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September 11, 2006

Good morning!

So I wasn't going to write anything today, because what do you say? And also, have I mentioned I was away from work for many, many days and now I have literally a pile of paper almost as large as my whole DESK waiting for me? Hello, work!

But. I had a very awkward patriotic-related incident in the breakroom. And ya'll it is only nine a.m., think of the possibilities this day holds.

It started out innocently enough. This morning when I came into the building the security staff was handing out little Lance-Armstrong-ish rubber bracelets, only these are blue with white stars and there's a little panel of red and white stripes on one side. The bracelets must be one-size-fits-all, "all" being a relative term for "giant huge tree-trunk wristed people" but I am not complaining, I love free patriotic bracelets! I put it on my wrist and came up to my office and placed my handbag on the floor and almost fell over from just looking at the large pile of stuff/brochures/memos/etc. on my desk, and I thought to myself, "I should begin attacking this pile of work!" Then my true more slovenly nature kicked in, because I immediately said out loud to no one in particular, "I should get coffee first! For fortification!"

And I poked my head into my co-worker's office next door to see if he wanted some coffee, too, and he was putting on an American flag pin.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" I asked.

"It was on my desk, you should have one too," he said.

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY DESK?" I asked, politely as one can while still conveying ABJECT HORROR.

So we looked all over my desk and finally discovered a flag pin beneath three United Way contribution forms and a last Wednesday's Wall Street Journal. I KILL TREES, PEOPLE. But, still, so exciting! Like a treasure hunt, and we found a flag at the end of a multi-colored paper rainbow (half of which is now on the floor, I might add.)

Finally, with all my patriotism I could GO GET SOME DAMN COFFEE.

So Co-Worker and I go to the breakroom, where we chitchat and so on and I am maybe perhaps talking and not paying attention as I am getting the little individual half-and-halfs out of the bottom fridge drawer (why do they store it there? workplace mystery!) and somehow my patriotic bracelet got caught on something and I was, like, attached to the refrigerator by my arm, and yet I just yammered on, as is my way, one arm immobilized by something inside the fridge, and Co-Worker finally said, "Are you OK?"

"I think I am attached to something." Pause. Whimper. "I am so far from the coffee!"

I couldn't see where I was tangled up exactly, so Co-Worker came to investigate and I moved closer to the door which is when my shirt, with my patriotic metal magnetic flag pin became attached to the refrigerator door and CoWorker began laughing at me and ran back to his office to get the digital camera BECAUSE OH YEAH THIS IS SO FUNNY, and luckily some nice lady from the lending department freed my arm before he could return. Also, it was COLD standing inside the fridge at 8 a.m. So I drank the last cup of coffee and left none for Co-Worker.

And that is my morning so far! And the day is still so young! I have my patriotic gear intact, and I have been freed from the refrigerator, and I have coffee.

But I do plan to avoid all major appliances for the rest of the day.

Posted by laurie at September 11, 2006 8:48 AM