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June 01, 2006
June 2006 Hor-O-Scopes
Ok ya'll. I know I wishful-horoscoped May (especially for Cancers) and I'll tell you what happened in May. BIG PILES OF CRAP. So, I have decided -- nay, I have DETERMINED, through introspection and also wine -- that June of 2006 will hereby by a glorious month full of happiness and tomfoolery and so on. And just as I set my mind to this, I discovered that this here very website was mentioned in an article on blogging, featured in the Wall Street Journal's "Personal Journal" section. On the one hand, I had to snake this section off my boss's desk out of his morning copy of the WSJ on the off chance he may take up an interest in so-called knitting blogs. On the other hand, Wall Street Journal! Maybe we can get Mars out of our Uranus after all.
Also. Here is the thing. June and July are Cancer birthday months (and Gemini, hi! yes, I know!) but I'm a Cancer and ya'll know how I can be. So. Around birthday time crabs become … melancholy? dour? moaning piles of self-loathing and pity? woe is me nobody loves me here let me eat this whole pie? I'm addressing that this month in the crab forecast. Just so you know, we're now the largest street gang in America. Hi!
Oh! I kind of went buckwild crazy with cliches this month in all the prognostications. Whoops.
- - - - - -
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
There’s no business like show business! Ya'll may think this cliché could never apply to you, but haven’t you heard the old saying “Never say never”? Your performance anxiety will vanish in June, and you’ll be the life of the party if you choose to be. That’s the catch, the old “break a leg” superstition: you will have to put yourself on display instead of sinking into the globby little pit of your inner life. Rich and exciting as that mental habitat of yours is, the only way others can appreciate it is through your risk. So -- in June, risk failure. Risk rejection. I have not seen a finer forecast in a long while, because the risks will pay off. Even if you find it uncomfortable to share your views with others, the stars say you’ll look good doing it.
PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
By fits and starts. This should aptly sum up not only June but all of the past spring, too. Two steps forward and one step back. That little snag you hit sometime in March sent you into a rather unwelcome Sisyphus-at-the-bottom-of-the-mountain phase (hah! the first time I typed that, you were syphillis at the bottom of the mountain. Which is like the WORST spring I can imagine. Except maybe Herpes at the bottom of the mountain. Or adult-onset acne. Boy I am such a good astrologer right now, aren't I? Should we discuss movies? Whether or not I should get bangs? Ok. Moving on!) Where were we, syphillus? (Ha!! never gets dull!!!) Ok. Every time you rolled the rock up to the pinnacle and felt you’d made progress, you looked back and saw the boulder on it’s slow slide down the hill again (towards Hercules/Herpes!!) Don’t despair, as long as you put one foot in front of the other you’ll soon find yourself actually making real progress mid-month, which is when this whole cycle of getting nowhere fast will end as unexpectedly as it began. Sorry about all the parentheticals. Mars in Uranus!
ARIES (March 21- April 19)
“Money, money changes everything...” But you already know that by now, don’t you? Anxiety over money, or the lack thereof, makes Aries cranky. Right now, I’m sure you’d gladly volunteer to evaluate the old cliché about money being the root of all evil, in hopes that someone would give you a big pile of dinero and let you exercise your shopping muscles. It would be like a scientific experiment, really, in which you set out to prove that money CAN IN FACT BUY HAPPINESS. I think you could start with a gold tooth, maybe some bling on your Honda Accord, a big-screen TV in the bathroom. You could go on MTV's Cribs (do they still have that show? Or is this just another way I am showing my tragically unhip self to the world?) and show us your collection of gold-plated basketballs or something. However! I advise you to back away slowly from the fantasy, and steer clear of propositions that aim to line your pocket at the expense of your soul. For you, I offer up a new Purl cliché: What good is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow if it’s all covered in poop? Even if that poop is being dispensed as you watch a giant high-def flatscreen in your poop domicile?
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Forewarned is forearmed. (Fore-armed! Four armed?) Or, better yet, in the great words of Lil’ Kim, “I’m one step ahead of all y’all haters.” June heightens the uncanny radar of the Taurus intuition. While most of your acquaintances will be stuck with the cliches of such fine rapper prognosticators as Vanilla Ice and the Lite Funky Ones, you’ll have insight and spooky psychic tremors in 2Pac proportions. (I'm listening to Power 106 right now as I write this. Sorry, it's harshing my astrological shui.) This is the month to make that little inner voice your closest confidante. Listen to your fears, because they hold a kernel of truth. Use your power of observation to stay focused, and you’ll find that recognition you both deserve and need. Of course if your little inner voice sounds like it’s coming from Elvis, seek help immediately. Otherwise, trust your gut and you won’t misstep once all month. If 2pac speaks to you, tell him I said hello and to please stop being so damn prolific from the grave. It's freaky. Makes me feel all lazy and stuff, seeing as I am alive and have no best-selling anything to my name. Yet. TAKE THAT 2PAC!!!!
GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
This month you are naked as a jaybird. Also, that is a metaphor. Unless you live in the Valley like moi and need to be buck nekkid to survive the infernal heat, hi! Almost a hundred degrees today! Your naked Gemini-truth is spread out for the world to see right now. You just survived a spring of pure indecision and uncertainty, and this summer -- June in particular -- is the time to declare yourself once and for all. That’s not to say you can’t change your mind next month, of course. What is a Gemini without constant change? But flux and indecision are two very different things -- you’ve finally reached some conclusions, and it’s time to become the person you hope to be someday. Your nagging doubt (“Am I doing the right thing?”) will never go away, it’s a fact of life. Take it from me, Cautionary Tale Girl. But I trust that you’ve reached this point through some serious soul-searching, and you -- of all people -- should know you’re right. And when you do decide to change your mind, you’ll do it emphatically. But that won’t happen until September, so forget I mentioned it.
CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
This month, you may have the feeling that you need to ask others what’s been going on in your own personal life since they’re all up in your bidness. (See me with the cool slang? That is how I roll, people. Don't hate.) Cancer folks have a knack for appearing too soft for this world, but people are always surprised (and maybe you are, too) to find that when the going gets tough, crabs get tougher. Do not mess with us, world! We will bust a claw up in yo nether regions!! I’ve always thought that the last (wo)man standing will probably be a Cancer. When it comes to clichés, we are truly born with the knowledge that success is its own greatest revenge. Learn it, live it, love it ... for this June is our month! Listen, I have a PLAN here, OK? The stars have been fucking with us for MONTHS, and I for one am sick of it. So tell me what you think: There are a WHOLE LOT OF CANCERS in this world. We're very stubborn. We can be the most tenacious and committed people you will ever meet. Right? So if we band together and put our collective weight behind this whole DO NOT MESS WITH CANCERS thing, surely June can end up being the month of me, and you, too? We'll be like ... a gang. The Cancercrips. Or something. We can have a gang sign, we can have a tattoo (or maybe just a logo? a logo would be good), we'll be rep'ing the hood down in the 12th house of KICKING ASS. What do you think? Are you in?
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
The next real holiday on the American horizon is July 4th. I never really liked July 4th as far as holidays went … it was already in the middle of summer vacation, so we didn’t get the day off school. Plus, the whole weekend was spent with minor relatives and badly charred hotdogs accompanied by mosquito bites and cool-whip topped mystery cake. But then I discovered Independence Day, an entirely different way of celebrating the 4th in which you declare your independence as a person and generally piss off those who seek to control you. It’s great fun. Take some time out in the next 34 days to think about what you’ll be declaring come stars and stripes day. Begin with swearing off cool whip when relatives are involved. Heh.
VIRGO (August 23 - Sept. 22)
When push comes to shove, Virgo will choose to stand still and yell “I don’t want to push or shove!” Be that as it may, you will find yourself in the midst of a June self-exploration that will rival the first climb of Mt. Everest. You are an explorer, discovering new ways of thinking and living, and all this enlightenment may put a wrench in your finely oiled machine. (Cliche alert!!) The surprise: you secretly like it. The cliched plot twist: you make contact with that wild alter-ego you’ve been denying. The outcome: you’ll actually evolve as a result. Everything that happens to you this month is part of a collective growth spurt. My advice: Write it down, you’ll need your notes to see how far you’ve come. Then maybe you can hook up with a Taurus, who will turn it into a rap tune and ya'll can finally outsell that crafty 2Pak.
LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
I like those little clichés that help you look for silver linings. On days when you’re feeling particularly strong and confident, you should write yourself a cliché-filled note for future reference. Start with something tried and true like “Everyone has the right to be stupid but some people abuse that right.” Once you’re on a roll you may find these clichés are so well-known for a reason ... I have a close friend whose father truly believes nothing can sum up life better than a one-line platitude. And fathers are generally right about such things (my own father's truest advice, which fits all situations? "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye." Indeed!) Your June (and the first half of July) can be summed up as follows: “Man bites dog.” (weird stuff happens.) “Live and let live.” (at least that weird stuff isn’t happening to me.) “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.” (I’m sorry weird stuff happened to you, but I gotta get on with my life.) Now put that in your pipe and smoke it!
SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
I heard it through the Pissed-Off-At-Astrology Grapevine that Scorpios were really unhappy with the way most of last month went. How do I know this? Did you not hear all the Cancers also complaining that Astrology had FAILED us, and we were giving up stars altogether, and also, hand me that bottle of Cabernet right now before I smack you upside the head with this here mean and ugly stick? So, June is here, and I know you're still kind of mad about May, but you simply cannot get revenge on a whole month, so you must let it go. The problem is of course Saturn (Damn you, fat planet of hardship!) and take it from someone who just spent seven long years wandering in the desert of Saturn, it does get better. The best thing about you and June is your real willingness to try new things to revitalize your life. It's rare that ya'll don't dissect through the consequences or results of all your actions, and this month you will feel liberated and (mostly) care-free, willing to travel to a new place, meet new people, all of it with a who-knows-what-could-happen attitude. This, Scorpio, is a very positive development. Walk lightly, and leave the mean and ugly stick for someone else. Maybe the Virgos could use it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
You know that long, uncomfortable sensation you have during a particularly engrossing movie that’s got you on the edge of your seat... not because of plot points, but because you really have to pee? Think of June as your edge-of-the-seat month. Discomfort, followed by relief, followed by some shifting from one foot to the other, followed by relaxation and so on. Perhaps that’s the “lump it” portion of the cosmos. Nothing life-altering, just the awkward stops and starts of summer's most ungainly month. There’s nothing you can do to avoid the transitional weirdness of June, but if you choose to spend more time enjoying the ride and less time bitching about the potty breaks, you’ll come out at the other end of summer with at least one great story to tell. In which case, please take your camera with you because all my Sag friends seems to find themselves in all kinds of foolishness and "this will be a great story to tell someday when I am sober and no longer have this bruise on my behind" kind of events, and I would like to see some photo documentation!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Peacemaker isn’t your favorite roll, I know you too well. It’s always easier to sit on the sidelines and watch others beat each other over the head with their proverbial big sticks. (What is it with the mean and ugly stick this month?) But right now your job, unwelcome as it may be, is to step in and be the lone voice of reason. You’re the only one firmly planted in reality right now, and by the way, this job does not pay well! Take it from a middle child! But Head Honcho Of Dispute Resolution has great benefits and growth potential. Plus, Cappies like to feel that everything has been settled and changed and happily re-charted with their expert eye, you know it's true. Luckily, you do have an expert eye when it comes to deciphering people and your heart is in the right place, so I predict that by the new moon at month's end you'll have managed to completely smooth over whatever prickly, uncomfortable issue it is that's got you in knots. Also, according to this thing called a "chart" which I am supposed to carefully read before making this wide-flung predictions, the first few weeks of June will be excellent for hanky panky, if hanky panky is present. Just so you know.
Posted by laurie at June 1, 2006 10:57 AM
Comments
Dude, you are in the Wall Street Journal today! I emailed the article to you at crazytourist (attached a PDF). Let me know if you want me to mail you the cut-out.
Posted by: Jenny at June 1, 2006 11:03 AM
LOL. I didn't even read your post. I couldn't wait to tell you.
Posted by: Jenny at June 1, 2006 11:03 AM
JENNY, I about PEED MY PANTS!!!!!!
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 11:08 AM
Ok, Saggitarius uncomfortable moment #1 is taken care of. :)
Posted by: Jenny at June 1, 2006 11:10 AM
i'm down with Cancercrips. i'm just unsure about the tattoo (afraid of needles here). can i do one of those rub-on ones? i promise not to wash it off.
may started off okay for this crab but got BATTY during its last two weeks. batty in a bad way. but now that i've moved back to the good ol' South, things will be better.
happy early birfdays to us!
Posted by: caroline m. at June 1, 2006 11:11 AM
Congratulations on the WSJ article mention. It's quite a technical article and they only mentioned two blogs that I can see, and not even the huge-ies like daily Kos. (Kind of cracks me up that they called it a knitting blog, though, because, come on, that's not why we're all reading you.)
Posted by: rb at June 1, 2006 11:11 AM
Also? I liked my horoscope better last month when I had it goin' on. (Cap.)
Posted by: rb at June 1, 2006 11:13 AM
Cancercrips? 06/22! I'm in! Don't mess with me! I am Pamela!
Posted by: Pamela at June 1, 2006 11:13 AM
Well, I'm a Scorpio, which is a blessing and a curse at times. At least this month should be better because I am Wendy.
OMG! Its so exciting to hear that you have made the big time with the WSJ! Congrats!
Posted by: Miss Wendy at June 1, 2006 11:16 AM
Kniitng? Knitting? Oh eah, there is some knitting here. Congrats on WSJ. See, June already better. National recognition and only two kitties on drugs.
Posted by: Trixie at June 1, 2006 11:16 AM
And, as ya'll are my witness, I will finish the Ugly Mystery Knitted Cat Thingamajig this month.
YOU WILL SEEE!!!!
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 11:19 AM
quick, with a short link for WSJ! i don't want to sign up.
Posted by: smokeyJoe at June 1, 2006 11:21 AM
Yeah, well this Virgo divorced the last Taurus she ended up with. Phooey! Virgo's blow this month - can't we just have fun!?!!
Posted by: Brigitte at June 1, 2006 11:22 AM
smokeyJoe, I didn't sign up either, but basically it's just some article on searching for blogs, but they mentioned this website in the first few paragrapsh. CRAZY!! I called my mom and told her, and she cried. Then she was like, "Dammit! Where on earth can I find a copy of the Wall Street Journal here in Tee Tiny Town, Florida?" LOL
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 11:23 AM
First, as a Gemini, I feel like I should start carrying a robe around with me or something. And also I would like to please have my decision issue finalized in June for my birthday definately NOT September.
I see mention of the Ugly Mystery Knitted Cat Thingamajig in the comments and am dying to see it. It must be catchy this finishing thing - I finally finished my olympic knitted scarf just Monday. Now all I have to do is take pictures - should only take a month or so.....
Posted by: cursingmama at June 1, 2006 11:28 AM
I am in. Tenacious and stubborn, yup, that's me!! The other day, someone referred to me as sweet, and I automatically snapped back, "Yes, but I've got claws!" I don't even know where that one came from, but it surprised even me! Do you feel that way sometimes, Laurie? Through all of these changes and crisis that threaten to break you, (but trust me, they will not,) do you catch a weird ass-kicking wave once in a while? Like, from out of nowhere? Cool, huh?
Congratulations on your article. I can't wait to go read it! Love you and your blog!
Posted by: cheryl at June 1, 2006 11:36 AM
CAP, you got mentioned in the WSJ? That is brilliant! Take that, Mr X!
Oh, and thanks for a cheering Scorpio horoscope. Last month was grim grim grim and I'm trusting your word that this month will be better! ;)
PS: Don't let Soba see the WSJ article. She'll think it's all about her and get a big head.
Posted by: Martigny at June 1, 2006 11:38 AM
Paragraph 3 of article:
"Ask.com's new blog search, which is available through blogsearch.ask.com and also through Bloglines.com, aims to let consumers sift through mountains of material by creating its index from member subscriptions, which includes content from mainstream media sites like MSNBC Entertainment, popular blogs like Instapundit.com, and niche sites like CrazyAuntPurl.com, a blog on knitting."
Posted by: rb at June 1, 2006 11:39 AM
Fellow Crabby-pattie here! I'm with you on the CancerCrips. I too are a very mellow, laid-back person until I am messed with. Just ask my husband and kids.
I just adore your hor-o-scopes; how do you write so much amazing stuff in the morning?? I'm on the east coast and could never come up with such great stuff so early in the morning. Or later in the day. Certainly not at night.
Congrats on the WSJ...I'm going to get my dh to steal someone's copy from work. Let me know if you want me to snail-mail it to you.
Don't you think that CancerBloods sound scarier? Just a thought.
Posted by: Liz R at June 1, 2006 11:39 AM
Cheryl, see 'Just one little story' in the March 2006 archives. That should answer your question. hehehehe
Posted by: Jenny at June 1, 2006 11:41 AM
Money may not buy happiness, but it would buy me a home where I could live happily. I don't need gold, fancy cars or electronics. Just my own home where I could poop in peace.
Cograts darling, you deserve a round of applause and loud cheers.
!!!!!YEA LAURIE!!!! YOU THE BOMB!
Posted by: psychomom at June 1, 2006 11:43 AM
::clicks crabclaws in appreciation, like beat poet snaps yo:: As a fellow Cancerian (though with a Sag Asc/Moon) I love you. Rrrawrrrr!
Posted by: moiraeknits at June 1, 2006 11:45 AM
"Niche"? You're in a *niche*?? I suppose it's a good place for a goddess. You're smack in the middle of my mainstream, though. Congrats on the WSJ!
One step forward, two back... yeah, that's the dance I've been doing lately. I've been in a major knitting funk. May it end soon, Mars or no Mars.
Posted by: Lucia at June 1, 2006 11:49 AM
This Cancer is in to bust a claw in someone's grill!!! Cancer por Vida!
Happy Cancer birthmonth to us!!! ayayayayaya!
Posted by: Valerie at June 1, 2006 11:49 AM
On the one hand, yea for the WSJ for recognising the brilliance that is this blog.
On the other hand, phooey to the WSJ for labelling it as a knitting blog.
Someone needs to poke them with some dpns until they get their facts straight.
Posted by: Martigny at June 1, 2006 11:52 AM
I'm sorry to be such a prolific commenter today, but as a business maven/geek, it is my DREAM to get mentioned in the WSJ - more exciting than People, more exciting than Vanity Fair - so I'm just very excited for you!! Niche or no, it's a huge thing to be mentioned, particularly since you're not being investigated by Elliott Spitzer... yet.
Posted by: rb at June 1, 2006 11:55 AM
That is so incredibly fabulous about your mention in WSJ!!!!! I hope it causes lots of book editors to call you with wonderful book proposals, and loads of money. I think books-from-blogs are an evolving niche market and you are sure to be at the forefront.
I say this because I am Christine!
Posted by: Christine G. at June 1, 2006 11:55 AM
I am so down with the CancerCrips. The guys I date always make the mistake in thinking I'm this soft, helpless creature who needs them. Eventually they piss me off and they get to see the other me. My mother, a fellow Cancer, has often said that she never wants to be on my bad side.
Congrats on the mention in the WSJ!
Posted by: Dagny at June 1, 2006 11:55 AM
Congratulations on the Name Drop!
the Wall Street Journal is a big deal, and the exposure!? You may gain a few more lurkers this way.. high powered, business minded lurkers... I bet Anderson Cooper reads the WSJ. sweet :)
Rock On!
Posted by: Brianne at June 1, 2006 12:06 PM
Grabbed my boss's copy of the WSJ just to check! How friggin' AWESOME!! It's nice to be popular and famous, I hope rich isn't far behind!
You're MY American Idol, CAP!!
Posted by: mctwin at June 1, 2006 12:06 PM
I'm a Sag and I'm currently holding it until my hubby gets the heck out of the shower! Hoping for some relief. Trying not to bitch about how dang long he is taking!!! :-)
I look forward to the big ol' bruise!
Posted by: Dorothy B at June 1, 2006 12:09 PM
Mmm...tomfoolery. And hanky-panky. This Cappie thanks you for that prediction. :) And I laughed my fool behind off when you said we prefer to sit on the sidelines and watch others hit each other with big sticks...that's me! I am Julie!
Also: Wall Street Journal! Rock on, Laurie!
Posted by: Julie at June 1, 2006 12:11 PM
Well, jeez, you were dead-straight-on with the horrorscope for March-April-May, so you'd bloody well better be right for June. This Pisces has had about all she can take of the Sisyphean grind.
I have spoken.
Posted by: Ann-Marie at June 1, 2006 12:11 PM
You might be amused to know that I (a Virgo) plan to spend this month in deep exploration of whether I truly am comfortable with the fact that at the end of the month, I expect to be moving in with my boyfriend, who happens to be a Taurus. Right on.
Posted by: Rachel at June 1, 2006 12:13 PM
You make me proud to be a crabby moonchild Cancercrip! Think I'll go get a crab tatoo. And yeah, the stars been f-in with us long enough!!
Posted by: Nancy_Knits at June 1, 2006 12:35 PM
You want an uncomfortable Sagg potty moment? I got one for ya.
Next week I will be forced to testify against my Ex, who is apparently hiding out in Brazil so as not to loose all his money to the government. He's probably also trying to knock-up a Portuguese hooker so that he can never be brought back to the US. They have that rule there, you know.
So if any of you are in Santa Barbara next week and see a bewildered looking blond wandering the halls of the Courthouse, clutching her knitting to her chest like a talisman, that would be me. Say Hi. I'll probably be looking for the bathroom . . .
Posted by: Boo! at June 1, 2006 12:37 PM
Hmm...a virgo here. And was it just me, or did the whole month of May suck?? I've been doing that inner-exploration already, so I guess I've got a jump-start on June. It can only get better, right?
Posted by: Tami at June 1, 2006 12:39 PM
"fits and starts" just about describes my entire life. trust me, today i DO feel like syphillis at the bottom of the mountain. can i change my sign from pisces to cancer? do i need to go to the dmv for that?
gratz on the WSJ plug - you be famous!
Posted by: April at June 1, 2006 12:40 PM
Hi! Isn't it funny, but I feel like we're all of us mentioned in the paper. Like this whole thing is a group effort!
Hey, so are ya'll saying mayhaps I should be doing more knitting?
I do have to agree that I have been woeful with the lack of knitting content. But truth is, since the pox descended upon my house of feline wellness, I have not had the time, energy, money or inclination to knit. HOWEVER, Linda at Yarnzilla sent me some Noror Transitions (favorite non-up-country yarn EVER) and I know, I know. Knitting!
What should we knit next? Ideas? Suggestions? (Oh, and no, I haven't cast on for the longways scarf yet. This weekend. Maybe.)
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 12:43 PM
YEAH! WSJ congrats! Oh, and I think I have to pee. So bye.
Posted by: Paula at June 1, 2006 12:43 PM
hah hah... noror. I type like a one-armed paperhanger.
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 12:43 PM
Congrats on the WSJ!
Though next time with the horoscopes... could you spead the venereal disease love to the other signs as well instead of concentrating on one poor little sign that if you did the three letter abbreviation thing you'd get PIS.
I guess its just a hooha month for me. ;P
Posted by: Stephieface at June 1, 2006 12:52 PM
Congratulations from a long-time Leo blog stalker, who is eagerly considering who to piss off this month. For I am Marie.
Posted by: Marie at June 1, 2006 12:54 PM
Well, you definitely do the hard part in getting the conversation going, and you are paying for the web hosting! But when I saw your site mentioned this morning, I was so GIDDY! Cause I'm a small part of the action here, but I do feel like part of the CAP posse (even though I don't qualify for cancercrips).
Posted by: Jenny at June 1, 2006 01:03 PM
[Happy Aquarius Dance]
Posted by: David at June 1, 2006 01:08 PM
Jenny, that's what I mean, I feel like, woo hoo, go team crazy! Not that ya'll are crazy, I mean, of course, not in the bad way, with the bra on the head and so on. LOL
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 01:09 PM
i am Capricorn.
how boring. one time i had a horoscope that said 'check your silverware and condiments'.
that is all.
Posted by: smokeyJoe at June 1, 2006 01:10 PM
Also, please people. Tell a white girl how to spell Tupak. Is it 2pak? 2 pac? twopock (ha! just kidding1)
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 01:10 PM
I totally feel like one of those kids that think they are sooo cool because they knew the band when it was just some dirty group of hippies playing down by a river and now it is a huge rock band.
Those WSJ guys won't ever know the real CAP.... but I was there when all you had was tatter tots, a group of friends and a glass of wine as big as your head. Sniffle sniffle
Posted by: Aimee the sis at June 1, 2006 01:12 PM
Now Laurie, you know you don't have to go through all of that when everyone knows who you mean if you simply say "Pac."
Posted by: Dagny at June 1, 2006 01:14 PM
Show bidnez, eh? I knew I flipped on to "So You Think You Can Dance" for a reason!
Posted by: Monkeygurrl at June 1, 2006 01:31 PM
Gonna put on my CAP t-shirt and go do a wildass LibraCrip dance down at the newsstand.
You are Laurie.
Posted by: Marilyn at June 1, 2006 01:34 PM
I just heard that our delicious Anderson Cooper is going to be on Larry King Live tonight. I've set the Tivo so I can watch it again and again and again.
AC's birthday is on Saturday, btw. He'll be 39. Not that I'm a crazy obsessed stalker or anything.
Three whole hours of AC....it must be an early birthday present for us Cancercrips.
Posted by: Liz R at June 1, 2006 01:40 PM
Amen fellow Cancer!!!!!
I needed this. Bad mojo with husband... for too long... Perfect. Thank you.
Props from the WSJ! Damn, I can't do the slang.
Posted by: Tina at June 1, 2006 01:49 PM
"type like a one-armed paperhanger"
Laurie, I won't even pretend to understand what that means literally...but I got the greatest visual of you with huge reams of paper hung over your outstretched arm trying to type with a knitting needle in your mouth while also trying desperatly to catch your cats for their meds.
priceless
Posted by: Brianne at June 1, 2006 02:02 PM
OMG Laurie congrats!!! Are you absolutely dying to scream it out the window yet? I'm going to pick up the WSJ before SnB tonight and pass it around.
Also, HATE being a peacemaker! Love you though!
BTW - syphilis, way, way better than herpes - syphilis can be cured!!! I'm not so sure about what it does to a mountain though?
Posted by: Faith at June 1, 2006 02:06 PM
your blog will make you a star.
Posted by: s at June 1, 2006 02:15 PM
Faith, my feet are not even TOUCHING the ground. I'm about to die of ants-in-my-pantsiness here at work, LOL.
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 02:15 PM
Laurie, you actually asked what to knit next, knowing that I am out here? Socks, that's what. Resistance is futile. I am Lucia.
Posted by: Lucia at June 1, 2006 02:26 PM
Lucia, one day.
I Am Laurie.
hehehehehehehehe
Poor Francisco has no idea what he has started!
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 02:28 PM
Naah, everyone's doing socks. (Not that I don't like knitting socks, but come on.) How about lace? You like scarves. A nice lace scarf would be fun. And you would get to BLOCK the bejezus out of it - we know you like blocking.
Posted by: rb at June 1, 2006 02:39 PM
Here's one cancer that is in! Cancercrips unite!
Thanks Laurie, I NEED this month to be good!
Posted by: Barbara at June 1, 2006 02:43 PM
Lace socks!
(heh heh heh heh...)
Posted by: Lucia at June 1, 2006 02:44 PM
Did you figure out that us libras can't ever figure out what the heck you're talking about? I appreciate the plain english version of libra. Thanks.
Posted by: k at June 1, 2006 02:50 PM
Count me in as a memeber of the Westside Rolling CancerCrips. We baaaad!
Posted by: Ellen B. at June 1, 2006 03:03 PM
Dear Libras,
Next month will be in very plain english, I promise.
Your repentant horoscoper,
Laurie
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 03:03 PM
How about knitting some gloves. My mom made a pair years ago and I'm still impressed. Just think of it as 5 little finger hats.
I am psychomom on team crazy.
Posted by: psychomom at June 1, 2006 03:12 PM
"...declare your independence as a person and generally piss off those who seek to control you."
i love you, purl, and i'm taking those words to heart. thankyouthankyouthankyou (for confirming what i already knew!)!
Posted by: leomange at June 1, 2006 03:15 PM
Oh . . . MY . . .GOD! (said in Southern drawl and speed) You Miss Fancy Pants are in the WSJ! Holy Crap post the article, woman!
Posted by: Debbie at June 1, 2006 03:23 PM
I'm really tempted to not comment, since the number right now is 69 and looks a whole lot like the cancerian symbol, but I can't help it. I am Eliza.
And I'm with you on the crabby gang. Symbol: cross your arms in front with the fingers and thumb held together like a crab claw. ALL WILL KNOW US AND OUR EXOSKELETONOUS POWER.
Ahem.
Posted by: eliza at June 1, 2006 03:30 PM
quote of the day:
"ALL WILL KNOW US AND OUR EXOSKELETONOUS POWER."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: laurie at June 1, 2006 03:32 PM
I'm a Cancer. I adore reading your monthly horoscopes too. I am a Cancer ready to kick ass too. Hehehe...that's a hoot. Your Cancer-Scope had me laughing. YO!
Posted by: Isis (Lani) at June 1, 2006 03:48 PM
Fellow Cancer Mama: You go, I'll follow.
Posted by: farm-witch at June 1, 2006 03:56 PM
Me again. So when is the big fat WSJ blow out party at the back 40 going to happen? We all have 'plane reservations to make to Cally. Poor Francisco, he has no idea what a bunch of crazed partying knitters can do to a yard.
How are the square watermelons doing?
Is Mr. X having a fit?
Posted by: Debbie at June 1, 2006 03:56 PM
WOW-I always thought the WSJ was for boring old men in suits-if you were mentioned it might not be so bad. Congratulations, Laurie!
Posted by: Jann at June 1, 2006 04:13 PM
I'm a cancer and I'm in. But can we please, please have a gang color and a secret handshake?
Thanks.
Posted by: Heather at June 1, 2006 04:16 PM
Libra here! Thanks! :)
Posted by: zee at June 1, 2006 04:25 PM
I am a Cancer and I love your plan. Let's do it! I've had the weirdest week of close friends freaking me out and messing with my mind. Reading your Cancer bit reminded me that I am tough and I don't need to take this crap!
And as for the logo, I like the traditional Cancer symbol. I used to have a necklace with it, and all my dorky high school classmates thought it was a "69," so I wound up with quite the reputation.
Posted by: Rachele at June 1, 2006 04:38 PM
I've always thought of getting a crab tattoo.
Posted by: Melissa A. at June 1, 2006 04:43 PM
I like Eliza's gang sign. I have been practicing it to make sure I am projecting the right amount of "don't mess with me" attitude. The cats, per usual, think that I have lost my mind.
Posted by: Dagny at June 1, 2006 05:42 PM
As a Sagittarius just three days (count 'em) from getting on a plane and heading to Jamaica (where I will surely get my groove back) I will try to hold my water on the plane. Because, you know, big girls and small airplane potties don't mix. And I'll definitely take pictures and show them to you if I ever see you at SnB again (come back, Laurie).
Posted by: Laurie Ann at June 1, 2006 05:53 PM
Congrats on the WSJ! That's amazing.
And this fellow Cancer is with you! =D
Posted by: Tiffany at June 1, 2006 06:06 PM
This Cancercrip is in!
Posted by: Mary in Virginia at June 1, 2006 06:35 PM
Cancercrips in da hiz-ouse!!!!
This is one cancercrip ready for a change in the stars. Cancercrips out!
Posted by: Beth at June 1, 2006 07:05 PM
Cancercrips! I'm down wit' cha. (I'm also the most whitebread chick in America but whateva!) I have been yanked around by the damn stars lately, so no more! I'll stand with you Laurie, only could we get t-shirts instead of tatoos? 'Cause I'm a pussy like that...
Posted by: Nic at June 1, 2006 07:36 PM
Yay, this is one happy fish. After a very hard time things will look up. Only, I hope I don't get herpes at the bottom of that hill!
Your posts are hilarious!
Mia
Posted by: Mia at June 1, 2006 07:50 PM
Congrats on the WSJ!! I think I'm delurking for this. You may have a thousand copies by now, but if you want mine let me know, and I'll gladly send it along.
Posted by: Donna at June 1, 2006 07:54 PM
6/22, Baby!! HA!
Congrats on the WSJ!
Posted by: Shelly at June 1, 2006 08:37 PM
Congrats Laurie!! The recognition couldn't have happened to a nicer, more deserving person! We're all so proud of you!!
So tell me, when they make a movie based on your life......who will Francisco be played by??
I'm thinking Antonio Banderas....am I right??
Posted by: Amelia in NJ at June 1, 2006 08:52 PM
I don't care what you call it, but the horoscope for Aquarius is perfect. It's exactly what I want to be true since I'm getting ready to move back to the East Coast. Maybe just reading this horoscope will help me make it come true.
Posted by: Michelle at June 1, 2006 09:08 PM
Another Cancer girl here for the gang! So far this year has just been kicking my butt and I am about ready to kick back and hard! Seriously, there have been days when coming and reading your blog has been the best part of the day. Let me know when the gang is ready to roll, I'm all over it! (And happy birthday to us all, surely it will get better?!)
Good to know the WSJ knows brilliance when they see it, by the way... golf claps and greetings to the kids from my booligans, (too cute to really be hooligans) (Yeah, right.)
Posted by: Steph B at June 1, 2006 10:48 PM
Woohoo, WSJ!
Here's an image: Warren Buffett is leaning back in his chair, sipping on his coke and reading CAP, thinking to himself, "Because I am Warren!"
Or, you know, maybe not. But hey, WSJ!
>^.^<
Posted by: Bridget at June 1, 2006 11:22 PM
Congrats on the article!! I am down with the cancercrips! I need a good month!
Posted by: Gina at June 2, 2006 05:39 AM
*insert Twilight Zone music here*
I'm an Aries, with a Honda Accord, who wants more money to go shopping. You're really good.
Posted by: Melissa at June 2, 2006 06:06 AM
Thanks for the horror-scope Laurie. They always make me giggle. So, I am guessing this month I channel my inner rapper. Which is cool, in that kickin' ass and taking names sorta way. I am all for walking the walk, but it's the talking the talk part I have issues with. Um, fo-shizzle.
Posted by: Lynne at June 2, 2006 06:40 AM
omg, the gemini was ME. are you sure you don't hang around with a crystal ball and a blinking neon PALM READINGS sign? (hey, maybe that's the way to pay off the cat vet bills!)
Posted by: kristin at June 2, 2006 07:33 AM
Darling, I straddle the line of Gemini/Cancer, so you can imagine how crazy this month will be for me -- birthday, 40th birthday, flux, tattoos. Where are we getting our tattoos -- mabye a big crab tattooed right on the neck?
Posted by: Gina at June 2, 2006 08:32 AM
Fab. Saw that WSJ and my eyes bugged out at "a blog on knitting." Again the "venerable" WSJ has failed to do some important homework--they couldn't have actually researched properly and checked out the blog if they said ONLY that. So much MORE than knitting alone. Makes me kinda wonder what else important they might be getting wrong . . . like the time a writer meant the inexact measurement "scads," but instead said "gads" of something. I almost halted the subscription. Anyway, you will get SCADS of new readers, lurkers, commenters, and contributors to the kitty fund now!
Posted by: Dana at June 2, 2006 08:35 AM
Laurie, I am a Cancer, and I am in. Can't wait to see WSJ. I'm so proud of you!
Posted by: Robin at June 2, 2006 08:37 AM
P.S. i thought this blog was about cats and wine. Nice way to snargle the wine thing under pretense of knitting! Genuis Cancer You! (Am waiting for book editor to GET WISE and give you a BIG CHECK to write your BIOGRAPHY. I will buy several copies for all my friends!!)
Posted by: Robin at June 2, 2006 08:40 AM
BTW, Cancercrips gear in Cafe Press?!!!!
Posted by: Tina at June 2, 2006 09:23 AM
WOW--we ARE a gang. My birthday: 7/14. Cancercrips? I'm totally down with that.
Posted by: Joan at June 2, 2006 09:30 AM
totally down with the cancercrips - 7/13 birthday here! cancers WILL inherit the earth and huzzah, it'll be about freakin'time.
and that is how we roll with it!
Posted by: stephanieayn at June 2, 2006 09:35 AM
Ok, girl...
I'm gonna make me some DO NOT MESS WITH CANCERS tshirts!! (hmm.. how? I don't know). When I do, one's coming your way!!
congrats on the WSJ mention.. now I gots to go read my paper...
Posted by: Debra at June 2, 2006 11:58 AM
July, 17th, here and I'm in!
I like the idea of press on tatoo. I'd even wear it to work. Can it be HUGE!? So big that people will have to look at it in amazement and know that we are CancerCrips!
Posted by: Sheri at June 2, 2006 12:08 PM
oh hey, I forgot! Congrats on WSJ! Gotta go read it! Sooo cool!
Posted by: Sheri at June 2, 2006 12:12 PM
As a Sagittarius for whom JUNE MONTH IS DIVORCE MONTH (and oh my God the waiting and the suspense and the draggin of feet) I think your horoscope is going to be super-accurate. I hope. I think. My life is one big ol' potty-break.
Posted by: Amanda at June 2, 2006 01:18 PM
don't forget the July Leos....and yeah May was a big pile of crap!
Posted by: tevanab at June 2, 2006 02:28 PM
I LOVE YOU... That Cancer Hor-o-scope... perfect. I am so with you my fellow Cancerian! lets take that crab claw and shove it....
Cancercrips for life! And I will stamp that logo all over :)
Posted by: stinkerbell at June 3, 2006 02:53 AM
I am so in the Cancer gang! May sucked horribly and I'm ready for a good month.
Your blog makes my days, even in the sucky months.
Posted by: Rachael at June 3, 2006 06:11 AM
where do you come UP with all this stuff? You kill me! I am hoping that my June goes better than May...it HAS to!! I'm a Scorpio...make me a really good July horror-scope, okay??? :)
Posted by: Yvonne at June 3, 2006 11:55 AM
6/25 here, ready to join up! A few years ago, my white-trash neighbors did something to piss me off, and I said, "Don't f**k with me, or I'll f**k right back!" Maybe we should make that our gang slogan.
Posted by: Lisa at June 3, 2006 12:57 PM
I gotta find me a tattoo(temp of course)..........
Posted by: cathy at June 3, 2006 04:54 PM
Another cancerian here....just did the early, early retirement thing and can't wait to start having fun, fun, fun! You are so right on about the melancholy near b'day time....happens every year. However, I'm determined that won't be the case this year! Love your blogging!
Posted by: roxbarking at June 8, 2006 09:55 AM
I too am a Cancer homie, and you know I'm down wit yo Cancer-Power tactics! Step back world, ccuz we steppin out!
(oh my goddess you are so fricken funny! And I felt a bit silly writing all that, but still I smiled in devilishly scorned Cancarian kinda way :) This means your bday is comming up in the near future....Happy Happy in advance!)
~xydrella
Posted by: xydrella at June 13, 2006 03:07 PM
You have a huge shout out from this New York Cancerian (7/19) - Tenacity ALWAYS wins out. Thanks for being a Crabs best cheerleader.
Posted by: ALW at June 15, 2006 09:50 PM
Nothing raises you out of bed like the sound of cat retching...well, maybe dog retching. It's gotten so I choose the type of food they eat by the amount of staining it does to the carpet!
One cat has a death wish and I may grant it!
Posted by: kris at June 16, 2006 07:30 AM
First visit to this page - made me laugh. I'm a 19/7 or as US goes - 7/19 (? why backwards - logic is day-month-year) and this one is the big 50. I agree with others - May sucked - June just as much as a challenge. Light at the end of the tunnel for us crabs?
Please???
Posted by: noote at June 19, 2006 12:13 PM
