A ziploc is a good place for them! At least I will know where to find him when I need him! Where is the pattern?

ROFLMAO! You are so funny...ever think of doing Stand up?

I can't believe you made it through even the bad panties. That is AWESOME.

BFF
SWAK
xoxo
Have a bitchin' summer!

Your stend,
Jen

Hemp for the college girls? In a Ziploc.
HE HE

Send your laundry over, I'll help do a load for your panties (coworkers) sake.

You hit it spot on with your summary of the TSA.

Did you know, when the ban was in effect, you couldn't bring toothpaste or hair gel on board, but you could bring in up to 4 oz of PERSONAL LUBRICANT?

(Yes, it's what you think it is.)

Well, June, DUH. I mean you need that 4 oz. of personal lubricant for entry to the mile-high club! And the TSA *KNOWS* that the terrorists don't want to be in that club. There are statistics on it in a database somewhere.

I mean really, it's just logic is all.

heh ;)

oh my - I just told my son that girls can tell when you don't change your underwear everyday; and if you don't girls won't kiss you. Now I have to warn him to watch out for ziploc bags ;) Of course he's only 14 so there may still be some home...sigh.....

Remember when we were little and your friends/relatives/significant others could actually meet you at the gate when you were coming home from an extended trip away - - airports have taken all the romance out of travel....

oh my - I just told my son that girls can tell when you don't change your underwear everyday; and if you don't girls won't kiss you. Now I have to warn him to watch out for ziploc bags ;) Of course he's only 14 so there may still be some hope...sigh.....

Remember when we were little and your friends/relatives/significant others could actually meet you at the gate when you were coming home from an extended trip away - - airports have taken all the romance out of travel....

Love those Spanx!

Spanx rock... Oprah says that's all she wears now. And if Oprah says it's good, it must be so :)

I can't keep up with the TSA's convoluted rules. But I did rejoice when I heard that we can now bring on beverages purchased after going through security. So, do we have to show our receipts at the gate?

Your laundry predicament reminds me of mine last week -- while washing all my towels the washer leaked everywhere and there were, of course, no dry towels to sop up the water all over the floor. So typical of my life. If you're anything like me, I'm guessing there will be new undies in your immediate future. And a boatload of laundry to do this weekend.

Don't give up on dating. I do think you need to share more of those funny stories, though.... :-)

okay, wait. I'm at work and I'm sorely afraid of googling spanx and getting caught doing (what? I don't even know--that's why I'd be googling--duh).

Please tell what they is----pretty please?

I was sure you were kidding about the bag... but no. Your government at work.

What the hell are spanx? Do I want to know?

Laundry is my life. Would you like a picture of my clothesline? Yes, I am possibly the last mad housewife in America actually to deploy and use one.

Suzie... you know the top part of control-top pantyhose? That's kind of like what these are. They're called "power panties" and they make you a little skinnier under your clothes. Plus, no VPLs! (Says the girl with no possible VPLs since there are no actual visible panties in the drawer).

Be careful, or the next thing could very well be "a dainty knickers for Laurie" knit-along.
(Uh, I came out of lurker.mode, all of a sudden, all unexpectedly)
Also wondering about the spanx....

The girl who invented Spanx is from FL. She is my hero

Darlin' after all the shit I've been through with my ex-husbands (yes, that's meant to be plural), my knitted man is out of 100% cashmere.

Shopping. Then you'll have more panties for next time.

Ya know, a nice worsted weight baby alpaca in a color that goes well with my complexion kind of boy would be a very nice thing. I'll even buy him those fancy zip bags if he's good.

UNDIE Shopping - Fun! Fun! Fun! (Seriously I can't buy them if someone has already been pawing through them.... even my cat!)

Hmmm, that's a LOT of lubricant.
If it is the pina colada-flavoured kind it could probably double as a drink/snack sort of thing, though.
No that I know any of such things...

Hmmm, that's a LOT of lubricant.
If it is the pina colada-flavoured kind it could probably double as a drink/snack sort of thing, though.
Not that I know any of such things...

Yeah, personal lube....you gotta wonder whose idea that was. Brilliant!

Spanx = footless hosiery that can be worn to eliminate the evil known as the panty line.

Men definitely need to be washable. So, cotton or superwash is the way to go.

Apparently, the Ziploc bags are to air travel what Tylenol and neosporin are to mothers everywhere. Who's mother is now in charge of the TSA?

P.S. 200 knitters have signed up to knit for your grandmother. We may have enough squares to knit you a man!

Thank you for the smile.

What does LYLAS stand for?

Oh my...thank goodness for Spanx.

I hate laundry but it is a necessary evil!

Good luck with knitting a man!

I think you have something with that knit-a-man thing. It would work like Secret Pal, but instead of listing your favorite colors, yarns, etc. you'd list all the qualities your dream man would have. Blonde or dark? Suit or surf board? Big heart or bad boy? And when it's over your dream man appears in the mail, ready be used as visual aid, to lay on your pillow, or perhaps in a voodoo ritual. Could be pretty cool....

And then if you didn't like your knitted man, you could frog him and knit a new one. I guess all men are WIPs anyway.

I was in a similar laundry predicament a few weeks ago, and shopping won out! They have a line of Spanx at Target now, so I am intrigued. (Bargain shopping is always intriguing!)

As for a man knit-a-long...amigurimi anyone? Follow this link to crochet your very own Pirate man... http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/dread-pirate-sam/

I haven't seen any knit men, but I'm sure they're out there!

(And I sent 2 squares for your Grandma's blanket to Kristy on Saturday - if you want to see, there are pics up on my latest blog post)

I was in a similar laundry predicament a few weeks ago, and shopping won out! They have a line of Spanx at Target now, so I am intrigued. (Bargain shopping is always intriguing!)

As for a man knit-a-long...amigurimi anyone? Follow this link to crochet your very own Pirate man... http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/dread-pirate-sam/

I haven't seen any knit men, but I'm sure they're out there!

(And I sent 2 squares for your Grandma's blanket to Kristy on Saturday - if you want to see, there are pics up on my latest blog post)

Knit a MAN? Uh - nope! I'm SO over trying to FIND, STUMBLE UPON, OR EVEN CREATE one for myself. But hey! I may consider knitting (or crocheting) something akin to mosquito netting to keep one AWAY! I'll add a kitty-flap just big enough for a full-grown cat, but too small for ANY guy! Me? Jaded? I say it's like baseball - 3 strikes - you're OUT! LOL!

LYLAS: love you like a sister

Hmmm, knitting a man instead of another clapotis? I'll have to think about this one...

Whoops - sorry for the double post! I keep getting server errors over here. (My work computer is just not set up for CAP blogging perfection!)

But Kai - you don't really need a kitty door in the mesh barrier. Any cat that wants in will attack until he/she makes it...

Oh, you've made my day! I should have read this earlier....

The Target version of Spanx are the best, because they're called Assets, and because I am twelve and think that's hilarious. Also they're half the price and exactly the same.

Heh heh... Assets.

Maybe for your own safety you should keep a pair of clean panties in a ziploc bag at work! For safety reasons, of course.

LOL @ lorinda - if only we *could* frog the men we find objectionable.

I now want a full-sized, knitted man for Christmas. Maybe I could put him in the passenger seat of my car and use him to get into the diamond lanes?

The P.L. can actually be justified as a medicine of sorts. You see, menopause can do cruel and uncomfortable things to the female anatomy. One can just be sitting there and suddenly, the pain, the agony of being dry. No intimate moment needed to bring on the intense discomfort. Trust me. In your menopausal years, you will give thanks (more than once) for P.L.

Shoot, just knit yourself one of those Japanese arm pillows. You'll have "someone" to snuggle up with at night without having the deal with male inanity.

I have tried the Target version of Spanx. Love them too!

Men are WIPs: so true. You do not want to know how long I've been working on mine. Then again, he's been working on me too, because, truth to tell, we are all WIPs. I remember my 86-year-old grandma's admitting her WIPness to me once, and her annoyance at *still* having major character flaws, and her determination to keep working on them.

Let's face it: it's hip to be WIP.

I can't believe you went through all the panties in the drawer. I usually break down and do laundry at the buttfloss stage. You're my housework avoiding hero.

I've got him. The perfect knitted man. http:/knittedbabes.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_knittedbabes_archive.html. Scroll down to March 29...

I just love that Spanx calls its product "power panties." It just sort of demands that you stand in the fists-on-hips superhero pose while an appropriately dramatic announcer voice declares that you are "Laundry Girl" who, in her power panties, stands for truth, justice and the eradication of visible panty lines everywhere.

Er...not that I've ever done that or even thought of doing it. Ever.

Well, from the male perspective....
I know it's time to do laundry when I'm wearing the Christmas boxers.

As far as the yarn selection for the knitted man, it should be a bulky rich burgundy/hematite blended Merino/silk heather tweed... Strong and rich and well polished while retaining a gentle touch and loving soul. The heathered color-way is muted to make sure the lady is always the center of attention when you are together. The tweed reminds you of the college professor who always had the intelligence you admired.

No acrylic yarn!!!! Phoney men come from unnatural fiber.

Well, from the male perspective....
I know it's time to do laundry when I'm wearing the Christmas boxers.

As far as the yarn selection for the knitted man, it should be a bulky rich burgundy/hematite blended Merino/silk heather tweed... Strong and rich and well polished while retaining a gentle touch and loving soul. The heathered color-way is muted to make sure the lady is always the center of attention when you are together. The tweed reminds you of the college professor who always had the intelligence you admired.

No acrylic yarn!!!! Phoney men come from unnatural fiber.

I think we should needle felt a guy...cause there's needles...and stabbing!

I'm just saying.

Spanx rule. Did you know that they make an underwire tube top that goes down to your hips? Expensive, but well worth the price!

Spandex has literally saved my a$$ many a time. :)

Hey i want one of these!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESuRn48mJpc

You're not alone. On Saturday I went to Ross because I was out of clean, white, ironed shirts and had a shift to work and did not want to bother with the clean, white UNironed shirts that were on the dresser. I bought a weeks worth of new white shirts. I don't know what I'll do when they're done. Buy more? Knuckle down and iron? Cry? Shake my fist at heaven? All of the above?

Future historians will know.

LMAO Your just too funny! I actually went back and started reading your archives and wow alot has changed since you started blogging. You have grown and enter into the world of I can survive after the Mr X ending. Good for you!!

Hee-hee. WeeMonkeyGurrl was at a sleepover saturday nite (ME! WITH A FREE WEEKEND!! COULDA SEEN A GROWN-UP MOVIE!!!)

I did laundry.

You might as well send me yours, since I have no life anyway!

um... could someone please enlighten me to how everyone seems to think that buying underware prevents having to laundry? I reckon I must be one of the rare people who wash new underwear before wearing them? (I really am trying to get my mind around this because I have heard many many other people refer to this phenomena and it always makes me wonder... but maybe I'm just odd)

Photo still to come! But I agree that one's attitude towards laundry and the inevitable dwindling of underwear supplies can tell you a lot about a person!

You weren't obliquely referring to the fact that those enormous new zip-lock bags are big enough to hide an actual body in, right? Nah, didn't think so.

Officially had my 4 oz of brand new SEALED contact lens solution confiscated by TSA today. Despite the baggie goodness, etc etc. Beware the WMD trifecta of Bausch & Lomb, Degree deoderant,and hair product!! WTF, is all I'm saying.

Spanx expert here weighing in.

The Target ones are not the same. They roll up on the legs and disentigrate after a few wearings.

The regular Spanx are great but I wouldn't wear the Power Panties under pants because they give you a mid-thigh line when you walk. You won't see it in the mirror in the morning but it shows when you walk. They make footless pantyhose to wear under pants. The power panties are best for skirts.

And lastly, it cracks me up that we can change the name to something cute, and wearing a girdle suddenly becomes acceptable. Cuz that's what they are, ladies.

Not that you would ever catch me without them.

Can you please stop talking about being undies al fresco so your male readers can go back to work? Do a laundry for our sake! Or maybe everyone should stop doing their work for Grandma Purl and start knitting you a bunch of thongs.

LOL!
rb, speaking as a costume history buff- the "Girdle" that any woman, no matter HOW slender was considered "undressed" without in the fifties and early sixties went the way of the burnt bra in the seventies as the (mostly) young, slender and perky-bosomed baby boomers became the main consumer market. And now that boomers are ruefully noticing that thier aging selves need a wee tad of help to still fit in thier favorite fashions, the girdle IS making a come-back as "Spanx" because to CALL it a "girdle" would make all those boomers feel like they were wearing something unhip..like their grannies wore!
Confession- I'm an X-er who was never completely svelt, so I've used my OWN form of spanx in the form of super-control lycra panty hose or tights hacked into various reincarnations for years. Wish I'd been the genious to market them!

I'm thinking silk/cashmere for the knitted man, so he is nice to hold. But, then again, I want to be able to just throw him in the washer, soooo...

See? Just like a real guy, too much to think about...except for handy storage, of course.

I saw this on youtube and thought you might like it. Delightfully absurd. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6ZjMWLqJvM

laurie.

thank you.

LYLAS! that's so awesome, i totally have not thought of that since like 7th grade. i'm in shock of it all! LYLAS! i will use that for every thing now.

how ya'll doing?
LYLAS!

sure is sunny, eh?
LYLAS!

that's almost as good as: Laurie Loves S.O.S.
*grin*

awesome. :D

I love your sense of the absurd ... and the way you express it !

So tell me... exactly what kind of film will we be seeing at ll? Because, pantiless, you're likely to inadvertently turn this place into a porn site. I guess that's one way to increase your traffic!

Not that it's part of the budget thing you've got going on, but have you ever considered taking your laundry to one of those places that wash by the pound? Could actually save you money in the end - no laundry soap to purchase, no water spent at home, and especially no extra panty purchases.

Laurie's Shopping List

undies (lots)
yarn (for man project)
zip lock bags (all possible sizes for all possible carryons)
no doze (for making it through all those fabulous knitting spots!)

I've sworn off spanx for good. I'd rather go commando. I refuse to wear anything on a day to day basis that requires spanx. But I'm really glad that I can put my potential explosives like lip gloss in a ziplock and get on a plane. And I can buy a coffee before I hit the gate, cos airplane coffee creeps me out. In fact I'm much more afraid of getting e-coli from airplane coffee (I mean the water is yuck) than I am exploding deoderant. Call me crazy.

So, you're knitting men next, right? That's the best excuse ever to learn how to knit! I mean, I'm gonna start trying RIGHT NOW. We're already allowed to carry personal lub and walk around al fresco, anyway.

;-)

I had the unfortunate displeasure of flying a week ago or so. (I'm still jet lagged, yet it seems like ages ago)

I was groped by a freaking Wookie. o.0

I have to travel again soon and I'm thrilled I can take my burts bee's lip balm with me again. I got wicked bad chapped lips the last time without it. Crazy!

Is anyone else concerned that they can't tell the difference between stuff that goes BOOM and Bumble and Bumble shampoo and conditioner, Vanilla loitions or other personal care items? Cause that's the really fresky shit part. :/

Oh and what's the deal with them allowing freaking LUBE to be allowed on weeks ago. I guess the people in charge need that to screw us better eh. *L*

I'm not bitter. I'm just tired.

okay maybe a little bitter...

OH! and the man you knit would have to fit into a quart size zipper baggie. :P

I bought my first pair of SPanx last week. The kind that go from waist to ankle. They are a miracle! ANd I need the lube to get in them, but once in, I looked fabulous! Once on they are fine. Getting them on is a challenge, especially since they have little, tiny rubber lines on the bottom of the legs to keep them from shimmying up your legs, and therefore are a bit sticky. Brilliant.

I'm heading up to OR in a couple of weeks and am dreading the whole airport ordeal.

My husband says that this is very OCD of me, but the part that really bothers me is that you have to take your SHOES OFF to walk through the metal/bomb/lipgloss detector. EEEWWW! All those FEET! Hot, stinky, athletes foot riddled FEET, treading the same spot that your own little tootsies must pass.

I am so creeped out.

By more... At least that's what I would do.

Or learn to appreciate going commando. ;)

Yeah I think I might give up flying and just start driving everywhere...

Hello Laurie! Thanks for providing laughs on an almost daily basis :)

Just used this saying to my daughter this morning and thought of you (?!)- "You're rippin' ma knittin'"! But say it with a thick Scottish accent in a moment of exasperation....

Hey! I think I missed he deadline, but I put some pics of my knitting spot up on my blog. :) Had to wait for the danged camera batteries to recharge. Alas.

Anyway peep me!

Laurie, sent you an email. Just wanted to say thanks, you've truly been an inspiration.

Get out! They are selling SPANX at Target? Now that is news that's fit to print! Oh my gosh, Laurie - I moved and I haven't even unpacked my underwears. Thank goodness for long skirts...

P.S. I will be on the edge of my seat until 11. Which is 1 AM here. But I have to know.

Man, I didn't see the date, so I know I'm late for the nightly news, but at least I know now Not to buy the Target Spanx, and that Power Panties are only good for skirts. Right. Because I went clothes shopping the other day, and I realize I really need to unpack...my foundation garments. Or workout. Hahahaha.

Can we do that?? Knit Nice Men?? That would be great. Really great.

I don't think we can do it.

I'm so negative. Sorry.

I vote for a superwash merino man. He is soft and cuddly and can stand up to machine washing.... what more can you ask for? Oh yeah, the ziploc bag to keep the moths and explosives at bay....

Thanks to that commenter who clarified LYLAS. It cleared up lots of confusion for me.

But did you have to go on to drop the word "clapotis" so that I'd be confused again?

People keep talking about clapotis, but nobody, NOBODY says what it is!

Well, I think I need to clone myself for Laurie. Nothing wrong with a woman that knits with cats, and I do fit in a ziplock bag.

In fact, on my wife Sydney's blog, she even tells you she likes to knit for me, since I wear the socks.

Now I'm off to go to bed, in my ziplock bag, so I won't bother the knitting creature. :)

Clapotis: a scarf pattern from knitty. V.v popular.

http://knitty.com/ISSUEfall04/PATTclapotis.html

I say, if your knitted man gives you any lip, threaten to stick him in a "space bag" instead of a ziplop. There's something so satisfying about sucking all the air out and turning something puffy and full of itself into a pancake that fits easily under most couches...

First visit to your blog. Love it! I thought I was the only one who had tissue paper and desperation panties (in a drawer all their own of course)!

I find it hard to believe that no one else has linked to this in reference to the "knitted man" but it's heartbreakingly gorgeous and oh so lovely.

http://normallife.livejournal.com/

PS I know you've totally moved on and done like a million (or three) entries past this already, but I thought it should be shown.

PPS Your blog is hilarious. I love it when you talk about Grandma because it makes me miss my own so much, but in a good to be reminded way.