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August 30, 2006

Two socks plan an insurrection.

Laundry day is a sad time in my home. The entire process begins long before the actual trip to the laundry room (a.k.a. my garage). Several days beforehand I contemplate the Great Underwear Crisis, weigh the options, poll the troops. Is it better to buy more or break down and wash what I have? Supplies run low. The troops get uneasy. The backup panties are called onto the scene.

Like all wars, this one is fought out amidst a backdrop of financial need. The perilously low bank balance signals our leader that the time to launder is now, since buying new underthings is just not a practical expenditure. Sacrifices must be made.

Laundry must be done.

The sleeping giants (a.k.a. housecats) have to be roused from their comfy perch atop Mount Laundry. Clothes hangers have to be untangled. (Did I tell ya'll I have a theory about this? It involves missing socks. I believe that all missing socks turn into coat hangers. Think about it. Have ya'll ever had a coat hanger shortage during an abundance of paired socks? The two do not intersect. It is a laundry day vortex. We are its innocent victims.)

Finally, the casualties of Laundry Day find themselves clinging perilously to the bottom of the pile: barrettes, movie stubs, gum wrappers. Like an archaeologist I sift through the remains, hoping to uncover a treasure. I once found the remote control there, fraternizing with a pair of jeans. It was a happy day.

The spoils of war get lugged off to the laundry room, where they wash and whirl and fluff and dry. Laundry Day comes to a close, with the Final Folding Summit. I survey the damage, and realize how close I came to being vanquished by a tower of dirty clothes that threatened to trap me inside my house forever.

I sigh with relief.

I have clean underwear. I am victorious. I have won the battle... for now.


frankie-loves-laundry.jpg

Posted by laurie at August 30, 2006 09:02 AM

Comments

First?

Posted by: Donna (squitchinglady) at August 30, 2006 09:04 AM

Wow first for once woo hoo! Too bad you did'nt live closer Laurie I like doing laundry! I know it must be some kind of defect I have. Really I think it is because not so long ago I had to drag all my laundry to the laundromat of doom. Now that I have a washer and dryer here at home I don't mind washing at all. I can even accomplish other stuff while doing laundry!

Posted by: Donna (squitchinglady) at August 30, 2006 09:06 AM

I have a laundry fetish . . . I wash everything immediately. My family hides their laundry that is "CLEAN, NOT DIRTY! This does not need to be washed." I may need to start a southern branch of Launderers Anonymous!

Posted by: melly at August 30, 2006 09:10 AM

I am so freaking jealous you even have a washing machine in your house. Imagine adding the total pain of packing an entire month's worth of laundry into one receptacle, driving it to the laundromat, then having to worry about having the right kind of bills for the chain machine! Not $20s since I don't need that many quarters, and the old-new $10s and $5s, as opposed to the new-new, because the machines haven't been programmed to take them yet. I could own 50 pairs of panties and still wear them all before I bothered with this mess!

Posted by: Leah at August 30, 2006 09:12 AM

Leah: You just described the first 31 years of my life.

I finally forced Mr. X to buy me that washer/dryer. And when he left, they were ALL MINE! He never washed a sock anyway.

Posted by: laurie at August 30, 2006 09:18 AM

Last weekend I threw out all my old undies and socks. And I DO have one of those nifty new frontloader washers that are more entertaining than I ever thought possible..But the perils of laundry still follow me.
My boyfriend did my load of white delicates and actually turned them all pink with a red tanktop he happened to throw in for good measure.
( I didn't think this happened in real life)
Re-washing clean laundry is something I can put off until I really need something white.
For now, pink is the new white at my house.

Posted by: brianne at August 30, 2006 09:23 AM

For 5 long years I was a laundry goddess (I managed a laundromat). So if you want to talk laundry, I'm your gal.

Posted by: Nancy Knits at August 30, 2006 09:23 AM

I wish I would have video-ed the cat instead of a still photo. She was purring and kneading that laundry like nobody's business.

Posted by: laurie at August 30, 2006 09:26 AM

Do you remember that lip syncing contest show that was on in the 80's? And how some single contestants would choose to lip sync to a duet, so they would be half one singer and half another? Clothes half-and-half down the middle, even their makeup done half one singer and half the other, right down the middle of the face?

That's what your pussycat reminded me of in this shot. Little cutie pie.

Posted by: Caroline at August 30, 2006 09:26 AM

You are too funny!

Even though I love to do laundry I put it off and many a times I too contemplate going out buying more clothes and underwear just because I'm too distracted by other pleasurable chores than my laundry.

Posted by: ana at August 30, 2006 09:26 AM

I too have been to the mountain, and it was not pretty. Especially when you're too broke for new undies so you end up trying to dry a freshly hand-washed pair of undies with your hair dryer or frantically calculating which outfit won't give away that you're going commando.
I broke down an developed regular laundry habits when I moved to a studio so hot and tiny that regular homage to the laundry god was the only way to keep myself and my apartment from perpetual dirty sock funk. Tres attractive in a single woman no? Eau de Gym sock?
Three section hampers are my favorite thing now--it means no sorting through my hubbies nasty stinky running clothes. But I LONG for my own damn washer/dryer!!

Posted by: SJ at August 30, 2006 09:27 AM

Frankie is just fabulous - I bet she makes great biscuits too! :) Good enough for Roy to throw some bacon on for a yummy breakfast!

Posted by: Amy at August 30, 2006 09:29 AM

I applaud you tackling the laundry mountain in one fell swoop.

My laundry goes through a 'process'. Kind of like bread dough - it needs time.

1) Finally cart overflowing laundry hamper down to laundry room. Insert dirty clothes into washing machine. (Avoid over stuffing. That leads to leaking washer, wet floor and more dirty towels.)

2) Once done washing, move to dryer. Run 90 minutes. Hear buzzer. Immediately forget laundry in dryer.

3) 4-5 days later when another load of laundry begs to be washed, repeat step 1.

4) Now it's a necessity to remove the laundry from the dryer to make way for new laundry. Run dryer 10 minutes to remind clothes they are clean now.

5) Forget laundry in dryer. Run for 40 minutes instead of 10.

6) Finally pluck over-dried laundry (load 1) from dryer and dump into hamper to carry upstairs, laying the hang-up items over the top. Put wet laundry in the dryer. Repeat step 2.

7) Carry clean laundry upstair; leave next to closet for hanging/sorting/folding. Spend next 3-7 days walking around hamper.

8) When hamper supply is completely occupied by dirty and/or clean laundry, finally hang/sort/fold until the necessary # of hampers have been freed.

9) Start the whole damn process over again.

I'm pathetic. I know. Just can't get the Laundry Mojo to flow.

Posted by: K8 at August 30, 2006 09:32 AM

K8, this made me laugh out loud!

"Run dryer 10 minutes to remind clothes they are clean now."

I thought I was the only one . . .

Posted by: aj at August 30, 2006 09:38 AM

I also have to deal with things in the laundry like full packs of chewing gum, cigarette lighters, Chapstick tubes and random cat toys...never anything good like MONEY. Oh, the trials of being a woman...

Posted by: TinaB at August 30, 2006 09:43 AM

I have to be careful when I do laundry because the Sally loves clean clothes. If I bring in a basket of warm clean clothes and then go put in another load, she is in them before i can get back.

Posted by: Kristy at August 30, 2006 09:45 AM

I usually do laundry on Sunday but I just won tickets to the local wine festival so laundry will have to wait until Monday.

Posted by: psychomom at August 30, 2006 09:46 AM

Awww ... makin biscuits. Now I really know you are from the south. My friend from Savannah calls it makin biscuits, too. And now I do. I have two 20-pounders who love to do that, but on me. It hurts after a while, but they are so cute and content I let them continue.

Posted by: Dawn at August 30, 2006 09:48 AM

I sent a personal email to Kate, but then decided to share with the room...she left out an important step in the laundry situation:
Once the clean laundry has been brought to the bedroom and is waiting to be put away, you must take the top piece off and put it back in to the dirty pile because it is now covered in cat hair.

Posted by: Tami W. at August 30, 2006 09:53 AM

I have my laundry down to a science. Every Saturday morning, I go through my routine:

1. Extract dirty laundry from all the usual places (bathrooms, bedroom floor, kitchen table, couch, and oh yeah, the hamper)
2. Empty pockets while sorting clothes into whites, colors & darks, or just 3 loads of a size that won't overload the washer and will hopefully all come out the same color it went in.
3. Start washing.
4. Every time a dryer load's done, "flip the laundry"--empty the dryer, refill the dryer, refill the washer, and move on to other things.
5. Repeat step 4 until the piles of dirty laundry are replaced by baskets of clean laundry, which the cats then nap on until we get around to putting it away or taking it out to wear it, or until the cat-napping turns the clean laundry into dirty laundry to be handled the following Saturday.

The only laundry that gets done during the week is the occasional load for my son, because of that magical way kids have of going through clothes faster than the speed of light. (especially when the teachers at daycare mysteriously think that toddlers don't need to wear bibs and should, instead, get to change clothes after lunch or a particularly adventurous snack)

Ah, housework. I hate all of it.

Posted by: Tara at August 30, 2006 09:56 AM

No-No...Frankie is just holding them down for you and getting the prewash (aka making biscuits) done for you!

Posted by: Robin in VA at August 30, 2006 09:57 AM

Sounds like everyone's a step ahead of me...I've been so busy this week, I actually DID run out and buy more undies yesterday! (This will definitely be a laundry weekend...I guess it's not called Labor Day for nothing!)

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2006 09:58 AM

When Nate and I moved in together. I discover he had a summer wardrobe and a winter wardrobe. Which meant if it was summer his entire winter wardrobe would sit, dirty, in the bottom of his closet until the cold weater returned, and vice versa. (stinky) When I moved in I washed it all, and found he had 65 pairs of socks, and almost as many undergarments. Now we cannot fit his clean clothes in our bedroom.

Posted by: erin at August 30, 2006 10:01 AM

haha, Caroline, I remember that show! It was called Puttin on the Hits!

Posted by: kitty121 at August 30, 2006 10:03 AM

My dirty laundry takes up residence in the hallway in front of my washer and dryer. When my family and I can't get down the hall anymore, it's time to wash it all, then the clean stuff takes up residence on the couch until I can get a few moments of "helper" free time to fold it all. Then once the Mr. gets up and is ready to start his shift (nights) it's time to put it all away.
By this time, Sam the cat has dug out all the Bounce sheets and rolled on them for a while.

Posted by: Dorothy B at August 30, 2006 10:09 AM

K8....you make me laugh...you have just described me. I didn't know anyone else in the world did laundry that way...the 10 minute dryer thingy is me too but I tell myself that I just want to fluff them up a bit before folding...I'll do anything to get out of it.

Posted by: Linda at August 30, 2006 10:10 AM

Laundry is the scrunge of women everywhere. K8's description of laundry is exactly what I'm doing over here. Except I also forget about laundry in the washer; after a few days of being wet in the closed washer I have to re-wash it with ammonia to de-funkify it. *sigh* I hate all housework - but I love the results of doing it: clean clothes, no cat fur on the carpets (for a couple of minutes anyway!), no dust bunnies, clean dishes IN the cupboards (rather than in the dishwasher)...

Frankie is so sweet, holding down the errant laundry for you. She's kneading it into submission.

Posted by: Sharon at August 30, 2006 10:18 AM

What is it with cats & dirty laundry?
If left to their own devices my cats will build elaborate tunnel systems that allow them to spy on the humans without being seen; and possibly hide out after an unfortunate incident involving the bread the human left on the counter and the cat HAD to eat through the plastic bag.
I swear one of these day's I'm gonna end up washing one of them with the bath towels.

Posted by: cursingmama at August 30, 2006 10:19 AM

My laundry set-up is in the basement, the very old and smelly basement (I clean the rest of the house and most of the yard, attic and basement are DH's). I run the dryer an extra few minutes just to remind the clothes that the *smell* isn't allowed upstairs! Then the dining room turns into the local air-dry laundry company.

Posted by: bonnie at August 30, 2006 10:22 AM

I like doing laundry. I really like ironing. What's wrong with me...

Posted by: ~drew emborsky~ at August 30, 2006 10:22 AM

Best thing about having a broken ankle - possibly only good thing - I really can't manage doing laundry so my mom comes and gets it. And that lady LOVES to iron.

Posted by: Amy in StL at August 30, 2006 10:40 AM

Drew, I think it's a Boy Thing to like ironing, at least in my experience. Maybe because the iron is kind of like fire?

Also, I have had roughly 20 pairs of socks disappear this year. It was all very mysterious, until last night when I saw Paddington grab one of my socks off the floor and run out the front door with it.

Posted by: Gwen at August 30, 2006 10:45 AM

I feel your pain and our washer is in the house. I do the laundry when it is only necessary. There are only 3 of us, plus the dog and cats things, but man do they all add up so quick.

Posted by: Tonia at August 30, 2006 10:47 AM

The Boy collects washers and dryers pre-1985 and LOVES to do laundry... granted right now that doesn't include mine but we have a deal that when we cohabitate it will ;)

Seriously a requirement of men you'll date should be their feelings on laundry.

AND they need to bring back combo machines (the ones where you put in the load press go and come back later to clean & dry goodness) I "have" one by proxy from the 50's. Granted it's not in my apartment but... someday : )

Posted by: carma at August 30, 2006 10:47 AM

I *used* to have my own washer & dryer, until I had to move to Crappy Little Apartment. I'm contemplating a move to THE VALLEY just so I can afford a place that has "W/D hkup". Sweeeeet.

Posted by: monkeygurrl at August 30, 2006 10:49 AM

I'll see your "no washe/dryer", Leah, and raise you a "no car." Nothing so fun as walking ten minutes to the laundromat dragging your dirty clothes in a bag. Needless to say, I avoid doing laundry as long as possible. There is a LOT of handwashing done at my house. Now, here's the tragedy. Sunday, I did a wash. Monday, I woke up, showered, and got ready to bask in the glow of clean clothes. First pair of pants I put on had a stain. That's odd, just washed them! But, must just have been a stubborn stain. Put on a different pair. Another stain. Turns out, everything I washed had these nasty greasy-looking stains. I don't know what it was - something from the public machine, I assume. I did a laundry and made my clothes dirtier. I was so depressed it was a wonder I got to work at all.

Posted by: pyewacket at August 30, 2006 10:50 AM

OMG I HATE laundry.

Worst thing is, DH works from home...and needs the internet connection. For some stupid reason when we turn on the dryer he loses his VPN connection. (We even had a new electrical panel put in.) SO, laundry gets washed and dried only on Saturday and Sunday, then waits until Wednesday when my cleaning lady folds it.

Yes, I pay good money for laundry folding. I hate it that much.

Posted by: Lynae at August 30, 2006 10:51 AM

comment/confession: I don't own an iron.
I am afraid to use one since the last time I tried -17 years ago- on one of my dad's work shirts and made a big mess.
I need one to finish the lining on my 'we call them pirates' hat - if my warm dogs lay on it for long enough to align the stitches, does that count as ironing?

Posted by: brianne at August 30, 2006 10:54 AM

Awww...Frankie looks so cute! Sadly, my cat posse only gets excited about the pile of CLEAN laundry after it's neatly stacked and folded.

Posted by: Amy at August 30, 2006 10:56 AM

Can I add a tragic warning to the cats and laundry discussion? BE SURE you close your dryer door every time. My daughter checked the laundry one evening and left the door slightly ajar. Our sweet kitty, Ivy, found a dark cozy warm spot to take a nap. I returned to do the 10-minute reminder (not realizing the cat was in the dryer) and walked away. We figured out something was very wrong and opened the dryer door. I expected to find a toddler toy of some sort and was really surprised when a very hot, miserable and dizzy kitty crawled out. Fortunately this story has a happy ending. After a trip to the vet for rehydration and a round of pain medication for her fractured tail and slight burn (like a sunburn, the vet said), Ivy's back to her old self. She doesn't go near the dryer though. If only she'd tell Holly to stay away. . . .

Posted by: Rachel at August 30, 2006 11:09 AM

There is hope for the next generation of laundry-hatin' women...my son is the laundry dude at our house! I told him he is SO going to have future girlfriends beating on his door when he tells them he can do laundry. I will admit that, in the interest of having clothes all the same color as when they went in, I do divide the stacks up for him, but then, he's only 14. Advanced moves will come later.

Posted by: Judy at August 30, 2006 11:17 AM

Frankie is such a pretty little cat. :)

Posted by: jaclyn at August 30, 2006 11:56 AM

I have a similar fight on laundry day, except that my laundry day involves hauling clothes off to the laundromat, 6 blocks distant, in a shopping cart. Because I live in Brooklyn and have no car.

Unfortunately the most recent "do or die" laundry day coincided with a hellacious thunderstorm. But because I had procrastinated on the laundry for so long, I had to choice but to go out into the monsoon. Laundry sucks.

Posted by: Julie H. at August 30, 2006 12:24 PM

Oh Rachel--poor Ivy! I'm so glad she ended up okay...I can't even imagine how you felt when you opened up that dryer and found her!

Posted by: laura at August 30, 2006 12:26 PM

Aaah, memories. Senior year of college I ended up on crutches with a bum knee for 3 months, and my best friend would do my laundry with hers. Every week. For 3 months. Talk about friendship!

Then there was 3 months of taking my laundry bag on a 6 hour train ride (each way) once a month so I could wash my clothes at my brother's house... don't ask!

Then it became carting the laundry bag on the bus to go to the laundromat. I despise laundry.

Posted by: Anne at August 30, 2006 12:52 PM

There are 6 people in my house. Laundry is never freakin' ending. Only one day has to go by before I have a mountain! Ug!

Posted by: Ang at August 30, 2006 12:54 PM

The backup panties are better than turning them inside out and re-wearing them as my sister did in college during finals week! ROFLMAO

Posted by: dianna at August 30, 2006 12:56 PM

I'm surprised Laurie that you and the other commenters did not consider option 3--go commando. It's not pretty, but it doesn't involve laundry.

Posted by: lorinda at August 30, 2006 12:59 PM

I forgot to add - did you read Sheepish Annie's post's last week about her underthings multiplying - OMG killed me!

Posted by: cursingmama at August 30, 2006 01:03 PM

I used to think that when I turned 30 I'd have to stop using too much laundry as an excuse to go to Victoria's Secret... but I'm thinking now maybe not. Thanks for the inspiration!

Posted by: Marisa at August 30, 2006 01:25 PM

Does Frankie like the dirty laundry as well as the clean? Because Mary only likes the clean (as evidenced by the laundary I did yesterday). She is quite particular about what underwear she will root around in...

Posted by: carrie at August 30, 2006 01:33 PM

Here's what I've learned in my very long life: Cats sleep; laundry never does.

Posted by: Adam's Nan at August 30, 2006 01:42 PM

We rent the CattyAbode and share a washer/dryer with other apartments. Saturdays are domestic goddessing day so what I do is snag the washer at 8 AM (everyone else is still sleeping) and throw the first load in. Then I set the timer for 25 minutes which is my clue to throw the next load in. I started doing this as a courtesy to other residents - there's nothing worse than someone forgetting their stuff in a communal machine for hours at a time. Since it's just the CatMan and me, a normal day is 4 loads (including sheets and towels). If I don't get to do laundry on Saturday, it throws my whole week off! I save up all my ironing for a one-time shot (usually every 2 weeks or so in the summer...damn linen) and then pop in a movie and iron away. Of course, ironing would go a lot faster if I didn't have to fend Izzy off the board (and away from the hot iron) every 30 seconds.

Posted by: Dusa at August 30, 2006 01:51 PM

I can agree with Drew about one thing- Laundry and ironing is kinda satisfying. YOU wash and fold something, or iron it, and it's DONE.
But when you don't have a washer/dryer in your own home, it is simply the suck.
And what about all those dainty girl things that look a jillion years old the second you put the damn things in the dryer? SO you gotta hang-dry them, SO your house looks like the Beverly Hill Billies. When we move I am demanding one of those nifty new-fangled dryers with the drying cabinet on top!! (oh- and when I live with kitties I either fold the laundry and put it away the second I get to the bedroom, or I keep a pile of old towels and pillowcases to tuck on top of the warm laundry as cat fur repellant. Strewth! It works!)

Posted by: Susan at August 30, 2006 01:51 PM

I love that you could divide Frankie's face in half. He has the coloring of two different cats. That sounds like a Dr. Jekell/Mr. Hyde kind thing doesn't it?

Posted by: Jennifer at August 30, 2006 02:14 PM

I, too, like doing laundry. Strange, I know. Although I'd probably love it less if I had to go to a laundromat, garage or basement to do it. My washer/dryer are right in my bedroom's walk-in closet, which makes it quite convenient. Which reminds me - I need to throw those towels in the dryer! See ya! ;-)

Posted by: Mary in Virginia at August 30, 2006 02:54 PM

I just read your blog, pretty much from start to finish, for the last 3 days. (slow here at work). And now I'm making a clapotis. nice blog. we have very different taste in knitting but you did inspire me.

I hope you are dating someone nice. I think your story would be good one for a book.
Au revoir.

Posted by: anonymous at August 30, 2006 02:58 PM

Oddly, you are the second person I've heard make the connection between socks and hangers. Back in my USENET days, I remember someone speculating that socks were actually the larval form of wire coat hangers.

Posted by: Beth at August 30, 2006 03:20 PM

I switch back and forth between the commando option and the non-commando. (Actually, I DO have a system, but it's TMI.) I feel so spoiled, actually--I have pay machines in my apartment, which although relatively easy--just a few flights of stairs away--is STILL too much work for me.

So I go to the LT's house and do my laundry in his machines! Occasionally, if I leave something over there, he even does MY laundry! I'm in love.

Posted by: Aarwenn at August 30, 2006 03:30 PM

Laurie--Laundry in any color and/or fabric is my worst nightmare. I hate laundry so much that I purchased enough undies and outies to get me through a month at a time. Oh, and plenty of baskets to store laundry until I do it once a month.

Posted by: laundry-hater at August 30, 2006 03:41 PM

Thank God for back-up undies!!!

Posted by: wilsonian at August 30, 2006 03:55 PM

That puss has the coolest face ever. Love that sexy biscuit-making look.

Posted by: Julie at August 30, 2006 03:59 PM

Do you have the terrible habit, like I do, of washing ten dollar bills that you left in your jeans, and when you find it, the money looks all weird and discolored, and you're not sure if you would get arrested if you actually used it in a 7-Eleven?

Posted by: Neil at August 30, 2006 05:04 PM

You've been channeling genius again. The "missing sock to extra wire hanger metamorphosis" theory was printed in a comic essay in Smithsonian magazine back in the 80's. I wish now I'd saved it.

Posted by: Reading Dirt at August 30, 2006 05:22 PM

I always thought those hangers were breeding in the garage at night...

Posted by: Cookie at August 30, 2006 05:54 PM

my immediate thought: (from my 2nd fav. movie!)

Kirby: Fluff and fold, buddy. Soon as I make it really big, I'm going fluff and fold.
Kirby: I understand the fold, but what's fluff?
Kevin: Fluff's what I write for the paper.

Posted by: cheryl at August 30, 2006 06:43 PM

Ah I remember those days of not having clean underwear back when I was in a super tough college program. Went to the store and purchased 21 pairs of underwear to last me until I could do laundry. It worked and I passed.

Posted by: Debbie at August 30, 2006 06:55 PM

I'm with you on the Thin Man thing.
best.movies.ever.

Also be careful with that laundry. I recently injured my arm ( tendonitis?) while doing the laundry ( after almost 12 solid hours of knitting) ... still since it happened while I loaded the washer it's a laundry injury. So Be CAREFUL.

Posted by: FanniePie at August 30, 2006 07:19 PM

Ok - first post, I'm a total lurker. I love your blog and being paired with a southern man as my partner in life, I just love to read your take on so many things 'cause I can relate via him.

Had to post today because I just read the Thin Man post and declared outloud that I had to see it! My boyfriend is an actor who loves that movie and mentioned that we had to see My Man Godfrey - which also stars these actors. He says that's where the idea came to pair them for the Thin Man. We're so checking it out and my DBF thanks you (and so do I!) Just loved the post.

Oh - and I recommend that you approach laundry as we do here in NYC - just drop it off at the full service laundry mat before work and pick up your clean and neatly folded items on the way home!

Posted by: Kristin at August 30, 2006 07:50 PM

does frankie have a split personality to match the 2 sides of her face?

Posted by: zina at August 30, 2006 08:13 PM

At least when you go to the laundromat (I highly recommend those folding wire grocery carts to haul it) you can get a couple weeks' worth done in a couple of hours...

Posted by: Sue F. at August 30, 2006 08:28 PM

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at these laundry confessions. So glad to know I'm not the only one. Guess what I was doing while reading the CAP laundry/hanger/sock entry and running up and down stairs?

More laundry. Because I live in a testosterone zone. Ladies, it is not my clothes that I must wash every day. It is theirs and their sheets and towels and swimsuits and beach towels.

My now-husband used to ridicule me about my laundry lackadaisicalness when we were still single and I lived alone. How *could* I be so remiss? [Well, for one, I had six times as much laundry as he had. He still only has a few garments and wears them until they are more hole than thread; then I have to put them in the garbage and see if he notices.] At the time of our singularity, I had dubious, rare access to an ancient washer and dryer in the scary, dark, five-foot high, buggy, sometimes flooded dirt basement of a Victorian house. I wasn’t exactly motivated to go down there, even though I kept a slew of quarters for honor-system payment just in case I got inspired to wash. The closest Laundromat was always mobbed and it took hours to get just a couple of loads done. One time two whole loads of my things were stolen. Because of the crowd, even if I went often, it was a gamble, and I never got all of what I took done.

Now I live with my husband and our two sons, who at 13 and 9 have been taught to gather and set and do laundry but who will not really do it unless I chase them with my witchy broom. I have my own washer and dryer, and I have worked much, much harder on laundry than I ever did earlier, but the result is no prettier. Never let it be said that I don’t kick all of their butts and toss their stuff down all the staircases. I do. But they just don’t care if they have clean clothes. If a garment passes their own sniff tests, they keep wearing it. Two weeks at a time. Unless the older boy has a date. Then it's panic all 'round.

Our house has five levels (it’s on a hill) and the laundry is in the lowest level, which is the unheated garage rather than the basement. The basement is above the garage. Go figure. I’m doing laundry in an underground garage in New England. In winter, I have to wear a heavy coat, hat and gloves to do laundry. Yay. NOT. When it comes out, you can’t tell if it’s still wet or just cold.

Posted by: Dana at August 30, 2006 08:44 PM

Although Natasha likes sleeping atop the laundry pile, she seems even more excited by the idea of climbing atop a basket of recently laundered items. I find myself having to do laundry more often as many of the backup panties have committed suicide -- by throwing themselves into the garbage. I got tired of praying that I wouldn't be in an accident on a day that I was wearing them. (Why is everyone looking at me like that? You know your mama told you to make sure you had OK drawers on in case you were in an accident.) I look forward to my paycheck at the end of next month. I'm going shopping then so that I can create more backup panties.

Posted by: Dagny at August 30, 2006 08:47 PM

One Friday afternoon at work, not too terribly long ago, someone asked me if I had weekend plans.

"Yup", I replied,"I'm mountain-climbing."

"Wow!" my co-worker replied. "Whereabouts?"

"Oh, in the bedroom, I guess. The clean laundry is piling up pretty badly right about now."

I don't mind sorting, washing, drying or putting it away, but I DETEST folding laundry. Harrumph.

I had a calico kitty named Jennie Baldrin (read "The Abandoned" by Paul Gallico, if you haven't) who had a face like Frankie--black on one side and orange tabby on the other. And her chin was white, so she had tri-colored lips! Lurve them calicoes.

Posted by: kt at August 30, 2006 09:54 PM

Frankie looks incredibly chic, even on top of laundry. I hope Soba is not jealous. Well, not too jealous.

Posted by: Andree at August 30, 2006 10:22 PM

Well, of course Frankie loves whites. He is a black cat afterall.

And, just picture your laundry problems multiplied by 4 people (soon to be 5). The sock issue is massive around here. I've got a very large laundry basket full of socks. Takes me hours to sift through looking for pairs, and I'm always surprised at the lowish number of pairs I actually pull out of there.

Posted by: Krista at August 31, 2006 12:51 AM

I love the idea of Frankie making biscuits :) We call it plodding.

Posted by: mrspao at August 31, 2006 01:05 AM

I am laughing at "I make my biscuits on you."

I have no clean underwear and yet I chortle. Thank you.

Posted by: Rabbitch at August 31, 2006 02:19 AM

We need to become better sifters around here. My husband once washed his cell phone due to no sifting. Now we have a laundry lottery rule. Any money found in pockets becomes the property of the person doing that load of laundry. My teenager has become an avid fan of doing the laundry this way. Could you hide tuna in the laundry and get the cats to do it under the laundry lottery system?

Posted by: Kate at August 31, 2006 04:07 AM

Ooh, Kate, what a great idea. DD hates taking the laundry down off the line (yes, I am the last person in America to dry all my laundry on a clothseline), even for money, but the potential windfall in all of those pockets is much greater pre-wash.

Gotta go do laundry...

Posted by: Lucia at August 31, 2006 04:34 AM

Frankie is such a cool cat. : )

Posted by: RishaMoonshadow at August 31, 2006 05:43 AM

Hi,
I read your blog often - one of your fans :)
As part of BlogDay2006, I have included a link to your blog in a post I've done on my fave blogs.
G'day!
Mia.

Posted by: Mia at August 31, 2006 07:37 AM

what is this obsession with being the first to comment? i am proudly the eightyteenth commenter. whooo!

mmmmm...kittehs makin biscuits...LOVE!

Posted by: amy at August 31, 2006 08:01 AM

Lucia, I still hang my laundry, too! It is the only way I will sort socks - I hang them last and match them as I go, and when they're dry, they are already together!

The hard part is convincing the 9 and 11 year olds to put it up or take it down.

Posted by: another Mary at August 31, 2006 08:31 AM

Kristen - the boyfriend obviously has good taste in movies, but he's wrong: Carole Lombard (not Myrna Loy) was in the 1936 version of My Man Godfrey with William Powell. Still it's a really great film, but Carole's not Myrna. (Also, The Thin Man came out in 1934 --2 years before My Man Godfrey).

Posted by: pixie at August 31, 2006 09:12 AM

this is so gross, but... when it rains around here we get ants inside. A woman I work with was telling this story the other day:

She saw a line of ants marching through the window into her bedroom. She followed the trail, thinking they had found some food crumbs, which puzzled her because she never ate in her bedroom. She found them in the laundry basket. Enjoying her dirty panties.

She says she does laundry more often now.

Posted by: rb at August 31, 2006 10:15 AM

Ok, here is my second post on one subject. I have a confession to make:

Years ago when I was married to my first husband he actually tripped on a pile of clean towels and tore the cartiledge in his knee and wound up having to have knee surgery. I know that should have inspired me to learn to put clean laundry away in a more time honored manner but alas...it did not.

Posted by: Tami W. at August 31, 2006 11:25 AM

I'm good with the whole laundrifying thing until it gets to the putting away part. I don't know if that's the point in the process where I just reach my laundry tolerance level limit or what but the baskets full of clean clothes WILL sit around making an obstacle course of the bedroom floor until I need to empty one to put dirty laundry in to start the cycle all over. Besides, if I leave them there long enough and just get dressed out of the basket each day, eventually, it will have emptied itself with no need for pesky putting-awayness. Or that's my theory, anyway.

P.S. Main reason I bought my house? The laundry room is UPSTAIRS thus eliminating the carrying of the laundry loads up and down the stairs all day. It's so close to my son's room I have actually mastered the tossing of his "my diaper leaked last night" pj's from the changing table to the washing machine without having to move. Modern conveniences rock and also leave more time for important things like blog-commenting and becoming one with my couch.

Posted by: KJ at August 31, 2006 11:50 AM

Stepping out from lurking behind the curtains to share this link I just now found.

http://chickenknits.blogspot.com/

Another contender for the Cats on My Stuff Blog.

Crazy Pulr Girl, you should so start that blog.
:)

Posted by: Kim at August 31, 2006 12:16 PM

Oh my goodness! kt, I can't believe you had a Jennie Baldrin!!! I second kt's recommendation that every kitty-lover in the world read Paul Gallico's "The Abandoned," which was first published in England with the title "Jennie." (If you read the book, you'll see that the American title makes no sense...) Best chapter title: "When in doubt, Wash!"

Posted by: Marisa at August 31, 2006 01:59 PM

Alas, the laundry battle is never won. There's always next week, or next month, or next year....

Posted by: molly at August 31, 2006 07:22 PM

HAKKE PALLE!

Posted by: haj haj haj at August 31, 2006 09:09 PM

I just have to say this: I check your blog every morning just to start my day off with a smile. You are a great writer and I appreciate your ability to write from every corner of your soul.

Thanks for brightening so many of my days!

Posted by: Knittybitty at September 1, 2006 06:29 AM

When I was waiting tables in Texas, I could actually afford to have my laundry done by a service. It was THE BEST and well worth the money. They washed, ironed and folded the clothes. The ultimate luxury. Until they gave me the wrong basket back and I didn't realize it until the morning we were to leave on our honeymoon. My basket they lost? It had all my shorts in it and we were going to The Bahamas. That sucked.

Posted by: Iby at September 1, 2006 08:23 AM

OMG. It's so simple and yet, all these years I had no idea.

Of course socks turn into clothes hangers. There's no other reasonable explanation.

Posted by: Carrie K at September 1, 2006 02:50 PM

My CaliCat looks just like yours!

Posted by: scotty at September 10, 2006 06:25 PM