compact in LA means anything smaller than a jet liner!

compact in LA means anything smaller than a jet liner!

Gosh! I hate those Hummers!! Unattractive AND impractical! Yuck!!

OMG, too funny!

We call that "unclear on the concept"...

Looks somewhat like an oxymoron to me...somehow makes me think "jumbo shrimp"....

Maybe it's a mini dressed up for Halloween.

Those are the ones that keep dinging my doors.

I cannot look at that without thinking, "What an asshat!" And that's why I don't live in LA...

In the UK that would need a truk-driving licence. You could fit my car in that damn thing!

Spelling - sheesh! I meant "truCk"!

A guy in our office building drives the same vehicle. He undoubtedly calls it a "Hummer". My friends at work and I call it a "penis extender".

I LOVE how you blurred your jeep plates out but not the "compact" Hummer's. Heh heh. Something I so would do also....haha. It's warm in Alaska, well warmer than usual. I love reading your blog...you crack me up. Keep up the great work. Oh also, you mentioned only knitting in the round...something I like also. Knitting Pure and Simple, their patterns are mostly knit in the round. Anyhow have a great weekend!
Sharon

Heck, at least he (at least I'm assuming it's a he since I doubt a woman would try it) is fitting within the lines. Most of the time, those suckers don't even try and go ahead and take 2 spots. And never get ticketed, either.
You just gotta love L.A.

Did you watch "The Sweetest Thing"? Do you remember the song, "That's too big to fit in here!"?

Only in L.A? Ony *YOU*!!!!!

Have a great weekend :)

Oh. My. Word.

Sons-a-bitches!

Is that your cute (very compact) Jeep?

That is my Jeep, indeed, but this morning I put the windows back in because (gasp!) it *may* rain here. Sure other folks in the country are digging out under two feet of snow today. But people! It might sprinkle here!

We're on Storm Watch 2006. It's very exciting.

Unfortunately, NOT only in LA. People do that in Phoenix too. Still, methinks the Hummer is having an identity crisis.

LMAO! That is ridiculous - but somehow, I'm not surprised! But, most drivers of such things think that the world revolves around them anyway. So they obviously read it "compact or hummer".

I read somewhere - can't remember - a woman wrote that whenever she saw a Hummer she said "Sorry about the small penis, dude."

At least that one's close to fitting. As Diane said, they usually just take two spots. A couple weeks ago, I found these fake parking tickets in Target's One Spot that chew out the person taking up extra parking spaces. No real effect on the offender, I'm sure, but amusing.

His bumper sticker should read, "If my penis weren't so small, I wouldn't need such a big vehicle." I had a friend that had stickers reading that printed up and she went around in a huge parking lot sticking them on big ass trucks. That was, of course, before all the soccer moms started driving Escalades and Suburbans. You know, the olden days.

And another thing - on the taking up two parking spaces topic - I live in Marin County (Sean Penn's Marin County) where every other car is a Prius (which is great). I was in a parking lot the other day, and a damned Prius was taking up TWO parking spaces in a VERY full parking lot. So, I left a note: "Getting 55+ MPG does NOT entitle you to TWO parking spaces, by the way. And no, I don't drive an SUV." Lame, I know, but I felt much better about being aced out of a good spot and having to drive around and around (burning gas, btw) looking for another spot.

It's everywhere! I found it in the parking garages in Charleston and it's here when I park for work. I always thought SUVs should have their own parking lots, so they don't ding our doors... all my door dings are high up on my door so they've got to be from SUVs.

It's in Houston, too, along with the giant 4-door extended bed 4-wheel drive pickups, which will also park wherever they please and feel no shame at all. After all, those drivers KNOW they are better than everyone else. The sales person told them so.

Hope he didn't ding your doors!

Oh my. I didn't realize people were still buying those monstrosities.

We are expecting rain as well. They are breaking out the "Storm Chaser" because apparently we need to chase the rain around TX. Heeee.

My gut reaction when I see that is, "what an a$$hole". Of course, compact cars are an endangered species. Take it from someone who drives a Corolla and can't see around 90% of what's on the road these days....

I know a girl who actually paid for 2 spaces in a parking garage in Manhattan for her Hummer! I guess that's a responsible thing to do, but driving a smaller car would be a whole lot more economical and practical! My Honda Accord fits nicely in most parking spaces...though I do put my "mid-size" in compact spots sometimes...Sorry...

Yeah, see those around Dallas/Fort Worth area, too! I think they look cool but I wouldn't buy one even if I could afford it. It's just not *me*. But sheesh! Parking it in a compact space? The nerve!

let's sneak over and put a bumper sticker on it that says...."I'm changing the enviroment!"
(too bad there are so many security cameras these days )

What about the a$$ who has the parking space next to me (at home), drives a teeny lexis, and for the life of him can't figure out how to NOT cross the damned line??

I thought about putting the roof up this morning, but as it was not raining *at that very minute*, I didn't. :) Hope its not raining when I head home!!!

Unfortunatly, not just in L.A. They do it here in San Diego and I've seen it happen in every place I've been lately. I'm afraid that L.A., even all of Southern California, does not have a monopoly on idiots, in spite of what some people in other states would like to believe. (Has anyone else had the experience of telling someone that you are a vegetarian, fiber artist from So. Cal. and have them treat you as if you're a dangerous maniac? I did in Florida at a theme park.)

When I was driving a crew-cab duelly, I was very careful about where I parked. By the way, I didn't drive that monster out of choice but because we needed it to pull the horse trailer (while containing a family of 4) and I drove fewer miles a week since I was the only family member who didn't have a job outside the home. Sadly, the horses died a few years ago but happily I now drive a Honda.

Oh no...that happens everywhere. Back here in Massachusetts, I see people park their Hummers anywhere they damn well please, even if it takes up 2 or 3 parking spaces!

Maybe it's an H3. (one could argue that it's "the compact Hummer")

As someone else observed, at least they did a decent job of parking it between the lines. A woman at our daycare has a gargantuan pick-up truck that is too long to fit into a regular spot back-to-front, so she parallel parks it across 4 (yes, 4!!!) spaces.

Around these parts we call them 'Dummers' :)

He probably has a handicapped sticker too.

HAAA.

Must be an ILLITERATE penis in addition to being environmentally irresponsible.

I always thought the compact spaces were alerting drivers that those are smaller than normal spots -not some special reserved area like a handicapped spot. As long as you fit in the lines, who cares if your car is compact or not? Where I used to live in Florida, the police would ticket your car at the mall if one tire was even touching the white line, never mind over it. The lot was always pretty empty anyway - just another way to increase revenue I guess.

Yikes! If they ticked non-compact cars here in marked spaces, everyone at my place of work would be ticketed every day in a ten-floor parking garage! LOL ... it's all big Expeditions and Lincoln Navigators in spaces marked "compact."

But, in the interest of not burning in H-E-double-hockey-sticks for being a big old hypocrite, I don't think my Jeep is considered a "compact" car at all either because ... well, it's a Jeep. Although once I measured my car from end-to-end widthwise and it was actually a little bit compact-er than a Honda Civic!

My Jeep is like a little box, it's also very short, and it fits well inside the lines but it's no one's idea of compact, I wouldn't think. Until you try to squeeze in the back seat, that is!! Then you know all about COMPACT!

It takes a big man with a little mind to park a big car into a little spot.

I'm not against big-ass Hummers. Although it would be better if they floated. After all that crap they release into the atmosphere melts the polar ice caps, I'm sure the small-minded owners will wish they floated too.

Okay, that's my polital/environmental soapbox rant for today. You can all wake up now.

Love ya, Laurie! (And a blonde behind the wheel of a Jeep is just plain HOT!)

I once saw a Hummer trying to get into a parking structure and have it scrape the roof said vehicle with the clearance bar. The driver persisted in parking her vehicle in a tiny spot even though her roof was being scraped, but she did manage to somehow make it fit, much to the astonishment of all the onlookers. It took her quite awhile and a lot of cars were backed up in the meanwhile. I sure wish I had a camera that day.

Why is it that folks that buy such pretentious vehicles feel the need to buy them in such BRIGHT colors (why always the bright yellow?). It's not like the rest of us can miss those on the road anyway! JEBUS!

Well, it is a "small" Hummer, LOL!

I actually saw some in Paris and Florence. It was weird....a Hummer attempting to get down a narrow European street is quite a sight.

I call it the Screaming Yellow Zonker...the color, that is.

. . . also in Boston. Unfortunately.

I'm no environmentalist, but I HATE Hummers. It's ironic that when I lived in flat, flat Texas they were EVERYWHERE, but now, living in mountainous Colorado, only a few people have them. Here they actually have a legitimate reason for an SUV but they drive Honda Civics. (I love living here)

I'm going to come out with a line of business cards, like they used to have in the 70's for lounge lizards. I could leave them on cars that were driven by idiots. I also want a big sign that I can hold up that says "hang up and drive" and "evird dna pu gnah" for the rear view mirror.

I was going to ask in what world 'compact' meant 'Hummer', but the answer is right before my eyes. *sigh* I'm just give to give up and await the nuclear holocaust, after which all those oversized SUVs will be driven by cockroaches eating Twinkies.

I think the compact spots need to be smaller. In Ontario they have micro parking spots - small enough for a smart car or a motorcycle and that is it. I have tiny car and I could easily fit into that compact spot but not in a micro.
A parking ticket fake or real needs to be given to that driver
http://www.stayfreemagazine.org/suv/
I have seen others (non NYPD) but can't find them right now.
Teresa

No, not only in LA. Last week I saw a Hummer parked over two *handicapped* spots in front of Trader Joe's... in Wilmington, DE.

Wait! You mean they DON'T own the road??

Sadly, not only in LA. This inability to ?read? is also prevalent in Vancouver. Or hey - maybe it's the SAME PEOPLE who come up here for work?!?!

Migrant bad-parkers. Now there's a valid border security issue.

It's times like this I wish I carried with me one of those big markers for writing on glass, so I could write "ASSHOLE" on the driver's side window.

If only the owner realized how absurd that looks. My personal theory is that men who drive big trucks are trying to compensate for tiny di*ks!

Ummmmm, no, it happens in Las Vegas all the dang time. Ugggggg, I hate people!

I love how he didn't get your usual "protection of the innocent" blur on the plate. Hummers are one of the things America is doing to screw up the rest of the world.

I never got the whole Hummer thing. If he wants to drive one of those ugly things, why didn't he just slap on some cahonies and join the army? Of course maybe he did try, but he couldn't read well enough to fill out the forms. Idiot.

What did yo expect, after all they'reriding the short bus.

Nope, sorry there are asshole drivers (parkers?) everywhere.

Lovin' it! Reminds me of the time I had to park in a compact space at the bank's underground parking, and was so close to the storage door that I had to climb out the passenger door. We do what we must...

It's a California thing. Even here in the Bay Area, folks insist upon squeezing some behomoth of a vehicle into what is supposed to be a compact space. Really gets me when they end up actually taking up two spaces and then I am forced to hike from some remote place. *sigh*

Not only in L.A. - I think anywhere. I've seen big ol' rigs in compact spaces in and around the D.C. area.

Though perhaps only in L.A. is the 'compact' space actually big enough to fit a Hummer!

Sadly, the folk up in Sacramento are no better. I'm constantly amazed at how many Hummers I see on the road. What, does gas have to cost $15.00 a gallon before people start to think clearly??

And the (always!) male driver is usually a putz -- weaving in & out of his lane, talking on his cell phone while he drives, and/or blasting obnoxious music while he cruises because, y'all, this is how he rolls.

The worst Hummer that I've seen was downtown a couple of weeks ago. It was blinged out to the nth degree - spinner rims (huge! chrome! tiny tires!), chrome trim everywhere, tinted windows, jet black paint job. It had obviously just been detailed, because it was spotless. And inside were four guys in their early 20's with the stereo turned up all the way, bass on high (because if your intestines aren't vibrating, it's not *real music*), with the windows rolled down so their rap music bombarded everyone downtown in the middle of RUSH HOUR....trying to flirt with girls in other cars as they passed.

Thankfully, the women totally ignored 'em. Just count on us to clear out the gene pool!

Unfortunately, Seattle, too. :(

Yes, that picture says it all. That place looks familar....were you in burbank?

Actually, it happens in Vancouver too. LA is not THAT special :>

Of course, we are Hollywood North. Do you think that's the link?

should've keyed "compact" into his paintjob

We have the SAME nonsense going on up here in Northern California - LOL!

I drive a VW Golf. I get close to 50 MPG. Those damn Hummers are always trying to back over me because the drivers can't SEE what's behind them.

Of course, in New Orleans, the Parking Goddess has her vengenace because Hummers just DON'T FIT in most parking spots in the French Quarter. Hardy har har.

I HATE HUMMERS. They are the most garish symbol of American waste.

Do you know the difference between a Hummer and an elephant? With an elephant, the asshole is on the OUTSIDE.

Am I the only one here who is NOT assuming that the person parking this giganto thing is a man?

Girls can be idiots, too...

Could it be one of Sobakowa's minions, out... doing whatever it is minions do? Because I think Soba would drive a Hummer if she wanted to, and she'd park it wherever she darn well pleased, and let her minions do the same.

I mean don't you think the general attitude of people like this is a lot like Soba's?

No, Shelly, you are not alone. In cities like Walnut Creek one usually assumes that the huge vehicle is being driven by a woman.

Nah, we've go those morons in Seattle, too.

Hmmm, we got a Hummer out here in the wilds of Federal Way that is always parked in the corner lot of the Rite-Aid... I wonder if the spouse/partner has forbidden it to be parked anywhere near the drivers house due to the embarrassment factor... :-)

CA

Nah, you see that in Colorado too! Along with the long bed truck sticking way out of the space. When I had my long bed truck I was careful to back into a space at the back or along the edges of the lot so the excess bed hung over the grass rather than into another space (I hate people who take up more than one space!!) or out in the aisle.

Awesome photo. Just, just . . .awesome.

Nope, not only in Los Angeles, in San Francisco too. What the hell did I buy a prius for, if hummers are compact too??

LMAO. And so's everyone else in my house.

BTW - could it be considered a "compact" if it's a H3? I mean it is smaller than the H or even the H2, right?????? I bet that's the logic the driver used when parking it......

it had to be that hideous color yellow, too. i wonder why the individual who drives that has such low self esteem? i really really really hate those cars. they epitomize everything that is wrong with this country.

Hey, In SoCal all is fair in love and parking! A parking space is gold and if you can get your vehicle in there, it's yours. Now as to why you'd buy one of those? I can't say. I've seen a bubble gum pink HumVee driving on my streets with the plates "BoyToy" on the back. A young man was driving it. So I wouldn't say the motivation is exclusively hetero-macho-male-tiny-penis-compensation. I see more women driving them in my town than men. Oh dear, would Freud have something to say about that then? Something to prove, ladies? All assumptions really are meaningless, as we cannot guess the hearts of others and the hows and whys of their consumerist expressions.

Once I slashed the tires of a Hummer that was parked next to a handicap spot, but it's ass was so huge that it took up both the spot it was in and the handicap spot.

People need that spot, dang it!!

heh - that photo op was a great opportunity for a shot for this site: http://fuh2.com/

Go check it out!

A friend of mine made up business cards that say: "The only thing compact about this car is the driver's brain". She leaves them on monster vehicles that are in compact spots. She's on her 10th printing. SIGH.

Nope, not only in LA. They're in San Diego, too.

I see it all the time at work. In back, where everyone prefers to park, all the spaces are "compact". But I'd be willing to bet that there are more Expeditions, "mini"vans, F350's and Durango's than "compact" cars.

I am always annoyed beyond words when I see these big cars taking up the compact spaces in LA! I want to give them a ticket! I am so glad you took a picture!! Yay!!!

Jeez Louise. I have a bumper sticker that I've been waiting to put on a car like that. It says, "I'm changing the climate -- ask me how!!" If you want that bumper sticker, I'll be glad to send it to ya.

Oh, so that is what that song, "I like big butts" was all about -- Hummers!

Could we call that urban assault vehicle(UAV) a "compactonator"? Jokes aside,I know that even though Gov. Arnie does (or did) own a hummer or two (or how many), he has put forth some legislation regarding pollution and related issues that can be an example for many other states to consider. My home state, Oregon, is linked to Calif. in so many important ways - after all - some folks refer to the Pacific coast from Cal. to B.C as "Cascadia". And so, my love to the wonderful felines, Sir Roy, MZ Soba, Frankie Fab/Face, and Bob-who-may-have anchors in deep space. It's cool, Bob, I've been 'accused' as well, Something tells me you are a Gemini or an air-head. Live long and drool on good red wine (oh, hold on, let your Meow-ma do that)

They do that in Whistler, too - a town where everything is connected by bike paths, and it takes 5-15 minutes to walk anywhere. I think it's a conspicuous wealth thing - I can't imagine a practical reason for them, particularly when they are invariably polished to a high gloss.

Yeah, this photo is really funny. I am touring round Europe at the moment and the big thing here is owning a smart car. I thought they were a joke when I first saw one... but no... after seeing how they fit into tiny little parking spaces and thinking of the amount of money they must save in petrol I am now starting to see that there may be some wisdom after all.

Smart Cars are great! Too bad they don't sell them here....

I just skipped like 100 comments, sorry!

It's not just in LA, but in Austin too. Swear to god I'm going to have custom post-its made that say "this is not a compact car" so I can put them on SUVs parked in compact spots.

Also, I love Smart cars but even my Beetle nearly gets me killed a few times a week. In a Smart car it would really be dangerous!

Sadly enough, this is also a phenomenon in colorado springs. It was always enough to make me long for the strange ad campaign that was going around when we first moved there. The campaign slogan was "Would Jesus have driven an SUV?"

Your observations are hilarious!

I have printed cards (business card sized cards) that say, "Nice park job." I put them under windshield wipers. Sometimes I hand write "asshole" on them.

After reading though all the comments on this site, I have come to a few conclusions. But first, my reaction to what brought us all together. People parking in smaller spaces is a byproduct of companies wanting to fit as many parking spaces into a small lot as possible. This is a growing problem here in Minnesota. You would think that with the bulk of vehicle purchases being of the greater than 2 ton variety, builders would realize that, and not design entire parking lots with spaces only suitable for cars. That being said, here are my other observations (to kate, you stole some of my thunder, but your points merit repeating):

1) There sure seems to be a lot of man-hating on here.

2) I suppose making the assumption that a male has to be compensating for something is payback for the decades of (true) blonde jokes?

3) For the people that whine about almost getting backed over: You idiot, if you can't see a mirror of the truck/suv in front of you, they can't see you. It's the same thing as with a semi truck and their blind spots. You're stupid for putting yourself in position to be backed over. It's called personal accountability people.

4) For the people complaining about the size of trucks/suvs in general: There is a good reason that they sell so well.......THEY'RE SAFER!

5) All you environmentalists who yell at people for buying large vehicles......eff off. Seriously, some of us need larger vehicles, be it for work or for recreation.

6) And finally, for all you people who joke about damaging a vehicle for not parking correctly, or for just owning a truck/suv: If you get caught doing it, and have the snot beat out of you, just know that you asked for it.