Anyone who reads Go Fug Yourself should know not to wear the formal shorts!!! Urgh.

Lot's of pissed people at target(R) last nite - due in large part to the absolute dearth of Halloweeny items!!

He-soo Creesto. Was I *really* first?!

indeed :) monkey power!

YOU ARE SO RIGHT CAP!!!!!!!!!! Why don't they make a nice womanly shirt that we can buy, get the ususal compliments on, and replace as we need? Why is shopping for clothes (and it seems to be true no matter the size you are) like exploring for a new world. You can never find just nice simple well-made pieces. And when you do happen upon something that passes for same, you can NEVER find it again. My husband on the other hand has ordered the same style shirt and pants for YEARS, in lots of different colors, patterns etc.

It's just not fair!

Formal shorts? Do NONE of these people read www.gofugyourself.com?

I think stores do this to us to discourage us from even entering said store. Like we are too fugly to shop there

:) Monkey Power Activate!!! I like that.

Yeah, I think part of my hating the xmas holidays has a lot to do with the constant bombardment from Sept to Dec. I honestly cannot believe they sell more xmas stuff by starting before Columbus Day. They just end up putting it on sale in November.

Formal Shorts. {{shudder!!!}}

Amen, Sister!
The Macy's and all the others have no business being so Christmasy when we have yet to celebrate the sacred costumed and candied festival!
Formal shorts should not be allowed in the work place. You either see the skinny chicks strutting about in them or the "ya got no business wearing that" types trying to strut around in them. Both of which are usually sporting some sort of spangled mess of a blouse with it.

Now I must go somewhere and do some tai chi or meditaion or poppers or something to restore balance to my none formal short wearing life!

;-)

My teenage son asked me to help find him gold "bling" at the Halloween store so that he could top off his costume: auntie's old fur coat, pork pie hat, pin-stripe pants and all the gold costume jewelry he could drape around his neck. I asked him if he really wanted to go to the party as Rick James, and he said in all Northern California political correctedness, "Mom, the pimp thing is just a joke, but I AM really bothered about wearing fur."

well, i for one hate the formal shorts in all shapes and sizes. i know someone that wears them (too often) but they are about 2 sizes too small! geez it's aweful. then i went shopping (b/c i am sheltered and the co-workers were the first i had seen) and all that was in macys, ann taylor, dillards and all the stores were formal shorts. ill be honest... i hate skirts and dresses, but ill start wearing them if my beloved trousers are going to be made in to shorts!

Yeah, that's so right on! Just like the Designer certitude that all petite women want little gathered pouffy sleeve caps on their suit jackets. Cuz nothing's cuter than a weensy little professional woman. Aw, isn't she precious, hee hee!

Word!

"formal shorts" is an oxymoron. No wonder gofugyourself has so much material to work with! UGH!! besides....what happened to THANKSGIVIGN PEOPLE??? given a bit more time...we'll be seeing Christmas decorations in freaking august! we live in a dark and crazy world people.

I have two words for you: Off Fifth. (The Saks credit card will bring substantive coupons, too - ie, 30% off an item, 25% off an entire receipt, etc.)

Or, barring that, Ann Taylor. I can find tops that look good, fit well (hint: look for shirts with bust darts), and don't break the bank.

Now - are formal shorts to be worn with short-sleeve suit jackets? *shudder*

formal shorts are one reason why at 49 I dress like a teenage boy whenever I can! Pull out the hoodie and jeans, it is Halloween!

Oh Lord. I had never HEARD of formal shorts. Those are HIDEOUS!

But this is why I sew. And why the other 70 percent of my wardrobe is Land's End. OK, so it's a bit like a uniform, but the stuff fits, looks professional, lasts for years and years and I can put it on and forget about it without worrying about whether the blouse is gaping or the skirt's too short or whatever.

Don't even get me started on the malls. Everything is designed for 21-year-olds, and the stuff designed for those of us over 40 ... look, I'm over 40, I'm NOT DEAD, ALL RIGHT??? Sheesh.

Happy Halloween, CAP, and thanks for the truly scary post!

Oh Lord. I had never HEARD of formal shorts. Those are HIDEOUS!

But this is why I sew. And why the other 70 percent of my wardrobe is Land's End. OK, so it's a bit like a uniform, but the stuff fits, looks professional, lasts for years and years and I can put it on and forget about it without worrying about whether the blouse is gaping or the skirt's too short or whatever.

Don't even get me started on the malls. Everything is designed for 21-year-olds, and the stuff designed for those of us over 40 ... look, I'm over 40, I'm NOT DEAD, ALL RIGHT??? Sheesh.

Happy Halloween, CAP, and thanks for the truly scary post!

CAP....found the shirt you are describing at Macy's 3 weeks ago...Liz Claiborne. A bit pricey but beautiful and fits really well. No adornments!!
Empathy on the Xmas overload!
Hope you are cooking up the bacon for Roy!

Oh, you've hit upon two of my (many) pet peeves: Christmas starting before Halloween is even here....it's obnoxious and robs it of so much of the "special." Also, the inability to buy a blouse without it being see-through or having the boob gaping thing goin on. Always with the gaping. (and please, I am not THAT big! there's no excuse!)

I used to think Christmas crap before Thanksgiving was tacky, but on Halloween? That’s just daft. And I was going to make the gofugyourself.com and formal short connection but I someone has already beaten me to it. Also beware the leggings. Especially avoid formal shorts and leggings.
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/05/godfugga.html

Happy Halloween! CAP, are you going to the WeHo festivities tonight?

Formal shorts??!! WTF??!!

I hear 'ya, sista'. If I see one more blouse with leopard print on it I'm going to barf. This summer I kept seeing those babydoll tops with tiny straps - what were they thinking? Women shopping for those sizes need UNDERGARMENTS. I <3 underwires and no fashion trend is going to persuade me to give them up! Talbots may have what you're looking for, but they're pricey. I've seen *some* nice/professional/plain stuff at Avenue and if you sign up for their e-mails they have frequent coupons. Kohl's is great pricewise, if they're in your area, but not a huge selection. Good luck! I have a business trip all next week and can't wear my khakis (because that's what the prisoners wear) so I have a shopping marathon planned for Saturday. I'm not looking forward to it.

OtherLisa is right. Land's End for those basic separates that fit well and last.

Ass-o-rific! Ha!

New here.

And immediately shocked to read that shopping isn't one of the best ways to deal with anxiety.

You're kidding......right?

Formal shorts?! I've never heard of that. They look positively awful. I do like a *little* bit of the spangle now and then but geez, it's everywhere! And may I add my disgruntled voice to the others on how it's so hard to find decent, classic women's clothing. Men have it so easy! I like Eddie Bauer but they are expensive. Is Land's End like that, clothes and price wise? Think I'll check out their website.

Even when I was young I was never one for the latest clothing fads, I just want simple and classic. Is that too much to ask for?

The Macy's and many others obviously do not read go fug yourself, which besides your's is my other favorite blog. I have a problem finding work clothes. You can find them in abundance if your occupation involves strolling the boulevard.

"I know you think women-sized-women love freaking appliques and beads and printed fabric that looks like Carmen Miranda had a hallucinogenic episode and thew up on it."

Amen sister! What is up with that?

I don't mind the merchandise out for those who are organized and do all of their Christmas shopping early but I really miss the days of yore when the Christmas decorations didn't go up until the day after Thanksgiving. And don't get me started on the piped in Christmas music. I'm so sick of it by December that it kind of spoils the whole season.

Why can't anyone make clothing for more mature women without making us look like we're trying to look 16 or dressing like an old hag?

Darlin', I am so with you on the clothing designers. Doesn't matter what size you are; shopping for a classic item in a decent fabric/fiber is enough to reduce a strong woman to tears. Which brings me to the question, how did something get to be a classic if it's IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY THE %$#@! THING???

Thanks for the warning about the Christmas decorations; I will not enter a mall or department store until Jan. 5, at the earliest; the crazy season is upon us.

This is why I, also a "Woman," have given up on shopping at the mall -- spangles, shorts, FORGET IT! The look doesn't even look that great on teens! As much as I hate it, it's Lands End and LL Bean via the internet. And a uniform - black pants/skirt, black jacket, T in white, lavender or turquoise, black sweater/polarfleece/etc. I've given up on blouses, too much gap-opus (and I'm not that big)no matter what size I try on. At least I save more money for yarn that way.....

Laurie, I'm a fellow "women's" department shopper. What are they thinking with all the appliques? Hideous I say. I guess they think our self-esteem and dignity is already in the crapper for having to shop in that department so they might as well go ahead and strip any little bit of it we might possibly have left or something.

I'd never heard of or would have believed in the existance of formal shorts until I read the "Go Fug Yourself" girls bashing them, and rightly so.

Let's face it, if this past season of Project Runway (and especially its winner - ugh) is any indication, designers have absolutely NO CLUE as to how to design for the "fuller figured" woman.

But Macy's is probably not the place to shop for nice women's clothes. May I suggest Talbots Woman -- much classier stuff. And I bought a really nice cabled cardigan from Eddie Bauer last year, and I believe it's still in their catalog this fall, so check it out.

Christmas in October. Hatin' that.

I hate formal shorts.

Also the whole minidress over leggings thing? You have to be a size 0 to get away with that one...and the really teeny miniskirts???? I see girls all over the university with miniskirts so short you see buttcheek. I soooo don't want to see buttcheek.

I find that eddie bauer has good basic clothes- especially eddiebaueroutlet.com- they tend to have last season's clothes but you can get some incredible deals when they have sales. Ann Taylor Loft is also good and cheaper then the regular Ann Taylor, and Land's End has been updating a lot of their clothes. I got a pair of jeans from there that fit perfect. Seriously, not too much of a low rise, but also not a too-"high" rise, and they have nice professional, button-down shirts and a wide range of sizes.

Formal shorts should be banned. Especially formal shorts with blazers. oye...

a friend of mine handed me down some CORDUROY formal shorts. um, hello? sparks-a-flying!!!
and the holidays? sigh. I may have to hibernate for the next couple of months.

I am in the process of losing weight right now and recently (finally!) crossed back from plus sized into regular sizes, though barely. And I swear to god, every single time I went shopping, I thought, I bet I could make *millions* designing clothes for plus sized women are timelessly stylish, well-made, and actually flattering. Why always the sequins, the loud prints, the polyester fabric, the non-sensical ruffles? (also, the capri pants - it seems like they always want to push capris on big girls, even though if anybody could benefit from long, clean lines, it's us). Most of these are styles that would look bad on a slim woman, and certainly they're a bad idea for those of us whose figures maybe need a little flattering. I was so fed up that I was about ready to give up and sew my own.
So yeah, I feel your pain.

Word up, girl!

Rhett, I hate to tell you, but there don't even seem to be suits with skirts in the women's sizes this year. I saw lots of pants but if they are all turning into shorts, ick. Not that I don't like pants, but I look better in a skirt and I wanted one for interviews.

June, I did see 3/4 length sleeve suit jackets this fall when I was trying to find an interview suit. They were cute, and I like 3/4 sleeves, but like shorts, they can't possibly be as formal as a normal suit. And *together*? Ick!

And while we're on this topic, please, oh please, can the peasant-gypsy thing, and most of all, the freaking EMPIRE WAISTS please go out of style soon? Empire waists hide the nice actual waists of people who have them. People who don't have them (like me) look pregnant in empire waist dresses (or blouses... blouses should not have waists, empire or otherwise).

And Land's End is going downhill ever since Sears bought them.

Oh, man. You thought you pushed my buttons yesterday. When my local mall (conveniently located a mere 150 yards from my workplace, for my wallet-draining pleasure) has elves assembling Santa's Palace *last week*, which I would like to point out was not even Halloween yet, things have gone too far. Hello, corporate America: we know we are supposed to buy things for Christmas, it's patriotic and everything, and we know it's your solemn corporate duty to remind us of this, but what ever happened to waiting until after Thanksgiving? Do you not realize that if you start reminding me now, I may have time to *make* things, which will make me feel all warm and fuzzy but also lower your profits, unless you happen to be a yarn company?

As for dress-up shorts, I can only say thank God, I knew there had to be some benefit to living in a cold climate.

October 31, 2006:

I am already sick of Christmas. How 'bout them apples?

Only in LA could you find (a) formal shorts (b) in November.

It does ruin the specialness of Christmas, doesn't it? Why do they DO that? Greedy !@&*#! It's the whole capitalist thing. It's what we get, I suppose. But I LOVE Christmas! I love the simple, non-materialistic, old-fashioned Christmas. If there ever was such a thing. I've never known it in my lifetime.

Oh lord- I see this trend going the way of micro-mini skirted "career suits" about fifteen years ago. As in- straight to the retail "garbage bin". Who BUYS these monstrousities? There has to be a few-enough to make those chuckle-headed designers think they'll SELL. But oh no...I was shopping LAST JANUARY and saw racks of these pathetic fashion blights on clearance. Not even the ravenous taste-deprived fashionistetts of the "Brass Rail" (or whatever it's called) at Nordies would go for it.

Spandex. It should be called gapdex. Blouses with spandex gap. Spandex should be against the law for normal-sized over 40 women to wear. Being one of those (okay, maybe a little bit amply normal-sized), I know whereof I speak.

But I love Christmas. They can start it in July and I'll still love it. Helps that I don't shop for Christmas gifts, just go into the stores and malls and look at the decorations and listen to the music. I love Christmas.

God Bless you for saying this!!! I started sewing so that I could have nice plain black tops....not a whole lot to ask, but impossible to find. Why does Lane Bryant look like Forever 21 for big girls? Ugh!!!

"Formal" and "shorts" should never ever ever be in the same sentence together, unless it's this one: "This occasion is too formal for shorts."
OMG, thank you for speaking for us all. (And while we're thinking about it, if 25% of Americans are obese like the handwringers keep whining, why aren't 25% of the clothes in the stores for obese people? You can't tell me that there are more 00s than 20s, so why do they get 50 choices of jeans and I get two?)

Hurray and Amen for you, Woman-Sized Sister!! This has been my complaint for a while now. Do you know I asked for a Woman-Sized dress at Mervyn's last spring and the woman looked at me as if I had asked if I asked where the section for three-legged unics!!

Yell it from the rooftops Laurie! If I see another t-shirt with a glittery kitty telling me to "hang in there" I will go off!

ROFL. Laurie, I so needed you today! From the quest for a cardigan to wondering who in their right mind would wear formal shorts, and WHERE? (and yes, we've even got them at THE Mall (of America) here in MN (I suppose so all the Japanese tourists can buy them.)

Don't even let's start on the Christmas decoration thang...

I feel your pain, sister and appreciate the therapy.

Rock on in your quest to bring back sexy.

ew-ww-w-w...

We had Christmas ornaments in July at Hallmark, not LAST year's models either. They were cheerfully dated 2006. I wanted to run out of the store yelling that it was 86 degrees out and too early for santa clause. Now I know why I do not like to shop.

I'm with everyone here, I'll hibernate and pretend that all the holiday crap never happened. The grinch was right. I wish when he stole Christmas, he never gave it back.

It makes me nuts to see Christmas decorations before Halloween! It's bad enough right afterwards, but before, or on Halloween, is just plain wrong!

Formal shorts. Honestly.

Thank you, CAP, for the heads up about Macy's. I need some clothes, but I'll be looking in much funkier places, like the Sears on Santa Monica and Western. They'll probably have Christmas stuff up too, but it won't be quite so aggressive.

As to the ludicrous women's size choices, it's not just the designers who are nuts. Some store buyer thought they were a good idea. Without the buyers, these designers' acid trips would never reach us.

I really don't have room in my apartment to sew, but I did recently get a used knitting machine...

Oh, no! Formal shorts!?! Chadwick's has really nice clean tailored blouses, but I bought one of their suits and it is kind of cheap up close.

I was like huh? shorts? winter? and then I remembered you were in California ;)

Although at first it seemed perfectly normal since we're heading into summer, so shorts are everywhere. Not sure if we have such a thing as "formal shorts" though!

Your tailor can be your best friend. Buy a cardigan (or blouse) a size bigger in order to get it to close properly over your bust and then have your tailor take in the rest of the garment. Not very expensive and a sweater (blouse) that fits you perfectly. My tailor can do amazing things with a sewing machine!

Yes, and what IS it with the suits with pants, no skirt? You can hardly find decent skirts any more! Pants are fine sometimes, particularly on cold and rainy days and Fridays, but I always feel more dressed up and feminine in a skirt.

oh what everyone else says.

i'm tired and i've got 16 year olds trick or treating telling me they're 11 (yeah -- and you shave?) and you're showing me pictures of formal short suits. because i bet you there's a matching jacket somewhere.

Although, can I just say I went over to Go Fug Yourself and had a look at the shorts, and I dunno... I think short shorts, of the kind that could also be called hotpants, are ok in some situations. If you have the legs to pull them off (which I don't, so I confine my short short wearing to casual short shorts out on the boat where no one can see me)

But those horrible long shorts look like something my mother would wear. The trend here over winter was to wear knee-length shorts SUITS, with patterned tights underneath and high heels. NO ONE looks good in long shorts!

Don't even get me started on the state of fashion! I am not overweight. I'm a healthy weight with a curvy build, and yet I feel like a big fat cow whenever I go shopping!
Just typing this has pissed me off!
@%$#&^!!!

"Take your formal shorts and shove them up your size double-zero backside."

If I didn't already think you were the funniest thing on the internets (in an excellent way) - the sentence above would have made me love you.

Preach it!

Formal shorts are an abomination, as are cropped pants. But I do admit that my eyeballs do not bleed at some of the conservative office shorts worn around these parts (Florida). However, they need to be worn by those 1) under 30; 2) over 5'7" and with long legs; and 3) under 150 lbs. And with heeled sandals and a conservative t or sweater set. On the right body those office Bermuda shorts aren't hideous. But formal shorts are always a crime against nature, even if you are a size negative whatever.

So far I've had THREE trick-or-treaters, not even my usual suspects. And the dogs are lined up at the door waiting to greet their friends. WTF?

Laurie, you tell those designers a thing or two! They've never listened to me, but I'm not the famous Crazy Aunt Purl. We women-sized women would like to own a couple of tops that don't make us look like overstuffed sofas, thank you!!

I totally agree with you on the women's clothing, but especially the part about the blouses with crap all over them. Another one to add to your list is the horrendous embroidered cartoon characters that seem to populate woman sized clothing. Why on earth do they think that just because someone is not petite that they want to wear cartoons on their shirts? Is it supposed to be a crack at them being fat because they sit around watching cartoons all day? I don't get it.

You (and everyone who commented, lurked, wears womanly sizes) should go read this:
http://dwanollah.com/prehistoric/blather/index.htm
It's great. go look at her other stuff too. She's a hoot.

I still can't believe the style of clothes plus-size designers want womanly shaped women to wear. It's insane. I swear a plus-sized woman should design plus-sized clothes...not the size zeros like you say. Maybe then we'd end up with something with style without paying an arm and a leg.

Oh, the horror, how can they shove it in our face already? At least maybe you don't have a mother who insists on asking the first store clerk upon entering a department store..."Can you please tell me where the LARGER LADIES section is?"...

Amen sweetie, but you are preaching to the Fat woman crowd here baby. I am so tired of having to shop in the ugly clothes section. It should be the beautiful and appropriate just a little larger section, but it never ever is. Ans please God why can't they make jeans above an 8 that don't look like immortal crap on.

C

Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Christmas at Christmas and no shorts to the opera. Have you noticed that everything advertised as "stretch" is two sizes smaller - I guess so skinny people can enjoy the thrill of stretchiness instead of normal people enjoying clothes that successfully button or zip. Two of the most beautiful words in the english language: "wide leg".

I went to Michael's yesterday to get yarn for a friend, who wants me to knit him a Fair Isle hat. (I tried to take him to the LYS, but he didn't like the prices and isn't afraid of acrylic. Silly boy.) While there, I saw an artifical Christmas tree made with Hot Pink Feathers. Pre-lit, as well.

Here's a link: http://www.michaels.com/art/online/displayProductPage?productNum=ch0619

I am old enough to remember "formal shorts" the last time, in the mid to late 90s. I don't remember what they were called then, but there was a big ruckus in the office I worked in about why the women got to wear shorts to work. They weren't good then, and they aren't good now. YUCK!

Lands' End, LL Bean and Eddie Bauer are the way to go. They make clothes for real people, be they thin, fat, short or tall. And they ship to your door! No going to the mall and being assulted (and insulted) by Christmas stuff in October!

Gonna pipe-up again.
For cute woman sizes- try Sillouttes (or however you spell that damn thing). Really cute stuff that is hip and FITS!
As for womens wear in general- hmph! I've gotten so sick of it that I'm planning to sign up for that new "custom-fit patterns to you" services and make my own damn stuff that's well-fitting and WASHABLE. Why do we have to put up wit all this badly made crapalicious stuff that isn't worth the fund to begin with and THEN we gotta pay to dry clean it???

I so agree about the sparkly embellishments. I am not a sparkly, shiny person! I like mellow colors, fine fabric, well fitted but not skin tight. Is that so much to ask for? Apparently so!

I know that there seems to be a prevalent belief 'Industry' that as one's size goes above a 12 - their sense of fashion is obliterated... by what, expanded fat cells?

WTF? I know I was thinking - Jeez! I sure would like to call a bit more attention to my thighs - how about some glittery, light blue bumble bees alighting on cunning 'patches' - Donna Karan! Or better yet, some random shell pieces and sequins on bleached out denimn right on the saddle bag area of the thigh- Ralph Lauren!!! But wait, lets be even more Au Courant' can I have a kitten in sequins on my ass pocket- ummm... what did I expect from Kimora?

Wait, I know, how about some FUGLY shirts to go with the atrocity known as jeans above a size twelve!!! OMG - sorry I slipped off my soap box ranting.

Why, oh why, is it impossible for real sized women to have real fashion? Not Torrid (love you, but I am 40!!), not LB (you have saved me more than once), but honest to God fashion. Some days I just want simple, classic and chic clothing that is well made - no cherries, kittens, glitter or other 'extras'.

Oh, CAP, you slay me with this post. You so funny. You the bomb. I read it out loud to my husband and he laughed too. He said he's been shopping with me, he knew exactly what you're talking about. I like Kohl's, personally, but the choices out there (in general) for us women-sized women SUCK. And, yes, I remember formal shorts from last time, and they sucked them too. I used to enjoy shopping when I was a smaller-sized woman. Now that I'm not so small, it kinda took all the fun out of it for me.

I must admit that I am up to the formal shorts challenge. Then again I was the girl who regularly rocked a pair of Daisy Dukes to clubs back in the late 80s along with any interesting pieces I found in vintage stores. My vision is that if accessorized properly, which I do not think they have been in any of the photos on GoFug, that they might actually look OK. Of course, to me they are going out wear. Something to wear on a wild night on the town.

I thought it was just me. I'm glad to see everybody else who matters feels the same way about clothes shopping. It is so depressing: cheap-looking, poorly made, poorly designed but overpriced. I look like I'm wearing a uniform, but it's all I can find that's comfortable, affordable, and halfway decent. My Lee slacks fit (mostly), and I can put a blazer on over them so they look semi-dressy. Plus: I have sometimes resorted to consignment and thrift shops for "good" stuff that's been discarded. Now what does that say about retail?

Also: I could swear I saw a lit-up Christmas tree in a window on the way home from work tonight.

Preach it, girl.

It's so nice to feel relatively normal in knowing that I am very much not the only one who hates what designers have done to "womens" clothing! Why do they think that just because we aren't a size two, we want things that are just butt f'n ugly????

Amen, sister!

AMEN SISTAH!!! And what about sleeveless stuff?? And "sits just below the waist" stuff?? Women size women bodies are not flattered by these!!

You know the worst part about working holiday retail? The incessant holiday music that gets played in retail stores from Nov. 1 until January 2. It really makes me want to spork someone in the eye, but management discourages that kind of thing and I want my after christmas bonus, dammit.

Also, pssst, I found a pretty basic styled cardi at Ross a few weeks ago, no fluff, no ruffles, no bling. Ross is so excellent.

I'll see your formal shorts and raise you a formal camisole. At Lane Bryant, no less, because nothing is more attractive than a full-figured gal in a tweed cami. Apparently, that's what you wear with your formal shorts.

I, too, would give my eye teeth for a cardigan and a button-down shirt that did not expose my bra without being otherwise too huge. (because if you get it to fit the boobs, it's big everywhere else.

Or how about this: for us Women-Sized-Women who are blessed in teh booty area, yet less blessed in the boobal area, how about something that might fit us ALL OVER? Or some kind of acknowledgement that not every generously proportioned gal is proportioned in the same manner????
And on a related topic: if Americans are all such great big fast-food-eating messes, why the HELL are the decent clothes all so golldanged tiny???

Don't you realize that Christmas now begins October 31, just like Halloween started August 15th.

Man, those shorts wouldn't even look good if they weren't wrinkled to kingdom come and back. I knew Macy's was loosing it's cred when it bought out other department stores and even we got one in my town... LOL!

I'm holding out for the formal swimsuit so I can go straight to the pool after work... NOT!

Dang, I've seen the Christmas displays already, but the shorts?!? Missed that, thank God. Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.

OMG! I was thinking that exact thing when I went to Macy's last week! Does anyone else remember when the Holidays officially started with Thanksgiving, and not the 4th of July??

I also second your wonderful insight about finding clothes that fit if you are not a size -4. Maybe that will be your next project- your own clothing line called CAP. Like DKNY, only much better! :)

Guys, it's called "Christmas Creep" and I guess Harrod's in London starts Christmas merchandising in August! I heard a reporter say that most of us will pay full price for Christmas gifts right now, especially on unplanned/impulse purchases.

you failed to mention WOMEN'S sizes also have arms 3 times longer than ANY human would ever need.......have you noticed that????
and then there's the horizontal stripes the designers seem sooooooo fond of when it comes to womens sizes.........

I completely agree about the formal shorts! I'm a petite but it doesn't matter what size - they're unflattering and ugly except on the superskinniest model types (who can also, I might add, wear the horrible skinny jeans). And actually, I blame it on the 80s trend. There's a lot of horrible clothing lately.

OK, so I live in So Cal too - and it does get "chilly" out here too - so if one were to wear those shorts, what would one wear on the legs, (which are now fish-belly-pale). Nothing? Stockings? White stockings like in the 90's? No way, Jose!

I also saw my first Christmas ad on tv today (for Ross)...complete with Christmas music. Barf. I sure won't shop at Ross this year. Happy Halloween, everyone! (It's now almost 8:30 and I have a full bowl of candy left)

You are so right!!!!
This is why most of my clothing is ordered on-line from catalogs. And so are most of my Christmas gifts. Sensory overload!! Must leave store NOW!

F-U-G-L-Y is what they are. Why do fashion designers think that because they call it "fasion" that we will blindly think that it is ok to wear and believe that it is attractive?

You think that Macy's is bad with the Christmas decor?. Hobby Lobby had their Christmas stuff out BEFORE the Halloween decor was out! I call that screwed up. I am waiting for the day that they actually start putting it all out in July and think that there is nothing wrong with it.

Hummm I wonder if the Christmas decor putter-uppers are the same as the ones that thought it was smart to bring out the dress shorts.

Maybe it would be a good idea for any woman who may need to sometimes and occasionally wear a "Woman's" size to carry a bedazzler while shopping and secretly spruce up those sadly unglittery size 0-10's.

Maybe.

what is the fashion world coming to? Formal shorts??? I remember when these shorts worn with a blazer and pumps was considered in vogue in the 90's!

There is very little choice for women in her 40's...I can't even fit into a pair of "skinny" jeans from the Gap!

Oh man, those are so ugly! I am a tshirt/jeans wearing woman of 40 and recently went shopping to freshen up my tired wardrobe and was appalled at the garbage that is passed off as 'fashion' in the mall here in SoCal. I am not a 'woman-shaped' woman, but am a size 5 (don't kill me). My problem is that everything in my size at ANY store in the mall is designed for the corner hooker! Everything is butt ugly, and shows tits and ass and is so tight you can't zip your pants up without a pair of pliers! AND WHO THE HELL THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO BRING BACK LEGGINGS. Jesus Christ why did the fashion designers/buyers time travel to 1980, and can we please go back to having regular clothes in the stores, please? I wore this ugly uncomfortable crap 25 years ago, don't make me wear it again!

Uh, Thank you.

What would really make those shorts worse would be those damn flap back pockets that makes everyone who isn't a size 1, look like they have huge asses! That is one of those major fashion don'ts. I don't own a pair of those flappy pocket pants either since I want to slim it down, not advertise it, or make it appear even bigger!
What is the deal with those empire waist shirts? They make everyone look like they have a bun in the oven. Totally tacky in that puke pink pattern, you have seen this since it is the rage with the teenagers.
Why can't we have normal stuff to wear and not any of this funky stuff? By the way, who in their right mind wears shorts in the winter besides some crack whore who can't feel anything anyway since she is numb from all of the crap she is smoking.

That. Is. So. Ugly!

Reminds me of two things:

1) Back when I was just barely out of highschool, I worked in retail. They stuck me in the women's section. This was crazy. These women hated me. They were always telling me how I didn't understand, because I was a little bitty thing at the time that could fit into size 2 pants.

2) In the women's section, they also had the maternity clothes. I was always disgusted to see the cutesy bows and other junk they always put on maternity clothes. Like you've suddently BECOME a baby, not that you're merely having one.

All my "good plain clothes" come from LL Bean, the thrift store or my knitting needles. Once in a purple moon a dress comes frm a store.

I hate-hate-HATE the hooker look that is so popular now ... and I haven't yet seen the "formal shorts" make their appearance again here in the South, thank God, but if I do see them I am going to roll them up tight and shove every single pair I see right up Boy George's arse. He invented the damn things.

Of course this formal-shorts thing reminds me of a family occasion we were invited to at a posh resort in the Southeast when I first married my husband. I am from a middle-class family, but of course I have always dressed sensibly.

A newly acquired relative phoned to discuss the various activities a few nights before this holiday-weekend trip took place, and inquired if I had any "resort clothes." I said, "Huh? Resort clothes?" She said, "You know, golf and tennis clothes." I said I didn't play golf or tennis, but I'm a fierce switch-hitter if anyone's playing softball. She said, "Well, they have horseback riding there, do you have riding clothes?" I said, "Of course I do."

There was this cheerful and relieved sigh on the other end of the line, and I was reminded to bring a nice dress for the Saturday dinner and to remind hubby to bring a nice suit. All was well.

When it came time to go to the stables, I appeared downstairs in a canvas shirt, faded Levis and my good roper boots, with my hair tied back in a ponytail. Of course everyone else was set for English. I got a wonderful laugh out of that. We all got on the silly little stretch golf cart and went to the stables where I saw that they had a bunch of tired old trail mares but then I spotted a decent appaloosa, got the use of the horse, asked for a trail map and took off.

I also spent a good bit of time frying my hide by the pool in a string bikini, much to the consternation of my mother-in-law. It was grand.

Well, get ready for Christmas. The Santa Clause movie (the one with Tim Allen) opens THIS Friday!!!!

A woman after my own heart. It is too early for christmas and formal shorts are just hideous ( on anyone)- as for the Carmen Miranda look - it's everywhere. What I want to know is who is buying this stuff? Someone must be or they wouldn't still be pushing it. It's time to vote with our pocket books, then perhaps they will get the message:-)

Sounds like someone is ready to start knitting sweaters. Necessity is the mother of invention, you know. ;)

Oh, Christ! I just remembered!
I HAD A PAIR OF FORMAL SHORTS! I used to wear them with tights and a bolero jacket. I remember I had one of those funky lopsided hair cuts, short on one side and longer on the other, so it must have been the late eighties.
I must have blocked it from my mind, like some victims of traumatic events do.

OMG, I hear you!

I found some shirts yesterday at SAM'S of all places.

Bust darts, fitted & has some pretty lace inset in the front (nice not trashy lace).

I bought the black & white and am going back for the blue.

Formal shorts OR those formal gouchos & capris with skinny heeled boots? YUCK.

God, I know, right?! I despair for women-sized women every time I see a fat fashion cliche like some stupid sequins glued to the neckline of an otherwise FINE tank top, or something that totally won’t work for fat bodies like the stupid knit gaucho trend (formal shorts included).

I just don't get it. Women-sized women want the SAME clothes normal women want, just a little larger please.

You'd think that with all the silicone-enhanced breasts out there, the designers would start designing blouses that fit over said breasts. Or for regular, well-endowed women. Good grief. Yesterday I must have wasted the better part of an hours in search of a classy blouse that didn't gape.

No, I didn't find one.

And wouldn't it be really really nice if those blouses were made of 100% cotton? I sweat. I don't want to wear polyester.

Formal shorts...yeah...this is why I don't move further south. Where I live? This time of year? Shorts are also known as...cruise-wear.

They're also showing formal shorts IN CANADA. Where it's going to go below freezing very soon. We've had snow already.

I can just see it - dressing up for a christmas party in formal shorts, then putting on snowpants to get to the party.

I've worn snowpants over a cocktail dress, when the fuel line on the tractor with the snowblower froze, causing the tractor to stall on the middle of the hill to my parent's house and I had to meet my ride at the bottom of the 1/4 mile driveway in full winter gear (snowboots, mitts, hat that smooshes the hair). That almost sounds like a Laurie story and my mother has pictures to prove this did happen.

Here's a sad truth... my favorite clothing store is Target.

Yep. Target.

Being a "woman-sized woman" it is IMPOSSIBLE to find decent clothes anywhere. JC Penney seems to have missed the land between teenage garb and old lady polyester. Sears equally sucks. And my favoritest store of all time -- Casual Corner -- closed up shop (why God why????).

So that brings me to Target. There's actually decent clothes that range from work-ish wear to decently casual. And the prices aren't bad (especially compared to Macy's or Lord & Taylor -- YIKES).

Unfortunately, my clothing source feels like a dirty little secret since who wants to admit their entire fashion collection comes from the bullseye... but if the shirt fits (and looks OK to wear to work).........

As another woman-sized woman, I'm sitting here saying YES!! Why do clothing designers and manufacturers find it impossible to grasp the concept of clean lines and flattering cuts even for women who aren't a size 00. Sheesh!

And speaking from the uber-short segment of the female community, I think the shorts, clam-diggers, knee-high socks, tall boots, or any item that cuts the body short should be loaded onto an old tanker, pushed into the ocean and set on fire. This goes for all the poly-rayon crap you have to sort through to get to the good fabrics as well...

Give me a silk blouse and a pair of full-length pants with some drape and a good cuff. I hate trends!

Christmas decorations already? Sigh.

Thanks to you, all my family members are getting knitted scarves for Christmas this year! (You inspired me to learn to knit, and I love it!)

Say it sista!

Oh, this made me laugh!! I'm particularly horrified by the re-emergence of tapered pants and belted sweaters. Oh, the horror!!

Old Navy had their Xmas decorations up BEFORE 10/31. And they have formal shorts too. What oh what is this world coming too?

I shop at Target too, but haven't seen much I liked this fall. Mostly right now I'm just not buying clothes -- I have too many and I'm trying to lose weight -- but holy cow it was a pain looking for an interview suit. (Never did find one. Wound up combining a jacket I got in the spring and a skirt I have had for like fifteen years, which was not really the right style, but better than the too long skirt, the too short and also falling-off-too-big one, or the pants.)

Target's maternity wear is decent looking too. I mean, quality-wise, well, it's Target, but it's not all foofy. In fact I keep thinking, "oh yeah, that looks good!" and then being disappointed to find that the thing that looked good is maternity, not women's.

All the sizes suddenly shrank this year, too, it seems like. I mean, sometimes it seems like that and it's me changing, not the clothes, if you know what I mean and I think you do. But I've got 3x shirts from the same Target line that are tighter than the 2x ones I bought last winter. Maybe it's just part of the style -- all my 24-year-old classmates are wearing shirts skin-tight and two inches above their jeans, even the ones who are fairly convex between the shirt and jeans. I guess you have to do this if you want to show off your base-of-the-spine tattoo.

Oh yeah, and why are DRESSES so hard to find the last few years? All I can find in women's sizes are:
1. Gypsy/peasant, which I have already ranted about
2. Empire waist, often combined with the peasant look
3. Grandmother of the bride dresses.

I have these Lands' End dresses I just love: dressier than jeans, but still pretty casual, because they're just plain knit. Longish, and long sleeved (and one that's short sleeved). Elastic at the waist, so you can wear a belt or not, but you have some sort of shape. And they quit making them, and all they have now is dropped or empire waists. And mine are totally worn out, as in they have holes.

Amen sister! I don't know why they can't resist putting all that garbage on the front of shirts. Do they think we can hide poundage behind sparklies? Do they think we want to?

And can we talk about the cheap fabrics and lousy stitching? Big threads sticking out and hems falling down within a wearing.

I also love how they take a fitted pattern and add inches to it like it will fit the women-sized women. How many shirts have I tried on where the darts were in bizarre places?

Laurie, You are bringing sexy back! And the new sexy is a woman-sized woman giving the fashion industry a piece of her mind! Turns me on! ;-)

Girl I can totally relate.

I went shopping this weekend and I couldn't get over how FUGLY everything is this season. You know what? The 80's were hideous enough the first time around. I may like Flock of Seagulls, but I don't want to look like I just walked out of one of their music videos.

And the formal shorts/gaucho craze? Hi. I live in Northeast Ohio. I don't have chicken legs and I'm not going to wear shorts in subzero temperatures.

Don't even get me started on the particular fugly infestation at macy's right now. they recently changed our local department store into one, and everyone agrees that the clothing would only be worn by someone who was blind. ew.

And, I was so angry this weekend I left a snarky comment on my Old Navy survey.

I did get 10% off my next purchase, however.

HAhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahha...SOOO true!!!

Um, I am women-sized, and I promise, no one needs to see these knees. Ever. And I'm sure some women-sized women will buy these and get the "oh, this is just like when it was OK to wear corduroy shorts with hose" idea, and it'll be so wrong.

Amen Sister!

Thanks for always making me laugh!

As a woman-sized-woman who once made the mistake of purchasing the formal shorts... let me just say that they ARE as bad as they seem! I think I will post a photo of myself in my formal shorts, which I wore on my honeymoon... yes, I am coming to terms with my bad taste, I have a plan, and it only works if I work it.

OK, third post on this thread, but what the hey.

Went to ROSS with my fiance, and was amazed at all the well-made, quality men's clothing we could get for him there. I'm talking designer shirts, pants with taped waistbands, etc.

Then the women's section: cheap, polyester crap and hooker wear. What the hell? I CANNOT find any clothing for me at ROSS, but we can load up on stuff for him and he only has to go shopping once a decade. It's so unfair.

Another reason to buy from catalogs: when I DO buy a suit, I can get the jacket in a different size than the skirt! I am sooooo tired of having to buy a jacket in a 14 and having to take in the skirt to a 10. It's insane. Good thing my Mom taught me how to sew.

I bought these great twill skirts from J.C. Penneys the other day - $20 each. The fabric's not as soft as the Lands Ends ones I used to have, but the really annoying part was that they came down to my ankles. (I'm 5'5".) Fortunately, I know how to hem, but what about all the other women out there who don't know how?

CAP, can you please cut out all our comments and mail/e-mail them to all the major designers and department stores? Tell them you're saving them the cost of a focus group.

OK, someone probably already said this (I did *not* read all 125 comments, so sue me) but those formal shorts (or "suit shorts", as I like to call them) do not look good on anybody, size zero or no. I am a pretty small size and you couldn't *pay* me enough money to don them. It's like the designer ran out of fabric and said "that's ok, we'll make shorts! It'll be a new trend! we will laugh ourselves all the way to the bank when we charge the same price as that of a pair of slacks but use *only half the fabric*!" I saw a pair walking down the street this morning - she had the "I'm a sophisticated and fashionable individual" swagger going on. I swear about 50 sets of eyes (at least) followed her progress down the street, and when she was a fair distance away the snickering started. I wanted to feel bad for her, but I didn't. Because honestly, one should know better than to wear something like, in the words of my roomate, makes one look like a pre-adolescent Victorian-era schoolboy.

Unless, of course, that's what you're into.

Okay, there you go. My formal short nightmare is posted on my blog. Be afraid, and don't make the same mistake I did. Good for you, Purl, for knowing better.

GAH on the xmas decorations already being out. Good lord. As for shopping in the women's section..I KNOW. Have you ever been on www.kiyonna.com? They have nice (albeit expensive) stuff.

A-f@#&#*@-men Laurie!

I hear and feel your pain. This last summer I spent hours, HOURS, a whole day of my life gone, looking for something to wear to a wedding. I just wanted clean and simple and not white or black. And is flattering a little too much to hope for? Evidently so, as I went through the ENTIRE largish mall without finding anything that would work. I finally ended up in a Soccer Mom Clothers store (read: lots of cutesy embroidery on plainish clothes, but with a few pieces without embroidery. And at least they acknowledge the existence of breasts). At that point, I decided it was worth my time learning to sew so I would never have to go through any humiliating time-wasting mall experiences ever again. (One shopgirl, when I complained that these clothes look like crap on someone 16-sized like me said: "have you thought about starting to go to the gym and work out?" Honey, I go to the gym SIX DAYS A WEEK ALREADY. And, news flash, my breasts aren't ever going to just melt away, nor are those big hips, no matter how much cardio and weights I do. I won't ever, ever be a size 8 unless I'm dead.)

Grrr, sorry for the rant. Grrrr formal shorts bastards.

haven't had time to comment but the last couple posts just about made my day(s)!!!

Formal shorts... really? The world's gone crazy.

As for Christmas, the sooner the better! Gotta love all sorts of ornaments in green and red, the trees, the lights... everything! (plus, we don't celebrate Halloween here... ;-))

Okay, here's my opinion:

the ugly fat-girl clothes are part of a conspiracy. See, the Diet Industry is in a deal with the designers - that, or the War! On! Obesity! people are. The point is that the clothes are ugly.

see, it's meant to be a punishment. If you're fat, you don't get to be pretty. (Maybe it's a Darwinian thing: the fat chix don't get to breed, and so somehow, magically, fat will get bred out of the human population?). Or it's meant to drive people, weeping, into the arms of Jenny Craig, to make them small again by feeding them crap food and lecturing at them until they lose all their sense of joy in life and shrivel up to one of those "acceptable" small sizes.

Seriously, I fully expect it to get worse with all the anti-obesity news stories out there - I suppose in another couple seasons the "over 14" racks will be nothing but brown burlap potato sacks.

makes me glad I know how to sew.

I always thought trying to find woman-sized clothes was a horrific experience, especially as I am also under the magical height of 5'4", which means that the only properly-sized clothes are "women's petites". And then I tried finding *maternity* clothes for my short, round self.

I have 4 tops and three pair of pants to wear for the next 3 months. This isn't good.

As a Petite Large (a.k.a. "Jumbo Shrimp"), I feel your pain. Don't get me started on bottoms. Absolutely impossible. This catalog came in the mail last week, and it was heartening to see that the British still sell regular old trousers. www.boden.co.uk

No one needs formal shorts! Who the hell came up with such a crazy idea, anyway? And, does anyone actually wear them? I shudder.

Also, Christmas decorations should go up no sooner than the day after Thanksgiving. That's when America starts its winter season of massive buying and returning, anyway.

It's no better in the 0-10 sizes. I can't find a decent, well-made, reasonably priced plain shirt anywhere. Oh yeah, there's one in the Gap but it's $49. No retailers, I do NOT have money to burn/want to look like a peasant/wear stilettos and see-through chiffon/want to show off my (non-existant) cleavage!!!!

Oh gawd...thank you, thank you, thank you!

No ONE should wear that crazy patterned shit. Ever. Women sized woman or not.

Never.

Oh: Boden has a US site too, but the sizes are UK.
www.bodenusa.com

I love it! You are so right! I (also still a woman-sized woman - I'm working on it but it's slow going) never understood why the clothing companies think that someone who is a size... let's use 26 as an example... would want pictures of domestic animals across their already ample bust. Or, how about the lovely sparkly spangles detailing the hip and butt pockets of someone who might not want more attention drawn to the "junk in their trunk." Further, I think dress shorts are wrong in winter regardless of your size. But, then I'm from New England and that would just be stupid here in winter.

Sorry about the anxiety, btw. Hope things quiet down soon for you.

Shorts, shirts that gap, and how about the newest rage, two shirts instead of one. One shirt on the bottom, usually a spaghetti strap type that us women with real boobs, not the fake ones that stand up by themselves but the real ones that need bras with straps to hold them up, just cannot wear, covered over by another shirt that hits just under the boobage, making it look all the more prominent as it sticks out the middle of the over-shirt, making the two boobs look like one big 'gasp' uni-boob.

Found you from reading the Dude's blog. Normally just read, but you are soooooooooo right about the clothing. I am in the over 50 crowd, not a plus size, but can't find a thing to wear in my size. Need to want to wear the double zero kid stuff, or the plus size which as you say, is never just plain, nice lines, etc. Have frankly given up attempting to buy much. I just get out the needles and or hooks and make myself that sweater and sew the clothes myself. Now finding time for that with a full time job, two grandkids, etc. isn't easy, but saves the headaches at the stores.

A) When are formal shorts EVER appropriate?
B) When do formal shorts EVER not look completely ridiculous?
C) Amen sister on the cardigans and blouse issue.

I recently discovered fine, simple cardigans at Fred Meyer of all places. Almost every woman who saw me wearing them asked where I got them, then promptly bought several, commenting the whole time on how hard they are to find. I've been searching for weeks for some nice blouses for work, but so far stretchy polyester and shiny material from hell is the only stuff I'm unearthing. The only decent ones are the long-sleeve, collared business style shirts, but I can only wear so many of those. I've pretty much given up and am wearing simple, solid colour t-shirts under my Fred Meyer cardigans.

Apparently kimono wrap shirts are the latest, but I think I look like an asshole and can't pull them off. Oh, also very long shirts are the only things available in Washington these days, and they only work on body types reserved for 14 year old anorexics, so we're screwed there.

I just had to add one more thing. THIS is why I usually wear nothing but jeans, t-shirts, and Reeboks. THANK YOU GOD, I have a job that allows this. Formal shorts....good grief charlie brown.

Why of Why can't Ann Taylor have "Women's" sizes????

Being a non-woman-sized-woman (but not petite, and also not a model!), it is hard to find clothes. Being the parent of a 14 year old high school freshman who is 5'11" and does not like to look like a 'ho, it is also hard to find clothes for her! We call the 'ho look "ho po" as in whore posers.... it's frightening.

And while shopping THREE WEEKS AGO in Seattle and Tacoma at Macys (for homecoming dress for said non ho-po daughter) we saw Macy's Christmas shop all set up in malls! Yikes!

hang in there!

HoPo! Ha! Emily, that rocks... You & your daughter just added to my vocabulary.

And back to the shorts/short pants... um, hello? Little Lord Fauntleroy? Aren't you old enough to get long pants already???

An alternative is vintage clothing, either in actual shops, or on the web. I have had very good luck and very little problems in purchasing vintage clothes from the web. You just have to know your measurements.

Defective Yeti (http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/001797.html) has a suggestion to deal with this holiday spillover problem...
"Why don't we just make up a new holiday: Tomorroween. Tomorroween is the holiday which, regardless of the date, falls the day after today, the one where people exchange gifts, eat candy, send cards, drink alcohol, bake pumpkin pies, set off fireworks, plant trees, put colored lights on the eves of their house, wear costumes, buy roses for their loved one, and fly the flag. Stores could just have an aisle devoted to Tomorroween merchandise, and never have to rotate their stock; the guys who make M&Ms could stop changing the color of their candy every three months (black & orange in October, red & green in December, shades of pastel in March)."

Once, a long time ago, in a land not so very far away, I wore plaid walking shorts with wool knee high socks, loafers, and a shetland wool sweater. It was hip. It was the 80's. I was a size 6. And, yeah, it was sort of scary even then. (Shudder.)

The term "formal shorts" is an oxymoron. The people who designed and picked them to be the new style for fall are also(non-oxy)morons!

On the cover of December's Vogue: Dorf on Fashion!

I am cringing at the holidays. Aside from *not* having an endless supply of cash to Christmas shop, my local mall is doing MASSIVE renovations. For some reason they feel that more stores in which the higher tax bracket shoppers wouldn't blink at $250. for a cotton cardigan would be. But this cuts in to parking, and they have not made any alternative options for the would-be shopper.

As for the retail industry rushing the holidays...wtf? I'm only 30 years old, and 2006 has whizzed past me faster than my last real date, note to mention booty call. Dear God, when was the last time I had EITHER of those???

If you have a Kohl's near you, maybe you can find some decent season friendly, adult friendly clothing. Good luck!

Ooftah!! I saw the "Holiday Hookers" coming long before Halloween. (Check the upper storage shelves in any "large marketing enterprise".) I buy most of my best and most interesting garments from independent designers, thrift shops, Goodwill etc. When I want new undergarments I go to the usual vendors. If you need to binge shop - try an unusual and new source - Ross is good, also Value Village (if you have one, or its ilk) also - think basic - fabric, color, small accents. One simple wrap, scarf, accent, can transform a simple basic outfit. Sigh, I seriously doubt that anyone will read this. Thanks, Laurie, for giving me a safe place to express. And my best wishes always for those beautiful roommates; Roy (the Prince) Soba (the Dominatrix) Bob (the Clueless), Frankie (the Beautiful). Best thoughts from this home from Audie and her Sheldon-cat.

Can we also hear it for us short "woman size women" When I do find a button down shirt that closes over my boobage, the sleeves are down to my ankles. Whats up with that?

I wear a size 24. I buy basic shirts and sweaters from the Lands End catalog, sometimes Eddie Bauer catalog. All pants from Talbots' catalog (of all places!) but they fit me so they are worth the higher price. Fun stuff I get at Says Who in Oakland, CA.

Otherwise, I sew. I learned how to copy clothes that fit from the book "Patterns from finished clothes" by Tracy Doyle. Tricky, but easier than struggling to adjust commercial patterns.

I went to the mall today to get a watch repaired and I became very depressed while looking around. What is it about these places?

I think you touched a nerve here, CAP.

Mary

I have been avoiding pants & jeans for several years now. First, low-rise came out. I like the leg on these - a boot cut is flattering on all types - but I can't wear a low rise because I've had three babies. No one wants to see that hanging over the waistband, believe me. And I am not having a $7000 tummy tuck so that I can wear a 4" zipper.

So now, finally, higher waists are back, hooray! But what's this? The legs are pegged? Tight, straight legs?

The fashion industry hates us.

It is insane that Christmas decorations are already up... what ever happened to Thanksgiving???

yeah me again...

and despite my complaints about formal shorts, I did have some sort-of formal shorts with a matching top. It was ok and because not quite as formal as a suit, worked better. It was the only shorts I could wear to my office, which was pretty casual but my boss didn't allow shorts normally. They were bright purple, which sounds scary but is actually a good color on me. But I'm glad they are gone now.

another woman-sized-woman here. thank god for salvation army; if i try on a hundred items, i'm bound to find something that fits, isn't horribly tacky and best of all, costs 99 cents.

haha.....sing it!

It's almost time for the SPOT membership drive. We must save Thanksgiving!

My daughter who has a womanly shape had a terrible time with school uniform shirts which had to be worn, and the only way to make sure they were decent at the front was to buy them in the two-man tent size, and have several spare yards of shirt to tuck into her skirt. She looked like a galleon in full sail. When she left school we had a cermonial cutting-down of the shirts for polishing rags. And jolly good rags they are too!

Hee. Someone came by our door last night dressed as a Christmas Tree. I thought it quite fitting. ;)

AMEN

"women-sized-women"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bless your heart for saying it in your best living-the-truth-out-loud way. this is why we all love you.

I hadn't yet seen that shorts trend here in CT (but I acknowledge that I'm a major hermit and do not go to malls). Then, immediately after reading your post and snarling about the many atrocities, I was shopping at our local Wild Oats market and spotted a skinny lady wearing Les Shorts (black) over knee-length spandex bike shorts (also black). It was all I could do not to run over, tackle her, and wrestle her to the ground screaming, "NOOOOOOO!!! Do not accept and promote the shorts!"

Just came by to beg for a good, happy and cheerful November-o-scope.

Hello! I'm late in commenting but I saw Christmas stuff for sale in Costco.

IN SEPTEMBER.

As always, you are the best.

I vote for CAP to be a guest judge on Project Runway!

Ohhh, I just love your rant! Woman sized woman here, and I second your rant... LOUDLY! I understand all too well about cardis/blouses puckering at the boob buttons! One would like to think after all these yrs of style and such that SOME designer would be able to conquer this issue.
Ass o rific indeed! Shiny, glittery, baubles,god forsaken appliques??? Why oh why do they believe this is what we like to wear? By all means let's draw MORE attention to our size... hell why they are at it, why don't they add back up horns and lights!

Okay-
Would SOME ONE PLEASE get out the memo to the designers at large and let them know that all button-front woven-with-spandex shirts for women should only be sold with the button placket sewn SHUT below the third button and an invisible zipper in the side seam. That's the only damn way we can wear those things without looking sloppy

Also- I demand a new law that requires all models in magazines and on TV be chosen according to a strict "Is she within the healthy height/weight ratio for her frame" criteria, and that women of ALL SHAPES be represented--so none of us normal women feel like fat freaks and all the men will stop absorbing the subliminal message, "Anorexic =hot", Normal woman=fat pig.

I became a bit of a freak about staying within my healthy weight range after my work showed me seeing all the painful and humiliating ways being overweight can kill a person (diabetes, lose a leg, eye, dialysis, have to beg a sibling for a kidney or go into the demetia of kidney failure- Mmmmmmm fun!)

BUT- I'm NOT A SMALL WOMAN. 150 is THIN for me!! And I've got boobs and a butt and a man who loves them both, thanks. Now would SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE CLOTHES THAT FIT ME?????
Dammit.

Dude...you need to write a letter to the Avenue, Macy's, Lane Bryant...holy shit, how right you are..

AMEN!!!!!!!! No applique or sparkle - and certainly there is a law about formal shorts!!!!!!

Just have to add another "amen and amen." Who exactly are the buyers for plus-size departments and what exactly are they on, that these clothes seem like a good idea?