March 21, 2006
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
Hi! I was going to post this cute little project I made over the weekend, but for the second day in a row I left the pattern at home (I wrote it out on the back of a Ralph's reciept, not a memorable pattern-keeping-spot) and Brangelina still isn't done because this morning I fell asleep on the bus (whoops) (so. tired.) and did exactly zero rows of knitting, in fact I maybe acidentally unknitted when I fell asleep and a few stitches escaped. Ah well. Hi!
So, this is the official I Have Nothing To Say column. Luckily for me, I manage to say nothing in more words than anyone I know.
My dad called me last night. My dad is funny. Ya'll wonder why I turned out the way I did? Genetics, folks!
Dad: They're rioting in Paris again.
Me: So I hear.
Dad: Well, I have one piece of advice for you. For when you go to Paris.
Dad: Don't carry any placards.
Me: Thanks, Dad. I'll leave my placards at home.
2) Feline Helpers
I went shopping last night for a few essentials (namely, cat food and wine) and perhaps because I am lazy and also a crappy housekeeper, the wine made it to the kitchen but the shopping bag containing the Meow Mix sat on the floor. I really do appreciate the felines here at Chez Cat Burglar, who stayed awake during the night, working hard to free me of the terrible burden of opening the bag.
3) This is probably who I'll end up dating
When I was cropping that Meow Mix picture, I ran across a photo I had taken a few weeks back when I was at the Northridge Mall, The Height Of Fashion, with Jennifer. We walked into the "As Seen On TV" store, because really! As seen on TV! How could we resist?
Anyway, we walked around the aisles which were almost entirely stocked with the Annotated Works Of Ron Popiel, and then I saw this little gem:
This potty golf kit featured a photo of a REAL GUY sitting on the throne and hitting a hole-in-one, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Ya'll suppose he ever told his friends and family about his modeling gig on the side? Is he proud of it? Does he tell chicks on the first date that he's a model? Or maybe that he's a sports enthusiast?
Ah, the things I ponder.
Sometimes a little Bobface is all you need to see to make a Tuesday complete.
5) Finally, more chitchat.
Dad: Make sure you don't talk to any strangers. In France.
Me: Well, that shouldn't be a problem, since I speak no French!
Dad: You don't speak French? How are you planning to order anything to eat?
Me: Dad, according to your rules I'm not supposed to be talking to strangers anyway.
Dad: Yes, but you have to eat.
Me: I seem to manage.
Dad: You know, when you're there you ought to eat some French fries.
Me: Oh, But Dad!! [So excited now, because I get to tell my favorite joke ever!!] In France, they're just called fries.
Dad: Have you had those before?
Me: Indeed, I have.
Dad: And how did they taste?
Me: Tres French.
Dad: There you go! You can speak French. See? Now just don't talk to strangers. And leave your placards at home.
Posted by laurie at March 21, 2006 9:46 AM