of their main purposes in life.

I texted people about FedEx too! I'm excited, in fact. Next time something big happens, text me and let me know!

That was the first text I got a few mornings ago! It not only woke me up, it also made me fall out of bed with the sheer grossness of it all. K-Fed.. eww.

Oh, and WHAT IS UP WITH THE HEAT. AND THE WIND. The Valley is scary sometimes.

I love the CAP! And the Roy!

"Clapotis? Penicillin!"

And I'd just cleaned the monitor.

Thank you :-)

Hey! I like flip flops and ham too!
Good luck with your project and with not losing your mind.

Is your cat dangerous?

Yea!!!! I also am 12.....really....I am sick and was given my Z-pack prescription by a pediatrician! That's my proof.....

(It's convenient sometimes to rotate through the pediatrics clinic)

*Snrck* As I was reading about your experiences with texting, I got a text from my husband. Who likes to send me pictures of volkswagon beetles for our ongoing game of punch buggy (we are also 12).
As for seperation anxiety, the cats are a little more clingy when I get home from the new job but there's no damage done to house and home. On the other hand, the puppy has eaten a telephone, the dryer vent cover, and the cable that brings us the internets and the telephone. Anybody want a 1 year old rhodesian ridgeback?

I have such warm, happy memories of DSW. I loved "relaxing" at DSW when we still lived in Florida. Now I'm up here in the Pacific Northwest and there's no DSW. I knew we shouldn't have moved up here!

3) Up here in Massachusetts, they interrupted the hotly contested wicked crazy mudslinging election results to tell us that Britney's marriage has crumbled. If that's not America in a nutshell, I don't know what is.

I just got one of those programmable Mr. Coffee models as well! And yeah, it magically starts dripping at the right time every day and it's SO COOL. I cannot get over it. So... not saying you're not a dork, but at least you're not alone in it. :-)

My cell phone? Too antique to text or fold or have a camera or lighted buttons or non-pull-out antenna! It's just shy of having a CORD. So curious what a new one would be like, but man too big a tightwad to spring.

HRH Roy! Love'im. No emotions? Har. I took an 83-pound Giant Schnauzer to the vet today for a sinus problem. She trembled until she fell, then tried to be a lap dog. And I let her.

So glad to see KDread go!

Dang... my comment was supposed to have a link:
http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2006/11/dangerous-cat.html