You know, I just saw an ad for that book yesterday in the new issue of Knit.1 and thought it looked pretty cool. Any good patterns in there for us crocheters? I'm intrigued...

They look cute, and hootchie as well, but I keep thinking practical thoughts. Like, how uncomfortable is a knitted bikini when it's wet! Or is it just for prancing around in looking cute, and not actual swimming?

Hmmm. I might not choose to put a green cable on my crack.

Tami-- there is an adorable "hippie top" that is such cute crochet, and of course the crochet bikinis which are too cute.

I don't know if you're supposed to get them wet, LOL, although the bandeau top is lined with lycra. I wouldn't be able to keep all my parts amply covered in these pieces, but I like the idea of a knitting book that caters to more sexy stuff. After all, in most knitting books I find one or two patterns wearable, anyway, so I wouldn't expect anything different from this book. Is that just me, though? Or do ya'll find books that have *all* patterns you like? I usually just see one or two I'd actually make, but I like the look of the book, or the tips or ideas or something.

Also, it was free :) LOL

After seeing how much lauries scarfs stretch once they are wet - i don't imagine I would wear a knit bikini!

Oh my lord...I guess I could use the bikini top as a water balloon launcher.
Seriously, I couldn't afford enough yarn to cover my overly ample chest and butt (and love handles, and rolls...were talking about 7 or 8 sheep's worth), but for those who can , those patterns rock!

Melissa, ditto!!

Crystal, there would have to be more than stretch happening. I would need like... aerodynamics. Seriously. hehehehehe

Mesh nightie!!!! OH I gotta have that one. Wait! I can't knit! I guess that means I'll have to make one up for crochet! Kuel! thanks for sharing that. I'm with ya on the pattern crack. If pattern books are crack, then yarn is herion.

Thanks for sharing! i'd heard about that bathrobe pattern . . . i think i'm going to have to check this book out.

And I'm guessing using any feltable yarn would be bad,bad,bad for a bathing suit, eh?! One dip in the ocean with the wave agitation going and you'd be arrested for indecent exposure (not that me in a bathing suit isn't indecent enough, y'all know) ;)

When will people learn? Handknits are not swimwear. Sag-o-rama. Is that what they mean by sexy-- So sexy, your swimwear falls off you?

Barb said what I was going to say. My initial thought when I saw that first photo was "that's an unfortunate colour in an unfortunate place". (The colour shows up as brown on my browser.)

pre-striped HAHAHAHAHAA

I wonder if people actually wear these in the water though? In the summertime out here in crazy Cali there are always girls wearing crochet or knit bikiki-ish tops as... tops. With jeans or shorts or little skirts. I myself have not been in a bathing suit in so long I cannot even recall what the experience is like.

the way you are with knitting books, i'm the same way about cookbooks. i have probably a hundred. and i can sit there for hours at the bookstore with a couple of stacks next to me and just foodporn my way through them. much to the dismay of the people i'm blocking in the aisles.

Wet Mohair.....need I say more?

I'm like that with pattern books too Laurie. Usually there's one or two things I'd consider wearable, and/or stuff my friends would wear that would make good gifts.

I haven't seen any crochet/knit swimwear tops that would seem appropriate for anyone over a B cup, and that's stretching it...

Back in the days when I wore Love's Babysoft and 7Up Lipsmackers, I had a hot-pink crocheted bikini top. What I wouldn't give to be able to fit into that now. Good times...

i have to go with the group here and say no on the knitted clothing. my mom (who is way too excited that i decided to take up knitting) brought a book of patterns over the other day. it was similar to this book laurie, and i just kept looking at them and thinking "i'd totally wear that if it was made of cotton." i can't imagine a knit wool tank top. the itchiness!! and bathing suit? how??? i just kept saying to my mom "look at all the models. A cups. At best. There is no way mine would work with those." my twins would just laugh and laugh at the silliness of me thinking they could stay upright and comfortable in that. i do agree with your point though, at least they are trying to be sexy.

I love the bathrobe, but I bet to make one to fit me would cost about the same as my mortgage payment. Plus I bet I'd have to learn to do more than the one stitch I presently know. So I'm thinking I'll just look at the pretty picture and say "cute robe!"

A bathrobe? An entire bathrobe??? Oh my.........

My boobies are too busy taking over the entire state of California to even consider getting stuffed into something that tiny.

Pass the chocolate. And the red wine, please.

Finally! A knitting book my boyfriend won't mind me spending our scant budget on! It's like porn you can share.. (mine being of the yarn persuasion & my man is ... well.. fond of the ladies) Laurie, you took the words out of my mouth on making these items for myself...but my tiny 23 year old model of a sister could use something sexier than the wool scarf I made her, (considering the season - don't get me wrong that scarf rules!). - B

I'm with you, Laurie, on a lot of points. You won't catch me dead in a knit or crochet bikini (or, these days, any sort of bikini at all!). And I find with most pattern books that I really only like a handful of things. But so many of the pattern books out there are so beautifully photographed, or have such great writing accompanying the patterns, that I can't not buy them! It would be wrong!

Caroline, I'm a cookbook fiend too. I love reading recipes and "tasting" each dish as I go.

Ah, yarn & food porn--it just doesn't get any better than that. :-)

That bathrobe looks cushy!

Swimwear, no, no, no! When I was a wee girl in southern Ohio my mom knit me a bikini ( I was three). We went to the Elks country club like we did ever day of the sweltering, humid summer. Being a little one, I went right into the wading pool, splashing around, sitting in the cool water. After a while I had to keep tugging up the bottoms. And then I had to keep tugging up the top, too. This was all very disconcerting to someone three who really did not want to worry about wardrobe malfunctions. It was dripping off me and itchy. What was traumatizing was my mother and her friends TO THIS DAY laughing their bridge-playing, whiskeysour-drinking asses off at that confused little three-year-old. So, do not make swimwear with yarn!

I dunno;

Just looking at the pictures made me itchy.

And not in a good "I'm-itchin'-ta-git-goin'-on-this-project" kinda way.

Hootchie knit wear. I too suffer from "juicy booty" syndrome, so alas, the patters in this book just aren't for me.

I always tease my daughter with the idea of me wearing something like the bikinis in this book. She looks at my like I've grown a tail. I'm sure she will be telling her therapist about it in 10 years.

They'd have to be lined with TIN in order stay in place on my womanly cake and mashed potatos landscape. The last time I was in a swimsuit everyone kept yelling, "keep her moist while we roll her back in the sea..."

dammit, I spelled potatoes wrong.

My mother gave me this for Mothers Day!! I love it but I agree with most...only a few things in there that my almost 35 year old rear will fit in! I'm still going to have to try something out of the book...maybe the little pink and blue one piece short jumper..I think I had one in terry cloth when I was 12!

Hey Crazy Aunt Purl...do you ever check your crazytourist account? I sent you an email and was curious if you had a chance to read it!!!

Knitting a bathrobe would be the most god-awful boring thing to knit in the world. I'd go mad going back and forth, back and forth - even with sufficient wine and chips. Then I'd get it done, put it on, and spill coffee all down the front - on my too-big-for-the-bikini boobs.
But, I heart knitting books too. Meet you on the floor at Barnes and Noble.

I try to stay away from the knitting books as much as possible because I know that I will end up with a huge habit, like the cookbooks. (The cookbooks now have their own bookcase.) But this book? I so must have it because a book that combines hoochie and knitting? So me.

This is a book where I'd have to - shhh - check out from the library to get the ONE pattern I might knit. But it does look like a fun read. I see all these crocheted bikinis at Target, etc., but then whenever I see one in a pattern book, I don't quite get it. My booty is always in Lycra. And more often, a one-piece. And more often than that, never near a body of water or a pool that I would need to don such a suit. Sigh.

But here's to free books!

I'm sorry I am so behind on email right now, it's been blocked from the firewall at White Guys In Ties, so it of course has filled up and now I need tech support to go in and unlock it. I should be back in by end of day, though. I have email ISSUES. LOL

"They'd have to be lined with TIN in order stay in place on my womanly cake and mashed potatoes landscape."

I LOVE THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marilyn, Dan Quayle spelled it wrong too.. HAHA

Knitted bathing suits? That's just wrong in so many ways.
Hey Laurie post that Bathrobe pattern and we can all do it as a group project. HOW do I get on the free Knitting book bandwagen? I want that One Skein book but don't want to pay the $20 price.

Yep, I don't need more than a couple of inches to cover them up. I've never worn a knit bikini but it is nice to know my little A-cup boobies have a place in the world.

I flipped through this book last night at the bookstore (because Amazon is being a bee-yotch about SENDING it to me even though I ordered it over a WEEK ago!) and I have to say- I want to make nearly everything in it. I haven't been this pleased with a knitting book since Handknit Holidays. The terry yarn used for the bathrobe looks so lush and plush.

And even if you don't feel comfortable wearing micro-minis and such in public (who does besides high school girls and models?), you can still wear them around the house and feel sexy. Imagine a sunny Saturday, lounging around, drinking something with lots of fruitiness and alcohol in it, knitting while wearing a sexy little knit? God help the plumber who comes by to fix something- Bow chicka bow bow...

I want the robe! Worth buying the book for that :)

Thank you for sharing that with us. Also, I made the cake recipe you shared... it was a HUGE HIT with my family this weekend. Thanks!!

bow chicka bow bow... sums up exactly how I felt about the nightie!!! oooh la la....

Rhett so glad you liked the cake!

Okay, I'm gonna be nosey and ask if it means anything that you got a free book from a publisher of knitting patterns? Like, are they trying to woo you? Could this mean that we will finally get a CAP book?

First the cake recipe and now we're supposed to fit into hootchie-mama knits? Oy! I'd better get busy in the garden to get in shape for these purty, purty patterns.

I've seen that book, and the projects therein are indeed sexy. However, they are totally useless for those of us with 48" chests. And I am not the only one out here with a 48" chest, knitting designers. How about designing something sexy for us? Must I do everything myself? Honestly.

Thank you for letting me get that off my 48" chest. Ha! I also heart knitting books...you're writing one, right, Laurie? Right?? :)

Natasha, the publisher is alas not trying to woo me. But I have to tell you, a free book could not come at a better time, what with the Taj Macatnip Wing of the vet being built and all ;)

Free = muy bueno

That was the smartest publisher EVAH! Off to pick up the book ...

For the bathrobe and nightie. Ain't enough yarn in the world to hold up the twins. Wet or dry.

Those of us in the D-cup Sisterhood salute you!

;-)

Man, do I want that hoochie little mesh nightie number pattern!

look who's getting free books from publishers!! woo hoo!! You may not THINK they are wooing you, but they are!

UPS man just dropped off my CAP delivery.
WO wo wo official groopie dance!!!!

Bear in mind that most of these models are 17 years old and 6 feet tall, y'all.

OOoooo... diggin' the v-neck sweater dress!

WAIT! I can't knit! Unless I can make it out of beads, I'm screwed!

Anyone wanna make a few bucks? :)

Those of us in the A-Bcup sisterhood are finally feeling like something may fit 'better' on a 'petite' chest and hope dearly that the bottoms can be made in 'juicy booty' size. My very private backyard is sunny, and this ga-dunk ga-dunk could use some color to disguise everything else. ;) Yarn may be expensive, but bathing suits?? I will never get over their price to fabric ratio.

Ahhhh Hell, Anonymous at 12:19 was me

For stretchiness in a knitted or crocheted bathing suit there's the Regia stretch yarn. In wool. Right. Just the thing for summer. Might work for a wetsuit as it would probably keep you fairly warm.

Has anyone seen the "Big Girl Knits" book? That's more my speed. I think one of the authors is the editor of Knitty.

Woohoo! Just checked the UPS tracking. My CAP package is waiting in the mailroom. I'm going down there to claim it. Too impatient to wait for them to deliver.

GGRRRRRR. I was in a meeting so I am low on the comment pole today. Anyway! They have a crochet bikini at Target this season. I tried on the top (for whatever reason), and let me just say to anyone that's a C or bigger--stay away from this bikini!! It will make your relatively perky girls look very, very sad.

Sue F. - The Big Girl Knits book is fabulous! Truly. Great tips on sweater shaping to fit the girls, and none of the patterns resembles a tent. Beautiful and sexy stuff. And yes, one of the authors is the editor of Knitty.

As for this sexy knits thing, I just don't know if I can bring myself to buy a book endorsed by Carman Electra. Or at least that's the excuse I'm going with so I don't have to admit I'd look laughably pathetic if I tried to make any of those sweet nothings for myself. Sigh.

Ah, the golden days of yester-year, when I was a bra-less, panty-less, long-haired natural beauty (only a dew drop glossed my lips). So, I miss my soul mate, best friends, coffee-house-hangout people! I am aware of something similar happening again. But I can't help but be sad when I see that my outside face does not match my inner sense of me. Well, guess whut! My marvy companion, Sheldon, (Sir Cat) teaches me. HEy, let's go outside! HEY, let's catch bugs! HEY, pet me, I'm am so sweet! I don't know that applies to anything except that knitted bikini - had one - Oh, so long ago! Think "Vortex", the Pacific Northwest's response to Woodstock.

Ah, the golden days of yester-year, when I was a bra-less, panty-less, long-haired natural beauty (only a dew drop glossed my lips). So, I miss my soul mate, best friends, coffee-house-hangout people! I am aware of something similar happening again. But I can't help but be sad when I see that my outside face does not match my inner sense of me. Well, guess whut! My marvy companion, Sheldon, (Sir Cat) teaches me. HEy, let's go outside! HEY, let's catch bugs! HEY, pet me, I'm am so sweet! I don't know that applies to anything except that knitted bikini - had one - Oh, so long ago! Think "Vortex", the Pacific Northwest's response to Woodstock.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: knit panties are a BAD idea (as cute as they may be) for this reason: do you really want to be hand-washing skidmarks?

David, that sounds like a boy issue hehehehehehe

I had four sisters growing up. It's not just a boy issue.

Hmmm. Says you. ;)

Juicy Booty you say. Well, as a self professed expert on Latino men, and Latina myself. I think that it was the “juicy booty” and not the cold beers that so encouraged Julio and Octavio to be such help. (Although cold beer is always an added incentive) I’m also member of the juicy booty/boobie society and a crochet/ knit book addict.

I'm with you, Laurie, I love that bathrobe. I may just have to get this book for that, it would hide my plush booty.

dude, I'm never one to look a free book in the mouth or somesuch, but this is so totally Jerry Springer-episodic-my-hair-has-roots-but-it-don't-matter-cuz-I'm-nekkid-as-a-dancer-for-my-job-and-have-wheels-on-my-house kind of squicky that there just aren't words. Stripperware, only knitted.

oddly enough, the author is a "dancer" (read: stripper) and gives her "creations" to her stripper friends, so it's not that surprising.

Even if I had the body for most of those horrid fuzzy things, which I don't, I can't imagine wearing any one of them. Eeeegh.

Fo reals, yo yo! Eliza, you simply *must* learn to have an opinion girl!! heheheh you had me laughing at my desk. Not good! We're strictly a no-laughs joint ;)

Tami R-- I myself would like to become an expert in the Latino Men field. Yes. In fact, I have recently done some research, but much much more research is needed for me to reach the height of expertdom. Or, you know, lovin' ...

... and indeed, the juicy booty is one of those things I am making peace with. I have it. It is large and in charge. And ya'll know I should just write a whole thing on it, since it's my whole philosophy for turning 35, which happens scarily soon.

p.s. I would like a Latin man as my bday present.

also, can I say 'indeed' one more time? indeed?

I have two stepdtrs. Skid marks are indeed an issue.

However, I believe most girls grow out of that one. Please? Right? Please?

Back when I wore a string bikini, I had to retie it after going in the water, preferably while still underwater, a Houdiniesque contortion. Let us just say that these garments are a teeny bit impractical (as well as a teeny bit teeny). They are also, as you point out, not intended for grown women. The lovely ladies at my LYS had just received this book when I was there the other day and we all (not one of us will ever see 45 again) looked at it together and said: feh.

Not that all you teeny people shouldn't just go ahead. You can all group together with your brightly colored stretchy-when-wet cotton. I'll be the one in the corner knitting thick socks.

(Here in New England it has been raining for a solid week, so it is possible that my view of life is somewhat dark and soggy.)

Eeeewww! If they're old enough to use the toilet, they shouldn't be doing that nastiness.

I wish Americans would get on board with the whole bidet thing already...

Laurie, you can go visit my mom in Mexico. She will find you a nice Latin man.

Dagny, I may take you up on that ;) Though luckily in LA we do have a good, healthy Latin man population. mmmmmm.

I could so see a group of knitters getting together funds to rent you a Latino for the big day...

I can't see wool or even most cotton yarns for bikinis ... but I do love the bathrobe and the v-neck dress, and I bet I'd lurve the mesh nightie. *sigh* Yet another book to put on my "get it when I get some money" list. I don't have big ol' boobies, but I'm not as ... streamlined as I used to be. Oh and Laurie? 35 is actually pretty easy. For some reason the "divisible by 5" ones don't get to me--but the in-between ones do. (Sneakier, I guess). And when my daughter turns 21 this fall--I'm just guessin', but I think I'll be breaking out the margarita pitcher. For me.

i saw a book at costco yesterday, something like Knits for Big Girls. Not that you need that, but it's the diametric opposite of knitted bikinis.

oh i am SOOOOOOORRY! baby oiled skin (and can these girls slather on any more!) does NOT belong on models in knitwear....yuck!
who needs their lil tight asses anyway!...pheh!

Before I learned to knit, I dated a girl who was... curvy. Very. And she had the most beautiful collection of... flattering... sweaters. She had this one dress which was basically a knee-length ribbed pullover. Ribbing just looks great on girls with ass...sssets.

Not to seem pervy. In short, don't compare yourself to models. Most guys dig girls with figures.

I've been married to a Latin man for almost 17 years and somedays I think I'm the luckiest woman in the world! I don't know about all of them but my man is amazing in many ways! I would elaborate but my 13 year old daughter might read this.

Keep looking, Laurie. They are muy, muy, muy bueno!!!

You have a pattern for a sushi tp cover?

Back in the early 80's I got sent home from my job selling ties at J.C. Penney because my (machine) knit dress was too short and too tight. Yes, I was a hoochie in knitwear before being a hoochie in knitwear was cool.

I just got the "Big Girl Knits" book today and was disappointed after all the rave reviews that it only have a couple of things I would actually consider knitting. The advice in the beginning on how to alter patterns makes the book worth the money.

Any sexy kilts for men?

Ooh er, afraid I don't have time to read all the comments and someone might have said this already but those pink fluffy knickers? Wouldn't they make your bum really itch?

these wouldn't fit me either but it's *incredibly* rare that patterns are made to fit what the industry euphemistically refers to as "plus sized" women (hello, *fat* is the word i'm using for this bu-tay.) you know what, though, i've already decided i'm going to crochet me a halter top this year and i'm tired of giving a sheet about whether anyone thinks i look good in it! i'm gonna make it, i'm gonna wear it, and all the other fat ladies can walk around too hot in their knee-length t-shirts and be mad at me, the fat exibitionist, to boot! flab power!

My hinney used to look like that... of course, if I wore one of those to swim in then, after all the stretching and sagging, it would like like my butt today! Woohoo, I'm still a hot hoochy mama!! Well, off to take my meds...

Right, so I'm pretty sure that the bikini top wouldn't fit around my thigh let alone encase everything going on up there. They need to start making yarn porn for the curvy girls!

Maybe I will take up knitting after all instead of just bloody talking about it. That bikini top would not cover the top part of my nipple, let alone my aureole and I am a very little girl!
Mia

Purl, Why would we need to "click for a larger view?" Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself! ;)

Oh my gosh, I've just been reading your blog for about the last hour and I haven't laughed this hard for a LONG time! You are freaking hilarious, I am so glad I stumbled across your blog. :)

And cats with captions? Well that's just the icing on the cake! Thanks for a great read...I'm sure you'll be making me spit out my breakfast cereal again when I check back each morning :)

Meshell xx

HEY HEY HEY I have one of those faux barbie TP cozies! (It was a fairly recent gift... & Boy was it nice to have a spare - if ya know what I mean...)

The pragmatist in me is just going "Mohair... buttcheeks... nappy rash" and "WTF??? Fun fur pink bathing suit???"

It looks all cute on those models but I hate to imagine their skin after the fashion shoot!

I'll just leave quietly for http://www.youknitwhat.blogspot.com where I suspect this book will shortly be featuring...

I knit my skinny niece a halter top in Cascade Fixation. Guess what, when wet it stayed up but the cotton weighed a ton and the whole thing looked baggy and very unattractive. There are so many sexy knits, lace patterns that play peek a boo with the body, why bother with things that are bound to look awful. Unless you have a stylist standing behind you at all times.
Off hand I can think of several patterns that are tres sexy, without the bimbo of the month tag :-D Right now I am knitting Orangina (http://www.glampyre.com/blog/archive/001478.php) in black. Should do the trick for me
Have you seen the sexy little nightgown and robe in Mason-Dixon Knitting? Done is linen.
I heart your cats

Oh, hey! Heck, I'll knit a kilt, if I can get more guys to wear them. Woo hoo!

Was flipping through that book last night at B&N after our knitting group met, and was appalled at much of the patterns in there. But then, I'm over 40 and might have only fit into any of those items when I was under 10. Even with a model's bod I still think that I'd want more coverage than these things offer, because many were see-through (nipples, people!) and also look like they'd stretch and slide right off as soon as you got in the ocean.

Let's face it - it's really nothing more than Victoria's Secret in the guise of a knitting pattern book.

HA! I'm like you, I'd want the book for the pictures and maybe a pattern or too!

I showed the pics to a friend, her response?

"Yeah, and doesnt wool sink - cause sheep drown in the water ??"

WAHHHH!

Love ya Laurie!

I think before I go with sexy little knits, I better recover my sexy little body.

I am sure it's hiding somewhere inside me.

What a cover! Laurie, that's great! I saw it and a knitting haiku "Junk in the Trunk Haiku" poppled into my head. I hit "publish, and then a second knitting haiku came to me!

I better stop now!

Did I just see what I thought I saw?! A knitted angora sleeper?

Won't one be felted into it by the time they wake up?

I'm SO thinking "yeast infection" when i saw that fuzzy suit. crazy.

a pink fur swimsuit? Eek.

Also, why would i want stripes on my bottom?

yeah, it does have cute potential, just not this BIgger Than Marilyn and Betty Body.

I look at those photos and keep reminding myself: if you wore it the last time around.. you can't wear it this time.

And with these photos.. all I can think is: Thank God!!

(oh no! did I just admit to wearing crocheted bikini tops out loud?)

Thanks for the peek inside; I've been wondering about that book.

When I was 16, maybe 17, some friends gave me a crocheted one piece bikini (does that make sense? the top and bottom were attached at the side, still leaving the tummy and back bare). It was bright pink. It was a joke gift, but I wore it to spite them. It was surprisingly cute, and held up well during a day at the beach. Of course, I was all of 110 lbs at most and no more than a c cup. I don't know what it was made of, probably acrylic, but it didn't have sagging issues or anything. I was amazed, and wore it more than a few times. I could never do that now.

Just curious what they make for dwarf shamu(?). I wouldn't look sexy behind a wall! Considering I am a truck driver and I have Dumbells in the truck for exercise (they call them dumbells because people who buy them are too dumb to know how to use them) I am about the oddest looking person out there! If anyone sees a little something that would make a (not even, 5', 160lb, EE chest -real, Ihave proof, they sag and cause severe back pain!), Belly almost as big as my boobs, celulite a$$, but good legs) girl feel good about herself number PLEASE let me know. If not I'll stick with the shamu Tee shirt as a bathing suite! On a good note my husband of nearly 20 yrs. Tells me I look good, To bad he is blind in one eye and can't see out of the other!

I love this book so so so much. She writes it so you can make things bigger or smaller. I did the tube top already and get so many comments- everyone loves that I knitted my own tube top. Domestic goddess and rock star!