good story

So I'm reading your blog for the first time today (heard of you via one of the many podcasts I listen to) and I love it. Nice dress. And caterpillars. I mean eyebrows.

I grew up in Valdosta, Georgia, and you couldn't be more right about the haunted house thing! We lived in one! A guy was murdered in it (of course my parents didn't know this til after they bought it)!

Anyway just saying hi. I'll be tuning in from now on.

Most entertaining! Thank you! and... please, date responsibly. (let someone else pick him - just kidding)

OMG - that's amazing!! I don't blame you for any and all eccentric behaviours that have arisen as a result of this event. Do you have any costume-related issues? I think that the dress was gorgeous & you looked great in it - eyebrows notwithstanding. You could always attribute that to a Brooke Shields-esque influence.

holy high hell! i had that prom dress!!!! only mine had pearl clusters.

Most entertaining! Thank you! and... please, date responsibly. (let someone else pick him - just kidding)

oooooh... I had those same eyebrow accessories - I wore them with everything...

Doom makes for great stories - and as a Southern-born (Louisanna- with my peeps hailing from Mobile and Kentucky- and Kentucky is almost yankee turf don't ya know)gal I accept doom and haunted homes as my lot.

Superstitions rules my life - I say keep your beloved out of the cell phone

haha! oh my gosh, that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time! That's amazing..

I didn't learn about eyebrow plucking until my late 30s -- you are waaay ahead of me.

So, what ever happened to Dandy Don? Did he do time, get off scot free? I've got to know.

This day has dragged on and on and on. I was so bored until I read this fantastic, crazy-ass story. You kicked my day up about 15 notches!

Oh my god, my coffee totally came out of my nose I was laughing so hard!! You tell a great story, Laurie!

My worst date was at University (College)with a Science student (I was studying history). He took me to see Single White Female and spent the whole time tell me jokes about how science students were smart and arts students were dumb.

Laurie! What a great story! Thanks so much! We had KA at Mizzou too, cannon on the lawn and all. All I remember about them was their "southern" reputation, which meant, even though Missouri was technically a slave state (google "missouri compromise" if you aren't up on that tiny tidbit of American history) that everyone thought they were out beating up the AKA members. I doubt it, but the confederate flag out front didn't help their reputation. My sorority didn't do much with them, I think they did most of their stuff with KKG, who, judging by their accents, were southern as well. Anyhoo, now I have a much more entertaining impression of the KA fraternity.

You crack me up. I think I still have a scar from when I first plucked my eyebrows. Thanks for the great story and don't ya know, this kind of college stuff is perfect for us to look back on and laugh. The stuff I can remember anyway.
Dudes in your phone!!! Nah, put a wine store in there that delivers instead.

Well now. That just trumps my story about 3 former beaus who have, in the years following said relationships, turned out to be gay.

And I'm only 24.

But I did live in a haunted house once.

I, for one, think the dress is fabulous in all its genteel glory.

It's fun sitting in a hoop skirt, eh?

HOLY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
The two of you did look awfully cute in the photo though.
That story was almost as good as the one my friend Kathy tells about the fella that "deflowered" her ending up being a murderer!!!
You could have been the new Bonnie and Clyde if you had been smitten.

Today has been rather grim, so thank you for this story. Cheered me right up.

Your gentleman caller didn't, by chance, leave any bags laying about with what appear to be bank logos printed on them, did he? By this time, the statute of limitations must have expired, and we could split the profits, 60-40! You can buy yarn, and I can buy the expensive kind of cat food (My cat has little use for more yarn).

Lawd.

I. am. speechless.
Maybe he felt you needed a proper hoopskirt.

Oh my goodness!

hehehe. Man, didn't see that one coming ... lol

Holy S---. I would be too hun. I would be too...

I laughed so hard I had tears! I'm with the above commenter, what happened to Dandy Don? And speaking of haunted houses, my 3rd Great Grandfather's sister, Elizabeth, married into the Bell family of Adams, Tennessee! You know, the Bell Witch Family! How much more haunted can you get?

Ha ha ha!!!! Laurie, you are a riot. And frankly, I'm not entirely sure I would have believed the story were there not photos.

Yeesh.

Oh...mah...gaw. I went to Clemson, and I sadly never secured an invitation to Old South, even though every other Chi O seemed to. And I can't believe the two faces of Dandy Don. Such a shame.

I always knew we were separated at birth!
I've
(1) suffered the Disappearing Man Syndrome
(2) lived in a haunted house
(3) endured my fair share of Old South parties (the mint juleps were kicking, though)
:o)

Great story. And I think you may be on to something. Perhaps the cell phone directory is the non-knitter's version of the boyfriend-sweater-curse. I'm filing this helpful information in my brain for future dating reference. Thanks! :-)

hahahahaha! And, being Texas-bred, I have to say that it happened to me as well! I was a sweet naive sort of gal. And, I was dating the most adorable guy! I was working in a law office. And, I happened to open the Law Bulletin one day to see his beautiful face plastered on the front page as the son of some notorious fraud and that he was suspected/indicted/whatever as well. Somehow, that little relationship ended rather suddenly. hahahahahaaaaaaaa

Being a former sorority girl myself, the story of the fraternity formal was highly enjoyable. Looking back on it, I often find myself thinking "why was a dressed as a _________, while in _________, drinking _________?"

I forgot to mention...at my last Old South, some ejit thought if a little gunpowder made a big boom, then a lot of gunpowder would make a bigger boom.
The authentic Civil War cannon was blown to smithereens.

That's a great story, beautifully told. The dress really seals the deal, too.

Oh my ever-livin'-DAWG. "The FBI said he was a real gentleman when they arrested him." For goodness sake - don't put *any* numbers in that phone! Lord only knows what-all havoc could be wreaked...

Oh my God! Your gown looks just like my prom dress! (1988) Except mine was lilac.
Complete with all the ruffles!

First thought in my head when I saw the picture....KA Old South Week. LOL!
Robbed a bank....now that's hilarious!

I didn't figure out eyebrow plucking until I was 30. And only after my _little_ sister trapped me in the hallway and plucked my eyebrows until I screamed.

I mean, I didn't really realize that "real" people plucked their eyebrows.

And ya'll think it's weird in California. *L*

Auntie, I think it may be time to let the knitting group pick men for you. You know how picky knitters can be.

Laurie Honey,

You look drop dead gorgeous!Eyebrows and all. Having gone to a traditional southern university myself, I can relate to the oddities of some very Southern traditions. We used to go to various Va. Battlefields to party!!!!!

Honey, I know all about superstitions. My new one? I will not take a guy I am interested in to Disney. See, the 'rents work for the mouse and we get in free. And EVERY TIME I have taken a date type prospect or even a date type person to said mouseville with me, we have broken up. Not just broken up, broken up hard core. We're talking a broken engagement and a divorce (two different guys) in there. So yeah, no Mouseville with any guy for me. No way. Shame for them, I guess.

Girl, you made me smile, and Lord knows I needed it.

Omybloodyhell. Woman!

Whew.

Hands down.

You win the crazy-man o'mine-straightjacketville award. And I'm saying this after the experiences of three practically-certified nutjob husbands I've left behind.

Wow - you and I have more in common than is safe for me to admit publicly! No wonder I'm really supersititious! And I have ghost stories too. Does being born but not raised in the South count? Is Florida the South?

Oh Laurie, you looked so pretty, you are so pretty, wow, I wish I could look half as good as you!
This is my first message to you, I love reading your blog, you are very inspiring, interesting and very very funny! You should be proud of yourself!!

I wish I grew up in the South. I'd love to dress up in a hoopskirt!

Dear lord. That is one hilariously creepy story. And you don't look all that bad in the hoopskirt. Really.

Ohmygoddygodgod!

After that I dont blame you for being superstitious. It's nice to know that there are other single gals out there who have a wretched time finding a man or when they DO find one, he turns out to be rather crazy.

I love reading your blog. You crack me up, no doubt about it.

How does one make hunch punch?

Wow, and I thought that "I" attracted the wackos and was cursed with my male findings. My sister did have a house with a ghost and I even spent the night there when the ghost was roused one night. I never went to the prom or any shindig so I did not ever have access to a peach hoopskirted ensemble. And as someone who was born with only 3 eyebrows, I have serious eyebrow envy.

Seriously Laurie, I love your blog as your stories always bring a smile to my face.

Well, Lord love a duck. Incredible story. I might chuckle for days on that one. Thanks! Oh and ghosts are not just southern.

Wow. That's one heck of a story. Girl, you need to start writing your memoirs and publish them!

holy freaking hell. you have got the BEST LUCK. EVER. i mean it. really.

Wow, that was a great story, and one that I hope you are saving for when Dandy Don decides to run for President.

But what I REALLY want to know is how you figure Columbus, MS is "on the way" between Chattanooga and Murfreesboro!

CAP, I tip my hat to you. That is freaking hilarious, and I do agree - it totally justifies any dating-related superstitions. Better to keep the good eggs out of your pink phone: if they wanna be part of your life, they'll just keep calling.

Can I confess that I think the dress is cute, albeit in a late-80's, overly ruffled kind of way? And I don't think your eyebrows are hideous. Think Brooke Shields.

I have dated some "winners" in my time, but this one takes the cake!

Seriously, why are you not writing a book??

Trust Drew to get right to the important stuff.

Sooo funny. And I thought you had made up the name Dandy Don! I miss living in the south.

Hun, I love you to bits! And you really do "love crazy".

Laughing til I cry is just what I needed today. That and a couple of martinis. But, you know...

Ahem. Murfreesboro is in the Mid South, not the Deep South. Mid-South, Mid-State, it's just a middlin' sort of place, harty har har. I grew up just up the road in Smyrna, btw, and I'm trying to remember who it was I knew that was named Gandy, because the name is VERY familiar. Very.

But Deep South, Mid South, whatever-the KA's do definitely bring a Deep South vibe along no matter where they are.

I went to college in SC, and Ole South was considered to be the big catch of a date weekend for girls there, too. I think it was the total theme-ness of it as much as anything overtly Southern, though, you know? We Southern girls do like us some themes.

Hunch Punch....is that what they call it down there?

...and a bank robber to boot. I don't think I will complain about being dateless again....evah.

Oh, gosh . . . I just had to chuckle.

That's being superstitious? Nah. Sounds perfectly rational to me.

That. Was. The. Best. Story. EVER.

That's crazy!!! Good story to tell.

Laurie, please, you have got to ring up Trixie's constable candidate and find out if he's the same guy. Just to round out the story, you know.

I don't think you look all that bad in the pink dress; a little washed out perhaps but certainly not jaundiced. At least the fit looks good, unlike your beau there who looks a bit like a little boy wearing daddy's suit. And why does the photo say "loveless"?

Also. Maybe if you plucked your eyebrows just a *little* less, they would make your forehead look smaller. Just sayin', that's all. ;)

That is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. Having also gone to school in the south, I can totally relate to the KAs, if not to the bank robber.

Girl! You are toooo funny and dead on. I, being from New Orleans and all, know you speak the truth and do not NEED to embellish or otherwise enhance the adventures that occur merely because one has the good fortune to be born a Child Of The South. And yes, I did grow up in a house that was haunted - it was our poltergeist and my mother even named him Clyde. Turns out our house was built on the grounds of an old plantation and we were located in the vicinity of the graveyard where they buried the slaves. Needless to say, Clyde was not a happy ghost. BTW, just stumbled across your blog recently and have added it to my daily "must read" list. Please stop by my humble and technologically pathetic blog sometime. Hugs to the kitties, especially Roy who looks just like one of the beloved cats from my childhood, Kimi-Ling.

Now, why didn't Mom have any stories like *that* from her Southern side of the family? Scions of two Southern families who fought on different sides marrying each other, and the encounter with Indians who wanted to buy a baby 'cause they thought he was too dark to belong to the white people just don't quite compare. [g] I'd be superstitious after all that too, Laurie. Keep those men out of the phone!

Hmm...my Southern Grandmother never told me any stories about hauntings...of course, I didn't know enough to ask her either. My Northern CA friend though, with Southern relatives (does Denver count as Southern?), has had some haunting experiences down there though...

And your eyebrows are not bad at all in that picture. You should have seen mine before I started tweezing!! (Speaking of which...where DID I put those things...)

And yes, I can totally understand your cell phone superstition...as an Italian Catholic, I have to say that superstitiousness (is that a word?) is in no way limited to the deep south.

Oh my goodness,that story took a turn. LOL!

OMG!!!! Thank you SO much for the MUCH needed laugh!!

Hunch punch!! Haven't thought of that in ages. And it's not just a Southern thing. I went to college in New England--we had it there, too.

Okay. I gotta share my own Southern weirdness with a dude. The first guy I every kissed grew up to hire a hit man to kill his wife. The hitman was the husband of my Girl Scout troop leader. I kid you not. I'm a pretty superstitious southern girl and I suspect, had this kiss happened when I was older I'd have given up on men entirely.

HILARIOUS!!! and now I know... don't put phone numbers of men in my cell phone! I knew there had to be some explanation for my man troubles!!!

So, in light of current events, I can guess that you have Wesley Snipes's phone number programmed in?

Wonder where he'll take you on your first date? Uncharted Pacific Island, for, oh, I don't know, forever?

Wes would look pretty good in a cowboy hat, too.

I wonder if it works the other way, too....if you want to get rid of an annoying guy, just program his number in, and POOF! he's gone...

Wishful thinking, I suppose.

During the Old South...ummm....exactly what did the students of color do?

This is exactly why I didn't go to W & L....

Aw, crap. I just put this (seemingly) great new guy's phone # in my cell. Well, if it turns out that he's a child molester/cheater/stalker/escaped convict/ghost I'll know why.

ROTFL! You're unbelievable!

This story is so entertaining! I am really surprised he didn't break his neck jumping from a 3rd floor balcony!

Snakes on a plane, girl, where do you FIND these guys!?

I once found a guy who was so bad that I got two saparate offers from different branches of the Mafia to have him killed!

I'll trade phones with you! My phone has wiped out at least three phone numbers in the last week.

For all of you women who want a photo of yourselves looking just like Purl, find a guy who's in the North-South Skirmish Assn. If you're on the East coast, that is. And for you California people, there's a Civil War recreation group out there, if you look around.

Speaking of snakes on a plane, it was a running joke in this week's episode of Gilmore Girls.

I still have money in my hometown Merchants and Planters bank.

Don't ya just love small rural southern banks?

*LOL*

Lawd, honey, the 'chick is right there with you about being superstitious. Every time a new man was in the picture and got mentioned in the blog, he disappeared, or was moving to another state, or was just psycho. Finally had to threaten the readership to stop the voodoo or else there wouldn't be anymore date stories. It seems to have worked.

Whatever you do - don't program any man numbers into your phone - it's waaaay too risky!

I too attended Old South. And it was AWFUL. And the worst part is that there are pictures somewhere, but not in my possession.

"It is because doom is always trying to impend."
I am so keeping that line.
Who sent the article and picture to your parents? And what did they say?
I have scandinavian superstitions, which is why I threw salt in this guy's eyes one day while we were camping. I'd spilled some, and some things can't be ignored.

That is one wonderful story. Just so funny and you do have such an incredible way with words. I really hope you write books. Fiction, fact, whatever because you are truely gifted.
I was never with any "in" crowd and never partied in college so I had never heard of Hunch Punch.
Keep your blog coming. I love it!!!

OMG too funny! Gotta hand it to those Southern boys for politeness, at least. Is hunch punch the same as swampwater punch? You used to be able to buy grain alcohol in (I think) Connecticut and it was mixed with some really high-toned mixer like Hawaiian Punch. And it packed one. Wooh!
When are you going to write your book???

Ha ha! Great story. And, I, too, am just dying to know how Columbus, MS is "on the way" from Chattanooga to Murfreesboro. My house is on the normal route, and it's nowhere near MS!

Gurl, you are just delicious! Too cute in that dress and envious of that Jessie James, what a wonderful tale to tell your grandchildren. All my men have been boring....hook me up! ;-)

Transplanted Mississippian (to Los Angeles) here too....left when my XHusband kept breaking into my apartment to clean my house and leave me love notes...ick!.... well...the jewelry wasn't too bad.

Love your style!!

hahahahahahahahahaha
you southern folk are just delightful.

Laurie-Great story and you are so right about the haunted house thing. My grandmother and her family lived in a haunted house for a little while when she was young. Being southern, it's a good thing!

OMG. I so didn't expect that punch (as it were) line. I'm gonna be giggling for at least the next hour. I don't have any dating stories half that good -- except maybe for the guy who thought our child would be the second coming of Christ. No, I am not making this up, but no, I do not have photographic evidence to prove it.

(Joe, if you're out there? It's gonna take more than one miracle at this point. We're talking Abraham and Sarah here, if you catch my drift.)

P.S. Btw, I have relatives who swore their house was haunted. In Maine, yet.

GREAT story...love the twisty ending! I'd be a-skeered, too, about too-much-too-soon!

Hunch Punch...never heard that one! Here in MI it's called Trash Can (yum!) or Wapatuli (seemingly only in my hometown).

Seriously: Book. Soon.

OH MY GOSH!!!! Your DATE did that? HA! I was at MTSU in 1993 too - graduated 96. And you knew the guy who did that. I remember when that happened!

Oh Lord have mercy. You are the funniest person ever in the history of the world. You're right - you need to leave them out of your cell phone!

Unbelieveable! - well if you didn't have the pictures to prove it....
My family is superstitious about opals... like the stone. We aren't allowed to wear them if it's not our birthstone (October?) otherwise it's just super bad. I even gave away a beautiful pair of opal earrings because I knew I could never wear them without testing the superstition.
Oh, and I knew a guy who robbed a Costco - never had my picture taken with him though.

That is the funniest ever. I had the same eyebrows back in the day. I cannot believe you didn't submit this picture for my look back and cringe contest last month. I'm in sugar shock just from looking at that dress!

Heck, when I lived in Charlottesville, I had an apartment in an old gothic mansion across from the University of Virginia. The place had been documented by both the UVA parapsychology folks and the Virginia Folklore Society. Apparently a woman had fallen asleep while smoking in bed. We called her the Crispy Critter. Things Happened in that house. I personally witnessed my Advent stereo speakers and a china lamp literally fly across the room (and no I am NOT exaggerating!) on three separate occasions. But she never broke anything - just threw them around.

Just sayin' is all.

But I never dated a Bank Robber! How cool is that!

And I thought I had it bad because every single guy I ever dated up until I met my ex-husband had to have his appendix removed after we started dating!

My brother has had several encounters with ghosts and poltergiests (and we're Yankees from Minnesota/Illinois) but I think he brings it on himself by because his wife is an evil witch. Bad Karma, don't you know.

I think you look absolutely adorable in that dress, eyebrows or no. I wore one of my high school formal dresses that my mother made (circa 1985) to a college Halloween party as a saloon girl and won first prize.

I know people who have to keep phone numbers in their cellphone of people they DON'T want to talk to so if the phone rings, they know not to answer. My phone plays the theme from "The Exorcist" when these people call, and my outgoing message no longer has me saying my name on it. My home answering machine just has the electronic voice on it.

So what DID happen to Dandy Don? And why did he rob the bank in the first place?

Dadgum! You were ahead of your time. I just read in one of those "ladies" magazines that fuller eyebrows ala Brooke Sheilds are back in style.

I was doing a campus visit to Mercer University when some of the girls in the dorm were getting ready for Ol' South. They were so excited! It was just like Cinderella going to the ball with the handsome prince. Oh, how we Southern girls like to dress up our men and show 'em off. I think you look cute as a speckled pup.

Good Night.. as my grandma would say.. I thought I was the only one those crazy things happened to. :)

Thanks for the wonderful story Laurie. Yes must keep your beau out of the cell phone!

I grew up no where near the south in Missoula, MT, with a bunch of superstitious people. In a haunted house till it decided to burn it's self down. No lie!! My family has no southern ancestry, unless you count South Dakota. So it might of spread west.. :)

Holy. Crap.

That is the best story I've read all week! Thanks for the laugh....we're laughing about it now, right? Even though it wasn't funny then???

Being from the South, I always enjoy your descriptions. That tops the cake. What a *fantastic story.*

Is your dad related to my dad? Because my dad is Foghorn Leghorn. All my friends in college said so. And yes, we did live in a haunted house in Charleston, S.C. :)

sweet goodness - I can't believe all the stuff I missed out on growing up in boring old Minnesota. Not a hoop skirt to be found - all we had was leg warmers (which you need).

Wow! That's a lot better than my story about the South (http://www.jennyryan.com/2006/10/16/its-things-like-this-that-give-the-south-a-bad-name/).

Although, mine does involve squirrel :D

Good gracious! That is so funny... btw haunted place stories were all over where I grew up in the Bay Area. And I take them seriously.

Well, day-um. Color me a jealous Yankee. We just had cow-tipping where I went to college in Pennsylvania. And sled riding down the main street of town in winter.

Question - I think you and I are of an age, so was Dandy Don's number ever in a cell phone of yours? Because I had a cell in college that was only used in case of emergency because the damn minutes were so expensive back then. No phone numbers were ever stored on the stupid thing. And if that's the case with you...well, if that's the case with you, than we also have a similar problem of weird men being attracted to us.

Lauri-I so remember the MTSU-KA bank robbery. A friend of mine (Missy Thompson- she married and divorced KA-Tony Todd)who was a Kappa Delta, probably around the time you were there, ran into Dandy Don a few years ago and asked him "What in hell were you thinking?" I have sent this post to my sisters (Brenda & Bethani Bollig) who also went to MTSU during this time so that we can all remember our college days with fondness! Thanks for the memories.

Whatever happend to him? Is he still in prison? That is a great story. I love reading about your adventures. How's Roy doing?

Oh. My. GOSH. That's hilarious, Laurie. He robbed a bank??? You have now earned the honor of being the first person I have ever "met" who knew someone who robbed a bank. Man.

And, ps, you're freakin' adorable in your dress.

Girl, you've gone from STDs to porn on your blog ads...the blog ad god must be a date you've put in your cell phone!

There is NO WAY that is you in that picture. No way.

So now that we know your dating history (bank robber! classic.), perhaps we understand better why you chose Mr. X to begin with. At the first whiff of mildly normal, can't blame you for latching on.

A bank robber..... I can't even maintain a train of thought............

I keep reading the paper to see if my ex-husband shows up in a photo for 'Wanted for Fraud'.

Superstitions run high in the Heart of Dixie Alabama. You are absolutely right about the south and at least one person you know has been the hauntee. What a great story!

That is a fan-freakin-tastic story! You totally made my day.

And I love the fact, that in true testement to your inner packrat, you still have the paper from 1993 that features Dandy Don's arrest.

Dude. Wow. Hi-larious! Also, "Dandy Don Gandy" is one of the greatest names ever. I've got a "Bill the Thrill Kaufmann", which I'd like to think comes close. But it kinda doesn't touch Dandy Don Gandy.

Wow... and I thought my bad track record of dating Vegetarian men who own Vegetarian German Shepards was bad news (no joke... seriously... no joke. There's been a few of them. Now all men I date have to be meat eaters who do not own a German Shepard. Those are the new standards.)

Now that I live in the South I totally get the Southern craziness- I have to say though- ya'll are a fun bunch...

Well...what a story...lol As for putting the numbers in the cell phone...why not just write them on a bathroom wall...public of course.....lol???? Of course then you'd have to keep track of which bathroom wall they were written on....and weather they were a "good time" or not. Just joking here....but boy can I relate. Great blog enjoyed the story!!

Deborah

ROTFLMBO!!

Too, too,too funny!!!!!!!!

Hehe, great stories. And you’re right, were it not for the documentation I would have thought you were making it up.

So I was all reminiscing about KA and college and me also having the scary eyebrows - a co-worker once saw my college graduation photo and asked whose eyebrows I was wearing - and then you hit me with a jawdropper of a photo. Bank robber? Really? Girl, you and I must get together someday and swap "I dated a guy once that..." stories. Because seriously, I didn't think anyone could outdo me. Oh and when I was a child, our suburban brick ranch house was haunted.

Superstitious? Good sense is what I call it!

The first thing I thought when I saw the photo of you and him, was that the dress was pulling you into the floor and you are clinging to him to hold yourself up!

You do look pretty in the photo, though.

LAURIE! I CANNOT BELIEVE you waited all this time to tell us this. You look like a piece of birthday cake. You just totally made my day.

I am not a southerner, but I like their accents, live in a haunted house, used to drink something in college that I can't remember the name of that involved fruit and rum in a clean garbage pail and our high school valedictorian went to college, came back and managed a McDonald's, got fired and then went back and held it up WITH A CROSSBOW! (Like they wouldn't recognize him???) I'm also superstitious, but I figured the above sentence had gone on long enough. Can I be an honorary southerner and have some punch, please?

Loved the story, thanks!

Perfect story! You crack me up like no other!!

I, too, have superstitions about entering the phone number into the cell phone (and I did not grow up in the South!). It is a well known fact that if you enter the number too soon in the relationship, they will stop calling. Back in college (before cell phones) we had a Phone List we kept by the phone and boys phone numbers were not entered onto the list until we were "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend. You just had to carry around that ragged piece of bar napkin with his phone number for months! And yes, we had a ghost in our house growing up so I identify with that, too!

Your story is hilarious! Shocking and fabulous. You took me straight back to UNC, 1991. I went to Old South that spring, then graduated and repressed my entire college experience, including that, until I read your post.

Old South. Wow. I looved the dress. I loved my date, and was too intent on how cute he was to notice how not bright he was, or how WRONG it was that we were on a plantation in NC, in hoop dresses and confederate uniforms. I'm going to have to dig up those pictures!

man, i love living in the south!!!

OMG I'm still laughing!!! First off, that dress is SO 80s!! There were SO many wedding dresses like it except in white. And I was so NOT expecting that ending!! Could totally relate since the guy who (almost, stood me up, story for another day) took me to prom ended up arrested for fraud. Apparently he stole his girlfriendS (plural) credit cards and used them. Another boyfriend was put in jail for robbing Pizza Huts. It must have been all that 80s gel for the big hair. Or the hunch punch.....

ps....i had the eye brows too :) I think Brook Shields started that in the '80's.

I had a best freind once who's mom (yes! her MOM!!) robbed a bank in Jackson Mississippi, back in the '70's. we southern'ers are truly a fun bunch :)

Thank you Laurie! I was in college with you then and there at MTSU, and the whole time I read that, I kept wracking my brain, trying to remember who Don Gandy was. And *then* you pulled out the big guns.
Wasn't he in the Student Government association also? And didn't another former SGA member ALSO rob a bank a few months later? I wish I could remember all the details...
Thanks! That was a lot of fun to read.

Laurie,

A few of things:

1. Don Gandy wasn't president of the SGA he was appointed election commissioner by the president and served during one of the ugliest and most bitter SGA elections ever at MTSU.

2. The Don Gandy running for constable is Don Gandy, Sr. not Jr. The dad was an investigator for TBI at the time. Now he runs a private investigation company in Murfreesboro.

3. Murfreesboro is not in the deep South, but we are as Southern as you're ever going to want to see.

4. The Don Gandy bank robbery story prompted a dean from the university to retire. The school paper (on which I was a staffer) had a front-page story about the arrest. The dean, who was in charge of freshman orientation (a program in which Gandy was a volunteer), removed the papers from displays so the new students wouldn't see them. Unfortunately, she was seen by one of our photographers. Editorials followed. Press conferences followed. Then she took early retirement.

6. When Gandy got caught after robbing Union Planters Bank in Eagleville, he was wearing an afro wig and mask. The dye pack exploded in his car. My cousin Hazel was working at the bank that day. She doesn't recall him being much of a gentleman. Gandy was suspected in a string of bank robberies.

7. The next semester, the student paper was taken over by a cadre of conservative Republicans who knew Don. On the day we got word that he'd been convicted, I heard the editor talk about what a great guy Don was and he hoped he didn't get jail time because that would only make him a criminal. That's the only time I've ever hear that argument coming from a conservative Republican.

5. It wasn't your great big eyebrows that attracted the Southern gentlemen. As I recall it was your great big . . . uh . . . okay, we'll go with eyebrows.

Holy crap! Woman you crack me up! LOL

OMG! Great story. That dress! I don't have words for it.

awww, he was cute. looks like he was a lot of fun. until the crime spree, that is. next time you're in chattanooga you'll have to stop by and say hi. and waxing is less painful than tweezing. just in case you're still tweezing- it's like one HUGE tweeze instead of uh, several, small ones.

I'm a little unclear on what the Shriners have to do with you tweezing you eyebrows but I'm sure it's one heck of a story.

Love and Laughter,
Amy

Precious! When are you writing a book? I'll be first in line to buy it, because you absolutely have a gift for story telling! Sitting here in soggy Seattle, you brought total sunshine to my day today!

THAT is a hilarious story - someday i'll tell you about my date with "naked man". Dating is so scary ain't it?

I think this is the best blog entry ever. And, you look adorable in that dress!

This story, or rather my reaction to it, has confirmed to The Boy AND his mom that I am officially off my rocker. : ) I love it!!

Oh and those of us with family from Jersey also have our share of superstitions.... I won't put a Boy's number in the #1 spot in my cell phone. Not after that one Boy....

;)

Sweetie, you crack me up. What a great story. And I think you look swell in your peachy dress.

WOW, well that sure beats any of the stories about some of my former dates. Can you imagine what might have become of you if you had carried on a relationship with him? Yikes, you could have been a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. I wonder where Mr. Gandy is now.

Girl, you made my day, and I needed a laugh pretty bad -- I got rear-ended on the I-10 between New Orleans and Baton Rouge in the rain today, but the car is drivable and I can type, so all is well for now.

I went to Louisiana State University, lived in a haunted house (stomping feet and self-slamming doors and all), worked as a bartender, and when I was in my 20s I had a scary event involving an armed Italian gentleman, who was after my vanished roommate, who turned out to be on the run from a dark past, and who also owed me rent and utilities when she split.

But I never was in a sorority because I was a hippie back in the '70s ... and the puke punch of choice was called Jungle Juice, a mixture of Hawaiian Punch and Everclear. But I did briefly date a boy in PKA. We used to drive up to somewhere in the woods outside of Columbus, Mississippi to buy moonshine. BUT!!! Somewhere at my Mom's house there is still a spring-green hooped skirt from when I was a tour guide in the French Quarter as a teenager -- I'm a brunette with olive complexion and bigger eyebrows than you and Brooke Shields put together.

But YOUR story beats the band!

People from Minnesota think we make this crap up but you CAN'T!

AWESOME story! I didn't see that coming.

I'm sorry, but who would ever notice your eyebrows when your date was dressed like that? He looks freaking ridiculous.

Still laughing.

Oh my god, Laurie, your story takes me back to 1977, when I went to a KA Old South dance in a freakin hoop skirt! This was in my sophomore year and I had totally forgotten this part of my Tulsa University experience. It's only the "shallow" south down in Oklahoma, but it was EXACTLY as you described. I don't remember my date's name, so I can't say for sure whether he's subsequently been arrested for any felonies! Thanks for the memories, your description is PERFECT!

The best stories you can't make up. I have a dandy of a breakup story that involved chicken alfredo ending a relationship. It's so weird that is HAS to be true.

It must be something about Southern women attracting these men! I had to stay away from men in Blue Chevy Trucks, they are nothing but bad luck to me. I married a man who drove a white Ford Mustang convertible. Anyway, I was stood up on my birthday by one of these men one year because he had the need to rob a mini mart. I was crushed at the time but, now that I think back on it, I laugh. It is pretty funny but, then I ask myself that famous question.....
What was I thinking?
Laura

Seriously, are there any normal ones out there? All guys are weird (I like to pretend we're not). I think the key is to find out their eccentricities and figure out which ones we can live with and which ones we just won't tolerate. Likes to dress up as Luke Skywalker on weekends? I can overlook it (just barely). Likes to rob banks? Nope, can't overlook that one.

Lourdes...what about if he dressed up as Luke Skywalker on weekends while robbing banks? (That would be the guy programmed into Laurie's phone, I think...)

And yes, they all seem to have some kind of weird going on...some are just a lot more pronounced than others.

OMG I sooo laughed so hard and YES, I have a relative who lived in a haunted house and also a friend whose uncle's great aunt sally (you know the story line LOL). I also drank "alabama slammers" and Mad Dog 20/20 until ya'll woulda thought I'd be in a coma by now but never, and I truly mean NEVER have I ever come across a story or name as AWSOME as Dandy Don Gandy ROFLMAO
*snip,copy,paste* Thanks for the laughs !

Like a bad episode of CBS dramedy "Quaint Southern Folk" or suchlike. Geez Louise, this story is so SCAREEEE it could only be true.

Before one of my many sorority costume dances - not in the deep or not so deep South, but rather in California - I was sitting in the common room stringing together coat hangers. One of the sisters asked what the he11 I was doing. Making a hoop skirt, I replied. Much rolling of the eyes and who-in-their-right-mind-would-make-their-own-costume attitude ensued - oh yes, I was that lone poor girl in a moneyed house.

However, when I went to the dance in my pink, ruffly, full hoop-skirted costume, I was literally the belle of the ball, and dang if that hoop skirt didn't get borrowed by assorted rich sisters for every single costume dance after that. Heck, that getup is probably still floating around my sorority house some 20 years later.

What I'm saying is that every girl has her inner belle, and we all love a good hoop skirt to hide those hips.

Love the dress!

Oh Lordy!
First of all, Susannah, you MADE MY NIGHT- in all my years of growing up in my Southern-exiled family have I ever heard/read "ejit" spelled exactly like my own personal Daddy says it all the time (along with threatening to "snatch you bald-headed"--but maybe that's just him...).
But Laurie, I am SO with you...I never even bothered to memorize my beaus phone numbers....just wrote 'em in lipstick on the side of my bedroom mirror. My highschool sweetheart used to check in on his way down the hall just to make sure that he was in good graces and no one else was in the running.
But give them the satisfaction of being IN my cell phone? Hell NO!
I theroy was that If a man hadn't gotten up off his sorry butt to call me in such recent history as to assure I could recall his digits up from my "recent calls" list, why the hell should _I_ be bothered??
'Cuz the minute I got a cooing ans soft on a guy enough to put his name in my cell directory--POOF- instant a**hole! (Of course, my story always was that I was too busy to figure out how to program it into my latest phone...).
Southern superstitions- ain't NEVER done me wrong. And the ghost of my dear Great-Grannie in the old family house agrees with me!

along with threatening to "snatch you bald-headed"--but maybe that's just him...

Nope, I heard that one from my Mom all the time when I was growing up. That and "If you don't quit that right now, I'm going to rip your arms and legs off and beat you with the bloody stumps."

What an amazing story. You should have saved that one for Halloween. Or Valentine's Day!

Laurie, I was retelling your story to my mother today, as I dated a string of very unsuitable young men in my late teens, and she and my father had at the time asked me if I could refrain from dating men who appeared on the front page of the local paper as it was embarrassing the family. And she proceeded to list them by crime. And blow me, but I'd totally forgotten the art forger. How could I have forgotten about dating the art forger? Probably because I was recalling the chap who was up on a murder charge (such a "nice" boy, and from such a good family), and the fraudster.

KAs and hunch punch, college is all coming back to me now :-). Living far from home now, I don't hear about either of those anymore. Thanks for the story!

*still giggling and commiserating at the same time*

I wonder if every woman has their own superstition of what will cause a date/relationship/boyfriendy-type-situation to go horribly wrong. Or just plain wrong. I know I have one!

Too funny, I am a MTSU alumni 1985 and again in 1993. I don't remember the robbery, but those KA men were definetely southern gentlemen!

GET...OUT...!!! That was one hell of a surprise ending. Damn fine. God bless America and college.

oh, and p.s. - the last guy I dated? Last name of Gandy. Family from the South. No lie.

Art forger is a bit more upscale....almost up there with jewel thief and insider trading guy.

That is one fandamntastic story right there you all.

Okay - I've been thinking a lot about this; you need to be saving these gems for a book. Talk about a million dollar cat fund - you could get Soba her own tiara with the $ you'd make off of a book of your stories.

Oh My Gosh! I am rolling laughing at you! I think I might have worn that dress to a formal at MTSU in 1984. Before your time I guess. Did you live on campus? I wish I wasn't old and could remember the name of the 300 year old dorm I lived in.
Please take care out there in the wilds on CA.

Oh my heck.

My mother (whose people are originally from Atlanta so I know a little whereof you speak), my sisters, and I just love you and your adventures to little bits.

If you do not write a book someday it will be the biggest shame in the universe.

Oh my heck.

My mother (whose people are originally from Atlanta so I know a little whereof you speak), my sisters, and I just love you and your adventures to little bits.

If you do not write a book someday it will be the biggest shame in the universe.

Sorry for the double post - the doggone internet said there was an error the first time. Erg.

omg. best. story. ever.

I had a super crush on this guy in seventh grade. He sat next to me in science class and we used to chase each other and play kissing games. he moved away. Years later when I was in college, he robbed, stabbed and killed a seventy-some year old man and has a lifetime sentence in prison. Crazies don't just come from the South Laurie. Sometimes they come from Idaho.

Nice site. Thanks:
shemales pics

gotta love them southern boys. danger doesn't come in any other accent like that one! please please write a book you'll be a winner and that's a promise you can take to the bank!
h

Well.. at least he was polite! :)

Um, it's spelled "y'all"

Sorry, makes me go all twitchy and all...