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September 26, 2006

All the news that's fit to be online

TSA Memo Bans Reptiles On Aircraft Without Ziploc Baggie
The TSA has "relaxed" the rules about the explosive Vanilla Bean Bath & Body Works hand lotion you can bring on an airplane ... but it has to be in a ziploc baggie. If your toiletries are not in a baggie, you have to throw them away. Apparently the baggie is what stands between us and terror.

I feel safer, and also happier. Because if I travel I can now take on board with me The Chapstick That Did Not Combust as well as my Contact Solution Without Dynamite! I love air travel. It's so logical, and also fun.

Remember when getting to the airport and sitting at the gate with your friend/family/boyfriend was still part of the happy travel experience? You'd watch people coming and going, wonder where they were from, double-check your cute carry on bag, adjust you outfit. It was all part of the trip. Now we have to watch out for people lighting their deodorant on fire. We live in a crazy world, ya'll.

Cops Say Peeping Tomette Caught In Knitting Spot
Thanks for all the pictures! Tonight I'm going to figure out how to display them all, I love it. Nothing beats the innernets for pure voyeurism.

Congress Says Panties Shortage Linked To Laundry Initiative
Today I will work, and do my job to the best of my ability, and luckily it's warm because I am undies al fresco. It's not as gross as it sounds since I'm wearing spanx under my trousers. I haven't done laundry in so long that I officially ran out of underwear. Even the butt-floss and desperation panties are gone. That means it is undeniably time to launder. Or shop. Which will win? Film footage at eleven!

Man Lets Little Brain Override Big One
My new motto is "Better Luck in 2007!" See ya next year, dating! LYLAS! Maybe after we finish my grandma's blanket we can start knitting nice men to date? What do ya'll think? A good worsted-weight cotton? Superwash merino? Hemp for the college girls? Maybe a nice alpaca in multicolors? Surely there's a knitalong we can join.

And when we're done, we'll just put him in a Ziploc for carry-on purposes. You know they're making them ziplocs in pretty big sizes now. I'm just saying is all.

Posted by laurie at September 26, 2006 9:41 AM