Cats do have bellybuttons! My one (really large male) cat's bellybutton doesn't even have hair on it.

First???

Love you, Laurie!

omg, I was first! And with such a lame comment, too. It's true, though - cats apparently do have bellybuttons; they just don't look like ours. I was all freaked out about my one cat's hairless patch on his stomach until the vet very gently (and probably while laughing inside) informed me of what it was. :)

Matador? What about all the killing that is part and parcel of a career in Matadoria? Now if we could replace the innocent bulls with certain humans (no need to mention names here..cough cough, Mr. X, cough cough) THEN and ONLY THEN would I even consider being a matador(ess?)

AHA!!!! See, this is why I love the innernets! You can learn things!

Heh, Liz, it's not the actual job of Matador I covet. It's the costume ;)

But Laurie, those short jackets can be really hard to wear for girls like us with the BIG BOOBS! I'll bet the hats would look cute on us, though.

Not First.

Found my dog's belly button. They're not where you would expect them to be.

I like your list of possible professions! Wouldn't it be great to be paid to shop for yarn?

I don't know about the matador thing. I'm with you on the party planning and herb gardening though. In fact, I think one might be able to do both of those at the same time.

And I'm glad Marie set the record straight. Because as I remember it, if you weren't hatched, then you've got a bellybutton.

I would go with the ice cream tester. But don't be yarn shopping and ice cream testing at the same time- things could get messy :)

great picture of Roy!
He has beautiful eyes.

Oh, I have always wanted to be a Hurricane Hunter (although, I do get motion sickness)! That and an accident investigator for the NTSB (investigating plane crashes).

How about a buyer for a department store. I have thought that would be fun too. And dressing up in historical costume while getting paid. (Without having any actual duties or acting involved...)

Blimp pilot would actually be more accurate than blimp driver, and in the aviation world, blimps are generally referred to as airships. To pilot an airship would require a regular pilot's license first, and then one would get an airship "rating." At that point I guess one would be free to start searching the blimp pilot classified ads.

Laurie: Since you said the P-word (presentation)...and words of wisdom on how to do one really well? (I have to give one in just over 2 hours for my grad class.)

One thing I don't wanna be when I grow up: professional presenter!

Laurie: Since you said the P-word (presentation)...any words of wisdom on how to do one really well? (I have to give one in just over 2 hours for my grad class.)

One thing I don't wanna be when I grow up: professional presenter!

I'd like to be a Professional Gift Recipient when I grow up...

Nancy: relax and pretend you've had a few cocktails. Oh, and pretend everyone else has, too. Presentations are best when you are having fun.

Roy is possibly the most beloved cat on the internet.

OK, that's it, peace out, I gotta pee!

Helen

Yep. Gotta chime in with the cats do have bellybuttons--my boy's doesn't have hair either. Neither do his nipples. But he is sort of the result of inbreeding, so maybe normal cats don't??

I always wanted to name paints. Or yarn colorways. ("I wonder why they called this one 'Watermelon Fudge'?")

I got mentioned on two of my blogs that I stalk, um, read, today. I just think I am so cool. Don't suppose CAP (who is, after all, my very favorite) would honor me tomorrow?

I saw the blimp once, or more accurately one of the blimps, when it was parked at the Ann Arbor Airport. Got to walk up close to it and look at it while the pilot talked about it. This was years ago. I can't remember much the pilot said, but I remember there were zippers on the bottom of the blimp. Zippers! Who knew?!

For Dagny: We have always said that our older child was "hatched". Seems that if you were not delivered in the traditional fashion, you don't have to fast on fast days (for the first born) in the Jewish calendar. Who knew?

Roy!

So, let me know if you are truly credentialed in this kitty psychologist thing because I'm having a problem with two of my males....Oh! Nothing kinky!

I consider myself an animal lover and all, but I'd skip Matador because if the proximity of the bull's horns to my soft underbelly. Goring and trampling? No thanks...

I'd like to add Figurehead Royalty to the list. Not someplace volatile (like Africa or Asia) but someplace cusht (like Scandinavia, Monaco, or England).

visionary. *snort*

what do they do, exactly? think up good ideas? you could make some serious dough being a kitty shrink. or psychic.

I back you up 100& on the professions of Yarn Shopper and Ice Cream Tester.
I'd also like to add Travel Guide Writer or Apprentice to Rick Steves to the list. He has to have the coolest job in the world.

My dog has a belly button, if you can call it that. She has a little scar where here umblicial cord used to be. I wonder if ours ends up the way it does because it is cut and tied off rather than just left to fall off. Wouldn't it be wierd if we didn't have belly buttons??

AVALANCHE BALLISTICS EXPERT. Really, we have them here. They usually work for the department of transportation. When it snows really hard or wet or the loads the slopes with unstable snow, they get to go out and shoot howitzers at the mountains so they can have "controlled" avalanches. That's what I want to be when I grow up!

My dear, you are only eccentric. You are allowed that and it is expected when you are from the South. William Faulkner was crazy. You are eccentric. (please don't ever change)

Saw the blimp once while driving through Goodyear, Az. and my first real job was a roller skating car hop at Sonic. Only reason I got the job was 'cause I knew how to skate.

My fantacy jobs after retirement: Sommelier, beer taster, food critic, and tour guide. Maybe a face painter.

You can be the mascot for my son's school "Sandia Matadors". No bull.

roy wants to come live at my house, he phoned me and told me. and congratulations on your quote in the Fall Interweave Knits mag. every day you're more and more famous.

How about FUDGE tester??

My dream jobs:
spa rater - (one who gives spas ratings)

high-priced custom dog sweater knitter - (I could stand to knit a few cute sweaters for dogs that aren't mine and make a few hundred off each)

professional peanut gallery - (get paid to make comments - since I like it so much)

pet environment consultant - you should see the posh mansions my snake and iguanas live in & my boyfriend constructed an outdoor 3 storey kitty enclosure for an 18y.o. diabetic kitty who lived at our house so he could be outside in the fresh air and still get his shots on time.

Oh! - and dolphin 'trainer' at the tropical resorts that offer programs to 'swim with dolphins'

Official CAP stalker doesn't pay enough for my yarn habit. (which officially engulfed 42.8% of my rent money this month)

Bonnie, LOL. Thanks for that piece of info.

And Cindy, I always thought of Faulkner as being eccentric. He was crazy? Does that make me crazy as well since he is my favorite author?

Oh, and when I grow up what I'd really like to be is a trust fund baby. Silly parents keep nixing that idea though. Guess I'll just have to settle on Empress of the Universe.

I'd like to be an alpaca psychologist. Imagine all the free yarn, given in gratitude, from the alpaca owners who needed my services.

Hmm.

How about Matador Outfit Designer?!!!

I have a friend whose brother works for Busch and is a beer taster. Every man's dream job.

My dream job? Vacation home tester.

I would like to be an official ice cream designer.

and taster.

Laurie, I adore you!
Can I add "See's Candy tester" (yum!) and "Long-term use Mattress tester" to the list?
Also, I'll let my geek flag fly here by saying about the belly-button thing- if something's hatched, it might actually have SOME residual belly buttonage, at least in early youth, because they have an umbilical attachment to the yolk until they use it all up a few days before hatching. I guess we never bother looking beyond all that cute new-chickie/baby-duck fuzzyness to actually CHECK for that teeny scar.

I found this online:
http://www.dj-inabox.com/MediaMoments/2003FujiBlimp-1.shtml
and it says:
"So how does one get to be a Fujifilm Blimp pilot? Capt. Hance, who has been flying the Fujifilm Blimp for the last five of its twenty years, says he was in the right place at the right time to be hired as pilot. Capt. Hance says it’s one of "the best jobs in aviation." It takes up to 2 years to be trained as a blimp pilot, and Capt. Hance says that almost anyone with aviation training COULD be further trained to be a blimp pilot. But he went on to add "no one can get on board and fly one," without the training, regardless of your aviation background. "More people have flown the Space Shuttle!" he emphasized."

hmmm... how about Space Shuttle Pilot? The work would be tough but the view out your office window would be incredible!

I want to have a job as one of Laurie's cats. The. Life.

Ole, Roy!

(yeah- double-post-sorry!)
And Drew- they DO have "Professional Gift Recievers"--they're called the Royal Family and they live in the UK. I just got back from my honeymoon there, it was eye-opening touring Warwick Castle, and seeing all generations of big-ass expensive portraits and gifties (each costing more than the average local Joe's yearly salary) showered on the barons of that castle just for breathing and cutting ribbons at the local fair. Quite the different class system than we've got here in the States (okay, at least here in L.A.).
Hey, nice work if you can get it!

I have news for you...you already ARE a Kitty Carlisle-esque personality, even without the benefit of television. (she was always my favorite on those old game shows)

You're *NOT* a visionary????? Shit.

Laurie,
Today is the sad one year anniversary of the death of Peter Jennings. Lung cancer kills so fast. My mom (a non-smoker who lived with smokers for her entire 61 years) barely survived past a year. I hope you've stopped smoking; I'm not trying to be annoying but it's sooo bad for you. My Dad quit smoking after 46 years. Cold turkey after his triple bypass last year.

I forgot to ask: exactly where are the belly buttons on dogs and cats? I've never noticed them before! I always thought becasue they were born with their placentas still intact that they didn't have one. The things you learn from the interwebs!

You sadly need to be over-qualified in aeronatics and ballooning to be the Blimp driver! My Dad's cousin applied-- and he even builds his own distance hot-air balloons, and once even got the world record for something relating to distance ballooning in the 80s... they were like "NO, NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!"

I have a book on weird jobs, and one was an armpit sniffer. Worked for acomapny that makes deoderant.

Well now I have to go home and inspect my cats. Sheesh!

I don't know whether to thank you or curse you, I went home this weekend and made fried okra AND fried chicken and they were fabulous, if I say so myself. I could never make fried chicken without burning it the few times before that I tried. And that okra is good the next day too, cold... mmmm mmmm.

Laurie - you'd be Matadorable!

I once had a job as a quality control person at a video duplication factory. We did great art like Dirty Dancing, young Guns, Teanage Mutant ninja Turtles, Sweatin' to the Oldies (my personal favorite)and many more. My job was to watch the movies.
Just Sayin'

Lulu has a belly button.

Laurie, the only time you need to worry about being a little crazy is if you say something that makes your therapist go "hmmmmm". I'm only a leeeetle bit crazy since she's only said "hmmmmm" to me once or twice.

Cats have belly buttons. Just grab a cat, carefully, flip 'em upside down and part their fur about where you'd figure there would be a belly button. There should be a bare patch of fur there. That's the belly button. Just be careful about which cat you pick. Some cats are picky when you rub them wrong.

Sounds like the job an aquaintance of mine used to have - he was in charge of "monitoring" all the cable channels all day to catch any that were not functioning right (which he then didn't have to actually fix himself, he was just supposed to call the guys who fix it) - more or less he sat around surfing the internet and watching tv all day and got paid for it... (can you imagine the amount of knitting that could be done during that time?)

Although the other ideal job for a knitter (though it would be boring) is large university library front door security guard... the one at my alma mater used to sit and crochet the entire time (except when the alarm went off and you waved your lovely InterLibrary Loan book with the yellow sleeve at her, and she went back to her crochet, lol)

At one point I had decided that what I really wanted to be was either a socialite or a benefactor. I didn't really put together what would enable either of those "professions", but you know, the noble birth and all that. Can't wait to see what you wonder tomorrow.

chiming in on the cat bellybutton thing. my pat cat had an umbilical hernia. freaked me out when i saw it. asked the vet; he said it was no big deal, and it was repaired when she was spayed. she ended up with a slightly larger than average incision. and she was pissed at me for a couple of weeks.

i'd happily work for kilwin's, sampling their chocolates!

We actually just had this prompt on Sunday Scribblings about "What other lives might I have led" I must admit neither matador nor blimp driver made the list! I wish I could swipe Kitty Carlisle talk show host, though. Oh, I do know WHERE you can go to become a blimp driver - the training school is actually over here, a couple of hours (or days, depending on whether the 10East is open) east of you at the SB airport. We have blimps floating around all the time! Out-of-town guests tend to freak out at the night-time sightings, thinking those are UFOs lit up in the sky...(hee-hee)

Add Zamboni driver to your list. No need to worry about traffic while you're driving.

Ooohhh! I want what Elizabeth said!!

We are obviously somehow related!! I can't believe it! Just this last Friday I started a conversation with my carpool friends on the subject of....

Are blimp pilots proud of their jobs? Are they considered studs in the pilot world? Or are they the pocket protector pilots?

We need to have long, long talks about these things.

They are important.

Oh! And how about Lipstick and/or Racehorse namers?

How about "pundit"? You may already be a pundit!

Racehorse names: I love the famous Potoooooooo race horse.

potatoes, get it? pot 8 o's?

har.

http://www.bloodlines.net/TB/Bios/Pot8os.htm

Laurie, I got to pilot the Goodyear Blimp once! I won the chance in an essay contest. It was darn tootin' fun.

And from the Goodyear webpage FAQ:

http://www.goodyearblimp.com/faqs/faqs_flying.html#pilots

Goodyear trains its own pilots. All Goodyear LTA pilots are also certified as instructors, and they share teaching duties when a new student is assigned to one of the operations. Goodyear only takes applications from fixed-wing pilots who already have commercial instrument, and multi-engine ratings. A college education is also a big bonus for an applicant.

We seem to have the same problem lol.

I asked my best friend who's a vet the belly button question last year. Last week I asked him if horses have tonsils, and as soon as he could pick himself up off the floor laughing he said that yes, they do indeed.

When I was in high school I was at the doctor's office once and said, out of the blue, "You know, they put lights in the ceiling on purpose."

Next time Simon wanders this way, I'll flip him over and look for his belly button. And when I grow up I want to work in a yarn shop - a nice one with friendly co-workers and customers...

Is a think-tank member the same as a pundit or visionary? Or how about being a Disney imagineer? We could have Yarn Mountain as a new ride...

I think you would be perhaps the best Kitty Carlyle-esque t.v. personality since Kitty herself. What ever happened to game shows featuring semi-celebrities sitting there looking pretty and making pithy comments? Do you think that the fact that being a semi-celebrity now means being Paris or Nicole or Tara Reid the game show people said, "well we can't count on them to be pithy, let's just film them falling down drunk with their mascara running"?

Blimp Driver??? Now there's something I've never thought of...this is going to be like a song...I'm going to keep thinking about this one! Laurie...you're going to have to post another thought for me, this one is going to drive me zooey!
Cat's bellybutton--lint in the bellybutton would drive a cat crazy trying to clean it...maybe God was being kind since he didn't give them thumbs!

I want to work at the Godiva factory as their official taste tester.

I always thought being someone's Evil Twin would be a great job.

Try this one out: What's on the other side of YOUR belly button? Seriously, i've asked doctors, and they're like... ummmm...

Isn't life funny! I spent yesterday afternoon curled up with my knitting on the couch watching an old film ( Strictly Ballroom) where the male lead gets to wear a matador coat and I couldn't help thinking that we should see more of them :-)

Me, I wanted to be a mattress tester. The saddest day of my life (to date) was when I was working at Good Housekeeping and they took me up to the Institute. There I saw him--Sebastian, my nemesis. 185 pounds of mattress testing machine. I hated his ugly red body on sight. A lifelong dream smashed...

I used to want to be a Vegas Showgirl...

I can't dance... I just wanted to wear one of those HUGE feathered, sparkly headresses!

But all that public parading in near nekkidness. Nope. Can't do that part.

Although the whole rhinestone bra thing might be pretty cool. Uncomfortable... but sparkly shiny pretty!

OH OH OH! And I want to be a ghost chaser! Imagine all the fun! Running around stranger's houses going "did you hear that?" and "I just got a chill" (!!!!!)
Heh... I'm gettin' all glassy eyed just thinkin' about it!

I actually spent several years wearing a matador outfit on a regular basis! Why? Because I attended Sandia High School, Albuqerque, New Mexico, home of the Matadors. I was on the drill team and we had these really neat red and blue outfits - the pants (in our case short shorts), a frilly white blouse, cool hats with the flat brims, nifty vests, white gloves, and best of all a skirt that snapped off and voila - a red cape to twirl about. Whodathunk this bit of trivia would ever come up in conversation.

My family had a slew of non sequiturs, along the lines of your post title. My favorites are my mother walking through the house and saying to no one in particular, "And spaghetti's not cheap, either" and my grandmother once justifying someone's opinion by saying, "And that man was a cab driver!"

We still throw these out in conversation now and then to keep the dull times off.

Roy!!!

Non-Sequitur Society of America: we may not make much sense, but boy do we like pizza!

Hey Laurie, I have a friend whose husband is a hurricane hunter. He flys in those planes that fly right into the actual hurricane. How cool is that.

Matador costumes are pretty cool, but the Portugese bull fighters have even cooler costumes. They are called Rejonedores (spelling might be off) and they get to wear 18th century frock coats, tall black boots, lacy shirts, plumed hats and ride horses that have ribbons braided into thier manes and tails. Very cool looking. Unfortunately, there is that rather sad part about Offing the bull...

And for the person who was mentioning the Space Shuttle - a good friend of mine has flown on the space shuttle twice. He says it is a blast, although obviously really dangerous.

In the OSHA SIC (standard industrial classification) book, my favorite job listing is,
donut finisher. Can't you just picture it?

Matador costumes are far to hugging for my taste! And too high-wasted!

My dream job? Nail Polish Color Namer.

I want to be a toy tester. How fun would it be to play with things all day?

OMG this is the funniest comment section ever!

At Penn State, they used to have students taste-test their ice cream - it was hard! Imagine tasting 5 different vanillas, and describing how each one tastes, and which one you like better. I guess my tastebuds aren't that discerning :)

Yes, yes a TV personality! They should bring back Match Game (is Gene Rayburn still alive?) and you could be the upper level anchor spot as a sort of Kitty Carlisle Hart/Fannie Flagg combo.

I think a good job would be name of cosmetics. Like Sour Apple Nail Polish. Next to Nude Lip Gloss, oh I can not think of silly cosmetic names. But I am sure CAP can!!!

i like the matador hat -- like fancy mickey mouse ears.

but the pants are way too highwaisted for me and my boobs would end up just sitting there above the waist band -- not a flattering look for me.

also -- i always wondered about kitty carlisle. first of all, who names their kid kitty. and how did she get to sit on the "to tell the truth" panel. and were her diamonds real.

if she were around nowadays though -- she'd have her own reality show like flavor flav.

How about an Ice Cream Name Thinker Upper? That's got to be a cool job. You get to eat it AND name it.

Ice cream tester ranked #2 ????

Party planning is a pain in the ass when you don't get to enjoy the party... I like ice cream tester and I always thought it would be cool to be a movie or TV critic and get paid to watch movies and TV shows...

Very amusing read. I too have weird thoughts that I only say outloud to my hubby. If other people heard me, they would think I belong in a loony bin. I can relate!!

Very amusing read. I too have weird thoughts that I only say outloud to my hubby. If other people heard me, they would think I belong in a loony bin. I can relate!!

I bet matador costumes make people look hippy.

Dream jobs
- Charitable Foundation head - give away all that nice money to folks doing good things
- REAL "life-size" catwalk model (I can do the walk thing, plus I like pretty clothes, plus I wouldn't slap anybody). No matador costumes tho, they're sooo pretty but not for the short-waisted zestily-bosomed amongst us.
- Quilt designer (well, I already do this, just wish I could get paid for it)
- Bookstore owner (but only after I won the lotto, so I wouldn't have to actually run it like a real business, and could just read & talk to authors, publishing reps etc all day)

Cat bellybutton - I asked my vet about this years ago, since I'd never been able to find one. He was absolutely amazed that more people didn't ask about it, he figured most folks were too reserved or shy. I love my vet, he never acts like I'm strange.

Non-sequiturs - My dad frequently adds "and his all-girl orchestra" to any list of things anyone is saying. Now my sisters & I do it to our kids. They're starting to do it to their friends.

I want to be a nail polish and paint color namer!

Whew...totally caught up! I just had a gorge on CAP. I'm not completely sure how long it took, but I think it is about high time for some lunch. Maybe fried okra (yum..is there really anything better?) or fried green tomatoes or both?

Sorry to hear work has been so busy the last couple of months. Oh and since you're so into questions lately, what of the square watermelons and raised beds? Did they drown in the sprinkler incident?

Do you know that they hire people with MFAs in poetry to name apartment complexes and housing subdivisions? Apparently it's a pretty lucrative job and all you do is sit there and invent alliterative names like Whispering Woods and Misty Meadows. I could totally do that, sans the MFA!

Now see, looking at that list of jobs, I'm thinking you could really combine several of them to make something fantastic...

Like maybe being the host of a gag tv game show, where you fly down into an arena with a blimp and step out wearing a matador costume and roller skates. You would then roll on over to a local grocery store to tell people their futures with your visionary skills while allowing them to admire your matadorness. And, of course, the prizes would include beautiful yarn which you would have shopped for in advance.

Surely you could have themed days where you treat cats with psychological problems, bake bread, taste ice cream (like garlic flavored, for example) or any number of interesting activities during the game show (of course, while wearing a matador costume, because that kind of get-up can dress up any affair - just as long as you're not the one stuck cleaning bread dough or cat hair out of the sequins).

Hmmm. Perhaps I have a wee bit too much time on my hands, as well.

Whew!! Sooo glad you said Ice Cream tester and NOT "Brownie Tester", which is the job I am currently looking for. I know that somebody needs to fill those shoes--I'm here to step up!

Krista, come live here. NOW. heh!

OK, now my cats are pissed at me because I just tried to find their belly buttons. They will pay me back tonight whilst I try to sleep. And Laurie, I am a party planner. Don't do it!!

Hmm going to have to examine cats carefully when I get home again.