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June 15, 2006

Four cats: priceless. No, really. They're FREE. Come get 'em.

Sometimes I wake up with a Roy on my pillow next to me, staring intently at my head, willing me to wake up with his kitty mind and feed him the fancy feast of his kitty dreams.

Sometimes he'll resort to grooming my left eyebrow which, while not the most pleasant way to wake up, it is still arguably better than being pulled out of a good dream by the sound of one Roy hocking up one very large hairball.

Like this morning.


So I got up at quarter 'til butt-crack of dawn to fetch paper towels and do a groggy spot clean. And as I was in the bathroom washing my hands and staring at the wrinkled, bags-under-eyes scary woman in the mirror, one Roy T. Cat came into the bathroom purring and all "I have no idea why you are awake so early but Hi! I am cute! Fancy Feast!"

Which was when I noticed that my puking cat had mysteriously TURNED YELLOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. In spots. Specifically, he had giant YELLOW ORANGE areas on both sides of his mouth.





Me: Jaundice? Of the... fur? Hepatitis? Catatitis? Yellow fever? Is this why you got sick? Are you hot? Do you have a fever? I might have a fever. Because this looks expensive. Come here. Let me inspect you.


Me: GREAT. The vet is going to ban me from the facility. I have a yellowing cat. It's probably ebola. TYPHOID ROY. They are going to laugh at me behind my back, or possibly to my face, just like the time I had to call them because Bob thought he was a dog and started eating rawhide bones. Why why why was I not a dog person? Or a fish person? Or a picture-of-a-fish person?

Roy: ....?

So I went into the kitchen to make coffee, since it was already past 5 a.m. and ergo "can't drink wine yet because that is something bad, like on a checklist somewhere, that you require twelve steps to retreat from" and the vet's office doesn't open until 8 a.m. anyway.

Which is when I saw this:

He was YELLOW because he was covered in POLLEN from the two lilies, assorted greenery and daisies (to taste) that he had eaten for a midnight snack.

Damn cat.

Posted by laurie at June 15, 2006 9:06 AM