if you didn`t have a good heart,you wouldn`t get any joy from visiting your gram and the others...it would be a chore...

so true, so true. great post.

Rained . . . was cold . . . maybe you need to knit something!

If you were not a nice person you would bitch and complain about having to go to the nursing home (which a certain ex-bf used to do). You enjoy going, and whether or not you get any enjoyment out of it doesn't matter if you bring joy to the people there. The fact that you are getting something out of it too makes it that much better. You are a good kind person and don't forget it!

I think that distance does make the heart grow fonder - I enjoy talking to and visiting my family so much more now that I love 100 miles away than I ever did when I was living in the same town. Even though it really shouldn't it does somehow make it more special to share things with them. (Now does that make *me* a bad person?)

you so do NOT have a selfish and shrively heart! no way, no how!! you're a better person than most--you actually WANT to go, and you spread your cheer around. i fail to see what's selfish about that!

have fun chit-chatting :)

I think your heart is as shrivelly as mine. Bitter and twisted, that's us.

Well, twisted.

Sweetie, whatever makes you do it, the doing makes you a good person. And, yes, absence made my heart grow fonder for my family, too - I've lived far away from them most of my adult life, and the older I get, the more I want to be with them...

You are a fine example of a human bein', dearie. Those folks at the care facility are genuinely enjoying your bubbly, sweet self. I know whereof I speak, being a medical person for 20 years. People dress up for visits to the office where I work as it is the high point of their day! And we of bubbly spirits work to keep it a high point, dont 'cha know.

Rock on, Aunt Purl. There's a square for your dear grandma's blankie coming from my part of AZ, and it's got a strong resemblance to saguaro ribs (sans spines).

Lovelovelove the blog and loveloveuberlove the kitties. And stop being so damn worried about yer forehead. It encases some day-um fine grey matter, missy!

An interesting debate--whether or not real altruism exists--but I'll offer my own opinion. I don't think that doing something you hate is intrinsically more good than doing something you enjoy. If that were the case, I'd get major good person points every time I fold the laundry. And, maybe more people would do good things if they didn't think they had to hate it for it to be good, you know? Enjoy the lovely people at the convalescent home, and know that they enjoy you all the more because you want to be there.

Yeah! You!! I used to work as an art therapist in a day program for people with AIDS - mostly homeless. Honest to God, it was totally fun and I loved it. So I feel your happy visit energy.

I am so missing my mom right now and I know that part of it is that she lives in Texas and I am far away in California. Have a great visit.

I love it when people hang on all the weird things that come out of my mouth and think I am clever, funny and great to have around too. Makes me feel all happy and warm when that happens.

I hope you have a great time with your Mother.

"We all have our stories...Just need someone to tell them to." Honey, that's the whole heart and soul of it. You can't give those folks any greater gift than simple enjoyment of their company and a little human give and take.

You are wonderful! I worked in a retirement community for 5 years and the residents loved having someone to talk to. I bet you are the highlight of many of their days.
Cathy

I know this sounds goofy and cheesy but the world would be a better place if more people had "selfish and shrivelly hearts" like yours. I'm glad your mama is coming to visit.

Well if your heart is "selfish and shrivelly" I think mine (and many million others) have turned to dust.

I'm also starting to understand that a night (or more) alone is not a terrible thing. I see them as nights I don't have to share my wine bottle. ;) But sharing is just as sweet.

Have a lovely time with your mom and g-ma.

have you thought about a career in nursing? You would be a hilarious awesome nurse. humor is the best medicine, or something like that. You can pretty much have any schedule you want as a nurse, and it's certainly a secure job. I'm an operating room nurse, so mostly I "nurse" (or placate as it may be) the surgeons. But during down time I can knit in the staff lounge.
There are always people out there who need a little TLC and I think you would be great at it.

If you were selfish you would hate going.

When I was a kid my Dad had an extra job, part-time three nights a week, as the evening office manager at a nursing home. I used to LOVE going with him and visiting all the old people.

No, no, NO, holy $h%t!

You do NOT have a shrivelly heart. And I envy it, cholesterol encased or not.

I have done volunteer work visiting nursing homes, alone and with therapy animals. And I found it exhausting & wrenching--I got angry about the family who didn't visit, the nurses who said, "Oh, she always says she needs to get up to the bathroom, I'll be there inna minute." I didn't enjoy it, but I felt it was necessary. I was angry and indignant about my own grandmother dying slowly and painfully at her own home, a hideous luxury most never know. (Indignant because she begged us to end her suffering and we didn't.) I'm glad you enjoy it; I know that true happiness spreads and that it is as infectious as staph, and I am so relieved I don't go anymore. ;)

I had a highschool Spanish teacher once who believed that no deed was a selfless one. He thought that we all do the nice things we do for others for the warm-fuzzies it gives us inside. Innocent as I was back then, I thought he was nuts and way too cynical. Now, I'm not too sure he's wrong.

I've also realized that it really doesn't matter why we do nice things for others. What matters is that we do them. They are what gives us our humanity. Both the giver and the receiver are made better for it. So, just have your fun and let the happiness be shared. They need it, and so do you. It's a win-win situation.

Incidentally, it seems to me that you could just continue to go when your grandmother is better and no longer there. The other people there would be thrilled to know they're so important in your life that you continue to come visit even when you don't have your grandmother to see there.

You and I are roughly the same age and I feel the same way about my faraway family. I get ridiculously sentimental after talking to my dad. Savor every minute with your folks and your grams.

People in convalescent homes need to be flirted with, chatted up and loved on as much--if not more--than the rest of us. Good for you for helping them remembering they are worth being loved.

Laurie, I think you have some New England Puritan blood in you after all. My dad talks about the New England Patent Medicine Syndrome, to wit, it isn't good for you if it doesn't taste bad. Likewise, we tend to think, it's not a mitzvah if you enjoy doing it. Not true at all! It all counts. (Sometime I'll tell you how I know this.) Enjoy your visits, talk, carry on, and feel good.

It reminds me of the airline advice to see to your own oxygen mask before trying to help others. I think you also have to see to your own happiness before you can see to others. In your case, carrying on in the nursing home is good for everyone. So I don't think your heart is selfish, you just need your oxygen first.

The fact that you enjoy it simply proves how big and warm and lovely your heart is. And your obvious joy makes it that much more wonderful for those you go and visit.

S'all good, darlin'.

Love you Laurie. You're not selfish, you're gifted.

A career working in nursing homes, bringing at least some small measure of joy to folks who cannot care for themselves....you would be fabulous at that. There are a lot of different jobs in nursing homes. It certainly is something to explore, and folks living in nursing homes really need people like you.

As someone else already said, it's what you DO, not why you do it that is important. And balance, too, is crucial. How did you get so wise at such a tender age? (Other than all the pain and suffering, I mean.) :)

I noticed from the get-go that you make people better writers somehow. In that same vein, I am sure you make people funnier and warmer people.

I love it when you make a weeken post! What a treat!

I think you have a big heart. I love the 'older' generation also. It's okay if you do something and feel good about something you're doing that is nice. It doesn't defeat the purpose of doing something, it just makes it rewarding (to the people that are genuine).

I consider myself a big flirt--not in a sexual way, but I'm just a little silly and I like to tease people (not maliciously). So if it's my 97 year old friend Millie, or a work crush, it's just fun.

Dude, go for it. Loads ofpeople with like Zero training work as actvities director in nursing/convalesent homes. I think you need you cpr. If you enjoy it and you seem to have a knack for it go hard.

I love how you are so close with your parents. My mom is my best friend and I realize more and more how lucky I am to be able to say that. Maybe that's one reason why I (heart) the Gilmore Girls too!

Welcome to the human race, where people need people. (Sing it, Barbra).

I envy that your mom is still young and healthy and sharp -- mine is slowly losing her marbles, so it's been ages since we've had a real conversation. I miss that. Revel in these times together with your mom and grandma, and for God's sake, don't feel guilty for sharing the love! And remember that you are blessing others as much as you're being blessed by them. That's the beauty of the human condition.

Keep spreading the Joy, you are very good at it.

I really enjoyed this post. And I'm with Krista: keep going to the convalescent home, even once your grandmother is better and back in her own place. I'm sure the people there love visiting with you and you are obviously getting a lot of enjoyment of it yourself.

Mutual benefit. There couldn't be anything bad about that.

They love you because you treat them like people. Not old, sick, cant-get-out-of-the-wheelchair people. You treat them like office mates by bringing in Halloween bags and chit chatting away. You make them forget they are old. That is priceless.

People in nursing homes LOVE magazines. I take my hubby's old hunting and fishing mags up to my papaw's nursing home and the old men LOVE them. I even take a few Glamour issues for the ladies. They love it!

I'm quite happy to admit that my mom lives 3 miles away and it's a rare day that I don't see her. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Reading that post makes me soooo glad I bit the bullet and left The South for the midwest. I love living back near my folks and it does make me a little bit happy everytime I drive into the old neighborhood. It wasn't a promotion, I miss Charleston dearly, but *sigh* it's home and there's really no place like it. Although, maybe get back to me in February and see how I'm liking it then.

Am I the only one who is so nosey that I must ask..... WHO WERE YOU SITTING ON THE PATIO WITH!?!?!?!

Laurie, you are such a dear, sweet girl. Thank you for putting your True Self out there like I could never have the guts to do. Thanks for inspiring me to take up knitting, too. :)

Laurie, you are a blessing to your gramma and her nursing home buddies and doing them more good than you can ever know. I miss my elderly neighbour so much, she thought I was being a help to her, but being with her was a blessing to me, she was just great. And I'm always pleased to spend an evening with my daughter, I miss her when she's gone more than a day.