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November 8, 2006

Hello from OH MY GOD IT IS SO HOT.

Ya'll it was ONE HUNDRED AND ONE degrees yesterday in Woodland Hills, and also, driving in to work in your long-sleeved office wear is really REALLY fun if you're inside a Jeep with plastic bucket seats and no air conditioning. If by fun you mean "why did I bother showering at all."


Guess what I am making? I am making a very large and complicated and fancy online demo for one of the cool products my company offers. I feel very Art Director. And I love this product, it's a most excellent online financial blah blah blah. So that is exciting! Except, with the part that my brain is leaking out the sides of my head and everything because it's due... on November 20. I might cry.

Top Ten Reasons I Will Not Cry:

1) Bringing CoffeeBack
I finally bought a coffeemaker. Which is, I realize, somewhat of a DUH moment for most people, seeing as I love and need and really MUST HAVE my coffee, but Mr. X got the coffeemaker in the abandonment, so I had been sans Mr. Coffee all this time. Finally, my mom (who is nothing if not brilliant) suggested I should probably go and buy one at Target. And I did, and it has a TIMER and each morning I wake up and go look at my coffeemaker to see if the water starts to drip right at 5 a.m. and ... yeah. It does. I might be a weirdo.

2) The Winter Of My Summer
Ok, so I am not really thrilled with the scorching summer temperatures BUT it has extended flip-flop season, and I love my flip-flops, and hey. Look. We need things to be happy about, ok?

3) K-FedEx
Really, is there anything left to say except: Dunzo! Which, by the way was my text message to Jennifer yesterday. I was in the middle of a project meeting when my boss emailed me the breaking news off CNN that Britney and K-Fed had split. Have I mentioned I love my boss? And so I sent a text message to Jen. Because we are twelve.

4) Speaking of being twelve years old
Apparently, I have infected Drew with the texting bug. I myself never sent or received text messages until I got my pink phone, and then I went on a date with a cute guy who liked to send me text messages. Which I thought was So! Fun! And suddenly I had to learn how to get my rather fat, uncooperative fingers to text with enough speed that the other person didn't fall asleep during the exchange (not sure I've accomplished that, actually.) But anyway, now I occassionally send random text messages to people, meaning Jen and now Drew.

Me, txt, to Drew: City of Encino keeps me rockin knows how 2 party

Drew (calls me): I really want to text you back but I don't know how!
Me: Oh, you have to find a teenager to show you, that's what I did!

[days pass]
[I am in a meeting]

Phone vibrates.
Drew, txt, to me: Hey look Im sending text message!
Me: Cool!
Drew: Now Im yarn shopping!
Me: ooooh
Drew:8 skeins artyarns merino! Clapotis?
Me: Clapotis? Penicillin!

And so on.

5) DSW Shoe Warehouse
Need I say more? Except, this is me, so I will say more. Rather than write and research fauxrriscopes for this month, I solved my anxiety over this task by driving to DSW Shoes and spending money on open-toee slingbacks that are SO CUTE. Because when I have anxiety, I shoe shop. This is my way, people. This is MY WAY.

6) I feel like a glazed ham, but pretty!
I bought this lotion called "Olay Touch Of Sun" and it's a daily face moisturizer that has a teetiny bit of self-tanner in it and it gives you, meaning me, the slightest little glow. It actually works! After a few days of daily use, it kind of takes the edge of my blinding glow-in-the-dark-ness.

7) Ham.
Since we're on the subject.

8) Cats Who Love To Redecorate
I know many people say that animals don't have emotions and so on, and I invite these people to come to my house. I have not been home much lately, thanks to long hours and commuting and bringing home the bacon, et al. Sometimes I come home in the wee hours of darkness and leave the next morning in the wee hours of darkness. Like, perhaps, every single day. The cats have taken to new and unusual ways of getting my attention. For example, knocking over every lamp. Also, somehow managing to get inside the linen closet and push out all the clean, folded sheets and towels so to better nestle in the back on something soft. Nice. I thoroughly enjoyed coming home last night and finding the water glass knocked over and all the placemats removed from the table and spread on the floor, where one Sobakowa was perching amiably.

They may kill me in my sleep.

That's all, I can't really come up with ten full reasons to keep sane! If my head pops off, though, you'll know first... I'll send you a text message before I go.


Posted by laurie at November 8, 2006 9:57 AM