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March 16, 2006

I use the word Pavlovian like I am all scientific and stuff.

I spend a lot of time philosophizing about traffic and transportation because I spend a lot of time in traffic. Some of the traffic could be eliminated by simply elimating the bad drivers. (And ya'll wonder why we shoot each other on the freeway here?) This particular picture, for example, was taken while we were all stopped at a GREEN light because someone at the front of the line had... maybe fallen asleep? Left to redecorate the trunk? Started watching episodes of LOST on the ol' video ipod and forgot he or she was operating a motor vehicle? WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

But I had plenty of time to check out the lowrider-ish truck in front of me, and his... personal statement:

From one vertically challenged person to another, I can say in
all honesty that I hope it works out for him.

I took this picture yesterday on my way home from the park 'n ride. We were stopped at this green light for so long that I had ample opportunity to dig around in my handbag, find my camera, turn it on, focus, snap a picture and still had time left over to honk!

Because. I am a honker.

However, in a cruel twist of fate, I myself do not like being a honkee, recipient of honkage at any time, and I have a rather absurd Pavlovian response to being honked at. It goes something like this:

Action: You honk at me
Reaction: I give you the finger

Pavlov's cat!

Even if I am the one doing something boneheaded and am deserving of the honk (not likely, as I am southern lady!), I still have an auto-response physical reaction to your honk and I will flip you off. Honking really serves no purpose whatsoever, except as a method of cussing out another driver when they can’t hear the colorful language you’re shouting inside the air-conditioned cocoon of your car. If you have air-conditioning. Which I do not.

So yes, I honk. I admit it. I’m a honker. If you are waiting for a written invitation to turn right on red, if you are having a moral debate on whether or not to actually go forward on green, if you are yammering away on a cellphone or reading the newspaper instead of driving your car -- I will honk at you. And if you honk at me because I won’t make a right turn into a line of pedestrians or because I am stopped at a crosswalk, or God forbid I’m pulling over to let an ambulance pass, then ya'll know what happens. You get the finger. But it isn’t road rage. It isn't even a conscious decision. It’s conditioning, I swear!


Posted by laurie at March 16, 2006 8:53 AM