Oh Laurie!, You should apply for FEMA. Just call and tell them... I am Laurie!

Awww. The lake is drying out? I was hoping that you were going to start raising trout back there. Trout would be good with the square watermelon.

Oh. My.

Oh eep!

And I thought a dripping bathtub tap was A Bad Thing.

Liza {who wishes she had a Francisco to call on when these little difficulties occur}

yet again you've taken lemons and made a lovely, refreshing beverage...

thought: perhaps you could use this watery wonderland to your benefit when it comes time to administer kitty meds. "whaddya want, Roy, the medicine... or the Encino water torture???"

good thing you built the garden beds up!

Well, at least you caught it before your water bill approaches the national debt.

Dam girl. Really build a dam. Here in the dryest desert around we have forgotton what water looks like. I wish for a long hose to siphon it to my back yard where yellow is the new green. Well except for the weeds which don't need water.
I am Fransisco!

It was actually looking more like a wetlands this morning than a lake anymore, and it's supposed to be 95 (!!!) in the valley today, so I'm sure it will be back to its desert-like goodness by the end of the week.

Francisco is kind of ... crazy. Do you think the universe is now sending crazy people into my life because I am a little touched myself?

Stalking you from Scotland! Can I come and swim in your garden? Any pictures of Francisco? Do you think he'll come and look after my garden in Aberdeen?

I think I am officially in love with Francisco. I want to swoop him away to Kansas so he can be my horticultural hero!

Well, at least he didn't whack down more trees or hedges or something. Because He is...Francisco!

I wanted to take pictures of Francisco. But he was not pleased with Waterworld. Maybe on Saturday when he comes to replace the whatever-is-broken, I will try to photograph him without him thinking I secretly lust after him.

OH!!!! See the hedge on the left of the river picture?? He actually asked me last night if I wanted him to cut them all down! I was like, ...what? why? why Francisco?

Uh, oh. I've been basing my sanity level awareness on the simple fact is that if I can recognize the crazy in others then I must be sane! Is that not how it works?

You live in Southern California and it is nearly June. That water will evaporate and be gone in less than 12 hours.

I'm thinking a catfish farm..... fried catfish with watermelon for dessert- mmm yummy.

This is hilarious. Back home in NC I had a friend who did the same thing, but his was "well...I am Fernando."

You should have a swamp party! I will bring bourbon. And gin.

Gwen, you don't mind if your bridal shower has a swamp theme, do you? ;)

Otters build dams?

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

I am Swapna!

I think Gwen has the right idea -- a swamp party!

I really should stop reading at work because at the point of the CSI: Miami I nearly had to explain to my boss why my monitor is covered in orange soda.

Look at it this way....it's just the universe reminding you of Florida. :) Summer storms should start here shortly and all our backyards will look like that. :)

That's a flood?! I guess it's all relative.

Maybe it's because you're from the South, but Californians really don't talk to their gardners much around here. I know I don't, mostly because no habla Espanol. Also, any waterfront property is at a premium around here, so you could advertise it as the new Panama-Encino Canal and make a couple of quick bucks in the next few hours before it all goes away. Maybe serve up a little wine with crackers and cheese at a premium.

Why do I keep thinking of Ester Williams?

Take his picture with your razr. That way it looks like you're just calling or texting someone. I love how he is obsessed with exterminating anything that resembles a hedge, but you have enough dandelions to make a salad.

I am begging you to quit that job and write a book. I will buy it. I will buy everyone I know a copy and then annoy them by calling them and reading passages aloud from my own copy, as I do daily from your blog. Seriously. Get on that.

After your lake party, of course.

I'm wondering how nutters your gardener thought you were when you called so that he felt the need to remind you who you had called on the phone. . . Crazy white woman on the telephone asking me to swim, "Uh, lady, I am Francisco!"

I think you should knit a long scarf for Francisco!

I can't help but picture Francisco as Pedro from Napolean Dynamite. Vote for Francisco?

Did you start building an ark???

How's the scarf going?

Er... I've been meaning to ask you... I have a goldfish that needs a home and, well, we just don't think we can take him with us when we move...

Girleen! Will it ever end??? I think you should blame it on Reseda...

xo

Swamp juice. Yum.

Maybe throw down some grass seed while it's still wet? I'm not saying anything (about the weeds and all), I'm just saying. Tall fescue. Drought tolerant.

I am rb.

As others have said, your river/lake should dry up soon, because you are in the valley where the temperatures can rival those of Hell. In the meantime, you can use it to threaten to send cats who will not take their medicines.

I am Miss Wendy signing off....

Swamp Party? Oooooo, can I come as one of Adrienne Barbeau boobs. I can float.

Maybe that's the Lord's way of bringing a little Louisiana to you! :)

Marry Poppins had it wrong when she said supercalifragilisticexpialidoious is the word to say when you don't know what to say. It should have been, "I am Francisco." only, I don't think that would have been lyrically the right thing for the musical :)

(giggling hysterically)

I am Francisco. That's fantastic.

Are you sure he didn't say "Flan Disco" or somesuch?

Swamp party! YIPPY! I'll be there.

Actually, your yard kind of looks like my yard a few weeks ago when we had a whole bunch of rain out here in the Bah-ston area; the access road behind my house flooded & I have the pictures of the ducks and geese swimming in the (inundated) road to prove it. However, at least in Taxachusetts the tenant doesn't pay the water bill- the homeowner does. At least, the tenant doesn't pay directly for it... I see some nice-looking field greens for the salad to go with the fired catfish and square watermelons!

Um, otters don't build dams. Mebbe you are thinking of the wild beavers running amok in Encino?

I have never been further west than Cincinnati (sad, so sad!) and I love it when y'all talk about California. Someday I will get there. Just for a visit, though, because the thought of an earthquake terrifies me like no tornado or blizzard can. (Laurie, I am also a displaced Southerner - I am Julie - but I was displaced to the greater Michigan/Ohio area.) I especially love it when someone says "Reseda," and my brain goes, "It's a loooong day living in Reseda, there's a freeeeway running through the yard..." Y'all may also be aware that all the vampires walking through the Valley move west down Ventura Boulevard, but only if you were a teenager in the 80's. Also, I may need a nap. :)

(singing to Tom Petty's "Free Falling"
It's a long day, living in Encino,
There's a water-way, in the back yard
And Fernando wants to whack down the hedges
But Laurie fights back too hard

We're SWAAAAMPED
SWAAAAMP WALLAAS!
LAurie's SWAAAAMPED
The SWAMP's Rising!

Okay, wow- Laurie, you're now my favorite person to visit every morning. It's a MUCH better day now!
(BTW- may I suggest you take advantage of the good soak NOW and pull any seriously rooted weeds or rake in a little grass seed with you can? That rock-hard So-Cal soil will bake up like pottery in a kiln in a day or two--might as well get in the gardening while it's easy!)

No, because I am Kenny!!

You are so funny
I look forward to your daily posts!

Oh, I agree with Susan, "I am Francisco" should get out there and make like Santa on the weeds and Hoe Hoe Hoe.

Julie - Save for a field trip in Jr high to D.C.
I haven't experienced the U.S. East of Denver.

I love reading the posts and comments especially when I can get a taste of the South from the locals - however transplanted they may be.

Hmm. You can lead Francisco to water but you can't make him...swim?

PS: As a loyal reader, may I please put a request in? When you do June's horoscopes, can Scorpio have a good month? Please? I have had a horrible month, without even the consolation entertainment of a laconic iconic gardener. Thanks.

I am the great Nabisco!!!! Bring me your slave elves! Oh never mind that's Keebler. shit. Perhaps Fransico has a past life problem that makes him like to kill living things either by the sword or drowning. Perhaps he is channeling his inner Toreador. Jesus. I suggest you turn the friggin water supply off before you go to work so he can't make your water bill higher and your backyard muckier. I am the great Nabisco!! pay no attention to the man behind the sprinkler!!

Wonder why we always think people with accents are funny?
We do have to see a picture of Francisco you know, we all have a picture of him in our minds.
and cats. pictures. of. cats.

You must have some strange dam building otters there in Encino!
We sure don't have them in Canada!

Maybe they could have helped?

If it gets any deeper, call me. I have a boat. We'll go sailing.

I just cannot comprehend why a "gardener" would be so obsessed with killing/slashing every plant form in sight!

Okay, now we a few new t-shirt designs. One with each cat:

"I am Bob"
and
"I am The Soba"

etc...

Hey, Drew has an idea there. I want a t-shirt with that picture you posted of Roy a couple of months ago...
"I am Roy. Soy inocente."

Couldn't figure out how to post an image here, so you'll have to cut and paste. But when I read your post, this came to mind, lol.

http://pic13.picturetrail.com/VOL487/425472/6978475/151647308.jpg

Love your blog! A must read daily :)

Laurie, I'm going off topic again, but I was watching a "Tyra Show" rerun last night and instantly thought of you. It was about bacteria and germs. The guests gave some tips on how to avoid bad bacteria. (The doctor did say that most bacteria are good.)

Here's a link to their tips.

http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/tips/bacteria.html

For the love of God, SAVE THE WATERMELON!

Better watch out! EPA wackos are liable to declare your back yard a "wetland" and prohibit you from draining it!

You are one witty knitter. You are Laurie!

well, being a pedantic pedal pusher from oregon I must note that beavers build dams...otters build slides...see, that's how you can tell what's been in your backyard...

dam=beavers

slide=otters

now ya know...;)

Hope your yard gets fixed by the wondergul Francisco.
Mia

...and I thought I was having a bad week!

when i saw the pics alongside the word "francisco" my brain screamed "fire him already!" see what a judgemental biz-natch i am?

he may not swim, but he is savior of sprinklers. if only he was savior of plants...

maybe he should have said "i am herbicide."

"Murder- Miami-Encino style..." bah ha ha - I can so picture him standing in your yard! Get David Caruso on the phone! Meanwhile, have any blue herons visited your backyard? Maybe you could declare a wildlife sanctuary and get government funding.

A coworker just IMed me with a question, and I responded with "I am Francisco!" And it confused him so badly that he almost forgot that I hadn't answered his question.

So, I'm going to use it in all situations. My coworker, once he read your post, decided he was Ramon.

Wow - I've been reading your blog for over a year now and never comment, just laugh. But you're a big star...you got mentioned in a Wall Street Journal article today. Couldn't believe it when I saw it and had to look again to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Congrats!

Have you seen Orgazmo? There's a character who talks like that.
"Why should I hire you?"
"Because I am Sancho."
Yes indeed. Perhaps Sancho is Francisco's muse. ;)

Maybe you should knit him a mohair thong then he would remember to come and turn the water off. Or would that be too personal?

Not commenting on the current; rather, wanted to let you know (in the one in a million chance you don't already) of a new knitting mag you might be interested in: http://www.knit1mag.com/.

Wall Street Journal article? Really? Tell, Karen! What was it about? Is it online, or do I have to go buy the paper?

Just last month I would have never understood the crawfish coment, but I just got back from a 3 week trip to Texas. I would start out a nice day and then it would rain/thunder/lightning for an hour until the yards were flooded, and then the lobster-like creatures would come out of holes in the GRASS and crawl around the yard. What the hell! It was hard to wrap my mind around. Lobsters - Lawn... It ain't nothing like California. The farm raised ones taste pretty good in a crawfish boil. I had never been to a boil. Good times.

With all the water round them, your weeds look just like my weeds. What with the world's diverse flora, I kinda hoped weeds elsewhere would be all exotic and cute, like other things are; but no, their essential weedy nature shines through.