I'm with you on the ADD shopping. I try to stick to a list, especially when I go to Trader Joe's, but I always end up grabbing at least $20 worth of stuff that I do NOT need (like, um, those Gardena chocolate-covered hazelnut wafers).

Oooh, am I first?

Love you Purl!....
I have made this same justification over and over:
...
"I would be denying my power as an adult if I didn't buy these! It would be a travesty! In fact, by purchasing chocolate double-stuff Oreos, I am declaring my independence!" ....

Just did the same thing Saturday too, it's even worse if I've sampled the wine before I go.

Oh heck, sorry for the Anon... it was me :)

9. Copious coffee
10. Have nap

Sorry - I'm just anal enough to finish off your list!

I do not share your grocery shopping issues...but I get that way in WalMart. No matter what I go in there for, I alwasy end up with $100 more than I meant to get.

Yay for lists!

Your cats and my cats could take over the world if they got together! Monte about decapitated me several months ago when I had to give him IV fluids every other day.

Yes, yes I DID say IV FLUIDS! Not a happy cat and I'm dang lucky he didn't decide to smother me (he weighs more than my son!)

Laurie, yet again you have proven to me that we're the normal ones and that all of the people who actually eat 3 regular meals a day are the crazy ones! Case in point, my roommate (also normal) sent me this email today about having pizza and watching Idol tonight: "One of my main motivating factors is that getting pizza is much easier than having to figure out what to make for dinner (since I have nothing in the freezer.)"

Top 8 = 10 (when rounded up).

Why is it, no matter what you go to the grocery store for, it always takes an hour. There is squash in my refrigerator. I hope it gets cooked before it rots (as usual).

I buy all the junk and blame it on the kids! They have the bad eating habits, not me. I eat vegetables, really I do. Hops and Barley are veggies aren't they?

Elevator People? I'm a little lost - must be a West Coast thing?

I love elevator people.
I think you might be one.

Can't sleep. The elevator people are going to get me!

My dear husband has actually taken over the task of grocery shopping due to my disabling case of ADD in supermarkets. I take a list of course but like you said there's always something NEW AND IMPROVED (chocolate-filled Oreos?) or SALEs THAT MUST NOT BE MISSED (I actually bought 2 CASES of pork and beans a few years ago and they do have expiration dates--trust me on that one).

The worst places for me are Costco and Sams. I am FORBIDDEN to go to those places alone ever. I have enough peanut butter and Bisquick to last for generations.

I'm so happy to know that I do not suffer alone. Do they have the places where you can order your groceries online and have them delivered? Maybe your gardener would shop for you....I hope you like Goya products!!!

I have to take a list to the grocery store as I often shop while hungry. The deal is that I can only buy what is on the list. The way around this is to include items like "snacks" and "desserts" on the list.

Now Target is a completely different tale. I can go in there with the intention of buying a couple of items that cost about $10 and walk out $100 later.

And now I am going to get back to my knitting (Yes, I can do that at work.) which has been suffering due to the amount of time I spend on the internet.

Ralphs AND Vons Pavilions deliver. You call them and tell them what you want and the next day they bring it to your house. The service is well worth the $5 . And the delivery guys are usually cute.

Love and Laughter,
Amy

I LOVE grocery stores. I drove 45 minutes the other day just to shop at the new Wild Oats in Tampa. I came home with about $50 worth of cheese. MMMMM...cheese.

I'm glad I'm not the only supposed adult who finds myself getting weak in the knees over exciting kid food. I cannot resist pink frosting. Yes, I know the chemicals that go into most pink frostings (at least the good kinds- the ones that are the color my Grandmama calls "pank") and I know my internal organs are probably stained that color. But I cannot resist a pink frosted snack cake. Or donut. Or cookie. Even if I know I'll regret it later, becuase it tastes like all those chemicals, I still must have it.

My BF swears I'm having an affair with the produce guy at our grocery store. He just can't figure out what I do there for 2 hours. Don't get me wrong, the produce guy is cute, but I'm more interested in his apples, not his, um, banana.

I hate eating alone... the only thing that bothers me more than eating alone is grocery shopping alone. I totally buy tons of junk food and random "healthy" items that I never eat. Last week the frozen pops in a tube were on sale 2 pkgs (50 each) for $5 so now I have 100 of them at my house. I buy the cat a few toys... she has no interest, if I give her a pony-tail-holder it's way better, yet, I continue to buy toys for her. There's always the Ben and Jerry's pints and of course, one must buy at least three b/c you have to try them. Then I buy fruit and a health magazine and a lean cusine for dinner. It keeps me thinking I'm healthy :)

Hi Laurie
I am also an ADD shopper. I had the same problem with the store not being laid out as my lists are. But I actually found a solution...see I'm also kind of an organization freak, so I got this cooking software that creates lists for you (you select the dish you want to make and it creates a shopping list with all the ingredients and the amounts). It also sorts the list by store locations, yes, store locations! So it's very helpful.
Of course being the computer nerd I am, I also altered the database so that it not only shows me "spices and condiments" but it shows "Aisle 04" so I can sort by number and have them come up in the order I go through the store. Of course that's only good if I go to the same store every time.
It also doesn't help my seeing something pretty/shiny/yummy and wandering off....
…mmmm Oreos….

But don't they also bring you down when you are up?

http://shop.safeway.com/offers/vons/default2.asp?PRMX_GOOG_DFIRST_0601

I am impressed that you have time for eating at all with the medicating 4 cats twice a day. I would think that would be a full time job in and of itself.

Besides, cabernet goes well with chocolate, thusly it is the perfect accompaniment to your cocoa puffs. Also, you deserve it, with the aforementioned full-time medicating duties.

Serious, here:

Get menumailer. http://savingdinner.com

Get the stuff for the "for two" menu, and you have lunch the next day. It -rules-. Gives you an itemized list and you end up spending way less on groceries.

The boytypeperson who I married eats like a horse, and thinks I'm some amazing cook because of this little service.

/end commercial-sounding note. No affiliation, just a great big fan. (Of menumailer AND your journal.)

I have some squashy squash in the frig right now, becoming one with the veggie drawer. Good intentions, no followthrough.
Why do we rally all our energy on dressing up and going to work and paying bills and holding ourselves upright in the outside world and then when it comes time to take care of ourselves we collapse on the couch and eat junk?

Almost worse than ADD shopping is carrying all the groceries in from the car, unloading from the bags and putting away. Apparently I am the only one in the house that knows how to throw stuff OUT so I am forced to then clean out the fridge before I can put anything away. Last night I was putting stuff away in the pantry when I found an old bag of rotting potatoes...EWWW! Food has its issues.

Isn't it cool when a solid (i.e. a cucumber) becomes a liquid AND a gas in the crisper tray of the refrigerator??? Try it in the name of science and show the kiddies!!

Or kitties!!

I personally love cooking, but that's just me. They don't call me weird Wendy for nothing. It must be difficult when you aren't sleeping and plotting new creative ways to medicate the cats. Happy to hear that the Valley came through for Patrick.

Ok, after multiple trips to the grocery and having to go back for those diced tomatoes I forgot, or forgetting to grab taco shells when I had managed to get everything else on my list for delicious homemade tacos. I now make my lists in order of my own personal grocery store navigation. The second column of the list is actually where I switch from one side of the store to the other.

It now takes longer to make my list than to actually shop for food.

girl you should see my fridge! my meals consist of 10 for $1 TV dinners, granola bars, and the occasional bowl of cereal! my poor neglected over has been used maybe 3 times this month! all to bake pre-formed chocolate chip cookies! sigh

i make lists for the grocery store but forget what's on my list...for some magical reason items get added! hmmm

LOL!
I am SO enjoying that not only you, but the your other devoted readers have the same problem in Grocery stores! I highly reccommend the menu mailer (MMMMmmmm the crab cake recipe!!!) and online grocery shopping too. It's the perfect thing- some nice lady makes your grocery list and emails it to you, then some cute delivery guy brings you your boxes o' groceries as you sit back in something comfy and cute drinking wine!
Hooray for cyber-facilliated sloth!
(and of course, there's ALWAYS Trader Joes frozen yummyness).

I shop like you, only with me, it's organic stuff. Look organic tofu! Organic hotdogs! Organic sesame seeds! I would probably eat a tire if it were labeled organic. And no, none of these ingredients add up to a meal either. But hey, organic = immortality, no?

The Jman did the same thing with that pseudo-clingwrap stuff and the toaster oven. And it wasn't even clear - it has FLOWERS on it, for the love of pete!

hmmm, laminated chicken. you might be on to something....

You know, the lack of transporter technology around here really sucks, because I'd really like to come over, stopping at the store on the way, and make you dinner. How do you feel about lamb stew with olives? Weird, you are probably thinking. It is really good. Trust me. Plus if you eat it you can have dessert, and I make a mean chocolate cake (she said modestly).

I think Callie has been doing some sort of wireless Vulcan mind meld with your cats. I went to catch her this morning with no more nefarious intent than putting her outdoors (because the exterminator was here), whereupon ensued several minutes of hissing and clever elusion.

Re the supermarket. Years ago when I was living in Italy, I went to the United States for the first time in possibly 20 years. The friends I was staying with took me to a supermarket - I had never been to a big US supermarket before. I ran up and down the aisles saying things like "walnuts! Look! They've got walnuts! Cup-a-soup! Cool! They've got Cup-a-Soup. Wait? What's Cup-a-Soup?" My friends made me wait outside. I was so sad. (Though I did later figure out, on my own, what Cup-a-Soup was.)

ohh..yeah...I know this one. My weakness includes new kitchen gadgets and anything in the health food section. Not a meal does it make.

Forget the grocery store. Forget Wal-Mart.
It's that evil empire of Target....
I consider it a major victory over capitalism if I'm able to go in for one thing, navigate directly to it, retrieve it, maneuver to the checkout and leave the store without any detours. I think I've only done it once. But in the store of 75% clearance racks, can you blame me for having to tour THE WHOLE STORE every time I go in??? I do have to confess, I could probably retire on what I've spent there. But it is a wonderland.

Since the list thing ain't workin' for ya, Laurie, just go with your flow (you are a creative, after all) and try not to be so hard on yourself. Might be better if you pay with cash and only take $30 with you. Then you'd have to say no to the divine distractions.

Arg. The last few lines of my message make me sound like a particularly dim canine.

In my defence, at the time, the idea of instant soup was very exciting.

The valley intrigues and scares me at the same time. I would go more often but you know, the 405 and the heat are enough to keep me away most of the time. Plus it’s so far away from the ocean. That is a pretty nifty little anecdote from Patrick though. Maybe someday I will find my salvation in the valley, who knows?

Laurie, my husband has the same shopping disease as you. I'm currently unable to drive - broken and mangled angle - and I had to sent him to the store yesterday. We now have $150 worth of groceries and still no actual meals can be prepared. Fortunately, I have the painkillers. ;)

I LOVE the bumper sticker! I must find one for my husband (an elevator mechanic). Good Luck with the square watermelons - can't wait to see them! I may try to grow some too, after I find that gadget to make square eggs. I thought I'd start a little smaller; instant gratification and all that, you know.

With the kitties, have you tried sour cream? My 3-catted friend swears by it for meds. You mix the medication with a spoonful of sour cream, let the cat lick up the sour cream, and you're all happy.

I was going to ask if it was possible to mix the medication with something smelly like sardines. My kids love to take their meds when sick, because they often taste like sickenly sweet candy. What's the cat equivalent of candy? Sardines or mackerel from a can, I guess. I know peanut butter works like a charm for dogs, but I don't know about cats. The sour cream idea you got from BigAlice might work, though. Well, that is if you don't forget it's in the fridge and try to serve it to them 4 days out of date. I guess you're dishing the stuff out often enough that you'd probably go through a gallon a week, though, right?

Okay, you and I have the same grocery shopping style. It's so sad. My child's bag to the babysitter everyday is a plethora of stuff that really doesn't go together.
I saw some treats at either Petco or Wal Mart (but I really think Petco) that you hide meds in and the pets eat them. Maybe you can find some for the cats?
Mix the meds in with tuna maybe?

The medication is liquid and they're dosed very specifically. It's just the finding of the cats that is now problematic, they must have tunneled under the floor or something. I need some Cat Minutemen at my house, stat.

You cook just like me lately!! Except my cereal of choice is Frosted Mini Wheats. Good for ANY meal! :)

If you really want to grocery shop, stop at the customer service desk. Almost all of them have a map of the store with what you can find in every aisle. That way you can right your list in order.

Elevator Unions? It's official: there are absolutely too many Unions in the world. What's next? Square Watermelon Growers Union of Southern California?

Maggie! You might be on to something there!!

I love you, Laurie. Can I please come live in your house and medicate your cats? I have big rubber gloves. It would work.

I joke. But seriously, I would medicate your cats.

Can you get a cat-medicating-helper, even for evening duty? (I've never had one--I just try to time the squirting to avoid the claws--but I only have 2 cats, so half as much work.)

I recently made a meatloaf, watched TV, checked the meatloaf in the oven, puttered around, went to a 3-hour meeting, came home, found the meatloaf still in the oven at 350 degrees... And then there was the Christmas when I was being Such A Good Girl and made breakfast for the family by baking the coffee cake Mom and I had made the night before. I didn't even realise until *after we had eaten it* that I didn't take the saran wrap off. (The next year, the directions were blurry and I baked it at 250 instead of 350, causing it to erupt all over the oven.)

First of all, loooove this blog! I'm a beginning knitter (I don't even know if I could call myself a beginner I'm that bad) and you inspire me to keep up with it (I just want to make a hat... that's all :))

Anyway, I saw this and thought of you:
http://www.slashfood.com/2006/05/24/grow-your-own-square-watermelon/
Good luck with the watermelons!

Still giggling at lori's "laminated chicken"..and, CAP Laurie love your blog! Hailing from Michigan if you keep track....

Oh, Libby, I would take you up on that and in fact you can just have the cats, except... well. They would hide from you LOL.

I can't really ask anyone to help, since all my potential helpers have cats of their own, and I would rather cut off my left arm than get their cats sick, too.

I wish on slashfood they would say WHERE to buy that green square mold for the watermelons!! I'm having to improvise on my own here. And you know, improvisation leads to comedic error hehehehe

hah - magnum ice creams were my declaration of independence. I empathise with the chicken in its wrap thing. I once cooked and ate a vegetarian sausage that still had plastic wrap on... I thought they were making them tough as a real substitute for meat ones....

I love that your Top Ten list only has 8 items. What a hoot!

I believe I saw a special on HBO about how the Valley is the porn capital of the world. Lucky you! (You always have a fall-back career if White Guys in Ties, Inc. goes out of business). ;-)

AmyL, *love* "ADD shopper"! May I use it wantonly?

Laurie - Oh yes. Am also a member of the zero-meals-for-a-C-note club {{frets}}. Must make inquiries at Flynn's about possible affiliated locations in the Valley, in the interests of your general nutrition; otherwise, shall I send you a Heater Meal? (The other iteration is BBQ Beef, I found out.) Nice score on the bumpersticker, too :>

oops, I didn't see that AmyL was quoting Laurie :-J Is it public domain yet?

I wish I could help you with the hiding cats thing. My kitties like to sneak out the front door when I come in with an arm load of stuff (never groceries) and hide under the house. I literally sat outside for 2 hours with a can of catfood, numerous catnip toys, a cigarette and a glass of wine crying because I thought they were going to love under the house forever. My suggestion? Get rid of all your furniture so they have nowhere to hide.

Apparently some guy has experimented with square watermelons and has now written a how-to book.

http://www.MySquareWatermelon.com/book

Dagny, isn't it sad that I'm too cheap to buy the book?

We'll just keep on experimenting here at Chez Broke & Broker ...LOL

LOL. I keep tellin' ya. Stuff like that, you've gotta put on the birthday wishlist -- right after the Jordana Paige tote. Oh yeah, and checks. Checks always make good gifts.

um yep....a list in the market is a necessity...and i got smart and use the same pattern of shopping from like left to right or right to left, and frozen foods last...then u make up your list by general areas as u add things to it all week...no biggie. i hate leaving a store and forgetting to have gotten an item on the list because i overlooked it...thats why i group the items...i do allow myself to get things not on list, but make sure i get what is needed. do u have a gas grill laurie? its so damn fast to grill a london broil for yourself! and slam some frozen veggies into a pan to heat... voila! make extra veggies enough for the next night, and throw them on a pasta... voila! i make it fast cookin myself. even get premixed greens for salads, baby tomatoes and baby carrots and all... i'll eat healthy if its easy and fast.
the cats dont want to kill you... they probably just think you have gone crazy! lololol...

Hey, Jordana Paige isn't advertising anymore...

there you go, talking about food again. *sigh*

Hi Laury,

Do you ever get lonely with so many people reading your blog? Probably not. Hope not.

Anyhow... some of us even have a more pathetic life than yours.. So pathetic that reading your blog is one of the highlights of our day... So could you please do something uplifting this weekend?

God.. I'm worse than pathetic...

I cannot be trusted with a credit card in a yarn store.

There WAS a tiny earthquake last night at about 9 so your not totally carzy. Martha's Everyday Food Mag is my saviour they have weeklong menus with the shopping lists grouped the way the market it is. Heaven!

You are sooooo funny. I love your honesty and sense of humor since I can totally relate. I hope your cats are getting better.

PS: there are double stuff Oreos with chocolate filling? gotta go...

I don't know how many times I've looked down at my cart in the supermarket and thought I'm just a 10 year old with a pay check! glad I'm not the only one.

Recently I tried these new "Reduced Sugar" Cocoa Puffs (Made with Whole Grain!). It didn't have the same "great chocolately taste" because Splenda always tastes a little off to me, and frankly, I don't buy something called Cocoa Puffs if I want something healthy. That's why there's Wheat Bran.

Ha ha what a funny way to start my day!
Mia

"Yesterday I ate dry Cocoa Puffs, a turkey sandwich, three red vines, two pickles and a banana and nary a pot nor plate was defiled. That is quite a feat!"
Upon reading this I thought, yep, that is a feast! Then I realized. Oh well, still a feast in my book.
Fellow 818-er here. I say we stop trying to convince people to come over the hill because if we do it will only become as crowded and obnoxious as it is over there. Sherman Oaks- woot woot.

I started a new job today so I am reading your blog as a 'wind down' tool! It works very well, as usual. I have 3 kitties and just moved with them so they're all freaked out. At night, of course. At full volume.

My mom once did the plastic wrap on lazagna. We never let her forget it. =)

I hope you realize how many folks you impact in a great way. Thanks.

savingdinner.com ---subscribe for a small fee and each week you download a new set of meals with menus for six dinners (there is a set for cooking two servings so you will have leftovers for lunch without having to eat the same thing for the whole week) AND A SHOPPING LIST in order by rows of the store. worth its weight in gold.

Ah, Laurie. I always make my grocery list in the order of the aisles, otherwise I'll forget stuff even though it's written right there in front of me. Just the other night I got careless with the listing and Peter actually berated me in the store, "but you wrote in "crackers" way over there! no wonder we couldn't find them!". Heh. Anal weirdos will rule the world someday.

My great uncle tried cooking a roast with the saran wrap on. Luckily my grandma caught it in time.

I find that if I scribble out things on my grocery list as I put them in the cart that I'm less likely to forget something. Of course, that doesn't prevent the extras from hopping in.

Wait a minute! Lists come in TEN. You're missing 9 & 10! ;)

I mostly lurk around here because you have so many admirers that there is little to add by the time everyone has spoken up!

I think you are one of the funniest, wittiest and charming gals-a-blogging and I ALWAYS enjoy what you have to say - even on the dark days.

I'm piping up today because your post made me realize that I thought of you twice in the last few weeks when I was far from the computer. Funny how our blog 'friends' bleed into real life, huh?

The first time was when I saw this license plate and was encouraged to do a little 'creative' blogging :)( http://lesophie.blogspot.com/2006/05/your-success-is-our-success.html ).

The second time was when I went to see Down in the Valley this past weekend. Have you seen it? Although there is definitely some darkness going on there I really enjoyed it (hello, Ed Norton?!). I caught myself wondering during the movie "I wonder if Crazy Aunt Purl lives near there?".

That's all for now - I'll try to pipe up more often around here and if you see Ed wandering around in his cowboy hat, tell 'em I said hi!

Here is something from YouTube. A day on a chinese bus. Careful! Chinese swear words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsYRQkmVifg&search=bus%20uncle

I wondered if your bus rides were this eventful.

I haven't lurked recently to check on the square watermellon progress, so please excuse me if you have already seen this. But, if you haven't, it made me think of you.

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/05/23/grow_a_square_waterm.html