Happy Birthday, Laurie!!!!!

Dear Auntie,

Happy Birthday, and from someone who's been there, too, I want to say congratulations, cause you get it. It's all about the small things that make up you and life and let you keep on going.

Well done you. Please skritch the gatos for me.

After celebrating a 30 something birthday on my own, I can relate to that. It is the little things in life that helps you keep on. Happy Birthday. :)

thank you :)

Happy Birthday to you Laurie!

It's late here in South Carolina, and I'm up trying to soothe my sick dog. I checked in and read your post....and I can't believe how few comments there are so far! Anyway, I wanted to be one of the first to wish you a happy day, and year! Be good to yourself!

I love your blog, by the way. I check in almost daily.

Here's to a year filled with joy and happiness!!!!!!!

Jennifer

I think you've found wisdom. Or at least a piece of the puzzle. At the end of the day, we have to be comfortable in our own skin. The rest of life, people, events, are really out of our hands. So, yeah. Thanks for the navel gazing. :->

PS: Did you ever get that yarn I sent you back in March? I'd like to hear your opinions of it. Thanks!

You won't always be free. You are just in-between. And so much wiser. Not because of what happened, but because of how you have examined it, and changed yourself in response to it, rather than remarrying and getting on the same merry-go-round, again. Nothing he does or doesn't do reflects on your worth. You have spent the last year growing all your best qualities, and learning to accept the small flaws. Not bad!

Can ya'll believe he is MARRIED again? Already? It's ... fascinating. Amazing. Men are another species altogether.

Jo-- I did! Please emailme your address again, I have something to send you :) the yarn was AWESOME!!!

Happy birthday, Laurie. Just remember -- you are one of a kind and so could never be "interchangeable." And Mr. X? I suspect that if and when you are ready to, you will find that he is indeed replaceable -- with a much better model. Finally, I think that this coming year will be the one for Cancer chicks. The rest of the world won't even see it coming.

Dagny, happy birthday to you, too :) I hope this coming year is our year. I hope.

A: "Just in between." I hope. I don't want to know lonely forever. How did he find a missus so fast? Mystery. All of it.

Happy Birthday!

Luv the blog, it often helps me get thru the work day.

Being on your own, not so bad. You do what you want, when you want YEAH!

Happy 3-5 Laurie!! Sounds like you're in a pretty good place now. Amazing, isn't it? I think you will always be happy to have gotten to know yourself so well, even though the circumstances that got you here were less than ideal.

Oh, and my opinion about Mr X finding a wifey so soon is that many (not all) men can't be alone. He very likely isn't comfortable with himself and doesn't know how to not be with someone. (Weak!!)

Happy Birthday! I love your blog.....it reminds a little of the old Jack Smith L.A. Times columns that paid tribute to our beautiful city. I wish I could write the way you do.....

I know the last post was the one about how you like living in LA, but I have to tell you reading your descriptions of your house and yard, and the way you can sit outside at night and drink wine makes me feel not so bad about maybe having to move to SoCal sometime soon.
Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!!
I know it's wrong, but I wished the new missus would choke on a cricket. For your birthday. Cause it would be a liiiiitle bit funny.

Happy Birthday!

I truly hope that someday soon I can look at my life and see things the way that you do.

I, too, hope that this is the year for the cancers. I could use a good year!

Happy Birthday! ( it is your birthday here in New Zealand, and we've been celebrating for hours).

I don't mean to sound glib, but I'm quite envious of your self contained life. It sounds lovely.

Laurie, how did he find a wife so fast? Probably he didn't.Cynical, I know.

Happy independent comfortable birthday. And, babe, take it from me, while 35 is good, 36 is prime.

Anne, I hope so.

And sometimes I am not so optomistic. Just ask Jennifer, who heard me crying on the phone all day yesterday, "he's married!"

So surprising the way things work out.

Marie: Here is the thing. She wanted my husband, now she has him.

As my mom said, "When a man marries his mistress, he just creates a job opening."

I have no sympathy for a woman who dates another woman's husband, he leaves his wife, marries her. SHOES DON'T STRETCH AND MEN DON'T CHANGE. He'll cheat on her as easily as he cheated on me. But wow. He's MARRIED. Cray-zee-zy.

Oops....I went back and re-read today's entry. Believe me, I have been there, done that.....and it does get better with the passage of time. I was about your age (actually, 31) when I discovered my husband had had a girlfriend for 2 years. 31 with three young children. I was shattered, had to drop out of law school, and it took me three years to pick myself up and move forward. I went back to school (AFTER three years had passed!) and got a masters degree in public health and focused on my children. I feel blessed that I was able to get rid of my ex and to get over him. I have had so many many wonderful experiences because I was not with that dead weight; more importantly, I was able to learn about myself and get to know myself as a strong and independent woman, not as an appendage of someone else.

You, too, are a strong woman....I can see it in your writing....and you have grown so much since your separation and divorce. My thoughts and prayers and best wishes are with you as you move forward with your life.....

Happy 35! I have children older than you!! But I've been where you are now and know all about lonely, and it will not always be that way. Things have a way of coming to us when we're ready for them...and the cosmos knows when that time is. You are a beautiful woman and good things have, and will continue, to come to you. Just enjoy life and all it offers.

Well it is already your birthday where I am. As I write this it is 16:15, 22/06/06.

Happy Birthday. I'll drink for you tonight. :)

And, sometimes, your days will be all the better for waking up with a cat on them :)

Happy birthday!

I haven't posted to your blog before, but I just wanted to say that today's post was just beautiful. You have such an engaging way of putting words together.

Happy birthday. I hope your year brings you wonderful joy. And that tomorrow brings you well behaved (sorta) cats!

Happy Birthday! You know you are fine when you can sit on your porch and have a lovely time. I have been living in Lonelytown in Lonelyville for a while now. But, just when I thought I has settled, He came along, and now I live in Having-to-communicate town, having to blend a family and it is better than lonelville but there are also all the possibilities in the world there. If you know what I mean? oh blah blah what am I getting at? Screw the ex, he deserves a second marriage on the rebound.
Mia

Laurie, thank you so much for your beautiful words'; they enrich so many folks' lives on a daily basis. With all the muss and fuss that goes along with birthdays and celebrating them and worrying about getting older, it's easy to forget that the point to people recognizing someone's birthday is to celebrate the fact that they were born, that they walk the earth. It's saying "Hey! I am so happy you are here. The day that you came here, to this world, life altered, for countless people."

You have altered my life and given me courage, and I am happy you are here. Happy birthday, and many equally happy returns.

Friday is my 31st bday. i have been married 12 yrs and have 6 KIDS, you think the cats are sexy? how sexy is a mom with six kids! lol! i have never lived on my own as a grown up. my best friend leaves this week for a fabulous new adventure the way single girls can. we are mutaully envious and content at the same time. my life is messy and chaotic. i think i had that same outfit on as i got the mail today! maube we can trade comfy pajama pants for a week just to mix it up!

Honey, you ain't even hit your prime yet. Happy Birthday!!!

He's just 'medicating' himself with the new mommy. Believe me, YOU will have the last laugh, and the best life. From one southern belle to another. Use it, the men out here LOVE southern women :)

Dear A:
First off Happy Birthday! As I sit after trying a marriage not once but twice and have been in post husband blah for almost 5 years now. My chihuahua who is almost 5 lays curled up at the end of my bed because it is hot here in the Bay Area. I have every fan target sells longs too in every window I own or should I say rent. What is sapposed to be my friend my new mate has just left he lives 2 doors down and let me say this is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. Dating a neighbor is worse than marriage and divorce it is a long painful who is going to leave there rent control apartment first. Well not I! I am almost 44 and not budging. My first husband my childrens father is now living with his high school sweetheart which I was informed this week by my neice that it is the love of his life and more important than his 20 and 18 year old children. She has just moved here from Greece just imagine a man I can't live with gets a girl to divorce her childrens father & move back to america and is sending for her kids who happen to be the same age as mine to live with my ex my childrens father. Who chased his own flesh and blood out of the house to make room for her. I got a honda she gets a new mercedes and trips to mexico, Italy,disneyland and has only been here since March. I gave him children and over 10 years of sock washing. I never left the state of CA. Husband number two was my cats PJs I loved him and would move mountains for him. I was with him 7 years before we married had my dream wedding and as soon as I said I do it was over. Hence why I have a dog because my kids were growing and going out and I had a husband that traveled with everyone but me. So I got a dog. (my daughter is allergic to cats). So Yes I agree I love waking to my dog in my face wanting a dog treat and a trip to the dog box to pee in the bathroom. She is part cat. I read you daily and have even taught myself to crochet but I can't work two needles to save the planet. I am sorry to ramble but I guess I feel what you feel tonight. I just don't have a porch I have a lap top My neighbors free DSL and a fan. Enjoy every moment of your day and you life. It is yours to do as you wish and I am glad to hear you are comfortable in your own skin.
J

My mouth literally dropped open when I read about him marrying so soon. I can't believe how easily some people can just distance their emotions like that. I'm sure he'll do it to her as well, which makes me sad. Kinda.

Happy three five girlie! I've got a three four next week. Yay for cancers! The zodiac kind of course.

Happy Birthday!
Being single and living alone with cats is a good thing
You are in control of your destiny (if the cats agree),
think of the anguish you have been through that has made you a better, stronger and happier person.
Remember who is the emotion cripple, you, who has feeelings or Mr X, who has now inflicted his shortcomings and needy self on someone else so soon.

Have a luxurious birthday with love from all of your blogbbabies and their furbabies.

Happy 35th Birthday, Laurie! Since I always enjoy your horoscopes so much; I wanted to repay you with one of your own (even though I have barely enough knowledge of astrology to know my own sign, So instead here are some "scientific" predictions for your year ahead:

This will be the year science discovers: that cat owners emit pheromones that attract tall, dark, sensitive men. Square watermelons prevent the bird-flu. That knitting is the new jogging - knitting one skein of wool is the cardio equivalent of 30 minutes on the treadmill. They'll also discover that wine both helps you lose weight and write 50% funnier blogs.

Have a great year! Happy Birthday!

Laurie, it is the 22nd here and has been for nearly 18 hours. Happy Birthday! I am glad that you are so much happier in yourself now. It has been somewhat of a ride.
And men *are* some weird other species....

Happy birthday hon!
I'm still trying to take the step to move out on my own (haven't even broached the subject yet) and although I know it will be hard I also know that I can come and see how you are doing and that will remind me that we get through the process of leaving and loss one way or another. Friends, cats, creativity and learning to love yourself for yourself is so important. I'm glad you found that all out before it was too late. Instead you have achieved that while you still have a long time to enjoy life.
35 will be fantastic - and it will keep getting better. Enjoy the cake and the champagne on the way.

One of the nicest birthday cards i ever saw said'thank you for being born in my lifetime'
I'd like to say now that i am thankful that i found your blog. I've empathized, cried and peed my pants laughing ( the paris episode of 'im from LA you f*kr lol) reading the bits of your life you share.
Happy Birthday blessings on you sweetie!
another laurie at 3am awake in Victoria BC cuz i drank way to much coffee tryn to stay awake all day *rolls eyes*

One of the nicest birthday cards i ever saw said'thank you for being born in my lifetime'
I'd like to say now that i am thankful that i found your blog. I've empathized, cried and peed my pants laughing ( the paris episode of 'im from LA you f*kr lol) reading the bits of your life you share.
Happy Birthday blessings on you sweetie!
another laurie at 3am awake in Victoria BC cuz i drank way to much coffee tryn to stay awake all day *rolls eyes*

Happy 35th birthday Laurie! I will also be 35 very soon.

About your ex remarrying I do believe that it is like another poster said, a lot of men cannot be alone. It makes them uncomfortable. The introspective self analysis that many women go through following a break up, isn't something that a lot of men will do or want. Most of them figure it didn't work and they move on. Meanwhile us women will reflect on why it didn't work, when did things turn, how can things improve for the future etc... It seems that is what you are doing right now. I did it as well when my former fiance dumped me out of the blue. I used to think that it was because he didn't want to marry but then I found out that he was living with and engaged to another woman within a year. There's that uncomfortable factor again. It took me a good 2.5 years before I felt solid enough to know what to look for and begin dating again. After a few years of dating I am now engaged to an honest man who really WANTS to get married.

I didn't know that your ex was cheating. I must have missed a post or two. It shows his character though. You are much better off without that level of dishonesty in your relationship. He has made his mistress his wife to me that relationship will never be based on trust because it was built on lies. Two cheaters deserve each other. Two liars deserve each other. A cheater however and an honest person DO NOT deserve each other. The honest person deserves far better!!

Happy Birthday! Are you doing something special? Dinner with friends?

Happy Birthday! And yes, 35 is great, but you will find 40 out of this world.

And as far as the ex is concerned...it doesn't surprise me one bit. Take it from me, men hardly ever leave a relationship unless there is another one waiting. It is hard for them to live without the security, comfort and convenience of a nest. Most never grow up and leave mommy.

But here is You, listening to the crickets and loving being responsible only to you and the four legged gathering.

Happy Birthday! xx

Hi Aunt Purl,

I confess to be lurking around your blog for sometime now. Ever since I stumbled upon it, I have been reading it almost daily.
Since it's your birthday and all, I am coming out in the open to send a 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' greeting, half way across the world from you :P

I've been thinking about how to put into words how you've helped make me feel, which is good, calmer, comfortable with what life gives us. not so long ago I was having a bit of a problem with depression(sounds so stupid :( and cliche to me) and when that happens my sense of reality gets skewed, minor every day bad things become end-of-the-world things. This time I was sure my husband of 18 years was going to leave me. Absolutlely positive I was, when otherwise it would've been as likely as my dog taking tap lessons. Then I stumbled onto your blog. And came to realize it was'nt the end of the world, and that everyone has their own "bad stuff" and I am not unique--and that's a good thing. And my world will not end. That's huge, as I know you know. I'm feeling "much better now", but am a bit wiser...I still know the world will not end and no matter what, I will be fine. Was that on Will and Grace, "everything will be fine in the end, if it's not fine, it's not the end".?
Anyway, Laurie, thank you.

Happy Birthday Laurie!!! You rock, just got through ALL Your blogs and I am a new fan! yes, Lonely is temporary, you have a great attitude and spirit... Happy personal "new year" to you.... I know it will be a good one!

Sounds like your new version of 'lonely' is much more comforting than the old one, when you were sharing space with the cats and the former husband. You've come a long way. May this birthday be the best one yet!

Happy birthday, Laurie! Another Cancer here, and I'm still 35 for a few more days. Here's hoping we all have a great year with you! It's funny, it's been years since the break-up with my ex, and aside from some issues with my family, I've got a pretty happy life now with the man I love and our three cats, but reading you sometimes makes me wistful for the days when I was alone and still discovering my own strength. Cherish these days, Laurie, and know you've got a readership who will be thinking about you and wishing you well all day! That's some powerful stuff.

Happy Birthday Laurie, I wish you evrything that you wish for yourself:-) and just maybe, everything that you wish on your ex ( as long as it doesn't include dismemberment - we could have you going to jail could we!)

Happy birthday, dear, dear Laurie. Thank you for being a wonderful and inspiring writer, for thoughtfully and generously sharing your life, even the not-so-pretty parts.

Mr. X sucks and never deserved you.
(But you knew that.)

Laurie,
Obviously he isn't as strong as you. Obviously he couldn't handle being on his own. He needs someone to do it all for him, and he obviously hooked up with the first bag that came along. All this time I've said, and commented that it was a process, and maybe he blah blah blah'd.. but after hearing this about him... you're better off without him. Which is something I never wanted to say, because no matter what, you loved him once and I never like to say that about people.

On the other note, what a beautiful post you wrote. I could feel the strength coming off the page. Look how far you've coem girl.. you should be proud of yourself.

I hope today brings you some peace and happiness. If I loved closer than the complete other side of the country, I'd bring you a cake. Happy Birthday!

35th birthdays and pedicures go so well together, don't they?

Wishing you health, and happiness, and countinuing to be the womderful woman you are - accepting and loving, and warm, and honest and funny and real. I also wish you the strength to see yourself the way so many others see you (see list above, and then some!)

Happy Birthday Laurie, and many many more!

my ex is on wife 3. 3 marriages by 35.
how special. have to admit, it hurt less with
the 3rd wife. but you feel, cause you're
alive.

happy birthday to a strong woman, living-out
-loud.

rock on
denise

Laurie,

My first ever comment. I read your blog faithfully every day, it's truly inspiring.
Happy, happy b~day from the lightning bugs and me(46!) in Tennessee!

Happy 35th Birthday!!! You are just approaching your prime missy, you are gonna love it. Be so proud of yourself and how far you've come this year. Hugs from MN to Crazyville.

Happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday dear Laurie...
Happy birthday to you...

Thank you for sharing this quite and meditative moment with me(us). I am glad to hear that you are going to celebrate, pedicure and all. Birthdays are not just another day, they are a milestone and a date to remeber as much as you can about the person it is you are and want to be.

I truly wish you the best...

Despite a few details, your story isn't too far off my beaten path. It was when I felt and actually liked being alone and started to try new things in my new single life that I met my dear and wonderful husband who was also ok with being alone and a full person not looking for the next person to fill a void - I was in my mid-30's. We still enjoy our space and time alone as well as together. Have a wonderful 35th and celebrate!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It's his loss...the twit! Remember, alone and lonely aren't synonyms

Laurie,
Have a wonderful birthday! Thirty-five is the perfect age: you have enough life experience to give you perspective and grace, AND you have many wonderful years ahead to enjoy.

As for your ex-husband, well, I don't think I could improve upon what your mother said about men marrying mistresses.

I'm impressed by the intelligent and authentic way you've been working through your divorce and reconstructing your life. Ultimately, your way, although it involves some terrible loneliness and defers certain kinds of gratification, is better than your ex-husband's "quick fix." I'm convinced of it.

Celebrate your day! I wish you all the very best.

Happy birthday! Hope the pedicure is fabulous...and just be glad you don't have to wash anyone else's socks.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy birthday! Thanks for such a great blog.

Happy Birthday, to a blogger who makes me feel very not lonely nearly every day (and always makes me laugh). Thanks so much for your mirth and wisdom.

I hope you have a lovely birthday!

MARRIED??? WTF???

ass wipe.

Everyone is right - he's too poor in character to live by himself...etc...

but still... married. huh.

and to add to the cliche list - remember, "its not about you." its about him and the disfunction that is his-self. Thank goodness you're far away from the f'd up world that he sees. You might actually get a chance to be happy - truly, madly deeply happy. so thank YOU mister ass wipe.

I almost feel sorry for wife #2. She's got no idea what she's in for.

and remember - southern women are the best kinds of bitches - we can be bitchy but no one can ever prove it. So rock on, cry a little, drink alot and party hard. Because you're half way to 70 - and can you imagine the journey THATS gonna be???

hold on and enjoy the ride. Quit leaning out the window being car sick. :)

I am VERY proud of you. You've been through hell and back and have managed to turn it into something you learned from. That is the *true* embodiment of grace.

hugs from NC and a fellow cat lady.

Happy 35th Birthday! I'll be watching to see how it goes since I'll be hitting 35 in a few months myself and I've never been married or even in love, except with life.

Happy Birthday to you,
Dear Crazy Aunt Purl,
I think that you are one hell of a girl.
Your life is a trip
that I love takin',
now wake up Roy and
give him some bacon.

With you I laugh,
With you I cry,
With you green tomatoes I fry.
I knit some hats,
I love your cats,
I hate mr. X,
I hope you have sex.

I look forward to reading
your blog everyday,
the weekends are boring
when you're far away.

So I'll raise my glass
and toast to you,
your heart of gold
and your love so true.

Laurie, happy birthday! My little sister's ex (aka The Scumbag - he cheated on her when she was pregnant) married again as soon as the divorce was final. Sister has grown to realize she's blessed to be rid of him, and is stronger and happier than ever.

You seems as comfortable in your skin as you do in those holey pajama pants and old tee. I was almost 50 before I got there! Revel in your fabulous babehood, honey.

Happy Birthday, Laurie - enjoy the pedicure.

Happy Birthday, Laurie! You are wise WAY beyond your 35 years. I hope your day is a great one.

Happy Birthday, Laurie!!

Give yourself a "To me, From me, With Love" day today! Those are the best kind! (Worry about the credit card bill later) :)!

Enjoy the pampering and pedicure... make a day of it to take care of you!

Thank you for being you, sharing with us and being our friend.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Laurie!
May your wine glass never empty.
May Francisco discover pruning isn't the only gardening technique.
May your cats be healthy and immortal.
May shallow, callow Mr X's karma start hitting him up. He deserves none of your attention. But as when you lost a baby tooth you've just gotta probe that hole.
YOU ARE LAURIE! Hoorah!!

Happy birthday to us! Have a wonderful time and spoil yourself (a pedicure is a great start!).

Happy birthday Laurie-- you inspire me to keep on keepin' on.

Happy Birthday Raurie! Sitting on the patio in ratty pj's on a warm summer evening sounds pretty damned good to me. Enjoy your day.

Happy birthday. You will have a better year. Perhaps the best year ever!

I had to do a double-take when I read your post. Married? That ass-monkey got MARRIED a MONTH after your divorce and didn't have the balls to tell you? (well, of course not--he should be ashamed of himself!)

Good riddance, I say. As others have mentioned, they deserve each other.

In the meantime, enjoy your solitude--your freedom to be who you want to be, do what you want to do, without worrying about what anyone else thinks or wants from you.

And have a wonderful, wonderful birthday. :-)

In the long run, you'll come out ahead of all this. I believe we need to grieve the loss before we get involved with another person. It sounds like you are sifting thru and truly finding yourself. Smart gal. I hope you have a very happy birthday. Love your kitties.

Happy Birthday Laurie!!!! I just know 3-5 is going to be the best year ever!

Happy Birthday! You really have come a long way from when you first started this blog. Enjoy yourself and have a fabulous day!

Hi there birthday girl :)
Do you realize that comments came in all night long for you? (Im in CA too), there was a period between 1 and 3 that didn't see much action, but, the point I'm trying to make is that even when you sleep (insomnia aside)you are connecting with people from all over the world who are immediately drawn to you, your kitties and your adventures.
My wonderfully hippie mom used to put me to bed with "who loves you" as a child...basically listing "and mommy loves you, and daddy loves you...." until I fell asleep - often adding the names of every Sesame Street character just to fill time.
Your 'who loves you' goes on and on (all night in fact)
Something MrX will never be able to claim.
(I meant the love part - not in a dirty way - oh well it's 6 and I'm at work - give me a break)
I'll leave some room for everyone else now :)

Happy Birthday, Dear Auntie Purl!
I hope you have a lovely day, and I hope you get that pony that every girl has asked for at some birthday or another! :-)

And I hope you have many more fabulous birthdays to come. I'm sure you will.

And Mr. X, well, he isn't worth commenting on. Your mother is right, and you are so wise to have realized all the things you have realized over the last year.

Hey, drink some bubbly when you get that pedicure!

Happy Birthday Laurie! Have a great day! :) I am going to sip some good ol' South Carolina sweet tea and sit on my back patio in honor of you today!
Enjoy your day chica!

Happy birthday, Laurie. It's a great time to settle in and get ready for the second half.

Laurie,
Have a wonderful birthday and please don't look back....look ahead. We all love you!
Terri

Happy 35th birthday!

I hope you have a great day.

Happy Birthday Laurie!! You have come a long way and should be so PROUD of yourself. Cheers!

B-day cyber hugs!

Laurie,
Happy, happy birthday!!!! Mr. X didn't deserve to have you as his wife, and doesn't deserve to have you as an ex. You're too good for him.

Enjoy your day, and try not to let the thought of Mr. X in for any of it--he doesn't deserve that either.

Lots of love to you today, baby!

Happy Birthday.
35 is just the beginning. :)

Laurie, today is the first day of the best of your life!
If someone had told me the year I turned 35 how much my life would change, I would have NEVER believed them. It is subtle, you might not recognize the little changes, but trust me....each year is better. One day you will find yourself smiling because you did something you would have never done in your 20s and you'll feel this confidence you didn't know you were capable of. You will remember that feeling!

I am looking at 49 in two months. Yes, 50 has an jolt to it, but I know I can handle it. My 40's have been so great that I look forward to being 50.

Mr. X remarried? He remarried because he is incapable of being alone. Especially if he did it so soon. Mourn the loss of the man you fell in love with, but not the man he became.

Life begins today!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Mine is exactly one week after yours. Are you going to make the cats where party hats? ;-)

Happy Birthday Laurie!
My favorite saying: You can't turn back the clock but you can wind it up again.
This works for many situations

(I am sorry for sounding so Oprah) You have come so far. I am amazed by your strength, your calm and your ability to let the scared or angry or sad in, examine it and figure it out. Own it. You're an inspiration, girl.

Happy Birthday, Laurie! If you do make the cats wear party hats, I want to see pictures. :) Rock on!

Happy Birthday!

Nothing wrong with having the love of an animal (even if they only love you because you're their slave).

Laurie,

It wasn't that you were interchangeable, it's that Mr. X figured that if he replaced you, he would "fix" whatever it was that was making him unhappy. In other words, he hasn't even begun to deal with his issues, and I suspect this relationship may not fare well either.

Regardless, you're in a much better place, because you are examining and learning and when you find another relationship, you'll better understand what you want from it. Being single and whole is a great thing to take into the next relationship, rather than cheating your way into it, as he and she did.

I think all of us who have come to know you through your blog know that Mr. X gave up something rather precious when he left you.

Happy 35th, Laurie. Here's to a great year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURIE!!!
I think 35 is the PERFECT age and I wish I could go back to it...
who knows why men are the way they are?? I've always said it's the "Y" chromosome. It makes you scream " WHY WHY WHY!!"....
And who is this person who is giving you reports on your ex?? I don't know that I would be friends with them...
and he'll get tired of the new one too... wait and see.....
and here you are now... with hundreds of folks BEGGING you to write a book and even being quoted in WSJ!
What a year it's been...what a year it will be...
hang on for a wild ride!!
Love ya Laurie!! (and HAPPY BIRTHDAY again!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My favorite saying: You can't turn back the clock but you can wind it up again!

live well.

ld

Happy birthday to you! And I agree with all who have already pointed out that a nice porch, comfy pj's, and a feline friend or two sounds like a pretty delightful evening.

Hi Laurie--

Long-time reader, first-time poster:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

You know if you can connect with this many people--you are doing something right. May all your birthday wishes come true.

Happy Birthday!

I think its interesting that Mr X had to remarry again so quickly. It seems he is the kind of person who can't be alone. He needs "someone" there - to clean his socks and to stoke his ego. You on the other hand - are much better off. You are discovering who you are - with or without someone else.

You will find that special someone one of these days and know that he loves "you" - and that he doesn't want to just be with "someone".

Mr X - on the other hand - he just wants "someone" to clean his socks!

-Jody

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Reading your entry today took me back in time. My ex-husband remarried very quickly after our divorce as well, and I had those exact feelings. I was "okay" being alone, but I felt so insignificant, so replaceable.
Thanks for putting that into words.
Hope you have a great birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

Some days are up and some days are down, that is just part of the roller coaster ride of life. Know this is just a speed bump, and you are well on your way to getting back on track with your life on your terms, and no one else's. That is a wonderful thing.

Happy Birthday to you!! I have been lurking on your web log for quite a while and love it!!! You make me laugh and cry. It keeps on getting better. Enjoy your day.

Happy Birthday to you. x

Happy Birthday my Crazy Aunt Purl!! Here's to hoping that you have many more!

Happy Birthday, Laurie! Have a great one!

And thank you for being, and sharing. I'm not sure you realize how many people you help and inspire just by being here. You're a very special lady.

Oh, dear.
Well, most importantly have a stupendously ridiculous birthday!

Obviously this chachi to whom you were once wed has absolutely no clue what marriage is all about nor has any respect for the sanctity of marriage. Therefore, someone needs to kick him in the balls. Wouldn't that be a great birthday gift?

xoxo

Happy Birthday to you!

I know how you feel - my ex decided to call me to rub it in that he "had changed" and had never been happier in his life, was making so much money and was getting married for the 3rd time(!), less than a year after our divorce. Yeah, whatever buddy! I told him that I would rather be happy than rich and hung up on him, as I knew it wouldn't last long. Good riddance. All I can do is laugh now - and know that my life is MINE and I do what I want and don't have any regrets!!! (Boys are idiots!!!)

Happy Birthday to my favorite daily read. When I first discovered your blog, I went back and read all that I had missed. So it all kind of ran together. Like the Harry Potter books because I read the first three in one week. Thank you for all that you have given to all of us. I hope this year is everything that you want and need it to be. Today and every day, I wish for you everything that you wish for yourself.

Happy Birthday from sunny Prince Edward Island!!!Hope you enjoy your day.

Happy Birthday Laurie!

I'm wishing you the best this year - and hopefully the universe will find it doesn't need to remind you anymore that Mr. X is a loser. You know this already! And he may have just as quickly filled that job opening your mom is right about. "Once a dog, always a dog" a friend says, but I think that's very unfair to dogs.

Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your pedicure, coffee and peaceful autonomy.

Happy Birthday Laurie! Your blog is a daily read for me and I am continually amazed at your insights and your vulnerability to share them with all of us. Thank you! And hey, don't forget that you're not ever alone -- you have all of us here in blogland who love you and consider you our friend! :-) Have a great day today!

Your mother is absolutely right about that job opening now that your creepy ex has remarried. And I think it was Mary from Boston who said he's still searching for something to make him happy.

Yeah. Getting remarried so quickly seems rather needy doesn't it? (on the other hand, my ex moved in with his "woman friend" 10 years ago when he walked out on me and he hasn't married her. i would love to ask her what she thinks that means? not good enough to marry?)

That man is seriously self-centered/narcissistic. She'll find out that karma has a way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it. Trouble is, when he cheats on her, he won't be the one suffering. Hope for early erectile disfunction!

1. I love you.

2. Happy Birthday.

3. Washing your own socks is that much more enjoyable when they're hand-knit.

Happy Birthday! You deserve all of the best and seem to be in a happy place!

Relax and enjoy.

There's still time to buy a fiesta red chip n dip platter, and sail it through their front window. And take comfort in this--you no longer have to tolerate his family.

Bonne anniversaire,
Nos voeux les plus sinceres,
Que ces quelques fleurs vous apportent le bonheur,
Que la vie entiere vous soit douce et legere,
Et que, l'an fini, nous soyons tous reunis.

I would put in the accent marks, but the comment software would take them out and make the words look strange. Happy birthday, Laurie. No, it's not all sweetness and light, but that just makes it more precious somehow.

Happy Birthday Laurie and many returns of the day.

Liza {who'd love to sit outside at night on the patio in her jammies, too cold for that here though}

Happy birthday, dear Laurie!

Gotta wonder how stupid a female can be. If wife #2 was pursuing mr ass wipe(as someone dubbed him) while he was married to you, does she not think he could not be easily pursued again?

35 is a great age! Wish I was there again instead of getting ready to hit the big 39+1 in July! You should be able to look back at the past year and feed damn proud of all you've accomplished!

Thank you for being who you are and writing the way you do!

good god here's hoping they're not coming to cleveland! I hope people out there have enough sense to NOT come to Cleveland!

but if you came to cleveland laurie, I'd sure try to show you a good time.

happy birthday!

Happy Birthday, Laurie. May it mark the beginning of an all-out fabulous year for an all-out fabulous (and inspiring) woman.

Happy Birthday, Laurie! I know you will have a great year. Someone who could truly connect with all these people deserves all the happiness you can hold. And if anything could have told you how different you and Mr. X had become, married a MONTH after the divorce was it. My mind can't wrap itself around that. Have a great birthday!

happy birthday to my favorite blogger!

i loved this post. listening to crickets in the dark and enjoying the serenity of the moment...you have arrived.

Happy birthday! I hope for you that 35 will be the best year yet.... many blessings...

dear crazy aunt purl,
this is the first time i have posted a comment on any blog -- EVER. but after reading your entry this morning, i had to wish you a happy birthday and tell you how proud i am of you, how far you've come, how amazing your journey has been. you are an inspiration, and also, so darn funny that sometimes i make snorting noises when i laugh. may you have the happiest of birthdays, 35 is a very very good year and you will have more of them. they truly get better all the time, which i can say at 37, ahem. i too have had to visit divorce land, where there are no good hotels and it rains all the time, and yes, it sucked bad and yet here i am, happy in my own skin. and you are too! since it's only 7am-ish, i raise my coffee in a birthday toast to you. happy birthday, happy life. now get yourself down to a yarn store and buy yourself some gorgeous yarn, something so soft it will be like knitting butter and savor every minute and make yourself a beautiful scarf. you deserve it. and please squeeze those cats for me, i love to see their pictures and i'm glad they are around to love you. (even if it's disguised as food-giver love)
happy happy day to you.
nicole

Happy birthday, sweetie! Enjoy your peaceful day off!

Turning 35 is just the beginning of some of the best years of your life. You've become so much wiser in just the past year; can you even imagine how much smarter you'll be over the next few years??

Thank you so much for sharing yourself with all of us. You mean so very much to me and every day I look forward to hearing how you're doing. Enjoy this special day and know that there are TONS of us sending hugs and happy thoughts JUST FOR YOU!!!

Let me guess: her name was Creativity.

This is probably going to get lost in the other comments, but hey, what the heck...

Happy 35th, anyway. Pamper yourself silly.

Getting in line: Happy Bday Laurie! I've read you every day since pretty much the beginning (but haven' commented much - shy!) and just love ya! Mwah!

"Mourn the loss of the man you fell in love with, but not the man he became."

Great comment RobinV! I hope you don't mind if I use it once in a while ;) - B

Happy happy birthday, CAP! Tonight, I will drink a glass of wine in honor of one of my favorite bloggers

Happy Birthday, Laurie! Wishing you the best year, ever!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You should get anything you want because you deserve it. Love ya!

Happy Birthday Laurie,

I just discovered your blog and you inspired me to start my own. You have incredible insight and a wonderful way of sharing your life. I felt such a connection to you right away. You lay your soul out for the world and let us see how much in common all women share. It is funny how I just fell upon your blog at the same time I am taking a women studies class. It's titled Desperate Housewives and is hysterical and true. Mostly we watch and analyze movies. Diary of a Mad Housewife, Kramer vs Kramer, Stepmom, An Unmarried Woman, etc. etc. etc.What makes the woman in this movie so desperate? She seems to have everything: The successful husband (even if he's cheating), the bright children, the lovely home, great friends. Why the hell isn't she happy? Well, the bottom line, is that in this country, WIFE means somebody else's helpmate. Women are often stripped of their identities when they marry. We become Mrs. So and So. What he does, becomes more important. The thing is, until we really look at things critically...we don't even know what hits us. I wish I'd taken this course 10 years ago when I was divorced. I was left feeling like I had no identity, no worth (without a man). It took me a long time to muddle through it and be where I am today. One thing I do have to say though, dating was fun...At 36 I was not ready for anything serious...no even close, so I just started going out to have fun. I see so many women who feel like they need to be connected to a man to feel complete. I was so encouraged when you shared in your post that you enjoyed your own company. That is so awesome. I won't go on more for now. It's about 90something out and I need to do dog duty before Fernando gets here (I had to laugh at your Francisco posts LOL) Fernado is my Hispanic Fabio - I could watch him mow the lawn all day! Love you to you and Happy Happy Birthday!

Have a lovely, lovely birthday, filled with wine and cats and contentment.

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday and greetings from Finland! I´ve been stalking your life for a couple of weeks now, when I by chance first saw your site. I had no idea that knitting is so great (and addictive). And the fact that you live in LA and make woolen hats and scarfs...hilarious. Here in Finland you really need those, there can be months and months snow and frost, but in LA... Except now it is really warm, I sit on my patio (with my cats) and raise my wineglass to you!

(P.S. Do you think Roy could be partly siamese? He has some siamese features. Love your cats and hate mr X)

Happy birthday darling! I turn 36 on Sunday - it's the best time of year for birthdays (presents every 6 months!) and you sound like you're doing great.

As for the remarriage...I have one comment..."No, no...I mean it this time, I really do."

Ahem.

First, "Happy Birthday"! But become like a fine wine. It gets better with age. As hard as life sometimes deals one, I try to remember there is probably someone out there whose life is worse. Not that this might help, but I hope it does some. It doesn't help to get annoyed, because the only one that is annoyed is you. He can't rule your life anymore, don't let him.

First, "Happy Birthday"! But become like a fine wine. It gets better with age. As hard as life sometimes deals one, I try to remember there is probably someone out there whose life is worse. Not that this might help, but I hope it does some. It doesn't help to get annoyed, because the only one that is annoyed is you. He can't rule your life anymore, don't let him.

Beautiful post (but that not unusual for you). Thank you for reminding me to be grateful to be alive, even if I don't have everything I want.

Happy Birthday!

hope you are still sleeping on your birthday morning. have a wonderful and relaxing day!

Weird suggestion: Try singing along to "All That Jazz", and scream out during the line: "No, I'm no one's wife, but Oh! I love my life and All. That. Jazz". Happy Birthday.

Even though i'm commenter #142, I hope you're still reading.......

First, Happy Birthday!
Second, what a complete jerk! Married? Hmph!
Third, check your mailbox (Ventura Blvd). I sent you a present.
Fourth, I got one of those french pedicures with the white little tips at the end of your toes & I just CAN NOT STOP looking at my feet. I highly reccommend it.

We love you, Purl! Happy 3-5! Hope it's the best year ever and you have plenty of garlicky dates & Trader Joe's parking lot get-togethers!

:)

I can believe he is married again--in my 57 years I have seen it over and over again. The interesting and ridiculous part of the whole thing is that they think they are "special" and they are really just sad common little cliches. Nothing so very unique about them.

You are so not a cliche Laurie! Happy Birthday--enjoy your freedom, give all the kitties a big hug--especially your Roy Toy--now HE is special!

Happy Birthday, Laurie! I will have a glass of wine (or five) in your honor.

im pretty far down on the list of Birthday wishes, but ill say them anyway. its the least i can do for someone who makes me laugh first thing in the morning at my desk. and gives me pictures of pretty boy Roy and the Bobster. and for someone who loves cats but cant have them in her apartment complex, its nice to see cat faces on an almost daily basis.

Happy Birthday! for your birthday you got the realization that-

Mr. X is too weak a person to face his existence.

He is too dependent on having a person around to make distraction, to give him something to fill his days.

He is unable to fully grasp his life.

As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. you have made your life more worth living by stopping to examining the details of it all. and you are a better person for it.

Wishing a happy full year ahead; Happy Birthday. You are a gem to all of us

That is one incredible piece of writing! In the year and a half that I have been reading this blog, your use of words has really grown. This particular entry really sums up and exhibits these changes, both in your writing and your personal growth. A very happy birthday to you! =)

Happy B-Day, CAP! Hope you have a wonderful day.

As for Mr. X, I don't pretend to understand men, but in my experience I thought of the remarrying as turning the page and closing that chapter of life. It was already the end of the chapter, and now it was on to the next! And who knew what was in store--so exciting!

About the sitting with things, maybe that’s a “Cancer” trait or a “woman” trait because I do the same. I sit, examine, and analyze.....to death.

Good luck to you! LOVE your blog==btw!

Dear sweet Aunt Purl, I was on my front porch last night too. Reading a marvelous book, eating an ice cream sandwich, cats were prowling around (they're night creatures, don'tcha know). Life is good. I can do as I damn well please and that is a great feeling. Think I'll get a pedicure too since I have a party to attend this weekend. I'm glad you're getting those tears out. More room on the outside. Love you.

Very Happy Birthday Laurie
I've kept up with your blog and I think it's wonderful how far you've come.
Believe me, it only gets better! :)
Wishing you a joyous year!

Congratulations on the birthday and on the peace of mind. Sometimes when you are on the journey all you can think about is how much it sucks. Then when you are on the other side of that particular challenge you think "Wow, that was pretty cool the way I did that". Well done.

Happy Birthday, Laurie. I hope the coming year is good to you. You are better than ever!

Wow, a month? There's a joke about quickness to achieve premature conclusions here, but I'm not sayin' it. (If one looks at marriage as the end of dating, which it is, outside of the therapy-conscious)

Happy 35th year on this lovely planet! May your cats be well and happy, take their medicines easily and land all they drop inside the litterbox...

My husband just found your blog url in his PR trade magazine and said "do you know her?" I said "no" and looked you up. I now adore you and your blog. Happy Birthday--I turned 35 last year. It's not so bad, just another year. Here's to you!

Happy Birthday, Laurie!!!

That guy, that ex is so icky. :/ Love your Mom's saying. Very Fitting.

I hope you have a kickass day! I'll have a drink later in your honor.... sure I'd have had one anyway, but this way I may have a second one. :P

*HUGS*

Happy 35th Birthday, Laurie! I wish for you love, happiness, and peace. Also, knitting success, plenty o' kitty purrs, good conversations on the bus, laughter with friends, another encounter at Trader Joe, a raise at work, a plant that survives Fernando's clippers, and oh, can't forget the wine. Lots of good red wine. Or white. Whatever your preference. Really, you deserve the best, CAP!

Is it wrong to hope that Mr. X's "fiesta red chip and dip platter" is one of those old Fiestaware dishes coated with uranium?

Happy Birthday, Laurie. Best. Year. Ever. I see it coming. :)

Happy 35th Laurie! May your special year be filled with good friends, cuddly cats and much yarn.

Feliz Treinta Cinco Cumpleaño
A spanish birthday song for a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul.

Que linda esta la manana
En que vengo a saludarte
Venimos todos con gusto
Y placer a felicitarte

El dia en que tu naciste
Nacieron todas las flores
Y en la plia del bautismo
Cantaron los ruisenoreas

Ya viene amaneciendo
Ya la luz del dia nos vio
Levantate de manana
Mira que ya amanecio

Oh, wow, ya'll!! Yopu are spoiling me!! I LOVE YOU, you are all pretty, come over and let's sit on the patio! It is only 8:23 a.m. and I have never in my entire life had so many funny and lovely and happy wishes, oh thank you so much!

I MUST investigate how to put birthday hats on the felines. heh heh

If he remarried that quickly, it won't last. That man doesn't have issues, he has a lifetime subscription and the other woman is going to find out the hard way that it wasn't about her at all.
Happy birthday - you're going to be just fine. In fact, five years from now, you're going to look back and see a life infinitely richer and happier than your happiest day with scumbucket, I promise you. Take it from someone who's been there, done that. He never deserved you in the first place, the weak little man.

First, Happy Birthday. Second, you are a beautiful, talented writer (book deal?) Third, take care of yourself. Last, I hope you have a lifetime of birthdays confident in the knowledge that you can take care of yourself.

First things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Eat a whole cake or drink TWO bottles of wine or buy lots of expensive yarn -- whatever makes you happy on your special day.

Better days? These ARE the better days. Celebrate this life with all its flawed humanity and outrageous glory and, sometimes, loneliness...it's the only one you'll get.

Happy Birthday, Laurie! There was an earlier comment that I want to repeat- You are not interchangable. You are a lovely, funny, giving (there's are many more adj., but you get the picture) person! You bring so much joy to people's day. And this year will be the best yet!
xoxoxo

Nothing new or insightful to add here, but I also wanted to chime in on the Happy Birthday wishes! I've been reading your blog for about 6 months now, and every day it makes me smile.

Best wishes for 35, and like everyone else commenting, I know you're just hitting your prime!

-Sarah and her Zoo

Happy birthday Laurie! We love you!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Laurie
Happy Birthday to you.

You write with such elegance. And such reality. I love your honesty and your ability to make us really feel what you feel. Thanks for sharing. Enjoy pampering yourself.

Didn't get to read yesterday, so I'll just say Happy 35th year and hope that it gets better and better. Sounds like you're ready for it and in my experience that's when good things start to happen. You have to get through the emotional turmoil and grieve and rant before you can pick yourself up and say, okay. Enough. And then the happiness floods in. Love to the cats too. Oh, and the ex? He's shown what he's truly like. You KNOW in your heart of hearts you're better off without him. Feel sorry for her!

A very Happy Birthday to you!
Only the people who occasionally stop and take stock of their life are the ones who truly grow and better themselves. You have that gift of self reflection.

Laurie - Have a crazy-happy birthday!

And I can and can't believe Mr. X got remarried. Shows what an idiot he is, how naive Wife #2 is, and that it won't last cuz he never learned anything from your marriage (good or bad).

Consider it your gift that he has someone to wash his socks, though -- you know he won't turn up on your doorstep again.

Please tell Roy I he has to be nice to you and not hork up flowers in your bed because it's your special day. And send picture of the 3-5 nails.

I know you probably hate it when people say this but honestly, you are better off without Mr. X. You're 35 years old, have great cats, good job, cute house, etc. Enjoy it while you can! Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday!

I've been lurking for quite a while and I gotta say I LOVE the way you write. Your words have so much truth it hurts!

Hope you have a damn good year,

All the best!

PS. The way the male mind works is unbelievable. Really.

Happy Birthday Laurie!!!

First of all, a very very VERY Happy Birthday!!

Secondly, thank you for sharing such a beautiful post. I'll be 38 soon. At 35, I was halfway through grad school, living alone in Brooklyn with my 3 cats. Within a year, things had changed dramatically, and even more so this year (masters degree, husband, 6 additional cats, move to a different state...)

As for mr. x...karma works!!

Enjoy your day :)

Hello crazy Aunt Purl,
I don't think I've ever had the cajones to leave you a comment before. But I love reading your blog. I like the happy things you write about, the sad things you write about, the animals (both 2 & 4 legged) that you write about and all your knitting news.

I haven't left a comment before because (compared to you) I guess I don't have much to say, and if I did, I couldn't say it as well as you (bless my heart). But that's all changed!

First, I am SO HAPPY that it's your bithday!! I just had mine about 3 weeks ago. I was 35 (for the 7th?? time). Who cares, it's just a number. Birthdays are great because honey - IT's ALL ABOUT YOU! It's about YOU being HERE and obviously A LOT of people are very happy about that because look at these postings!! I don't worry too much about my age because I am just thankful that I am not still 20-something and STUPID (or at least as stupid as I was when I was 20)!! Bless my heart, again.

Second, with regards to Mr. & Mrs. Douche Bag, as you said, he will cheat on her as well. Or, even worse, maybe he won't and she'll just be stuck with him for the rest of her life. For some reason, I don't really see that as a GOOD thing. I think it's lose/lose either way.

Third, I have a little magnet attached to my cube wall that says it all: "If you can't be happy with what you've received, be glad for what you've escaped." Amen, sister!

Have a FABULOUS birthday and enjoy yourself immensely. Crazy or not-so-crazy, we all love you! I have a feeling that 35 is going to be a spectacular year and I can't wait to read all about it!

Take Care

I was in a very similar situation, and it doesn't matter if you've moved on, finding out your ex has hastily remarried will set your heart racing and re-breaking. I wandered around for days bumping into the furniture mumbling "He's someone else's husband. He's someone else's husband." Then, all of a sudden (maybe one of those bumps knocked some sense into me) the initial shock and hurt wore off, and it turned into "He's someone else's problem. He's someone else's problem." Because, honestly, anyone who will cheat WITH you will cheat ON you.

Happy birthday, Laurie!

From one GRIT (Girls Raised In The South) to another, Happy Birthday! I suggest you do what my mother in law did to her ex-hubby's new wife....Send her a "Thank You" card!!! Yes she did! We've enjoyed that one for YEARS!!
Have a great pedicure!!

Melissa
In Mississippi

thank you :)

Happy Birthday, Laurie!
Have a lovely day and don't forget that you're surrounded by the love of your friends, family and cats.

Ah Laurie. I'm sorry about the remarriage thing. I can relate to that "I'm so easily replaced" feeling. When my 14 yr relationship was ending, my ex and I were still living together while we tried to sell the house, split the finances, etc. WHILE STILL LIVING TOGETHER, he hooked up with someone. A friend actually. Yeah. 5 years later they are still together. (Of course, they are living in the basement of his parent's house .... in Kansas. So ... there ya go! ;))

But hang tough. You have REALLY, REALLY come a long way! It has been amazing to see. I raise a toast to you (unfortunately, it's only with a Starbuck's frapuccino at this early work hours but it's the thought that counts, right?! :)) for this Your 35th Birthday!!! CHEERS!

What a guy. Like my ex, thinking of "wife" as a kind of appliance. If one breaks, you can always get newer model. Once when my son was about 6 or 7, he said how his dad couldn't take him on Halloween, though it was his turn that year, because "he's going to meet some lady and see if he wants to marry her or not." He'd gone to some dating service, and was checking out the goods as though he were going through job applicants. When he got into a spot of money, he blew it all on a flight to Ukraine in answer to one of those loser ads that say, "Meet Russian Women!"

Difference is he still can't get a relationship together. Still hasn't found someone as naive as I was when I met him. Still underemployed.

Sorry for hijacking the comments for my pathetic story. I've moved on. I'm glad that you have, too. Happy, happy birthday! And happy, happy life!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHOO-VIS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Much love,

MAMA PURL

happy birthday!! why are your comments not working on the new post???

Honey, if Mr. X knew just how many women would gladly see him strung up by his toes and suffer all the tortures of hell, he would be TERRIIFIED to ever leave his house again!

Happy Birthday Beautiful! May you carry with you the love and support of all the people who's lives you have touched.

It's your day. Be greedy!

Happy birthday girl! I'm glad I've gotten to
"know" you over the last year of reading your
blog. You make me smile and cry and feel and that's a good thing. That's what it's all about, right? Have a great birthday!

CHOOVIS? Laurie, you have some 'splaining to do!!

Just kidding!

Happy Birthday wishes!!

wow. Happy B-day. Remarried?!? I've been reading your blog for over a year, I'm stunned (and, somehow, not stunned) that he remarried. I feel sorry for wife #2

Happy Birthday, Miss Laurie!

His getting married so soon just proves how incapable he is to be in the world on his own two feet.

Sending many birthday kisses, hugs and happy thoughts your way!!! You don't look a day over 28. :D

Happy B-day! May you enjoy the heck out of life. As for Mr. X: WTF? He must have been embarassed to invite you to the wedding because you are so much funnier, sweeter, more together, and prettier than the bride. He didn't want to have to explain why he dumped you. By all means, send the Thank You.

I just wanted to thank you for such a gorgeous post. Hope you have a very happy birthday!

Cats, however misbehaving, are far superior to any dead-beat, no-class spouse. Happy birthday, and I wish you the best!

Dear CAP,

Have the happiest birthday ever! 35 is a good year. I'm not very profound today, but please know that you have touched my tough little ticker many many times.

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, Laurie! You've grown so much as a human being, and you're right, life will just keep improving. I hope you've elected to take your birthday off and enjoy your day with your cats, your patio, your garden, and perhaps even your knitting.

Hugs,
Helen

Have a great birthday, even if it includes sitting on your own and enjoying the silence. The pedicure sounds pretty good too :)

Happy, happy birthday, Laurie.

And from one writer to another ... I wish I'd written your post.

Happy birthday!
I'm halfway through 35 myself, and I'm totally enjoying it. What everyone says about aging equals not giving a crap about what people think of you is true.
Mr. X is HER problem now. Just like my Mr X is now the problem of the 22 year old twinkie he ran off with nearly two years ago, while I was at home with our 11 month old. And I'm pretty sure your ex's new household isn't all sunshine and lollipops. My ex spent a whole year and a half trying to get back together with ME while he was with HER! (I never ever took him back) I'll bet he never told the twinkie about that! And God only knows what else he's done behind her back.
Meanwhile, like you, I've spent the past couple of years licking my wounds, and doing my own thing, and am now actually happy for the first time in years. My life is so much better now. His leaving was truly a blessing.
Your Mr. X's defection to Mrs. Moron is a blessing, too.

Happy birthday, Laurie and I hope this year brings you peace and contentment.

35. It's only a beginning, as is every new year.

That doesn't mean it isn't worth saying you're celebrating the 6th anniversary of your 29th birthday. (I'm approaching my 15th anniversary celebration and loving every minute of it).

Enjoy IKEA, colorful plastic Swedish stuff is a great way to celebrate.

Laurie,

You have touched me in so many ways with your words. I have felt every emotion you have, although our situations are different. I use you as my barometer. To see if you feel what I have felt (the "am I normal?" check) and to see what will be coming for me. You are an amazing woman that touches sooo many you don't even realize, since most of us lurk/stalk. And we are ALL pulling for you.
I've got 5 more months of being 35 and it is getting better and better, while I dread 36, I'm no longer scared of it. Every day above ground is a good day! (Try to tell myself that-LOL)

Have a wonderful birthday and rest of the year!
Kat

Happy Birthday!!!

I've been a reader for awhile, just wanted you to know how much a southerner enjoys reading your blog. Happy Birthday!

Laurie, I hope you're having a wonderful birthday!!

I'm so glad that we've all gotten the opportunity to send you happy messages and commiserations. It feels nice to give something back to someone who's entertained us with her thoughts and experiences for so long. I recently started my own blog (after a series of other online diaries that came to their natural conclusion) partly because it felt like this would make up for the fact that I had been blog-stalking you and others over the years. It's great to be able to read about other people's lives and even better to open up a little window into one's own, even the ugly stuff. Fifty years ago, we probably all would have been holed up in our attics at a typewriter trying to write the Great American Novel. I think the endless variety of free blogs is a vast improvement, both for writers and for people who love to read.

And, like everyone else it seems to me that the answer to Mr. X's quick marriage is simply that he's an emotional cripple. The very fact that he could move on so quickly, and even more egregiously, WITHOUT GUILT, shows how very screwed up he is.

Happy birthday!!!

Happy birthday, Laurie! Your wit, sensitivity and heart are well worth celebrating this beautiful June day. Hope you have a great one!

Happy Birthday from me, too!! I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said once or twice or 20 times, but celebrate yourself and have a wonderful day!

And I really, REALLY like the idea of sending the new wife a Thank-you card. Or you could send them a 'congratulations on your wedding' card...it would drive them crazy!! He is pond scum, and he'll cheat on her too (probably already is).

GIRL - how many birthday wishes can a girl get?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

You are SO loved! and you are an inspiration! I have just learned that my Ex and his Wh*re are going to be at a wedding I'm going to in a couple weeks and I considered not going. But a few good CAP-like friends kicked my arse and straightened me out! Yay friends!

I will go and I will look HOT and I will have fun and he will see what he gave up and eventually one of those fools will cheat on the other since that's what they do oh-so-well!

Have a great birthday! and please, be very very careful when attempting the party hats on the kitty kats. (and you wonder why Soba is planning an attack? hrmph)

Oh, gawd, good for you, Laurie! When I grow up, I want to be like you (minus the four cats). 3-5? I have three years to get my shit together then. In the meantime, I'll be with you in spirit, washing that man right outta your socks.

Happy Birthday Laurie. I enjoy your blog so much. It's another special way that women can communicate with each other--becoming online friends. Your honesty with yourself is amazing. I'm positive that good things are ahead for you. Believe me, 35 is just the beginning of the good times. I'm 52 and life is great!

Happy Birthday!
Congratulations on surviving and thriving in year three-five and best wishes for year three-six.

Happy Happy birthday to a woman who really "gets" life. Someone once told me when I was devastated over my ex fiance leaving me, that the universe plucks bad people out of our lives for our own good when we don't have the strength (for whatever reason) to do it ourselves. and honey is that ever true! What kid of idiot woman would marry a man whose ink wasn't dry on the divorce decree yet? A no good dumb ass slag, that's who. and what kind of man could leave 4 adorable cats and a gorgous sweet wife without turning around to pause? A man so buried in his own denials that he isn't capable of feeling deeply or thinking of others with empathy the way a realman or woman of depth would. Good riddance to the 2 of those pathetic pieces of ditzy denial slags.(am i harsh or what?? but so true so true!!!) You my dear were saved by the guardian angels of the universe(yes I am serious,no I am not insane) and you will be the happy one in the end of all this crap and those 2 slags will bring their individual lying cheating bile from all their denials into that joke of a marriage of theirs and they will pay the price dearly for all the hurt they have caused. Amen.When it's time, you will find a real man. What is a real man? One who doesn't run, lie, cheat, steal or freak out when he has to communicate about things other than sports or work. One who does not behave cruely towards others for any reason. One who likes his mother but isn't dependent on her. some one who let the damn paper dry on a divorce cree before he has another piece of paper to sign. One who would never dream of letting you go...at least not without a noble fight. One who would at the very least want visitation rights of his children babies with or without fur. One who tries his best to to be honest with his life and self and others. now go get that cake and shine!

happy birthday! you are awesome!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURIE!!!!!!!

DO NOT FOR ONE SECOND, COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO YOUR EX'S. You are engaged in life and he is not, he just traded you in because he got to the point in life where his life was asking him to look and examine it, and he chose to book and not look, fearing what he would see. A dishonest man, who is clueless. What you have is self respect and knowledge. That carries you through the dark nights and days. And will help you to know a good thing, when he comes along. You won't be dealing from a place of fear, you already know how to take care of yourself already. You will not be like your ex, who is needing to have someone in his life, so that he does not need to look at his life. You by far are all the richer for it, though I know that some days, it feels anthing but. Chin up sweetie, you are much beloved and cherished. Hope your birthday is special and know that you are special and most talented. Love reading your entries, can always depend on them to put a smile on my face, even when things are tough. That crab shell will protect you and the softer parts. This too shall pass, and know that those of us who love you are rooting for you and behind you a bazillion percent. How can we not be, the mother of 4 who carries on, you should be damned proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know the kids are, just unwilling to tell you.

Happy Birthday, honey! You're doing great!

Happy Birthday to you!!!!! I'm not even sure how I stumbled here but my birthday is tomorrow!!!!

You are a success, honey. You can make it on your own. He remarried because he can't live with himself. Happy birthday sweetie! You've earned your happiness, and you deserve it.

Happy Birthday! I'll have a glass of wine for you while I have my birthday dinner tomorrow night!

You are such an inspiration to me. I admire your strength, resilience, and willingness to be real!

First, happy birthday from one June girl to another (mine was the 18th...turned 41...ick). Secondly, can I just say that I so relate. My not-quite-ex-yet moved in with his girlfriend less than two months after we separated this past year. We're not even divorced yet and he's been living with her and her teenage son for the past six months. But, I've watched your evolution over the past year or so and you are doing great! You give me hope that I, too, can survive this. Thanks for being such an inspiration!!

happy birthday!!! may you have many more years to come!!!!

You are phenomenal, Laurie! Just phenomenal. Happy, happy birthday!

What an asshat.

Happy birthday too. :)

Happy Birthday Laurie! 3-5 is not so bad! My birthday is coming up and I'm going to be the big f-word. (4-0)

Cancer chicks will rule the world!

Deb

Hope you had a very happy day, Laurie.

Your mom beat me to it; I said to myself, as I read your entry, marrying your mistress just creates a new vacancy. Well, he's someone else's problem now, and you have the world at your feet.

Happy Birthday, Laurie!

I found your blog a few months after you started it. You have helped so many of us with your honesty and courage. It hurts - but this Mr X stuff is not your fault. You tried to make it work and tried to understand him. Obviously he wasn't trying back. It isn't about you - it is about him and what he is missing as a person. It is probably a shock to find out what he is/has become - probably not what you thought you married. Again - his limitation, his smallness as a human being. You are not discardable - I think he is! I've been impresssed with how you have become wise and open and letting us share your life - I really admire you.

I just love your writing. I feel like i relate to you on a lot of levels. Keep it up girlie, you are doing healthy things for you and keeping people like me interested and happy to know there are other women out there feeling like I do sometimes!

Hugs!

My Darlin' Laurie,
Here's to you, celebrating your 35th birthday (I'm right there with you! 35's great!). Independant, loved by friends and many an admirer, at peace in your own head and heart. And free of any STDs that SOB might bring home from that skank-ass he "needed freedom" for.

And here's to the lil' skank ass who's stuck sleeping beside him every night:
All those lovely non-extant communication skils.

And the fabulous slow-acid etch of knowing that SHE got him because he sneaked around on his last wife the second he felt older and insecure...so it's only a matter of a few years and perhap a few pounds on her part before the acid breaks through the finish of that shiny honey-moon high-gloss, and the fretting will begin. Cuz karma's a bitch, and in her deepest of hearts she knows...if he did it FOR her...he'll do it TO her.

And the slow torture begins:"Where were you LAST night?" "Is he REALLY working late?" "Is she REALLY "just a friend?" and the slowly increasing and ever-corrosive but unacknowledged worry that each time she has a yeast infection....it might not BE a yeast infection. And she plays in her little unconsciouse mind-theater the scenario of the fateful day when her O.B. gyn will gently tell her that the lab is going to test for a "few more things". (and HE won't be immune to this torture either- ohohoho no. He's already found out that she has no scruples about chasing married men--so somewhere in the back of his mind there will ALWAYS be a suspicious look-out in case SHE might pull the same trick on HIM. Ain't no honor among thieves..no matter what they steal.

Age and circumstances don't change people. They REVEAL them. He's a cowardly double-dealing, lyin' cheatin' sack 'o shit who is too chicken-shit to face his own aging and shortcomings, so he covers them up by chasing shiny-new toys.
And that girl was stupid enough to think he'd change.

So, now that I have revealed the time-bomb of suspicion and slow rot that bastard has planted in his own life--- ain't it nice to know